Boundaries Against Narcissists.

hi guys thank you for watching the Royal weed my name is Kevin and in this video I want to talk to you about boundaries boundaries are such an important issue guys coming out of a narcissistic abuse part of the healing process of it is a newer understanding of what boundaries are and how you are going to be developing boundaries in your life right now some of the things that I'm gonna say are probably gonna validate you you already are starting to understand these things and you're you're starting to gain a new perspective of your own boundaries some of the things may take a while to process because they can be pretty deep and pretty scary but nonetheless it's going to help you to understand where you were where you're at with your boundaries okay first of all boundaries your boundaries when we talk about boundaries boundaries are called your boundaries for a reason it's all about you what the circle represents are my boundaries what's with inside of this circle that's where my boundaries live right here right here in this circle so this dictates where I go what I do what I say what I don't say the boundaries are around myself not around anybody else even jesus said behold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves so be as shrewd as a serpent but innocent as a dove this is a very explicit telling profound Scripture if we care to listen to it and if we care to believe it What's it telling us well the scriptures actually saying two very important things about boundaries all right first of all it's saying that there are wolf-like beings in this world and I did a lot of praying over this and I said wait a minute our parents can be wolves our best friends can be wolves our boyfriends or girlfriends our spouses can be wolves really that's not right and it was through this questioning and through my prayers that I was pointed to different scriptures in the Bible such as the very beginning in Genesis where I was awakened to the very first murder that was ever recorded in history the very first murder was when Cain killed his own brother Abel guys what does this tell you about the world that we live in what does this tell you about people yes there's a dichotomy yes there's evil yes there's good yes it exists in your own family yes it can be in your spouse yes it could be in your brother and your sister yes so what do we do the answer is be as shrewd as a serpent but innocent is the Duff that's the answer this is boundaries what does this mean well these fruit is a serpent they're intelligent they can smell trouble a mile away they stay out of trouble if they can they kind of sink back and they know how to get out of a situation super fast they don't play around that's how we're supposed to be shrewd we need to use our common sense we need to use our quick wits and be able to stay out of situations that's the first part we need to be shrewd the second part of this innocent as doves we don't go looking for trouble guys when we come across a narcissistically abusive people in our lives we don't go and ask a bunch of questions try to solve the problem try to fix them that's looking for trouble that's not being innocent that's stepping outside of our bounds to try to control something else guys behold I send you out as sheep amidst the wolves do you really think you can control a wolf this is something I struggled with - good luck with that there's a reason he used Wolf's in this scripture because they're wild animals they're uncontrollable good luck there's no such thing as dancing with Wolves guys good luck trying to sit down and explain to a wolf how to be yet that's what we find ourselves trying to do it's trying to explain to narcissistically abusive people what's right and what's wrong guys when we do this we're putting ourselves in danger that's not being as innocent as a dove let's talk about implementing boundaries now there's three areas in life where we can implement our boundary so that we can stay safe okay the first area on a talk to you about is your own path in this life your own journey there's this path that I'm on right here right now what's going to be the best most efficient way for me to get from this point where I'm at right now to the end of this trail where which is where I want to be well the best way is to follow this path that's the best way to ensure that I get there now is there a lot of beautiful things over here yes there is if I were to go off this path does it look good yes it does but let me show you something along with the beautiful scenery over here there's also cliffs Bluffs right there's also some dangerous things that I have to watch out for okay it's important to understand this a narcissistic abuse takes place in our life when bite by seducing us off of our path because it looks good because it says good things to us narcissistically abusive people are excellent they're experts of manipulating saying hey I'll take care of you I'll be everything that you need me to be and before we know it we're off our path believing it way over here enjoying the scenery but kind of not looking at the danger as well the cliffs remember guys narcissistically abusive people gained power over you by pulling you off of your path by seducing you away from the journey and the path you have in this life remember that the next area in your life that you can set boundaries around is your own time your time is precious your time is fleeting guys it is going away very quickly listen you're not growing younger you're growing older every moment is precious what are you doing with your time where are you gonna spend your time again narcissistically abuse of people take advantage of your time they control and dictate what you should do with your time well you need to come over to our house for this party you need to come spend Christmas Eve over here you need to let me come into your house and talk to you you need you should go out with us you should all this and that it's all demanding of your time your time is precious when you set boundaries around your time you're saying no this is my time I'm not gonna go over to your house for Christmas Eve no I'm not going to talk to you anymore on the phone no I'm not going to spend any more moments texting you no I'm not going to spend any more time thinking about you my time is precious and instead you're gonna set boundaries around this time and you are going to be the controller of your time you're gonna spend your time thinking about what you want to think about you're gonna spend your time doing the things that you want to do with the people you want to do it with you're gonna spend your time focusing on your own journey in your own path of this life you're not gonna waste your precious moments it's in these places where we're wasting time with people we have no business being with in places we have no business going this is where again we fall into the trap of narcissistic abuse the last area that I want to talk to you about is in your wisdom and your understanding listen you have been given a gift of rationalization of understanding of empathy empathy is a gift remember in this world of dichotomy that we live in where evil exists empathy is your gift protected set boundaries around it use your empathy to help other people who also have empathy who are struggling do not waste your empathy on the wolf's on people who don't get it on people who don't care about it listen guys Jesus said don't throw your pearls before swine because they will trample it under their feet and then turn and tear you to pieces he is telling us exactly what narcissistically abusive people do do you think you telling the disciples to literally throw pearls to pigs know what he's saying is that listen there's people who are not going to understand your level of empathy they're not going to get your good nature they're not gonna know what to do with your love not only will they not know what to do with it but they will hate it so they will take your love and your good nature and they'll trample it under their feet that's what narcissistically abusive people do right you give them your love you give them your good nature and they trample it and then what do they do they turn and tear you to pieces you're the bad one I want to punish you and destroy you listen guys the Bible tells us all about a narcissistic aliy abusive people in a narcissistic abuse all we have to do is open our eyes and understand this and set boundaries around ourselves take this stuff serious so protect your own wisdom protect your empathy protect your love protect your good nature protect yourself by keeping it within your boundaries don't just go out and throw it to narcissistically abuse of people expecting them to understand it if you have any questions about this video go ahead and contact me I leave my number at the end of each video guys thanks for watching bye it's cold out here and things get a little fogged up I really hope that you liked the video that I share it and guys if you do I would really appreciate if you would subscribe to my channel so you can stay up to date with all the latest material that I'm gonna put out also take advantage of the fact that I leave my telephone number right there for you to contact me now I am working on a course and in time the course will be available and I hope to become more of a life coach and be able to help you through and walk you through the process of healing even more than I am right now so but until that time comes take advantage of the fact the phone number is there I do my best to answer each and every one of your phone calls and I appreciate your comments I appreciate all of your tips that would help me to better help you thank you guys so much for being a part of the Royal we and for sharing this journey with me

Channel: The Royal We

Views: 76,838

Keywords: boundaries against verbal abuse, protect yourself, set boundaries in abusive relationships, how to set boundaries with your abuser, how to set boundaries with narcissists, personal boundaries, set boundaries around yourself, the royal we narcissists, setting boundaries to protect yourself, how to set boundaries in relationships

Id: YvnJBzyi7Vo

Length: 11min 4sec (664 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 26 2018