This video is sponsored by Skillshare. In middle school we used to play this game
called “Set em out” where if you did or said something stupid or embarrassing, someone
would say “Set that out!” And you had to hold out your hands, and let
them slap you. Yeah, it’s a dumb game, but we were 12. Looking back it was actually a pernicious
game that attempted to enforce a certain standard of social behavior with literal violence. So those of us with ideas and interests that
seemed a little outside of the norm, often had to keep our mouths shut. I’ve always been on the fence about identifying
as a ‘nerd.’ I mean, I have a lot of nerdy qualities. I’ve got a bunch of these things everywhere. I’ve been playing World of Warcraft for
ten years. And to this day, I’m perfectly willing to
have an hour long conversation with you about the philosophy of the Matrix. [NEO:] Whoa. [T1J:] But I also lack a lot of the qualities
that are stereotypically associated with ‘nerds.’ Like I don’t really have social anxiety,
although I’m fairly reserved in person, I’m definitely not an introvert, and I love
things like sports and fitness. Honestly, the concept of being a nerd these
days is so blurry that it may not even be much of a thing anymore. Nerdiness used to be about earnest devotion
to esoteric and obscure inclinations, but these days many things that are associated
with nerds have reached the mainstream. Almost all of the highest grossing films of
all time are sci-fi or fantasy movies. Some of the most high profile public figures
are people with careers in science and technology. And it seems like every other week I find
a video with some famous celebrity playing Dungeons and Dragons. Now there are some nerdy subcultures that
have yet to break out into the front lines of pop culture. But whereas nerds in the past were often ostracized
because of their peculiar tastes, these days you can’t really justify turning your nose
up at a kid for dressing up like a giant fox, when you just got done watching an anime about
a kid possessed by a giant fox. All of this ambivalence about being a nerd
was amplified for me as a young black kid who grew up in lower income neighborhoods. I think being cool and popular is a concern
for kids of all races, but for black kids, especially black boys, it was kind of do or
die. Hi, I’m T1J. [WEIRD VOICE:] Follow me! Real quick I’d like to give a big shoutout
to my patrons. None of these videos would be possible without
the support I get on Patreon from you amazing folks, including people like Dan Tower, Daniel
R. Murphy, and Corey Shimpf. If you head to my Patreon page, you’ll see
that I’ve set up a new goal. I want to try to move back to making 2 videos
a month, but I’ll definitely need some production help to do that, if I want the quality of
the videos to not suffer. That includes more equipment, space, and human
effort, all of which cost money. So if you’re interested in that, consider
supporting. So when I think of black men that I admired
growing up, it was people like Denzel Washington, and Michael Jordan, and Eddie Murphy. Dudes who were hip and talented and fashionable
and seemed to have it all. Rarely was I exposed to black personalities
who were celebrated specifically because of their intellect or unique interests. In black media back then, the male protagonists
were always cool and confident and street smart. Definitely not nerds. Even in non-black media, black characters
were often added as a source of practical wisdom or shrewd humor. When we did experience nerdy black characters,
they were always the butt of every joke. The fact that they were nerds was unambiguously
a character flaw. Of course, there were nerdy white characters
who were made fun of as well, but there’s such a higher variety of white characters
to choose from, that you could easily find just as many characters any nerd could be
proud of. You ever notice how one of the main differences
between the Jurassic World movies and the Jurassic Park movies is that they replaced
all the nerds? I love this movie, the good guys are nerds,
the bad guy’s a nerd. This guy’s…a nerd? There are just no black movies with this many
nerds in it. Jurassic Park’s interesting because it actually
has a black nerd in it; chief engineer Ray Arnold, played by Samuel L. Jackson. He’s neurotic and kind of anti-social but
he is shown to be highly intelligent and invested in his work, and it’s not played as a negative
thing. But it’s probably not a mistake that the
role was given to Jackson, an actor known by this point for playing characters who are
pretty unambiguously not nerds. If it was Urkel at that computer instead of
Sam Jackson, it probably woulda had less impact. There are other complex examples as well,
like the character Dwayne Wayne in the great sitcom “A Different World.” He’s kind of a nerd, like he’s a math
whiz who got a perfect SAT score, and he wears these dorky glasses, but beyond that he’s
confident and handsome and popular and he sits in chairs backwards so you know he’s
cool. By the way, a while back I tweeted about A
Different World, and got like no response, which leads me to believe that a lot of yall
white folks have not watched this amazing show. Go watch it. F*ck Pam and Jim, Dwayne and Whitley for life. It’s a great show I love it. But nevertheless, as a black kid in the 90s
it was never a compliment to be compared to Ray Arnold or Dwayne Wayne. Much less Carlton Banks or Steve Urkel. Both the middle school and high school I went
to were made up of 90% black people, so I don’t have much of a reference for what
it was like in other kinds of schools. In TV and movies they always talked about
the different cliques that hang out together in school, like the jocks, the goths, the
stoners etc., and one of the cliques is almost always the nerds or the geeks. And even though the nerds are stereotypically
bullied by the jocks and generally socially inept, they still seem either unwilling or
unable to alter their lifestyles and dispositions. At my schools though, this just wasn’t really
a thing. We had cliques and friend groups, but being
a willing nerd was just not conceivable for the most part. Not everyone tried to be popular per se, but
most everyone at least tried to be cool and fit in. Not everyone succeeded, but they tried. Things that were considered socially deviant
were usually not displayed or talked about openly. There were no goths or stoners or geeks at
my schools. There were of course people who displayed
those characteristics and participated in those activities, but it was never on full
display. It wasn’t really a part of people’s public
identity. Being a black kid at a black school, at least
in my experience, required a certain level of social competence, regardless of your specific
interests. And there were kids who struggled to do it,
and they were usually ostracized for it. The difference is, they didn’t usually have
a clique to turn to afterward. There were just individuals branded as just
a little too weird. I think a lot of this, again, goes back to
popular media. Media that targets black people historically
never celebrated typically nerdy things. When I was in school, all the little boys
emulated rappers and comedians and athletes, because that’s all we saw. That was our definition of cool. And it was cool! I still love Bone Thug N Harmony, and the
movie Friday, just like I did back then. But I also liked Magic the Gathering and Geometry. Just didn’t bring those up as much. And I think a lot of us had unique interests
like that, but there was just no social space back then to fully explore and share them. It just didn’t seem correct for a black
kid. But maybe there’s a reason for that. A 2007 New York Times article described nerdiness
as a state of being “hyper white.” Literally defining it in direct contrast to
behaviors and traits that are typically associated with black Americans. The idea being that a lot of what makes white
people seem trendy and popular in America are often things that they appropriate from
black people. [WOMAN:] Bye Felicia. [GAMER:] Yeet! Yeet! [GIRL:] Sksksk, and I oop! [T1J:] According to that aforementioned article:
“By cultivating an identity perceived as white to the point of excess, nerds deny themselves
the aura of normality that is usually one of the perks of being white.” So this all seems glib, and it’s obviously
messy and generalized but I think we all kind of get it intuitively. At least in America. That’s why there’s so many movies about
super square white people learning how to be cool from some black person who serendipitously
entered their lives. In pop culture, “uncool” is often defined
as “the absence of blackness.” When black comedians back in the day did bits
about White People, they were always basically “hyper white.” And they were usually goofy and out of touch,
and often directly compared to black people who are depicted as more savvy and assertive. [STEVE HARVEY (goofy voice):] 'Well, to tell
you the truth. You're just not cuttin' it.' 'Tom! What are you sayin'?' (normal voice:) You know good and hell well what he sayin'! [T1J:] He’s voicing two separate characters
here but they have the same voice and personality. It’s just his stand in voice for all white
people. And I think I internalized that as a kid. Because at a black school, things that were
considered nerdy and uncool, were not just things that were unique and obscure, but also
simply things that were associated with white people. Things like Dungeon & Dragons, sure, but also
things that in any other context would probably be cool, like being a fan of rock music. I can’t find the clip, but I remember watching
this black comedian with friends back in the day that was making fun of different types
of rock music. And one of the bits was clearly parodying
Nirvana, which I knew, because I discovered Nirvana in high school and they quickly became
like my favorite band, and they kinda still are. Specifically they were making fun of how Kurt
Cobain’s verses were always mellow and dreary, while the choruses were usually essentially
screaming. And, I mean, it was funny but I kind of wanted
to tell my friends, ‘Yeah the sludgy sound of grunge is designed to mirror the ugliness
and depravity of the real world, while the loud sections reflects the angst and anger
the artists feels towards it.” But I decided against it, because I didn’t
feel like getting my hands slapped. The funny thing is, in hindsight, the comedian
was clearly familiar enough with Nirvana to parody a song well enough for me to recognize
it. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were a fan
themselves. For many black kids back then, being a nerd
was just not an option, at least not in public, because it would mean betraying our own blackness. In fact a common thing that happens to nerdy
black kids is a questioning of their blackness. They get accused of “acting white” or
“wanting to be white”, or are called "Oreos"--black on the outside but white on the inside. The plight of the black nerd was confusing
and frustrating in a wholly unique way. Because for black people, being a nerd isn’t
about wanting to be white. In fact most black people I know who identify
as nerds still do things like listen to black music and use black slang and follow black
trends. They usually have a lot of pride in their
upbringing and background. But when society and pop culture defines nerdiness
as the “lack of blackness” that puts black nerds in a very awkward spot. These days prototypical ‘black nerds’
are much more prominent in society and media than before. Black people and black culture are of course
as diverse and varied as any other group of humans, and we’re finally starting to see
that not only reflected, but also celebrated. I don’t think it’s because of any specific
reverence to black people though, I think it’s more due to the increased acceptance
of traditionally ‘nerdy’ interests in general. And because it’s now easier to find public
figures and influential characters who don’t fit the one-dimensional stereotypical mold
of what it means to be black, I think that encourages more young people to embrace their
unique interests and share them with the world without fear. And that’s why I often feel awkward calling
myself a nerd. I spent so much time resisting the classification,
and by the time I became willing to accept it, it seemed to have begun losing its meaning. We’re all unique and we all like different
things, and there’s really no existing profile of what it means to be or not be a nerd anymore. When people say, “I’m a nerd.” I really think they’re holding on to outdated
definitions. We might think, “Well I love videos games
and anime, so I guess I’m a nerd.” But f*ckin, everybody plays video games and
watches anime.” Some people cling on to the “nerd” idea
in a sort of contrarian way, because it seems better to be different than to conform to
the masses. But what those people need to realize is that
we’re all different. You and I might have a couple of interests
in common, but we also probably diverge on other things. According to a recent Reddit thread, high
school cliques in America still exist, but have become so varied and contain a lot of
overlap. The brainy kids might be fashionable and hip,
while the jocks might be hardcore gamers who get straight As. And they also might not. And don’t get me wrong, there’s still
a lot of pressure for young black kids to be cool, but I think what’s cool is no longer
based on the stereotypical idea of blackness that I grew up with. I’m sure there are still problems and bad
ideas out there, but the trend seems to be that people are becoming more open to behaviors
and media that may have in the past gotten you shoved into a locker. So I hope that trend continues. DAS JUS ME DOE. What do you think? Thank you for watching, and thanks to Skillshare
for sponsoring this video. Skillshare is an online learning community
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