Biblical Guidelines to Relationship Success | Bishop C.M. Wright

father we love you today thank you for your blessings upon us your goodness to us we ask you to it minister to us today and help us to grow in our relationship with you it was understanding and wisdom knowledge of you in Jesus name Amen praise God I may be jumping the gun a little bit here because I'm I got something I'm working on but a lot of times as the Lord has given me something if I have an opportunity to teach it he begins to fill in the blanks biblical guidelines to relationship success now I didn't say specifically relationship with God but that is the primary application of these things but most of them will work in human relationships okay so I'm going to move kind of fast and I'll be reading quite a bit of Scripture whoever's on the computer I can't wait on you so you're gonna have to go as fast as you can okay I'm gonna start with John chapter 7 verses 28 through 29 then cried Jesus in the temple as he taught saying he both know me and you know whence I am and I am not come of myself but he that sent is true whom you know not but I know him but I know him for I am from him he had sent me and then John 8 beginning with verse 54 jesus answered if I honor myself my honor is nothing it is my father that honoureth me of whom you say that he is your God yet you have not known him but I know him and if I should say I know him not I shall be like a liar unto you but I know him and keep his saying your father Abraham rejoiced to see my day and he saw it and was glad so there's a lot of other verses but I just felt use these two I want you to notice the emphasis Jesus has put here on the man Christ Jesus knowing the father and obviously this isn't like saying well you know who President Obama is or you know who Tom Cruise is that's one of the problems that these media stars have like actors is that you watch them act on a screen and you begin to identify with that person in your emotions and then you think you know that person and then you hear stuff about them that's contrary to what you thought you knew about them because it's too easy to forget they were playing a part that has nothing to do who they really are so we have a very broad definition today of what it means to know someone but biblically spiritually knowing someone is much more it's much more narrowly defined than that thank you much more narrowly defined knowing someone means you you you've learned what they like what they don't like you you you have some idea what their favorite color is you have some idea what their priorities are and of course in and many times the uses use of the word know in the scripture implies a relationship that includes a relationship of love you're loving someone so jesus said this beginning in John 14 verse 5 and read a little bit here Thomas said to him Lord we know not whence thou goest and how can we know the way jesus saith unto him I am the way the truth and the life no man cometh unto the father but by me if ye had known me you see see how narrowly he defines the word know here they had spent day and night with him for three years but did not know him they didn't know who he was if he had known me you should have known my father also and from henceforth know him and have seen him Philip saith unto Him Lord show us the father and it sufficeth us jesus said sit on him have I been so long time with you and yet hast thou not known me Philip he that hath seen me has seen the father and how sayest thou then show us the father and again if it was possible for these men to spend three day 24 hours a day seven days a week for three years with him and not know him that it is possible for people to come to church two or three times a week sit through worship services and preaching sessions and not know him so again what I'm trying to do before I go forward here is to help you understand how narrowly the scripture defines this because you and I could go sit in the same room together for 24 hours and not know anything more about each other at the end of that 24 hours than we did before because knowing includes communication it includes communication with an in the interest of finding out about the other person more than talking about yourself it's knowing that you know I've had people say to me over the years how in the world can God expect one man and one woman to stay together their entire lives I mean wouldn't that get boring boring is not exactly the word I would choose they're challenging challenging especially from the male to the female part because the Lord did make ladies different it's not just gender their DNA is different they think different they see stuff differently I'm not saying once better or worse God made her second you think he would have done better the second time right that's what I think I see a lot of things and women that aren't in men I mean you know most men I know are primarily single focus guys you know if I don't if I'm not careful when I'm eating I'll eat all of this and then move to this and then move to this and then move to this I mean yeah I have to for I've to remind myself you it's polite to eat a little bit kind of work around the plate I have to remind my I consciously remind myself to do that women are born created multitaskers and of course sometimes men have a problem with women because they don't seem to be able to focus on one thing because that's not the way they're created of course women are really really really really really really really good for frustrating than men because they are not multi tasker's and of course ladies are very happy when they get that single focus on something they want that man to be focused on now that's happy right because when that guy gets focused on whatever it is she won't seem focused on he gives everything because he doesn't know any other way so yes everything he's got to that one focus but the problem is she's learned him if she's been around here very long there's no such thing as a TD it's part of its being male I guess there's 880 females and god help you but you know we stay focused men are focused on one thing but we get bored for that one thing so we want to move on to something else and that's why the Lord made the woman so interesting and challenging and unfathomable to a man because there's it's not boring and when you first are involved in a relationship and I mean like the first 10 years you this this this changeable Ness you you think it's accidental that it's some flaw until you begin to watch it really close and realize it's a strategy it's deliberate I'm talking about knowing someone and again if the Lord chose and he did the number one relationship natural relationship the Lord chose to be the living example of the spiritual relationship between God and man God and humans is the marriage relationship it's the marriage relationship and if he chose the marriage relationship then it has in the natural a very similar potential as the husband wife relationship has when it is fulfilled according to his plan according to his intentions what he expects to come out of it what he expects the result of it to be so he says you've been with me all this time Philip you don't even know me you don't know who I am first 10 believers now not that I'm in the father and the father and me the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself but the but the father that dwelleth in me he doeth the works I was teaching in the some of you brothers were here I was teaching and the the men's conference couple weeks ago here the district men's conference and I was talking about some of the differences between males and females and I'm looking at it was really basic stuff I mean stuff I've said most here forever and it was really basic stuff and I'm looking at a few guys with more than a few guys unfortunately married guys looking like this is the most wondrous stuff I've ever heard and I'm going oh god how are you and your wife still together if you don't have any clue to any of this I don't know how you're doing that and and I I know people mean well and so guys oh brother right that was just so great and and they don't realize what they're saying to me in my in my mind they're incriminating themselves that's exactly what they're doing if you yeah I'm not talking about I'm not talking about young guys well if it was young guys okay okay I understand young guys don't know this stuff young guys think they know everything I know nothing mmm that's why you need a wife to teach you you know nothing praise God hallelujah and they're good at it but these guys I mean you know some were in their 40s and 50s oh brother right that's wonderful stuff and I'm saying are you a newly I'm thinking to myself for you and newlywed I mean most guys that are paying attention would learn some of this almost by accident if you're still living under the same roof and not killing each other every day oh praise God believe in stuff first ten again believe it's now not that I'm in the father and the father in me the words that I speak unto you I speak not of myself but the father that dwelleth in me he doeth the works believe me that I'm in the father and the father in me or else believe me for the very works fairly rarely I say unto you he that believeth on me the works that I do shall he do also it can I really truly put my trust in somebody I don't know I can say I believe in them but what am i believing in am i believing in the concept of a god or am i believing in God himself the word the word believe means to trust and rely on to cling to or can you really do that with somebody you don't know or is that really the reason why our walk with God is so inconsistent and unfulfilled because we're walking with someone we do not know verse 12 again verily verily I say unto you he that believeth on me the works that I do shall he do also and greater works than these shall he do because they go into my father and whatsoever you shall ask in my name that will I do that the father may be glorified in the son if you shall ask anything in my name I will do it if you love me keep my Commandments if you love me keep and it is if you fear me he say if you want to go to heaven he say if you don't want to go to hell he said if you love me keep my Commandments what is he saying here that to truly live the way the Lord wants us to live it has to be based on relationship I was talking to a brother the other day I remember some of you were here thank God you survived it I was shocked at many who didn't January 1991 beginning at about middle of January of 91 through the end of May I preached on knowing Jesus and relationship with Jesus every single service I was I did about this stuff what I wasn't hammering it from my opinion a negative I was trying to let people know what they could have and and you know this is what it was really all about I was shocked at some of the people that had been here so long and some of them were senior leadership who walked away because I did not know as their pastor that they were doing what they were doing because they were obeying me not because they knew Jesus and many of them had come from dysfunctional for a homes and they had made me without any discussion with me of course their father figure and so you know we kind of grew up together and we were God was doing all this awesome stuff and now all of a sudden I'm saying it doesn't matter how well you dot the i's and cross the t's if you don't know him it's not good enough and they walked away and this person said to me yeah and he named a particular person that that had started coming to church when he was 16 like almost all the way back in the beginning God loves me to this day loves me loves my wife but he says you know why he's not here because he's angry he's angry because people aren't being made to do what he was made to do he said the guy doesn't realize we don't believe in preached anything different today than we always have I said yeah but the approach is different and you may not work so well you may know something they're out there they're not coming because they're angry because they endured all of that they they submitted all that whatever and it changed and it's not the same anymore and it's not fair so they're bitter they're going to go to hell because we found a more scriptural method of communicating this stuff because the Lord showed us it's not about rules it's about relationship when I say it's not about rules what we believe is right and wrong didn't change it hasn't changed what we believe is separation unto God and not separates that isn't changed but all of that is supposed to be the product of a relationship not a relationship that because that's religion rule keeping is religion I've had people say to me well you know what you folk but you people preach is you know you know there's always what you people but they're looking at me but what you people preach is so restrictive well I hope you're not married or I wouldn't want to be in your marriage because let me tell you something right now there is nothing more restrictive than marriage oh lord have mercy rules oh they're not rules they're expectations you talk about shells and shalt nots marriage is full of shells and shell not people lined up to get married are you kidding me so God somehow has a problem and unrealistic problems that he expects Israel at your relationship with him it is with you to have the same concept because what are the restrictions all about just what it really is boil down to this it's it's just how you express that this is the person I've chosen and they've chosen me and we're committed to one another and everything else is secondary naturally speaking I love my sons I love my daughters I love my grandchildren I love all of them but I didn't take a vow to be a father or father-in-law or grandfather I didn't take a vow to do that I did not stand before God and vow to be a father or a father-in-law or a grandfather or a great-great grandfather or order I didn't take any vows to do that I did and I've done my best to continue to do my best to be a good dad and dad dad whatever but I promised this right now if I succeed or fail I did the best I could but that's not I'm not I don't mean that casually but the point I'm making is I didn't make a vow to do it I mean I realized that some people have children because they were trying to but most children are a product of a relationship being expressed biblically because if that was the case then there would be a plan mapped out okay procreate on this day and you will have a baby no you don't ever know what it worked I'm not trying to be with some of what some of y'all to watch you're giggling at this excuse me sorry because I'm not trying to be funny the very fact that he doesn't let us know when it worked proves that it's not first and foremost about procreation in fact in fact if you go to come on now it's right there I see it first Corinthians chapter 6 it says that we should not join the temple of God to a harlot we know what happens between a man and a harlot there's a physical intimate joining and then exist a couple of verses later it says he that is joined to the Lord is one spirit the word is the same word and it's the same idea because the Lord spirit comes into my spirit and we become one and God intends for this oneness to be there it's it's not everything the relationship is about but it's an expression of that intimacy that's why I've said all along the relationship of the branch to the vine it's not it's a different metaphor but it's still the same principle the relationship with the vine and the branch is what determines the fruit out here the focus is not on the fruit that's that so that's the result the focus is on the relationship if there if the connection is sound healthy hole correct fruits automatic this these are principles God isn't God as a God of principles and patterns these are eternal principles they're eternal principles children aren't the gold they're the byproduct of a relationship that's why that's why Hannah said give me children lest I die her rival who was her husband's other wife and thank God all that's different today I don't get too far off of that thank God the scripture says should be the husband of one wife hey man sister right you can close your mouth now yeah just as muscles contract okay I don't know how they did that in the Old Testament but one wife is having children which proves there was nothing wrong with the husband Hannah wasn't having anything there was no children but he was giving her everything he gave two I think there would be way you pronounce his name is Elkanah everything he gave to the first wife he gave to Hannah she got equal share even though she had no children and and and but she's fretting over the fact she didn't have any children and you can put all kind of reasons on that if you want to but bottom line it is the it's the the living proof of love now I realize it's children are born for a lot of different reasons as a product a lot of different coming together that's not right not whatever okay but bottom line if the Lord tarries and I pass from this life there's going to be two and then right now seven and new who knows how many of those seven are going to have that's going to be a proof that I loved my wife an eternal proof not just the natural proof because when that when that child came out of that womb it was the body was alive but when the breath of life entered that body as it after it was born it became a living soul none others would take away from the fact that bortion is wrong because that fetus is alive but that that fetus does not become a living soul till it breeds it is a body it is alive it is murder to take that life on purpose because it's inconvenient that's murder but that's not a living soul till it breeds it takes God's prayer entering into the body of a human for the soul to come into existence but once that happens that's an eternal thing because if that wasn't the case then two human beings could make any it could impact eternity without God's involvement no man and woman come together create the body just like God did with his fingers out of the dust of the earth in the garden but God coming into that child after it comes out of the womb that creates the living soul so not only is there a memorial to my wife to my love for my wife and hers for me because of two men who are living in this life now but their souls are eternal so our relationship has eternal memorials to it that's what it's about see that's what it's about and relationship is the basis for all of this and again there's no more restrictive relationship in this world than the husband wife relationship naturally speaking in this world it's restrictive I mean Jesus said in the Old Testament said thou shalt not commit adultery and in the Gospels he says if you look on a woman to lust after her in your heart you've committed adultery in the marriage it says don't look at all I don't care what's going on inside I don't care whether you're less than or not don't look now you tell me which is the most restrictive of those three you guys you stay still all you want but you know that's the expectation don't don't look it's restrictive but here's the problem if it was if marriage was just about rules then why that a woman is not satisfied just because you don't commit adultery well you should be happy I don't commit adultery and I don't look at women so you should be happy no no no there are other expectations I expect you to love me I expect you to cherish me etc etc etc no matter how well the negative expectations are met thou shalt not the marriage doesn't work if the positive expectations aren't met so therefore and I like the words expectations because it's not really a rule now some would like to make them laws but laws God made the laws but but there are expectations you know there is no law that says thou shalt take out the garbage God didn't say that but if you don't believe she's got that expectation but see mine is the most manipulative kind there is she never says take out the garbage she says I'll take it out that's what she said to me Wednesday I know you're sick so I'll take the garbage out she she knew good well she knew I would have to have IVs and everything else hooked up to me to let her take the garbage yeah I'll show you I'm taking the garbage up she sat back and just my work yeah it worked yeah now if she told me I don't care if you're sick get up take the garbage out now we got a different story here now that one is go work but I know you're sick and so just just just just I was sick just sit there it's okay I'll take care I think relationship its relationship okay let me I got to go on here no let me finish reading this verse 16 of chapter 14 John John 14:16 and I will pray the Father he shall give you another comforter that he may abide with you forever even the Spirit of Truth whom the world cannot receive because it seeth him not neither knoweth him but ye know him for he dwelleth with you and shall be in you I will not leave you excuse me I will not leave you comfortless and the Greek is there I will not leave you orphans I will come to you I will come to you yet a little while the world seeth me no more but you see me because I live you shall live also at that day you shall know that I'm in my father and ye and me and I knew either that command my Commandments and keepeth them he it is he that hath my Commandments and keepeth them he it is that loveth me and he that loveth me shall be loved of my father and I will love him and will manifest myself to him you see the relationship all here again whoever fears me will keep my no no no no I said this recently I think it was actually in the Men's Conference many many people come to God initially out of fear they don't want to go to hell they don't want to be lost etc etc etc and that's that's a valid reason to come to God but if you don't transition at some point the sooner the better in your coming to God from obeying God out of fear because the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom it's the beginning of knowledge by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil but that that's what gets you away from evil that that begins your wisdom and knowledge but there's got to be a transition here from from the the fear of the results of violating the word of God at cetera et cetera to doing this because you'll know him because you love him because you want to please him of course the old flesh rises up said well what I get out of that well bottom line is love is not what you get love is what you give and God is love he came out love God but if I'm serving God as a relay out of religion out of out of rule keeping I'm keeping rules here okay I'm serving God because I'm rule keeping and I'm a good religionist because I keep the rules I do the shells I don't do the shalt nots I'm sorry that doesn't have anything to do with know anything now let me say this quickly when a first for newt for children children obey you don't have to explain that you know kids that's why and you say because I say so that is valid parenting for children under 12 that's valid first of all I don't mean to be offensive but that very few kids under 12 even cook can understand the nuances of why this and that and I'm not trying to insult children I'm just simply saying I mean how do you explain to a five-year-old they shouldn't be playing to that nut with that knife and he explained that how do you get across to a child stop you almost stepped in that street without looking well I don't see anything you didn't look why why do this why don't do this why you can't you don't take the time to explain all that to a child that child has to learn how to obey but as a parent you understand if you have any hope of your child living the way that child should live once they're no longer a child at some point you better start giving some explanations as to why then better be some time spent where you sit down with that child and you begin to explint not not shaming the child but explain in the to the child why you live like that why you made those choices why this is positive and why this is negative there better be a point because let me tell you something you send them off to college not my child yeah famous last words of almost every parent there is not my child let me tell you something I don't think there's any one of us as a parent that would truly truly want to see or hear hear the thoughts of our 13 to 20 year old 24/7 and there's not one of us as a parent that would want to see the actions of our 13 to 20 year old 24/7 and I don't care who you are if you make this about rules and regulations and doing right and wrong and do it because I say so and this is the way we are and you've never taken the time to explain why and you can't do that one time and that's it take doing it one time well you up okay then I'll have a care group with my kids yeah right that works that really works that's not the way you do it you wait you watch your cents opportunities and the door opens then you walk through the door when it closes you stop and you keep watching and the door opens again and that it something comes up or a situation happens that they know about and you talk about that situation so you're not talking about them and you do that and and you do that until at some point in time which doesn't happen right away in fact usually it takes a lot longer than you'd ever hope it would at some point your values become their values at some point because you hear me right now you you can enforce rules but you can't enforce values you communicate the values and the why of those values and you pray hard and you do that often enough that hopefully at some point that child decides to take ownership of those values and make them their own let me tell you something the environment I graduated from high school on the 5th of June 1964 on the 30th of June not even a full month later in 1964 I got out of the car in the parking lot of the third wing of Bancroft Hall u.s. Naval Academy yes my mother hug my dad said goodbye and never lived at home again the rest of my life I didn't know that that they neither did they and you hear me the environment I walked into lock behind those walls with him having no way of knowing what I was doing and not doing whatever I was was going to come out I don't care what they were it doesn't matter what they are worth that's law I taught that that ship has sailed that's long since passed whatever I was was what I was going to live and not only that the pressure to fit in you you don't know peer pressure till you live with people like that every day 24 hours a day seven days a week you you don't know you don't know peer pressure and they and they get together in their groups then they're gonna go off and they invite you to go but you can't go because you know where they're going what they're gonna be doing so you stay home home you stay in your room I didn't stay in my room because I was afraid of my mom and dad finding out I stayed in that room because it was my values well I hadn't been there academic year hadn't started it was like October and it was time for us to be at brand-new Midshipmen you know you're being you're in for years you're gonna be by act of Congress an officer and two gentlemen and they're that being the officers side that's one thing but being a gentleman doesn't mean just saying hello and yes sir and thank you they expect that you know we we practiced we had formal dinners where we practiced how to have a formal dinner we dressed up to know Whitney I'm telling you the truth we had formal dinners where you practiced how to be in a formal setting what the manners were which fork to use which the knife spoon to use we practice all that we had a book on etiquette because when we left there we were supposed to be gentlemen and part of being a gentleman was learning how to dance ballroom let me so there were mandatory dance lessons I've got I've got the the letter to this day I wrote a I wrote a letter to my company officer and I explained that it was against my personal convictions to dance and that I felt so strongly about this that I'm requesting to be exempted from the dancing and if you if you choose not to I put this on the letter if you choose not to grant me the exemption this is my letter of resignation from the naval academy your choice balls in your court you either let me live by my convictions or I'm out of here I didn't write it in any way to judge anybody that danced it was me it was my personal convictions my personal faith and I put that on the line not because my mother said not because my preacher said and you know don't forget something here okay it wasn't easy to get in there and I had just gone through two months of plebe summer and and then you know the brigade is coming that's academic year starting meaning all the upperclassmen during the summer we outnumbered the upperclassmen 10 12 to 1 when the brigade got there we were going to be outnumbered three to one three of them to one of us and it was bad and I survived all of that and put all of that on the line by saying this is it this is my conviction well when I got it back my company officer had recommended rejecting my request my battalion officer recommended rejecting my request but when he got all the way up to the Commandant he said request granted every single person all the way up to him Henry ejected my request which meant I was out of there I didn't know that they just passed it up the chain of command but when he got to him I guess I had to be God I guess because he said okay well you know something right now I was actually in some ways the envious some guys because you guys didn't want to go to dancing lessons and of course of course we didn't dance with each other so they always I don't know where they got these girls from but there were girls that came to dance with us and these dancing classes and every one of them was looking to marry an officer they weren't there for the fellowship they were looking for a ring and a guaranteed lifestyle well I was spared all that so they were and we weren't allowed to date you couldn't date for the first year at all silk'n hate to my knowledge unless it's gotten really easy we couldn't date so here's what's up here was an opportunity not only to see a girl you're gonna hold her in your arms yeah first of all there was some guys didn't understand what was wrong with me out you must be crazy you don't want to do that no I don't want to do that I don't want to do that why well my thought to to them is are you stupid you see you and a homeless girl in your arms and feel nothing I don't need that my mother didn't sit me down every day and say thou shalt not dance thou shalt not dance thou shalt not dance thou shalt not dance she didn't do that with me she didn't do that with me but somewhere in that process something was put in here and I wouldn't care if every Pentecostal in the country if God suddenly spoke to the all the Pentecostal said you can now go to dances this was in me this is who I was I mean back then I had two roommates and both of them smoked I was raised in the house for the dad that smoked I did not smoke because I was afraid of going to hell I didn't smoke because they didn't want to because that became a part of me I didn't want to do that and and you gotta understand something let me tell you how long ago this was you think the standards I preach here are really restrictive I was on the student council in a large public high school in Prince George's County my senior year I was asked to chair the committee to write the dress code for the school that would be passed by the student council and then given to the school administration as our recommendation of what the dress code should be in the school that was never a committee meeting I wrote the dress code a Pentecostal in 1963 wrote the dress code for a public high school in Prince George's County I have never preached anything more restrictive in this church than that dress code and it passed unanimously by the student council and was wholehearted endorsed by the school administration and it became the dress code for the entire 2,000 member school high school 10th 11th and 12th grades Prince George's County Maryland 1963-64 okay so when I go to the Naval Academy less than less than 10 percent of those guys had ever smoked at all and probably more than that really didn't use profanity at all but the peer pressure was so great that within six months 90% of were smoking and probably 75% of them couldn't eat utter one single sentence without at least one or two swear words included that's what peer pressure does to a person that doesn't have values let me tell you something rules are one thing teach your children rules but you can't do that with your teenagers you'll blow it big time you got to put that in them you got to put the understanding in them till they buy the values has their own and if you don't do that well if you do a rule only thing without ever communicating the wise and and giving them a chance to accept your values or you go the other way and you don't do any rules because you don't want to be oppressive you want to play the good guy and the good girl do your kids you will live to regret it you will live to regret both those but you say well they're different no there's exactly the same thing the same spirit it's a safe spirit that no rules and the all rules is the spirit one of those has to do with raising a child hey I set out with my firstborn and continued with my second morning I set out to be their heroes no sports pictures of pictures some sports hero on the wall no rock musician on the wall I was going to be their hero I worked hard at being their hero I wanted to be their buddy but I was never willing to be their buddy to the point that I forfeited the responsibility and the honor of being their father I wasn't one or the other I was both and I tried to balance both of those out because I knew that they would come they would be on their own and it wasn't going to be the rules I preached to them that they were going to remember and it wasn't how much I was a great buddy that they were gonna remember that was going to affect their lives it was the values our relationship put in the communication of course if you don't have a wife or your and let me tell you the worst thing you can do well these are my rules because God says because the church says no no no the moment you do that you pull the god card out you stop parenting but but God says no no no leave that for the church you tell them why you believe what you believe not what they should believe but why you believe what you believe why you are who you are what your values are what you've taken personal ownership and people that are part of this church their kids don't have anything to do this you know why we tell you why oh they blame it on the church they blame on everybody else but let me tell you what the real reason is because the preacher and the people of the church were the meal breakfast lunch and dinner and from midnight snack constantly in front of the kids you know one particular man I'm thinking of he's got sons that won't have anything to do this nothing I love the guy he says he loves me but I promise you this I've never made a good decision in my life because every decision ever made was different than one he would have made it's wrong and he was very vocal about that I know that for a fact with his kids constantly about how wrong my decisions were so he constantly undermined the confidence of his kids in the preacher and then he brings him to church and he puts on this game like he's obeying and he wonders why his kids won't don't want to come to church you'll essentially kids to hell to talk about the preacher talk about the people in front of your kids do it and just do me a favor I don't want to see your tears when their casket is sitting there and you know they died in the lost condition because you put them there is that too strong no that's this watered down as I can see it you put them there you've heard my son's both my son say it from the pulpit we never my wife and I never negatively discuss this church and the people of this church in front of our sons we work together we were both in the ministry of this church there were some things we needed to talk about but we never badmouth the people of this church to our sons they grew up loving this church loving the people of this church because we wouldn't let it be any different than that that's not what I came to talk about today but it it works oh I'm frustrated you know what well I understand why you made this decision would you really like for me to explain to everybody why I made this decision and tell you tell everybody all the things I know this reason I made that decision because then when it comes to a decision it affects you then I'll have to tell everybody why I made the decision I made that affected you like that is that really what you want you really want to know all the whys I don't think you do let me tell you why this was said recently when God calls a man to shepherd people he gives that man grace to forget like he does because otherwise you'd stand here and look at people's face and you'd remember every bad thing you know about them where they were where they came from whatever you remember all the mistakes they made and you'd never have any confidence in them at all because they've made mistakes and they've done bad stuff and how do you do differently when you know all of that you know all of it but God gives the preacher grace to not keep that stuff in his head it's true that's why it would blow your mind how much stuff I've never said to my wife stuff I know I've never said to my wife things I know about people where they came from what stuff they've been involved with I've never told her anybody why because I got the grace of God to be able to love that person without it being a negative but if you're not the pastor you don't have that grace and so it's an issue for you that's why gossip whispering backbiting is such so negative because what does it do it communicates stuff about people that we shouldn't know the book says the book says okay the book says love covers a multitude of sins the moment I tell it to anybody now you understand that in our structure if I know something I have to make sure that Shepard over that person knows but I'm communicating it within that grace of God because I know they've got that grace but they're also responsible for being the primary person to deal with that but the moment I tell it without a solid biblical reason for communicating it and we need to pray for so-and-so because and then you give all the dirty details what hypocrisy is that so we go this far you know we but the moment I tell it I just uncovered it which proves I'm not loving Oh Lord okay a little further here we're to earnestly desire to know God Philippians 3:10 says that I may know him the power of his resurrection the Fellowship of his sufferings being made conformable unto his death first John 2 verse verses 3 through 5 first John 2:3 and hereby we do know that we know him if we keep his Commandments he that says I know him and keepeth not his Commandments as a liar and the truth is not in him but whoso keepeth his word in him barely as the love of God perfected hereby know we that we're in him and then first John 5 beginning with verse 18 first John 5 18 we know that whosoever is born of God sent it not but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself and that wicked one touches him not and we know that we are of God in the whole world lieth in wickedness and we know that the Son of God has come and has given us given us an understanding that we may know him that is true and we are in him that is true even in His Son Jesus Christ this is the true God and eternal life little children keep yourselves from idols the foundation of all law well let's read it mark chapter 12 verse 28 and one of the scribes came having heard him reasoning together perceiving that he had answered them well asked him which is the first commandment of all and jesus answered them the first of all the commandment says hear o Israel the Lord our God is one Lord thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart with all thy mind with all thy strength this is the first commandment the second is like namely this thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself there is none other commandment greater than these and the scribe said unto him well master thou has said the truth for there is one God and there is one and none other but he but and to love him with all the heart with all the understanding with all the soul with all the strength and to love his neighbor as himself is more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices and when Jesus saw that he answered discreetly he said unto Him thou art not far from the kingdom of God no man after that Durst ask any question and then the parallel passage Matthew chapter 22 in verse 36 Matthew 22 36 master which is the equus the great commandment of the law jesus said unto him thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart with all thy soul with all thy mind this is the first and Great Commandment and the second is like unto this like unto it thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself on these two Commandments hang all the law and the prophets what does he mean by that that if you separate his motive for making the laws from your keeping of the laws you accomplish nothing now again I'm not talking about children naturally our spiritual children those that haven't been saved very long that's that need to obey for their own protection until they get understanding till they get the opportunity to make this their own I believe in obedience and I believe that you have to obey even though you don't understand some things and that's important but there comes a point where that's got to change it's got to change Romans 13:8 oh no man anything but to love one another for that he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law for this thou shalt not commit adultery thou shalt not kill thou shalt not steal thou shalt not bear false witness thou shalt not covet and if there be any other commandment it is briefly comprehended in this saying namely thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself love worketh no ill to his neighbor therefore love is the fulfilling of the law Galatians 5 verses 13 beginning with verse 13 for brethren you have call you have been called unto Liberty only use not Liberty for an occasion to the flesh but by love serve one another for all the law is fulfilled in one word even in this thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself but if you bite into our one another take heed that you not be not consumed one of another James chapter 2 beginning with verse 8 if you fulfill the Royal law according to the scripture thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself you do well but if you have respect to persons who commit sin you commit sin and are and are convinced or convicted of the law as transgressors if you have respect to persons o Lord of Mercy where does that put most churches that are single culture single economic status single educational status where does that put churches that only love people that are in one particular group one click one demographic where does that put churches like that oh lord have mercy I realize you don't hear that so I take what anybody got an eraser I'll just erase the side of the word of God we'd be all right right no problem anybody got a racer we'll work on that really I mean let's take that out so you're not uncomfortable with that and we don't have to look at churches that that that that you know maybe preach the truth is acts 2:38 all there is to the truth I said is acts 2:38 all there is to the truth I like this one read it again if you fulfill the royal law according to Scripture thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself you do well but if you have respect to persons you commit sin and are convicted or King James has convinced the Greek word is convicted of the law as transgressors for whosoever shall keep the whole law and yet offend in one point he is guilty of all so you obey acts 2:38 you believe the oneness of God you dot all the i's cross all the t's of the rules of holiness and you come to church and you pay your tithe and you obey the preacher but you're prejudiced and I don't mean just racial prejudice prejudice there are people you don't like just because of the particular type person that is I must be honest with you I you walk the malls and here these kids are with all these tattoos and weird hairdos and all that stuff you know I'm glad my kids don't look like that I'm glad so far my grandchildren don't look like that but honestly okay but honestly the bottom line is this not not liking the way they look is one thing but not liking them you're kidding me right I mean we live in the world we live here this is it okay this is our world and you live in Maryland then you know how a Maryland voted and you hear me right now they will be coming here why not do I agree with the lifestyle no does that mean I'm not gonna love them no I'm not anybody's judge I just a preacher of the word you know what I need as much mercy as they do I need as much the blood of Jesus as they do the day you get so spiritual that you don't need the blood and the mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ you're lost just because you don't think you need the blood and mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ the day you get to the place you think every thought you have is right and everybody else is wrong I'm not worried about political correctness I'm not worried about what somebody thinks about me I have to answer to him and him only but what does he expect me to do love everybody I didn't I don't have nail prints in my hands I don't have any right to judge anybody I'm gonna live everybody I'm gonna preach the truth but I'm gonna love everybody when I was young and stupid there were times thankfully it was mostly when I was very young and stupid in the pulpit you know this is the way it is and there's the door if you don't like it well you know what I've been raised on that I'd been raised on that this is the way it is and if you don't like it please continue to sit here hopefully somewhere along the line the Lord Jesus Christ will help you that's why we cannot afford to try to lead everybody we love everybody we lead the hungry jesus did it jesus never one time told the crowd to leave if they left they left it because they didn't like what he said but he didn't say you don't like what I say leave he preached the crowd oh praise God let me move on here oh wow I got hurt alright the title of this lesson was biblical guidelines to relationship success let me just show you some guidelines Paul gave first Thessalonians chapter 5 15 these are guidelines this list of this just just bullet point guidelines I mean Paul believed bullet points before we ever heard bullet points look here bullet point guidelines you ready here we go 1st Thessalonians 5 15 see that none render evil for evil unto any man but every but ever follow that which is good both among yourselves and to all men get ready here he comes first 16 rejoice evermore verse 17 pray without ceasing verse 18 and everything give thanks for this as will of God Christ Jesus concerning you verse 19 quench not the spirit verse 20 despise not prophesying verse 21 prove all things hold fast that which is good verse 22 abstain from all appearance of evil and you do these bullet points here's what happens verse 23 and the very God of peace sanctify you wholly and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless under the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ so here we are I want to give you some biblically based guidelines that are superior to any rule I'm gonna just give them to you quickly and come back talk about them a little bit until my time is up because there's no way to talk about these too much I didn't read these in the book God gave these to me for me and these are the guidelines I tried to use for my personal relationship with Jesus first and foremost anything that I cannot pray while doing I should not be doing you say will you talk about I pray on the golf course I do honestly it's beautiful out there I I've always always loved to pray outside always love to pray outside I'm not going to get on the Golf Course if I can't pray now I realize that some things you might play I mean the pastor plays racquetball and it's a little hard to pray unless you God get that guy to my way so I get this shot I don't know if how he prays whatever he's doing I'm just simply saying if I can't pray while I'm doing it I shouldn't be doing it okay number two rule or guideline anything that I cannot bless the Lord while doing or that I cannot ask the Lord to bless me doing it I should not be doing anything that I cannot fellowship with the Lord while doing I should not be doing anything that undermines my sensitivity to his presence and his voice I should not be doing anything that does not spiritually edify myself and/or the body of Christ I should not be doing anything that disturbs my peace while I'm doing it I should not be doing and finally love is not what you get so loving someone means to find out what they like and don't like love and hate and give that to them in our actions attitudes and activities it's getting to know that person and pleasing them in that now here's the problem we have see here's the problem we have there's some of you are sitting here right now going Thatcher that means I can't do anything there's nothing I can do I I'm gonna live by that I can't do anything no that's not true I've watched a lot of movies I didn't have any problem fellowship and with the Lord while I was watching it now if I'm watching something where people are naked and doing stuff in the bed it's kind of hard to ask watch God to bless me watching that innit it didn't it really that's kind of hard to do innit if I'm watching a something that's this full of gratuitous violence it's kind of hard to ask God to bless me or to bless God while I watch that in it but I go a little bit farther if I'm playing a video game that's just full of killing you're you're gonna ask God to bless you while you try to kill these people on the street I'm not against video games really I mean I don't play them because I don't have enough time to get good enough and I'm not gonna play one if I'm I was just constantly get beat you remember that message couple of a year or so ago where the pastor realized the first the very first time he realized that Timothy let him win I tell you something right now okay he may not talk a lot but there's probably not a more competitive person in this building than the senior pastor yeah his brother is really really really really really close to that they got all that from their mother because I'm really laid-back now brother bar you and I have a history we don't need to talk about right now talk about that's all under the blood we love each other man that's all brother bar played for brother Staton's team and softball and he and I had some interesting times but needless to say we didn't really get to know each other very well in that situation did we our opinions of each other in that scenario was not positive I'm sure anyway so that means if you can't play softball with the right attitude you shouldn't be playing right it is you know that's what we always said all right this is we're playing softball cause it's fellowship fellowship yes fellowship all right as long as we're winning it's not fellowship we're not winning and then guys would come out they'd want to come play and maybe they weren't as good as most of the guys on the team and so they didn't get to play and they were upset well I understand why they'd be upset because they were told this was fellowship and they got out there they found out what about fellowship at all no no no no its fellowship you said all the mention fellowship with us because we're gonna win this game and we're afraid that if you go in the game you're not gonna help us when you go help us lose so fellowship with us will even give you a uniform while you sit on the seat I know it I'm very embarrassed that that's case but it's the case it's been the case probably still in the case Lord where was I hey you'd be surprised at the number of things you can do and meet all these guidelines because here's the bottom line really as a child of God as a child of God you set God aside and say I'm gonna go do this I'll pick you I'll see you when I get back now I'd love for my wife to go riding the cart with me she doesn't like to play golf I'd love her to go do that and I realized that there are times for me to play and she doesn't want to go that I have to say well I see when I get back but and that's that's necessary in natural relationships I mean I've gotten on airplanes many many times and had to leave her behind for whatever reason either her choice or not her choice but I can't do that with Jesus I don't want to do that with Jesus I don't need to do that with Jesus and if I have to do that with Jesus just so I can do what it is I want to do then don't don't don't question why it is your relationship with God is struggling let's let me read this oh this isn't in my notes Romans chapter 1 I want to start with verse 26 please I want to read it on the screen for this cause God gave them up to Gabe gave them up unto vile affections for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature next verse and likewise also the men leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another men with men working that which is unseemly and receiving in themselves the recompense of their error which was meet next verse and even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge God gave them over to a reprobate mind to do those things which are not convenient being filled with all unrighteousness fornication wickedness covetousness maliciousness full of envy murder debate deceit malignity whisperers backbiters haters of god despiteful proud boasters inventors of evil things disobedient to parents without understanding covenantbreakers without natural affection implacable unmerciful who knowing the judgment of God that they which commit such things are worthy of death not only do the same but have pleasure in them that do them when you take vicarious pleasure in people committing sin especially in your entertainment choices you have identified with that sin if you never participate in it yourself when you take the pleasure out of their sin because you identify with them in their sin you become guilty of their sin in the eyes of God vicarious sin bacteria is said on the flip side it's very much like I'm offended you're my friend you're my relative I tell you who so-and-so did to me and you take my offense you weren't the one offended but you vicariously become offended because I pass my offense alone to you we know that's biblical principle well let me taste something it is also biblical principle that if you're taking pleasure in people committing adultery and people committing fornication other vile acts if you're taking pleasure in that if that's your source of entertainment and pleasure then you are guilty of the sin it is not harmless well there's nothing left me to watch oh there's plenty to watch there's plenty of stuff to watch that is not that that's that that's not that's not made by Christians there's plenty of good stuff to watch but our flesh craves pleasure and if if we have enough restraint that we don't want to be take the risk of be being caught doing that then we just vicariously participate by watching someone else do it or using the remote control and having a figure on a screen do it for us I mean let's say there's a big big difference between playing Madden football and call the war the thing it bothers me is that Holy Ghost field people can participate in something like that and it not bother them you know what that tells me they didn't fail I failed oh I know that I don't care how you know Jesus picked twelve one of them was the devil I understand the fact that no matter how well it's presented and with whatever passion or faith you prevent it present it some are not going to choose not to do that that's not the point but they should be exceptions to the rule so therefore if I want to protect my piece I want to protect his presence in my life I don't want to I don't want to risk losing my piece or losing my sensitivity his presence or losing my sensitivity was voice some of you you came here from God let me tell you why you put too much garbage in there you've dulled your sensitivity it doesn't matter whether you're sitting around gossiping you know I sleep some people gossip oh isn't that terrible but in their heart of hearts I wish I could have done that but I'd never do that because I might get caught so they're telling the story negatively but in their heart of hearts they wish it was them they wish they'd experienced it so we passed that along vicariously we receive it vicariously these aren't the chosen shall not you understand what I'm saying there's just guidelines for a person who wants to walk with God can I say this to you if you figure out how to abide by those guidelines 24/7 and never ever ever violate them please come take the mic that's why they're guidelines you know it's it's one thing to do something wrong but have no idea you did something wrong it's another thing to do something wrong and no well I missed that one I missed the mark on that one that said I missed the mark on that one that's the point here you see I need the word in here because the word is a lamp unto my feet a light unto my path that's what the word does it shows me the way I should walk does that mean I'm always gonna walk exactly in that probably not but the point is I know the boundaries do I always speak to my wife kindly no do I always do everything I should do as eyes but no I don't but I want to know when I didn't I want something in here to tell me I didn't cherish her that's that's not cherishing her oh it's something in here to let me know you're not putting her first you're reacting like that because she didn't put you first that's not what love is love is putting someone else first regardless of what they do back it's not love to do something nice for somebody because of what you expect them to do back for you that's not love that 50/50 marriage mess that's a lie it's a lie okay I gave you 50% of me you give me 50% of you add cost neither one of us anything has it love is expensive and I don't mean dollars and cents love is expensive because it cost you everything I'm 44 plus years into my life out of 67 of spending all that time here is just that just less than two months it will be 45 years since the day I first met her and since that time it really hadn't been anybody else even though those first couple of weeks after we met I wasn't so sure about that because she was still 16 and I was too proud that's the story you've heard and I won't tell it again but the point I make it is I've been a one-woman man for 45 years 45 years 45 years for five not that's not nine that's four first digit nine the second digit okay four or five together four or five or free from your perspective four or five because that way it would be five four and got there yet one person one one woman for 45 years one how can that be well you can only define that as love oh I know some people have stayed together because whatever you know I don't believe in divorce so we're gonna stay together make each other miserable what that's I understand that I'm sorry for you but it's true you don't have grounds for divorce you better off staying together even if you make each other miserable but really the problem is this if I'm miserable in that relationship it's not my mates fault it's mine you know the only reason you're a person would be miserable in a relationship because they're so focused on what they're getting and not getting instead of what they're instead of loving their mate because love makes you happy not getting love given love it's more blessed too I'm paraphrasing now it's more blessed to love than it is to be loved but let's face facts we're all human beings so what is the what's the most common thing we do in a marriage we get all huffy when we're not getting what we expect we should get when it's not being done for us what we expect to be done well I got a problem if that's the basis for your love and your wife gets sick or your husband gets sick or they get severely injured and paralyzed and they're laying in the bed and they can't do a thing for you you walk away because they can't do anything not if you love them you walk away from that if you love him or what if they walk away from me that's fine but you can't hate him loves what you get not what you give how do I know that look at Jesus Lia what all he gives how little he gets back even from the best of us even from the most devoted of us look how little he gets back compared to what he gives he demonstrates love every day he died on the cross with no guarantee anybody would believe in him he hung on that cross gave his life died for us without any guarantee that anybody was going to value that sacrifice I mean he told the woman Satan's going bruiser you told Satan the woman's seed is gonna you're gonna bruise her heel and he's gonna bruise your head from that day forward all the way through Abraham Isaac Jacob all the way down to Joseph and Mary the Jews believed there was a messiah coming not just to save Israel but to save the world there was a messiah coming and yet he came and they cry crucify him because he didn't give them what they wanted oh praise God give it to you one more time I got a bunch of scriptures for each one of these but I'm not gonna when I get this finished those that are interested I'll make the notes available to you anything that I cannot pray while doing I should not be doing why the Bible says pray without ceasing if I get involved with something that I I'm not comfortable praying while I'm doing it I made a choice to stop praying he said well I don't pray 100 percent time no no no you're missing the point I have the Holy Ghost do you and my spirit and here's always communing with God but if I get involved with something that breaks that communion and that communication to pray without ceasing doesn't mean that I'm literally speaking out loud to God 24/7 because prayer is two-way communication it's two-way communication and that kind of fellowship and communication takes place on a different level in a different dimension than physical temporal communication but let me taste them you can volve your self with activities that that communication will stop and it won't restart till you repent anything that I cannot bless the Lord while doing or that I cannot ask the Lord to bless me doing it I should not be doing so you're sitting around with your friends male or female we ladies are together men together whatever and you're talking about somebody we're going to gossip let's that's the Lord to bless our session we're going to tell this tale let's ask the Lord to bless it that it will go as far as it needs to go know we inherently know the Holy Ghost in us lets us know that's not right but some of us are addicted and our mouths just won't stop they just they move on their own it's like somebody else is pulling the strings and it's somebody else's voice you know we're just the dummy somebody else has been trilha question we can't help ourselves anything that I cannot fellowship with the Lord while doing I should not be doing meaning anything that he's already said he wouldn't be identified with that I'm choosing to break my fellowship with him when I when I involved myself with it with that anything that undermines my sensitivity to his presence and his voice I should not be doing Matthew 13 and acts 28 both speak of those who were dull of hearing anything that does not spiritually edify myself and/or the body of Christ I should not be doing for instance smack-talking you know everything should be said unto edification do I do that perfectly of course I don't know I don't these are guidelines these are intended not only to guide my path but to let me know when I've left the path I'm really looking for I'm really looking for some navigation that they'll finally put in a car with a male voice you know I listen to my wife's voice I love her but there's no other woman saying to me turn here I just you know I just I'm you know no no I have at times just because I was frustrated turn a direction I wasn't supposed to go because I knew I could go that way get to where I wanted to go I know this is childish I'm just being really transparent here so and and and and and she says turn around at the next opportunity take your next left take the neck take this next left take this next left and then finally she says recalculating right not route and I said take that I'll show you who's in charge here it had happened very often but this happened once in a while I'm being really honest with you that's why I didn't bother me when you know that Apple was all concerned about Google Maps because they wouldn't let have turned by turn navigation give me a break you know I didn't need just give me the map show me the route that's that's fine with me won't somebody constantly telling me what to do like that I have a hard enough time let Jesus do that I'm not letting anybody else do it and I'm not talking about not being submitted I'm just talking about flesh here okay finally anything that disturbs my peace what I'm doing I should not be doing anything that disturbs my peace Psalms 34 14 says depart from evil to do good seek peace and pursue it Peter quoted that in first Peter 3:11 let him ask you evil and do good let him seek peace and ensue it and then Colossians 3:15 said and let the peace of God rule in your hearts to which also you're called in one body be thankful and the word rule there means to be an arbitrator a decision-maker let the peace of God be your decision maker if you're if you have peace and you're sensitive to your peace and you begin to open your mouth to say something that your peace will let you know stop no no your peace will do that if you're sensitive to it it'll do that if you if you look at something and you start watching something in and you didn't know it's like that your piece of and so you change turn it you push the button take the disc out you know but I rented that I bought that hey that's your test in it but I don't want to lose that money oh so you'll lose your soul so you don't lose 14 bucks you know you once you watch it how many times we ever bought a VHS tape of you I know some of you kids don't even know what a VHS tape is but a DVD or a blu-ray disc yeah it times ever bought one you watch it one time you put it on shelf it takes up space that's why I kind of like the bite out of the fruit guys Apple because if you if you if you buy something they keep it online you're not the store it point I'm trying to make is this if you're not willing to lose money don't buy it because she gonna lose money either way because it has to be really really really really good to watch it more than once really good to watch it more than once so the point again is somehow in here I have got to I got I gotta have peace I got to have peace so I seek peace and pursue it I got to have peace to let peace rule and this one is probably the easiest to follow of all of these guidelines because if you've got peace trust me right now your peace will react instantly when you begin to very from the path and if I just follow my peace I will stay in fellowship I'll grow I won't I won't carry around a lot of guilt and whatever I just followed my peace now I can tell my peace no do it anyway but whatever and then finally love is what you give not what you get so loving someone means that you want to find out what they like and don't like what they love and what they hate and you can you you live your actions your attitudes your activities a relation relating them applies to that now I've used this simple example so many times and I'm not trying to bore you with it I'm just it's just a very neutral but very clear example I know what I look like and I know the assumption is that people that are overweight eat a large volume of food but I promise you right now there's probably not not a fourth of this group sitting here today that eats less and food volume than I do on a net on a daily basis my problem is lack of activity and what I do eat is very high calories cookies okay so I went all day yesterday I didn't eat anything till about six o'clock except I worked on one of those Nutter Butter wafer packages until I finished it off just not not at one time that's just what ain't throughout the day you see you it's your problem sorry you know keep your judgment to yourself that's your problem I could care less your attitudes not gonna take me cause me to go home and take that fresh bag that she bought I never buy him and Sango causes me to going to throw that in the trash so just keep it to yourself okay all right I can't help you go through life never tasting anything you like anyway that's all ate all day volume wise I never felt full but I ate enough of that that I just kind of kept my energy level up because I have low blood sugar and I've learned to do that and that may not be the best way to handle it but that's the way I handle it and so if I don't get me a little something sweet now long through the day something with some carbs I get shakes so a low carb diet for me is a casket I'm not joking my blood sugar drops and I could go in a coma I can't function so that's the way I do so I don't eat a lot of food I just eat the high calorie stuff and I know when my wife is really really really under pressure and she's got some things she's planning to do right now so she says a would be okay if I run get us a hamburger I'm thinking boy go get us a hammer okay that's gonna be on the menu the marriage supper of the Lamb hamburgers yeah it's got to be it's got to be I don't know probably not but I just want to make sure I eat my last hamburger for the rapture get my last taste of hamburger so I have to keep up see just in case the rapture takes place sometime today but I know when she does that that she is she's got a lot of owner and so she's just but you know I can eat and I could eat sandwiches for dinner every day I can't do that sorry that's you That's not me that's this is me I have very very very very very very very easy to please tastebuds I don't don't demand anything fancy or whatever so therefore 99.999% of the time when it comes to a place to eat if we are rushed and have to get something to eat rather than her fixin at home I don't suggest a hamburger place if she brings it up then I'll go eat there but I don't do that why because I'm afraid she'll reject me no because I know that's not her choice of food I'm happy to do that it's not some big sacrifice on me I know how she likes to eat and I know that any time she doesn't eat like she prefers to eat it's because we have other priorities that have so filled our time there really isn't a time an opportunity for us to do that and you know people come say well I know you're busy well what do you want me to do sit around and do absolutely nothing waiting for your call I'm busy that doesn't mean I'm too busy for you but I'm busy busy she's busy she's busy er than I am shoes she never rests I get exhausted watching her sometimes so I know that when she says would it be okay if we just have soup and sandwich I love super sandwich I love it what kind of sandwich how do you really care as long as it's not exotic peanut butter and jelly grilled cheese that's fine ham and cheese sandwiches banana sandwich it doesn't really matter I just love sandwiches that's fine I really love sandwiches hamburgers my favorite bottle of sandwiches I could eat like that she didn't ever have to apologize to me for that so I know when she's doing that she's you know she's got a lot of load on her cuz that's not her choice of eating no no no no no no it's not her choice she likes all that stuff I eat it it's not that I dislike it but you know and I enjoy the fact she fixes me a really really really nice meal and her cooking is my favorite cook in the whole world but the bottom line is and I know this is simple in you're sick of hearing it but the bottom line is I do not resent the fact that if it's her choice and we have the time we're either gonna sit down to a full meal at home full meal two three four vegetables some kind of fresh break baked biscuit or cornbread muffin or something yes I didn't said it's like that now come on come on I said you know it's we don't have iced tea and it's gonna be some kind of dessert there may be some fruit or salad and I always eat myself at last if I eat it because I don't want to waste any good room on that stuff so if I got room left over I'll eat minute salad and i whether you like it or not I'm being very serious that's exactly how salad is last if I eat it and sometimes it's last after my dessert if I eat it that's just me not recommending that to anybody it's just me and I'm too old I don't want to change and I can go to heaven just like this so the point again being and here's the point the point being that to me and it is to me it's a waste of time sit down in a restaurant just me it's a waste of time my stomach just wants something in it and it stays so short a time in my mouth as long as I'm full when I'm when it's over with and it doesn't make me sick but I enjoy I hear listen to me now I enjoy enjoy going to a restaurant and eating whether it's Applebee's or Cracker Barrell or Stoney River or Chevy's or what it doesn't really matter I enjoy because she enjoys it I enjoy that because she enjoys it and it therefore it is not a sacrifice to me it is not something I don't want to do because I'm doing it for her and sitting across that table from her and not pouting because we're sitting there and enjoying myself you know what I'm doing that everyone when I'm sitting there I love you I love you I love you I'm saying I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I'm sitting here with you enjoying myself in this situation it's not my preference because I love you and that's ultimately what relationship is about so when I find out what Jesus likes and dislikes what he loves and what he hates I want to do that which pleases him not because it's a rule not because I'm religious that I'm keeping a religious rule I'm doing it because I love him and I want to please him because that's what love does praise God I will share these notes with you when I get them all finished up there's several of these I want to study a lot more depth because they are I it is titled biblical based guidelines for relationship success and I want to make sure there's plenty of Bible backing up the fact that these are not my opinions okay we're done thank you for coming

Channel: Apostolic Iron

Views: 1,864

Rating: 4.8139534 out of 5

Keywords: Apostolic, Apostolic Iron, Jesus, Prayer, Pray, Praying, C.M. Wright, Bishop Wright, Pentecost, Pentecostal, UPCI, Call To War, God, Lord, Preaching, Apostolic Preaching

Id: xafY5s7fNe0

Length: 113min 13sec (6793 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 12 2018