Better to Marry Than to Burn With Passion? - Ask Pastor Tim

okay I have two things that I want to deal with tonight and I don't know we'll see if we get to both of them it's okay if we don't I'll just tell you what they are one is one is actually something that I I keep hearing being brought up and I keep hearing discussed among singles and in fact just in the last few days I have heard this text referred to and quoted and because we have a lot of singles here I want to touch on it now I write I recognize that it is a topic that may not be suitable for the youngest people but hopefully our conversation will be cloaked enough that it will be suitable but I want us to look at first Corinthians chapter 7 first Corinthians chapter 7 I hear this quoted by singles and I hear a case made from it sometimes by singles and so I was discussing this with my wife the other day and she said that sounds like a good apt and I thought you know what maybe that's right maybe that should be something we look at the first time we all gather back together but first Corinthians chapter 7 now I I want to just hit the issue right off and get past all my bookmarks okay first Corinthians chapter 7 the passage that I am most concerned about is verse 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry fer it is better to marry than to burn with passion and I guess I'll just come right out and say my big concern is that there are people who including people within our own church that basically look at that passage as though marriage is the solution if there's failure maybe even massive failure as far as sexual integrity and sexual purity and that this would be a text to apply to that kind of failure fall sin impurity in the life of the believer and I I guess I am hearing that text propagated hmm I mean I don't want to say necessarily throughout the church but I do hear it being used as a motivational verse for young men who probably would have to admit that they're failing miserably when it comes to sexual purity and they latch on to this and they basically become convinced that what is really needed in their life if they're going to have victory is that girl comes along and is willing to marry them and then they'll be rescued from all of their problems anyways what I want to do is I just want to kind of follow Paul's talk its words and I want us to watch the case that he's building and I want us to think and I want us to talk especially because we do have a lot of singles typically that come to this Bible study and there are here tonight as well so I want us to I want us to talk through this so 1st Corinthians 7 does anybody here read the King James Bible so are you a caged KJV only guy okay I cut my teeth on the King James Bible for probably the better part of the first 10 years of my Christian life one of the things that in fact read verse 1 from the KJV yeah 7 1 okay that can sound like basically when I read the KJV when I first began reading it that can sound like Paul is saying that it's good not to touch a woman and in fact if you look further on you will find that he does commend singleness so you might put that together that while he's saying it's good not to touch a woman I think that the newer translations are correct when they actually put it is good for a man not to touch the idea is have sexual role nations with a woman they put it in quotation marks because one of the things that you will recognize very quickly about first Corinthians is that Paul is responding to things that they wrote to him about we could look at different examples but I don't want to get sidetracked basically what they have done is they have wrote to Paul in somebody in their midst is saying celibacy is the way to please God it's good not to touch a woman sexually that is better in this Christian life there's there's some advantage to that and so what he is saying is now concerning the matters about which you wrote semicolon and then here it is it's good that this is what they were asking about this is what they were this is this is what they were postulating it's good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman now that is something that has a tendency to appear religious and even righteous obviously the Catholics have run with it obviously now we know this from first Timothy demons tend to set that forth but you can imagine how the Corinthians might have thought this if you think about some of the most prominent men in the lives of the Corinthians the Lord Jesus Christ was single the Apostle Paul was single Paul himself said Barnabas was single these guys may have looked at some of the key and principle men behind Christianity and recognized hey they're single maybe there's something to that I don't know where their thoughts were coming from all we know is they had them all we know is they were writing to Paul and they were looking for clarity on these things and so here's how Paul answers because of the temptation to sexual immorality so he's recognizing that's a that's a reality Christians are not delivered from the temptation to sexual immorality there is that reality it is a real temptation it poses a threat and because of that temptation each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband now that almost seems like a universal statement right there if we just stopped right there but we know Paul doesn't stop right there but that's a very that's a very overarching statement because of this temptation to sexual immorality listen to the question they're asking is it good and I think what was happening is not only did you have people asking the question who may have been single but you probably also had people asking the question who were already married because one of the things that he's going to tell them is that they shouldn't be leaving spouses even if those spouses are unbelievers and so I think the question really was there in their minds where does marriage fit into Christianity where does sexual contact fit into Christianity is it necessarily good to avoid these things and he says no here's the reality there's a temptation to sexual immorality so men should have their wise women should have their husbands and then here's the thing if if they're married the husband should give his wife her conjugal rights likewise the wife to her husband so basically what Paul is saying within the context of marriage this is a good thing sexual relationships are a good and in fact necessary because of the temptation to sexual immorality for the wife first for the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does I mean there's basically a mutual submission and surrender of the body in marriage and then he says in verse 5 do not deprive well if you look back up at 6 8 same words up there defraud in fact I believe your king james bible says in verse 5 don't defraud so deprive is one thing defraud is another thing are depriving and defraud synonyms anyway you get the idea that deprive is probably a fitting word but what is defraud bring in what does that sound like deceit not I don't I mean maybe but cheating yeah you're cheating somebody out of something you're defrauding somebody in other words that's a part of marriage and if somebody is not surrendering themselves to their partner in marriage they're cheating that person yeah that's a that's a good synonym for defraud to cheat it doesn't mean they're cheating on them there it means they're cheating them out of what is their right in this conjugal relationship do not defraud one another or deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourselves to prayer so I mean Paul recognizes that there may be other priorities in life that your walk with the Lord may take priority there may be times but you can tell it's just for a limited time what what Paul is really making a case for here is if you're married this is a very good thing this is a very protective thing this is something that is necessary lest you defraud the other person perhaps for a limited amount of time you might stand you might stay apart but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control now isn't that interesting your lack of self-control so that Satan may not tempt you because if your lack of self-control and I find this very interesting because when it comes to the family situation in Ephesians 4 it's we're told not to give place to the devil and that is very closely tied to the statements about anger and not letting the Sun go down on your anger you know we could apply that to the family unquestionably we could we could tie that to the family even though it's not specifically family oriented in Ephesians 4 it is here it's like if there's if we're looking for one thing that God says very specifically we'll invite the double into the family it's right here now what's what's interesting about this is Satan is involved satan's active and satan's watching this satan is very very involved in sexual immorality and in the sexual activity in marriage and I mean if you think about think about what's perhaps said right before this I mean if you go back to first Corinthians chapter 6 verse 12 all things are lawful for me now see that's in quotation marks this seems to be something else that the Corinthians were saying well everything's you know what they were saying everything's lawful and foods meant for the stomach and stomach for the food verse 13 well you know what they meant by that you know what that saying alluded to food is meant for the stomach stomach for food in other words well God created our bodies for sex and that it's like they're taking a very carnal statement and they're using it not just to describe food they're using it to describe sexual activity you can see that God will destroy both thorn and the other the body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body why go back up there well here's the thing Satan his great strategy when it comes to sex is to do everything he possibly can do to encourage sex outside marriage but then he does everything to discourage sex from inside marriage and we see the two extremes here on the one isn't this amazing the same Corinthians are saying food for the body body for food let's go up to the temple and enjoy ourselves the same church is saying we don't think we should probably remain married I mean is that amazed and that amazing jump over here Paul's having to rebuke these people for sex with prostitutes in seven he has to turn around and say you need to have it within marriage I mean you can see the two extremes The Satanic strategy here well verse six now as a concession not a command I say this so verses one through five he basically lays it out every man should have his wife every wife should have her man but he's going to give a concession it's not a command but he's gonna give his opinion here and this this is under inspiration I wish that all whereas I myself am but now notice this each has his own gift from God one of one kind in one of another well that's interesting we often talk about the gift of singleness but did you notice here he's not talking about a single gift he's not talking simply about the gift of singleness he says each one has his own gift that means every Christian has his own gift when it comes to singleness or not did you see that one of one kind in one of another in other words he's not talking about one kind of gift here he's not simply talking about the gift of I think oftentimes when gift is mentioned there people immediately say oh a gift of singleness I don't have the gift of singleness what he's talking about here is one person has one gift and another person has another gift why am i pointing that out well because I'm afraid this happens somebody says well I don't have the gift of singleness almost like that's justification for sexual immorality to view garbage on the internet or somehow fall into some sexual immorality and say well I don't have the gift of singleness and so well it's better for me to marry than burn with this past passion and be all locked into this lack of self-control but wait a second if you're a Christian God says you either have one gift or you have another gift one of one kind one of another I mean it seems that both singleness and marriage are regarded as gifts but I would just what's my point here nobody is gifted for sexual immorality that is not a gift that is not something God gives you God doesn't give you sexual immorality that is not a gift that is not God given that that is what Paul is condemning over in 6/8 he is saying that if you join yourself with a prostitute you become one body with her he says flee from this every other cent a person commits is outside the body this is sin but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body do you not know that your body is a temple the Holy Spirit within you whom you have from God you're not your own you were bought with a price I just want I mean this this should be evident that no one is gifted for sexual immorality now watch what he says to the unmarried and the widows obviously he's he's not excluding widowers and obviously widows are unmarried but the unmarried is basically a term for those who were never married they're single the widow or widower is somebody who was married but they're no longer married and Paul says I have a word for you it's good to remain single as I am Paul sees something good in it now obviously he's going to develop that but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry and Paul's not gonna forbid marriage and he doesn't forbid marriage anywhere through here remember forbidding to marry is a doctrine of demons but he says if if they cannot in other words if you're single and you cannot exercise self-control you should marry for it's better to marry than to burn with passion now I want to jump in here and just point out let's let's attack this verse nine a little bit now eight it's to the unmarried and the widow now I have heard verse nine I've heard it said that verse nine is that that it's I've actually heard it said that it's applied to somebody who has like a fiance or somebody that's already in a relationship or somebody somebody that already has a betrothed and I guess the only reason that I can imagine that people apply it that narrowly is because if you go down further in 1st Corinthians 7 you will find in verse 36 if anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed that's what the ESV says but it's the word virgin toward his virgin if his passions are strong and it has to be let him do as he wishes let them marry it is no sin now this may be speaking about the guy or it may be speaking about the girl if anyone thinks he is not and this is the father of the virgin if anyone thinks that he the father is not behaving properly toward his virgin daughter if her passions are strong and it has to be let her do as he wishes or let the father do as he wishes let them marry it is no sin now there's there's there's not really a textual issue here there's just an interpretive challenge people are trying to figure out well who exactly and one of the things is that that in the original it's hard to tell whether these pronouns ought to be or whether they ought to be female and so anyways if you go all the way down to 36 you can say yes there is a possibility that now it very likely is speaking about the father but there is some reason to think that perhaps verse 38 so then he who marries his virgin does well he refrains from marriage will do even better so there is some question is this actually the guy who's wanting to marry or is this the father that's where the question comes in but but anyway the reason that verse 9 would seem to resonate with people as possibly being I've I've heard it expressed to me you know somebody like Jim Elliot when when he was kind of engaged to Elizabeth Elliot and he was thinking about and their relationship was growing and I've heard it applied to situations and narrowly applied and I've heard that if you try to take it more broadly than that it's it's almost felt like it's a misuse of the verse well honestly I'm not gonna go there because for two reasons primarily one verse 36 is a long way away and I don't think when he states verse 9 he's expecting us to anticipate that all the way in verse 36 we're gonna get some new light on the situation that's gonna cause us to sit back and say all he didn't mean everybody that's single he just meant if you happen to be engaged or have be in a betrothal situation or something like that and you can see the ESV even runs with that idea of betrothal down there but I would say wait we need to apply verse 9 to the immediate context and who would that be applied to verse 8 to the unmarried in the widow's I mean that's to all of them that's who he's speaking to that's what it says to the unmarried and the widow to those who have never been married or those who have been married in their spouses died he is saying if you're not able to stay single then get married it's better to marry than to burn with passion now here's where I want to interject the idea of not exercising self-control or burning with passion I what I am hearing is this verse basically almost used as an excuse for sexual failure and that the person with the sexual failure is basically being given this right to marry here or even a command to marry or a strong encouragement to marry but that that is such a contradictory kind of thinking I would just say this why do men let's just let's think of a man let's say but let me give you an example here's a young man he gets married maybe when he was lost he struggled with all manner of sexual sin but God has saved him and a battle ensues and over a year or two or three God gives this young man victory in this area maybe he goes three years four years living basically in victory and then he marries why did he marry well he would say I didn't have the gift of singleness and so basically what he's saying is I didn't feel like I could I didn't feel like I was in a place where I was gifted to exercise self-control for my entire life you see that would be an appropriate way to look at a man saying I don't have the self-control to live my whole life well wait you've lived the last three or four years with victory well yes but that doesn't equal the gift of singleness and the man goes on in marries you see if we're expected to believe that well this can just as well apply to a person who cannot exercise self-control and the cannot is because they're not they're viewing pornography all the time they're falling into all sorts of sexual sin all the time I would just say this wait a second don't we need to stop and actually look at this from another angle I have daughters I want my daughters to marry godly men should we expect that if a young lady is Christian and single and a guy comes along and he's like well I can't exercise self-control and what he means by it is he's miserably failing in sexual sin all the time he's viewing things on the internet he ought not to be viewing and he comes along and says I can't exercise self-control and I need to marry you because it's better for me to marry you than to burn with passion and basically I'm burning and I'm failing and this thing has mastery over me do you expect that girl to marry that guy I mean is that even is that even I mean shouldn't we stop and think wait doesn't the Bible give us characteristics of a good husband doesn't the Bible give us characteristics of a good wife should I simply abandon all that should I come along as a guy if I was single and marry a girl who's miserably failing in this air which she takes me to this passage well I I can't exercise self-control which look at my life I have no self-control I mean do you think Paul is basically saying here well girls go look for a guy that can't exercise self-control and is miserably failing all the time and you should just marry him to deliver him from this burn of passion that he has or do you think Paul would actually say to you you ought to find a young man who's godly and who's christ-like you see I know we don't want to miss read this we don't want to we don't want to assume here that somehow Paul is is basically accepting this idea that men without the gift of singleness run around unable to exercise self-control and what he means by that is their miserably failing and doing all the things which he's telling men to flee and women to flee from back in 612 through 20 he calls it sin back there 18 flee from sexual immorality every other sin or every sin a person commits is outside the body but this sin the sin of sexual the sexually immoral person sins against his own body it's sin I mean I think that one of the things that we really have to be honest about is should we expect that young men and young women that are single in the church are going to look for people who lack self-control and and I was I was just expressing to somebody recently that in my um in February it will be twenty years since I was ordained and I have wracked my brain to think in 20 years I have seen in twenty years I've been involved in marrying a lot of men and women and I've done me pre-marriage counseling and I've known people's lives and I've I've been pastoring long enough that I have seen people married and then watched them over five years 10 years 15 years and I have I have racked my brain to think of a single instance where the man had victory pronounced victory in his life in this area and then when in got married that the marriage hasn't been yellow there's been problems but it's been a good marriage and I've racked my brain to think of any marriage that I can think of where the man lacks self-control right up until the time he got married that the marriage was good it was I mean I've really tried to think because I have and one of the reasons that I've really wracked my mind at this is because I have asked my self the question of verse 9 that when we as pastors come across somebody in the church who's miserably failing in this area whether marriage is something God gives to rescue the person out of that situation and what I have seen and I'll say this girls if you marry a guy that does not have self-control in this area I can't think of a single example where the marriage has turned out well because that guy going into marriage with no self-control will continue in that marriage self-control is not something that just touches the sexual area of a man's life it touches that man in many other areas and if he can't control his sexual appetites I guarantee you he can't control himself in other areas as well and it will come out in numerous ways it will come out and he can't control his money he can't control his appetite he can't control his anger and just because a man with sexually immoral lack of self-control gets married doesn't mean that that cures him he may go on lusting after other women and searching the internet afterwards which which happens and I've wracked my mind because I've really tried to think pastoral e is this a way to rescue and you know what I become convinced I become convinced that if there's a young man or an older man who does not have his life together in this area I would never encourage a Christian woman to marry a guy that does not have self-control in this area and I think to take verse 9 and to put a spin on it to say well I burn with passion and I'm failing all the time and so what God is telling me is to get married well you can say that you can believe that you can believe that God is telling you that but I would ask you this is God not telling the young woman to have wisdom and discernment and who she marries and should she run right out and marry a guy who lacks self-control in this area and expect that suddenly magically he's going to get fixed see I think I think what's happening is if if that is the expectation that a guy has then what that guy is also doing is he's expecting women to lay aside all discernment on who they select for a wife I you women should look not for the perfect guy but for a good guy for a guy that it's evident that God's hand is on him and I think one of the ways that you can tell if God's hand is on a guy is there will be significant success and victory in this area I really believe it I really believe that it is listen self-control is one of the fruits of the spirit and sexual immorality the sexually immoral don't inherit the kingdom you know what you're basically doing if you're a guy and you think you can be sexually immoral and use this verse to try to convince yourself that you ought to get married you're you you basically are assuming that a girl ought to go ahead and marry you when actually what is consistently and habitually characteristic of your life is that which is characteristic of people who don't inherit the kingdom I would not recommend any of my daughter's marry such a guy not ever no way why because fornicators and adulterers don't inherit the kingdom of heaven and if a man does not have the ability to gouge that eye out or chop that hand off what Jesus is saying is not just that he shouldn't have a wife he's not gonna have life so anyway that's that's what I I'm concerned that that text is being thrown around especially among the single young men in our church and especially among some that I know are not having so much success in being victorious in this area of their lives and I I think that I think that is a wrong twisting of that passage Paul certainly is not you can tell by the context he certainly is not condoning in any way that people fail to glorify God in their body they're bought with a price and so when he comes over here and he's talking about people that cannot exercise self-control he's talking about people who not who are miserably failing but people who simply have a gift that is of one kind rather than the other it's never is it never is one gifted for sexual immorality the idea here is some people have gift of singleness some people have the gift to be married and the way you can tell if you don't have the gift of singleness is you're not content you're not you're your level of passion your level of desire there's there's not an ability to remain content in that single state there's a there's a temptation on your self-control that's strong and I think that that is one of the greatest evidences that you don't have the gift of singleness is that you're not you're not content you're not at peace being single I don't believe that we ever want to take that passage and say well the indication that I don't have the gift of singleness is that I'm failing and falling and lacking self-control to the point of basically living a life of sexual immorality because it is first Corinthians chapter 6 I mean you know you go right back before this flee sexual immorality section in 6 12 through 20 if you go back to first Corinthians 6:9 you know do you not know the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God don't do not be deceived neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers know men who practice homosexuality not thieves not the greedy drunkards revilers swindlers would inherit the kingdom of God Paul certainly is not condoning that the women in the church the virgin women in the church line up to marry men who who fit that description no way no how does that what verse 9 of chapter 7 means any comments questions discussion well to burn is obviously to feel to feel the pole to feel the temptation to feel the I I mean sexual temptation is it's an appetite it's a draw it's a I mean it's something that most everyone of us have experienced and I think that's what that burn is the the burn is basically a a way of describing I'm not thinking that if somebody has a gift of singleness that that means that they're like just totally neutral I don't think it necessarily means that I don't think it necessarily means that the guy with the gift of singleness or a girl with the gift of singleness couldn't look at somebody of the opposite sex and be attracted to them or even feel at times like marriage may have significant things to offer but when it's all said and done they can run I think the thing that we have to ask ourselves is this because he goes on to develop this the the real issue is this you know if you're all still there look look what he says further down he says he says [Music] verse 26 I think that in view of the present distress it's good for a person to remain as he is are you bound a wife to not seek to be free are you free from a wife do not seek a wife if you do marry you've not sinned and if a virgin marries she is not sinned yet those who marry will have worldly troubles and I would spare you that and so this is what I mean brothers the appointed time has grown very short from now on let those who have wives lives is still they had none those who mourn I mean basically he's saying marriage maybe distraction he goes on to say those who mourn I mean sorrow may be a distraction joy may be a distraction commerce the world I mean the idea is don't let these things so dominate you that you're pulled away from there the real objective in life because what's the point verse 32 I want you to be free from anxieties the unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord how to please the Lord this has to do with distractions it has to do with anxieties and I would I would just say this when we are talking about the word burn what it seems to indicate is this that if if I'm going to be more distracted and anxious being single than get married but if it doesn't mean that the gift of singleness I don't believe the gift of singleness is simply being able to serve the lord better single I think that's what the gift is that God is so wired you not that not that you couldn't possibly desire some things about marriage not that you couldn't possibly admire some things about you know those of the opposite sex even at times maybe feel like you know the intimacy would be nice and that closeness would be nice and the communication would be nice and the other aspects of marriage just having each other there and being able to depend on one another--and and there's there's lots of aspects about it that I'm sure could be appealing to somebody but I think in the end the issue is this I mean I I can tell you is one who when God first saved me I prayed that God would give me the gift of singleness because I wanted to serve Him I was just I wanted to serve Him but it was a distraction to me to be single and I found that it was a bigger distraction to me and it proved true that distraction was it was much better for me to be married than to remain single I didn't have that gift it's like the more I prayed for that gift the less I recognized I had that yet but I think in you you want to measure it by the level of a anxiety I think I think that's where the burn comes in I think it the idea is and remember that burn is associated with passion what's passion desire I mean if somebody is in a place where they are not more free and less anxious to serve the Lord single well if such desires exist in their life that they feel like they're gonna face lesser anxiety lesser distraction to get married I think it we have to think that Paul is talking about one has one kind of gift and one has another and he clearly isn't talking about like gifts of tongue and gifts of prophecy right here he's very specifically talking about gifts of singleness or the gift of marriage now somebody could say what about you know somebody who lives in that grey zone who doesn't have the gift of singleness but God also hasn't given the gift of a spouse and I recognize that there there is such a state and I would just say this that yes there is a state me it's you know many of God's people who get married are married after they have been a Christian for some time and so there was a period of time in there there's some that gets saved when they're already married but there are a lot of people they get saved before they're married and so there's this period in there where they want to be married but they're not yet married but the reality is God puts lots of his people in that situation and we would say this that certainly there's no circumstances that have overtaken any of God's people that God doesn't give sufficient grace and giveaway out where sin is never a necessity ever God always gives a way out and God gives grace and God gives grace for the situation and he knows the situation and he knows how long he intends to put people in that situation who don't have the gift of singleness but before they get the gift of a spouse I mean that he designs that and for some it's shorter and for some it's longer but I but I'll tell you this that if a guy is a professing Christian or if a girl's a professing Christian and they come along and they're miserably failing in the area of sexual immorality that is not a way to shorten that period of time because I I mean I'd let James speak for himself but I will never encourage any young lady to marry a man who is failing in this area I will not encourage that and I think most young ladies would not be open to that possibility I mean James you can yeah and that's years into the marriage and that's what the sexual sin against this why well and and the reality is that back up in first Corinthians 6:9 when you find that people people who basically have a life that's characterized by sexual immorality that's not the kind of person that a godly girl should be desiring to find in a husband because what the guy is doing is he is demonstrating a life that makes it very questionable whether he knows the Lord and certainly if there's any nightmare that facing a girl it's not just marrying a guy and then find out that he lacks self-control when it comes to sex it's becoming face-to-face with I married a lost guy I mean I'm thinking that I'm thinking that that's what whether you're a guy or a girl I'm thinking that that's one of the one of the things that you would want to ascertain more than anything else that if you're marrying you're marrying somebody who's walking with the Lord and talking with the Lord and growing in the Lord and showing evidences that the Spirit of God that the fruit of the Spirit is being manifest in this person's life any other comments on that I was saved when I was 25 got married right before I turned 29 oh I felt like I experienced miraculous demonstrations of the grace of God in my life I mean bitter all-out battle but definite definite help and definite victory and I mean marked like yeah they're very manifest victory and then in the year he felt like how would you counter that young lady who's trying to when you say he fell are you talking a one-time thing or are you talking he he is now in a habitual state yeah well I mean one time is one time is davidic actually in nature one time you know people people can fall what I'm looking for is a pattern what I'm looking for is habitual because think with me when when scripture calls somebody a liar or scriptures call somebody sexually immoral the reality is that scripture calls David a man after God's own heart scripture does not call David I mean he doesn't he doesn't get a label put on him so in the New Testament when you find people called sexually immoral that's that's something that's habitual in their life I mean if there's a one time fall or failure I think I think we're talking something different but you know that would be an observation that I would make passed orally but you know the girl is the one considering marrying the guy if she gets a monster she gets him if she gets a lost man she gets him if she gets a miserable husband if she gets a guy that lacked self-control she gets him if she gets a wonderful husband she gets him if she get if she gets a guy who fell once and God used it to really humble him she gets that and see sometimes that happens I mean I know of maybe several situations where it seems like God may have let his children fall in order to kill a bigger sin like pride or self-righteousness and so you'd want to look at that I mean what how did the person come out of that how did they process what happened how did they process how God dealt with them because I really do think God will let his children fall on their face in certain areas if they're too proud too self-righteous any other so it says I think that if you've the present distress is good for a person remain as he is worried about the wife do not seek people finds the good wife or finds a wife finds a good thing yeah but I I don't think that that has to be any contradiction I would say this that if your gift is not the gift of singleness then find a good wife don't find a crummy one and I would say that to the girls that's that's my point about stressing that text girls if you don't have the gift of singleness don't look for a crummy guy that has no victory in this area don't look for that look for an excellent husband just like the guy is pressed in the Proverbs to look for an excellent wife an excellent wife who can find it means that they're rare look for them you you will you will be happy to find an excellent wife or an excellent husband but that's that's if you're gonna go for the wife if you listen to Paul's concession he is basically saying look if you are unmarried or you are a widow and you can be like I am he says I commend it because you will not be distracted the and he says if you get married you are going to you are going to face distractions he said the unmarried man the unmarried woman they are more fully able to devote themselves to pleasing the Lord and that's the issue and he says that some people have that gift and Jesus himself said you know the disciples said well it's better not to marry then he says well not everybody can accept that same he said there are some who can but many who can't and so I think I think that's the issue if a person can stay single I think last thing we want to do is is propagate this idea in our churches that single people are not complete until they're married like they're always living in this limbo land until they get married we don't want to do that not the way Paul speaks what I would say to young people is consider singleness if you consider it and you're saying you know what I can do that and I think and I can be content that doesn't mean that there aren't some desires to get married but by and large I am able to be I am able to function without undue anxieties and stay single and if you can do that then Paul saying there there can be some advantages to your to your overall devotedness to the Lord that's what he's saying and so but if you don't have that gift Paul repeatedly says if you marry you're not sinning as much as he's trying to say I wish you all could stay like I am he repeatedly says you know I'm not gonna be like the demons I'm not gonna tell you you can't marry you can marry and if you decide to marry you it's good but I would just say this to the single that if you do decide to marry yes look for an excellent wife look for an excellent husband

Channel: I'll Be Honest

Views: 11,349

Rating: 4.9272728 out of 5

Keywords: 1 Corinthians 7:9, marriage, singleness, sexual sin, Tim Conway

Id: hY0e79nwzhs

Length: 62min 50sec (3770 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 06 2019