Bethany's Descent Into Schizophrenia

I've read your book and so I know a little I know your background because you wrote it in the book but just to sketch in for your viewers who made this may be the first video of you they ever see you were as I recall a high achieving a level student concert master in your in your orchestra and went off with I think you had a scholarship to some I had a half tuition scholarship like the University of Southern California right as my dreams which is a great which is a great school and then along the way between high school and college what happened to you well I started to lose focus on my junior year of college I went to China with a small group of students I was a biochemistry major I dreamed about becoming a researcher or a doctor and so this China trip was it was a good experience to see people in poverty and to learn about other religions other cultures the problem was when I got back from China I started to believe I was going to be the next mother Teresa I started to believe that I was going to have a significant impact on world poverty it's a good thing to want to be like Mother Teresa but when I came back from China I couldn't focus on my studies anymore I took the easiest classes that semester and got my worst grades and I was spending all of my time planning a trip to go all by myself to one of the poorest regions in all of Nairobi Kenya Africa when I got to Nairobi my delusions became bigger and had a more of an impact on who I was when I returned from Africa after spending three months in Nairobi I registered for classes as usual and I couldn't I couldn't study anymore my with my best efforts I'm hardly even able to pass my classes I needed help I need to go to a doctor or go to a counselor perhaps begin a medication but I didn't know that needed help I couldn't see it I had no insight so here I was failing my classes I was the scholarship student the orchestra concert master I'd done research as a student now the sudden my mind was a broken record repeating thinking of nothing of Africa my mind was like a cloud and this is the time when I had my first psychotic break and was entirely unaware of it right and as I recall for a period of time you were homeless and and you also had some paranoid thinking that it wouldn't be a good idea for your parents to find you and so even though you're I think your dad went out to California because parents couldn't couldn't raise you you eluded him because of the paranoia do I remember that from your book correctly you remember that correctly one of the saddest times of my life I had no address for a period of four years for the first three years I did a lot of hiding hiding in libraries showing the police my ID late at night my student ID computer libraries one summer I actually hit every night in the dormitory that I knew was not occupied during the summer and I I did that again actually for more than two years finally after a fourth year I was picked up by police and taken to be evaluated before they could tell when when they saw you that something was off it took 30 seconds for them to see that I was hearing voices all the time but during this four year period of time I was essentially afraid of my parents I thought they were going to stop me from from becoming a prophet you know I thought I had this great common to change my world and I was afraid of them and my dad even came looking for me he flew from Ohio to California I wouldn't speak to them he didn't know where I was I'd been travelling I went to Africa I went to Thailand he didn't even know if I was in the country but he was so he was so desperate to see me that he took a flight to LA anyway and he thought he'd just walked the University campus looking for me yes having having met your day yeah I'm not surprised because that that's the kind of guy he is both of my parents are wonderful you know all through my childhood we never once had a really serious disagreement my parents are always my biggest fans my dad used to take me to violin lessons every week bought me a beautiful violin you know I grew up in a house on church property my dad was a pastor we had a tree house we had our go-kart so it clearly wasn't an unfortunate childhood that they caused you to become to contract schizophrenia right yeah yeah my doctors believe that no matter what choice I what choices I've made in life I was going to develop schizophrenia but yeah my dad came looking for me and I saw him from a distance and I still can't believe he even found me and I turn around and ran the other way and he wouldn't see me again for over three years while I was hospitalized I remember I was hospitalized and they said do you want to speak with your parents and I thought why would my parents want to speak with me I have refused to speak with them for four years and then my mom got in the phone and she said Bethany you are my best friend not you were my best friend or you could be my best friend she said you are my best friend and I think I've missed you mom takes longer so my parents were wonderful through all of this my schizophrenia has been very genetic not environmental

Channel: CURESZ Foundation

Views: 9,151

Keywords: schizophrenia, mental illness, brain disorder, mental health, research, information, support

Id: 4abUA1HOjx8

Length: 6min 3sec (363 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 02 2018