Best and Worst Dates

hey everybody and welcome to shut it down boys this is the podcast where me and the boys get together after a long hard 24-hour shift and we talk about life both outside of and at the fire station beside me I've got my two co-hosts as always but as usual I'm your main man leading this Orchestra just freaking getting us all together and getting us through yeah no no no no no getting us through this I'm Maestro in this whole episode next to me I've got Tanner hollan The Lovable hillbilly he's just on the floor in his underwear banging pots and pans together just looking for a little bit of attention and last but not least we've got old Mur and turf he's uh Bob V whenever it comes to woodworking but he's a real simple Jack when it comes to reading uh that's the best one yet ni best One chasing around butterflies the audio oh dude shout out to Tropic Thunder Man oh yeah so anyway how's it going boys going good man enjo the hot totty y'all H is it good so good it is good right when you started doing the intro I was like yeah that's good oh yeah that's I did get like a whole clove in my mouth you got to watch those yeah yeah when Melissa makes them she strains it and stuff but listen I'm not doing all the for you guys yeah not for us yeah not for us not for Simple Jack and the trailer not happening dude all right so today me and the boys we uh we got together and we decided to go over uh best and worst dates we found a list online like we usually do it's a good one it's a good one we've all we've all been around the block of time or two probably murf's 40 I'm 36 hollan about 27 you 28 are you really Jesus uh aged well huh I didn't get you know you and I both didn't get married until we're yeah closer to 30 yeah 30 30 is when I got married yeah same so holl and he got married once at 16 I think and yeah yeah right something like that yeah I love you so much yeah I love you so much babe yeah dude oh man once they get you man some of us have been there oh yeah oh yeah so what are we going to do first we're going to do best dates or are we going to do the worst dates so there's a there's a list online that became super popular and it was uh some women all got together naturally and started complaining about stuff shout out to all the women out there yeah we love you just messing with you but so sponsor but I mean if that's yeah yeah any any ladies want to sponsor us no but come on so uh top 10 worst first date ideas which is generally women are going to be the ones you're getting asked out and then men are you know like I think there was that one dating app where women would ask you out it's either Bumble or I think it was hinge okay so you can go after them they yeah see I'm I'm completely lost I got I got it I got it so there was tender and then uh Bumble is the one I think that women you know have to they have to talk to you first that's what it was yeah they talk to you first so they they really give the power then to the women I kind of like that better though it takes the pressure off the dude way you already know she's interested if she's contacting yeah I would like that better well dude the thing about these these dating apps in my experience which was [ __ ] no I had had a pretty good amount of experience with dating apps uh yeah plenty of fish was was big plenty of fish plent fish whenever I was in Washington state plenty of fish was banging and uh that was an app too that was an app Plenty of Fish okay like fish in the sea like okay good drum thing over here so yeah but with my experience with with the apps we all do this too much it's our thing it's our thing it's our thing dude I just remembered talking about this a bad a bad date I'll save it for whenever we go over our own but I got I just remember a Plenty of Fish bad date oh oh no oh man it was so weird anyway uh but with my experience with the apps well well I'll share that at the end but with my experience with the apps was the the women there would be so many opportunities out there for them oh yeah so you'd be talking to one for you know a day or two or whatever and then they just stopped talking to you and they're you know they saw Brad scrolled across their page they're like Jesus Brad's got a six-pack on him yeah and a six figure job so so you know that that was my experience with it yeah also had a lot of good experiences with it met some cool people some cool ladies yeah uh spent a lot of money had some a lot of bad dates on it but anyway uh so that would be weird right that's kind of almost like the blind date thing right except you did kind of see them but I mean I I've never experienced it so I don't really you roll up and then you roll out real quick yeah oh yeah yeah I was I was wondering if that kind stuff happen there's things that like you know people forget like like I've got buddies that got married from meeting their spouse on on a you know cuz there are people that are like I'm not trying to hook up man I'm trying to meet somebody if you ain't about it peace yeah yeah I would say that that was my opening line then there's those yeah if it happens it happens I didn't want to do it damn it but uh all right here we go here we go anyway here we go top 10 worst first aid ideas this this I would never do this dude it'd be so weird going to the movies what what are you talking about that's a normal thing yeah no you can't your whole the whole point of going on a date is to talk to someone no way man yeah no absolutely so first date you're taking a girl to the movies you got to think about like an a high school or or something I'm talking listen we're not this list was not made off high schoolers I don't know a bunch of horned up teenagers dude yeah that that they're going down skiing the movies yeah D going to the driveth they're going down old dirt road where we're from yeah yeah bend down a few of those exactly okay I I see your point back Ro one way or another I do see your point as an adult movies are not a great first dat no coffee yeah I don't know though you go to a movie and it's like maybe after like you kind of get to know each other but like that first moment like you don't have like you don't have to come up with a bunch of like small talk and like you just kind of sit there you kind of like I'm on your side now and then every once while you might say absolutely not are [ __ ] crazy man and then you're like let's go get a drink yeah and then you can talk about the movie movie your first date 6 hours long what the hell is wrong with YouTube six hours movies are three hours these days with all these previews and then they're like what movie did Brandon Frasier play a mounty in and he was like what just get to the movie do they asking all kinds of trivia and [ __ ] no you two now you two are on the Spectrum for thinking about that I was just I I always loved movies I was a big movie gu have a high school life like we had a lot of fun movies ear I also love movies but I don't want to bring some hot broad with me dude yeah no I don't know I think it's kind of like a a just a a slow incline what you call yeah slow inclin to not getting laid well maybe you yeah dude you don't know no l of just a good romcom you bring them there there's plenty to laugh what you call an ice breaker ex without a lot of conversation in there you know not a big conversationist so you can find out if the girl if you like the girl if you guys are on the same side of the eye this list was made by women and that is the number one most dislike disliked thing oh really you might be wrong yeah we should have dated each other you you probably have a lot more money in free time no kids man dude we [ __ ] we missed up yeah me and my me and my buddy Matt we would always say that except I wouldn't want to see you with your shirt on we would have a a celibacy relationship as well no no no you got to consummated dude like like Braveheart no way and I'm calling priman nocta too dude first dibs dude coming trotting in on that horse are you hello I declare Prima noct oh man God that that turned my stomach watching that part I was like oh man and I wasn't even married yet that was a bad one who which is he taking he taking me what do you mean oh which one am I taking yeah taking me you're the female yeah he's too hairy dud the fale you got good skin yeah but he could take you but that's true wrestling around he be the one on his belly I just drug you with a lone star dude I just Lac he's got Lone Star man oh man that's a good be like I can't blame him look at the sweat dripping off that bottle man I could get me one of those yeah it's green yeah get your ass in a heartbeat yeah a down a wormhole not a good one so you two totally wrong on that taking some hot broad in the 90s to go see Lord of the Rings ain't happening man okay you well I'm not picking lord of the r come on what else would you be is what else would you Pi this this next one is unbelievable I I can't believe that people would actually do this McDonald's oh come on no way there's people that do that apparently dude that's a that's number two first dude if a guy ladies listen if a guy has taking you to McDonald's he's down bad you're I mean get out of there while you can it's only downhill from there dude sure yeah it's only dollar cheeseburgers and and then you're going going to Golden Corral after that what's lower than McDonald's I've never thought about that either yeah what's the last time you've been to a McDonald's you look like you go pretty often based off your based off your shirts based off your shirts your yeah just based off everything about you we don't go as often as you think to be honest with you but during baseball season oh we are frequent flyers from time to time sure because you got kids soccer season for my son yeah we're Chick-fil-A family McDonald's is a familyfriendly I can't KN chickf restaurant that's where you get I chickfila I can't knock at all no but McDonald is a family friend it used to be dude when they had the Nintendo 64s and there and then they you probably don't remember that I don't remember that dude oh man dude they would have a Nintendo 64 station set up like you know with the kind of like You' see at Walmart like a testing but they they would have a game they like Donkey Kong and then they have those hamster tubes that you could climb around that just absolute germ traps now looking back at it those gross dude they are nasty well that's why you got a good immune system now that's true that's true licking the inside of those tubes and [ __ ] like oh man that kid is going to be off for a little while but eating a couple of chicken nuggies I found on the bottom of the always the most disgusting thing as a kid was doing it you step on it be on the bottom of your heel yeah that's like Chuck-E-Cheese dude I saw a comment online and it was like enjoy your rat casino and terrible Pizza I got a point yeah dude it's the craziest thing man so McDonald bad that's bad fast food do not take a girl out for fast food on your first day agree on that right I mean I I would think general public AG as well right no that that's that's [ __ ] crazy I wonder what poor girl had oh I know to write this right 1,561 of them somebody's gone through wow yikes this one this another bad one for a first date man staying home first date yeah yeah no no yeah this do sound very boring come over and hang out and watch a movie or something you sound like you're I mean you obviously know what you want at that point if [Applause] over forie it's not a date then it's not a yeah put on a movie or something come you want a Netflix and chill that's what I'm saying yeah don't you come over to my house and watch Princess mon no or something yeah we already know we're not going to watch this well you're sleeping by yourself yeah dude that girl will be she'll be drier than freaking loveu dude if you put on princess mon no man yeah that ain't happening man D tumble weeds coming there yeah dude that ain't happening man no that ain't happening staying home a family show it's family show true true true so this is I'll go into I'll go into one of my worst ones I'll make it real quick but I this girl it was Plenty of Fish and she wanted she's like I don't have a lot of time like do you do you have a house I was like yep and I had a house that I share with a roommate I was in the Navy and she's like I'll just come over there and we'll just chill out for a little bit I'm like all right I like where your heads at this girl she comes over and I had a couch in my room and a bed and you know we were watching Netflix sure and we're just laying there on the couch and she uh she looks over and she sees like my shoes in the corner and she's like is that all the shoes you have I said yeah she's like I've got like 10 times as many I was like yep I was like you're you're a girl sounds bad right yeah yeah and then she started she started telling me about how big her like ex-boyfriend was she was like oh he was huge and he would go to the gym like every day and he was just like jacked I'm like okay this is a real cool date this a real cool date so far dude and this is I just saw I just saw a clip on that de the day it's so bad anyway keep going so bad dude and then she starts like she's combing through her hair and then she starts putting strands of hair on on my leg next to me and she's like what yeah and she's like those are for you I was like I don't want what is happening right now dude I was like I was just trying to get I'm not making a doll out of this yeah dude I like and I kind of brushed him off my leg and at that point I was like hey um my roommate's about to be home and we're we're going to get some beers or whatever she's like oh okay I guess I'll go I was like get the [ __ ] out of here dude I was like what you guessed right yeah dude so staying home that's you're bringing a total stranger into your house like especially if you're a girl do don't no do not invite some guy over to your house for God's sakes man yeah don't get to know him so that's that's a bad one dude stay go out somewhere get them in public man for God sakes uh dude this and this is crazy people are closet weirdos people are real closet weirdos they are going to a going to a parents house okay I say I see the I see the fingers I don't know if the cameras pick up on the fingers but we all see them [ __ ] uh going to a parents house first first date o hell no dude if a dude if a girl ask me hey let's go to my parents house I'm not ready to meet your mom and dad I don't even know you not doing that sorry if you're weird your parents are probably super weird too I did that one time oh really you did that I was staying with my parents whenever I got out of the Navy and a girl was like we were having a party and she's like do you mind if I come by and I'd never met her except for online she had adult braces so that should have been a red flag right there yeah dude hey good honor man good honor fix eventually fixing her teeth later in life hey she didn't have that growing up she has insurance that's those are two wins either way dude she came by the house and she you know she's going to have a straight Grill it wasn't good awesome it wasn't good yeah yeah my dad was a little too he'd been drinking a little bit and my dad is kind of like me he'll roast you yeah and she didn't really take uh she didn't really take to it very well yeah yeah she did not so don't do that don't bring someone to your parents house man that's bad yeah that's don't do it I wouldn't do that anyways no but I mean I guess I used you know whenever I had the old tiny house I lived but on the back of my parents property yeah but you're still secluded away from I was still secluded and it was still my own tiny it was kind of a driveway off of it so you could you know you didn't have to stop at your parents house first check in yeah check in like walk past them with a girl to my room like those are my roommates so I mean I guess I did that but I usually though like I always want my you know if I like a girl sure like I want her to meet my mom and dad abely like they're cool they're cool people you know my mom and dad are you want their you want their approval yeah that too you know yeah but my parents are cool you my dad's cool he can talk to anybody my mom's super cool my mom's just like super lovable everybody falls in love with her super nice lovable lady but save that yeah but I'm saving it I mean what we talking about thing third fourth date fifth sixth a month or so I guess depending on how how Head Over Heels I am true when did you do it with h Christine I think I did it pretty early okay I I like I mean once once Christine moved back because she lived in Austin um you know when we first started dating and I I'll get to that was she in school um uh no she was actually uh job hunting she had already graduated college okay but um but yeah she was living in Austin at the time but as soon as she came back home I was like oh let's go hang out with my parents you was she one of those street performers in Austin she's played volleyball by herself on the street corner hey nickel or something yeah yeah shout out to Christine just messing with her now she'd be a great Street for Farmer she she's got all kinds of like weird hid Talent you know I'll show you guys athletic I'll show you guys how to make your own chory root socks or something something real obscure what uh something real crunchy yeah dude uh so yeah I mean wait take go to a parents house wait God's sake save that save that this I don't that's when you get serious yeah this one doesn't make sense to me visiting a restaurant what do you mean visiting that's what it says visiting a restaurant so I'm assuming going to a restaurant well where the hell else am I supposed to take you yeah we got to go eat I'm trying that's the whole point of it right Chili's buy one get one free beers so you you pick her up at 6 she hasn't eaten right and then you don't take her to a restaurant yeah you visit it you visit it you're like this it'd be nice to eat here one day that was always my go-to because I never liked that like don't just take me out to dinner and drinks I'm like what do you want me you want to go skydiving I don't know what you want me to do yeah like this is a first date so true a first date lady you want to take you to do your taxes yeah God balance your checkbook that was another girl I dated for a little bit she hadn't done her taxes we were talking about taxes oh you told me this yeah we were talking about taxes and she was like I just haven't done them I like what what I like I was like what what are you talking about she's like ah I just forgot and then it got to be like five or six years and I just stopped doing them I was like hey man yeah I was like you might want to get in touch with somebody yeah I'm going to see if there's a finders fee my God I'm going to call 1800 US government and see if I can get anything for turning you in that's the thing though if you I guess if you owe money they'll hunt you down but if you're getting money back they they a hunting you down to give you money that's the man yeah so that's probably the case that was probably the case she probably this girl she was one of those like didn't work she came from money like a a an an aloof Austin girl like I don't really care you should probably care a little bit yeah dude Uncle Sam's going to be booting your [ __ ] door and then you'll care yeah that was the craziest thing to me man nice lady though shout out to her man all right what do we got here so listen I'm going to take you to a restaurant yeah where the [ __ ] else are you going to go we're going to a restaurant dude it's not going to be a church Birches or a popey's or you know whatever it's going to be a nicer restaurant yeah yeah yeah it's not going to be a chili I do love Chili's though I love Southwest egg roll shout out to dude so do you give them uh suggestions or do you just pick go ahead and pick the rest I pick the place pick the place the place yeah if I asked them it'll be yeah we'll sit here we'll sit here for an hour we'll never go on a date yeah dude we know how that goes that's the old Trope have to go dance or some weird [ __ ] dancing yeah let's go salsa Dan whoa hey trying to get to know you too intimate yeah Sal is very intimate yeah so okay and again this one going to a pub SL bar that's the perfect place for yeah dude you have a couple drinks you loose it up a little bit that's [ __ ] yeah that I like the I like the the cocktail bar first yeah go there get a drink and then we're like all right now we're going to head over to the restaurant have have some more drinks and eat some food so sober you can be buzzed yeah yeah you got to loosen up for God's sakes man listen alcohol makes things better all right all things especially dates Sports podcast everything I just said it not in excessive amounts of course yeah no we're responsible be responsible we've never been drunk on our podcast no never anyway yeah yeah have you guys ever been on a date with someone who drank too much yeah guy or girl both oh yeah oh you drank too much uh no I'm just saying like on a date with a guy with a group or with a girl who drank too much yeah no no no is that what you're asking I'm asking have you ever taken a guy or a girl not a guy okay Jesus have you know me it took you a second yeah it took you have you ever taken a girl on a date and she drank too much yeah yeah okay it's not a fun experience no dude I had to yeah it's actually bad it's it's embarrassing for the most part I had to walk girl home one time luckily she lived right down the road from the bar but dude I told her she said what's uh we were sitting in a bar and it was just it was an awesome bar man I would take a lot take a lot of broads there the bartender knew me he's like hey back again a new face buddy please hey who's this new L keep it moving buddy come on come yeah local watering hole for God's sake don't dime me out so I was at the bar with this girl and she she was like what's the liquor you like you you can't drink that you hate the most yeah I was like I hate Jameson I had a bad experience on Jameson naturally I I I hate Jameson like just looking at the bottle turns my stacher for me and and yeah we all we all have that what's it for you probably probably a good quality beer uh worst yeah whiskey uh anything what turns your stomach anything that turns your stomach well uh uh Evan Williams Oh God anybody yeah so it's basically I think it's like knock off Jack Daniels for sure awful so this girl she was like what's what's I think they make I think that makes some higher end stuff but will I could see it anyway but she asked me she said what's the what's the one liquor you hate the most I was like I I hate Jameson she's like oh yeah I'm I'm not a big fan either I was like okay so two shots of Jameson I knew I go to the bathroom dude and I come back from the bathroom and there's four shots of Jameson two for each of us and I was just like oh God I said I was like what's going on she's like I got your favorite drink she thought she was being caddy and fun I was like nah man so I told her I was like I can only drink one of these and she's like I got the rest don't worry goo goo goo I was like Jesus even the bartender was like ah yeah I thought you guys had friends or something yeah we did not man and we had we hadn't eaten anything and she just started sliding off her chair like not in a good way not because I was being super handsome but she just like started just slum jumping Downs further and further and I'm like hey I got to like where where do you where do you live and she's like oh you try to get in my pants and I was like no like I just I I got to take you home I got to get you home I was like I was like you didn't drive here right she goes no like okay so I said where do you live and she told me and it was right up the road she's like I'm pretty close Okay so I'm like said do you want to walk so dude yeah walk over there cuz I'm going this way yeah man I shuffled this girl home and it was a it was a doorbell like it was in Seattle so it was like a multi duplex or whatever yeah and I I rang the the buzzer to the room that she was in yeah and it was her roommate she's like hello and I was like hey I've got your friend here and she drank too much and the girl I could hear she goes she goes [ __ ] Shannon I'm sorry yeah and so she comes downstairs and her roommate's like thank you so much and like she just drags this girl back upstairs I was like all right cool date going out with Shannon again no no no no no it didn't happen and she's like getting dragged up the stairs she like call me I'm like no no man not it ain't happening man so delete I mean yeah yeah go to a go to a bar like that's that's fun go to a bar watch just watch how much you drink yeah just watch how much you drink for God's sakes man uh this is this is a this is a wonky list hey usual it's a goofy ass list swimming uh what swimming oh like like uh the you go take a girl to swim some laps or something or are they talking about drop jumping in the lake you yeah I want to see what your 100 meter time is yeah it just says swimming let me see your butterfly for God's sake it literally just says swimming oh wow yeah so don't take I've never thought about that no I guess if you have a pool at your house and you're like hey you want to go back to my house and go swimming I mean I guess first date I guess maybe but even then it's like you're going to their house that's the same thing as going house yeah true true and then and then you're asking them to get in a bathing suit maybe a lake one yeah yeah I'm not doing that man unless they're really into you then it's not a date hooking up Jason vor's taking you on a date let's go to the lake no let's go to this let's go to this secluded Cabin in the Woods got a couple machetes yeah my mom's there didn't Jason like hate his mom or something no his mom he he was he was getting Vengeance for his mom they killed his mom they killed his mom they chopped her head off ah Jesus 19 1970s guys come on who killed his mom I don't know the campers the camp counselors killed his mom dear Lord for what how do y'all not know this I don't like scary movies yeah I'm not like scary movie guy Jason Vorhees they let him drown okay his mom got mad started killing everybody naturally yeah and then the camp councelor chopped her head off so Jason's Soul comes back and comes out of the lake and starts murdering interesting everybody interesting okay I didn't I didn't know that tid still not going to watch any of them y got to watch it no I'm good next up we got watching a football game yeah that's bad that's a bad one B dude no that's real bad dude thing unless you really like unless chick like super into sports and you're like hey let's go to a game yeah you know but I think you might find that out ahead of time before you just like commit to like Hey we're going to my favorite football yeah yeah well if you're healing you can't do that though no Z I would never take a let's go to this uh this leather ball game it's got this the Ravens are playing the the Patriots no I'd take a girl to a Magic Gathering tournament yeah yeah dude those are the Eagles no I would it's a bird yeah yeah I'd take a girl to watch some fat kids play Yu-Gi-Oh before I took her to [ __ ] football that yeah it's a card game yeah card G card game yeah game I know about it it was also a TV show dude okay I don't know he never he never it always keeps going yeah [ __ ] blue eyes white dragon dude Dark Magician yeah you don't know that oh man just in another [ __ ] real oh man I wish I remember the theme song Yu-Gi-Oh if you're looking for someone to sponsor oh yeah I don't know they can't still be going no yeah I bet there's some they're selling cards so they got we can we could start doing that thing where just open up Yu-Gi-Oh cards like do big reveal stuff you know get a lot of that's a lucrative business that's that's that's for a podcast of healing by himself yeah we ain't doing that yeah the three of us aren't doing that yeah legendary blue eyes white dragon blue eyes white dragon a big deal well it's like that one dude that pulled a uh post Malone bought it from him he they they did a Lord of the Rings Magic the Gathering uh set oh yeah he P he pulled the one ring and it was a single card that they made they only made one of them out of millions of other [ __ ] po Malone pulled it or somebody else pulled a random dude pulled it yeah and then post Malone contacted him immediately he's like I'll buy that thing from you for like $1.2 million and the guy's like what okay no way can you and he dude yeah can you imagine that [ __ ] that is crazy yeah post Malone hit you up he's like hey I'll give you $1.2 million for him I'd probably open it up and like what's this trash yeah dude no no [ __ ] ring yeah you'd be like hey make sure to PayPal at friends and family to me Poston friends and family friends and family I'm try to pay taxes on this please I'm not trying to pay taxes on this [ __ ] all right so watching a football game I I yeah unless a girl's super into sports yeah so don't but even then for you you're out I'm out I'm not doing that no she's super into sports even me I'm out like dude out I'm not I like sports but I'm not as yeah you know I'm not keeping up with sh as much the I'm not I'm not the ESPN Sport Center guy either you know I don't sit there and watch that kind of stuff I get [ __ ] all the time on on like Instagram and Facebook I love you know I love a game watching a game and I like playing sports sure yeah I'm more into playing sports than I watching them keeping up with all that [ __ ] dude it is just so much [ __ ] and they're constantly trading players new players baseball football it always happens to me I'll be like oh you know uh he's on the you know the Browns and they're like dude he was on there like two years ago I'm like he traded again go figure holy [ __ ] you know no I I can't keep up with it anyways tangent whatever yeah dumb Sports tangent complete lame this one is just absolutely insane I I don't know how this is even on the list uh attending a funeral what dude that someone to ask somebody on a first date take them to a funeral I mean unbelievable that's like a Wedding Crashers yikes yeah idiot you idiot oh Mom look at me dead unbelievable man yeah dead oh man no that that's insane uh next one and and I would do this one pretty often especially whenever I lived in in Washington state oh and it's the worst this is yeah this is the worst going to the park I think that's a good the hell's wrong with going to the park man take you to a nice park bring some coffee what are you pushing her on a swing I mean no know she might like that damn it no just go to a park or like take a walk at the park with your dog or whatever I'm on board I like that taking to park taking them hiking before again in Washington state Whenever there were bunch of hikes all over the place but you know that the only problem with that is you're like sweating and they're like sure so I grew up in San Francisco you take him on like an eight mile hike yeah yeah yeah so a hike might be tough a hike might be tough yeah but that's not a park just a just a Leisure walk through the park but that was that was a that was a common thing in Washington state was like there were hikes everywhere so they'd be like you want to go to hike like yeah sure absolutely and they were you know these broads would show up in lululemons and freaking some hiking boots and Hiking sticks I'm like oh yeah I got a pair of Nike freeze on and some shorts I'm like yeah Crush did you bring the poles no never no dude if you're listen if you're hiking with poles man I should be able to push you off the side of a cliff like yeah you got to be at least 60 to be hiking with sticks yeah you have to have gray hair work on your balance going up Everest or some [ __ ] you better vertigo or some [ __ ] yeah if you're hiking those BR no yeah that is that's the Mount Everest [ __ ] were all the women up there just like super you get to pass then not all of them because you know it's a very cold environment so people would really thicken up up there yeah cold and rainy very pale people I just assume they' be really in shape very very pale people so no no not really it's always cold up there and like I said man you know the Summers were beautiful but man people would really thicken up yeah so no but I don't I I don't agree with that I think taking them to the park is I think that's a good one is an awesome idea especially if you got dogs an outdoors thing yeah yeah an outdoors thing yeah and and this on a pretty day and you get away if if the date's going bad like all right well I parked over here I'll see you later yeah yeah meet you meet you park it's public people ever everywhere this is from another list and I think this is [ __ ] uh coffee dates that's [ __ ] yeah coffee dates seems like number what is the good yeah what the [ __ ] take them all bad stuff all bad stuff take them chopping wood down or some [ __ ] I don't know what wait soit want to know what you guys think a coffee date is bad no I think I think a coffee date is a great date the date that is the date perfect like first get together mhm mhm and you know what no commitment screw you if you don't like it I'm sorry like that's the way it is I want it to be short sweet to the point and I either like you and I can leave and be like I'm going to go out on another date or be like I don't like you I'm gone bye right yeah that's how that's honestly and for them too cuz they might not like you you I don't want to go I don't want to go to a movie and and then a full dinner quickly know you you you pretty quickly know yeah take five seconds yeah if you're a nice person you end up kind of hanging in there like they start thinking like you know rock energy and like their hair is blue you're what did you say oh Rock Energy Rock Energy oh man yeah what's what's your sign yeah that personally for me I went nothing against it oh dude yeah I got one about those man listen yeah you start tell me there's energy and Rock yeah I met a girl I met a girl at a bar who was a rock girl a rock and moon girl real Wicked girl man yeah man I'll tell I'll tell you the story let's hear this a good starts I was I was in uh where the hell was I was in new Bron Falls and I was going to apply for the fire department there and so you know they have a it's like a it's it was a drive out there for me so I was like let me go the day before so I can wake up and do the physical test and all that stuff and uh so I went out to uh a a restaurant and I ate at the bar and I was drinking and eating at the bar whatever and the bartender was like hitting on me the whole time I was like all right so yeah so either way I'm this bartender is just like feeding me drinks I take an Uber back to the uh my hotel room and this girl is just like messaging me like oh I can't wait till I get off like and I told her I told her where I was staying and all that and you know of course I'm back and forth like oh yeah it's going to be awesome we're going to have a good time y y y yeah definitely saying worse than that is that what he said yeah it's going to be super cool yeah here's my Snapchat yeah not saying that dude so either way I go back to my hotel room and I pass out oh no half smooth out dude and I wake up to like 15 messages I'm like ooh and I had to go take a physical test and a written test that morning so I was just like hey sorry you know I didn't catch you or whatever and she was like oh you're awake I said yeah she said what what time do you have to go to do your test and I was like in like 45 minutes she's like oh okay I'm downstairs I'm going to come up I was like what oh no dude yeah dude she had come that morning and like yeah next thing I know there's a knock on the door oh yeah like yeah yeah that's kind of how I was I was like it's kind of crazy but also cool never had anybody pursue me like this so either way she comes in she brings some breakfast burritos and [ __ ] we hang out we watch watch a little Netflix you know we hang they say watch a little Netflix uh and then she's like she's like hey I brought you this like you know for for good luck for your testing and she gives me a bag of [ __ ] rocks and I was just like what and she's like yeah I I set them out the other night and they absorbed the moon's energy and I was like okay I'm like all right I'll see you later I [ __ ] threw those rocks right in the trash can dude I'm like get these freaking man get this devil [ __ ] out of here maybe maybe she's right you didn't get hired there so I did not get hired yeah I did not get hired I for yeah I shouldn't have thrown those damn rocks away dude they she at her house right now going yeah she's got to Voodoo Doll of me oh man yeah shout out to that girl she was a nice lady dude sheot up at my hotel with some rocks and breakfast burritos the next morning okay yeah good hangover cure but uh yeah don't uh what the hell how the the hell did we get off on them I think I made a comment about blue hair and R yeah you did blue hair and wickens and rocks Hey listen if you like rocks and the moon that's cool I'm not going to I'm not just don't share it on the first date yeah don't share it yeah save it save it yeah I didn't immedi immediately dump Magic the Gathering and [ __ ] on Melissa the first date uh so save it so uh let's let's go run through real quick your uh we've been doing a lot of worst date spots so what hollan what was your best date my best date yeah give me a best date uh me and the wife went to uh Austin um we've been to a couple places we went to Washington I kind of had a debate my mind like which one you went to where uh Washington DC we just went right we wanted to do some H as a date well it was like kind of like a trip date I would say it it's we got four kids it's hard for us to get around [ __ ] Declaration of Independence I got a copy of it uh but it was we went to Austin okay and it was the best the best like SK scheduled time to be somewhere with my significant other sure right that's what I would say best date I ever had sure going there we got to be alone no kids eat disgusting dirty food the whole time of course you know U oh DC's got some awesome stuff just you know yeah for eight nine years I've been with kids and hard to get away so when I get something like that that's the best man so that to me and Austin's awesome if you come to Texas go to Austin to do it's good it's a great spot uh that's my best yeah are we going to do worst uh after best well yeah yeah okay's murf got your best one real quick I I don't want to sound cliche like okay too late too late but my my honest best first date was with my wife okay so nerd alert yeah I'm going to jot another one now we'll go again so she uh she's living in Austin and uh and she had came down or whatever and I hung out with her at a bar and I was like oh man this girl's cool cute funny she's got a great laugh and then anyway she invites me to come to visit her in Austin you know so I obviously I'm like next day I'm like driving to Austin you know of and then uh and no we we go out we do the typical things going out to eat and things like that well um well on our way back we're driving and then I see like this bridge that's over the water mhm and there's people jumping off of it in in the water and I'm like oh that's awesome or whatever and then I was like let's go do it oh [ __ ] and she goes yeah let's go do it she was in hell yeah she was totally in so like whip the car around turn around we we head over to the bridge and we just join in with the rest of the people and just start jumping in the water and then we end up having a blast and then she's you know turns out to be loveing Adventure all that things you know and uh and so I was like I was head over Hills at that point I was like oh yeah this girl is super cool that's a good one yeah and you t a couple Adventure Andes man y'all been all over the place yeah and I I chock that up to her because I would probably be more of a home body if it wasn't for her or like less social but she kind of keeps me in that Loop or whatever to keep going and like having fun and and as soon as I commit to something that she's kind of got on her head in her brain I'm like man I'm so glad you made me do this you know generally how it goes so best first I mean best date was definitely with my wife even though that this cliche but it really was well you got to think look we're we don't need to piss our wife we already talked about that matter all what do you got h i I got I mean listen I I'll join the old cliche gang we have to the worst ones are legally obligated to well I mean that's why we married them right of course yeah because I mean if it was a terrible date with them you you're not going to be with them absolutely baby no so uh me and Melissa we went to uh like out outside of Houston outskirts of Houston yeah she brought me to this like restaurant that served like awesome burgers and milkshakes and fries and all that stuff so we went and had badass burgers and then we went on a like a hike in the area or whatever it was a nice fall day you know there we go on a hike it was a hike yeah we went on a hike and it was awesome we had a great time and then we ended it had found a uh local comic book shop it was like an old school comic book shop that had all kinds of Like Comics and artwork and it it was awesome man so just one of those old nostalgic like comic book shops and that's my thing like I love that kind of stuff that's definitely you I mean yeah we we had a we had a [ __ ] blast man saw a bunch of bison and [ __ ] on this hike like it was it was a hike SL like Nature Preserve thing Houston yeah I I have to ask Melissa where the hell it was man she Googled it and found it what time of the year was it it was was probably like October November perf a nice light jacket hell yeah but I mean that was that was one of the best dates yeah yeah yeah I mean I've had some other cool really cool we've all had some cool dates but I had another girl that I was dating and she took me to a there's a castle in Texas so that there's a castle some weird guy built a castle kind of okay it was kind of cool uh I'll have to look it up man but this weird guy built this [ __ ] all by himself God Dam it hollan that freaking link to that sex doll that you sent us pops up when holl was doing research it was a $2,000 sex doll intrigued me $2,300 oh my God Murphy bought one the other day Mur no oh Newman's Castle Newman's Castle it Newman's Castle PA Newman's Castle no not Paul Newman I'll post I'll post I would go there it was actually it was actually pretty cool and this this girl pitched it to me that I was uh uh seeing at the time nice um but uh she pitched it to me and I was like all right yeah so yeah we went to this castle and you know it was kind of it was kind of a goof the guy was obviously a quack like built his own castle in the middle of nowhere and had the money to do it yeah and it was I was about to say yeah he had a lot of money he had a it was like a tour group set up you know so it was us and like one other older couple okay and he makes you like put on these goofy hats this is the beginning of the tour dude he makes you put on these goofy hats and he had like a trebuchet set up like a catapult thing no way and he put like a pumpkin in there and he's like all right put this on and here's your sword and he's like I need a volunteer to to yell to no no to yell at the people in the castle saying we're coming to breach your Gates no no I want to be the guy Swinging The Sword please yeah dude it was it was a wooden sword and I was like listen buddy the only reason I'm here is cuz I'm trying to breach some gates but not this one dude yeah yeah so naturally that's the only reason I'm here buddy so and he's like come on you and I'm like [ __ ] dude and so I have to scream like we're coming to reach your Gates and I was like this and that girl like recorded me and stuff I was like this is the gayest thing inside you're like this is the best I was like this is the worst I was like this is the worst right now man and uh but yeah like this he built I'll post a picture of it up but he built like a legit Castle this weird medieval with theat and everything he built this weird Castle God dang so that was that was a cool date like you know that girl randomly was like I know you're a weird guy you want to go see this other weird guy's castle in the forest I'm like yeah hell yeah right man Newman's Castle he also owns a bakery up the road I forgot about that we went to a bakery before it what town is that in uh Bell Belleville Belleville Belleville I know where that's outside of Houston yeah Belleville it's outside yeah Highway 36 a middle of nowhere Town shout out to Newman's castle that was fun the trebuchet thing was a little goofy but sh that was a that was a fun he had like a torture room and everything like I was like is there an after hours tour you guys do oh [ __ ] he had the thing where you stretch people out and the that's the most interesting place we go to Houston that's wild yeah it was cool so you guys had to go check check out that this weird ass castle in the middle I'm doing that next week do it dude bring the kids man I'm take some pictures so all right let's go on to worst day hollan what do you got for a Worst Date okay okay all right well worst dat is in a movie theater of course okay and you got to remember I was like 15 or 14 years old and it's a family show this is a family show Family Show sure okay not really there was a girl there was a girl I liked and we had agreed we'd go with her and her friend I'd bring a buddy go to the movies we did this all the time was her friend a larger girl no no no she was actually a nice nice chick yeah just like a double date yeah double date and uh except the friend didn't like my buddy so they they set on either end of us we don't like most of your buddies so makes sense so they're just there for support they're there for like to keep it not awkward right you did that young absolutely so we're sitting in the movie and this young girl had worn clothes that I was like noticing scan CL yeah you're a young man and I had never up to this point had my hand on a girl's thigh ever okay all right never done it rubbing along those ham hops I didn't you know and nothing happened right we're watching the movie nothing happened but I'm obviously excited sure that's all I'll say and so you know I'm excited to hear the story each you know anyone who's ever been on a date knows that you got to use use a restroom at some point to go talk to your buddy about how it's going you know in the movie so guess me and my buddy I was like I got to use a restroom middle of the movie I got to use your restroom and and I I get up hey Terry come with me that's exactly what happened okay don't make fun of me come on too late this is hard to say anyway that's what this whole show is about so we're going we're going to the restroom and my buddy uh Dawson he does give a [ __ ] I was like man it's going good he's like dude look down so I look down my pants oh no and there's a stain in my oh dude you degenerate so I you we're in the bathroom like trying to figure out what the hell we're going to do it's nature and it is just nature I can't control that that just happened let me see if I can blow dry it for you we're trying to that was that was hilling all the way up till he's 25 anyway that's true yeah yeah yeah going early man yeah yeah it's so you're you're trying to f what the hell EXC first of all how did this happen we going to my but but we were trying to F do I splash water on me it's worse yes but you still had to walk out with him so you know what we did when that movie ended dude we did the quick side hug yeah and we [ __ ] ran for his mom's car she dropped us off that's a good buddy that's a good buddy he's a good buddy that's a good buddy he kept he kept you know the attention on him you know to a point she didn't talk good job she didn't talk to me you taking your popcorn bucket out of the movie theater like I just really love popcorn you're just not very good at picking friends yeah oh man dude that's she never talked to me again after that never talked to me again after do you think she knew no she probably just didn't like me yeah I could see that solid cover up Dawson's a good guy you guys met him bad I don't really like him worst date for me personally not because of the woman though but it was mainly just the experience the experience was terrible that's a bad one it was terrible it's the most embarass thing it's hard to tell the audience so don't make fun of me roast me it happens M what do you got okay so uh so I ended up meeting this girl at the gym or whatever and we decided to go out on a date or whatever kind of just kind of yeah just kind of talking at the water fountain type thing or what and I go out on date with her and then find out like her her last boyfriend like when we first like were like trying to meet up she's like said something about her last boyfriend like driving to Harley and he was bad dude anyway so I'm like okay you know I'm I feel like I'm a nice guy or whatever and then we we go out to eat and um and anyway afterwards we were going to go get drinks and so she wanted to go to a pool hall and then like she knew where to go and I was like okay yeah let's go so we go to the pool hall oh no and then it's like it's like a biker bar po there's a layer of smoke at the top like this you know they're doing tattoos in the corner and yeah yeah like I don't belong there at all and anyway she's uh she's a little forward throughout the whole like experience know but you know young I'm like okay and she was a little older than I was and uh anyway she's like let's go back to the house and hang out you know and I'm like okay and she had already mentioned that she was like a single mom yeah awesome so which I'm you know I had no problem with I so I was like okay shout out to the single mom's out absolutely so anyway we decided to go back to her house and I was like okay cool you know but I'm thinking your kid's not there right but I don't ask well I get there I get there and the girl it's her daughter's there and she's like 12 years old oh no I'm like oh so I'm like hanging out in the kitchen I'm trying to have small talk with like a 12-year-old and dude I'm like anyway she goes in the back and at this point I'm like I got to get out of here yeah I got to get the [ __ ] out here I got to get out of here already the girl was like a little off-putting and I don't know why I committed to go back to her house but I'm just like mean I know I know why we all know why yeah we know why so anyway I just came up I did what any gentleman would do and I came up with a lame my mom's dying yes I came up with a super lame excuse and then I bounced and she's like okay yeah later I'll see you at the gym and I'm like okay yeah and then like it was weeks before I went back to the gym I just worked out at home a little while yeah you just absolutely pan you Chang gyms so yeah that's worst date you know and that's why you got to be careful with like what is it like don't [ __ ] where you eat or like picking up picking up chicks at the gym dude yeah you got to you got to change gyms after that dude yeah you got to go I end up going back or whatever and you know small talk you explained out of it right yeah yeah and then good for no big deal I never went on another date with her you know she was still kind of cordial with me but we got the pict she was rough around the edges as they say you know I can see that her last boyfriend was a biker yes that went to Dive Bar she rode on the back of his motorcycle or whatever what you call them the old lady old lady yeah a biker that's my old lady man dude bikers yeah that's tough dude you can't you got to be careful picking chicks up at the gym we showed up at that pool hall too nothing but Affliction shirts a that I was like oh man I'm going to get beat up they're all good at fighting or they think back yeah they thought they were UFC fighters uh they had met Murphy yet yeah sons of [ __ ] all right what's your man I uh this was again whenever I was in Washington I was in the military I was newly single and you know my ex had just cheated on me with a Target security guard I'm not bitter about it or anything but uh and I ni and I met this girl uh it was probably on Plenty of Fish so I met this girl and we go out and we what did we do for first man we went to a restaurant we got something to eat we got some drinks or whatever usual yeah and we hit it off we were having a we were having a great time dude she was cool as [ __ ] and then we she was like I know a good burger spot like if you like save room for burgers and we'll go get some burgers and beers I like hell yeah dude we went got Burgers we had we had a good time and then somehow we ended up back at my uh at my truck yeah you know hell yeah yeah yeah and we were like checking the seat belts in the back and stuff making sure yeah making sure the seats were clean you know we get it yeah I was armor alling armoring and armor alling making sure there's a good sheen on things so and dude this girl we're like putting our clothes back on from the armor alling cuz we got sweaty you know hot and heavy a yeah so and and I was like hey I said we should like we should hang out again like next week or something we'll we'll meet up and hang out again she goes well uh I don't know I've got a I've got a lot of you really impressed yeah I was like I've got yeah oh dude it was bad you talk about make you talking about make you feel low man oh yeah she was like H I got a lot of Tinder dates lined up and I was like oh my god dude right after a breakup it was bad too yikes you talk about a good shower cry after that one man oh the self-esteem is just gone dude oh man dude oh she did you a favor man get out of so bad man you were before those Tinder dates dude on the way home I was you didn't you weren't up to SN it was so bad man I just wasn't up to speed there were a bunch of other dates lined up man apparently God that was so bad man yeah that that was a low blow man dude that's a shot to the heart D that hey girl ladies out there gee give us a break yeah say it I'm busy God I'm going out of town or something man my mom's in the hospital or something you didn't or I don't like you didn't meet the mark yeah or you were a bad armor Aller yeah yeah dude you know explaining oh God yeah so excuse me that was a pretty bad one that would hurt that would H that was a bad one anybody else got anybody anybody got a topper for that one I don't think I do man how much time you got some time you got you got some you got some you got some I you probably got some bu two you went on a date with dude I'm trying to think you're trying to think you without without making someone feel horrible if they ever watched it okay n I'll leave it alone yeah leave it alone I might leave leave it alone leave it alone yeah if you had a bad date with me reach out and comment say something leave a comment if you had a terrible date with any of us I some of these girls might I hope not anyway I've told the I have told the girl to go home before because we were going to hook up uh-huh and they were on their period I like I'm not here for that we're not friends jeez you led me to believe something else yeah you led me down this road and here we are don't do that I feel like that's a common courtesy I might be wrong but if you know what you're going I guess in the you're going to a bedroom you know what you're kind of leading it into and then you say I'm on my period like I mean that's one I don't know I like hygiene I'm just not well yeah yeah yeah obviously that's something you for future yeah but that's very private but honestly good on her for for at least letting me know I guess good on her for saying that giving you a heads up dude or maybe that was just maybe that was just her way of just not that might have been it too not hooking up with you that could have been it what she want to do just cuddle my bed just been denying I don't want to cuddle I'm not cuddling with you you're not my wife my girlfriend yeah oh dude listen I'm a [ __ ] Jam me up this apparently these girls like you I know yeah you got got a lot of people that agree with that you got to love these girls for like loving us unconditionally you know burping and farting and like we you know oh yeah horrible story I'm sure we're very offputting at points absolutely but dude in the mornings I I'm [ __ ] a mover and a Shaker in the morning like I'm I'm all over the place in the morning I wake up at 5:30 or 6 o'clock in the morning and I'm I'm on go and this morning I wanted to try and like get the podcast room set up uh get uh get a workout in walk the dog I had a bunch and Melissa wakes up she's like and she's like will you come cuddle with me on the couch for a little bit and I'm just like [ __ ] I got [ __ ] to do yes yeah but I got and then I was like I was like all right you just itching the whole time you just laying there tapping and [ __ ] yeah and then and then I told there got us oh dude I'm like I'm like I got to go man yeah she's like just a second long which God bless him for loving us and wan to love on us yeah uh but you know excuse me my poor wife has to put it with me sometimes I'm like oh I'm so sorry I'm so sorry yeah like I'm sorry man I got I got something I forgot to to pull up for for last last episode for hollan what is it me and hollan are be we'll probably be on the med unit tomorrow saving lives you know uh no big deal dude I remember the last time I Rod the med unit with hollan he and it's just the hillbilly in him but these nurses at the hospital he'd be like hey honey you know where I can get a blanket or something from this lady hey oh yeah hey honey hey and he'd be like hey sugar you know where I can where where do I drop this P the pet names that he gives and they'd be like I wasn't even trying to be no dude just being nice it is kind of an old school thing though Southern hillbilly in hey hey sugar tits take that out of your vocabulary he didn't do that one apparently I didn't even see this this but one of the nurses I don't even know if she was a Nur take a f to it she was like yeah I saw her face and she was just like what the and it's just in his lexicon dude he's just like a southern gentleman hillbilly he's like hey sugar hey you know where I can I got to help this nice lady out you know where she's cold you know where I can get a blanket for and I'm just over there laughing my ass off man what what a guy didn't even didn't help out no dude I told him you're already you're already you're already I told him I told at that your wife didn't come around the corner help me out nothing oh dude [ __ ] being judged funny man being judged I don't like I don't like that at all what dude if that was me someone was like hey honey hey honey I'd be like hey yeah going it's just it's just the way we were raised we were turning over a patient last shift me and Mur were and I was standing there and I had my clipboard or whatever and this nurse uh or like a I don't know if she was an LVN I don't know what she was but either way she was standing behind the counter whenever I was waiting on the other nurse to to be finished doing whatever she was doing and she was under her breath she goes you one fine ass fire and I was like what and she goes oh I'm sorry and I said no no no like I I don't and she's like she's like is that sexual harassment I said it could be I said but I don't give a [ __ ] I said I appreciate the compliment man yeah you can compliment me all you want different dude I was laughing my ass off man shout out to those nurses man they're they're in the same boat as us do they're putting up with a lot keeping the ship afloat man putting up with a lot oh yeah but folks that's our uh best and worst dates uh we found a goofy list we roasted it as usual per usual like comment share subscribe let let everybody know what's going on with the podcast please we we we really appreciate it and we really appreciate you guys watching and uh we love you guys all what do you got for them well if you went on the bad date with one of us uh let us know comment thate was let's see those comments now maybe you didn't know you were on a bad date and yeah but let us know yeah yeah tell us your tell us your best and worst dates yeah and uh yeah hell yeah let us know folks make sure and comment again best and worst dates we love you guys we'll see you next time later cheers

Channel: Shut It Down Boys

Views: 445

Keywords: comedy, firefighter, entertainment, podcast, man, funny, top10, dating

Id: uOsIDYRyQvY

Length: 62min 13sec (3733 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 20 2024