Dave Attell Hates Compliments | Bertcast # 576

here's the truth dads want steaks when you give Dad perfectly aged oh so tender steaks you're not just giving them the best meal of his life but the chance to grill them share them and share the moment with you uh I will resend to my freezer last night I pulled out the air air chilled chicken breast oh bro Frozen put them in warm water for about 10 minutes pull them out put them on the grill I ate four chicken breasts by myself for a limited time when you go to omahasteaks.com and enter the code Bert into the search bar you'll be able to order the dad's favorite Grill package for just 99.99 save over 60 percent on dad's favorite Grill pack and you'll get four bacon wrapped fillets four premium air chill boneless chicken breasts and they are tender for boneless pork chops I got them in my freezer four Gourmet jumbo Franks I'm telling you that the best damn jumbo Franks you're ever gonna have four made from scratch and caramel apple tartlets and Omaha Steak Seasoning plus eight free Omaha Steak Burgers for only 99.99 that is such a great deal remember gifting is easy dad wants steaks that's all you need to know Omaha Steaks isn't just steaks it's the best steaks of your life guaranteed visit omahastakes.com and type Burt in the search bar to order the dad's favorite Grill pack today for just 99.99 plus eight free burgers with your order I'm getting a message yeah evidently the queen is sick slow Wi-Fi [Music] yeah of course you can smoke in here so you got this house right yeah and um oh here pull the mic up to you um I can't do you have a a bigger stump here oh thanks oh thank you buddy ah yes what fire did you get this one at this was a fire season this was the old house Leanne it said the other house Leanne is when we bought it Leanne loves cutting down [ __ ] trees oh yeah I'm not a person like that like I like I can see you owning a saw a chance no no I I lie I I like trees you do yeah like privacy and trees hey I just started seeing those why what what's the um what's the the tip on the cigarette how about a hello how you doing hey how about that hey Dave it's so good to see you you know I was the one on the 101 you know I'm talking about fighting the traffic um it's great to be here Bert thanks for having me now the cigarette I have these little tips on the and on the uh on the end here and people always ask me about them they go what is that and it's like a little plastic tip that takes some of the tar out of it just a little just a little bit of the tore out and if you smoke like three or four of them you can see it slowly build up really yeah and then I like to put them in my mouth and it looks like teeth like Halloween teeth how many packs do you smoke a day I uh like to smoke a pack for every hat I wear two hats bro you're a great the one thing I love about you is you're a master of branding so I'm trying to uh create a new character called Davey two hats my name's Davey too hats I love that when we were doing the fully loaded you'd go up with your mask on and I was like wait what is going on with Dave with his mask and then you go I got a bit for it you know me I'm a prop man in in my heart I'm all about props but uh I have to say thanks again that was a great tour and I'm so excited we're doing it again yeah we're doing it again fully loaded we got uh Tiffany haddis just jumped on wow yeah Tiffany's gonna do it and uh Stavros it's dude it's just such a all the people are just fun hangs it must I mean like just the few dates I did with you it must have been exhausting I mean you were there every show you closed every show you did everything I don't mind it I I I I'm getting a message yeah evidently the queen is sick slow Wi-Fi okay sorry the um I just head to Georgia today I said uh I'm doing a podcast with David tell and she went oh Dad you should ask him how he writes jokes and I said really and she goes yeah maybe you can like use some of that to start writing well I uh just shot something up in San Francisco and I I definitely could have used a few more jokes in San Francisco I was at Cobbs it was a great Club so I wanted to like lay down some tape it's been so long and I got like bits as you we all do like yeah I'm so I'm so sick of these bits you know I wanted to get them on tape already you know I don't even know if they're funny anymore and then I got like some new stuff that I wanted to put out there plus there's like other little things I wanted to do and I I gotta say like of the two shows one of them was awesome the other one's sound problems you know it was a little stiff and all that kind of stuff plus I was like kind of all over the place on both of them so I'm hoping to get a tight half hour what do you think of this like the half hour as opposed to the hour what do you think I think my someone just did I think Chris DeStefano did a shorter out yeah I saw that I love it it was great and I don't think I think the hours like sugar always does like an hour 20. wow and I go that just seems like a lot I think and and I think but based on your style of Comedy like I think Mark Norman you Sam Morrell yeah I think to do half hours is is perfect because it doesn't burn all your material so then you can still tour with stuff true um but I think for like myself because I do longer stories a half an hour I feel like I haven't it's right yeah Sam and Mark are like uh like those guys are always pumping out new material they really are great and uh I I just think for me it's like first of all I watched some hours and you know I watched Marin's which was awesome and uh watched a couple other ones and I was like it's really it's really like the the actual time of an hour is it's really you have to commit to it you know yeah you gotta commit and like you know you watch some you know an hour of Comedy like you want to take a break you know you're in your house you're like you know I feel like I'm gonna get a sandwich and then I'll come back to this you know that kind of thing but I think the half an hour is doable I think half hour is so doable and it's it it get it makes you want more I hope so you know what jokes do is your owl joke on that you know what uh I got a couple of different Al jokes so uh one of them is you know it was also like I was working with uh Louis Katz and Ian fedance and those guys adorned me all the time they're both Headliners but they go out on the road with me and they're bringing up old jokes that like I don't even know how to tell them anymore you know and I'm like uh but you know like you know how it is like unless you like keep the Reps going on the joke it becomes like a hole like just Babble I don't remember how jokes start sometimes really someone will go like hey tell the joke about uh Island the deodorant in the refrigerator and I go yeah I know the joke but I don't know how to get into it all right yeah because everything was always everything's by the time I tell them I'm special everything's so married to the thing before it that I go that I don't remember if I don't remember the if you told me the end of the first joke or you tell you the beginning of the second joke but I don't know how the joke just starts well with this story too it's like you know this is all worth of Storytelling I don't know that art but there is definitely the locking them in and I've seen you do it and I've seen you do it uh in the middle of a windy baseball field which is not easy I don't think I don't think Mark Twain ever did that you know I don't think Mark Twain ever played played the venues you you played on those so you know you're really good at that so don't you know like don't think like you know hey you know it's like uh you know I need more this or that it's like you know what you're doing and uh you know let's face it the crowd comes to see it you know did you can you did you ever think stand-up comedy would be where it is today with that's a great question man of uh in terms of how big it is that and how how almost like how much you have to be like a a producer to be a comedian these days you have to be I mean when I started when I started it was just I I didn't even know dudes did the road really I I honestly I thought you moved to New York you did stand up out of New York and then you just became great and then you could do some corporates or you do a sitcom but I didn't know I didn't know there was like a whole bunch of funny bones yeah I didn't know about that and now I look at it and I go it's gotten so different it's unrecognizable almost I I totally agree that's a really uh you know we could talk about that for um not hours but at least for this hour yeah uh but uh yeah like comedy is so different from when I started it's not like just another old man talking but I never knew it would be so um first of all it's very relevant and like I never I'm not I haven't been relevant in like 20 years but I feel like everybody you know has a point and like there's a lot of different um you know uh ways that comedy kind of intersects now with the the times we live in you know which I guess is good for me I'm always just about the joke the funny and all that yeah but for uh uh uh I guess the audience is now kind of expect that that there's going to be a point to it or like a meaning and like you know to me that is that is the tiresome element of it of where like people are always reading too hard into jokes but in terms of like the business of Comedy like when I started it all I wanted to do was get on the road I thought that's what being a comic was being like a rode National headliner like that was the end game of it like the people I kind of looked up to like Richard Jenny or um you know some of these other like just like power Headliners were out on the road like you know playing you know exotic places like Atlanta you know I'm from Long Island so you know it's like I'm going to be in Atlanta you know I'm going to be in Kansas City Missouri you know I was like whoa dude I want to get so that was what I was hoping to do but the sitcom thing was there also because Seinfeld was big and uh you know all the all the comics thought that like it's only a matter of time it's like at my sitcom and you realize how special that situation was the the combination of Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld together and that that doesn't happen all the time you know so a lot of these guys like moved out to LA and they kind of just basically you know uh spin their wheels you know what I'm saying but for me it was always about the road it was like trying to be like you know like Kennison or somebody like you know like just out there like power act kind of thing and as a club comic you know there are always clubs but there never were as many clubs as there are now and then the jump to theaters like I never saw that like I don't even remember going to a theater show when I was a kid other than um Rodney Dangerfield you know what I'm saying like seeing him like in a Westbury Music Theater on Long Island you know other than that it was really just like UT got a club or something you know or on TV like HBO or the high Network you know before Comedy Central but the actual thing that you do and do really well is that you know you you got it right away with content you know which is that like you know the audience always wants more and the stuff that you provide them is interesting and funny and it gives them a peek into your world you know so that to me is like when you when you line up everything together but in terms of like seeing comedy how like you know these Mega tours and of course Chappelle like you know who is the I think comic of Our Generation this guy breaking all attendance records Hollywood Bowl like a Madison Square Garden like just Anderson amounts of shows like that and like to me I'm like I never thought that this was I would live to see this kind of stuff and I mean it's just crazy to think you know how many Comics are doing theaters exactly you and Louis and you guys saved the theater world that's what I think because before that I was like oh wow look who's here Spyro Gyra you know or like some other kind of like you know oh the uh the the Chinese gymnasts are in town they're coming to Terrytown New York you know that kind of thing that is crazy to think that's an actually real thing that's right it's comedy because comedy is super cheap to produce exactly all you need is a mic and a stool yes and that's it and there's so many Comics doing theaters that I'm I remember when I got the offer to do theaters I remember talking to you about when you were talking we were talking about theaters yeah and I remember being like I just would rather stay in clubs I was like this when I first got the offer I was like it doesn't make sense you might lose money you you got a promoter now involved it was so much easier when you just got your door deal there was no no fear of not making that money back you just had a door deal you get 80 of the doors 60 of the door and uh and now it's I mean now Arenas I mean that's yeah it's an arena it's it's Arenas it's also like really cool um you know I still think to this day that like even during the pandemic people tried it which is the virtual comedy that didn't work I I don't think that that's the future of it I think it's the live show now and always you know so and uh do you feel comfortable like in an arena because that is like a whole different animal well I just took Fitzsimmons with me oh he's great he's a good friend of mine to do yeah to do um we were doing something's burning and and uh someone fell out and he we needed someone to to do the arena we do uh Tampa Savannah and Orlando oh cool and so and they were Orlando and Tampa are like the bigger two of the bigger ones I've ever done yeah and I told Greg I said you should he I was like are you free next weekend he's like yeah I go let's go and it's it's so big in scope of all of it because you realize you are it there's you're a like a pro athlete you enter in a different way they have catering set up for you you have massage therapists if you want them that you have the access to the gym but I spent extra on this tour and I think we'll have it for fully loaded to have a full production crew there so I have a crew of like 12 and then a production manager who make a stage put up huge um they I travel with my own um I travel with three semis and then two tour buses and it and you and you really feel the difference in intimacy because we have a light package that creates boundaries so it puts a roof on it I understand yeah and then and then we have two huge screens that are full-size body screens in vertical and so I I Greg got off and he was like he's like uh I go it feels intimate and it is a big arena but there is an intimacy to it especially when you add production and you get the sound dialed in yeah it really um but I love them I [ __ ] love them cool well you you you look comfortable doing them you know it seems like that's your house so it's great that you do like for us for the club guy getting into the arena like I've done ones like uh I think we've all done the um Circle in the round you know all those different like variations on the on the Arena Theater you know big big uh big venue thing and uh I guess my my funny story is that uh you know doing circling around is great if you sell out otherwise like you telling a joke and then you do the punchline to no one you know so you gotta time it where there's like all these empty seats so there's like one super fans or just weird weird dude sitting there where it's like you know and that's what my mother said and he's like you have a conversation with this one weirdo basically but uh I would say that you're I you know like you know you know me and you kind of know what what my weird weird [ __ ] is is that uh I like it when it's weird I like it when it's like that's why like when we did the baseball field I was like oh this is my I love this this is like weird it's kind of like you know you see in all these like these like kind of a little it's a little too chilly plus I don't think they've been out in a while to look to their like a little pasty it's Rochester right Rochester yeah so you're like this is kind of my world I like it like this it was Father's Day I think Georgia was with us and Georgia I was me Georgia and big J watching you oh yeah well Jay's another like you know I think he's he's a one of a kind you know exactly yeah and and Georgia you were you were doing you were doing crowd work but using the backdrop of the city yeah do you remember it but there was a community college that was behind us right and you were like oh looks like someone went to and Georgia turns around and Jay goes wait what and Georgia goes dad is using the city yeah yeah and she goes Jay goes he's you know if you didn't like that one pray to the cross the glowing cross above the mountain to the left and but he was like that was that you're right that is fun to watch you in a different environment yeah it's almost like it distracts you from your jokes and it allows you to play in the thing it was really keeps it interesting for me because that's really the whole thing of like doing it like now I've been doing it for like over 30 years is that like it's got to be interesting that's why I keep changing up these jokes like different punch lines and setups and all this stuff but at the end of the day like I was I had somebody I go like you know I'm putting some tape down can you listen to my old stuff because I can't and it's like I have the same like you know it's like vibrators uh what more strip club you know it's always like the same topics you know and I'm like damn I gotta get out there and you know like learn how to sail or something you know I need something to mix this up but I would say at the at the end of the day when you do the venue and how well you treat the acts that you bring with you that's like the gold standard and I'm not just saying it because like I'm in your semi-finished house here and I'm talking to me I'm saying like I told everybody I go like you know I've been on a bunch of Tours you know I've done like uh you know tours on my own and all that different stuff but what you you go above and beyond to make everyone feel as though they are the headliner and also like to make it fun you know and I know there was uh there was so many different types of comics on it which I thought was really a great way to like you know get a get a bigger audience you know give a bit of of uh whatever and there were people that I've never seen before so it's great to get a chance to watch them but at the end of the day it was really just about like you know having fun with bird and I figured that's when I told you I go like you should have like your own Summer Olympics or something you know like you should do something go like from town to town have challenges you know I would like I would enjoy that story I know you would I would love that so it's for me it was it's it I'm when so when we started it's really Leanne uh Leanne was like uh we started to do fully loaded and she said um oh whatever money that we're supposed to get from our my from the door to like whatever money we pull in from tickets yeah just put that back in the festival she goes and she was like just make it like think how would you like it like if you were on the tour would you like and I was like oh I know what I'd like and I started saying it and I think Leanne looked at it and she's like she's the one thing she loved is the the gift baskets right because she knows that just how much a little thing a little acknowledgment means when you're a comic oh for sure it's like the littlest thing means so much and so so she said well then don't worry we don't need to make money on this Festival we can just uh invest whatever money we're supposed to make put it back in the festival and make it fun for the comics and she was like and she goes I think there's Goodwill in you know when I started and this is something that's changed in comedy a lot like no one wanted to everyone wanted to be the funniest comic and I think it's changed now everyone just loves great Comics you know like everyone you mean the the uh the comics themselves the comics like I think everyone wanted to be the star and I think it's changed a little bit in that it's and I think it's because podcasting is that if when you have funny people on your podcast it helps you right so I think like what was it the tide raises all boats true and that was my favorite part I mean my favorite part of that whole festival was sitting with Georgia getting to watch you and big J and [ __ ] Shane Gillis and I mean to watch Georgia laugh as Shane Gillis she's not supposed to like him right she is not supposed to like a semi-q and on yeah yeah well he's also a great comic and he also like brilliant you know he's you know when you when you think of it like I'm trying to think of the the movie that would be where a guy was like you know many twists and turns of comedies the highs and lows he's kind of the Lucas you know saying like where he like you know kind of had like a uh you know a rough start but now he found his audience and they can't get enough of the guy and you know I've seen him work in the city and I've tried to like like I do with all the comics engaged with them like either on stage and like like when I mix it up with uh Jeff Ross you know we do the bumping mic thing it's not like we we just do that for the tour we used we started doing that in clubs and I do with other Comics as well like we always like want to include everybody and like you know get them up there for like you know a couple of minutes or whatever and just you know Rail and riff and all that kind of stuff that's the fun of uh that keeps my brain working that kind of stuff but with Shane you know he's like you know he's so like I guess you could say like he's locked in you know what I'm trying to like kind of like you know get out of it you know come on have a have a moment have some fun but I would say that he's just getting started there's a lot of guys now that like I think because of the world we live in where even if the main platforms don't um don't get it that the audience will bring them to a point where like they'll be undeniable you know yeah so that's like a whole other conversation but in terms of what you do and these venues and these tours and things like that it's like remember years ago like you know you go to Just for Laughs you know it's like hey I'm gonna be there for 10 days I don't even know how to pack for 10 days and like you know it's like jug and drinking and all that kind of stuff and they speak a weird language what's that and that became like you know the the like Festival now I'm like I've been to skank Fest that was great that was great you couldn't ask for better crowds it was like these these people waiting in the Sun and if you look at them you're like what are they waiting for you know it's like it looks like a methadone line but they're super fans yeah super polite even the guy who ran the venue and that's Jay and Christine they you know that's their thing with Lewis Gomez and all and the whole and the legionist Gang people they no comedy they respect it and almost they respected a little too much you know they'll stand for show after show after show I've never seen anything like that in the heat waiting online it was really kind of like what's up with this you know and they're legit comedy fans they are like the Super Friends did that when did when do you think comedy fans showed up because like when when you when when I moved to New York I moved to New York in 1997 I think 1998 I don't know you'd get the odd guy that went to NYU that loved comedy but you didn't have like comedy fans the way you have comedy fans now I totally agree with that like I'm trying to think of it because you just kind of activated something by saying that it's like every show was like like a kind of good show on a Friday where like a lot of couples there's a bunch of guys drinking there's some guys who were kicked out of a strip club now they're there that was everything yeah and then there was that one comedy fan you know the guy who like you know I've listened to every album that you know Robert Klein did and he would try and engage with you about like you know comedy Theory and things like that but other than that it was definitely more of a party like you know it was like something you did like you know next weekend you're gonna do something else but like we went to a comedy show it's it's supposedly hot maybe we'll see whatever the one person they knew from television you know like yeah came in or if like if like Raymond mono stepped in it was such a they'd be like oh I know that guy for sure especially West Coast because there's so many big names this way you know but like I would say I don't know I I I think it was definitely um after 9 11 I don't know I think it was like further into the 2000s it was definitely not in the 90s it was like that I think it was like it it was like one of those things where maybe maybe the platforms you know like uh uh Twitter and stuff like that also help build that you know and like you said the podcasting it was crazy because you would it's it's the funnest thing to like I remember people going to uh my show back in the like right when I first started telling it selling tickets and it felt like comedy was becoming popular because of the podcast maybe and someone's like uh you're my favorite comic and I was like who else do you like and they're like you're the only one I've seen and I went oh wow yeah that's how you you don't realize what's out there they're so much better I was like don't don't go see Bill Burr well isn't it funny how like I always ask the same thing because when I'm on the merch line you know like I go who else have you seen and they know a bunch and then there's also like you know the um they're not so rare but the one that always makes me excited the Doug Stanhope fan which is like you know I saw Doug and this kind of stuff so I immediately bring them up another notch of like comedy fan and there's a couple of people out there that are are really you know to be honest like when I know they're coming to every show at a weekend like they'll go I'll be back tomorrow yeah you're like okay I gotta mix it up again where can I what do I gotta do I gotta come up with some other bits coming to me this weekend the guy goes uh I wrote a joke about when I wrote One joke about Winnipeg one [ __ ] joke I apologize to anyone in Winnipeg and uh and I'm sure someone's written this I'm sure there's someone this joke's been done what Winnipeg no no no that joke gold mine no I said Winnipeg uh is a little bit of a depressing place I saw a snowman with a hair dryer to his head and uh and this I did it I I've just been to Winnipeg I couldn't tell Winnipeg I'm now in Calgary I do it on the first show it gets a laugh and then I do it on the second show the guy goes you already did that joke oh [ __ ] and I went and uh no I'm I'm like wait did I have I told that twice this show and he was like no the other show do more new stuff and I was like I want to go buddy that's not how it works you you I don't do this show based on what you've seen yeah like they haven't seen they weren't at the first show yeah really yeah and so and then but then I'm in my head going like oh my God I gotta write some I gotta put some new stuff up here and so I started adding stuff and uh but I I'm I'm hyper aware of like those that one guy who's a Die Hard who comes to vote she gets in your head yeah yeah it really affects it it does but but I think that's a good joke I like that it was it was it was uh it was what you call it like the other thing is when you see the front row and they're not laughing at all and you're like what's with these people they paid extra money to be that close didn't they yeah well you know how am I not whatever and then you engage with him and it becomes this whole thing of like you know like I have to start like you know kind of like riffing with him and everything like that and they kind of put their head down and everything and I'm like uh why why did that happen and they're the ones after the show like I've seen you like in a little in like 10 cities and like I've traveled to see you and this kind of stuff and you're like wow so they just it's almost like they wanna it's like uh I hate to say it but like a call to prayer like they just sit there and they're like yes and now he's gonna say something about cantaloupe you know I don't know so but yeah hey um the the one thing that I do like about you is that you engage with the crowd you know a lot of these guys it's like you know this is a performance piece and like you know you just happen to be here and there's a lot of specials like that too now which is like oh there's an audience here okay you know but it's really about their you know truth or whatever they're talking about yeah I don't I don't uh I whatever need that I need I I'm doing it for whatever need I have to fill right so like I feel like sometimes it's I said to I said to Fitzsimmons and Savannah it sounds so silly I said I'm jealous I'm jealous of them because I would love to be with my wife and be excited for my thing and be going to see my thing like like how much are you you mean like the you see it from their point of view I see from their point of view and I go I love going to I love going to a baseball stadium I love getting hot dogs I love going to football games I love all of that and I feel like you know when you when you start off as a as a football player use football as an example you're a fan of football you love going to football games and then one day you're no longer at the football games you are the football game and I think I loved comedy so much I loved going back in the back of the seller and being anonymous and just sitting at that back table watching my favorite Comics go up I mean like I remember I remember I I mean just so much of like being a fan of Comedy yeah that I go I would love to be able to have my night with my my wife by like five days ago I'm about to introduce you to my favorite comic and I think that's what I get to do with fully loaded is feel like I sit in the back and I just watch everyone do stand up Nikki Glaser took her shirt off and did a topless last year and really yeah she goes [ __ ] it she ripped her top off and she was like and and Georgia and the girls were losing and then it's fun that's great she was Nikki's [ __ ] awesome yeah she's another person who I feel like the venue like the theater and like the the the uh what you call it like it just takes it to the next level which I think so yeah you know who's coming out this year with us Lewis Black oh that's awesome yeah I tour with Lewis and Mitch Hedberg years and years ago and like the one person on that tour who really knew how to work a theater was Lewis Black yeah and since that tour he's been out on the road you know he is the he is like when I look to like who tours it's like Lewis is always out there you know and um he was the one guy who like knew how to work at theater because it's so different than a club and like you know when you're a joke guy especially like you're throwing jokes out there and you're hoping till I kind of hear the same wave coming back at you like it doesn't happen all the time sometimes you're just up there like you know basically trying to like lock them in and like move forward and all that kind of stuff for me you know that's why the club is so good because it's immediate you know yeah and I guess that spoils you but for you I was gonna say you know when I when I think of the crowds that come down especially the commie seller like you know I don't know how long did you live in New York a year okay well you probably get out you probably got out when the going was good because right now it's a filthy mess over there but the seller is huge yeah and like um these people that come from all over and there's people who actually come in with their rolling bags right from the airport for real and they're like sitting there and they're like you know they wanted it they heard about it or they're meeting friends there and this is like the big event of their trip and then there's some locals but you see less and less locals now but the New York comedy scene is strong and it's good it's good for guys like me who like you know I'm you know already a seasoned comic and the new people plenty open mics seems to be a lot of stage time there for people in terms of like crowd I would say that the seller has become more and more you know I don't want to use the word woke but it definitely is sensitive oh for real where you're like these things should be kicking it in New York and I'm like you know I did this joke in Iowa and it was like you know huge or I did in Richmond Virginia or something like that and then in New York you could see just the change of like you know we know this is inappropriate which kind of sucks for me since I play there pretty much every night I'm not on the road so I'm like you know you know what am I doing here I get that a lot I like to go on last so I'm not like you know can I say a [ __ ] block on anybody else I'm not getting in anyone's way so if I totally make it a mess you know it's like if they skip much if there's a skid mark on the bed it's mine that's what I like to say you know it's like well how did this happen yeah so I'm the guy who ruins it you know that's why I like to go on at the end it also is really getting harder and harder to follow the new Comics I don't know if you're having this when you do like showcases so it's like it helps me step up the game you know I was wondering I was wondering because I this is going to sound silly I'm sure it's good that we have all the construction going on now I think it adds a sense of value I think it does urgency I still get nervous to bomb in front of people because it's not your crowd that's what it is yeah and so I go well I'll show you how to do it first when do you want me to meet you in New York um but but it's like how what percentage of of new stuff are you trying a night I would say that you know although the last month has been trying to get my stuff together and I I really you know to be honest like I I'm super critical and I really am like um I think but I think I don't I don't really like anything I do but I was like you know I don't think I did some of these jokes right and I really feel like they're like my little like children and everything like that so I'm like I'm at least hoping the jokes look good the actual special together like who knows it might be all over the place but the actual like putting them all together I hope that looks okay for the audience and also just for all the people that are gonna be like there's gonna be a lot of editing I mean even though it's two shows it always turns into editing and stuff like that but what I was gonna say uh for you that like you know the the wave of this them being so excited to see you is one thing and I've seen Chris Rock work his stuff out there and this guy really does the homework I mean like Chris really goes out when he's about to like go on tour or like he just did that streaming thing which is probably something that a guy like you should do I'm not as this crash and like I couldn't I couldn't do just one show like okay well like I I actually am the exact opposite of Chris is that if you uh I I can always have a good show but but I think I notice [ __ ] ups in my show that I wouldn't want yes I do four shows like that's the best shows yeah because I want to make sure I have it see I wish I had another two that would have been really good for me but could only afford uh two instead of four but towards the four is The Sweet Spot tell me when you're ready for next one and I'll I'll produce it and I'll pay for it because I [ __ ] I as I'm not even [ __ ] around I uh we're doing that with Shane Torres Leanne loves Shane Torres I love Shane Torres Shane's great I saw him last night yeah he wanted to do a special and uh and Leanne was like it was like and I'm just the way the finances were working out it didn't seem like Shane was gonna own it and Leanne's like I ain't letting that happen she was like we'll pay for it and I was like what she goes I'll pay for it we'll pay for it and let him own it wow it's like okay and so we're making his next week in Brooklyn um uh this reminds me of uh Apple records a lot of good intentions yeah get a good accountant Father's Day is around the corner and one thing is for sure dad's got enough ties tools baggy tees this year give Dad the father figure the mentor the loved one in your life the gift of looking good and feeling good with true classic dads come in all shapes and sizes but if there's one thing these these guys are good at it's a great fitting t-shirt for everybody true classic shirts are Ultra Soft fit in the arms and shoulders just enough room where you need it for the perfect fit and feel every time bundle and save on your packs of favorite styles from button Downs to Henley's to polos I wore one yesterday I wore one I I put on a shirt and then someone's like is that blood on your shirt and I was like crap grabbed a really nice black it was a different cotton than I've normally worn with uh with they've got different Cottons and this one was nice and Slick I look skinny man and I I whenever I said a t-shirt I never feel like I look skinny true Classics has hooking up our listeners with an exclusive deal to get you ahead on gifting for a limited time only get 25 off with the code bird at trueclassic.com that's 25 off with the code Bert plus free shipping included on purchases over a hundred dollars this show is sponsored by betterhelp it is so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and never take a moment to think about what you need from yourself silence silence is something I need for myself I found that out in therapy I was talking to my therapist about what do I need what do I like we did a list of what do I need gratitude I've been it's it's therapy can really get you out of a hole especially if you're if you're if you're it doesn't even need to be that deep of a hole I texted my therapist today and I was like yo can we do Saturday I do entirely online therapy and I love online therapy I swear by it because I don't have to leave my house unless get in the car listen if you're thinking about starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief question here to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge which is so valuable it took me one two three four therapists until I found the one I work with now and I've been working with him since I got fired from Travel Channel before since before I got fired from Travel Channel find more balance with better help visit betterhelp.com Bert today to get 10 off your first month that's betterhelp help help.com when you do the 30 minutes do you have a do you have a way that are you thinking of what joke next what joke next what joke next well you know with me it's mostly the Wardrobe tell us a story no I um I really don't know it's like I just I do know what jokes you wanted to put in this set well I had I had the jokes that I wanted to like okay I'm kind of done telling them and then you know I don't know if you have the same problem where it's like you know you tell a joke and it's like hey that's funny and then something happens in the news and now it's like hate speech you know it's a Manifesto It's like you know whatever like like why would you even think that when this happened so you know it's like all my train derailment stuff gone you know that kind of thing like it's like wow Whoa man you know it's like there goes 10 minutes so I would say since most of your stuff is personal and family you know I I think that the crowd loves a peak on the inside of the business to me personally I'm not that good about like you know hey this what's happening when I'm not on sale you know like I said but for you you've already done that you know with the family and everything like that so keep that coming the other thing would be like coming up with material talk to them and go like you know it's not easy it's not easy about coming up with material a lot of people like hey we'll just go out and you know like whatever buy a car tell us about it and it's like a lot more difficult than that so I think that they also would respect that though like you know hey you know what I'm always trying to bring new stuff to you guys yeah but for the special and I know the special we still all consider it special even though it seems like some people put them out every six months or something like that it still is like for us yeah like doing HBO was a big deal for me and like um you know that's what I thought was the end game of Comedy which is like you're an HBO comic you know you're like with Carl and all that kind of stuff it's like I'm nowhere near any of that stuff after the One HBO thing I did I was like wow oh man was that tough it was not to my crowd it was like one of those things of like you know they just kind of threw you up there and like double teamed it like me and Norton who's a great comic too so Norton and I was like man that didn't feel good to me you know it's like I thought these were supposed to be like a Victory lap that was almost like an audition for an hour you know so I would say for you why don't you just start writing down like um you know like the things you want to talk about and then try and ease them into what you're doing already and then when you do these like 20-minute sets then you'll be able to see it clear more clearly because listening to a 20-minute set is way better than listening to like an hour like when I'm on the road when I listen to the hours and I'm like oh my God how much more time many times do I have to hear that one and like you know this is like just like distraction you know yeah but don't don't be so hard on yourself you'll definitely have have a I mean you control all all parts of it so if it's not if it's not where you want it you'll edit it and if it's uh whatever then you should you know just basically give yourself a break and like try and get it the way you want it before you even get there you know I feel like I feel like I wish I was better at writing uh shorter jokes because I feel I would love I think they I think they're so valuable I think so so many people these days are looking at I feel like everyone wants to be a long form Storyteller and I think sugar and I would have talked about this there's nothing better than having something getting in and out like just like a stabbing like a like a quick that's what I did paper cuts I call it yeah it's like death by a thousand paper cuts but it really is exhausting and it's also they all don't fit together and I think that the crowd like you know the crowd loves oh well here's something you know like a third third person kind of story where somebody came up to me and they were like thinking of doing comedy and like you know I'm also a uh you know public speaker or something like that and I was like being supportive like supposed to be for new comics and at some point the conversation ago like joke's permitted or over and I said like well I've never heard a crowd go like you know what leaving go like too many jokes I was laughing too much and you know like we're both right because in today's world of Comedy like you can watch a special and laugh five times like the rest of it is really about like stories and like things they want to say whereas I think we kind of grew up with the idea of like you know where the laughs you know like and you almost feel like uh you know a caveman saying that now like but where are the laughs and when I did uh when I did secret time I literally was thinking to myself because I was just so I would watch other specials and I I feel like if you're not I feel like there's not enough people critical of themselves these days I feel like though I feel like everything's been and uh when when I started that everyone was very critical of how they did yeah and then you'd watch the guy come off stage and go just murdered and all of us would be like like he's he's didn't see the same fight I saw yeah well I I I agree with that and I also think that like as a guy who who actively hates himself that I don't know how these people go on stage and and and basically leave with such confidence after like um you know like whatever they're doing and I'm like well you know there's some great ideas there or like some of that stuff needs like two like a tune-up you know it needs to be tweeted and then they're like no I got it like that's that's what it is you know and a lot of it is like you know I guess uh magical thinking you know I guess I think it's I think I think back in the day you had to have jokes to get a fan base and now you can get a fan base before you have jokes and so I think people go out and they'll sell the tickets and because they sold the tickets they're like so like I'm I'm selling tickets that's what matters I think it I I started at a time when you would be funny but you could not sell a ticket well I'll take it even a step further back which is like back when the club Owners controlled and ruled comedy where you know it was basically you know people talk about like you know who you know The Gatekeepers it's like you know some guy running like uh you know um an Italian restaurant with uh with a with a catering hall in the back and returning to the comedy club on the weekend he'd be like he ain't funny you know I don't like that type of humor my crowd doesn't whatever that would be considered hate speech now of like what you didn't get the fact that this person is speaking for a marginalized group and blah blah blah they'd be like whoa whoa whoa there'd be a picket there'd be people picking in the club but back then it was like you know I don't get it and if my kitchen guy doesn't laugh at it it ain't funny there'll be all these like you know these guys who had like what they considered funny you know they wanted to see a version of whoever you know like you know it's like we're the props I don't see a puppet what's going on out there you know these people they're paying good money they want to laugh you know yeah and that was in your face it wasn't like through a tweet it was like it was you and him as guys were washing dishes going back and forth you know what hey I'm sorry it's not working out you're just not that good how many bad Vegas shows have you ever done where it's like the crowd's just sitting there they're broke losers and the guy's like you know you couldn't get him going I guess you don't got it you know what I'm saying it was like one of those like okay I used to do the I used to do shows on the the old Vegas trip yeah you want to talk about [ __ ] down on their luck been a casino in uh in in uh in Cedar Rapids in uh in Iowa Davenport Iowa called Penguins do you remember Penguins yes I did and there was a casino in there and I remember seeing people coming out of the casino it was next door it was next door people seeing and I remember looking at a casino going what in the world makes any of these people think they're gonna find good luck tonight they've never been lucky once in their lives yes and like you're in a wheelchair you have diabetes he's got a [ __ ] uh steel lung next to you and you think tonight's gonna be the night but I I agree I I I remember a uh an owner I won't say his name but uh he was like I don't know they were talking about Patrice and he's like I'm not bringing a black guy he didn't use the word black guy really yeah oh yeah he was like no no because I don't want that all I don't want that crowd here right and I remember another comic saying that he doesn't he's doesn't he's not he's you're thinking he's Steve Harvey he's not Steve Harvey he's just a great comic right and he appeals to everyone everyone shows up and he was like can you believe they tried to tell me to bring Patrice in and I was like yeah he's [ __ ] hilarious well yeah that's that was another thing where like he would go up against the bias of the of the uh of the of the club owner but I always listen to the I listen to the staff because and I also listen to The Clubhouse because they especially during the pandemic they really took a beating I mean it was like when you think about like what we do it's like you know hey you know it was terrible you know I got bills my mom has dementia I have to pay round clock care and I was getting nervous but I was like you know I talked to these club guys the guys are on the club like you know I'm trying to take care of my staff you know yeah like um I'll name my name Allison in DC at DC abroad which is probably my best Market and my best favorite room there's a couple around the country where it's just like those are like still my Hubs you know what I'm saying yeah and like she's great and she's an angel and you know her like going above and beyond for her staff you know during that year year and a half two years whatever it was you know you you feel for him and you go like you know here I am I got like my responsibility but to have responsibility for so many you know and uh to take it back to the fun bad old days of Comedy it would be like you know you would follow a local you know let's call them like you know basically a guy a hack you know and he would hit all the numbers and you're trying to be like you know um I started on Long Island in New York so it was definitely a uh you know disconnect between the two whereas like well it's funny on Long Island was not particularly funny in New York really yeah it was like you know like first of all like people knowing that you lived in New York was like whoa what's that about you know oh hold on a second you know I'm coming from Suffolk County here and like you were following magicians you were following ventriloquist it was basically all the dark arts of Comedy you know your father like a guy would raise a cat from the dead you know like all these different things get expanding Ovations you know people would do uh lip syncing all that kind of stuff yeah and then you would be up there with your New York jokes you know the subway is I don't go on the subway I drive it you know that kind of thing so I don't know man I feel like the hardening of Comedy I'm so glad I went through all that the hardening of it but now like when you go into these these new rooms it's like the different feel to it which is like they're so quiet they're so basically walled off I'm talking about these younger crowds yeah where they really have like it's almost like an emotional distance where you know you have you have teenage children right so I assume that's like when you're like trying to have like a teachable moment with them with it just kind of like nodding but you know they're not yeah they're always right for sure that was what that was what was fun and you know last night randomly uh Isla asked if she could come out and work in the ferfully loaded because Georgia did last year with her friends for sure that I was like can I come with a friend and we'll work and I was like yeah of course because the fun thing is and and Shane was the one that the first person they saw where they felt like they weren't supposed to laugh like and they felt guilty for laughing and it was it was his joke about um I think it was about about the uh the uh I'm not gonna I think he's already told it somewhere about him loving history and going to an old uh Antebellum Mansion right and interacting with a black dude and Georgia went like this and I went don't hold your mouth it's okay to laugh and she goes well no dad that's horrible and I went yeah but you but do you see the thing that happened when you started laughing you're laughing because it caught you off guard and it made that's the that's an involuntary reaction so don't try to squash it let it happen it really it really you know I don't have kids but I could see how that really would get not only annoying but almost like this is your business funniest my business and if my own kids don't like get it or don't wanna or feel like there's something impeding them from laughing I I could see how that would be really really hurtful you know what I'm saying like it really must emotionally touch you you know and I said listen it you know Shane won't be for everyone I'm not saying that you and your girlfriends are going to be big Shane Gillis fans but like you'll find your person that you like and then and then and but but I go but if you don't just because Society tells you that what Shane's talking about is wrong don't stop from that laughter if you're starting to laugh let it happen right and then and then you went on and you said uh I like a hairy bush get that joke I wanted to do dirty yeah and George and her friends [ __ ] how laughing sure and watching you and then and then it was really cool because I think she got it she watched big J and Big J and made a joke about uh Demi Lovato and and [ __ ] they laughed and they were and by the end I was like [ __ ] finally like you and but I think all those kids are being inundated with this is how like acceptance and and this is how we need to treat each other and this is uh like pronoun like they all have their pronouns everywhere and if you say it like we had a friend a friend of ours uh Sandy was like uh who's Chinese and Vietnamese and she's like it didn't doesn't I don't get pronouns and then their kids light her up and they're like Mom Mom you can't say that so guys don't get them they really are doing that that's not like just something like you know you hear about like you actually have to live that life huh yeah wow yeah and imagine like you know uh our my friend Sandy grew up in Boston in the 70s and she was Chinese but from Vietnam a Chinese immigrant from Vietnam in Boston yeah imagine her life was brutal and to be explained to by children is but and Sandy's a good person she'll like listen and have a conversation with her kids she's [ __ ] way better than me I wrote a joke about [ __ ] Elliot page and Georgia just went no and I went I was like you don't [ __ ] tell me no George I was like this [ __ ] pays for all you like if I want to tell that joke I'll tell that [ __ ] joke well you know uh I I like that you uh you're like having this these moments with them about like you know what is funny whatever but it's also generational it's like music in a way it's like what they grew up with is what they're gonna like think is and then when it changes they're gonna be like what happened to that and all that kind of stuff it's like in terms of this heard that Perry Farrell sucked the dude's dick I remember being like like so this is my generation like it's not gonna be cool with that exactly I'm like I'm like you know the comedy like I was thinking of like old red fox stuff yeah and how like you know like this is like this is like just for me now I guess you know like all those different things and people always bring up Carlin and Carl and Carl and Carl but it's like you know to be honest like the Vegas Colin the one that he said I'm done with this because I was like this guy was like a joke per minute machine yeah he had bits he was able to do all that kind of stuff so it's like it's not like he he like said you know I'm never like a lot of these I think Comics that start out go like I'm not gonna be that kind of guy I'm gonna be this thoughtful of stories and I have a point so but it's like you do have to kind of learn a little bit of the craft in terms of like you know how to write a joke how to tell a joke how to work a crowd all those things are kind of like in terms of what we do that's part of the job you know yeah and I'm not telling anybody like how to do their thing because that's one thing Kami can never do is like you do what you do buddy you know like who am I look look where I am I'm a guy I'm a guy standing at a Holiday Inn Express all right so whatever you think you you want to do do it and the crowd will tell you yes or no but I think for the younger kids they have so many no's in their head right now of like you can't talk about this and I've seen it where I'm on a roll and I'll like just go like I'm gonna throw more in you know getting greedy like 8 11 of this so I'm gonna tag it and tag it and tag it and then you'll hit the one tag where it's like you know and then like you you know the uh Baptist preacher said to the uh you know whatever and then you'll say the one like ethnicity that they're not allowed to like you know talk about they're like boom done over you know whatever you feel like they're iPads like they turned it off like it's like that's it you know yeah it's so you know that kind of humor is definitely really a toss-up now you know I think so some of you some of your most inappropriate jokes have one made me fall off a treadmill one time really yeah it was a joke uh it was a joke it was a joke that you had told but Yoshi was telling Tom Segura on a podcast and I listened to it and I fell off I think that's the [ __ ] thing that I can't I understand is that for me comedy was always about the the shock of it the surprise the I didn't see that coming of it right which is which is what makes the which which I don't understand with kids not getting that like like we know Louis got in trouble for that school shooting joke right and I read it and I laughed out loud and I went what what to say about me like I laughed out loud I read it and I went that's a good [ __ ] joke I I um you know I have a lot of jokes of course that like I'm like you know how could I have said that and all that kind of stuff because I I feel bad like I hate when that when people leave and they go like you know they're they're like like I hate tossing anybody I would never toss anybody out of the room either I can handle it or it's a situation where they have to leave but it's not like one of those like somebody you know coughed while I was on get them out like I'm not that that guy it's like I have the training like you know especially that Long Island training of like dealing with the crowd that's that was part of it but the other the other thing I would say is like you know people quote jokes and then they use it to go like can you believe this guy and I'll tell this joke and it's like you know people people you like use the jokes now as like to to promote their own like you know agenda you know like and this guy said this I mean that's wrong it's like they're using the material to like you know whether they like it or not they're retelling the joke so uh with stories since like you and Jay are like great storytellers I really do think that that like it's hard to quote a story you know it's like you got to be there and you got to do it but I've had a million of my jokes you know tweeted and like retold and repurposed and all that kind of stuff and at the end of the day like you know should I feel good about it probably not I should be being like you know well come see it and really see what it was you know and you know unfortunately you know I could I could care less about like the web and all that kind of stuff but I really do hate like when people like Jack my stuff you know it's like I want them to hear it the way it was meant to be heard in no other way you know and I think that's why we all get in trouble is when they take it out of context and they also like kind of put more more of their own agenda on the other emphasis on the on the thing that you're not supposed to hear and you go no that's not that's not what I'm saying but you know what you should always say to like you know not your daughter but whatever it's like so you have all these things in your head now all these like different like you know your brain has been fixed now to make it a better world are you happy are you sitting around laughing your ass off all day long and all these all these like you know watered-down like it must be hard you must have to change your underwear from pissing your pants all day long from all these little half little little fun funs that you're allowed to listen to you know these little sillies and tickles we watched uh Ace Venture have you seen any Adventure yeah so we watched Ace Venture with the girls over pandemic yeah and it's a very different movie when you watch it with like woke children and they they really take the teeth out of it or put teeth in it where they don't belong so the visit starts and then at first they go is he like uh special needs what do you mean they're like well I mean are we allowed to laugh at him yeah are we allowed to laugh at him and I was like yeah maybe that's a joke and they're like yeah but I mean like is it he's gonna be okay right we're like oh yeah yeah like and that never crossed my mind when I watched that I just started laughing as a kid the best is at the end when they find out that Ray Finkel is Einhorn that the remember at the end they find out that the female detective is a dude and he pulls her skirt down and then turns around and shows her dick and oh that is hooked up with her and they're all throwing up they're like oh wow the girls are just like what a time capsule fans right and we're like yeah it's such a [ __ ] it's so not meant for these kids these days and it and same thing happened you know this is gonna sound crazy so how about this since they remake the movie now where it is made for them or how about they come up with their own idea of what a pet detective is in today's why is it always a reboot of a classic that worked yeah right like you know they're redoing Roadhouse right I saw that so what is that going to be some talking to some de-escalations is there going to be a fight will there be one fight in that movie will he will he hook up will it be the guy banging the chick in the way in the storage room probably not none of that you're not gonna throw it out of the guy and murder him will there be a blind musician behind the cage I doubt any of that I doubt any of that will be in there they'll repurpose it they'll re-reboot it they'll put in today's whatevers you know I'm really surprised uh that Top Gun worked you know I really was like it was like well you know what's crazy they couldn't have Russians or for sure they had to have the the other side was no one knows who we were fighting who are they nobody knows you can't put you can't put Pakistani or not Pakistani Afghani whoever right Afghan Fighters they try to make Russian Fighters they tried to make it all uh you know it was really just about like you know him doing what he does you know so at the end of the day like I I gave up on all these movies anytime they say this is like a classic redone I'm like wow forget it why where are all these great new ideas that like we get to see these issues in a new format or something like that it always has to be something like I don't know if that's coming from the network where like we don't trust it so we're going to take an idea and redo it or it's from the artist going like you know I always watched you know what you call it uh I Dream of Genie and I wanted to see that show from the point of view of a woman trapped in a bottle you know like so I'm like okay you know why not you know but still like well I feel bad for you in a way because it's like I'm sure you get offered probably if not every couple of weeks and every couple of months I'm like you know you're the uh politically incorrect dad or Uncle you must have been but like now the idea of like what Politically Incorrect would be that TV would stand for it's like you see this guy he's not recycling instead of something like what's that cross burning it on my neighbor's lawn you can't do that Uncle somebody you can't be that guy yeah well are you building pipe bombs in the basement what are you doing you know now it's like listen you know you got to really uh you know turn the shower off you know they said we're out happy you know like those things while you put the water on while you're putting the soap on yeah like it's like you gotta have a submarine shower you get wet you get but I was like you know I was like you know everything like it it's like we're all supposed to forget what we've seen you know it's like what we thought was funny I I don't walk around all day long going like you know oh these kids or anything like that you you you you're a raising kids so it's a different story but I can only imagine just like and the things that um like you see a lot in New York especially like this entitlement of like you know this is me expressing myself whether it's done you know by like you know rich kids like the privileged kids or just the street people of like why what's the matter I can't blast my music you know as I'm like you know basically throwing garbage at cars like this is who I am this is what I do you know like this new sense of entitlement is like so weird you know it is I I don't know I feel like I feel like I I kind of curious about what what Richard Jenny would have said about it I'm sure it would have a lot to say about it I think a lot of those um the classic Comics you know they they probably well well Patrice is a great example because he always had he always took he never took the easy road with any joke he loved confrontation and he loved to fight and I think that's what really energized him as a comic and I think the people like especially on tough crowd like he was definitely the guy that who's I would say he was the anchor of that show you know like going to him and like seeing him like do his thing you know he was it it bums me out sometimes because people go like people say that to me man can you imagine if Patrice a lot was alive would he be saying about this world and then I go yeah I'm still alive I guess I didn't I guess I didn't live up to it your expectations Czar well he he totally he totally would have like had so much to say especially over the last couple years with all the protests and all this different things oh yeah it would be interesting to hear his point of view on all of that but for us like for me as a comic because like you know I'm not going out of my way to look for a a fight you know it's like I kind of blunder into them sometimes with what I say and all that kind of stuff but I actively feel bad like when I when somebody leaves and they're like you know I I didn't you know I didn't get it but then when people come in with a chip on their shoulders like [ __ ] you it's like don't come nobody is forcing you ever to come to these shows like it's a choice don't come to the show there's plenty of like whatever types of entertainment for you you know like other Comics there's a million other types of comics you know I used to I used to have a joke where I said um I was a [ __ ] joke and I the it was a horrible joke but I said uh I can't get my wife to give me a blow job I tried the sensitive approach where you slide in her mouth while she's sleeping and a woman lost her [ __ ] mind and started screaming at the top of her lungs I was like I was like well I'm never gonna hear that it was in New York oddly enough for sure Gotham and came up to me and yelled at me after the show and I said it's a joke she goes no no and then all the other people started like uh like backing her up and then in a weird way once they started backing her up I felt Vindicated but at the same time I was like I was like I don't even want to be in this conversation and then I had one joke that I told in DC that was kind of similar and but it was about uh it was a it was a regardless a woman came up to me and said I'm a huge fan and I don't think you mean to say what you said in that joke yeah and I said what do you mean she goes well what I this is what I heard and this is how I felt and I think what you meant is to and I go that's definitely not what I meant was to make you feel less than human right we had a conversation I went oh yeah I can totally listen to you all day long I could listen to that but like when just people just dig their healing and just no I know what he's saying uh you know they have every right to react to it however they want to react to it especially when you're doing these club shows you know it is in your face that's another part of it where I guess you get addicted to which is that like you're going to engage with the fans you know like you just there's no way it's not like a venue where you're gonna go out through a tunnel or something like that you know you're gonna see the fans you're gonna you're gonna hear what they have to say and I kind of like I guess maybe I have like um you know like uh like for some reason it's like I want to know what they thought about it like I'll go sometimes like there'll be like a group of like kids like five like 20 year olds and be like did you get that joke and I'm like Focus grouping them because I'm not on the web or anything and they're like sometimes like once they realize that like you know I really want to know their opinion they'll tell me like what they thought about the joke and it really helps me like see how they process and process this joke you know because I don't know like what's going on in their heads or anything like that so when you when you see like these Jokes which which used to let's let's face it these These are throwaway jokes like we'll just be like ah yeah that's what she said those jokes now like have so much more um like like uh what you call they have so much like they're like land mines you know they could like really blow you up or like destroy you you know so I I really those are the kind of jokes where like you know the fun of it where you're just like [ __ ] around that's kind of over you know well it's taking a chance and like I said uh the joke I said the other night was um uh uh oh [ __ ] something about uh I I have a joke about one of my wife and I used to would have the same relationship if we were married in the 1800s when I could hit her and and and you just hear people groaning and I go why can't I just have a [ __ ] thought like why can't you just let me let me play it out like and and and and and I said you know she's she's really opinionated but I cure and I respect her for a bit right right I would have never gotten to learn to love her opinion in the 1800s what would I have I wonder like I was just trying to think the thought out but doing that in Arena when you hear that it groans they're pretty loud oh for sure but isn't there a part of you that I think especially comics of Our Generations where it's like there is something to the groan that like it kind of like it's like it's almost like a like a wet finger in the ass sorry you're like whoa that's not right but don't stop you know what I'm saying so there is something to like when they're like whoa hey you know like already severe and all those guys like I've seen them like really take the the Hard Road on a joke or something like that and then some growing some moments but at the end you know Ari's a really good comic I mean he's like one of the best you know so like he knows how to like bring it around and everything but like when when you're like just working the joke and you're like kind of stuck in that like okay that was really like horrible thought yeah how am I gonna make it better for you you know where's the uh where's the cinnamon on that oatmeal you know yeah so you're like oh okay now they're thinking I'm just like a you know a terrible person but it's fun to get it it's fun to find get yourself with the back with your back against the wall with a horrible thought and part of the fun is trying to work your way out of it well yeah especially if the people kind of get that if not then they're like especially if they're like well we're just talking about like the the crowd that kind of is looking is looking for damage he's looking for trauma then you'd be like oh well that's it that you know across that that's what we call not a fan but a foe for the rest of your life you know yeah what's up what are you gonna do with this uh half hour I don't know man I really don't know what to do I'd like to have a conversation with you at some point and go like what do you think of all these different platforms now I feel like you know you you know you're like almost above and beyond everybody in terms of like knowing how to get content out but I'll go through you know I think the best thing to do would be edit it see what it is and then go where does this go and where would be a good place for it and also um you know I think um since I am coming towards the end of it of like you know touring and like you know doing all these different things it would be good to like you know have it as part of uh like maybe other content that I'm thinking about doing and you know people could like you know check it out clips and all that kind of stuff but yeah you know at the end of the day I'm gonna want it as a solid like I'm really thinking like 30 35 minutes I really and really enjoyed watching um Chris's and also earthquake and I felt like you know I'm like you know I might have put I might have put a lot of effort into it but I still think I'm best tight you know what I'm saying like yeah just tight and like uh keeping it keeping it keeping it moving you know what was um can I tell you what I'd love for you to do I would love I'd love to hear it what do you thinking this is a I would love for you to uh lip sync in an example speech lip syncs Thanks for the Memories oh that'll be interesting wouldn't it that would be that would break the internet yeah like if you if you like but you know what you could get is I mean Skype for the Memories is probably is is hands down my the best hour of Comedy ever recorded I I that's being too bad if you if you had fin if you had a finished house with the doorway I would walk out there's instead of that rope ladder we climbed to get up here yeah yeah no I'm that's very nice person a lot of people bring that album everyone loves that everyone for us uh so I played I played uh when the girls were young I played it came on just on my phone randomly on the thing and Leanna was like Leon and I it's the album I played to see if I could love Liang so I was in comedy yeah she didn't think I was funny and I thought I was funny but I needed to make sure we thought the same people were fine that's that's a good test yeah and she was crying laughing well thanks man and so I put I'm not very good with compliments so I'm not good either I just I just deflected one I just did a press run over at iHeartRadio and someone said something I was like and I I totally made myself look like a [ __ ] fool like they were like congratulating me on on the they released this touring list and and I just started explaining why I didn't belong on there but I'm on the list right so it was the number four and I just kept explaining why I shouldn't be on the list and then I was like just take the [ __ ] compliment shut the [ __ ] up yeah well that's cool that you played it with your lady and stuff like that because yeah I think even though like I only did one album I really really think that that that's that's what I really loved growing up and I still think comedy is always best and the best compliments I've ever gotten were over like guys in Iraq they're listening to my album we got me through it I meet them back in the States or I saw him on a USO tour and like your album was uh so to me that that was like well I really like it was like one of those like where you connected and you felt good about it as opposed to like somebody like I saw a clip or I you know I saw somebody lip syncing your joke on Tick Tock or something like that and that's another thing with like um you know Tick Tock let's face it it's it's a game changer right it's all that kind of stuff humor wise like you know it's all you know if Chaplin was alive he'd be suing everybody it's all slapstick yeah it's all falling down it's all I'm opening this door what's in there a billion ping pong but it's like all those different kind of jokes that you grew up going like that's corny that's like you know 1960s you know that's whatever that's that's that's not like today's comedy they like reinvented it and re-energized it so I don't know I don't know in terms of like you know us being like out of date or anything like that but I'm like you guys are not coming up with new stuff you're just Reinventing like stuff I've seen already I would love I hate to bring it up too because I'm like I kind of saw that like on a you know Smothers Brothers or something how old you are you know I would love I would love a re-recording of the Legion of skanks or of skanks for memories we had talked about I talked to someone about maybe Stanhope I think I talked Stanhope about uh I think he has an album that is that someone else owns and he can't release it and he was like but it's a great album he was like I was thinking about just he goes I'm a better comic now than I was then I was thinking about just re-recording that hour and making it better but re-recording the hour and then because I own the they're all of my thoughts and I thought that was great I thought it was such a brilliant way to look at like it's like my first hour that I ever did was for Comedy Central it's got some good [ __ ] but I bet if I went back if I went and remastered it as a comic today but I said I'm gonna do one show I've worked it out I've gotten these old bits because you know it's like as soon as you do a bid on a special you make it a million times better like a month later believe me oh my God that is the worst of it all you know it's almost like the guys who get to actually the playoffs and they're like you know if I just had like you know tied my shoes a little bit or like something like whatever it was like I know I would have caught that ball you know you're always rethinking that I I didn't know you did that but I do that oh my God that's terrible that's a terrible sleep I have a joke about that's in this new special my new special that is you know you know when you get a joke you go I I uh when I once I get there it's good but in order to get there it's a little clumsy but it's fine because I get there once I get there it gets a good pop well I found out how to get there quicker this weekend on that joke and I'm angry I'm angry that I just want to edit it out of my special and go let me just let me just use this on the next special because I feel like if I'm like frustrated that I got there I figured it out um two months three oh probably four months after I did the special I figured the [ __ ] joke out oh well so yeah right now I've been there as well oh my God you're gonna see that in mind but the one bit that now that we're talking bits and all this stuff like your gun bit you know like where you're like I got a gun yeah I was like that's so cool I was like and then your examples were really really fun yeah and I was like well that's cool because usually you know the gun thing is like you know a gun and then like the funny thing and then this whole like guns are bad you know and this and that and it's like you have to hammer that but you just like told your your thing that you did and like it was funny all the way through it always makes me laugh when I think about that you know it's just thank you it's really good gooder makes 25 active sunglasses that don't slip don't bounce and are a hundred percent polarized and only 25 dollars let me tell you right now I uh I went fishing uh with an expensive pair of sunglasses they were polarized and as I leaned over the boat right off my face they're too heavy these are lightweight and I love how comfortable comfortable they are to wear all day I have a few Pairs and I rotate them because they're affordable enough that I can keep an extra set in my car next to set my tour bus next up my travel bag I kept a set and my golf bag didn't know I had sunglasses in there put them on dude they're awesome I first found gooder I've been a fan of gooder for a long time but I first found them at a running store they had them in a running store and they were like cool sunglasses we were on tour I think we were in Seattle and I've been running with these when I run outdoors I only run with Good Earth they're always releasing they're releasing new colors and collabs so you can lay low or get wild if you want to show your support for the show pick up a pair of gooder gooder is giving birth cast listeners free shipping on your first order you can go to gooder.com Bert and use the code bird to get free shipping gooder offers a 30 day money back guarantee and a hundred percent satisfaction find your pair at gooder.com Burton and use the code Bert to get free shipping we celebrate life's biggest moments with champagne but everyday achievements deserve to be celebrated too you know that's my brand whether it's just simply closing out your to-do list getting somewhere on time making it through another day of podcasting that's reason to celebrate I I tell you right now I swear to God someone will get me one of these beers I want one so bad to celebrate next time you accomplish something within your everyday celebrate it with Miller High Life the champagne of beers because that's what living the high life is all about I'm telling you right now they're racing to go get it it won't be here in time by the time this reads over but I'm celebrating I had a great day today I woke up early I worked out hard my whole life is designed by designed by giving myself something to celebrate about welcome to high life living the high life means you appreciate quality and Timeless Classics you believe in the best parts of life are not rare or hard to achieve you celebrate achievements within your everyday the champagne of beers like people have done for Generations welcome [ __ ] doesn't this look goddamn beautiful I mean the glass casing it's got sunshine in a bottle welcome to the High Life go to Miller High life.com slash bird to find Miller High Life near you celebrate responsibly 2023 Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee Wisconsin wait I wanted to say something else about uh bits and things like that is that there is I was just thinking there's a marketing thing for us right now you know it is Purim so you might as well think about ways to Market this stuff is uh our material especially these old jokes will eventually will eventually be bought by big corporations to use in there like uh you know their uh HR like and we don't want jokes like this and this yeah and this in the office so it's like if they would pay like if they would pay you 100 Grand a pop you'd be like you know I don't wouldn't mind you can use my you know little people jokes to say you're not allowed to make fun of them that is that's a great by the way immediately I go that's a great that's a great promo video of to promote your special of the HR company just going just going just having like a a group of uh people in a business meeting in a corporate room and then they go all right so just so we're clear this is the language trying to avoid this is David tells new special yeah I become better I'm better comic I wouldn't say I'm I'm like oh you're you're way better I'm I feel like the old the old like especially all those different jokes I'm embarrassed now like when I'm talking about any of that stuff like vibrators in Amsterdam oh yeah so yeah this is we walked into a um uh we walked into uh uh a sex shop and I what was the what is this you got to pretend like you've never been there oh whoa what's that and then you go and then you go out and you kick a [ __ ] and you grow a tail I mean like it for me it's quotable stuff uh that I think is like it it it's the best man I that skanks For The Memories is uh just I mean all the stuff we do what's crazy is when you say you're a better comic today I agree when I watched you in Vegas when I watched you with uh fully loaded that was amazing but when I saw you in Vegas I don't think I've I've laughed that hard in my life I quote that I quoted that parent joke to my dad the parrot now joke to my dad this morning my dad's a lawyer and I told my dad and he was like for real how does he come up with this stuff you should ask him how does he I go down I have a lot of down time so I think about that but I I you're you've always been like really good to me but I would say that like the jokes I used to do and the jokes I'm trying to do now like I'm trying to be more adult and all that kind of stuff and I understand like what like I left off a bunch of stuff that I'm like that's just stuff you do to your crowd live like you just don't do it and then like when I was like on the second show I did like all the vibrator all that oral bits that I do basically to kill time on stage and I was like I might as well get him on tape just for like to have him so maybe it'll fit maybe it won't but it definitely is like so different from like years ago where it was just like you know of course you know I think dice set the bar pretty high in terms of like you know like you know the guy the guy I hate to say it but the guy like you know gargling a man's balls like that's his thing and what are they orphans and that always makes me laugh I could care less if we were like you know in the future like on Mars in the colony up there like yeah that would always make me laugh the uh what are they orphans it always it's a it's a it's a burst in my head like it just it it it it it it always activates like it's that Primal like funny you know yeah I love I I love your ability you had you had such a great way to this should be said for the death like when I die you know some of these don't you know what you know what I did you know what I tried to do last year was fully loaded I wasn't gonna tell you um the memorial shot no I was gonna do a documentary on you oh yeah without you know and called don't tell it don't tell the tell and we were all just gonna have because we had all these great Comics around who we could interview and talk about you but then see you interact and see you hang out and watch your stuff and watch my daughter watch your stuff and it became extremely too complicated because everyone started thinking it was a prank show and I was like no no no no don't you know what let's [ __ ] ignore this entirely this isn't working well my the tour like there was a lot of great to that tour but uh there was also like you know with with the bus like because I've done bus tours before right I've done one in years and all that kind of stuff but like I realized like I'm too old to sleep on a bus so I'm like you know first of all I'm up I don't sleep much at all anyhow so I'm talking to the bus driver and I was really you know and your bus guy is great that guy's really cool guys it takes a certain type of person to do that job you know especially do it right and you know he was great so like we're sitting up front there and I was like I'm in his like this is like his zone right now it'd be like if I'm doing like I said and it's like you don't mind if if like my cousin comes and watches he's a big fan it's not like watching him around yeah and like whenever I watch the guy who go like man I wish I was a better driver I would be a bus driver because like I'm good at being up at night I'm a terrible driver but still like I was like you know kind of like jealous of him a little bit and then after a while I was like you know just like looking at your bus and like you know this is burst bus so it's got to be like you know of course like party and I open that thing and I see all those like meat sandwiches and I was like wow this is [ __ ] cool you know uh I'm buying a new bus yeah I'm buying a new bus and then uh what are you going to do to it like how are you going to trick it out oh I'm letting Isla design it yeah and uh I it's just the littlest things like will it have a free speech Circle in the middle for your daughters no it's funny George isn't a tell fan Isla's a Hedberg fan yes Isla's a big Hedberg she [ __ ] that he made her slide out of a seatbelt one time like oh really oh my God and Georgia Georgia's two I think she's too analytical at times like you know like she she was like this guy's really funny what what's uh she's died she's yeah what is it called again uh dissecting it yeah she goes is is she on drugs and I went well yeah he was and she goes is he okay now and I said he's dead she went home she goes I'm gonna have a hard time laughing at this and I go well no baby it's it's fine it's just you can laugh at it I don't know I feel like I'm laughing at a guy who I know is about to die and I was like finger [ __ ] like in the cry figure [ __ ] [ __ ] the whole Hands Across America so what what do they what are they like what it what do they do like like what's you know for young kids like that like I don't what gets them like like is it group think like do they have to wait till like everybody else likes it or I think I think that's one of the things I think um I I don't think kids do a lot these days like I think they live on their phones and they screw so they judge a lot they get to judge a lot yeah it's a little bit of this the the the Caesar feel it's like they just flip through and they're like ah and like uh like I they definitely are afraid to be pulled out like in a crowd like hey look at this guy like that kind of like you know and I consider like you know crowd work like people do it differently but I do it my own way and like you know even even if the guy or the person deserves a beating like I will let them off the hook it's not like I'm going for the throat yeah back in the day you would go for the throat because yeah it was it was basically a knife fight now it's like this just like exchange someone's drunk you know they're yelling out during the setup which is the worst when they're yelling out stuff during the setup so yeah you gotta re-set it up all the time so you know these are like compared to like um uh back in the in the day these are pillow fights you know so but even then people are like whoa you know I can't believe it even like last night at the um store at the store you know in the main room you know which I think is like you know that room like I've heard so many great things about that room and everything usually when I get there it's like the crowd is exhausted like it was almost like they were there for like a timeshare meeting you know look like so if you really want the times you know they're exhausted they've seen multiple multiple Comics but like people in the front row they know you're going to be talked to at some point I mean sitting in front of the comedy club is like you know you want to be a part of the show and these people this guy was like well you know it's like we were just sitting here we were hoping that this place would eventually be turned into a restaurant or something you know it's like how dare you like he had that look in his eyes like oh come on you know I'm like okay that's happened to me and by the way I can seek them out now because I've spent so many times at uh [ __ ] drop off with my kids I can seek the people that are out like they don't really know what they've signed up for and they're in the front row yeah and but then I I feel like I have I feel like I have access to that secret Club because I'm around those type of parents oh they're really tight so what's their problem let me in on it what's what are they what are they why they like that uh well they're normally they're probably exact somewhere in Hollywood and so they they can't they are not allowed to be a part of it it's like it's like I never liked the tapings when when they filled it with audience and then lit the audience and then had cameras on the audience to get all the attraction yeah so I go you're asking people to shut down their natural thought process because they know they're being watched so if they laugh sure Nikki glaze were doing an anal sex joke they're like oh my mom's watching this I don't do anal right and so um but yeah I I the store is an interesting place because it had such a rep of the I mean like the biggest comics in the world would be on every show that I've watched people go up that are younger and just people go you're not famous next yeah they're they're spoiled the crowd there because they get all these big acts working on their acts and and you know uh I I totally agree with you on that which is that they do they they kind of like turn it on and turn it off through the whole night you know I've had I've had some rough spots in the main room I have just as many rough spots in the or yeah no for sure and it's like you know I don't live in this town so when I come in like what did you come out here for well I'm in between um San Francisco and Portland so I'm coming here and uh you know I'm heading up to Portland you know uh another great comedy town they usually uh anybody who comes to my shows they know what they're in for and they really are great and they um you know I'm really lucky I have really good you know and I'm not just saying it because like it's my fans it's like all the guys I tour with all the people that come on the road they love my crowd because they get the joke they like jokes they also tip well and they treat the staff well and and like they're just great all the way around some now they're older so it's more of like a you know it's like this kind of thing of like we're all old but uh even the new ones that come and they get it right away that like you're gonna hear a lot of jokes and like it's gonna be you know it it's going to be that kind of an experience and you might be a part of it as well so I'm very lucky to have that crowd and anybody who talks with me I mean like they they you know that's like the best compliment you can ever get is like I love your Crowd Oh you're crowd your crowd I would love and I loved your crowd too like touring with you was like I was I was like you know these people like I I was like I hope I'm fun enough for them you know I was like you know what's what am I gonna do like you know I know that they want like a big you know they like it bold you know well it's funny because I think I think our crowd I think they see some crossover yeah well I think what's interesting is I think I say when I say R I'm singing me and Tom me and Tom's because it's we pretty much share an audience oddly enough it's getting less and less like that the bigger we get it's really kind of bizarre like we went to NASCAR are and I got I got recognized Maybe uh maybe 500 times and and Tom was like Anonymous and I was like wow my my fans are NASCAR fans and Tom I would always think we share fans but what I think for the most part when we did that fully loaded I think it's fun when they see you because I think they I think part of them is like going like uh like when you eat a dish and then you're like wow I didn't what's that taste and they're like oh it's saffron and then you smell saffron you're like oh that's totally saffron I think they see you and they go oh so that's who Burton Tom were trying to be they go they go oh I get it like because they're you guys are your own thing well you were such a heavy you know what you're talking about in the beginning when you're trying to learn how to do comedy I think the way majority people learned was by watching someone and then going how would that guy do it and then emulating them until they can figure out their own voice well I'm very spoiled with comedy because I you know I get to go on especially at the comic cell which I guess you could say like you know I've been there so long I can almost not remember being being there you know yeah and the New York comedy scene like Caroline's clothes and you and I bet you like when you were younger like being headline accountants was a big deal like that was like one of those Airlines I finally got a place I can tell my mama and my papa to come and see like you felt like now they'll think I'm really a comic because I'm playing on Broadway and it was such a big deal and at the end like when it you know like unfortunately it you know the club closed you were like that is the end of an era I always played the same week the Christmas between Christmas and New Year's and it was like this thing in like the staff and everybody would get pumped for these crowds that were coming and some of them were great some of them were like Taurus you know like just tourists coming right right uh you know like they've staying at the Embassy Suites down the block and they saw like a you know a sign or something but like it was always fun either way that like that was my end of the year I was like okay I do Caroline's I'm in my I get to sleep in my own bed and then there's New Years and then start again like whatever the new year will hold for me but now like without that it's kind of like that was a real Touchstone for me and I think um you know a lot of comics felt the same way that like Caroline's was definitely one of those Pinnacles that you're like hey I got to play Caroline's you know so I was very lucky that I got to play there as often as I did I never played I didn't play there a lot but the times I did play there uh we're like I'm that's where I first saw Richard Jenny um and then Patrice made me go with him to watch uh Paul Mooney I know Paul was like uh he was an icon there yeah yeah he had a ball of champagne with him on stage and he was I mean very slow to start and I'm sitting with Patrice and I'm trying to figure out what Patrice seasoned him that uh that like I'm like what is why is why am I here right and then immediately next time I hear the most recognizable Laugh In Comedy and his [ __ ] Eddie Murphy just right next to me and I'm like and Patrice is like yeah and as patrice's statement was kind of weird but he's like you if you want to see the comics that make Eddie Murphy laugh and so watch him you won't get it he's like you're not going to get a lot of this but that's the point yeah he was he was kind of ahead of the curve on a lot of things especially with uh you know he was another guy where it's like the anger that he had you know like he was able to like filter it into the uh into through his act into the funny yeah the the undeniable funny of it so you know like all of us sometimes it was it was uh you know he was just like he was another guy where like to be honest I'm not as familiar with his stuff as I should be or like I I never really saw it but like there was you know there was more the guy than just his his uh you know he was uh he he was just another one of a kind you know like to this day people can say like with the other comments Paul Mooney and they know exactly you know what we're talking about so so when you come out to L.A who do you hit up do you have do you like oh who do I hit up like what friends do you hit up well you know um you know all the you know the usual ones Heidi Fleiss uh top size more God bless them no all the people uh sometimes more recognize me towards the end of this life that was a sad end man that was too quick that was too quick he came up to me and uh it was on uh Lancashire no not Lankershim uh Larchmont and Larchmont was going to get my hair cut and I was and he was trying to figure out a parking meter and he was clearly inebriated and he was talking on the phone trying to figure out a parking meter and I was like oh [ __ ] I know that guy and I was like it's Tom Sizemore he's like hey you're funny as [ __ ] and I was like oh thanks and I was this is a while ago too this is a long time ago and uh and I was like oh I'm a fan for life I'm a fan for life where did he see do you think he saw you at the comedy store because that used to be like a big hang for celebs you know it must have been it might have been on just something online I doubt he was a big podcast listener I don't know another uh you know I I don't know how much much time we got but like when Bud Friedman passed that was also another big like you know that was a guy who like you know whatever gave me first shot whatever on on his show just like Caroline's comedy hour there was the uh whatever that what was the calling for the Improvement evening at the improvs and all those things and like um you know all that VHS basic cable comedy like you know there's something to it there was just just like a like a like a sliminess to it that's like addictive like when you watch it that one camera you know like just that flat you know you know you're wearing you wearing like your best Duds and all that kind of stuff it was like that kind of weird weird thing about it but I you know bud was definitely another um he was an icon he was a living uh Legend in comedy before he passed it now he's just like you you know epic so I saw him towards the end of his life but I was another club where like you know it's a fun hang you know the Melrose improv and same thing with the store and all that kind of stuff I never worked the Laugh Factory as much as like I I I always felt like I was kind of out of my league like the crowds were better looking the comics were better looking it was almost like you know like during the day we're a model agency at night we were a comedy club but they that place was a rock that was like a rock club for a while like it was it was killing it I worked there once and he told me I went long and I I knew I didn't and I was like okay and then I called in my avails and and and I I just was like ah I was like you know I don't need to do three spots tonight and then and so I I just kind of avoided and then but Jamie's always been good to me like you know maybe it's uh the fact that like you know he got it he you know he was like you know I'd love you to come by here but it was like there was so many power acts like working there that it was like one of those where like you better bring like your play last 20 minutes on the road here yeah you're gonna come up with a new bit here it's not like you're gonna work stuff out yeah it's like this crowd is it's a shallow end of the pool I mean these people look at them a lot of them you know just got their nose done their cheeks done to be here so wait are you doing a spot tonight yeah I'm probably gonna go out tonight and uh I can't well I can say where right because it's not airing tonight is it yeah no I'll probably go over the Improv yeah yeah you should come by I'm I may I have to I have to write so badly but wow you're really like in in this head right now of writing yeah how do you do it like do you have a notebook well it used to be so [ __ ] easy it used to be so easy remember when everybody would walk around with a notebook do you remember all that and they put it up I still have a notebook they didn't open it up I still have a notebook yeah the only guy I ever saw actually write in a notebook was Mitch Hedberg that thing was full of thoughts and drawings and like jokes everybody else it was like here's my new book you know it's like oh what's your number okay let me write it down in this empty whole empty page of no jokes you know I'm like dude it's like I remember I I like my my notebook I have the notebook and then I would do like just like pieces of paper it almost looked like it was at a race track what is this I do it in my phone I do it yeah I write it I write down for me it'll be a thought I can't write full form I have to talk it out on stage but it'll be a thought it'll be like one word like uh like uh abortion or adoption and then and then I'll know the thing but um I enjoy I I don't I I it used to be so much easier to do you listen to your tapes yeah when I'm getting ready for a special see I I try and listen to them you know at least two or three times a week like I I like beat myself with like a tape yeah and before I was getting ready I listened to a lot more but these sets are way easier to listen to these 20-minute sets way easy to listen to you got kind of like the new jokes you get like whatever old joke you're working on instead of going through all of that like patter all of that so what's the plan are you gonna do keep doing these 30 out 30 minutes and keep releasing them I don't know this could be it for me I really don't think I have much more Emmy in terms of like stand up like I feel like I've you know I I I peaked a while ago and this is just kind of like the uh the fuse no you're too good to me you and Tom are like too good too Tom and I I'll tell you what I'll tell you what Hey listen there's no Santa Claus grow up you know Stanhope asked if he could be the one to tell my daughters oh that's hilarious egos that would be a great Cameo that guy on Cameo guys Cameo yeah I'm the guy who tells your kids there's no Santa the dungeon paper I think you wrote a book about it about a book child's book of how to tell your kids there's no Santa Claus he did yeah I think so he was here the other day we were hanging out the other day where is he now is he wow he's in Australia right now I don't know how he does it man I don't I I mean I like he's gonna be there for what like a couple of months yeah yeah like uh Chappelle and Jeff Ross were over there too it's like I guess once you have you been there yeah I've never been there it's like you want to come with me the flight scares the [ __ ] out of probably first class yeah it doesn't matter can you fly me SpaceX can you get me there can you get me there in two packs of cigarettes Dave here's my pitch okay come to Australia with me all right yeah I'll I'll fly you first class from New York yes and then I'll take it and then we'll go to Bali oh wow I'll go to Bali for a couple days after the tour why don't we why don't we split the difference and go to Indonesia there's a cool to be had hey well let's talk about it afterwards that's a nice invite because a guy like you man it's like I worked with Ian bag this weekend and another very funny guy and man when you uh what I did it with Fitzsimmons was the same way Chris Porter we did I did Chris worked with Chris Porter in Boston and it inspires you to [ __ ] create like it really like when you watch the whole legit [ __ ] murder you go oh I gotta step up my game it's you know my fans but I got I gotta write and I gotta I gotta I I just I don't know how are your fans over there Australia identical to here really identical they look the same they act the same white you can say it white it's they're white I got so [ __ ] up in Australia last time so you should go with another guy drinks I don't drink anymore I'd be such a like I think a dead weight come on let's go to the Olivia Newton John Memorial and you'll be like I'm drunk dude I don't want to go Dave here's the thing about drinking is like I never understood this I don't care if you drink I just want to drink yeah no that's okay it's like my wife doesn't drink it doesn't change that relationship how about these kids and Alex and what do they do they Vape what do they Vape they Vape uh White claws yeah white clothes I have jokes on all these things whether they're funny or not vaping white Claws and I think I think they all I think they're they all eat mushrooms oh yeah mushrooms has had a huge Resurgence I know I know you know they sell you know Cokes legal in Vancouver now well in Portland they give it to you at the airport Portland they give you a syringe and go go out there and be somebody two grams of pharmaceutical grade cocaine yeah [ __ ] Vancouver wow you can get at a dispensary how how weird is that I would I make like I don't really do Coke anymore like I I just it's just well you would do it up there right I'd have to you yeah just for the experience of it and do they do it like you know you know cokehead so they probably wait to go home or to be with friends and do it I bet you're doing it on the door on the way out yeah on the way out me again me again well you can only buy two grams yeah and you can buy black tar heroin there I think that was someone someone told me that and I was like that's got to be [ __ ] insane and you know what's really suffering in that town the whale watching cruises they're not drawing the numbers they used to I remember you go to Vancouver it's like what can you do around here well you can get on a boat and like there's a whale thing and like just maybe see a whale and now it's like there's a full-tilled drug Market going on there wait what would you do for that plane flight do you would you need to smoke on it I think you'd have to put me like in a ventilator in the storage area like awaken me okay how about this see I can't leave the country until well my mom has dementia so I always have to be within like one flight that's too far a flight right yeah I've been offering to go to Europe a million times I've been offering to go to Australia many times but like right now it's I have to stay domestic but that is something that like I'd also like to go you know when I used to do the u.so tours like I would go to the Middle East like you know I was going there for the truth but now this actual shows like in Jordan all these different things really so it'll be interesting to see how I would play in these markets you know to these different people murder murder someone would get murdered I know that I would love to have your act I would love dude at the end of the day like you go to Australia something like that you got to be there for how long three weeks two weeks two weeks yeah I figure right three weeks yeah do you ever play New Zealand as well so I'm doing Auckland and then doing two shows in another show in in somewhere in New Zealand and then what's that like what's the Auckland show like they're the [ __ ] exact they're podcast fans what else can they do they're so far away like whenever I see them at the cellar at the commissary like two New Zealand come in I go you know like thank you like you know I didn't I said you know it's almost mythical oh it's beautiful over there it's so it is oh my God it's [ __ ] gorgeous New Zealand is New Zealand's like Australia except it doesn't have any of the animals that kill you oh yeah Australia's got so many deadly [ __ ] animals like and every sign's written in English and in German because Germans don't have any Predators they don't have any Predators around them so you mean uh the animals and stuff and no predatory animals whatsoever in Germany so Germans live this Bliss Carefree life where they just walk into the woods and jump into a lake and nothing could ever kill them they never there's no snakes there's no nothing okay they go to Australia they die at like 10 times any other nationality wow Germans die like crazy so because they go oh look at this water hole we jump in huh and then crocodile grabs them and [ __ ] takes them to their Cove and uh with their body yeah well that's uh that's what side of Australia is that that's the uh what would it be because that's on the on the the East Side Northeast is where all the crocodiles are okay and then I'm sure there's some probably and you've done through the whole like you've been through the whole continent I've been I've been all over Australia and I'm going this year I'm going to a place called xmouth where um I'm not doing a show there but maybe I should it's a really small place but it's [ __ ] gorgeous I'd love to go it's just like right now at this point I don't know if I can but that flight is intimidating and I know there's Comics now that like you know they private jet it but it doesn't matter how you do it it's a long long flight and like then they have to go through customs and I'm like I'm looking at like maybe a day and a half away from my cigarette again you know so that that to me is like Wow have you tried the zins that's what the kids are using is it like the chewable or no it's the little white pouch that all the kids use zins well no I haven't seen it yet but uh I still haven't found anything that equals the I'm sure Doug will back me up on this with the you know because he's like a master of cold turkey where he's like I locked myself in the trailer and I'm just gonna write a book and not smoke a cigarette and I'm like wow that's pretty pretty intense that you could do that and on the road it's really hard to find a place not only to smoke but also to sit down and smoke because uh you know they removed all benches and stuff like that because of the you know terrible uh situation we have Street on the streets now you know people camped out and everything like that so no no cover was like whatever I'm heading to Portland so like smoking on the street you know it's basically smoking just a cigarette they know you're from out of town like it's like why are you not smoking opium you know when you go into a hotel room do you smoke in hotel rooms no I never do that really I guess I'm like too much of a rule follower but I remember hotels where we could smoke and like Vegas like I know they're trying to make some smokeless hotels I'm like that's part of the experience in Vegas supposed to go there and like be able to like do stuff yeah wait what does do you remember uh do you remember when you could smoke on planes I think I was like the last like like the last fight of that or something like that and they already had everyone in the back in the back 1997 1995 we flew to Europe and my buddy wicho was like I'll get it I'm gonna get a smoking seat yeah so I can have some cigarettes have a drink I'm cigarettes and it was intense right so intense yeah look [ __ ] he had to sneak back up to regular and find a scene regular it's like a wall of it you can't [ __ ] deal so much smoke well I'll just say this as a taxpayer and a smoker that these airports especially that when they took the one little smoking area like in Vegas they have that glass Booth where you get to see it's almost like an exhibit of people chain smoking I was like there was no reason why they should have done that like we're the ones paying for these airports they should have made it a little bit easier for us to smoke in an airport I can understand the hotels I can understand the hospitals all these different places but that was the one thing I was like you know you know I get it this is like the one bad habit everyone's allowed to like jump in on but it's still like they you know uh California is a good example where like you're paying 10 times the amount of what a cigarette pack costs same thing like with New York you know 15 bucks a pack whereas um you know you played the South yeah you know you go down to like whatever Huntsville Alabama is like you know I'm sorry these are eight bucks a pack can you afford that yeah I can give me two Gordons you know this is like great I tried to get Georgia to start smoking my oldest you did she was vaping and I said I don't like the Vape I go I'd rather you smoke a cigarette enjoy a cigarette cigarettes are no they've been told it's terrible yeah she goes up bad for you I go you think the Vape is good for you the Vape is I have that joke where Vape is killing kids you know yeah and um you know to be honest like uh I never got people gave me those jewels and everything like that and I'm like so how do you charge this it go you gotta put it in your computer I'm like this is the most unfun experience ever you know it's like a zip Drive of breath you know I miss cigarettes I woke up the other day and uh in Calgary and I've never won you know sugar just started smoking so Rogan he did he started smoking cigarettes yeah before he goes on stage he'll have a cigarette wow because he was he was like I mean he's always very anti cigarettes yeah dude that's that's crazy so nicotine like there's this huge movement that nicotine is really good for you it staves off uh um Parkinson's it does that dude it's really good for you I can't believe it nicotine's really good for you uh it's just smoking isn't the best delivery man that's terrible yeah and so Rogan was vaping for a period of time and then smoking cigarettes before you go on stage sugar is back full-blown smoking cigarettes oh really he's back back he's smoking cigarettes wow um and I and so everyone around me smoking and we I wake up in Calgary the day I'm hungover and uh I go outside and it's cold as [ __ ] it always is cold there and I S and someone next to me lit a cigarette like right outside the woman lit her cigarette and I could smell I know you'll know this taste yeah but the first drag of a cigarette has a distinct flavor to it and I could smell that flavor and I wanted one so bad and I thought I thought like the Apollo just started smoking and I thought when everybody Nick the boss started smoking menthol I can't help it it's just the cool flavor of it I feel like having a spinach but I I was gonna say like uh with the smoking is like you know you're addicted like I was in Oklahoma and like weather was coming in Oklahoma it's always in extreme weather and it was driving rain it was like so hot and then it was driving rain and I'm the only idiot out there like behind a pillar like trying to smoke it's like I could have been killed with a like a you know the pool chairs in a basement yeah now I was like this is the time where they should be like you can smoke in the lobby it's really so dangerous out there but like everybody's like don't go out there's nothing I'm like I'm just gonna like you know I'll be careful but it was just like [ __ ] was flying by me you know yeah like tables cows things are flying up still smoking out there like this is this is pathetic do you think you'll ever drink again probably towards the end of my life I probably will no because like there's times when I do think about it then there's other times where I'm like I'm so glad like that's not part of like what I do anymore it's like you know to be honest um why did you drink like because why did I yeah I grew up on Long Island and we all drank and like you know I I would say that like that was a cultural thing there where like we were all drinkers you know yeah and this was before like pot was is available you know that was illegal so when you did smoke pot you knew that was like you're gonna get trouble but now I think kids have so many other drug choices and so many other like ways to uh you know I guess you know get high without holding it in your hand yeah but but the point is like uh they're out drinking and like and I know money's a big deal with these kids like now with you know loans and all that kind of stuff but I've never seen more kids go out and drink and drink you know expensive it's not like you know I'm just having a couple of beers like they're drinking high-end top shelf stuff yeah and they're doing drugs you know and they're they're they're partying the way everybody always parties in their 20s but yet they're always crying about money and I'm like well you're you're out there like the rest of us you're spending money you shouldn't be so you know whatever that's an old man talking but for for for your own information it's like you know there is something about a whiskey on a cold day you know that's pretty cool you know there's a lot okay so so when you the day you decide to start drinking just let us know and we'll put a dream team together that'd be great get Mark Norman he's a big whiskey guy yeah what's his he likes whiskey and Sam drinks too sit Mark Shane Gillis is a Big Bud Light guy of course he's already been a big booze bag lately really yeah he loves he just loves I mean to wear the thin drunk yeah that's what we used to say really I guess I got no nobody's coming to me you know the guy's thin and he's a drunk watch out um but uh but yeah that's uh I always I always try to wonder like why I drink when I where I quit drinking I remember myself I go I remember this guy this guy's a different guy well you know when you shave your beard and you see your face you go I haven't seen you in forever oh that's fun yeah vulnerability [ __ ] [ __ ] well I I feel like you know uh like on your door I saw you I see you having a couple of pops and I was like that's right you know it's like why wouldn't you enjoy yourself and you know it didn't get in the way of all the other stuff it's not like you know it's like where's bird we're supposed to be shooting this you were there you know you're you're like uh like on Long Island it was the whole thing is like you can get drunk but you know you're still going to work with a hangover because you promised that you'd go in so it wasn't like this like you know it's a big excuse kind of thing I don't know I mean I think we did a lot of dumb things things just because we thought it was cool to do it and now these kids I think the one thing that like um that like I never would have gotten whether it's now or then was this whole like organic food movement of like less tasty food less tasty food at three times the price yeah I'd be like no I'm not gonna eat that you know I feel like this is dumb you know what was what was what do you remember the last night you drank uh there were so many last nights but I would say that the week after you quit when you get the headache of like where's the booze that's that's an interesting experience because you know you're not supposed to go cold turkey on stuff like that and you really do feel it with booze I don't know I've never done heroin or anything like that but I assume that it's the same kind of like you know whoa your body is now like basically like where is that thing that you need to get through the day you know but I didn't drink all day I drink at night I was pretty uh I was pretty like with the shows like have you ever been drunk on stage you know how bad that is like just where it's like you know this is this is a mess you know yeah so I got drunk on stage one time I got drunk before I got on stage and then on stage I got drunk and it didn't go well and Burr who's now has been sober for a very long time yeah he said I got off and he was giggling and he goes there's a reason they don't let you drink and drive yeah your your timing's off for sure and I was like oh yeah that's a good point yeah I I was another guy who I think uh we all owe him all lot of credit because he always takes the uh you know like he he you know like there's a lot of guys that put their face in the storm yeah you know and take the Heat and he's definitely one of those guys who makes it a lot doing his Patrice benefit have you done it I'm sure you've never done it I've never done it wow man you should definitely do that I think he keeps it for the guys that you know like I knew Patrice but I was all younger than you guys well I can't say that I was you know I was more of a fan than a friends of Patrice so at the end of the day like every time you do it you're like you know it's cool to be around the people who knew him but I think that they have so many different type of Acts and they always like you know I've been there I've been there times where it was like you know uh Pete Davidson who is it was like a huge fan and a really cool he's also a really good comic I mean he really deserves more credit it's great I saw him I saw him two weekends ago yeah he looks phenomenal like he looks like I know Pete's gone through some stuff sure he looks awesome his energy was [ __ ] great he was the happiest I've seen him in forever I was like I was like whatever I'll take whatever he's on right well I mean I'm sure I'm sure it's just not drugs and alcohol is super but like when you when you when I would do those benefits and they'd have all these like big guests drop eyes I was like that's so cool that like these guys came down to support patrice's family and everything but you would be awesome there because that crowd that comes for it when people come up to me they go I saw you at the Patrice benefit they are super fans they love it you know yeah that would be great yeah Bill's bills bills are doing that now it's got to be more than 10 years now I think I think it's actually coming up on the 15th anniversary whatever it is whatever for 15 [ __ ] years it can't be that long but it's definitely a long road where Bill has done that and like you know if if it wasn't for him you know like that's how things stay stay active and stay hot you know yeah we'll uh I'll let you get out of here I don't wanna I hold you forever Dave oh no it's it's always great seeing you and I hope to be asked back when the house is finished yeah well I'll have you on the hobby it was three guys downstairs who wanted me to help him put up a drywall you're the only reason I know Gilbert Godfrey oh really yeah because that was one of our yeah we did and I almost burned that house down making uh do you remember that Rachel I made fishing oh that was terrible oh yeah and and but Gilbert only did it because you were doing it oh really because he didn't know me and he came he got there early and he goes uh and and I I don't know what was going on with him like physically like physically if he was sick or not but he was like it was funny the second the camera turned on he was [ __ ] alive for sure and then when it was off he was just very like very Meek is the right way to say like I'd say Spectrum but yeah you can use Meek and he goes he goes I uh I don't know who you are and I was like oh I I'm a big fan and he was like no I I'm here because of Dave oh cool well I'm excited to have you Gilbert and so I got to hang out with them because of you so thank you well Gilbert was a big deal for me as a kid and also when I got to like get to know him and his family and you know me and Jeff uh Jeff Ross you know like we kind of like he kind of was in our fold and Jeff is super you know Jeff is a great to his family Dara and the kids and everything like that and like uh Jeff's memorial for Gilbert was hilarious really I mean Jeff is really good at that stuff like his is it was like seeing the rabbi let crying with tears and like just like this really sad situation Jeff is like he's a he really is like the best of the best when it comes to that kind of he really is and Jeff Jeff was the first guy to really kind of like connect older comics with younger for sure and I remember that like whatever whatever happened to the Friars Club I really don't know I keep walking past it in New York and like it's kind of open I think it is open now it's beautiful in there how do you get in you um I I really really uh it used to be where you like another Friar would have to like uh you know put your name forward and you have to go through like an intricate you know like whatever vetting but I assume now it's just like one of those where you just give me you know like you're walking a couple of things but no I'm sure they still have like yeah I want to be in the farmers Club oh he would they would love you I would love it and it's also like a really great place just like how they set it up I don't know what about the one out here I think the one out here is way bigger than the one in New York because everybody moved this way yeah and so it's crazy I would love to be in the first yeah tell Jeff Jeff was uh he if he's not the head fryer he might he might be the Abbot by now yeah because he really has like uh you know he he revitalized that whole group and like he really it was like way overdue too like Jeff was he was definitely right to like connect with these guys and he's friends with them as well it's not like he's you know it's like but the Gilbert thing that I always thought was funny is like you know there's a lot of different Gilberts but the Gilbert that we all know at the end you know like we do these long incredibly drawn out dirty jokes like you know there's sometimes like where I'm just like like whatever I'm I'm going to I'm getting ready for for something and I'll just start doing one of his jokes and it's just like you know you can like really do it like you start it you take a shower you're still telling the joke you come back out and it's all Filthy yeah you're like man that was just so much fun I miss him I'd love to see it live if you can check out his his impression of the dice man I believe it's from the 90s or whatever it's hilarious really it's just like old old like Gilbert like I guess you could say like his Prime and he's on some TV show and he's doing the dice man and he totally overdoes it and it's just like this gibberish craziness but it always makes me laugh so there was Gilbert was like I was very lucky to get to to know him and I was there when he when he passed away and everything like that but um the funny thing about Gilbert was that when he did your show you know he loved being on TV he loved he was kind of like the opposite me like I'm like you know I don't really want to be that known and like movies I could care Gilbert loved the attention he loved Show Business and he liked the whole thing you know you wouldn't know that but when you talked to him so quiet and kind of like introverted but like there were things that really activated him and like you could just tell by like his act like he loved like celebrity scandals and stuff like that yeah all those different things like it really would like his eyes would light up he would love to talk about it so yeah he was great that uh God I guess one day I'll be the Dead comic huh well depressing first of all first of all I think you're just getting started that's what I always say because like there's a lot of guys that like you know you think you can get any better and I'm sure it can and I think we're all in that in that moment now where it's like you know what's the next thing what's the whatever thing and for me it's just like if I can get people to keep coming out I can keep coming up with jokes I'll be more than happy you know that's really what it is whether I get on that stage through wheelchair or through lift you know I will try and keep doing it you know so thank you I think I know of course man I think you're my you're my favorite everyone always I would say to everyone you're Leanne's favorite I'm bumps here she's not here she's in Vietnam or she she is yes they called her up I sent her over to learn how to be a real woman there you go she was talking about a little bit what um can I ask what's happening with that movie of yours uh it's coming out uh Memorial Day weekend it is yeah I leaked uh I leaked this the sizzle uh teaser on Rogan awesome and where did you shoot that I shot in Serbia yeah I guess you had took three months in serbs yeah yeah and so I uh I leaked the sizzle or the teaser on Rogan and it got it got a big traction like one show and then uh and then everyone decided they were like oh let's let's release it and what how do you feel about that uh I'm excited but I'm I'm nervous because I you know it's like it's it's tough times for something like that right no is it about Russia no no no that was well that was a big concern yeah is that I figured it would be people that love letter to Russia is over so and I was like well it's not I go I I I said that's not what this movie's about it's about a father and son getting kidnapped by the Russian mafia right it's not celebrating Russia and so when I leaked the teaser they kind of looked and tracked comments regarding Russia and they got zero yeah and so and so and and but the wokeness was there and they wanted to make sure that I mean there was like there was a lot of things there's so many things that you know with corporate America that is that they that they have the radar up form and rightfully so sometimes sure you know um because they don't want you know ultimately it's a 30 million dollar investment I think if it was my money too I would be like hey I'm not just gonna piss away my [ __ ] money for sure because because you got a gut feeling and so uh I was thinking about that when I heard you were doing the movie yeah and then the way things are going right now I'm like you know that's a really tough one that's a really if if it is like heavy duty Russia because you know no it's it's a bad guy so it's fine they're the old they're the bad guys in this movie too well that's good yeah so they've always been the bad guys you should have had like let zielinski do a cameo you know in the movie you know he's a comic as well you know he's a little busy right now but so we'll be still doing spots yeah I was playing the Funny Bone in Bowling in the Krakow he he uh well I was gonna say like so that's a really cool thing so this is your first movie right the first movie like when Artie Lange who was another really good friend of mine when he was doing uh Dirty Work right whatever it's like you know I didn't think that movie would come out as well as it did and that's a great movie that I put that in the top 20 of comedy movies I mean it's got Norm in it it's got Don Rickles in it am I right uh yeah Don Rickles was in that one as well as Chris Farley's in it yeah so there's like a lot of the big comedy names of the moment so that to me is like you know that's pretty cool that like uh you know that was like already unfortunately you know you know already still going through different things right now but you know I miss seeing him out on the road I also miss seeing him you know just as a friend but like seeing him on stage like he was another guy like tell his stories were like undeniably funny I mean like so real all these people is like talking about their real like you know these these boring real stories that happen and this is like a real like crazy stuff that happened to him was like I couldn't stop listening and watching the [ __ ] best those are always been the guys I've been drawn to is like the Belushi's the yeah the [ __ ] arties broken and I wonder if it's because I wasn't really broken but I admired Brokenness right does that make sense like I think it's like there's there's definitely a sense of danger and whatever to it you know there's something sexier about being hung over in an airport at 8am than being with your [ __ ] together looking for a paper I assume it's like with your daughters when they see Machine Gun Kelly or I'm trying to think of them or whatever where they hit him on the jackass movie oh for real wasn't he being the guy being hit in the pool or something I was like that's pretty you know for one of those kind of guys that's pretty fun I was from Cleveland I figured anyone from Cleveland's got a children's one of my favorite comedy towns there is hilarities is [ __ ] yeah that is a great club classic Club a great [ __ ] club it's a classic club and the crowds there are really they're really cool yeah I love I love I love all of Ohio all of Ohio was always yeah to me what uh on this tour what are the towns because you know I wanted it on the last one you said you were doing Mississippi I've never played that but yeah but one playing Mississippi next week you are and then two weeks I'm playing maybe three weeks uh I'm playing Tupelo okay see I was like man I'd love to do that date because I've never played Mississippi well you want to do the Southern Run what you want to do a song I don't think I can do it with my schedule now I probably could go back and forth with the people and yeah I'll do that that's really nice I think I dude let me tell you something like what so what what are the towns that like you know what what are the towns you're looking forward to because these are some different ones from last year right yeah yeah they're all different well I'm the one I'm looking forward for the most is we're doing Forest Hills yes me too yeah I've never I've never been to a game or any of that I'm not a tennis guy yeah that's gonna be great and then we ended the gorge The Gorge is [ __ ] epic it's one of the most beautiful where is that in Seattle hey can you put Chris can you pull a picture of the glass wow in the city and no just outside it Overlook it's a stage at the foothills of a huge Gorge and Gorge Amphitheater in yeah if this place is [ __ ] insane oh look at that yeah so we got that one wow how many people can hold there um a hundred thousand I think a lot wow but uh see to me that would be a rough one because that reminds me of the old um uh what was that tour that they did Oddball the Oddball yeah it was basically Playing Fields you know 27 000. but I think we'll we'll just play the we'll just play that infield which looks like seating and so yeah we'll we'll just do like the the but there'll be plenty of room for fans and protesters you can set up a picket line that place is going to be a really cool yeah and then all the ones in between I think I think uh I think I mean we're doing a lot more uh Arenas than we would have not really yeah because we had we had we're doing some baseball parks we're doing some outdoor amphitheaters like this but the Wimbledon one I'm I'm thinking that one that's gonna be a funny recipe we were just talking about Russ is a great guy uh real funny guy love Rusty he always invited me to the uh matches there and I'm like I'm not going to test he goes dude it's like this awesome scene man I mean you know he is a fan of the game oh look at Rachel look at Rachel the people who do show up it's like it's like a real who's who of like you know yeah well I'm hoping to get I'm hoping we go into Forest Hills and I'm hoping we got a couple like I know I've got a couple people are gonna want to come out and don't want to be committed to the festival sure they want to come out and do guests that's like Segura for sure I was like I'm gonna come out to one I want to see it I want to and do a spot it's a surprise yeah like Rogan said he's interested yeah so those are the ones like these are the ones like this and the gourds where I go like I'm trying to get I I was trying to get Louis to come out and do a guest set at Forest Hills that would be great but he says he's retiring is he really he's retiring for a year uh but he just played the MSG MSG yeah and he was like he was like I gotta take time off I got to take time off I was like okay okay so uh but maybe I'll come still hit him up yeah I mean I told him just come out and have a beer with us yeah like just come out eat an edible Louie it would be it would be because in New York there's so many locals that would you know there's so many people that the crowd would go nuts for us yeah so I'm trying to get that to happen out there and then some of the other ones I mean this we're this year we're doing two months in June and two months two weeks in June two weeks and July taking 4th of July off so it's going to be and uh and I'm going to try I'm trying to put I'm trying to make everything special so like so like I'm trying to do more private jets because I think those are a little more a little more fun for the comics for sure that that I think it was Dayton to Rochester taking a private jet I mean that really turned some heads when we landed after Rochester International Airport [Applause] I got hammered on that private jet I know what you said this has cost me a lot of money take eat whatever's on this jet I paid for it I was like I totally understand that hamburgers me you and big J yeah like we're shoving kind bars in our pockets and weird you know even the people on the private ship they're like you're taking a privacy to Rochester like what happened is there a foreclosure on a factory or something uh well Dave thanks for doing this thanks for having me buddy I love you I love you to death I'm excited for this 30 minute special and uh and dude I'm always 24 7. I rarely sleep so if you ever want to reach out to me talk jokes I always check jokes with everybody so yeah I'm always here for you man and I can't wait for the tour fully loaded dude yes you're the best dude all right man thank you [Music] foreign [Music] foreign

Channel: Bert Kreischer

Views: 196,046

Keywords: Bert Kreischer, BertKreischer, Bert Stand Up, The Machine, Bertcast, Podcast, comedy podcast, stand up comedy, bert kreischer netflix, bert kreischer stand up, comedy, bert cryshure, 2 bears 1 cave, bert Krisher, bert Kriesher, bert Crisher, bert Kriecher, bert Kriasher, im the machine, comedian, standup comedy, bert Krishur, bert Crishur, bert, burt, Fully Loaded, tops off, somethings burning, at sea, Dave Attell

Id: yApUq6Dknk8

Length: 128min 59sec (7739 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 15 2023