Be Like Jesus: Self-Control

amen well here we are again we are in the believes movement the belief series and today our topic is self-control how exciting is self-control everybody loves to talk about self-control not really not really but today that's what we get to talk about the key question that we're going to ask about self-control is how does God free me from addictions and sinful habits how does God free me from addictions and sinful habits and here's what we have to admit if we're going to do this right we have to collectively admit one thing that each and every one of us is encapsulated in that screen right there that would say we all have sinful habits we all have addictions and some of us would go well addiction that's kind of this bigger thing that other people have or habits I have occurrences you know some of us are like no I've sinful occurrences but I wouldn't call them habits yet and the reality is every single one of us deals with addictions and sinful habits every single one of us is in a place whether we want to admit it right now or not that we have work to do in figuring out what does it mean to be free of the things that hold me what does it mean to be free of those things we have to define self-control though because if we don't define self-control we're not going to exactly know what it is that we need to do here self-control I'm going to define it with some help from Tim Keller and he's not here so he won't mind self-control is the ability to recognize and choose the important thing over the urgent thing because your desires are properly ordered ok self-control is the ability to recognize and choose the important thing over the urgent thing because your desires are properly ordered ok so a Valentine's Day happened right that was last week last Sunday you guys did all right with that wives shake your head if they did all right with that don't let them off the hook if you failed at that you got another chance next year so Valentine's Day happened right I buy my my both of my little girls get a heart-shaped box full of chocolates right I have two types of girls one who has self-control and one who does not and so one box is almost full still a week later she says dad I don't want to spoil my dinner or dad I don't want to get a tummy ache your dad kind of want to save it because I want it to be special so I just don't want to eat too much and I'm just going to leave it the other one has to go on top of the refrigerator with like barbed wire around it because my 300g will find a way to eat seven of those in one sitting she has no self-control it's like if it is there and it's in front of me that is the urgent need of my life and I will have it now see see one child is beginning to learn and and show off that she has the ability to set aside the urgent things in order to prioritize important things the other not as much and so as we look at our own lives and our ability to have or lack self-control we have to ask do we have that ability to recognize and choose the important thing over the urgent thing at every turn of our life in our society self-control has been oversimplified into techniques mainly techniques of avoidance actually if we can just avoid certain things then we will not sin in those things and so when we talk about self-control we're like I just don't go there I just don't look at this or I just don't do that and that's how I stay that's my self-control as I keep myself away from certain things that trip me up that's not a bad thing but that's not self control that's avoidance and so what we boiled it down to and parents know this is you have timeout or treats right it's either punishment or incentive well I grew up in the city I grew up a Catholic and I went to nine years of Catholic school I tell you this because it becomes important when I get into first grade and I get sister Angela as my teacher now sister Angela is the caricature that you would imagine of an Irish Catholic nun sister Angela had a ruler and I'm telling you her ruler was like 27 inches long and four inches thick and that was my self-control because when you cross sister Angela who seems all nice and cheery with rosy cheeks and the nun outfit in the whole thing what she would have you do is put your hands on the chalk holder of the chalkboard and as your knuckles stick up her ruler comes down and Swack you go and okay I won't do that again so she had punishment down she was good at that she also had the other side of what the way we teach self-control she had she had incentive and so a few of you will recognize him I'm about to say some of you were gonna think we're weird but that's alright we got a little Club we'll start one she had these things called holy cards anybody know what holy cards are anybody can see a couple of you grew up in the city here's here's what happens she would have this drawer it's like this holy drawer she'd open it and light would pour ah and if you did the right thing she'd open this drawer and you'd reach in and she'd go pick out a holy card dear and you'd pick one out this is when you didn't get your hand smack and you would reach in and kind of grab a card it's like a baseball card of Catholic saints okay you flip it over on the back and it tells you what their stats were well for miracles you know and so you reach in then you pull this thing out you're like oh I wonder which one I'm gonna get st. Ignatius yes yes complete the set it's a rookie it's his first one you know this is this was the incentive and so sister Angela knew you either got your knuckles rapped or you got Saint Ignatius and that taught me self-control or did it did that reorder my desires or did that just teach me to avoid getting caught right and most of our self-control rolls that way we try you know what I'm just going to avoid getting caught as much as possible I would argue this mostly in our society we have not learned real self control what we've learned to do is try harder we just try harder it's the American Way you just knuckle down white knuckle and I'm gonna just get through this somehow and grit my teeth I'm try harder and for most people that doesn't work I would argue that for all people that doesn't work and so my main argument today is that there is a break within us that no effort can overcome as we grapple for self-control there is a break within us that no effort can overcome and we start in proverbs 25 or the concept of broken walls proverbs 25 28 says this like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control this is a paramount thing to understand here though a walled city in biblical times was a safe city all major cities had walls around them it prevents invasions it keeps commerce kind of work in and it just makes everything happen without walls everything goes to chaos and so you were vital as a city to have the walls and you were vulnerable if the walls that come come tumbling down Commerce would break down the justice system would break down your security would break down you're vulnerable to military threat the whole thing was predicated on having walls around the city you can read a nehemiah in the first chapter of Nehemiah he sits in weeps for days it says because Jerusalem's walls have come tumbling down he is weeping over the falling of the walls of Jerusalem why because the city without walls a city with broken walls is either a disaster waiting to happen or a disaster that has just happened what happens is the citizens are left scrambling for survival as all of the the civilization breaks down people end up having to scramble just to survive and those who lack self-control are like this we become people who scramble from moment to moment looking simply to survive hold off the urge another day hold off that sin another minute just get through a little bit longer and so if self-control is the ability to choose what's important over what's urgent because your desires are properly ordered then we have to get to the root of where our desires are what we know was addiction and sinful habits are tied to self-control and we have the obvious ones we can all choose the you know the obvious big bucket addiction things using alcohol and drugs and gambling and sex and rage and eating either too much or too little like we have the big obvious ones okay I know they have a problem that's them That's not me that's no but then there's the subtle things that each of us struggle with and deal with where our attention goes well the kind of thoughts we have how do you react to news is it you have a first reaction this usually includes jealousy or fear that includes anxiety are you impulsive see shoes want shoes buy shoes right what are the subtle things that we don't even recognize we lack self-control we lack a place that we can properly order our desires and choose important things over urgent anyone who has experienced any of those above anyone who has experienced that feeling of lacking self-control in an area of life you know what it feels like to be vulnerable you know what it feels like to be a city without walls see most of us we wait we wait before we confess it to anybody we wait before we're accountable to anybody we wait before we say anything some of us in this room right now are denying that we actually have sinful habits because it's not that big a deal yet and we wait until we're decimated and then in total destruction in the ruins of the city then we go yeah there was a bit of a problem back there and yet what the Bible would tell us is that even a section of the wall even one section of the wall around the city makes the city entirely vulnerable because it doesn't take the whole thing coming down for an invading army to come in it takes one section falling and the dangerous thing about not minding that is that if we wait too long if we run confess if we don't have accountability if we're not dealing with our areas of sinfulness while that wall section is down and the enemy paroles in guess what happens when we finally get to putting the wall back up the enemy is now inside and no wall keeps it out reality is you lack self-control you know it when you lack it because you can feel it in areas of your life and finances you ever gotten to the end of the month and gone honey where did all the money go I have what what did we buy like it we didn't buy anything big it wasn't we didn't have any major what where did it go this month like how did that happen that's a lack of self-control what about eating you ever finish a meal or a series of meals and go about how many calories what that's ok I'll make it up by not eating for the next 6 weeks you know it's a lack of self-control or with our tongue you know I didn't even realize I was gossiping I was just telling her everything about this other person I didn't realize you know never connected those things we have these things and we go well that's just you know that was a point in time where that's in a kit know that's that's a revealing of a sinful habit that's a revealing of a heart that's got some work to do you ever get on the phone in the car I mean now you're not allowed to be on the phone in the car you have to like be hands-free and judging by the people I'm on the road with nobody pays attention to that law but you remember the first time you were on the phone in the car and you you got off the phone you hung it up after like a 10 minute phone call and you couldn't even remember how you got where you just got you know this feeling that weird eerie feeling where you hang up and you're like alright see you later whoa I must have turned somewhere I mean I'm on the right path but oh I don't you actually remember getting on the highway but I guess Here I am it's that weird feeling of like I was in control but not really right I mean like I everybody who looked at me saw that I was in the lane mostly but if I'm honest with myself I have no idea what I'm doing and that's this feeling that most of us have in the pit of our stomach around some area of our life and some hidden things some secret thing and we go most days I end up and if I'm on the path sylph I'm still on the right Road I go who I don't know how I did that but I guess it worked today we usually recognize our lack of self-control in quiet shame that we carry alone that's how we do it when you and I have a recognition of an area that we lack self-control we do it quietly privately and shamefully so I don't know what it is that is on your heart in your mind right now I don't know what it is that you're holding going Foom and what's that thing that the last thing you would want to be put up on the screen for the whole world to see what's that thing that you go that's the thing I hold and quiet and in shame and God wants to free you of that proverbs 18 verse 10 and 11 the name of the Lord is a fortified tower the righteous run to it and they are safe and the wealth of the rich is their fortified city they imagine it a wall too high to scale first this idea of a strong tower a fortified tower and so in a walled city the wall is security for the whole of the city and yet on the corners every so often there are these these towers these fortified strong towers rising up above the wall with walls twice as thick as even the outer wall and that's where the centuries are posted that's where the guards are that's the safest place in the city is in the tower built into the wall the wall is security the tower is greater and when an attack happens when an attack comes to call upon a city that is a walled city when the wall gets broken down people instinctively would run to the towers when the wall is breached you run to the tower for safety because high ground is defensible because the walls are double thick and so when the proverb says that the Lord is a strong tower it's due once these people instinctively knew what that meant that means when we get in trouble we run for the towers and this says the Lord is the tower to run to what's really being said that we need to hear is when we're in trouble you know what we do we run every single one of us in trouble and in trial we run everyone runs to their ultimate security in times of trouble he shows us this in verse 11 the wealthy is as the wealth of the rich is their fortified city that's their they imagine it a wall too high to scale what's he saying is the word imagine the the wealthy believes that this wall of their wealth is big enough to keep out evil and yet he calls it imaginary they imagine it's not real because money can't save your marriage money can't raise your kids money can't earn you into heaven money is an imaginary Savior and yet the wealthy believed that it's too high to be scaled and yet all of history says not a chance it's nothing each of us has something we hold like that we all carry these imaginary saviours that we run to each of us have a thing that if we say if I had blank I would be safe or secure or whole if I had blank my life would be complete if I had blank I'd be happy if I had blank what fills in the blank in your life your idols are revealed by where you run in times of distress where you turn for security when you feel most vulnerable your idols are revealed by where you run in times of stress you grab a drink something sexual you looking to make more money do you just want to turn on ESPN are you looking to entertainment where you run in times of stress is God revealing your idol I read a book this week called not the way it's supposed to be the author Cornelius Platt Inga said this he said addiction start of stress relievers and they eventually create their own stress and they spiral into trying to cure the pain with the very thing that causes it explained this way you get home from work one day and you go you know I just need a drink just take the edge off there's a tough day and so you start with a drink and then that worked all right so on Tuesday you get home and you another tough day and why not take the edge off you got a second drink and why not and on Wednesday you know it might take two drinks because one day was it really is a tough day and by Thursday you're on for drinks and six months from now you're on four or five drinks and every single night it's either a six pack or four and all of a sudden you go how did I get here it cycles and you know what the thing is is the thing that's relieving the stress from your life it ends up creating its own stress and so when it comes time to get out of this stress what do we reach for the thing that relieves stress in our life and so if it's a drink and you got a drinking problem when you feel stress what do you want a drink this is a problem and this is how it is with each and every one of these things the math works with sex with food with the internet with gossip it works when we get caught having gossiped about this person what do we if that's our stress relief to just go on blab about this person guess what when we're caught and we're even in more stress now what do we do you wouldn't believe what they just heard me say and we go talk to this person about that person and it creates a cycle it's not just drugs and alcohol it's not just things that we commonly think of as addictive things money makes me feel significant money makes me feel secure in my life and if in significance is my stressor I just don't feel like people respect me I don't feel like people have seen my parents that they've never even set up do a good job whatever that is that creates issues when you work in a two-hour week that creates issues at home and now you got marital issues that create more stress and more insignificant than more insecurity so what do you do double down into work is it's the one place where I feel like I'm in control where I can build my own significance and now you got a cycle again Plantinga said all these things are driven by a longing of the heart these are not exterior attacks these are things bubbling out from within us that we are chasing a faint reflection of the strong tower that all of these things are a faint reflection of what we're actually after which is the Eternity offered by God Jonathan Edwards famously said we always choose what we really want people said but I didn't really want to do that I mean it just happened to which the response is we always choose what we really want we often want Jesus in a situation we just want something else more we find ourselves in a habitual sin cycle we want Jesus we just want something else more why think about it how much time in a week do you spend cultivating your love and your affection for the Spurs for entertainment for a show for a celebrity for a friend for a boyfriend how much time in a week you spend cultivating your affections for various things are we surprised that all that we spend the time cultivating affection for those things so when faced with the choice between Jesus and those things I put all my labor into making this my chief affection so of course I choose it I want Jesus I just never cultivated affection for Jesus then this becomes one of our chief issues we have this affection that is on the seat the throne of our lives and we cannot get rid of it and though we want something else because in our head in our heart we know that's better for us I can't bring ourselves to do it Chalmers famously said you have the explosive power of a new affection the only way to get rid of an old affection is with a new and a greater affection and so if you have something you love and you wish you didn't love it more than Jesus guess what the only thing that's going to get it off the throne of your life is to get Jesus on the throne which means what will you spend your time on what will you spend your energy on what will you turn up your affection for the only way to rid ourselves of one affection one habit is in replacing it with something greater eventually all addicts realize all habitual sinners all of us have realized that sin never satisfies that sin never fulfills that it always takes more it always takes another level it always takes one bigger it always takes just a little bit more we cannot be fulfilled by less than the ultimate good which is God and so what is your tower where do you run in times of stress and times of anger and times where do you run if someone asks you right now what is that answer it bubbles up in your soul where do you run James 4:7 says submit yourselves then to God resist the devil and he will flee from you so to run to God is to resist the devil and so here's where we get to progress not perfection Titus 2 says for the grace of God has appeared the grace of God has appeared and that offers salvation to all people it teaches us to say no grace teaches us to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions to live a self controlled upright and godly life in this present age wait wait read it again grace teaches us to say no this is not how we teach self-control in our society because what is grace grace is while you are a sinner while you were an enemy of God he yet sent his son to die for you and he gave you eternal life that you didn't earn you don't deserve and it's your gift it's grace upon your life that's grace that makes us want to go so it didn't matter that I was a sinner and I still got it anyway cool sin and this is saying no that teaches us control it's counterintuitive logic but it works what we do in our society is fear and threats of punishment for a child that's timeout or being grounded for an adult since you're getting written up or laid off scare people straight that's the only way to get them on the right track short term at work short term fear makes us more driven long term fear makes us more upset more anxious and more sinful and it compounds our problems fear then creates something that we see a religious box coming around us and we feel the loss of Liberty and so what we end up doing instinctively as humans as fleshly beings is we want to then live in a city without walls don't you put walls around me that limits my freedom give me a city without walls and then the great irony is we are devoured by the very vulnerabilities that we chased we need freedom and our freedom consumes us grace teaches us to say no what beautiful counterintuitive irony grace teaches us no how because it says Grace has appeared Grace has appeared this is not some flowery language that it kind of ethereal II it's like grace fell upon you it's not saying that it's saying grace appeared as in Jesus showed up Grace appeared in the form of Jesus and the gospel is this that Jesus was run out of the city Jerusalem was a walled city and he was crucified on the outskirts Hebrews 13:12 says and so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through his own blood Jesus became radically vulnerable so we can be absolutely secure Jesus was dragged out of the city so that we might run into it for safety Jesus was given death so that we might know life this is the gospel this is grace and this is what leads us to self-control and when we get that within us that that is the place to run that is our safety it is our security it is the only hope then grace teaches us to say no because in the goodness and the arms of grace what more could I want grace teaches us it literally means it argues with your flesh the desires of flesh are not enough only grace becomes sufficient and so if Jesus and His salvation and grace and healing and right relationship with God become your ultimate your place you run you'll finally realize what you actually have had all this time you'll realize that all the things you thought you had to have all the things the status and the significance and the material all the things you thought you had to have do all those things that brought on fear and anxiety and envy and addiction all of those things the desire for those things will fade as the desire for Jesus grows as the desire for the power of the new affection in your life takes root the old affections fade away and grace teaches our hearts to say no and live well-controlled godly lives it's a journey it's progress not perfection no one is going to get it right all the time no one is going to get it right all the time and yet our even our stumbles teach us grace our stumbles allow us to realize again the beauty of grace that we are fully loved and fully accepted in Jesus's works and not our own because every time we fall we remember that it wasn't because I was good enough that he saved me it was because he was good enough that I am saved every time we fall every time we stumble every time we trip over the same habit we've been trying to kick for years grace catches us what we must learn is not simply to be caught by grace in our stumblings but to run to grace before we ever fall find yourself running to the strong tower to the good good father the father who loved you just as you were it's in his son just as you were so that you might know him not so you'd be good enough to get to him but so that you would be willing to see the grace poured out teaches your soul that there's no place you'd rather be then the arms of a father who loves you so much that he would give up everything to see you made right so we're in a series called believe to the degree that you believe what God says about you in his word to the degree you believe what God says about you in his word that you were accepted that you are beloved that you are precious that you are a child of his through the death and resurrection of his son to the amount that you believe that you will be able to grow in grace and the depth of his grace and his love and His mercy and as a result of that grace Q will grow in self-control that is the beauty of the gospel let's pray Heavenly Father you are a good father and you see us struggling in our sin father in the pit of addiction and habits and you don't run from us you stand strong and you call us to yourself and father my prayer for us this morning for this whole congregation is that first god we would confess to you in ourselves that we would confess that we are far we would confess that we are bound and then father that we would learn to run to you but as you open your arms to welcome us that we would run to the strong tower and not to all of the trappings of the world that you would protect us in your arms you would teach us grace again and as we grow in that grace that we might grow in self-control and as we grow in self-control father we might be more and more bold as your ambassadors as children set free having been given the gift of life in you and so father we lay our lives before you again we surrendered to you again we run back to you as our Father we say God we love you we thank you for Jesus we pray in his name amen god bless you dismissed

Channel: Grace Point Church

Views: 34,649

Rating: 4.846561 out of 5

Keywords: Sunday Morning

Id: esUdTs1KCUo

Length: 29min 30sec (1770 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 21 2016