AYG Comedy Podcast: Jim Florentine - American Dad

hey what's up everybody welcome to the are you garbage comedy podcast please take a second to subscribe to the YouTube channel that way you get the episodes as they come out thanks a lot welcome to another exciting edition of ru garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your hosts Kevin Ryan and H Foley hey everybody welcome back to everybody's favorite new podcast this is ru garbage the show we sit down with your favorite comedians and fun if they grew up classy or if they're complete trash I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day here at mommy's house in Bluebell Pennsylvania where the beers are cold and the pools empty my co-host back in New York City probably making a grab at some empanadas to load up on before he heads back down to the Jersey Shore he's the brains behind the operation he's my best friend let me tell you something folks next time you reach it for a best pal make it a kippie as kids all right give it up for Kevin James Ryan everybody hey gang happy to be here thanks for tuning in as always make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes and full video available on YouTube you can subscribe there as well they're for everybody waiting for me in North Wildwood I'll be back later today yep the Sam's Pizza ready daddy's dumb at home keep the [ __ ] funnel cake hot the kids coming back and I like it gang we are ecstatic to have our very special guests here on the podcast today we're gonna go over this rap sheet this man has got on him as an actor he has appeared in beer League Grand Theft Auto a little help Aqua Teen Hunger Force girls Californication Louie inside Amy Schumer trainwreck red oaks and of course Crank Yankers he is the host of everybody is awful on barstool sports he has also appeared on the Last Call with Carson Daly tough crowd with Colin Quinn Chelsea Lately the Howard Stern Show Jimmy Kimmel Live Gotham comedy live the Joe Rogan experience the Church of what's happening now and of course a hundred and twenty eight episodes of that metal show so we know he's got a little bit of cash everybody's mind today is he garbage ladies and gentlemen give it the [ __ ] up for one of the oh geez mr. jim Florentine ladies and gentlemen thank you my biggest creditor all of them you it wasn't listed on there I played the Bluebell firehouse when you mention Bluebell I'm like I remember being there Pennsylvania 45 minutes outside of Philly I member bringing a hot date there too I go look I got this gig tonight like I'll go with you and I didn't want to tell I was playing in the firehouse that's always not free toner was the Bellagio it's this thing I'm doing you know for my friend favor no I'll go with you I got nothing to do oh my God look at this firehouse she's like all right and she didn't fit in there stripping yeah holy [ __ ] oh that's funny man thanks for doing the show yeah no problem and I've spent a lot of time down a while what did the comedy club down there so I spent a lot of summers down there yeah that closed down how was that I never I never even got in there that closed before I started but I remember looking around at it it was amazing they did two shows a night seven nights a week see you next time you know so is the grace great for me to do to just getting up and do SATs it's better when I first started you know then the nightlife there used to be open till 5:00 in the morning the clubs in Wildwood they get on today while one plays it fast and [ __ ] loose even nowadays did I know it was open the five anymore nowhere else was open the five in the morning she would do wild plays by its own [ __ ] rules I was I've been down I've quarantined so my parents have a house down there when she hit the fan in New York and nobody knew what was going on I'm like I'm getting the [ __ ] out of here so me and my wife went down there and we were hanging out and I mean like just weekend after weekend there'd be more and more people games on the boardwalk open and not me and while people are [ __ ] collapsed and all over the [ __ ] world a lot while I was doing the ring-toss on Lori's beard it was crazy yeah good time now Jim you were born in Brooklyn but raised in Jersey did you did you guys look like two years old I moved from Brooklyn I remember being an act pretty much grew up in Jersey I live down in Florida for a little while but pretty much Jersey born and bred as a kid you live down in Florida when I was in high school junior senior year I moved out I my family moved down there and a couple years later I want blue back again so I spent about four years down in law did you move back so long as you went back with your family the day I graduated from high school I drove my shitty car back from Florida New Jersey's I hated it so bad down there yeah you know I hidden and I came back my yeah my parents decided to move between sophomore and junior year which was horrible because you know you have no friends yeah both grew up with a notice when you're down in I got putting like this private Catholic school where you know they were all like rich kids and stuff and I was like you know this heavy metal dude with you know Ozzie written on my notebook I've got a long hair they were all driving daddy's Mercedes I had beat-up shitty Volkswagen your parents decided to move you down there though my dad wanted to open up like a catering business down there you know he's in a dream he had a good job in New York and in Philadelphia he worked for a while and he just decided he wanted to buddies like lunch structions and go to construction sites and you know and buy a whole round of them like six or then a completely bar that was my dad's dream too he wanted he wanted he always wanted a hotdog stand and he wanted to lay one of the lunch truck because he's been fascinated with them our entire lives yeah we bought a router like six lunch trucks you know boy write off these people but I just feel like completely tanked that just didn't work out the Roach coach his baby gotta love them oh no they're really all that shitty and they rose dude a hot dog from one of them things was [ __ ] a okay man they cooked him in something else on those cards man oh yeah I know I used to but that was his dream he wanted to do that for some reason I don't know what it is with dads in that from the Northeast for some reason they think Florida it's like [ __ ] you know like it's just the end allbe it go down the Florida that's all they all want to do is go to [ __ ] Florida I don't get it well his mom and his brother live down and we go down there like once or twice a year for vacation okay yeah we had a lot of family down there you know so he just decided to take a chance it didn't work out I love the ball deck I love the balls for leaving a good job you know we had seven kids so you know you had to feed a lot of mouths so leaving a good job in New York City to try that you know try that out just didn't work out for what did he do in the city he was a count for a Dun & Bradstreet okay you know grow up middle-class yeah yeah we're going to seven of us you know crazy seven god damn the Irish Catholics they don't pull out I know the same my mom's one of nine and it's like we're like [ __ ] dicks dude everywhere we go they meet cause it's ridiculous I know I got 14 nieces and nephew all they marry and I'm 33 no I just got mad but it's like New York 33 we don't have kids you know what I mean and they're like we don't like I had five kids by the time I was your age on my yeah it's not happening over here it slow it down yeah yeah yeah they started in like 20 21 they married the first person and that was it yeah it's [ __ ] crazy seven kids so did you guys grow up in a single-family home would you guys have your own place because there was like an apartment or anything no we had a house nice yeah so yeah we play yeah classic you know white picket fence basketball court in the back you know playing bass warlords my dad was you know the coach manager all that stuff you know it was always do day they always came to the game so it's nice you know close-knit community it was cool the neighborhood we all just get together and just you know wreck [ __ ] all the kids we're wider than reckon [ __ ] there that's the vasa kid finding something you can [ __ ] break in the woods or something cuz [ __ ] second-to-none dude yeah just the kicks think kick things off since you brought it there do you guys have a garage growing up yeah inside that garage did you have an extra refrigerator like an old beat-up refrigerator what so doesn't [ __ ] like that we never had that we never had a second refrigerator no garage fridge no yeah I'm surprised you figured we might have had one like in the laundry room where the laundry was possibly a second one okay I can't remember though we always use that laundry room the top of the washer and dryer we put a sheet over top of that for parties yeah that's where the bar would be oh that's a good idea okay okay I ran late night sitting on that thing later sweet vermouth and cherries all over what the garage bridge is like an indicator of like trashy of link you know middle-class family because they get they can't come to terms with throwing out a refrigerator so they just keep it somewhere else in their house you know what I mean to them it's this huge purchase so they put it in the basement the laundry room the garage so it's like a signifier of a level of trashiness and I grew up with one of the garage from like nineteen you know it was from like 1964 so yeah yeah I don't know I mean if they did have a second what it was because you know they we couldn't fit the food and then one rip it's stretched out at you and your brothers and sisters pretty close in age is a 12-year difference between seven of us oh my mom was popping him out like every year and then it was like every other year towards the end and took a couple years off at the last one we were pretty close was that rotation trying to use the [ __ ] bathroom down there that must have been insane yeah you know it's like well I always say because I didn't masturbate for I was 21 and I said I shared a room woman through my other brothers so there's notes I could never zdenda bathrooms you out to get in get out so I just didn't have any personal place to do it oh you would have caught me in the woods or something there's no way I could last until 21 I mean I was looking at dirty magazines in the woods like you know a little for you know we built it yeah it was [ __ ] little stash everybody had that oh yeah yeah we go to garage sales again if like a dime old playboys or go to the woods and keep in our for you know now we get fireworks and Bob you know blockbusters m-80s and [ __ ] like that so yeah see that's the funny thing is one of the reasons why we wanted to have the honors cuz Kevin's old a bit younger than me I'm 44 so he's a 90s kid I'm an 80s kid and technically you would be a 70s kid yeah pretty much even the difference between those things it's like in the eighties you know when I was a kid wouldn't find Playboy's at a yard suddenly [ __ ] right there yeah I was definitely 70 [ __ ] a lot of fireworks and I don't know about the 80s but in the 70s is the ton of fireworks selling fireworks at a yeah yeah we got him for I don't know where we got him from but we were always setting them off well you know Maties blockbusters blowing up people's mailboxes yeah what a generation was really like your generation was like the ones that lost the finger fell off the high dive [ __ ] crack their head open at the roller rink so all that stuff started going away we used to bring fire throw me at concerts like a pack of firecrackers and stuff that was a big thing back in fact one of my brother's well your older brothers would take me is it people like no fireworks at shows and just throwing him in the crowd she's gonna close like like an inside square garden yeah just a pack of firecrackers just wing it and just you know be right by someone's head they look around like who did that and you just you know pretend you didn't do it that's great that was when you can't even like take your shirt off anymore at a concert like it back then it was just yeah if you ever like looked at it like a sporting game like a sporting event just everybody's like smoking cigs inside [ __ ] long hair shirts off fighters were smoking yeah and then also they used to always pass a joint around like the joint was always passed along and you just take a hit off you didn't know who started passing but I was like the thing to do or what was in it was like a pay a forward thing everybody just you've got a joint pass around to everybody in your aisle wherever you were sitting at a show so I was getting high like 12 14 years old going to concerts what concerts are you going to I saw it Lena Black Sabbath van Halen Aerosmith Ted Nugent I had all the brothers that would take me my parents a guy you could take him just take care of him again they were like four or five years old it was great yeah they know this would go tell mom like I'm not gonna tell her I'm smoking weed you go girl reader exactly damn that's [ __ ] that's at 17 at 17 I was like I don't like this I don't like the feeling tired I'd smoke maybe three times since mm-hmm I was the same day I started like 14 or 15 we stole it from like someone's mom or something you know and got a high in the woods I had a panic attack it 13 years old when you don't know what a panic attack is you really freaked now I'm like I'll I'm panicking but when you think the feds are after you when you're 13 smoking a three-foot bong [ __ ] gets a little dicey it does well those concerts must have been crazy because that was that mean that was [ __ ] lawless you're just er there's no scan you're just ripping a ticket that would they sneak you in and [ __ ] like that and like make you hide in the trunk and all that crap oh you could get in at any age my dad used to take me to pro wrestling matches at Madison Square Garden and you had a few I think either 14 or 16 to get in I think it was 16 because it was blood usually at those matches yeah and yet so I I used to wear my mom's high-heeled shoes like the kiss platform screws and we're like long jeans so you couldn't see so I looked taller so I can get in cuz my dad's like look I'm not gonna go from Jersey take the train to Madison Square Garden you can't get in mm-hmm so I was like I would say let's just make you make you look tall over some wreaths and it worked I never got stopped I was 14 going I supposed to be 16 he'd give you a briefcase to look professional on him don't [ __ ] this up for me kid I know because I'm gonna have to get the Train away already got the tickets and a lot stopped so I respect that old wrestling stuff like in the 70s they have it on like youtuber to WWE there was hardly any kids at those shows is all like grown men don't know wrestling now it's the opposite that's [ __ ] awesome let's go into the Florentine knives now your dad was a fan of wrestling he or he took he did Oh so wasn't he wasn't taking you he's like I'm going you can come with me oh yeah you were jamming up his night probably yeah if I couldn't get got any bottles left me at Penn Station all right let's go into the Florentine house growing up growing up obviously the bathroom was probably a chaotic situation do you remember what kind of soap your mom would get you obviously it was probably a bar do you remember what it was if I had to guess it was probably cheap the cheapest soap because my dad had you know seven kids so he'd probably get it at like no frills was a brand back then remember that yeah it's not a real thing yeah it was a real thing that's called no frills come on that's garbage they would sell like paper towels paper plates probably so I remember there was one aisle in the store like a half an aisle it was just no-frills [ __ ] so so I'm gonna stop he would get it would be in the no frills aisle so it was definitely cheap so I don't think it was ivory because ivory was like the top and a line that that was the Cadillac what do you use now do you use like gel or did you do you step it up a little bit now that you know you're older and got a little bit of cash you still go no frills no you know I used to always take them from the hotels and use I always take them like I'm taking of taking and using home thinking the hairdryer in the roads and [ __ ] yeah take the iron you know come back I took the soap and there's shampoos and conditions for years yeah but now I probably just yeah probably better I don't know what soap it is I got it uh I don't know but it's not shitty so yeah this is good yeah my friends actually got a Bowtique so I get her soap there it's probably some organic [ __ ] but I just do it to support her there you go little boutique action now I'm antsy do you think you're garbage or no what would you say yeah I know I I'm you know I've been a fan for you for years listen all your like you know all your stuff so I definitely know you're you know you're definitely a little rough around the edges when it comes to light partying and girls and stuff like that but I don't know if you're garbage pretty what garbage means yeah it depends well those thrills isn't a good start I can tell you that yes stealing the stillness shampoo from and motel 6 that was nothing I mean you know is it garbage when we are out tailgating and we have just one drunk friend that gets so drunk he doesn't know where he is half the time and we kissed him what in a cop him we gave it to him as a beer and he drank and is that I mean that is that garbage because a good time whatever it is that is a good [ __ ] time you make that face I like this and then just kept talking what is it said import it was 90 degrees out so he's like I did just gave me a warm beer you know he wasn't but that was lazy made he wasn't sure and then he just kept talking about 30 seconds later I love how a muscle Arina get that to a friend you still talk to that guy yeah dude as fun as the 80s and 90s were like growing up in the suburbs the 70s must have been [ __ ] awesome I didn't remember you know as a kid I grew up like I had this neighborhood all of us were friends we had a baseball field like we had a pool community pool and it was a baseball field there we had the woods in our backyard we got home from school at 3 o'clock I think maybe we did a homework for a half-hour and then our parents to go okay be back home at 6 o'clock for dinner that was it and you were gone for two and a half hours every day playing football in someone's backyard we had the baseball field we get a game together there or we just go in the woods and just you know I can just mess around yeah look at magazines let off fireworks or just hang out yeah snow was just like beastly almost 6 o'clock and that was it so that was pretty you know was great we're all pretty much friends all the kids in the neighborhood we'd all get together yeah our little cliques and all that stuff so yeah always pretty much what we did a community pools not there anymore right yeah it's still there yeah Wow yeah yes and I would be open you know Memorial Day to Labor Day or whatever so we go down there and you know we'd always try to get there lifeguard wet we jump off the diving board and do a cannonball I try to get him wet sitting up there that's all we did the whole day he's like you guys are [ __ ] you know do you jump right by like it almost like a you know right underneath them jump way out there again I'm gonna cannonball and your friend goes yeah you got him wet they would just be mad at whatever just being dicks and now did you that I had my swim club we did it I thought it was normal but the more we do this show no one knows what the [ __ ] I'm talking about we used to think the pool people used to grease a watermelon and throw it in and then you would have to like try to get it to the other end of the pool there was like teams do you guys do that at all oh yeah apparently my how much just a bunch of [ __ ] hillbillies like did you ever go away to like day camp or sleepaway camp or anything like that no now Cam's yeah that was always like rich kid [ __ ] I felt like I mean my mom and I would never go to a sleepaway camp that's crazy yet I always heard a lot of the rich kids the parents didn't want to be around in the summer so what would you do most summers just play baseball in the backyard basketball whatever you know baseball went front till like the middle of July and then that played football for a little while too so that started like August 1st well we're just hang out you know just hang out and you know play stickball I was a big thing we play were kids I was [ __ ] great all right let's lock into some questions here Kippy you want to kick it off I gotcha um-hmm have you ever snuck onto a golf course to go sledding no ok ok we're stuck in a golf course to do something more [ __ ] up no I was never at night no I'm not you know I've never been golfing like two times before I'm a lefty they never had club I didn't want to buy clubs and I want to get up at 6 o'clock in the morning they go [ __ ] golf when I'm on the roads a lot of comedians would do that yeah a lot of people I never really got into it so but no I never it's not gonna do I've never really around golf courses we did that in Philly my dad took us and I'm like might it be really common if I was a kid I remember hopping a fence with my dad I think it's like deep break into the course I'm thinking any time you have to hop a fence and like with you know your father or parental figure it's never a good sign you're doing something wrong so you went sleigh riding on the golf course yeah like at night we would break in like he we would like sneak onto the course and he would be like throwing kids over the fence so we can like go you know end up ruining the fairway or whatever Weiss all right let's get back into the house here growing up what chart what brand of chocolate milk would your mom get you know chocolate milk no chocolate milk in the house at all was your mom hardcore no my dad just you know there was too many of us they would be gone in two seconds so he wouldn't buy it because it was just you know we'd fight over it and you know he's just like I gotta feed seven kids I can't afford chocolate milk your dad was the one that went to the grocery store that's the picture I'm getting oh yeah and he would drag us to go with off you know - he'd pick two or three of us and he'd go to like four or five different stores because he always had coupons I'm like dad you're driving you're driving 15 more miles to go save 50 cents isn't it I can't even figure it out as a kid he loved the bargain we had a Cadillac what he loved to eat save 50 cents on eggs that's awesome what uh what grocery store do you go to now that's a big one there's like a wag men's near my house Nancy Wegmans foods I used to go to in the beginning but I'll really go to anymore but you're pretty much like wait there's also like this local Italian place near my house which is great they got the best rolls the best meats a lot of times so I go to support them you know how to local businesses that's great you you live in a single-family home now or is it a condo single family home so do you have a garage fridge now no but I have one in my basement it just just look here yeah second fridge just for drinks and yeah there's only beer yeah and I have another little like monster energy refrigerator I got from the company but I only have water and like you know sparkling water drinks in there for kids like my son is friends well that's awesome yeah but the refrigerators just be your downstairs I don't care about having any beer and refrigerator upstairs yeah do you want is your basement finished yeah do you have like sorry go was it finished when you bought the house or did you remodel that's the only reason I bought the house it was a finished basement with a more with a baller that's okay I don't give a [ __ ] about anything else I don't care if it is the 1970s toilet paper man yeah that's a big that's a big middle-class suburban dream is to have that finished basement with the bar that's like every guy's dream oh yeah yeah every one of my friends has it so yeah yeah do you have any games yet like a ping-pong table or a pool table bumper pool or the the top of the line is a shuffleboard if you can get your hands on a shuffleboard which yeah shuffleboard but where would you put the shuffleboard Oh people have them in their basements if they have like a big basement they have like yeah like that like the ones at the bar do you slide the metal discs on all right okay yeah no I I have that like pop-a-shot that's pretty losing a lot I got it in the garage Mike my son at his friend's the blast nice that's pretty legit and I gotta tell you as a little kid you you'd come across it every once in a while but from your son's perspective his friends if I walked into somebody's house and they had like like you're like you're saying like the the Red Bull cooler or whatever or something like that that's you like what the [ __ ] does your dad do that you used to blow you away when you'd see something like that yeah they loved it you know cuz they they you could go in there they got drinks and then I over liked it you know a cabinet where there's all stacks and they're so they'll go down there they just hang out down there and open them up and get their drinks I just say stay away from the booze they know that you know they young anyway but the Papa Schadt thing is only like 300 bucks I thought it was gonna be like 3 grand 3 on a box I'll get it yeah oh that's so trashy that's my body had one growing up we would spend [ __ ] hours in the basement doing that hours yeah you know he's got that it's good morning friends come over and stuff but yeah it's good that one refrigerator you separate the booze you put the water in a one uh-huh you know to sparkling grape drinks whatever the [ __ ] that is you put them in there too with the waters and you know the other refrigerators all beer just liquor yeah that's the American dream man yeah it is what kind of snacks do you hook up for the little guy now you know they got chips popcorn pretzels oh yeah you get him any gogurts or any Lunchables or anything like that he doesn't none of that [ __ ] yeah now eats regular stuff you know what I just found and I fact you know I used to eat this as a kid I don't know if it was I remember in the 70s my dad would always get his his tree tavern frozen pizza I don't have that he always a frozen piece of your bike and I've least eat it as kids and it was amazing right and I just saw it I was in a quick check the other day getting [ __ ] I saw it in there like well I haven't seen this [ __ ] thing in 25 years and now my kid loves it so I go to quick check to get shriek tavern pizza and he loves it now what the [ __ ] a quick check it's like a wah wah okay convenience store yeah yeah that's a good media store yeah I thought it was a check cashing place oh my dad thinks that sells this okay how's the pizza you know yeah they got the North American distribution rights the quick check mostly yeah nothing's better than a good frozen pizza man you get your hands on a good frozen pizza I'm uh it's it's bougie to me we grew up a tombstone but now I get in the French bread Stouffer's French bread is [ __ ] clean living le o's pizza was another one was family le o's pizza in a couple episodes of Hogan's Heroes [ __ ] good night we were so trashy I think we called it Elios for the longest time illios le oh I think it's as I got older I'm like we were saying it wrong for [ __ ] 15 years so your dad would hook you up with that he'd get you Leo's pizza would he get you like what was the ice cream situation there would it be able to bring that [ __ ] in the house or would it be ravaged he would like Friday was pizza night so you could you know get the pizza on Friday that was the thing no sometimes you get it from a pizza place but other times we just you have le oh so we were happy with that the ice definitely wasn't Breyers if there was Breyers cuz I was like the top brand at the time if that was his ice cream you couldn't touch it for an old on of dads so we get them more there whatever a generic not the number and otherwise which is fine it's a kid I don't give a [ __ ] yeah we would get the the big the one in the big clear tub like member was always like it was like a four gallon er now when you sit in our freezer for [ __ ] most of the summer what there's a lot of any no real good stuff expensive stuff has always had a dad's he note on it that you couldn't touch it yeah don't touch yeah my dad was a sherbert guy and I was not touching that as a little kid I was a giggle [ __ ] yeah give me the chocolate of vanilla swirl buddy you keep that fruit [ __ ] to yourself you don't like Sherby you're not a Sherby guy it's alright but as a kid you read what's rather ice cream yeah I thought it was like French or something I'm like get the [ __ ] out of my house what's this Russian get this commie okay all right I got one who's anyone in your family everyone a Dodge Neon probably not I used to have a Toyota Tercel oh oh I used to get beer from a guy who drove a Toyota Tercel it's probably Florentine oh yeah I ran a guy I sold it to somebody after it had like a hundred and ninety-three thousand yeah I still got like a grand for the car damn was it the hatchback one no no it was the four-door mm-hm it was a 1993 I bet when I started doing was don't common a couple years and I got a college agent somehow yeah and I made like six grand in in like a couple of months doing colleges like 750 bucks apiece toured over like old I never had that much money ever I took that money and I put it down on a brand new car so I said I'm gonna beat all these gigs so I bought a Tercel was like 9,000 I put six thousand down on nine thousand dollar car paid the rest off whatever and just ran out and bought a brand new Toyota Tercel and drove over for Robby like seven years damn it was amazing and never broke down once and needed tires every thirty forty thousand miles but well change was an amazing car yeah those cars were so the American car industry got [ __ ] crucified they hated it I really wanted to buy American you know my friend who buy a Ford ago I'd like to buy a Ford what are you gonna pick me up on the side of the road and caddy 3:00 in the morning dude I had I had a chef my first one was a 95 Chevy lumina I think like an old like grandfather car you know dude and that thing broke down every there was something wrong with it every two days every two days it was like ah 300 bucks here 250 there 20 there yeah I would have kill firts or so yeah I Foley what do you got I want to stay in the car with him um did you ever or do you now have a radar detector in your car I used to definitely I have one for a little while but it was still annoying it would go off all the time yeah yeah they didn't work yeah I maybe had it for like six months I tried it I don't really speed that much you know so I was like what do I need this thing for it it would constantly go off and just didn't wash it out of me so staying in the car as well did you ever have a CB radio no okay did you ever own an iroc-z a Trans Am or a z28 no I was never a car guy I'm always been like even now I got a Honda Accord I'm like just I was never big in the cars and flashy [ __ ] am I gonna meet that stuff like I'm trying to impress I don't know to me I was in some of my family members they loved the car cars and she felt like that may I'm just like I just want satellite radio and and and uh and cruise control I tell my sister and air conditioned she goes well that comes with every car oh that's all I want and you see how she had a car but do you use cruise control now you still use cruise yeah yeah always especially on the highway if it's 65 I'll set it for like 72 what I won't get pulled over so I just keep it at 72 or even I'm driving through a 40 mile an hour zone I'll put it out like 43 44 and just use gurus control on the regular street see I'm always worried that like I'll forget that I'm driving it's like your foots you know your foots just chillin there well don't you see a car in front again you know you guys I still pay attention he's not he's not sharpness tool yeah no I do cruise controls great cuz then you just set it where you know hard I'm not gonna get a speeding ticket mm-hmm you know I'm not gonna be I'm not gonna set it at 90 in a 55 but I know I can get away with 65 and a 55 there you go I don't think I've ever used it um have you ever put bumper stickers on your car oh yeah yeah I'm hauling what first couple of cars mostly like Black Sabbath Ozzy Osbourne Judas Priest Motorhead I never put anything on after that and then I realized this is immature yeah yeah you're doing it as an adult it's that I already got Black Sabbath cranking from my stereo system with the windows open we're a super loud system so I've already can hear do I really need a bumper sticker - did you do you have a Center sound system in your car in a like an upgraded system oh but I did that's the first thing you did when you were an amazing sound system I think the sound system I did my first car costs $300 a sound system was appraised spend I spend more on that yeah that's a real garbage thing dude I didn't say I think I spent like seven hundred bucks to put a CD player in my in my [ __ ] Chevy lumina it was like this bigger I'm gonna take the whole dash out it didn't go back on it was a mess yeah Toyota sticker an automatic I can't more if you said that it was a stick it was a stick man that's [ __ ] kids don't know how to drive stick anymore yeah in a state you know I looked at it like this okay I could drive a stick and I'm gonna be doing mostly highway mileage you know driving these gigs and then also we got better gas mileage to us yeah yeah yeah I never even learned never learned to drive stick I've a laid once i valeted one summer and they like taught me in the parking like I like get it from where was into the parking spot but you a stick car would come in like once every you know ten weeks never happened what jobs did you have growing up as a kid Gym dishwasher busboy and landscaping yeah three of the big ones one how old were you when you started working 14 yeah well that's a big thing on the show it's like what you learn as a 14 year old what you have like when you're working with like real man like ex-cons are like people getting back on their feet the [ __ ] you learn as a 14 year old washing dishes you can't learn anywhere else yeah I was a busboy and dishes and yeah I pretty much I've been working I may be taking three the coronavirus is the longest I've got four since I was 14 years old I always had two three then I worked in a hardware store you know I worked in the garden shop and I would make deliveries like lawnmowers and stuff like that so I did that for a while well yeah I was always about 14 is when I started nice do you currently own any Omaha Steaks no never happent good never had him No classy okay has anyone in your family ever been in the contraption known as a money booth where you stand in the telephone booth and grab the money that blows around I'd say probably not okay they made my mom do it at the car dealership the one time I was embarrassed to say the least [ __ ] grown woman reaching for one dollar bills that well her her monthly payment have you ever gotten a haircut outside hmm it's usually not by a licensed professional oh yeah I used to I used to go to my friend's house his wife would cut my hair I was trying to think that we ever did outside but I've done it in a kitchen before yeah that's classy growing up did who cut your hair when you guys are kids they think you the barber did your mom or dad do it no we took took us to a barber okay yeah have you ever had your picture taken one of those old-timey photos no I hate that [ __ ] worse or worst I've got I'm being with girlfriends and I want to do that yeah yeah because then you guys break up and then you're the [ __ ] [ __ ] in the picture with the new guy that's banging really who the [ __ ] is this yeah I know yeah look like I faked tommy gun and a stupid [ __ ] hat on get out of here do you currently own a drone no dear I have you ever owned a paintball gun now a t-shirt gun no what's he doing a halftime at the Knicks we never went paintball I never did that before I mean the t-shirt gun I figured he prank he could have picked one up over the years yeah I could say that have you ever sold anything in a flea market no but I go to flea I would go to flea market and buy stuff yeah there's a flea market near my house and me and my friends would go there every Saturday and Sunday one of the days and just walk around and buy used albums or get sneakers there whatever so we'd always that was not like that I and I bring my kid there the same one I used to go to you know just buy buy you [ __ ] yeah I think it's the unknown - cuz you're like we would get like I knew you'll get like a pocketknife or like somebody would have fireworks or so I was like [ __ ] you shouldn't be buying you could get it a kid in the flea market finds last last year I got a mall to see this way market let them off my air yeah I know we had to ask for the good stuff it'll be like some Asian lady yeah and they'd be in the back in the car they would not in the van yeah we uh we used to get you sneakers there - Oh like they would sell you sneakers they were you know they weren't that worn and wood but we get him for like 15 bucks a pair we could be like 40 and we buy that that's great did you ever gonna rest it when you were a kid never not once well pretty sweet pretty nice do you uh did you ever wear a t-shirt in the pool I would say yeah as a kid yeah no okay we go swimming all the time now I never did that you weren't chubby as a kid where you would chubby kinder skin I look super skinny yeah you're in good shape you silky is still in good shape why just yeah I guess there was enough food to go around you have the bougie ice cream I remember I weighed 87 pounds when I was in seventh break those on the wrestling team Jesus yeah so yeah 87 my son just like 87 yeah John Kim all right have you ever had the Oscar Mayer cheese dogs with the cheese already in them come on wow it's got a bougie man Oscar Mayer baloney yeah you have to rip the ends off you can never eat the ends I know that was that was definitely cancerous that rubber [ __ ] that was all your was you weren't a liverwurst guy where are you Wow no not live work but that Bologna was nasty what I [ __ ] love right now I liked them when I when I was a kid I remember trying it like probably like 15 years ago you know what I had the other day it's pretty [ __ ] good I bought a bag of the hormones pre sliced pepperoni and was just happen those they were [ __ ] I haven't done that a decade that's clean living right there Hormel was real shifty man that was right up there with Dinty Moore beef stew do you remember that Jim no I don't remember Oh den team or beef stew was like [ __ ] roadkill meat it was terrible I was a chunky man you guys we got still our mommy yeah we always got salami that was happy too when it came on that roll like he would roll like I came in like a long like a foot long thing yeah yeah it was a tough look in the in the cafeteria because you knew there was three kids in the cafeteria that I'd [ __ ] salami on their lunch and you could pinpoint him out like they were google map watch them whenever you burp bad hangs with you for a couple days just a burp and then burp burping to people you know my friend's face is like oh my god that's too [ __ ] funny that's good all right let's see here have any of your home's ever had green carpeting yeah I'm trying to remember yes there was green stuff yeah yeah so it's like a weird vibe sorry go yeah there was green somewhere are definitely mm-hmm if you still have green carpeting it's definitely time to update if anybody still has if you just looked at the like [ __ ] do you currently still use spray on deodorant yes you do you're using spray what do you got right card um no it's some I don't know some like organic [ __ ] okay that's all whatever like that I used to break out like if I used that regular shitty deodorant I don't know I know he's worried I'd be sweating like a maniac and I would I always had sweat but I always had big pit stains and I was a kid which is the worst oh that's bad never wanted to be in class with big pit stains I used to put toilet paper under my armpits and dry it up yeah piece of toilet paper sticking out when I'm in class well that [ __ ] never was I finally found like or dispray that works are you better then I will use the roll-on like that Tom stuff I try to that work for a little while it's C I don't think any of that organic [ __ ] works good I want I want [ __ ] flex seal you need the aluminum it's the aluminum that stops it so all like the organic [ __ ] doesn't have the aluminum but some of them you can get it'll [ __ ] likes it when cauterizes the [ __ ] there was no there's no better smell than men in speed stick oh so good it was i beep it now like I just ran a marathon in a [ __ ] in a desert within 10 minutes with that on but it smelled amazing I know I had like a little bit of hand of like medicinal smell to it you know and yeah and girls loved it too that smell but it's just like you know no girls coming near me when were you a co are you a cologne guy never- war for a little bit I don't believe in cologne do you remember what you wore it's overrated do you remember what you wore when you weren't for a little bit a brute brute as a [ __ ] man's cologne buddy I know twice Old Spice Old Spice did you pop wear Cologne yeah he wore cologne what did he go for probably probably - I think that's why he would have rigidly discovered it in his bathroom yeah that's old-school my stepdads a Stetson man still Hey Dude every bottle comes with [ __ ] spurs on those things yeah I just stopped with the perfect I don't know what the Cologne I don't know I don't even like a good when a girl wears a lot of perfume [ __ ] turns me off yeah you like tasting it and [ __ ] it's all it's all over your hands yeah that's gross goin up did your family have an electric bug zapper in the backyard at point never Kippy um okay have you ever had a KFC bowl no I don't know what that is okay that's good [ __ ] it's like basic layers of like it starts off I don't think they make it anymore but it starts off with like mashed potatoes gravy cheese corn chicken cheesy and I think okay no just like a whole mess of whatever they got back in a [ __ ] bowl and they give it this sounds pretty good to me yeah we you know we an FK FC once in a while maybe like twice a year my dad would splurge and we go to Kentucky Fried Chicken cuz that was the top-of-the-line stuff yeah so two like twice a year you bring the family to air or you bring up back home what we did it mmm-hmm what was the last time you ate fast food in your car you just sat there and ate it oh yeah I took my kid to White Castle hey that's a good dad right there yeah we watched uh I want two more oh yeah go to White House and it was blown right by our dinners one right by our house so he went to the drive-thru it was open that we sat in the park I hate it ah a [ __ ] vest man that's the absolute best have you ever been to Cancun yes for what was it for like Thomas goes there okay they were doing comedy shows just booked a shady book or a book the everyone forever shares the shady butcher because you're gonna can't cone it they will get like $300 for the week on my count which one shows like six days that are a week okay we get there there's only one hotel room for three comedians because withstanding the resort in the comedy clubs in the resort the first night all three of us slept in the same bed Jesus Christ and we Co calling a guy we're trying to get in contact with him from Cancun you know and then we went to get a second room so we had to room but yet was shady but it was great Cancun was great who are those comedians do we know them and they still they're still around uh no one was uh this guy Danny Vermont he's a writer for Bill Maher show he's been out in LA for a long time okay and I can't remember the other guy but it was it was sketchy and then we went to a strip club we told the taxi bring it and he took us like 20 miles outside of Cancun oh we're and every foot every every minute you go you're getting more and more nervous I'm like where the [ __ ] are you taking me if you ever seen you ever see from dusk till dawn when they go to at strip clubs up popped up in the middle of nowhere Mexican I felt like we went in like five minutes like we're gonna get killed and we lucky to camp was still there he took us back have you ever gone to any of the resorts like sandals or hedonism or anything like that no okay what about a cruise you a cruise guy I went out one grows when an ex-girlfriend I hated it I don't seem like a cruise guy is there is like a heavy-metal cruise it's called Monsters of Rock cruise every year we have a bunch of different bands sound like bands from the 80s and I go on every to the last four years well a host I'll introduce the band's I do a comedy show so I do that so yeah that's working no yeah but yeah I'm gonna go if I wasn't getting paid yeah have you ever gambled at an Indian casino yeah I'm not a big gambler but I've gambled a little yeah and you casino yeah yeah have you ever been have you ever hung out at an OTB yeah I had a friend that was a big gambler and he would uh he would go there so I'd be in them like this is pathetic sad scene it was in really good shape uh so you're the only guy with six pack abs in a no TV know that ever it's a bad line up every time you go in there and all the [ __ ] tickets on the ground and [ __ ] that's when you know you got a gamble bro you're not even going to the track I'll go to the track and make a day out of it you see the horses yeah that doesn't like BYOB that's an event but if you're at the [ __ ] OTB in Queens or like Newark or something you really [ __ ] up there's the same time I was bringing him to one of my gigs and we had a listen it were like a flyer exhibition game and on the radio on an AM static radio because he had the under in the front what's the under on a hockey game was maybe one and a half or two whatever was and I'm like you got to be kidding me I can't listen this guy's not come on they got a score I need one more an exhibition game to the regular season you bet on the Pro Bowl like a [ __ ] camera commercial don't like this is when you see your rock bottom oh man I think that's [ __ ] so funny I think I only got one more left here have you ever requested to sit in a smoking section I don't think so okay maybe you know probably because if I went the restaurant and it was only tables in the smoking section oh my god put me over there so yeah I would say yeah that was we I mean I lived in the smoking section all through the night I I thought you were a [ __ ] if you didn't my dad we would just go any like smoking table for for smoking we were just hanging out and [ __ ] people were just baking it out with Newports the whole time yeah because I was you know before I did comedy I was a DJ in a rock club and then the comedy club so I was always in smoke and I am oh my god I didn't like it but I was like whatever the smoke I'll just deal with it so in a restaurant no matter if [ __ ] that was an allocation now if I feel so much smoke around me it freaks me out I know it's weird yeah that was an occupational hazard for a comedian was the smoke I mean you're a viewer in Club seven nights a week they were just smoking in there it was like you couldn't see like a foot off the stage cuz of a smoke like you do two shows on a Saturday I remember in st. Louis the club there [ __ ] just everybody smoked and it looked like there was a fog machine you couldn't do crowd work I just got two more questions for you what I want to know have you ever been or involved in a monster truck show no never no I mean I'm white trash but not that I think your car Todd did so far man your answers are pretty good yeah you're all class just one last question would be is the big thing on are you garbage is growing up would you get milk with dinner did you drink milk with dinner jim Florentine I would say no because what would go with milk thank you nothing no dinner goes with milk everything goes with milk now because like if we had cereal obviously in the morning we're a big cereal family so that was the milk and then maybe if you had cookies later you would have milk with it yeah never a dinner I mean because we knew that pizza pasta hambert or so the fun there's lunatics Jim there's lunatics out there that would sit down with a bowl of pasta and a big glass of [ __ ] 2% and jam right here nope with what-what-what dinner would you have milk Wes we'd have milk I would as kids we got milk with every single meal doesn't matter if it was pizza pasta meatloaf was a big one he can't hamburgers yeah I love all that stuff with milk I love this it's gross did you when you got older do you realize that milk wasn't on the menu my exact argument thank you well you know it was that whole theory with the parents is that you drink milk your balls get bigger yeah that whole thing yeah I was good marketing method [ __ ] if my big milk I'll tell you that now it's wide oh you get a lot of calcium your bones in the draw I think they could grow on their own yeah everybody else seems to be doing all right without me without the milk ah man no milk with dinner I gotta tell you jim Florentine you're all classic mine's a classy guy that's a guy might be the first like really really true all class about everything I didn't really hear anything other than things that like you know the times dictated you know so he set off some fireworks at a concert I told you to I had my friend my friend drag a couple miles like 12 years ago so it wasn't like when I was like I can't say I was 12 when I did it yeah was that yeah we were talking about the seventies I thought that is that like Molly Hatchet or something no and tomorrow but I went to a show I do it all again oh my god I'm actually mad that I'm not that I know you're I think I think your your behaviors garbage I think your upbringing was yeah your behavior you've got some question will behavior for shorts but I think your upbringing was and your your life now is yeah it's all class all class you got the finished basement you know [ __ ] you're shopping at a Wegmans I mean there's some animals out there that are like [ __ ] you know yeah organic spray on deodorant I don't even know where you get that that's rich guys [ __ ] it's not that expensive you get away boys but no but I still pit out like if I wear regular do you know you don't want to be on stage like that before he became a comedy I'd be at pit stains that's what everybody's gonna be focused or not like what the hell's wrong with this guy they'd be trashing you now oh my god oh I dunno it works for me oh my god if I got to pay an extra dollar but it's not that you know yeah same t-shirt the next day you're going to become actually we all wish we had the extra dollar for the organic deodorant in the finished basement and the doodle Monster Energy that's trashy but [ __ ] clean living awesome man I had like they they endorsed me for like a year or whatever so I just saw it in my podcast by Monster Energy and they sent me a catalog do you want anything I go I'll take the refrigerator like okay see that's clean living it would be trashy if you bought it if you see like 1,200 on a monster fridge now don't use that as the main fridge upstairs in the kitchen yeah that would be yet how'd you get I do have a Jagermeister machine in my face that's that see you've achieved that what every garbage person once you've achieved it if you were to if you were to talk to some like you know some bum in Central Jersey be like hey one day you'll have a [ __ ] a finished basement with the basketballs thing a monster energy a Jagermeister machine is everyone explode you know anything I guess if I put it on the kitchen take in the kitchen a Jagermeister machines yeah if it's in the bedroom then questionable you know oh my god so fun so I'm sticking with my original assessment jim Florentine all class Skippy I love Jim thank you so much Vance has been awesome is there anything you want the folks out there to know that we didn't mention my podcast every Monday and Thursday on barstool sports where we get podcasts it's called everybody's lawful to podcast awake afraid very nice buddy honestly thank you so much for coming on we really appreciate it everything you got yep ah yeah it was good yeah guys just make sure you rate review subscribe on iTunes and also full video is available on youtube so you can subscribe there as well we appreciate all the support so far yeah we love you guys and we'll see you next week for another exciting edition of are you garbage one more time mr. jim Florentine thank you so much sir we appreciate it thanks man see you about it

Channel: AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast

Views: 10,565

Keywords: comedy podcast, comedy podcast Jim Florentine, jim florentine podcast, jim florentine stand up, jim florentine interview, jim florentine, Jim Florentine opie and anthony, jim florentine comedy, jim florentine stand up comedy

Id: eJo0Ex7i8Xs

Length: 56min 33sec (3393 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 17 2020