Author Fran Lebowitz on the stuff she hates, 1978: CBC Archives | CBC

now i want to semi seriously discuss with you uh wristwatches because you do this was one of my favorite pieces in this in this book not all of which i have read because as i told orson i want to say he borrowed his book that's why he didn't get a chance to read no no in fact i don't think i'll let him have this one either because there are these other treats i want to keep for myself but you discover book you can leave on the toilet you know and just you know pick it up and rate the chapter thank you but i mean my dad is a compliment i read it right did you where you wrote it that's how i wrote it to him a little bit at a time yeah right but i mean that's a wonderful place to have something to read people will read anything in the can won't they it is absolutely true you'll re-read an ad for uh for a sale from two weeks ago if that's all there is there and if you had something really good there life would be perfect right back to the digital watches if you don't mind we're quite through with that subject i'm sure you and i share share this dislike for digital watches hatred hatred it is dislike is mild you it is a genuine hatred you have yes when did it occur to you that you didn't like these and as soon as they invented them right off the top right the second they invented that mainly because it took me so long to learn had a tall time i was about 15 when i finally really grasped the concept of italian time a slower learner a very slow time learner um that i resented the fact that children now didn't have to learn how to tell time that was my main my main objection to it uh i also feel that it doesn't tell real time 10 17 is not a real time because you never have to be anywhere at 10 18. right you know you don't look at your watch and say oh my god it's 10 17 i have an appointment at 10 18. now quarter after is real time 10 30 is a real time yes but 10 17 is not a real time not real time at all unless you know i i can't think of any profession unless you drove a subway driving a subway or an air an airline or something like that no that's again a fallacy did you ever find a plane that came at 10 17. that was ready to leave see i think that i think even 1030 is too specific for airplanes i think they should say 10-ish and what about calculators you have in the same chapter a hatred hatred hatred for calculators little pocket calculators for the same reason it took me a comment amount of time to learn how to do long division you know and i resent children you see little tiny children you know dividing a hundred million zillion by 14 you know instantly giving you the answer yes um they shouldn't be able to do that no one should be able to do that let alone a child no one should be able to do that but then they wouldn't be able to be the build those airplanes properly so that they could leave tennis no they had um airplane trouble before that they built them before that too before that no i think it it instills a terrible um confidence in children you know that they can do this incredible mathematical equation and um i think eventually it might result in children taking over the world in which case all the furniture would be too small it is a really frightening observation that you make you also end your book with a stinging commentary on the news the bringers thereof and what's contained on on television and radio news although you don't my radio news too much no of all news i prefer radio news because it's the only time the disjunct is not allowed to talk yes that's that's a reasonable uh satisfaction but why don't you like television news since everybody seems to it's not just tv i don't like newspapers either it's i don't like news it's not tv news that i don't like it never tells you anything important it doesn't no i figure if something really important happened my mother would call and news is never about the things people want to know about i mean it's again my theory that people only are interested in the things really around them so that if the news was about yourself you'd be interested since that doesn't happen to me if i was jimmy carter i would love the news yes you know because it would always be about me you would like a personalized newscast as well i think every i think in all state and city lotteries the prize instead of being money of which they take 90 away for taxes they should give you walter cronkite gives you one newscast for yourself you know he says good evening paul and then he tells you what's going to happen tomorrow in your life in your life fabulous well now this you worked for andy warhol's publication i still did it still do that's sort of his theory that among him yeah no but that everybody would be a famous person or a tv star or subject of the news or whatever for 15 minutes and that's what that's true and he said everyone will in the future everyone won't be famous for 15 minutes except andy will be famous for 45 years 40. he excluded himself from this he continues to remain famous right fran if this book is largely about things that uh really tee you off what thrills you what what do you enjoy about the world as you see it smoking smoking cigarettes cigarettes cigarettes there's a whole chapter in here about well i think kind of the motif of this book is sleeping you know uh i would i agree with um with mr bean that i would love to not work you know i do not understand i would love to not work to i i do not understand people who do not know in their retirement i would know i've been training for my retirement since i was six singles i'm all ready to fill my leisure hours if i had them what happens if you fall in love and settle down and find something you want to do like having children or stuff terribly unlikely i'm not considering that as a possibility ah but is it likely to happen to her mr mr of course maybe later this evening [Laughter] [Applause]

Channel: CBC

Views: 339,948

Keywords: CBC, Retro, Paul Soles, Canada After Dark, Fran Lebowitz, Orson Bean, Metropolitan Life, comedy

Id: NEgfY-_l9mM

Length: 6min 3sec (363 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 16 2013