Hi every one Emma McAdam here, today we are
going to talk about a question I got from one of my viewers and they asked, "How do
turn off the freeze response?" So that's what we're gonna talk about today. Well, basically the
freeze response is a survival instinct stored deep in you brain. It's an automatic response
to overwhelming danger, or at least the perception of danger. So, when fighting your way out, or
running away seem impossible, the brain turns on the freeze response as a last resort. So
this isn't something conscious, this isn't something you plan, or choose. It's something
that your deep limbic brain triggers a lot faster than thinking. And it can be really
hard to break out of the freeze response. So in this video we're gonna talk about one of
the things I do in session with my clients to help them work through it. Ok so the freeze response is the third option in the flight flight freeze reaction to danger. Fight works when the threat seems beatable, like some thing smaller or less powerful than
you. Flight works when you're faster or you have an advantage to escape. And freeze kicks
in automatically when your brain decides that the threat is too large or too overwhelming
or too strong or fast or powerful to fight off or escape. And honestly, the freeze response
can be really effective. You may have seen some of these videos on youtube or in wild
life documentaries, where an animal survives because they froze, they hid, or they played
dead. Now if you've frozen up in the past, don't beat yourself up. You can just thank your brain
for keeping you safe and we can also talk about some new skills to move forward. Now
if you look at how the freeze response shows up, it can turn on in this like really big
way like freezing up in the middle of battle, or it can also turn on in really small ways. So like if your stressed about a test, you might feel a sense of dread or a sense of
of overwhelm and then you just try to avoid your homework, or hide from trying to think
about your studying. Our anciently evolved brain doesn't do a very good job with these
modern threats that we have that are really quite different than fighting off a tiger. So, things like social media comments that bother you, or studying for a test, can really
turn on that freeze response because our ancient brain doesn't necessarily know how to respond
to that in an effective way. Our anciently evolved brain might turn on
the freeze response in the case of a life threatening event, or just something like
public speaking. So here are some of the symptoms of a freeze response. Your muscles lock up,
in all or in part of your body. This is called tonic immobility, and this isn't something
that you can control your muscles literally lose the ability to move. You might feel feelings
of numbness, detachment, or dissociation. And this means that you feel like separate from
your thoughts. Now this is actually a pretty function response, because if you're in the
face of impending death or pain that you can't escape, then your brain has this ability to
kind of separate you from those sensations or from the intensity of that. But, if you're
taking a test and you start dissociating or if you're talking about trauma and you can't
even connect with the room you're in, that can actually mess up your life because it's
disconnecting you from the things that you care about. So people that feel numb or disconnected
or kind of unable to attach or feel joy with certain things in their life, that might be
a locked in freeze response. Some of the other types of symptoms of a freeze response are
feeling overwhelmed, or having fawning behaviors. So trying to appease someone who seems threatening,
or trying to make them feel good. or trying to give in to what they're asking or demanding
of you. Those can all be symptoms of a freeze response. A few more symptoms of the freeze
response are a sense of stiffness or heaviness, holding your breath, shrinking, or trying
to disappear. People often feel ashamed that they froze up in a situation, but they really shouldn't,
and that's for two reasons. Number one, it wasn't in their control to do something different
in the moment. And number two, freezing up might have saved your life. So, for more on that check
out my video the freeze response in sexual assault. Anyways the freeze response can feel
paralyzing because it seems to return when we remember traumatic events. I've had clients
sitting in my office and they're telling me about their trauma and this is what they look
like when they say, they're sitting there like, "I'm so angry, I'm so mad, this guy should
be in jail." And they're sitting in my office frozen stiff. They're not moving, they're saying I'm
so angry. They're saying I'm so angry, but what they're body is saying is I'm still powerless
I'm still in danger. And our memories are stored as much in our bodies as they are in our minds. So when we think about danger, or we think about trauma, or we watch the news about corona
virus, our brain can't tell the difference between actual dangers, and these imaginary
or perceived dangers. Things danger that we're thinking about or remembering. So it turns
on that exact same response that freeze response in our nervous system. Whether we're actually
in danger or we're just thinking about danger, our brain turns on that fight flight freeze
response. But, when we're in the fight flight freeze mode, we can't process through information. So our brain just the thinking part of our brain basically turns off. And so people get
stuck in these cycles of reliving their trauma. Ok, I thought this was going to be a short
video now I'm like talking an talking but here I go. So in order to work through these
responses that leave us trapped we can train ourselves to break out of the freeze response
in a couple of ways. So the first thing I always do with my clients is I help them reengage
the body. Because we have this cycle right your brain sends messages to your body and
your body sends messages to your brain. So we reengage the body and it sends messages
to the brain that you are actually safe and when the brain is reminded that you are actually
safe, then it has the ability to process through some more information. And we plan action in
a way that increases your overall sense of power. So you're belief in your ability to
take action in a helpful way. So the brain that caused this reaction is not the thinking
part of your brain and I'm pointing up here because this where your prefrontal cortex
is and your cortex and that's where the thinking part of your brain works, and you can't think
your way out of a freeze response. You have to go in kinda through the back door. It's
your deep survival oriented brain that's down here in the brain stem that decided to put
you into freeze. So the best way to access that part of the brain is through the body. So for that reason, I almost always start
with a body up approach to treating trauma and
anxiety. So here's what I do with my clients in session. So we start by creating movement
right they were sitting here and they were frozen and they were telling me I'm so angry. So I say ok, do this with me. I say pat your legs and I have them start moving their arms
and then I say stomp your feet. And they'll sit in their on the couch or whatever and
they'll start stomping their feet. And I get them physically moving. So when their body's
not in freeze it can send that message to their brain that I'm safe, and then I usually
have them start doing crazier things. I have them start shaking their arms out, stomping,
we do some dancing, we get a little crazy, and I actually had a therapist come in from the
office next to me who wasn't with my practice, she comes right into my session in the middle
of a session and she's like, "Is there a therapist in here what are you guys doing?" Because she
had no idea that like body work is an essential part of trauma treatment. Which is unfortunate
because she was in the EMDR trained therapist so I don't know why she didn't know that. But
anyway, I have them wave their arms I have them move around and I have them break their
body out of freeze and when I see them calm down and break out of freeze then we can go
back start to process that trauma again. Both in their body and in their mind. So when we've
convinced our brain through our body that we are actually safe, then we can do other
things like talking about the traumatic experience while staying out of freeze. Or we can practice
combating that feeling of overwhelm or we can plan some practical steps to manage certain
behaviors that week. So these are all some things that we can do, but we can't do them
when we're stuck in the freeze response. So for anyone who's stuck in the freeze response,
I encourage you to start moving your body. But not in a fear based way, in a slow and
intentional way. Right, so the other thing you can do to break out of the freeze response
is you can do some training. Because if you have a good protocol then you can override
those natural freeze habits. And I talk about this in my other video on the freeze response
and sexual assault, but this includes self defense training and did you know that one
of the most effective things people teach like if they're teaching young girls how to
avoid sexual assault, one of the most important things they teach is just how to shout no. How to say that really loud. And once you've practiced that and practiced that and practiced
that, then in the moment of danger you're able to draw upon that training and instead of
freezing up, scream no at someone and that deters an attacker a lot of the time. A few
other things that are helpful for breaking out of freeze, are identifying triggers and
identifying your signs and symptoms. So you get good at noticing, sorry I just hit my
mic, so you get good at noticing what's going on in your body when you're freezing. And when
you notice what your body does when you freeze, then you can also take proactive steps to
ground yourself here in the present moment, and speaking of grounding I have a whole series
of videos on my grounding play list on how to do grounding exercises and all of those
can help with the freeze response. Another thing that you can do that's helpful with
the freeze response is to exercise. So just any kind of physical exercise and what exercise
does is it takes your body through this natural cycle of getting excited, getting sympathetic
arousal. Which is basically your brain is turning on that excitement the adrenaline and the
flooding which is really a very similar response to that fight flight freeze response, so it
takes you through that cycle of alert activation, and then when you're done exercising you go
back down through the cycle of calming down and the rest and digest response. So it's really
healthy a healthy nervous system is able to get both activated and relaxed and exercise
can help you go through those natural cycles. Another thing you can do to help with the
freeze response is practice how you would like to respond. So if you freeze up in a meeting,
instead of speaking up for yourself, you do role plays in front of the mirror of what
you want to say. And you practice saying it with your therapist or your friend and you
practice saying it with people who are safe, and the more you practice it, eventually that
muscle memory and that habit is gonna come back to you and you're gonna get you're gonna
develop the ability to say what you wanna say to your boss or whoever it is. There's
another thing you can do to help combat the freeze response, and that's to develop the
ability to envision safety. So if our brain can bring to mind danger and it has that fight
flight freeze response in reaction to imagined or perceived danger, we can also turn on that
calming response and break out of freeze by bringing to mind the visualization of safety. So you bring to mind things going well, you remember times things worked out well and
you develop mental resources like an internal safe place and when you're feeling a little
nervous you bring that safe place to mind, and that can turn on that relaxing calming
reaction. So I've made a couple videos on this, one of them is called drawing safety and the
other one is guided imagery it's called I think it's called a safe place. And as you
do all this, you're basically developing emotional muscles. So you practice safe ways to experience
anxiety and work your way through it. So these are things like rock climbing or using the
book, Do One Thing Every Day That Scares You, and basically this is just changing your rules
around anxieties. If you have a rule that says it's not ok to feel anxious, then when you
start to feel anxious you're gonna be more likely to lock up. So, if instead you're rules
are I can feel anxious and still be ok, then you'll be more flexible with you're decision
making and you're not gonna make your anxiety worse. Now with any trauma work or anxiety
work, you're really best off working with an experienced therapist. Someone trained in trauma
work or in somatic experiencing or EMDR, may have the skills to help you. I really believe
that real growth and healing is possible, and I hope you can give yourself a little credit
today for taking the time to improve yourself by watching this video. Thank you, and also
please share this video, because statistically one in five of your friends has experienced
trauma and this might help them. So, thank you so much, take care and we'll see you next
week.
