Archie Vs Mike | All In The Family

tell you on the way down never mind that tell me on the way below [Music] [Laughter] where do you want this you don't know what you've done there huh no what's the matter put the box down would you mind opening that door a crack for me to sure there's no doorknob IA uh how are you supposed to open the door oh with the key where's the key well if you could open that door of a crack there you'd see the key sticking out of the lock on the other side [Laughter] you mean we're locked in here I think you have grabbed the situation all right all right we're just uh we just break the door down that's all you hold your shoulder into that door you're gonna have two armpits on the same side laughs oh gee I'm sorry I did that if I wasn't so mad at you I'd laugh like hell well I am not the one who left the key on the other side of the door oh I am not the one who slammed the locked the door with the key on the other side I am not the one who didn't say the door the key is on the other side I am not the one who sponged off of me for five years and didn't know nothing but the name of me said I am not the one who sits and watches Korean midgets wrestling on Channel 5 and thinks it's educational TV I am not the one that sits in front of a television set for a whole hour staring at the same Orchestra I like Symphonies if you like Symphonies you're gonna love this [Laughter] [Applause] no dumbbell all right all right let's just just relax calm down and we'll analyze our predicament I forget the predicament analyze your head hey I'm just trying to figure out what to do I will never ain't nothing to do we're stuck here Harry comes in and looks like to check tomorrow which there was a window in here you get your wish there is where it's up on the firewall there then that's it that's it you can't get out of get out of here you can't get out of there why not in the first place there ain't no catch on that window by which you open up with it in the second place that window is painted shut until the second coming okay I will break the glass third place [Applause] there's buzz on the window I ain't got three all right let's see if we can really talk this thing through now first we'll take your heart why my heart well my heart your heart it's the heart that pumps the blood right yeah that is your heart asked you who gave you the blood no it's just like the water pump in a car the water pump in a car it all should hear your tummy the human heart's like a water pump in a car the human heart is the most important the most emotional organ in your body your love and your romance is kept everybody knows that we ate machines yet sunny boy yeah but that's the point I'm trying to make Archie the heart is a machine that's why they can give you a new one nowadays when the old one packs up it's just like it's just like a car eat like a car get your voice down Archie I'm just talking about transplants oh wait a minute now if you're going to start talking about transplants you're going to make my prank for me now the first time out with them transplants they put a woman's heart in a man's body right yeah so what so it's tough enough for a woman a man live together in the same house they're mine the same body laughs hey how would you like to try this here chair because that one's mine sorry what kind of a name is Stevie where are you from oh uh Chicago I mean what's your nationality I'm an American I mean where are your people from they're from Poland [Laughter] that will make you polish then yeah anything interesting in the paper yeah 200 arrested in Vietnam day peace demonstration 200 they should have thrown a whole bunch of them in the can look at that picture there they are throwing all kinds of junk and deepers at officers of the Lord that's a great 90 American flag what the hell of them peace needs one anyhow well I think they just don't like the idea of America fighting an illegal and immoral War well if they don't like it they can lump it take it down the road and dump it you're saying America love it or leave it that's right it's a free country show Lamb's great well that would include me too Mr bunker and toodly you to you too well well what would our leaving solve I mean with or without protesters this country would still have the same problems what problems what was the war the racial problem the economic problem the pollution problem come on if you want a nitpick nitpick let me tell you something Mr Punker no let me tell you something Mr stivic you are a meathead and meet him dead from the neck up oh geez look at this Rip Van music I can never depend on you for the heart hold what are you doing here you're putting your pants on over your pajamas it's all right it'll be cold on the boat I don't have any Gloria Gloria ain't here she's downstairs she's sitting in a chair down there she's all right how do you know she told me what'd she say she said I'm all right about her last night she wouldn't talk to me it was like there was a pane of glass between us do you know that we don't catch that fishing boat they ain't gonna be no deep sea fishing we'll have to stay on the dock with the old people here hold it hold it hold it what are you doing here why what about the other foot to make no shock on it I'll get to it don't you know that the whole world puts on a sock and a sock and a shoe [Applause] I like to take care of one foot at a time that's the dumbest thing I ever heard it's quick my way wait a minute that ain't the prank to see what I don't don't keep doing it foreign [Laughter] your way with a sock on each foot my feet would get wet my way with a sock and a shoe on one foot I could hop around and stay dry foreign [Applause] I think you've been hopping around on your head wait a minute listen to me [Music] the Frozen the other socks got a hole in it doesn't have a hallway I said supposed [Music] you ain't got another matching pair so what are you gonna do your way you got to take Oklahoma soonersack my way all you got to do is take off one side all right if I'll make you happy I'll start all over again start doing it the right way tomorrow morning and do it that way for the rest of your life stop my daughter and look who's she now she told me she was in love with the guy how to welcome him with open arms you mean yelling mouth that's all you ever do is yell at the poor guy everybody knows how you treat the guy that ain't sure I treat him almost like a son thank you Dad don't mentioning me too see there you go already you bad math just let me hear you tell him you love me God tell him [Laughter] [Applause] love is never having to say it right Dad [Laughter] [Music] what are you doing that I'm eating I can see that you're doing it wrong what are you talking about you almost finished your piece there and you ain't even started that other what do you call zucchini yeah whatever I was gonna eat the zucchini after I finished the piece then when you're gonna get to the turkey after zucchini that's dumb can't you eat like a normal person what's normal you're supposed to eat a little bit of Peace then a little bit of the cuisini there zucchini whatever and you take a little bit of turkey there you see that so you get a good mixture there that's what you call a balanced meal Arch you've been watching me for six years six years how come you never mentioned this before because you're eating slow tonight before your fork was always a blow hahaha don't keep doing what I tell you is wrong there I'm trying to teach you something about your system there listen listen to me you're supposed to eat a little of the priest then a little Cuisine there then a little turkey so then you get that even makes going down see and go to all parts of your body even at the same time the way you meet there or lump it is over here everything goes to different parts in different ways see [Applause] I don't know well maybe you maybe your lung could get all of the piece could all rush to a foot the choice I don't know maybe the Tokyo go to your heart there's too much meat in here huh if you get what you call a colonial trombones no I never thought of that I'm telling you that's why your most perfect food is your sandwich and especially your hero sandwich see because everything you got in there you got in there your Meats is there your cheese is there your Tomatoes sauces in there delicious bread on the top delicious bread on the bottom you take a bite of that and everything is all nice and mixed up there and it goes down oh [Laughter] thank you I gotta have a sandwich meat

Channel: All In The Family

Views: 106,237

Keywords: 70s, 80s, all in the family, archiebunker, carroll o'connor, classic tv, edithbunker, family drama, gloriastivic, jean stapleton, laughtrack, mikestivic, norman lear, norman lear effect, norman lear show, rob reiner, sally struthers, throwback tv, tv sitcom, compilation, iconic scene

Id: UQLe5dSTW2s

Length: 15min 14sec (914 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 24 2023