- [Interviewer] All right, Shonda. - [Shonda] Yes. - [Interviewer] Where'd you grow up? Where are you from originally? - I'm originally from Cincinnati Ohio. I grew up on weekends down
here in Leslie County. I moved back down here in '98. - [Interviewer] Tell me
about your childhood, you had both your parents growing up? - Yeah, I had both my parents growing up. As I was growing up it was pretty bad. Not really much bad. We lived downtown
Cincinnati on Elder street. My dad took me to school and
picked me up from school. Me and my brother was about
the only white children in the classroom. - [Interviewer] Is that right? - I don't know if I can say that or not? Sorry. - [Interviewer] The truth is the truth. - It was really not much of a childhood. I didn't have friends
of nothing to play with. - [Interviewer] Because you
were white were you excluded? - Well, yeah that and
I started busing tables at Ghost Star Chili in
Cincinnati with my mom. - [Interviewer] How far
did you go in school? - I went to the 10th grade. - [Interviewer] 10th grade. Then you started working in a restaurant? - I was working at age 12 with my mother and then at 14 when I was
allowed to get the permit and then at 16 I worked at a
lot of restaurants up there in Clifton and I worked at
White Castle in Covington. I worked at a strip club in Covington and in Newport Kentucky. - [Interviewer] How was working
at a strip club for you? - It's enjoyable. It was different than a restaurant. - [Interviewer] I'm sure it was. Was the money good for you? - Yes, the money was good. I moved back down here in '98 with my mom and my kids and stuff. She had two aneurysms ruptured
and she wasn't fully equipped to take care of herself. She died of lung cancer in 2002. - [Interviewer] I'm sorry. - My sister was just eight. My oldest was nine and
my youngest was seven. - [Interviewer] Did
you raise your younger? - I was wild when I moved back down here. When my mom passed away I had to wake up. I was in and out of jail,
pretty much still am. I'm sorry. - [Interviewer] That's your past. - Down here, if you are
on medication, don't drive because they will give
you a DUI no matter what. - [Interviewer] What kind of
medications have you been on? - I've been on pain medication
where I was taking seizures. I was on some Klonopin. Had to take my medication
every time I drove. It's like the state police of some county would get me (laughs) every time. I just quit driving and start walking. - [Interviewer] You started
having children of your own at what age? - I was 18 when I had my oldest
and 21 when I had my second. - [Interviewer] You have two kids? - Yes. - [Interviewer] Were you married? - I've been married twice. My second husband, we're not divorced but he's dying of cancer up north somewhere. I don't talk to him, we don't get along. - [Interviewer] This is
one of the poorest parts of the country. - Yes. - [Interviewer] Did you grow up very poor? - Yeah. I didn't need much when I
was growing up or nothing but as I got older and stuff like that, this place right here, you
have to travel to work. In order to travel you got to
have money to have a vehicle and money for gas and
stuff to be transportation. - [Interviewer] How do you
support yourself today? - I draw SSI. - [Interviewer] You do. How old are you? - Huh? - [Interviewer] How old are you? - I'm 48. - [Interviewer] 48. Looking back at your
life, do you have regrets? - I regret it all. I regret coming back here
because I don't know. I've got an older brother
lives in Cincinnati that I don't even get to
spend time with his children. I quit talking to him the day
we put my mom in the ground. I don't talk to him. - [Interviewer] Are drugs
a part of your life? - Drugs have been a part
of my life all my life. - [Interviewer] Ever
since the pain killers? - Yeah. I got in a bad relationship. I got scars and stuff on
my face where he hit me. My left ear is damaged where he kicked me, I'm hard of hearing. Yes, drugs have been a lot in my life. So far right now it's just
been marijuana right now. - [Interviewer] Have you
traveled around the country? - No. - [Interviewer] You've not
been outside of Cincinnati and Kentucky? - No. I would love to. - [Interviewer] Did you have
dreams when you were young of a different life? - I had a lot of dreams but the main dream I wanted, I wanted to be able
to have a white picket fence house and my children and my grand babies. I wanted a husband that
didn't cheat (laughs). - [Interviewer] Do you
find it hard to survive? Hard to make ends meet here? - [Shonda] Yes. It's very hard. - [Interviewer] It's hard
for everyone it seems. - [Shonda] There's no
money flowing nowhere. You can't make nothing. - [Interviewer] How much do
you think you live on a year? - Huh? - [Interviewer] How much
do you live on a year? - [Shonda] Less than $10,000. - [Interviewer] You're
raising your kids too? What was the best time in your life? - [Shonda] What was the best time? It's pretty weird. My mom was pregnant, she didn't know it, with my little sister and I
was pregnant at the same time. We worked at the same place, Kroger's, in Hyde Park in Cincinnati. My mom was my best friend. She was my whole rock,
my whole everything. We went to tanning beds together
and we ate out together. When I stayed together
we had the girls with us, all three of them, my
two and my little sister. It was always my mother. - [Interviewer] Are you religious? - No. - [Interviewer] No. A lot of people out here are. - Yeah. - [Interviewer] Would you
describe yourself as happy? - Huh? - [Interviewer] Would you
describe yourself as happy? - Yeah. I'm happy. My sister's getting really to have a baby and she's due (indistinct) but I think she's gonna
wait until the day. It's already weighted eight pounds so it's gonna come out a walking probably. That's her second baby. I'm happy my grandchildren are with me. I've got five. I've got three more that
live in Jackson county with my daughter and her husband. I got to see them last
night, they're a handful. There's one that I don't get to see, that's not part of happiness. He's happy, that's all that matters to me. - [Interviewer] Why do you say? - My youngest grandson, their
little brother, he's happy so that's all that matters. - [Interviewer] What emotions
do you have to deal with most in your life? Do you get depressed or anxious or angry? - I get depressed a lot. Most of the time on
bills when (indistinct). Not again. It's not even been 31 days, but
some months it's pretty bad. - [Interviewer] What's been
the worst time of your life? - Huh? - [Interviewer] What's been
the hardest time of your life? The most difficult thing
you've gone through? Losing your mom? - I'm still struggling with it
because I talked to my father a few hours before he passed away. I was supposed to see him the next morning and I want answers, I wanna know why. It's so quick. He's been sick a long time and
he just didn't tell nobody. He wanted to be the macho man
to take care of everything and he did. He don't want no one to
touch his lawn mower, he did it on his own. I still wonder why? - [Interviewer] Why what? - Why did it take him so quick? - [Interviewer] How old was
your father when he passed? - He had cancer but he never
went to the cancer doctor. He never went and got treatment. He just let it live up on him
and I guess it took the toll. He had a bad heart. - [Interviewer] Some people
out here just don't believe in going to doctors. - Huh? - [Interviewer] Some people
out here just don't believe in going to doctors? - Yeah. I haven't been in over a year. I've had a stroke and the
high blood pressure medicine that the doctor give me
is what caused my stroke. The dog. That is what caused it. I've not been but I need to go back. My plans are to go back to the doctor. - [Interviewer] What's
the most important lesson you've learned in your life? - Don't take from others. Respect and family. Family means a lot. - [Interviewer] What do you
see for the future of your kids growing up here in the deep Appalachians? - Right now I see nothing. If they don't get this
pandemic thing going and getting the kids back in school where they can learn. When they're at home they
think they can just play, they're home. They think everything's
supposed to be like when they're out of school. I have a time with them too
and try to get on their work. I don't see nothing. To me it's like a walking dead. That's how I feel. We're all just gonna be
like the walking dead. No sense in burying us
because we're gonna come back. I don't know. - [Interviewer] All right Shonda. Thank you so much for talking with me and good luck with your
kids and everything else going on in your life. - [Shonda] I thank you. - [Interviewer] Thank you.
