Analysing Paris in 'This is Paris'

hello in this video i'm going to talk about paris hilton and her documentary if you haven't seen it i really recommend watching it i wonder if making this documentary is a way of becoming a more relatable person and whether paris thought that actually it might be really good for her brand to do this after the metoo movement people are used to celebrities speaking out about abuse so maybe paris felt that showing there was a deeper side to her and speaking out would make her more relevant but nevertheless there were times in this film where she came across to me as really genuine and i found them moving this is where it all began the simple life started in 2003 and it was a series about her and nicole richie going and staying with a family who lived in the countryside they just seemed really ignorant to the point where they didn't even know what walmart was apparently um and this was how the public got to know her so they didn't know who she really was they thought she was this really spoiled brat who was rich and really fun in her own rich bubble and that was who they fell in love with and so all of these years later she's been keeping that image up and that's what people seem so attracted to maybe it's a kind of escapism for everyone you know that they get to watch her and just imagine this completely different world that she lives in but it's not really who she is that's what she tells us in this documentary she says a few times that this really isn't who she actually is when she talks about her childhood three things stand out to me here's the first my great-grandfather and my grandfather created an insane empire of hotels and growing up that was a lot to live up to it was hard to just like totally be myself here's the second good morning mom stars turn around show me what you got look at dad cause i was his first baby my dad always was filming everything so i just remember always having a camera around and here's the third my mom just wanted my sister and i to be like these little princesses i went to catholic school for most of my childhood my mom always taught me to be very proper private and to always portray that everything's perfect so there was a combination of her not feeling like she could be herself there always being a camera in her face and her mother expecting that she should behave as if everything was fine so if you put all of that together then you might come up with someone who's going to become a good actress you know because that's what she needs to be paris was more a tomboy are you going on the golf course paris she has this persona that she's this sexy you know bombshell but she really is like a boy at heart that looks good wearing your shorts dad so why would a tomboy want to dress up in all of these dresses give me a nice face paris came over and i always would do her makeup i think there was probably too much focus when she was little on how beautiful she was honestly so even though she didn't have a natural interest in pretty dresses when she was a kid it seems like she's learnt that there's a value to beauty that beauty gets her a lot of attention my grandmother saw something in me action oh my god grace kelly or is that paris hilton could be better than any of them and from what she says i don't think it was just attention i think it was also that she felt a duty to be who her grandmother wanted her to be my grandmother always called me grace kelly marilyn monroe and i always wanted to live up to that for her and and it seems that that's how she's behaved in general towards the public she's talked a lot in this documentary about being who people want her to be and so she's had all of this attention just unbelievable amounts of attention from people and it's all been based on a character she's been playing the documentary shows her having a conversation with her sister and both of them being sad about the fact that paris is alone she says she feels lonely her sister asks if she's ever going to be with anyone if she's ever going to have kids and um and paris says but the main thing is making money because the schedule's too busy i haven't been on a vacation and of course you're greedy and you won't turn down and check i just i love making money i will not stop until i make a billion dollars so as she was born into all of this money why would it be so important to make such a huge fortune as the documentary goes on we realize there's a lot more to paris and there's a lot more to why it is she's so driven to keep appearing in all the newspapers in social media and so on because really what she does is she travels around the world pretty much non-stop wearing different clothes for different companies um you know and different brands so that they can show their brand off to the world on paris hilton she's just like a kind of moving clothes peg and then she's um she's all over social media and so that helps her to sell to sell her own product but why does she do it so incessantly why doesn't she ever give herself a break why does she have to have this billion dollars i was gonna do everything in my power to be so successful that my parents could never control me again i don't know when you get everything taken away you're just like you're just i don't know i just i don't i appreciate everything and i want everything what was taken away from her before my mom had us go to etiquette classes so we basically were taught how to be debutants she's already talked about how her mum wanted her to be a hilton and she wanted to be paris so she just wanted to be herself so it seems like there were all these restrictions on her from a really early age about who she was supposed to be no dating no makeup know this know that everyone had late curfews no you had to be home early no no no no and then finally she was just like and she rebelled against them she wanted to be herself she stopped listening to what her parents asked of her and she started going out at night a lot she said she'd go out clubbing when this was when she was still at school and so she'd miss classes and stuff and she'd go out at night and she said this was when she felt herself she said she felt like she was in control of the room and there was all this love there so there was where she found all this attention and um and where she felt she belonged her mum didn't know what to do and this is what she says i locked her in the room i was afraid she could run into a predator get kidnapped fear to me is the most powerful feeling there is paris also felt her mum was afraid but not for those reasons i feel like my parents were scared and they didn't want their reputations to be ruined because page six was writing all these stories she was sent away to camps for difficult teenagers and she ran away from all of them the first time she ran away the people that ran the camp found her and then beat her up in front of the other children i imagine that she would have felt like finally she was going against their wishes going out clubbing and really being herself and she was really punished for it they didn't want to know they wanted her banished you know they wanted her as far away as possible because she was an embarrassment so i think that already would have had a big impact on her i think the reason it got like this that she was out of control was because of all the control they needed in the first place because she was supposed to be this good catholic girl and not herself and i think when you're a kid if you lose this trust in your parents you can just never regain it and that can affect how you trust other people as well because she already would have had this um belief that she couldn't be herself so that already would have affected her trust in her parents if she felt like she was supposed to be being someone else but then on top of this there wasn't the trust anymore that she could be safe she could see the consequences when she was herself she could see just how conditional the love was or or that's how it would have felt i imagine you know for her when she said please don't do this to me anymore after she'd been beaten up there in front of the other kids publicly degraded and humiliated and physically assaulted and her parents still didn't listen so she lost more trust in them and i don't know that she would ever have been able to get that trust back especially not because of what happened next in the middle of the night one night two men appeared in her bedroom and picked her up and carried her out while she was screaming and this was how this new boarding school worked this was how they got the kids to go to the boarding school they just kidnapped them in the middle of the night and her parents watched while she was taken out apparently her mum was crying and then she started at this boarding school you're sitting on a chair staring at a wall all day long getting yelled at or hit i felt like a lot of the people who work there got off on torturing children and seeing them naked solitary confinement like something out of one flew over the cuckoo's nest they'd make people take their clothes off and go in there like for 20 hours felt like i was going crazy she says that she still regularly has nightmares about it and that it's given her a lot of anxiety and trust issues in the documentary we see some other girls who went through the same thing as her at the school so they knew each other before and they all got together to break the code of silence you know to stand up and talk about this school and let people know paris seems to blame the school for everything she says she's close to her mom and so on so it seems that they have been made into the enemy in her mind and i'm sure that they have good reason to be the enemy in her mind you know but at the same time i think that she may not have actually processed her feelings about her parents she would say things to me after like i still have nightmares i i still in the middle of my night i feel like you know she would say that and i always take what people say with a grain of salt like i think yeah it did bother her but it was it was our way of saving you mom and dad always loved like hiding things for everything they're the king and queen of sweeping everything under the rug we see paris telling her mother very briefly about how she and these other women were abused as children in the boarding school and she talks about what they're doing to try to bring awareness to it we know that by this point the mum was aware that she'd been in solitary confinement because somebody from the film crew told her and it doesn't seem she thought it necessary to talk about this to paris because paris says this is the first time she's brought it up with her mum so would her mum really be this surprised to hear what paris told her for a moment it looks like she's crying but there aren't any tears looking at paris's expression i wonder if she's getting ready for her mom to be defensive it looks a bit defiant to me or is it that she's feeling angry my personal feeling is that this is the most intense moment of the whole documentary and that everything really is about these feelings in paris everything that's happened to her all of the ways in which she's behaved as a result and even what happened at the school it all comes from the feelings she has towards her mother because even her rebelling it seems came from those had i known this and you know that dad and i would have been there in one second she doesn't look convinced to me she looks obedient she looks like she's become a little girl again and and that might be the impact her mother has on her but when she's around her she feels like a child again she's already said that her mum treats her like she's 12 years old and that she perpetually feels like she is fab age her mom doesn't apologize if she'd confronted her mother and said but would you really have picked me up in a second because you watched them carry me out you watched how terrifying that was and you didn't do anything so how do i know you would have done that and if she'd said one of the film crew told me that she already told you about the solitary confinement and yet you didn't come to me you didn't say anything so how can i believe you now i imagine that right now when she was feeling so vulnerable telling her mum what had happened and when so much rested on how her mom was going to react maybe the anger in her would have been too big to confront her mum with and it was easier to just go along with what her mom said and maybe she wants to believe it i think she does and it's hard to tell from this footage whether this affects her and if it does how much it affects her paris first boyfriend published sex tapes and this wasn't something that paris ever gave her permission for him to do but he did it anyway and so she felt really betrayed and absolutely devastated by it and she talks about that in the documentary i just wonder how much concern her mum felt for paris and how much was just about her own reputation new york daily news the new york post was on everyone's front door down the hall hall so on days where it was a cover story i would run down the hall first and flip every newspaper over so they didn't have to see it i didn't want to like get up and take the kids to school you know face other people it does seem understandable that paris had the impression she was sent away so as not to ruin their reputations i was in better light [Music] if that's true that her mum was just concerned about how she came across and not really about how she was actually feeling then that would have had a huge impact on how paris felt and who she felt she needed to be and so i think that even though paris makes all this about the school and the documentary is mainly about the abuse at the school and that this was the turning point in her life it looks like there was more going on beneath the surface for a long time before that she would have felt like she was supposed to play this role ever since she was a little girl it was hard to just like totally be myself when she tried to be herself she wasn't loved anymore i think that's how it would have felt to her because she was sent away while the other sister was treated differently she was somebody who ended up having a family you know and being quite conservative she always looks conservatively dressed throughout the video and quite a different kind of person sorry i'm a little late but are you mad at me yes sorry it's rude i don't know i apologize it seems that her sister is somebody who was um on the parent side you know like paris was the scapegoat did you talk to her about things did you i told on her with everything i would listen on the phone she was the one who carried the family shame paris didn't come to the breakfast table and my parents were like smiling like everything's fine and we didn't ask any questions and then i think they said she like went to boarding school because they were always trying to protect us and shield us and so she had to be rejected and and this is what can often happen in a family where one of the parents at least is a narcissist that um that someone is the scapegoat and and the family can feel good about themselves because they project everything onto this person and this person is made to feel like the bad person did you ever get like nervous that that would happen to you because if they didn't really explain it to you on why she was going away did you ever feel like she was very naughty what she was have you ever said sorry to mom and dad no even now as an adult all these years later she's saying that paris should apologize when actually her parents sent her somewhere where she was abused and traumatized everything they hate about themselves gets projected onto the scapegoated person i think in this case paris's mom wanted a really pure well-behaved daughter and so i wonder if there's something in herself that she rejects that isn't pure enough i look at my mom and dad they've been together since my mom was 15. mom was 19 when she had me this is the point at which paris starts to cry she quickly covers it up with laughter but we can see she is crying they said she like went to boarding school they were always trying to protect us and shield us but is that surprising when she's hearing how her mother was really protective towards her sister and brothers and yet it would have felt like she was the opposite with paris putting her straight into a dangerous situation did you ever get like nervous that that would happen to you triangulation is where somebody uses another person or other people the mother could say well if if your sister does this well why can't you do it well you know everything's fine with her what's wrong with you so whether or not this was ever said in the family that's what ended up happening you know where one daughter was treated very differently the other daughter would have felt even worse about herself is this really a genuinely close relationship or is paris having to not deal with a lot of feelings in order to be close with her sister there's no one in the world that knows her better than me it seems that despite what the sister thinks she doesn't really know paris all that well paris is addicted to drama she still seems to see her through the eyes of her parents oh no no no no no no no no go i i'm not leaving my sunglasses i can't you were going to a [ __ ] animal bath i know i need them there's always some form of dramedy i don't think she is being a drama queen it seems to me at least in this example that paris needs everything to be just right she needs these different props in order to feel okay and that this is something about her own insecurities and her need to feel safe to be somebody else in order to feel safe and if she doesn't have everything just right then it brings up all this anxiety so i think that that's very different to being a drama queen and to being the person her sister is seeing her as they agreed to have her kidnapped i mean how terrifying would that be at any age but especially if you're a kid to suddenly have these two men come and take you away in the middle of the night the mother had these ideas for her that weren't really about her daughter just being herself and it was all about her own image that's my impression so she's responsible for that as well and all of that will have had a huge impact on her daughter and on the way that her life has turned out to be she works all the time she never ever has a break you know and she's been doing this obsessively fanatically for all of these years to try to feel free to try to feel free from her parents grip and to feel like she's enough so she's alone i don't really know many genuine people besides like my fans like paulina and alex like when they talk to me it's like not even like my real friends would say that but can they care for you can they care for me what do you mean is that enough no people love her for who she isn't and yet she's been putting all of her time and energy into this career you know this social media life she says she's on social media 14 hours a day and all of this has come from what she experienced in her childhood but it seems like no one's dealing with that like her mum isn't actually feeling that responsibility and like paris hasn't really confronted her with it my parents were in new york they didn't know but i was so angry and so upset i just i hated them i never spoke to my family about it i think all my anger just went into my drive for success it made me strong but when i think about it gives me anxiety when people are abused there's always going to be anger somewhere so if you're not taking it out on other people you're going to be taking it out on yourself and it seems like she's pretty relentless with herself so tiring i'm just literally my my mind is going through what the upcoming months are and it's non-stop and she also accepts abuse from other people i've been in a lot of relationships where people they just get so controlling and get so angry that they become physical how many like five five guys we just got in an argument i was trying to leave his house and he just got really mad i think a lot of people who watch this channel who have experienced abuse will relate to paris because she says something that i've heard so many people say who watch this channel i like animals more than people she's being somebody for other people all the time and she doesn't trust people so she's alone and she's just playing this role and getting by and she's doing everything by herself you know and i think a lot of people who've been abused will be people pleasers and and essentially that's what she's being there's there's a big narcissistic element to it as well because she's got this mask that gets her lots of attention and that's how she survives you know she gets narcissistic supply from this mask and i'm not saying that she is a narcissist but she has narcissistic traits in my opinion you know but i think a lot of survivors of abuse do have narcissistic traits you know and so she's um she's going through life just pleasing everyone being who she thinks everyone wants her to be in order to feel good about herself when i look around my life like it's like a cartoon i don't know like i've created this fantasy world cartoon and um but actually she's she's got no one but the thing is i don't even give a [ __ ] about any of these things i've hardly worn any of these shoes i love just chilling in like my sweatsuit my socks being at home and then all this other stuff is just part of the character it reminds me a bit of the wizard of oz you know but the person who was behind everything this this wizard that everyone um looked up to and who was really revered and feared and admired and so on and then one day you realize it's just a little man behind this big machine and and it's the same thing now with paris we're seeing the true vulnerable genuine person under there who's just somebody who likes to wear her jogging bottoms and and a t-shirt and watch tv you know she's not the person everyone has been thinking she is she's just somebody who needed love she's somebody who was really hurting whose trust had been broken and who who badly needed love and everything she created to try to achieve that was an illusion that many millions maybe even a billion people or more have bought into and and they've started to live similarly you know there's at least some part of what paris is doing in i'd say most people's lives now and the amount of time now that we all spend on social media as well that's really changed and i think she's a massive reason for that reality tv has taken off and i think again she's a big part of that she helped kim kardashian to know how to come across in front of people so so you know she's had this massive uh impact on the world sometimes i feel like so many things but sometimes like this robot and this character that i did like i started remembering who i was before the whole reality behind that was just somebody trying to escape their abusive past but i don't know i'm just so confused by going into this fantasy world and i think how well she's done is down to her being really intelligent and talented but i think it's also down to this really strong motivation to heal and that was the way she went about it to try to escape i think a lot of people who've experienced abuse can relate to this this running away you know trying to build a life without relying on anyone else not really trusting people and so not really having intimate relationships not real ones and always just running and running and maybe beating yourself up over and over again for the kind of person you think you're supposed to be but it all comes down to feeling like you weren't enough and that's why everything happened when really you only feel like that because it happened and it wasn't your fault and paris being honest about it was a relief to watch you know it felt like a relief for me even though i'm not her you know but just um just watching somebody just remove this mask that was completely taking over their life and just becoming human was just amazing i think a lot of people who've experienced abuse can come across as themselves it's not as extreme as it is with paris so they can still talk in their regular voice and be themselves in most ways but whether they realize it or not they're very often still catering to what everyone wants around them you know and and being who they think they're supposed to be playing by rules they think they're supposed to be following you know and letting the people lead who they think they need to give the upper hand to and so paris isn't really doing anything differently it's just a bit more obvious with her it's a bit more exaggerated you should live free and i'm not talking about like free to like walk around without people watching you i'm talking about free in your mind and in your heart from things that have happened in your life one day i've said in previous videos how we go towards what's familiar that's the way our brain works our brain believes that what we've already done was a good idea because we're still alive so it goes towards those things that are similar to the things we've experienced before and so as a result it's going to be really hard to change so for paris she knows how to be she knows what works and now she's being honest and opening up and i think she wants to be seen differently i think she wants to make herself a more relatable person but from what she says she's not known yet so she doesn't have relationships in a real way yet is she going to be able to carry on like this or is she just going to fall back into the same pattern i really hope that this relationship is a real one and that things are about to change for paris and i really admire her for speaking out for real you know for having the guts to be who she really is and to tell people that all this time she hasn't been doing that you know that she's been whoever people want her to be so i'm gonna leave it here if you haven't subscribed please subscribe and i'll see you in the next video

Channel: Live Abuse Free

Views: 104,281

Rating: 4.9173894 out of 5

Keywords: Paris Hilton, this is Paris, narcissistic abuse, recovery from abuse, triangulation, boarding school, provo, healing from abuse, bpd, npd, narcissist, abusive relationship, narcissistic mother

Id: nv3M7XA5TlM

Length: 34min 33sec (2073 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 03 2020