Anaconda - Good Bad or Bad Bad #23

[Music] [Music] from your face hello and welcome to the 23rd episode of good bad or bad bad the show where we watch terrible movies and tell you if you should - I am your host Brian she'll go I've joined as always the one the only Kyle [ __ ] Fonz Oh this episode we watched and they're gonna talk about a classic film of late 90s cinema classic piece of late 90s cinema in the kunda anaconda I somehow missed watching this movie and it's entirely I've seen bits and pieces I think I feel like you missed out cuz it did because this came out right in my wheelhouse of when I loved movies like this like The Mummy is like my favorite movie of all time and it came out right out a couple years after this one of those late nineties cheesy action fun movies now this one is not good spoiler is not a good movie I think I'm going to make to just reinstate this throughout this review this is a major motion picture this is which is astonishing this I should have looked up the budget this is forty-five million dollars but most of that with the pay in the cast because the cast is pretty fantastic but because it's it's watching it it's so like this is the worse than a sci-fi original like those mid-90s sci-fi rich to be fair all of its sequels are my originals let's let's set out this cast first cuz man they got themselves a hell of a cast oh yeah jail jail Oh Jennifer Lopez in the peak of her power is the lead she's the director of nature a documentary director her big chance to break it this transform the rake Eric Stoltz not Martina Marty McFly as I called him as I watched the whole movie that first decision was to go with Eric Stoltz we shot for five weeks with Eric he was totally professional but there was just something missing I don't remember I'm trying to think what else I've seen Eric Stoltz in and I don't it's alright if you don't remember seeing him in this movie yeah not many people do know he's like never in the movie it's fantastic ice cube ice cube is he was my favorite part of the movie and he yeah he's in it Owen Wilson he's in this movie Jon Voight Oh John voice incredible and he say Ice Cube was my favorite part of the movie that's just because it's so obvious that the best part of this movie is Jon Voight being an insane person yes that yes so Jon Voight and then another trio Danny Trejo makes an appearance in the very beginning for 30 seconds and then Jon know Jonathan Hyde Jonathan Hyde or as i lovingly refer to him as the Egyptologists we're Cadbury or or Robin Williams's dad yeah not a postal worker are you so yeah so the cast is incredible but the movie is hot garbage with yes absolutely zero date it's there's not even I refuse to believe somebody wrote a script that is this movie cuz it's not even things just kind of happen like the premise is let's go on an expedition to find this tribe john Voight's here snakes everybody dies like that yeah that's not literally there's no it's [ __ ] stupid I found myself gone like this is dumb and you know another thing I noticed about it that I don't often even pay attention to a lot of times in movies but it was so obvious by how much it was lacking not a single character in this movie has anything remotely resembling a character arc not even the slight not anybody I mean maybe Ice Cube Ice Cube and Jonathan Hyde and do it their relations yeah yeah Jonathan Hyde a little bit cuz he's kind of like a pretentious dick in the dick bag in the beginning but then he kind of like you know saves it and then he teaches Ice Cube how to drive a riverboat Chris the playoffs in a six-pack 18 holes of golf and a quadruple Jen time le traffic and was cellular like our main character Jennifer Lopez has no nope and she doesn't even get she does not if she's our main character spoilers she doesn't even kill the snake in the end no I did so stupid she kills one of them she does she does shoot the one the first one that's right I forgot about that but like the big moment at the end like I'll just Nick [ __ ] an ice cube all right fine so it starts with an opening little scroll about Anika Maya this is so done which is all false every bit of an information in that thing I'm like 99% sure if this if you were basing any of like the beginning of this just sets precedent for the entire film yes because nothing about the snake that they have on there it's just remotely true not even a little bit they're like the most fearsome predator on the planet well it's a big snake and they're cool but like no there's like way better predators than the Anaconda - there's a little thing that said there's a thing Isis they're so [ __ ] ruthless they'll they'll puke up there krei just so they can eat it again false no they don't do that I mean they do regurgitate their food but when States do that it's not so they can like eat it again and watch it suffer again so they can get away yeah so they can run away from [ __ ] like that's why that's why they [ __ ] up they don't do it to be like haha now I get to eat you again and watch you suck snakes come on movie okay fine Oh tagline for this film if you can't breathe you can't scream that's true that's a true sentence you can't breathe you cannot scream that's what helped us no no no at all no I love it's like there's nothing better so the movie gets going after that opening crawl about anacondas and how crazy and awful they are the thing cuts the credits opening credits I'm like oh there's nothing that gets me more ant for a movie than five minutes of slow panning shots of water just the camera panning side-to-side over the top of water I'm like it's not even anything going on just water water water oh look some leaves water and then Danny Trejo then we meet Danny Trejo who is in like a little hut in the Amazon on the river yeah or something like this it looks like he's trapping monkeys yeah it looks like a trapper yeah we know he's a poacher and we know he's a he's a poacher just right into this with John Boyd and Matteo is that picture in the very I think that's with with Matteo John is and it is but I don't think we see that picture until later no later but the that's what Danny Trejo is doing yes yeah yeah yeah yeah but we don't originally we don't initially know that John Boy I was working with so he gonna figure that out Danny true by the way Danny Trejo his his speaking English is about four octants like lower than him speaking oh yeah cuz he calls for yeah but like like his voice is so much higher in Spanish than an English as our this much it it gets right into it with this with the nonsense when the snake starts knocking the floorboard the nails [Laughter] [Music] I knew what we're all about what we were getting ourselves into already so then he they're like you know what what should we do right away let's just rip off jaws immediately I mean that and it's a rip off jaws but he climbs the mast of the mast or whatever the antenna this thing and it's hanging there with his gun and he shoots himself movie begins so then we meet our our team our ragtag crew we meet JLo and all of them at their hotel in the Amazon as they prepare for their expedition hotel yeah as they prepare for their exposition to go find a this cursor up some sriracha try a sriracha no I care he remember what they're called they're licious and spicy yeah they're trying to find some hidden tribe the [ __ ] is shaman tribe basically it making documentary about it and so they're getting ready to get out of my way and JLo looking elegant as always that's just my feeling and then we meet Ice Cube and I love this he says today's a good day just exclaims it you know well today's a good day and I'm like yeah cuz you're ice cube every day is a good day it's like to be ice cube yeah and then Matteo we meet Matteo who is the driver the boat captain and I I wanted to call him like Peruvian Jesus or something like that yeah he that character I was like I don't know I mean I knew roughly where the movie is going but I was like I would not be remotely surprised if this movie ended with him just raping and murdering everybody on the boat cuz he's the creepiest looking dude and he's like he's got this weird look on his face all time and it can come to find out it's because he's in cahoots with John Boy and he's playing scheming and whatnot but he just looks so [ __ ] off-putting all the time in the beginning of the movie as you say Jesse ow I think they paid him way under happen like they had such a small cast and they paid him way under yeah he's just like alright and then Owen Wilson and his girlfriend who we didn't talk about cuz I've never seen her I don't think I've ever seen her in anything the his girlfriend sound this movie kind of buried her yeah [Music] yeah I was like what is she and she was not very good there's a couple deliveries later on there you snake you brought the devil so they get on their way to get out they everybody's on the boat they set up all the supplies that boat is real dope I like the boat it's like this big flat they got like a big party patio in the back and the movie starts is really weird why it's like the whole first like ten minutes is like montage of them going down the river it's like well that one it kicks off that music and it's like it's like the production company spent thirty dollars and bought like the worst like adventure free free to play no royalty music they could find and slapped it in as they set out on their journey but this film is there's only three films that they had to credit the rest of this is scored oh really yeah well that's I mean that song that is scored well yeah I don't know whatever that song like not not the new popular music right when they first started on the boat and there's like a couple shots of them leaving there's like this weird like really like terrible indiana jones cheesy ripoff music that's like but it's so bad it's like that's not good and then they uh but then every scene for like the first three scenes starts with them listening to loud music like I said yeah down the river I'm like why is everything you gonna do sweet party Barb's I got going on it's the 90s man they do they only do for most of the beginning the movies just drink on this boat you listen to music Ice Cube listened his own rap music that's great so is so if I skew if they're listening to ice cube in a movie where Ice Cube is an actor is so Ice Cube exists in this universe but it's not ice cube that's confusing [Music] and then Owen Wilson super morning this is just me or does the jungle make you really really warning because the jungle makes us in horny Wow we should go far away I'm hornier than a road lizard or whatever the [ __ ] he says he's crazy as a road lizard so then there's this random cut cuz he says to her this is really weird he goes I'm really horny you know there's in the jungle make you horny and she goes can you just let me work and then it hard cuts lightning strike I'm like lightning strikes and I'm like what was that you just not we're not done with that scene we are done with that scene alright fine were just moving on no bees it's just bad damn kill you look like a little low budget as Jacques Cousteau did so then no storm hits and this is when they meet John Wayne because oh boy so John Boyd is stranded on his boat stranded and they couple over and he throws his [ __ ] on the boat yes oh I was like that if I if a guy left at me like that I would be like oh this guy's a killer and this is when we let's let's let's just discuss it now cuz uh Jon Voight accent right here where are you from anyway really studying for the priesthood I needed to see the real world he's from Paraguay mm-hmm he sounds to me now let's see you this is how I described it when I was watching it sounds like when I get drunk and try to do an imitation Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride that is what that's what Jon Voight sounds like in this movie watching a silly go is what what you're hunting he sounds insane they're gonna be a whose religion like like like what in the like somebody the casting director must have been either dead or yeah I would have something somebody in this if you want them to be some South American like poacher yeah and you know who would have been good for that Danny Trejo Danny Trejo yeah what why did they kill him off in the beginning what [ __ ] so many options but they go with Jon Voight and it's like what I don't okay fine okay so john-boy is snake hunter he used to be a priest and used to be a priest he's always saying like the yeah okay no he's like leading people do their death yeah so he's there hunting snakes and then somebody says isn't that poaching watching it's illegal no no no poaching is illegal yeah yeah but what you did sound a lot like poaching like and then he doesn't he doesn't address nothing about that's a dress no no well you're hunting we're not hunting or trapping anything we're making a documentary on them shirishama Indians with Jonathan Hyde is the host of this show right yeah he's like the Eric Stults is the archaeologist or or probably not our key uh are ya I guess our key whoever the people who study cultures yeah culture ology so it's like we need to take this River Eric saucily know it's dangerous [ __ ] let's take this way so then we there's an also seen real quick where they like we're JLo and Eric Stoltz are into each other and I'm like for reason for reasons and it was like oh I missed you I'm like oh you're not gonna explain any okay fine they're just into each other and I'm like the false JLo was not and Eric Stoltz look at that man I mean he's not awful but I'm surprised she's Jay he doesn't burst into flames in the Sun yeah because when they later get hit he does and that's why they disturb a room the whole movie the surprise Eric Stoltz is not even in this [ __ ] yeah yeah say it's like the Rope gets tangled in there and then oh by the way okay this happened earlier and I just have to I just have to make a point of this when you have characters who are smoking cigarettes and they're carrying around oxygen tanks for skubick yes and oxygen oh yeah cool so he puts on the scuba gear and starts cutting it out and then he like looks like he's getting attacked by something yeah I was so confused like what's happening is there demons did he use voodoo but unlike what they pull him out and take off his breathing mask you're the [ __ ] huge ass wash oh yes his throat a wasp was so a wasp got it somehow hmm got in this [ __ ] respirator and stuck him in the throat I will say I was I was pretty psyched about jumbly shrieking yeah I was like whoa mergency tri-coat [ __ ] he grabs a knife right in the next thing and he goes he'll be fine now and now no no no I know and now they do at least make a point of it cuz they right before they drink amigo oh it's deadlies deadly wasp wasp deadly poisonous venom whatever you know this is deadly and then they trach him he goes he'll be fine I'm like what about all the poison or what uh you know that he's fine but now they do kind of make a point he's kind of like in a coma ish in the that's why he's thatin the rest of the movie he's bunk in a button coma so as far as getting paid for this I think Eric Stoltz came out on top yeah did like the least amount of work yeah I always wondered I also wonder too if it was like the same situation as Back to the Future where they started shooting with them and they're like this guy's [ __ ] by a wasp and your comatose get in that bed like it's amazing how the [ __ ] did they get that buggy hell how do they get that walks in the mask and he's down there for that one before it doesn't he doesn't notice it yeah so Jon Voight put it in their spoiler layer is to sabotage him and then he's like so now I gotta get him to the hospital so might as well yeah and the quickest way to the hospital is that route I was talking about the other day it's way faster cut back Terry save us fifty Mars this is the week you suggested we take yesterday and then so that's what they decided to go take him to the hospital there's like snake statues everywhere so you can tell there's you know shits gonna hit ya yeah and then they they run into a big barrier a big gate like a big yeah a big what's the solution blow that [ __ ] up man blow that [ __ ] up John Boyd has a bunch of dynamite well let's just see what we can do hey is that real dynamite so yeah they blow up this big thing man this is work [ __ ] ton of dynamite yeah him and Owen Wilson get they get him they jump in the river and they go to uh scrap some bombs on this [ __ ] and I thought this like Owen Wilson's down there and they they put it on and then he's like oh there's something down here he starts climb up and then jon voigt like looks at him and it's like yeah that's right no seriously there's somebody down there because yeah and then the scene ends I'm like what yeah this film is great on the line deliveries oh we also missed there there's the sweet scene and not miss but uh there's the sweet scene right angles before this yeah it's right for us where they parked for the night and oh and Wilson and his lady go to go to the boat don't God Lord like we're gonna go get some nature sounds and then they go out and then they come they're gonna start like [ __ ] in the jungle and then that you oh they're gonna get attacked with you know Conda and then Jon Voight shows up with a gun Oh God great now he's a shoots AB or AB or was and he is dragging this boar with effortless yeah effort likes that thing probably weighs a couple hundred pounds and he's like well I don't think words are very indigenous to that area yeah they might be but John Boyd's face in this movie is the best is the best thing there's a shot where when they're leaving the go bone it cuts to Jon Voight and a hammock and he's just like he looks dead what the [ __ ] is going on what is that why was that shot in the movie is he supposed to look like menacing he looks dead oh no they got the they got the tusks and they go after your eyes and I'm like Gore's with his tusks goes for the ice that's what they do I was like really disagree there you read you got you're saying I feel like Lee he wrote the job Boyd's character wrote the little antic on of thing at the beginning of this movie I know that snake I know so much about snakes T data's fearsome I do I do good River movies uh wait for it deliverance oh yeah after this I don't even know when this is but it's it's like the it's again [ __ ] can wait staring at people there's a shot of j.lo is like sitting on the boat and she's like messing with her hair and then she looks up just so much and Jon Voight is just [Music] what stationary staring at her doesn't really like and I really feel like there's a lot I like to imagine John Boyd stayed in character in between takes you and we're sitting the whole Daniel day-lewis just sitting in the corner like John you want you know you want some sandwiches we get through yeah that's the boats moving through they come across I was it was it their old boat John Boyd's in my toes old boat that they had with Danny Trejo yes probably yeah they may go the duel okay yeah when the bomb goes off they did not prepare for properly oh yeah all the all the fuel tanks go off and even though it's a river in the Amazon and probably only about five feet deep at most yeah probably not and also for some reason the barrels don't float yeah they would no design for them yeah they would float there's air in them but they lose their fuel okay I was like yeah they were so close to the bomb that dick sucking blows the [ __ ] I did snakes come flying out of everywhere it's raining snakes and right before that jon voight eating an orange in the creepiest way that anybody has ever eaten an orange this is a river you know no this is no she's like because Godfather is it more savoury than that this is a river you know no I can't get over everything John Boyd doesn't moving so they come across this boat looking for fuel and John Boyd finds was it a net net or he finds you find some snake hunting oh yeah something from trapping equipment or something and so he and IceCube are pulling it go ahead and they're saying telling my way to get back thankfully we were I was waiting for bodies to start dropping in this movie yeah let's say it was like the first person to get owned yeah he is yeah cuz yeah your keep thinking something's gonna die and it takes quite a while for somebody to actually I mean and he just he gets literally his neck broken by a snake [Applause] it's pretty great it's pretty great and then but because it was was this the first time we saw the prosthetic snake it's the first time we saw the CG snake yeah cuz the first time we see the rubber snake is with the [ __ ] panther or whatever I will get more comments about whether it's a panther or Jaguar whatever but there's like a quick shot of a very obviously stuffed Jaguar being strangled to death by a very obviously rubber snake like they like to stuffed Panther Jaguar whatever point in shooting where they like this looks like [ __ ] garbage I have been like this is awful like this is like they took a rubber snake wrapped it around a stuffed Panther and are shaking it in front of the camera and they're like yeah that's great again major motion yes major motion it's like yeah that looks great looks real good rain snakes the [ __ ] Egyptologist is sitting there and gets bit on the thought oh my god yeah but he doesn't realize the snake was on his hand and till it bites him he's like sitting there and he's like ah oh it's biting my thumb young I guess I'll leave them so they wait for they think Montoya's they think he's gonna come back ya might say is gonna come out that's where they find the picture where they are all yeah they they wait the night yeah and of course he's not a snake yeah this is when John Boyd takes control like even more so yeah and we're we're we're gonna go we're gonna go he's dead yeah by something like this has made a meal captain what snakes don't eat people oh don't don't make me out of monster I didn't eat the captain isn't that night that he like courses hello and yeah he says course is Owen Wilson with the promise of money and more money yeah so they they have a mutiny and take control the boat yeah he basically he's like he and this is a thing where it's like character development movie he said you all you have to do to make own Wilson deciding to like be on his side work is make one little offhand mention of how Owen Wilson is like owes somebody a lot of money or is really in debt or it really really needs a big payout cuz he says like you know I mean and then like oh it makes a little more sense it almost ins like yeah we should listen to this guy because he wants in on that snake money but there's no setup for that he's just like oh do whatever you say john-boy you gave me some wine yeah yeah they take over the boat yeah and they get to the point where they're trying to trap the snake and I'm just trying to get through this as quickly as possible because this is where it gets [ __ ] amazing yeah stupid they they trap it with the John Boy kills a monkey yeah he shoots it yeah it says and I can debate and they put it on a book yeah a [ __ ] finish it's like and the way they're doing it it's like they're bass-fishing they're they're doing like a sinker and just drag like drawing and what's the best way to what's the best way to trap these snakes it's blind double that's a thing that's a thing I also love there's so many times where Ice Cube is just the audience he I'm convinced that they did not give ice cube lines they just put him on the boat and said react to things that go on because there's so many times where he saw where they handed him to the complete script yeah and he was like this is not this is stupid cuz there's one point he's other thing he's like when did this [ __ ] go from getting there Eric Stoltz in the hospitals are trying to catch a snake yo hold up how we go from taking care to the hospital to catching a goddamn snake what the [ __ ] is going on what the [ __ ] is going on all the time like yeah he's cute I also want to know what the [ __ ] is going on I know what I'm gonna do I'm about to throw both of y'all son of [ __ ] in the river myself snake pukes a monkey on the egyptologist just throw a wet stop bunkie and Egyptologist faith [Music] yeah and people are needing to get back Owen Wilson's give interest gets thrown into the river no no that's way later this week oh she gets started into the river you're right and he jumps in there and he gets her in and then Owen Wilson gets wrapped up and eaten by this snake it's bit in the face Wow I'm just gonna vote Wow [Music] the only thing that you think the only thing I get here in my own head at entire time it doesn't exist it's going to after I do it but it's that I can't believe it that edit doesn't exist I'm Owen Wilson going by the camera and just like a muffled Wilson got a lucky like halfway through the movie he got the piece out be like I see you guys I'm gonna go hang out and make a movie about Cowboys and kung foo [ __ ] you guys my name is Charlie John Wayne jeongwu that's a terrible cowboy name get this is where they yeah this is the part where they they need to take back control the ship yeah so JLo goes to see - oh God oh god this is the worst thing that's ever been put on film is JLo seducing Sean for you it would have all been for nothing JLo seducing not bad JLo's envoy sorry yeah very bad thing ever nope nope nope like watching Neil breathe finger somebody I don't need this in my life the worst thing ever and then she also I love she has a slide she goes I don't know if you know that this this film was supposed to be my big break [Music] sure am i that's the understatement of the century like two of your crew have been eaten alive but it that is the most honest act yeah this whole supposed to be my big break but I will say this is Jonathan Hyde's moment to shine yeah IceCube comes in and he like points a gun in but Jonathan Hyde bashes his skull in cuz he's been golfing this whole time I love he goes yes yes you should you should absolutely hit him again when he gets to yell ass hole in one they tie up Jonathan boy or Jon Voight on this pole like sitting on the ground with his arms tied behind his back and he's just he's milk in the face work he can't move so it's just the face work his face earns of the Paycheck earn earned to the paycheck he got for this movie like is it is working overtime they run a ground after a while yeah they are by their they're in like kind of like a little goon ish yeah like a waterfall so they they they messed up another need to get out so they're getting some ropes together to undo this like winch themselves out let's go let's go swimming in the snake-infested waters yeah the guys it's just last time I was in walking like this I was up all night picking bleaches up my screws I'm like how big is your scrotum all night there's like a couple pull them off yeah we're so they go in the water and they start trying to think that and whether or not take long no do not take long for that snake to show up no well in but more importantly first jon voight uh so what's her name is on the boat still yeah her name's Owen Wilson's woman yeah she angry and she real mad exactly you see real man it's a boy she blames him for Owen Wilson died uh and so she comes at him with a knife even though there's a rifle on the boat yeah she could just shoot him but she comes at him with a knife and this is [ __ ] insanity dumb boy got some acrobatic skills leaps up like four five six feet in the air and wraps his meaty thighs around her neck chokes her to death with this [Music] I want everybody to know this about john-boy that man has got muscular thighs and there's this very I love there you hear splash and everybody out in the water turns around like ya know like yeah let's all just ignore that body sized splashing noise back by the boat I'm sure that's not important as okay so the snakes coming yeah and I scream and yell get on the boat Jonathan Hyde is like trying to get the snakes attention I'm like you're not near shore don't do that no he's like yeah come get me I'm like you're just in the middle you're gonna get eaten by a snake okay fine that's a bad idea so then he starts running goes to climbs this waterfall which his death is glorious so he gets up on the waterfall and then they get back to the boat I think and realized that jon voight killing killed her and Oh any cuz he gets a knife from her and yeah cuts himself free he stabs I skewing the leg yeah right in the [ __ ] block right in the leg so then Jon and then hide the snake comes after him and I pallidus and he jumps out of the waterfall it try to escape [Music] [Music] and apparently this is enough weight to bring down the tree yeah yeah on the boat and then and then JLo shoots the snake in the face yeah yeah this cuz the six now that the guy is dead you know the snakes after food yeah it's not that's the other thing this movies all [ __ ] cuz once the snake eats they're good for like a month yeah or months depending on how big of it yeah but just keeps eating people okay so she's [ __ ] shoots it in the face and his brain explodes but obviously there's another snake yeah yeah the movies not over there's 20 minutes left and then so John Boyd there's the big he's thrown out yeah big struggle over the gun and stuff and Erich soll comes out apparently the tree crashing on their boat oh c'mon Eric Schultz in day six of shooting yeah finally gets to be back in the movie again shows up with a tranq Dart and hits him in the back seat because in that in that case of snake hunting stuff they had rep title title a visor [Music] still no Mattel and he gets jon voight in the bet in the neck with it and john-boy like passes out and falls into the water and then they go oh no but the dart fell out it's like but it already got him he already is unconscious yeah that's what the the blur in the action yeah like so it doesn't matter if the dark fell out he already got hit with the tranq he's gonna drown like that's what should have happened in that moment so there they get now severely bleeding Eric Stults yeah and they're leaving and as they leave because the tree knocked him loose as they leave the shot is literally a it's literally a reverse shot of them beaching themselves the waterfalls going up I think I think the tree might even still be up there like yugioh tree that fell over that's so stupid somebody didn't check their shot list Yeah right like we got everything yeah we got everything what's this one - have fun cares they leave no you were just not sure we didn't need to you don't need that shot it's unnecessary whoo it's so much worse to put a shot in once a [ __ ] waterfall going up in the background than it is to just leave that shot out we get that they're leaving so they get to this old lumber mill to get fuel which of course there's a shitload of fuel there why'd ya because this place has been in disarray for only a couple of decades there's a shot just real quick there's a shot where right when they're setting when they're getting into this place that's just a spinny shot of like either water or sky for like eight seconds I'm like what do I even look this is sometimes they just do like a 90s man so unsettling [Music] so then john-boy shows back up they get in there like oh sweet yeah and then he ties them up and then I didn't I didn't know that anacondas hunted me a blunt they're real into monkey blood so guess who gets a monkey bloodbath our two protagonists I have to wake up so he's using them as bait yes the snake yeah he has a bitching crossbow yeah Jerry Frank Daryl Dixon's got nothing on you know it was a little [ __ ] made cross though it's a tiny little tranquil yeah but it's got tricks on it man you don't want to track a zombie the point there under a net like they have this huge net setup yes anaconda yes Zoe the Anaconda gets their wrap up and then john-boy like in bitching like and they're like stuck in the net with the Anaconda yeah hilarious the other kind of gets out and goes after John it yes but as old as he leaves Ice Cube like kicks the system to bring up the net is like the shot that we can see but it's very clearly obvious that he could just go oh no net around it he's like no he gets the steak wrapped around him and some of the greatest faces I've ever seen a movie God whatever this turned into prosthetic jon voight that was fun yeah and his head's all like it's like snapped in eight pieces and then swallowed by the snake [Music] and then the snake of course it's a vicious killer it's got to keep going though just so that instead of going after the clearly wounded ice cubes yeah after jail oh yes as it breaks through a window or every cursed estates Jon Voight the best thing we get see we get a late 90s CDI Jon Voight well I'm in and then it turns in a really crazy gross makeup slimy Jon Voight yeah yeah blinks and then he'd know he wink when we entered a blinker we I'm pretty sure he winks at her like what I know what for one thing the [ __ ] snake broke his back like eight times like he smelled like strangles of [ __ ] out him but it like lands on her as she's running Ice Cube picks up and hits a pickaxe yeah yeah and something straight out of [ __ ] Looney Tunes he puts the pickaxe into the snakes tail so this whole time now we're getting right in like oh we got a we're gonna cuz like JLo's climbing this silo or the like smokestack to get out the top and and and I keep waiting so I'm like we're getting to it it's building up it's building up and I'm like oh we're gonna get a [ __ ] amazing one-liner from ice cube like he's gonna say something great it's gonna save the movie send us all out on a good note and then some [ __ ] happens the snake catches fire falls out who the thing on fire flapping through the air which is kind of great and lands in the water and they're like woo and I was like no one liner well the snake doesn't go completely in the water it has to stay up and burn a lot burned a lot for a minute and then goes in the water and you're like oh it's over we didn't get one liner and then because that's what you got to do snake [ __ ] pops its head through the boards and like goes after JLo I don't yeah still chance for a one-liner [ __ ] Ice Cube grabs an axe slams an axe into its head kills it and that's it and says [ __ ] [Music] let's uh let's go ahead and redo ice cubes one liner looks like you got a splitting headache [ __ ] better or something oh you and the only cold-blooded killer oh that's the winner scratch it write it done I'm Ice Cube then we get some National Geographic boobies movies over who cuz they find the Tri fire the drives and even though I guess they have a camera it's still somehow that yeah [ __ ] where they go into that boat and and and what's his name like ice cubes like I ought to get this on camera and the girls like he want any audio and he's like nah and he says something but I couldn't understand what he said he'd get this on food that's not voided man this movie uh let's get to the verdict it's good bad oh yeah that's good bad bad man it's a real good good bad movie it's a terrible movie but man is Jon Voight is it's he's watching him play this character his overacting is on powered Nicholas Cage it's mind-blowing I was blown away by how [ __ ] insane he was in this movie I thought I had a note about him than I didn't even get to it's movies great it's great bad it's good bad go movie Jeff snakes Colin Wilson Wow got john-boy oh no it does in the snake enough shots of Janos but come on it's like the most famous ass in the world at the time you're not gonna ever ever wear anything where you see it come on get it together movie come on movie producer right I'm just saying so until next time keep watching movies especially anaconda or anything with Owen Wilson [Music] [Music] you [Music] well it's Matteo he's crazier than a road lizard this takes really bright on the inside well it's nice Sun Wow it's like a condom for me well I can't we didn't check each Anna anton bauer if you're alive I know you are I know you're out there somewhere definitely watching go [ __ ] yourself your batteries suck ass I did we know how much their batteries suck because we use them constantly throughout film school oh is that what they kept they kept they kept dying in the belts were heavier she remember cuz I remember he has that one scene where he's got the big belt of batteries on his shoulder and I was like we had those are using those those those batteries are terrible anyways that's me

Channel: Good Bad or Bad Bad

Views: 63,689

Keywords: Good Bad or Bad Bad, gborbb, Good Bad, b movies, bad movie review, hilariously bad, red letter media, yourmoviesucks, good bad movies, goodbadorbadbad, Anaconda, anaconda 1997, owen wilson, gb or bb, best of the worst, nostalgia critic, yms, hilariocity, jennifer lopez, jon voight, Ice Cube, crazy jon voight, giant snake movie, bad movie accents, bad accent, monkey blood, hdtgm, how did this get made anaconda, mst3k

Id: KP2BueH_upY

Length: 54min 23sec (3263 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 17 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/wpnw]

The backwards waterfall is my favorite part.

[u/The_Phantom_Fap]

I remember watching a video years ago about the movie Gladiator. The director thought a particular shot of Russell Crowe worked better in reverse.

The visual effects team worked to make the rain flow in the proper direction and a few other things.

In Anaconda, somebody just played a shot in reverse. Somebody I'm sure said, "Hey that waterfall is going the wrong way."

In a meeting someone else said, "Who fucking cares?"

[u/tphantom1]

maybe two or three years ago, I was at a restaurant with my parents. the Jennifer Lopez movie Selena was playing on one of the TVs.

at some point, someone working at the restaurant must have changed the channel, and I happen to glance over and wonder why Jennifer Lopez as Selena is fighting a giant snake. then, I remember that Anaconda came out at roughly the same time!