♪ ♪ ♪
>> Stephen: OH, HEY, EVERYBODY! <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M SO
HAPPY FOR YOU, BECAUSE YOU KNOW MY GUESTS TONIGHT AS TWO BELOVED
COMEDY LEGENDS AND ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR SINGERS TODAY. THEY ARE TEAMING UP TO SOLVE A
MURDER IN THEIR NEW SERIES, "ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING." >> OLIVER? >> I'M IN HERE! >> HEY, WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU OKAY? >> THE KILLER POISONED MY DOG. >> WHAT? >> MY SON HAS HER HELP HE'S A
VET. SHE RECOVERED, THANK GOD. BUT, CLEARLY, WE ARE GETTING
CLOSER. THEY'RE SENDING A MESSAGE TO THE
LEADER. >> IS THE LEADER YOU? >> DID THEY POISON YOUR DOG? THEY LEFT THIS. >> "I'M THE PODCASTER." >> WHAT IF WINNIE HAD DIED? IT WOULD BE ME AGAIN AND MY
STUPID... DAMN VISIONARY AMBITIONS. >> OKAY, WHOEVER POISONED WINNIE
CLEARLY KILLED TIM, SO WHO DID THIS? >> GATHER AROUND, I'M GOING TO
RORD THIS. SO, I KNOW THIS SEEMS
IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S BANANAS, BUT I THINK
THERE'S A VERY STRONG CHANCE THAT THE PERSON WHO POISONED
WINNIE WAS-- AND THIS GIVES ME NO PLEASURE IN SAYING THIS--
MUSIC SUPER STAR STING. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> THE GUY FROM U2? >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO
"THE LATE SHOW," STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, AND SELENA GOMEZ! ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: HELLO. >> STEPHEN! <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).</i> ♪ ♪ ♪
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH! <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: STANDING OVATION. <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: SO NICE TO HAVE YOU ON. STEVE, ALWAYS GOOD TO SEE YOU. MARTY, LOVELY TO SEE YOU AGAIN. SELENA, NICE TO MEET YOU. THANKS FOR BEING ON. IT'S THE FIRST TIME WE'VE HAD A
CHANCE TO DAWK. >> IT IS. I'M SO EXCITED. A BIG FAN. >> YOU LOOK FANTASTIC, BY THE
WAY. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. >> YOU HAVE THAT-- THAT --
>> Stephen: THANK YOU. >> THAT THIRD COVID SHOT BLOW. THE BOOSTER GLOW THEY CALL IT. >> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. >> AND THIS IS RIGHT OUT OF THE
FREE PARKING GUY FROM MONOPOLY, WHICH I LIKE. >> Stephen: UNCHGEM PENNYBAGS. >> SORRY, YOU'LL GET TO SPEAK IN
A MINUTE. I HAVE A THEOR ABOUT YOUR
MUSTACHE. WHICH IS YOUR HAIR APPEARS VERY
DARK AND STARTS TO GET GRAY AND COMES OUT REALLY GRAY. AND I'M ASSUMING THAT YOUR BODY
HAIR JUST GETS GRAYER AND GRAYER. >> Stephen: FROM THE NECK
DOWN, I'M ANDERSON COOPER. >> NO, YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD. >> Stephen: THANK YOU, SO DO
YOU. >> YOU LOOK LIKE-- YOU LOOK LIKE
A MATURE BOB SAGET, AND I ALWAYS WANTED YOU TO LOOK THAT WAY. >> Stephen: THANK YOU QUITE A
MUCH. THAT'S QUITE A COMPLIMENT. >> WE CAN CUT THAT, AND THAT. >> THIS WAS MY LIFE EVERY DAY
FOR FIVE MONTHS. >> Stephen: THE NEW SHOW "ONLY
MURDERS IN THE BUILDING" IS GETTING GREAT REVIEWS. CONGRATULATIONS ON THAT. >> THANK YOU<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: FIRST OF ALL, HOW HAVE YOU ENJOYED THE RESPONSE? >> PERSONALLY, I'M--
>> FANTASTIC. >> I MEAN, I THINK THEY'RE-- I
DON'T KNOW. I WAS SHOCKED. >> YOU WERE SHOCKED? >> Stephen: SHOCKED PEOPLE
ENJOYED YOUR SHOW. >> YOU THOUGHT PEOPLE WOULD HATE
US? >> A LITTLE BIT. >> YOU ALWAYS LOVE GETTING A
GOOD RESPONSE TO THE SHOW. AND MARTY GOT THE REVIEW OF HIS
LIFETIME IN THE "NEW YORK TIMES," AND WHEN I READ IT, I
WAS SO PROUD. AND ALSO SHOCKED. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
BECAUSE I WAS THERE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> I WENT INTO YOUR TRAILER AFTER YOU HAD READ IT AND YOU
WERE BREATHING IN THAT BAG. I REMEMBER THAT. >> Stephen: STEVE, BESIDES
BEING ONE OF THE STARS, YOU ALSO CREATED "ONLY MURDERS IN THE
BUILDING." HOW DID THIS IDEA COME ABOUT? >> I COCREATED IT WITH A GREAT
WRITER NAMED JOHN HOFFMAN, AND WE HAVE SOME AGREEMENT WRITERS
ON THE SHOW. >> Stephen: THEY'RE NOT HERE
SO I'M GOING TO GIVE ALL THE CREDITS TO YOU. >> YOU NEED A LONGER SOFA. I JUST HAD THIS THOUGHT OVER 10
YEARS AGO. AND IT WAS FOR THREE OLDER GUYS
WHO LIVE IN A BUILDING IN NEW YORK WHO REALIZE THEY HAVE A
COMMON INTEREST IN SOLVING CRIME. BUT BECAUSE THEY'RE OLD, THEY
DON'T WANT TO GO OUTSIDE THE BUILDING BECAUSE IT'S TOO
TIRING. SO THEY DECIDE THEY'LL JUST DO
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
SO-- AND THEN, YOU KNOW, I JUST KEPT THIS IDEA IN MY HEAD FOR 10
YEARS. AND THEN I WAS EXPLAINING IT TO
MARTY ONE DAY, AND HE SAID, "YOU KNOW, WE'RE OLD." <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
AND THEN SELENA CAME ALONG, SOMEBODY'S BRILLIANT IDEA. >> IT'S AN AMAZING SHOW. IT'S VERY MUCH LIKE STEVE AT THE
URINAL IN THAT IT STREAMS FOR-- IT STREAMS FOR 35 MINUTES, YOU
KNOW <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. >> Stephen: 10 TIMES A SEASON. >> 10 TIMES A SEASON. >> Stephen: WERE YOU FAMILIAR
WITH THESE GUYS' WORK BEFORE-- DID YOU KNOW WHO ED GRIMLY WAS,
FOR INSTANCE? >> NO. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> YEAH, BUT I, OBVIOUSLY, KNEW
"FATHER OF THE BRIDE," "THREE AMIGOS," "DIRTY ROTTEN
SCOUNDRELS." <i> ( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> WHEN WE MET IN THE HALLWAY,
SHE CAME UP TO ME AND SAID, "I'M SO HONORED TO MEET YOU, ANGELA
LANSBURY. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS YOUR
FIRST IMPRESSION OF SELENA, MARTY? >> I MET HER IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR
THE FIRST DAY WE SHOT. AND I WAS RIGHT AWAY STRUCK BY
THIS BEAUTIFUL, ENGAGING, AND RIGHT AWAY CHARMING PERSON. >> Stephen: REALLY? >> IT WAS A-- IT WAS A VERY EASY
SHOOT THAT WAY. BECAUSE WE ALL-- I THINK THE
THREE OF US LIKE TO WORK IN GREAT EAVES, AND SHE WENT RIGHT
ALONG. I DIDN'T KNOW HER. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE. >> I KNOW. I'M GLAD I'M NOT. >> NO, NO. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
QUICK BREAK, BUT STICK AROUND. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE
STEVE MARTIN, MARTIN SHORT, AND SELENA GOMEZ, EVERYBODY. <i> ( APPLAUSE ).</i> ♪ ♪ ♪
Selena Gomez > Chevy Chase.
Thankfully they addressed Steven's lip right off the bat because I really was wondering what was going on there.
Part 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQLnpn4pHmY
Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqyAYHGyErk
This was hilarious! Loved all the little jabs!
I’m surprised Selena has never been on Colbert’s show before