An Evening with Stephen Colbert at PaleyFest LA

[Music] let's just start you ready you're an amazing crowd I'm so glad that you're here I know Stephen feels the same way let's welcome the incomparable Stephen Colbert everybody Stephen thank you very much hey what's happens like yeah thanks everybody oh my goodness this is so classy this is impressive I don't care for these chairs I don't these are very moderate very dick cavett though that's chairs yeah little dick ask your grandparents you have a very nice man he's still a very nice man yeah nice to see you so nice to see you it's always a pleasure I was a good feeling when I see you because you're one of the best guests to have on because we're always have something to say you you always have not even material you always have a story to tell and you're a joy to listen to you're a vacation oh I can start drinking early that's dope that's very funny I first of all I really appreciate that and obviously everybody here is a tremendous fan I am also a tremendous fan I told this to Chris your producer well in the side stage last time I did your show I go I always save my best stuff for Stephen cuz you're a wonderful improviser and you're present and you're locked in just like you're being right now and that is what makes it great it's like awkward to call it out sure when you're on it you're like yeah feeling sexy vibes like you don't do that best thing to do in the middle of an improv scene is go you're improvising really what Wow yes Andy I really don't like my hair my hair they don't turn they're very they want to break them in or something they're like Doctor Who chairs you need their black marriage hairs is that to live there's your photo PaleyFest these these chairs are built for someone with a much younger but yeah my this is good it's good it's good these are not for our we can't make it past the chairs people so I understand you're on the Paleo diet that's what this is all about yes how's that working out it's good it's good french fries yep and tacos all the things the caveman had if he if he could don't you think a caveman we need french fries that's my whole thing about the Paleo diet which is what this festival is all about is that if a caveman knew you were foregoing a croissant because you were trying to mimic him he'd kill you with a sharpened seashell right and take your croissant and take your Grizz on and oh this is better than anything I did in all my long 20 years but he'd have no teeth age 20 they don't floss we don't know we don't know do you floss you look like a fly sir do you want an honest answer yeah and how honest you want me to be tonight how honest was likely to be tonight that sounds like a seven I do I do not floss yeah until the the night yeah is there a dental hygienist in the house my wife who flosses every day who was I've been lying to her for 30 years big oh I don't mean to I'm known to be a good Christian and floss Jesus wants you to floss you know that right loaves and fishes give me egami gets there in there yeah got to get in there yeah I'm turned water into Listerine ones yes we're gonna make a lot of Jesus jokes just for us yes to people it's gonna be heavily heavily religious childhoods right yeah we did I was different you were Catholic and you were different and I was Catholic and you're going to hell what wasn't what was your extraction evangelical torrontés that's kind of broad though fairly I mean broaden who we believe is going to hell is that what you mean right specifically no I love listening to Christian radio why because occasionally I like oh yeah I enjoy that yeah I remember that story the Bible and then sometimes I like hearing that I'm gonna go to hell because I'm a Catholic I enjoy it sometimes just for old times sake I just gets cuz I grew up in South Carolina and I heard a fair amount then yeah yeah did that fuel you like it did mean that feeling like that you want to please the church you want to please God and then you sort of want to take that to the streets and please audiences no no I want to please my mom I want to please my mom Rios that's where I was really getting the religion from I wasn't getting it me too I wasn't really getting it from you know father hopwood or uh father waters that's what you called your dad bread ii old father Hopwood yes your dad pop would know my mom was the more religious one in my family too they're equally really this they were equally religious my father was sort of an intellectual Catholic he read a lot of French Christian philosophy humanist philosophy Jacques maritime liam bois and my mother was a little more a little more mystical maybe yeah a little more or didn't you say something I'm sorry keep going no no I'm all done what oh no no I don't want to talk about my mother and your go ahead this is about your mother no boy I suppose the question did your mother said something beautiful that I actually [Applause] this is Patrick Patrick brought us of charities here thank you and Carrie Carrie Carrie what kind of an accent is that that's nice actor studio yeah can we talk to Stephen Colbert hello well that's well let's talk about your mother and then we could we could talk about how you would love to talk about my well your mother correct yeah you will because I'm parent 100% correct you she said something very beautiful about how does it play out in the scope of eternity yes you should say like if you're particularly anxious about something or you feel you'd made some terrible mistake or there was some crisis in your life right now she would say well I mean look at it in the light of eternity what how would God see this moment you know try not to focus so much on what's happening right now I have to imagine in the pressure cooker the lovely beautiful showbiz pressure cooker that is late night you want you kind of want the pressure cooker but there have to be times that you zoom out and go okay the props not ready or the guest is whatever not great you do do that can you zoom out not as often as I should sometimes my mother you should always say oh just go to the balcony she would say very really mad about something go up there and watch what's happening from up there don't do that metaphorically that's how I do that I actually have a balcony my theater I could do that literally if I wanted but it liked it I liked it it continues I'm gonna give that house-elf a sock when this is over and let her free I'm gonna set you free Davi what he said you're gonna give her a sock or a sock Oh a sock I thought you meant a sock are you familiar with the Harry Potter series of instructional videos have you not will you not allowed to read them as a child because of your Christian upbringing because of the witchcraft how dare you think I'm 19 years old you as well thank you moisturize floss really but really that's why that's the seat that's why my face feels like a catcher's mitt Simon no you look great thank you well oh no I just let it go let it go just let it go what's his comedy say comedy says leave the cap on the floor right my mother would say leave the cap on the floor your mom would be looking at the cap from the balcony she would be saying let the waiter get the cap fancy yeah don't don't pick up you pick up you drop a fork don't pick it up again that's the funnier choice like a toddler these are the questions you came to hear ass I do want to know what techniques cuz as I'm watching that amazing reel and you've had so many amazing moments it's incredible what you've done in late night what do you do when you don't feel it and I'm not saying that to make myself feel it yeah the audience makes you feel it yeah I mean hopefully if the audience is there and present and excited they're always excited to be there but if they share their energy with you then the audience is like a magic carpet ride I'll go I can't be sick onstage like I'm never sick onstage yeah I can be in a terror terrible physical shape and it were like literally physically ill or at the end of a long run of the show and I go out and if the audience is there I feel perfectly fine yeah you know I feel cured in that moment yeah I I was I was actually when I was yet when I was younger and had you know a bit of a dirty squirrel cage up in my brain a lot of anxiety a lot of like sort of core crippling anxiety when I was younger and like where I would be backstage just curled in a ball waiting for this moment to be over I was so anxious yeah and I would hear my cue or I go onstage and I feel perfectly fine with every stage Oh Dean would all go away I guess because it's I think I I think as much as I want to do the show for the audience I actually want their company I mean in ways what we do is a host of the show is that we're giving the audience our company like you're established from the community right and and that's why it's sort of like the host of the show establishes what the community is that night that's what the party you're throwing is yeah and I need the audience so much I want I want that was what we want to be not alone that's what we want to not be alone right and so I love the company of the audience and I try to show it to them and respect that from them and I always feel better once I keep that in mind that I'm out there we're out there to keep each other company tonight and and staying present to feel it because they're giving it to you right it would be reactive to it - no - no exactly I do have a few things I'm not going to tell you what they are in case you ever come to the show but I do a few things every night always in the same order to know what the audience is like whether they're looking at me whether they're one person talking to me they're right I'm so with you as a stand-up and as somebody that does TV things occasionally there's a test my last HBO special this isn't about me there's a moment where you just hi welcome to an evening about crashing being cancelled I'm just kidding there's a test where you go out and you're trying to prove I'm here are you here is that right yes this is acting right because you're trying to the better performers that I know aren't doing comedy at the audience they're trying to make a show happen with the audience but that's that's a feeling that you have yeah you want to know how closely are these the audience listening to what you're saying and how much energy you have to give to them so that connection is made right and like two or three things that I do rep for the show that maybe nobody would notice but me but I I know from the audience's reaction whether they're actually present yeah and then then and then I know how much I can play and how much right because because if the audience isn't there then you in some ways you actually have to careful not to get too tight because you want to muscle them you want to make them be there ya can't make them be right it always has to be this invitation for me at least my style no it's an openness yeah and it's an invitation when I did a talk show briefly after Conan and he said think of what the writers do as they're building you a playground and then you go out and play on it and the Knights that would be terrible or when you think it's about the words and that's what you do so well I always see you in the interviews and the monologue in the desk bits you are staying in it and living in it whether it's good or bad it doesn't matter it's about a shared sense of beingness with the audience at its best at its best yeah but all it doesn't always happen there have to be nights I I'm a performer who sometimes likes to blame the audience there have to be nights can't do it their hand not be wood cannot do it I may know that someone isn't better than others but it's never the audience's fault well let's focus Oh audience agrees with that focus on the sometimes the audience is not only good but they're physically attractive and that's distracting that's distracting when you look out everyone out there could have a modeling career or no personal trainer you go like it not old focus on the words well this is this is la this says people from their high school lived here yep how did you I love it out here yeah how did you feel cuz Hollywood I said to my wife Valerie was actually right there hi Belle we were driving down Hollywood Boulevard and I was like looking at the - yeah she is where's my wife hold on where's your we know where your wife is where's my wife your wife has better seats than my wife hell is going on so I wouldn't be distracted by looking at you that's why they put you over there is that your manager that just went along though somebody just went like this here that's James baby doll Dixon over there I think is that baby doll there you go how does that blend I think the Oakland the late-night lifestyle and obviously you're a devoted family person oh it's actually pretty good because I mean the hours can be really long and you do a lot of shows year with to 202 two hundred someone 202 something like that a year and they're an hour and it's a long day it's a long day but I know where I'm gonna live and I know where I'm going to everyday I mean as showbiz go is it's strangely normative ya know there are long days and it's an odd profession but I mean I have friends with lawyers and bankers who have like worse hours than I sure yeah and the audience travels to you you've sort of flip them know where I live I my wardrobe stays in one place I you know right and we have a mini fridge you actually have a great gift basket at your talk show Oh get hild with stuff from your hometown sure a lot of things from Charleston South Carolina yeah yeah socks thank you three Charlestonians three Charlestonians were attractive enough in high school to come to us now this is not a leading question thinking that it's impossible I think it's quite possible I'm curious how you do it how do you sort of breaking bad scrub off the adrenaline of doing a hundred some shows a year and then going home and watching the Great British Bake Off I mean that's a dip I mean are you able to unwind well I don't I live out in the suburbs so okay I go out we have a post-mortem alleyway there's there's a great routine you know like your body gets used to it so it's no it's not the most exciting thing to describe but we that shows over we go back into one of the empty dressing room or green rooms or guests have been we have a post-mortem how long would did we go over what's going on right but that what's that no one laughed at that please take that out of the show I'm so I'm so sad that that didn't work yeah let's try that again tomorrow night or something and then and then I go up to my office I take my makeup off I talk to my lovely assistant Amy Cole we talk about anything she needs to know for me or I need to tell her and then it takes me about 45 minutes or an hour to get home yeah because that's when it says all oh yeah I listen to music or I might read scripts for the next day or something like that but no it's much easier now than the old show I didn't have a character to get out of right nil Joe I was that guy yeah my father-in-law was not sure you were doing a character he just loves well that's what I love loved and agreed with that guy people not necessarily thought I was that guy but but really liked what that guy was saying on one level yeah people who like the surface level of it yeah really nice because I'm from South Carolina and that's a fairly blood red state and I was I was thrilled when people home thought I meant it right it made going to like the pig-picking way or like a Oyster Roast way better way better what another wife question I write about Hillary she is a lizard person [Applause] so no there's not no problem there's no problem this funny thing you should say about the adrenaline though is that I take my I being a man in his 50s I take my blood pressure and because there are there's a lot of men in their 50s that are like we're supposed to be doing yeah like there have been times there have been times when like my doctors like I can't live at you leave the office because your skull might pop cuz your blood pressure and when this show gets very pressure filled right think about blood pressure every day well your laughter the show it's way higher the live shows have to be very very adrenalin especially when you're reading results of elections and rolling with them right fly yeah but that's exciting though because the audience is so juiced for a live show they know that anything could happen and they know this is all just sort of happening on the fly and it's all being written in about an hour and a half before we go onstage yeah and the final jokes are all being written in the last half-hour or last 45 minutes cuz half hour we have to close it so the the production end of the show can actually produce all the graphics and get the clips and and and do the video montages and all that has to happen in a very short period of time right so there's no rehearsal it's all just creating the script on the fly with the roomful of my writers in one room my two head writers up with some Raskin J cats here my executive producer Chris lectures over there my creative executive producer Tom Purcell my co exact Barry Julian my supervising producer Matt lap and my script supervisor Deanna story and I just are coalescing just reams and reams of jokes that are generated on the fly and we're pairing them down into exactly how what is it what is it with commercials 42 minutes something like that it's exactly 42 minutes on the second and that all has to be created and I know the news does this every day but they don't have to make jokes in bragging right to that and so yeah you're completely i I feel like I could like I could take a bullet and still go on stage on a live show yeah I don't want to I don't want to try that I don't want to try that but but I love it yeah you can't do it all the time because you're ruined for the rest of the week rather than you have to do the regular the other the rest of the schedule well I heard you talking about the difference between anxiety which you already touched on briefly and urgency and how urgency can be more mobilizing than anxiety which can be more fetal positioning sure anxiety anxiety is like fears a great motivator but you can you but you have to transform that with intention what do I want to do you're anxious about whether you're gonna get it done but if you could take that anxiety and channel it into an intention this is what I want to say tonight right or these are the aspects of the story that everybody's talking about today that I want to talk about that urgency or that that intention transforms the poison of anxiety into the just the pure adrenaline of urgency beautiful yeah what what is the you Kate you have to sort of acknowledge your anxiety do it you can't deny that you have it yeah you wave to it yeah yeah yeah you have tea with it right or let it eat you and know what it's not gonna kill you what's it gonna do eventually kill you by destroying your organs well somebody explained to anxiety as it's sitting shotgun you know it's not steering right you can't ignore it but it's one of the things that that brings you into your elements I mean that's what's making at least part of it that's adrenaline you and making your cold go away or or an injured foot or something that's helping you get out there like the injured foot can you tell that I once limped on stage and walked offstage that happens to me was really yeah well how did you do to your foot I dropped it but I lifted out in New York I lifted up my air conditioner and a brick fell on my foot and it doesn't sound like but the bird the foot is embarrassing it looks like have you ever seen an x-ray of your foot it looks like a fish skeleton from a Heathcliff cartoon yes it's all these little baby tic-tac bones it's a joke it's a wonder that you're all here you should all be wearing corrective boots and eye patches I can't believe we made it my mother made sure I had really good shoes as a child wouldn't even have one of eleven children Jimmy Eddy Mayor Bill de Martin Tommy J little Paul Peter Steven yes and being the youngest I got a lot of hand-me-down clothes but she never gave us hand-me-down shoes ah because she's like that's too important it's too important so I always had the only the thing that my mother lost and she were here tonight yes and I had corrective insoles ladies I have high arches so you could save [ __ ] see me point you should see me on when I'm on point I took movement I yeah everybody took movement everybody do you dance I took movement I went to college to learn how to move I you seem like you've manufactured a lot of meaning that that's what I feel coming for me when you do the show what is it but manufactured me unique you can't just do that job the job that you're doing you can't just show up and do it you need to find a purpose right yeah yeah we care about what I don't think you can fake that what are you doing what are we doing yeah what is your purpose our purpose on the show and this isn't evolving this is an evolving purpose they the general organizing principle is I think that all of these shows traditionally and presently like you know from early like you know even from Steve Allen or really Jack Paar days up till now it's the show the monologue is at its best hopefully it's about what there were over the national conversation is what were people talking about today yeah and so we try to never let that national conversation what people talking about today what the leading things that Anderson Cooper is gonna talk about tonight on the show well we don't mistake ourselves for news we know that that's gonna be the majority of the conversation going on in the country right now especially a country that's so absorbed with its politics right now and it has been really since the 2000 election that we're gonna talk about that and never let any of it if we can not let any of it get by that's what we do massive ma I'll do a I've done I've done a 26 minute monologue I think and I mean it classically they're like eight minutes long yeah and and so we do the longest we can so we don't let any of it get by even if sort of pushes back the rest of the show yeah and right now oh no so so we're talking about what people are talking about today people are talking about mostly can you believe what happened today can you believe what he said today is that normal that doesn't seem normal but maybe I'm maybe I'm crazy maybe he keeps telling me that what I'm seeing and hearing isn't what's happening so he's the president maybe he knows more than I do may Mel crazy our show is to say you're not crazy this is crazy and that that is like that is right now that is sort of the overarching idea of the community that we're trying to create in the show is like everybody in here I want to tell you these jokes if you laugh at them that means you understand my point of view that means I'm not crazy and I need that as a reformer that's my honest like oh you'll agree with that oh fantastic then I'm not insane to think that he's insane or this isn't normal or they're wild violations of norms going on all the time that inch-by-inch are eroding our standards as a nation and so the fact that you laugh at the joke makes me feel great and then and then I and then and then the audience hopefully you know hopefully gets the sense of like oh yeah that's that's it that's right that's how I feel and that's the that's the shared feeling that's that's the invitation and the intimacy between myself and 450 people or you know I don't know how many people watch the monologue 5 million something like that yeah yeah yeah so that's the purpose of the show I don't the intention its interested arity is a big thing for me too when when we're laughing we're not alone so you're gonna laughing we're not afraid and we're not afraid yeah you can't laugh and be afraid at the same time that was my next question was it's it's not just sharing information what I'm just interested is the value of comedy to you being silly especially you're a silly silly bean I don't know if you know that I every time I see you that Val and I watch Colbert Christmas three times every Christmas that's nice and and when you're dancing on strangers with candy and when we saw you being a silly-billy up there we love that you're your salty sweet you can be you know Stephen Colbert almost like a newsperson and then all you can do a mean jig so I'm wondering what is the value Mero semi-pro [ __ ] I could go pro I could go pro is not information they'll did the emotional information I try really hard not to break a story for the audience I don't want them to learn from me what happened yeah I want them to have already thought about it and then I I get a sense during the day what people are thinking about and then I tell them what I thought about it or what we collectively because you know there's there's a team of writers a team of producers all of us go into creating what that I'm the time the tip of the spear you know of a huge organization it's making the show every day I'm a vehicle in some ways the I'm the I'm both the seed crystal and the sort of the final thing right but I don't I don't I don't really want to give information to them so what the value of comedy hey the value of comedy in my own life I mean I I can only imagine that there's somebody out there who feels about hopefully I would love to think there are people out there who feel about my show the way I felt when I was a kid about my favorite comedians whether it was like Carson himself or any of this my mom would let me stay up with it was a stand up on even though I never did stand up I would say let me see if there was the John Byner David Brenner or were on scene or Steve Martin my mother was like that too the funny pages were like left out that seems like such a small thing but she was like now read the silly part of the newspaper as well you know right so that value was given to you being silly and watching comedy was important and fostered in the end then when I was a kid I just which is not a secret my father and two of my brothers died when I was quite young and that was a very lonely time after that not that people weren't on unkind or distant to me but you just you become distant well that happens too it's a young person because the world doesn't make a lot of sense to you and all normative forms just disappear for you and I was very bad at school because how could you disappoint me what could you do to me right what could you possibly do to be there to be afraid of it yeah point my favorite would say you already have a shark bite out of your torso you're not afraid to go swimming that's right they already got I would not go back in the water for shark I just want to talk to you he's not want to talk to it there he's not really a therapist seriously he's a guy who hangs out my neighborhood it's the guy who eggs on my neighborhood he doesn't have arms got big teeth he's got a fin no but so I listen to a lot of comedy albums when I was a kid I would listen to George Carlin class clown I listened to I listened to and bear with me here I listened to Bill Cosby's very funny fellow right and Bill Cosby's wonderfulness and then I could do you could drop a needle anywhere on those albums I could just I could just do all the jokes what's the cure well what's a qubit you but I see I used to know what a qubit was yeah and the point is and that's God talking back was church folk Cosby you know Connery noted that was important to churchy folks like us because he was clean right I mean that was joyful sure I didn't matter to me that it mattered it oh really no cuz I listen with headphones on I listen to it I would listen to the headphones on so my mom could not hear George Carlin saying the seven dirty words you can never say on television yeah do you know the word [ __ ] piss [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] tits and they have never ever meant so much to me as they do now working on the CBS television network because of Comedy Central they come and essentially we had a list of like things we could or could not say and I could say some of those I think I could say tits yeah I think I could say tits and I think I could say the fleeting [ __ ] or something like that yeah but not CBS no no you can't even show animals having sex on CBS you can't even show a pencil drawing of two frogs having yes and the reason was is that we had some story about some frog that had been found it was like the equivalent we do this thing called meanwhile which is like not hot topic news stories people love meanwhile the people the people love meanwhile Chris meanwhile it's a great meanwhile is a great it's a great panacea for us too it's so soothing it's a sorbet because the rules the rule of meanwhile is that there can't there's it's almost no politics try no politics if possible and definitely no trouble it would so twice a night we do we do a whole Act which is none of that just just just a rinse just just as like a bum shower you know just a rag in the bathroom of comedy just trying to wipe him off a little bit so you can get the smell off you for another before the guest goes out there just a couple of rose petals up here on to the next act just hits tits and chips Steven Wright just the pill buddy rides for free we had the story where the release it was a non-political story of these two frogs his Amazonian frogs there was something about the mating rituals and these frogs and over my shoulder we had just a pencil drawing from a scientific journal of these two frogs very stylized no details but clearly one frog on top of another and we got a notice for the networks that yeh can't show that that's the earth there frogs there's no they literally have both of them have internal genitalia yeah there's no seeing it nope and we got a note that said do I have this right CBS does not show animals [ __ ] that's right quote-unquote and now that's in an email that's gonna be email if we get hacked by the Russians that's the first thing they're gonna put up so that's also written on the wall get a lot of a lot of the notes and gotten from the network are written on the wall of the rewrite room so and so the next night so we had to blur it we didn't know what the answer was gonna be so we're like I don't know if they're gonna blur this but I'm telling you they're two frogs in my OTS over here to figure out which part of internal genitalia to blur there was no place to blur so the next night we did another story completely made up about tandem skydiving frogs [Applause] and we used the exact same graphics have called it tandem skydiving frogs they did not blur it they did not learn it because it wasn't inside says God having frogs I once said on air stir couscous to win it which is Latin for approximately [ __ ] happens it means like dung it comes to pass leaped it they said they would bleep it if I said it if I said [ __ ] happens in Latin in case there was a monk tuning it pretty sure Francis watches Francis big show I'm a big Catholic called the help of television would you ever want to perform for the Pope like Jim Gaffigan yeah yeah I would I would jig it would be a thrill sure of course yeah on some like the constraints though I mean these are all I do I really do I really like the constraints yeah do anything is a terrible note but well right I love constraints because if you were also like sure I also I mean I like acts I like the commercial I like commercial breaks yeah you know I mean I'd love I mean I HBO or whatever whatever streaming I wouldn't mind be able to say bad word or something like that but I don't care where's some Latin or some Latin right yeah yeah I was very interested about the pen you told the story about when he stopped using a pen on the show when you were talking about how you don't want people to see you as a newscaster and it was a quite because I was a fake newscaster knows it was a deferred Oh sir well I'm sorry and and one of my producers came up to me and I forgot who I was about to interview and because I always had a pen on the old show The Colbert Report I pointed with it it was a very specific pen the pen almost got applause we sold them we sold them like I had the pen we sold the pen you can get the pen all night used to be already depend on line would fun and it lit up and everything okay and it was my pen and I used every night I pointed with it threw it up and caught it and it was it was a thing matter of fact one President President Obama when the President Obama came on the show for the last time yeah we remember we remember I want to do an impression of me though so he said all right where's the pen and that was the first thing he needed was the pen so anyway but when I on the new show one of my producers came up to me and said put throw the pen away don't use a pen for this interview he said just talk to them and because it the pen it's like you're gonna take notes what they're gonna say yeah and I just threw it away and I only keep the pen if I'm talked to a politician now I keep the pen if like you know Bernie's on or I keep the pen if Carla Harris is on or something like that what Kinzinger was on the other night I think I kept the pen why yeah because I want to actually ask some questions in a more orderly fashion and I use it literally I take I take notes of other things that they're saying yeah I will I'll do follow-up questions you know in a more newsy way because they're having we might get normal guys entertain me guys aren't having to defend their project right but they have to defend their policies or their positions so I wanted to make sure I get it right I'm looking at the right thing cuz I've got a good memory I've got a good memory but I don't want to misquote them right yeah I mean it's a crazy time it's wonderful to have you I remember when you started doing late-night there was a real excitement because we needed you we needed you to start doing this kind of late-night Jay Leno just went on the record I don't know if you went on the record really they wrote it out he said I'm Pro denim it's on the record Wow no he said that he doesn't miss it because of all the politics whereas you have certainly folded that in yes I heard what Jay said yeah I mean I agree with what he said and he said it was a sort of a different time when he was hosting as he said like you know I think he said Clinton was horny and Bush was dumb you know yeah and now there's now there's one subject yeah so people see your politics more when you do it now but I'm fine with that right I don't think there's anything wrong with saying I think what this person is doing is damaging to the nation with jokes right always with jokes and never for getting this jokes yeah I don't want to want to go out there I don't ever want to go out there and think that what I'm saying I don't think what I'm saying is important I don't think it's gonna change people's minds I don't think that I'm a political player I don't think that I should be taken seriously but I do think that I I feel seriously about what's going on in the country everybody seems to be feeling pretty seriously about her or a large number of people and you know I'm there too I'm there to make everybody feel better to know that they're not alone in that field right I think that's beautiful and I wouldn't change it for the world but I hope you don't say that to your wife pepper I think you're beautiful and I wouldn't change anything to the world but don't make me say it yes what we're talking about Carlin and Carlin talked about at the moment of laughter it's one of my favorite Carlin quotes is this vulnerability a beautiful vulnerability maybe half of the audience's vulnerability when you're laughing your spacious is basically what he said sure and in this you're not afraid right and because and you're not afraid he's sort of forget who you are it's a it's a beautiful timeless place laughing is a little bit like orgasming totally I don't want it okay so anyway we'll get there I'm thirstier than you are I don't understand I don't know I thought it was weird this whole time are you a lizard person find out find out of the after-party I knew it is there an after-party by the way I don't think so look at our faces Stephen we're not after party people why because we're to tail yeah but you know can we get a one shot of these faces Hey [Applause] where's the party nobody's letting us through ropes and you never be it's funny if you were let through those ropes that's that's what channeling said Seinfeld is channeling said when will I be comfortable at a party and Seinfeld said the moment you're comfortable at a party is the moment you stop being funny which I thought was perfect well then I'm hilarious but yeah think about big influences for me not that you asked but made me think Carlin Carlin and and Steve Martin and and Cosby and David fry and if you know who he was he did he had everybody did like everybody who did Richard Nixon was really doing david fries Richard Nixon he had this group famous album called Richard Nixon of fantasy which was about long before Nixon left office it was about with a Nixon's he played multiple characters with Gabe Kaplan who was very funny and people don't give him his props hilarious great impressionist too and gay pop Kaplan's grandfathers and so that that was that that was a great political influence of political comedy influence but Mad Magazine Mad Magazine was probably my number one comedic influences as a kid I loved it William G Gaines and William G Gaines said that Madame agony could never be printed on glossy paper because it could never be respectable interest is important that always be on pulp yes yeah so it always looked cheap yes and it always looked worthless yes you know I had no respectability it's so important not to be respectable I and it and it didn't show respect that was a very powerful thing as a child you know yeah in the good way sure it was a reverend and you'd read it and you're like oh right all of these roles were playing including dad and mom and the teacher they're all are because all the parodies they absolutely they're taken down nine oh two one oh you know what I mean a smell gross place star bless my favorite but comedy is so much better when it's on the outside making fun of the thing yeah which is why it's it's weird that you're so normal you know you how do you know that I'm normal I maybe I'm very odd but I have a candy coating like an M&M maybe I'm an M&M filled with fire ants but on the outside it's a beautiful candy shell of normative mid-century American you know white straight Christian male yes which is that was the idea of The Colbert Report was that I am I kind of am the thing I was parodying white straight Christian male American a guy who perceives that as American neutral you know white all these other people need all these special rights right why can't they look why can't everybody just be white and and and I'm so glad I don't do that show anymore because that's that's an actual political position now [Laughter] that's not it wouldn't even be weird now it would be so hard to do that character and leapfrog like Glenn Beck was hard to leapfrog yeah when Beck was hard to do the show about we eventually kind of gave up and kind of ignored him but um and I think we were a harbinger of things to come there and but this president would be impossible so much better to drive straight at him for me I wouldn't write a parody of this cat obviously yeah you mind if I use jazz lingo for this interview maybe yeah daddy-o you cool with that daddy-o I prefer help to him you're your hep are you hip to how hep I am I think I know what we're saying you're way gone you are way gone daddy well you are I like my band leader John batiste the great Jon batiste he's that's real I mean he is a way gone cat I like he really is I need more friends just in general you're interviewing me tonight it's really just a cry for help yes it is I was told there might be a dinner afterwards let's see I'm on tonight you'll see yes it is the appetizers jerk Valerie you're definitely invited yes what was I gonna say matter who cares I do think it's interesting as a Jesus leaning Oh person normal normal Jesus please don't misunderstand or take it as an insult that I think you're normal you're exceptional and weird hold on all kinds of call all kind of hot-button words use in there buddy okay go ahead I am interested you know that you stay in the Catholic circle and and married and kids didn't that too I don't yeah that is a mystery to me hi it's like there pled that Catholic Church is trying really hard to get people to leave right now really really really inverse missionary it's an acid test right now how much do you believe in the Eucharist how much do you believe you believe in creation it's sure literally well that's an excellent question because you're not gonna define transubstantiation this is only for those that are in and here's the thing here's the thing that's the belief that when you take the Eucharist it turns into the body of creates already little any of Christ before you take it I thought it spread here and once it goes in no no it's bread after this there's bread after the priest does this we can see what you can see it's a wafer it's [Applause] [Laughter] the cap yes yes yes it is it's a way for well that's all we have time for tonight it's a it's a it's a it's a mystery you know do you say do you believe in transubstantiation I do believe in transubstantiation in the same degree that I believe that you know God made the heavens in the earth you know like that that there is some mystery beyond of this existence the the water on the one becoming or the water on the wine become the blood of Christ and the bread becoming the body of Christ is no more mysterious to me than the fact that you and I are right here yeah that why there is something instead of nothing is a much bigger mystery to me then whether that bread has become the body of Christ it's it's it's the it's the it's the bottom line moment of mystery and suspension and awe right if you can hook into that if you can if you didn't every so often just remind yourself how strange it is to be anything at all then what is best about my church which I perceive as someone who grew up in the low country of South Carolina is like a cluster of oysters and when you go to an oyster roast and there's a cluster of oysters they're covered with mud and and and dirt and seaweed and somebody's hosed it off and they put it in a steamer on a fire to open it up and you put on a big old oyster glove so don't cut yourself up and you take a knife and you work your way through and some of those oysters are full of meat and sweet and some of them full of mud and someone have a little crab and or something like that I and I'm sure that this is not the way my church would want me to do it that's how I look at the last 2,000 years of my church is I'm going through this cluster there's aggregate of everything that has grown on top of the words of Christ and the story of Christ and the gift of Christ and I try to take from it what is nourishing now because I feel like I can disagree with my church you know and pick and choose like that there's a word for that and it's called a Protestant [Applause] and yet and yet I know one has kicked me out yet yeah no one's kicked me out yet right but there's there's far more Steven thinking Catholics out there as well they're not sure I heard one yes sure well we were talking so you're saying the the miracle of transubstantiation is an opportunity for you Steven to humble yourself and play in the space of Miss 100% 1% exactly it's an attitude of humility just join the masses an attitude of humility right yeah and that's important but we know no lie backstage before we came out we were talking about how some something's holding our molecules together there's like a force that's hold what was the scientists that you referenced Oh @ar de chardin he's a Jesuit priest and scientist yeah so we and we were talking about my fifth one of my favorite definitions of God is Dante's they said God is the love that hung the Stars so something that's keeping what is is I think that's a very liberal in front and that seems to be your area sure but you like the Christ story oh yeah the exclusion and I I knew it I think a really fan like wow that's a really cool story right he had a rough hard road to hoe and he did it do you know what I mean like he didn't turn away from from the well as were asked to it from the cross that were asked to bear right he didn't know he drank from that cop yeah you know what is is there something in you from which you could not retreat is there is something that would be asked of you that is you that is not your appetites that is just you from which you cannot retreat hmm and that that's the cross you have to bear to be true to yourself right who are you yeah okay have you ever read a man for all seasons no I gave I gave Chris a first edition of man for all seasons when he first started come work for me to let him know I just read the introduction by Robert bolts about Thomas More st. Thomas More very Catholic and he got it oh they're bringing out a copy No I'll be long no I'm realizing I haven't checked in on the time is we're good how are we I don't know well okay I realized that they've always been going on for a while it might be from there and I was like I thought maybe they'd be lighting me from behind you cuz I'll be looking this way but maybe they're not when are we supposed to stop oh here we go here's the sign no you can just yell it are you rating me and if you walk that out here now hold it up bye that was nice we got a 10 out of 10 Steve nailed it I would love to talk more about Jesus but um PaleyFest is mostly mostly a Christian festival isn't it you will all leave here tonight healed should it's up to us we could I could wrap up with a couple simple questions or we could open up to the audience for one or two what why don't why don't we get a couple from you guys there's some mic runners we literally would only do a couple of them so sorry we talked for so long but you guys are such a great crowd it would be lovely to hear from Mong are there any micro neurs way up there for the in the in the the in the mama colby received the people closest people closest to God up there well Steven the sky is also below us so okay Neil deGrasse Tyson I'm just saying if we think gods in the sky you could point down as well that's true they told me only this area cuz that's where the mics are I'm so sorry balcony I know all right you want to yell your question one of you can yell the question one person everybody quiet everybody quiet someone raised their hand in the balcony up there I'll get that woman that man right there I see you stand up I see you stand up sir you stand up yes stand up yes now everyone be quiet yell your question he's asking someone else what he should yell you sir yes did Trump learn from watching me what is this that drug commercial from the 90s I learned did we like my old character that what you mean he could have he stolen a lot of my lines he stole like what was the big thing he we did thing about he stole the thing of the day we actually ran a clip of me saying and on the old show I think he said I don't think up here I think with my gut he said that's what he said I don't use my brain I use my gut and that's literally the opening of The Colbert Report that very first show truthiness I said you know there are more nerve endings in your stomach than there are in your brain now you're gonna say I look that up and that's not true and I'll say that's because you look that up in a book next time look that up in your gut first show and he just said that beautiful he is a delicious idiot I remember pretty early on pretty early on the Trump administration remember Chris because Chris is in our rewrite room he's checking to see what the like the delay delayed his stories our people talked about that night and and and and he looked up to me he goes are you sure you want to call the president the United States an idiot I said I'm pretty sure okay down here down here sorry thank you sir I hope you feel that love I get so excited knowing that you're out there for us I don't want to get sentimental but it means so much to it oh that's nice if you want to pick somebody from the law who do where would he have mics it's more fun who wears the mic man go to that man next to you go to that man next to you yes man with a fantastic tan he waited for applause for the tan and you didn't put a lot of work into it Steve I'm class of north northwestern class of 87 go cats oh wow what is this shark tank sorry so what I'm wondering is in the early days of the current show when you presumably were negotiating with cbs4 how political how sharp your humor was going to be able to get what was that like for you those first year or two the first year - it was the first six months okay really honest-to-god six months in for the first six months and I'm sure what to do I had been so political and from a very subjective point of view doing the subjective comedy and the character and when we first started the show we actually were pretty darn political right at the very beginning and then we went away with it we went away from it we're like ah this is too much like the old gig let's go away from it and then that did not feel right either and then we were just kind of like swimming around going oh god we've tried two things what do we do now and and then six months in Chris came in it goes why don't you do the thing you're really good at which is to talk about what happened today you're so good at doing it really fast let's try that so I mean and and we did that about six or seven months into the show and then people noticed that next fall people noticed about a year in that we were doing that and then and then my only fear was that people wouldn't people wouldn't come back and notice that people wouldn't resample the show to see that we had found the way we wanted to do it but those first six hearted feel felt terrible because you're you're having to reinvent a new way to do a show I mean I've I never in my entire life done anything as myself I had always done something in character I was an actor I said to baby doll my the James baby doll Dixon the true king of late night over there my manager I said baby doll if I take this job it's the first time in you I've ever just been me I don't know if I can do that so I had to learn how to do something I'd never done before with a camera pointed at me on national television I don't recommend that feeling but I never lost faith that we would find the way to connect to the audience because that's what I wasn't feeling the connection and I never lost faith that my staff wouldn't be able to do it and really part of it was trusting them more was to step away and to allow them to to know me and and for me to trust them and so it was not it was not a it's not a great feeling but I never doubted that we would find it eventually okay somebody over here how about we haven't had a question we have not had a question from a woman yet how about this woman in the stripe and shirt hi Steven hello my question first of all I just want to say what an honor to spend the evening with you because that's been one of my bucket list oh thank you yes last week was Justin Timberlake this week it's you it's been a good week yes he brought the sexy back I'm going to take it away it's all you it's all you I just wanted to ask in regards to those of us that are strong Christians that follow you I follow Christ hopefully we follow you on Instagram we follow in social media and your voice is very important too I think a lot of us out there we see the same but my question is in if you have opportunity for dinner who would you have dinner with alive or dead alive or do y'all know the game [Laughter] yeah well I would go for a live and dead and go with Jesus first Nazareth headlining the dinner oh I I mean I don't know I would I would like to I mean I'm such a huge Tolkien fan I would want to have dinner with the professor I wonder what you're tapping your husband on the head to thank to congratulate him for my answer I was talking I'd like to do I'd like to do Jared Tolkien boo-boo-boo-boo-boo thank you very much I mean these are pretty pedestrian I'd like to do Lincoln I'd like to I'd like to have dinner with Lincoln and and and and my wife I guess the three of us will take out the I guess in post and my wife I guess JRR tolkien the King of Kings and I guess my wife I feel like we have time for one more yes let's go a little bit further back up on this aisle can you go beyond the red rope go beyond the red rope of shame let those people into the club yeah why were they corralled yes on the on the left there's a woman in a black top with long sleeves with her hand up sure either one you pick make them fight for the mic yes ma'am I'm such a huge fan I've been watching for a while first of all just a quick question I was wondering how Jon Stewart is doing under your desk I was wondering if he's still doing well doing great he's doing great we hosted out every so often and we give him some we give him some fresh hay and everything's everything's just great he stopped biting at his hands he's free-range now what I was just wondering if you ever miss musical theater and if you miss if I you miss musical theater no cousin I never really did musical theater I was in my I was in Annie Get Your Gun in high school the biggest thing I've ever done was a Stephen Sondheim asked me if I would be Harry in company and I I was doing the show at the time the old show Colbert reports like I can't possibly do it how could I possibly this is like in the middle of my production I can't go to Lincoln Center and do a weekend of company and then I got a letter from him saying you know I think you'd be great you've got a perfectly fine voice for this role please please do it and my wife I read the letter to her she looked by the letter F he goes no one let alone Stephen Sondheim is ever gonna ask you to sing Sondheim and you have to do it so I did it and I'm honored to have done it but was the most terrifying thing I've ever done I like singing I like singing just for fun and I don't really have a trained voice but if I could play a role I would want to play Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar I think we're out of time I'm sorry I see the hands I know but we'll be at Arby's we'll be an Arby's horsey sauce for everybody crispy curls on coke no problem I do want to say I can't summarize how all the love that the people feel in this room for you but in a time where there are so many ugly mouthpieces saying things that aren't in our hearts it's wonderful to have you out there fighting for us and doing it [Applause] you

Channel: The Paley Center for Media

Views: 856,027

Keywords: PaleyFest, PaleyFest LA 2019, Paley Center, The Paley Center for Media, Stephen Colbert, Pete Holmes, CBS, Comedy, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, Late-Night Shows, Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, Adam Kinzinger, Jay Leno, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George Carlin, Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, David Frye, Richard Nixon, Gabe Kaplan, Mad Magazine, William Gaines, Glenn Beck

Id: P53epDYBkVM

Length: 63min 1sec (3781 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 05 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/sarahLM]

my god this was glorious, thank you for sharing!!

[u/dWog-of-man]

Wow yeah this was awesome!