Amos 'n' Andy - Kingfish Gets Drafted (1951)

[Music] hello again folks this is amos you know in the great city of new york there happens to be two george stevenses one is a young hard-working ambitious young fellow of 19. [Applause] and the other is the one we know a little better george kingfish stephen and this led to quite a mix-up i tell you walters we have just got to get a hold of this george stevens uh-huh george stevens mystic knights of the sea lodge hall hell there's the address well it's the only george in the neighborhood that must be him yeah that's him all right and look thompson you better get out a special delivery letter to him right away because according to our quota george stevens has got to be army by the middle of the month [Applause] oh what is it lightning uh yeah electric light bill hmm final notice bulldog collecting agency uh something wrong kingfish i don't know son i just got a quick fries there that there's something on this letter they're going to send a cool chiller in my bag united states government i wonder what they can be writing me for uh maybe they sent you a refund on your income tax i don't think so before they reuse something you got to fund them something in the first place i ain't funding nothing for you united states government war department oh i know endless maybe they want me for a reward against i got my old helmet back home there that fire done planted the terrain a minute but i can dump the dirt out and be good as new for say kingfish you don't think that the water department wants you in the uh candy don't even say the word i haven't really think fish now wait a minute there are two ways to read a letter fast and slow now this is the kind of lady you got to sneak up on like a water [Applause] moccasin [Applause] what is you doing kingfish i don't want the thing to hit me all at once see something kingfish word coming up there now what'd you say [Applause] greetings too early for christmas ain't it yeah i don't see no holly on the thing either [Applause] greetings from the president of the united states you have been chosen by your friends and neighbors to serve whole and smooth handy they're going to induction me conducting you i guarantee you they don't want you you ain't got nothing to worry about all you got to do is call them up and tell them that i made a mistake yeah that's the thing you do the number right here on the letter i'll just uh relieve my mind here i wonder how they make a mistake like that hello hello champ board this is george stevens i just want to tell you about something funny that happened yeah you sent me a draft notice this morning you all done made a big mistake oh what's that hold the phone george stevens from the mystic knights of the sea lodge hall hello i'll tell you where you made your mistake bud this is george stevens of the mystic knights of the sea lodge hall now see here mister you can't take me you just yes see you in there yeah again what in the world is i going to do this i just ain't no jokes on i know i'll go see my lawyer calhoun kingfish what do you want to see a lawyer for the time like this i'm going to sue the united states government family they're using the mail pretty fraud yeah but out of my way something i know you could no that wouldn't work well you can no no you go to jail you can no we won't go to jail for that you stop the big parade here i pay you to use your brain not your feet i got it thank goodness i thought you was coming up dry again kingfish the thing for you to do is have your wife sapphire go down to the draft board and plead with him not to teach you plead with him that's what i said plead with him mr you can't take my husband to the army you can't do it he's all i've got in the world all i've got between me and his salvation and what've become of our three little children who's going to take care of the job and take it and live life you can't take it not my man not my husband the father of my children please please don't break up our happy home and please don't send me something to the full house baby that's just what i'll do thank you calhoun thank you good evening george dear hello everybody honey i got something to tell you sit down and honest i want you to be brave i know this is going to come as a terrible shock to you honey but i will i've gone in the army george you enlisted well uh that ain't exactly uh i mean my hero now wait a minute yeah the tsunami guns and cannons a fella could get hurt guys this is the most wonderful thing you ever have done for the first time in my life i'm really proud of you i know i'm gonna miss you george but i know you'll be somewhere someplace doing your duty oh george i'm so proud of you i just got to go on the other side yeah kingfish the large brother is all excited about you going in the army he's giving you a big testimonial dinner and everything and confidentially they're giving you a solid gold watch dude oh it's going to be great and my wife's so happy and i might become a hero in the army man of my courage yeah and who knows you might get one of them big medals the croaks together open your cluster i can see myself in action howlin man stephen that's what they call me hot dog and then i was in the front line and i defended the left frank and the children with the screaming and all at once we got word that the enemy had infiltrated our rank and two spit tunes was moving up from the rear so i ripped off my frame floor and i stopped instilling reading right back at him and when the infinite region was over there i was taking prisoners with one hand and raising away with my tommy gun with the other i'll call you back later i right in the middle of a big battle i let go with a here grenade don't forget andy i'm about to show a hand grenade hello short stephen vegan mr stevens this is mr thompson down at the draft board i all set and ran to go you can tell the general you can stop by and pick me up anytime stephen i want to apologize for our most serious error on our part it seems that we sent you a draft notice by mistake it was meant for another george stevens but you can't uh my wife i got a gold watch yes yeah i mean i gotta go i'm very sorry if this air on our part inconvenienced you but you are not the stevens we want sorry who is that on the phone kingfish corona man yeah uh don't forget now you was about to throw the hand grenades yeah you throw it in there i don't feel so good i think i'll take a little walk down by the river [Applause] next yes that's fine [Music] sorry is he's all very proud of him you said it amos thank you amen kingfish on behalf of the brothers of the lodge i take this opportunity on this auspicious occasion to present to you this solid gold 17 jewel watch it's in a velvet case and it's engraved on the back [Applause] i thank you folks i have a little personal gift here for you a set of hair brushes oh thank you i knitted it myself well good morning soldier boy wonderful party last night old boy wonderful party and quite an article in frank windell's column this morning too says uh local man sees his duty and does it yes you is quite a hero all right oh i really think andrew by the way kingfish what outfit has you been assigned to oh the good 135th henry that's what i have in the good old fighting 135th good well kingfish if i don't see you again remember keep america safe for us civilians so long too long son now listen here clara van porter you don't have to phone me every day i know the 135th has left for camp but george says he'll be delayed until his orders come true you see ms jackson i can explain the whole thing i just waiting for my order to come through probably tied up military channel you know how it is [Applause] kingfish you mean to say that you ain't going to the army and i'll tell you this cause you my path but if anybody else found it out i'd be disagreed for life the draft i got was a mistake oh so that's why you didn't go to fort bragg with 135th handy what'll i do everybody waiting for me to leave i can't even show my face in the street yeah and another thing the large brothers are getting jumping they say if you don't hurry up and leave soon they're going to stop making payments on that gold watch oh what am i going to do i tried to enlist every place but no one will have me oh the disgrace the disgrace listen king fish the only way out of this is to leave for camp that's all i know leave the camp yeah wait a minute here i could leave for camp without leaving for camp i take it easy kingfish don't go getting delirious about the thing i serious damn it both out to tell everybody goodbye at the depot and sneak back here to the lodge hole hide in the beef for about a month and tell everybody i was honorable discharged yeah and i could bring your food down to you it might work kingfish handy round up the brothers call out the newspaper have them all down to the station for a big send-off yeah but wait a minute kingfish if you have taken the train full brag how are you getting back here to the lodge hall i got that covered son i am boxed from pennsylvania station with flying colors sneaks off the train in newark with my coat collar turned up hiding my feet they're there daughter you must be brave oh mother he's drunk come on in and yeah i brought you lunch kingfish yeah in the dining room oh yeah [Applause] you brought me two hot dogs oh yeah yeah wait a minute two buns but only one dog there was two dogs in there when i started one of them must have flipped out on the way over from the dining room yeah from the looks of that mustard on your chin about to flip right in your mouth i'm getting sick of this basement i've been down here now six days i getting claustrophobia basement phobia and everything else i even getting probiotics but kingfish i don't think it's safe for you to leave out of here andy i gotta i can't stand it no longer yeah but saying that i'll tell you what you go upstairs in the lodge all in the office and when i wanna come up i'll signal you like this after coast is clear you signal me back like this okay kingfish knock when you're ready [Applause] oh andy i was waiting for you uh waiting for me yes what's the trouble sapphire oh i'm so worried about george worried yes he's been down in fourth grade for six days and i had heard a word from him nah nah sapphire don't worry i just think it's an oversight you'll be using the kingfish anytime now i think that radiator needs a new gasket sure makes a lot of noise when the team comes up yes well i'm just beside myself and worried about george i can't understand andy are you sure that's the theme that seems joe got a nice beat to it ain't it and i think that's somebody down in the basement uh it must be the janitor he's working down there i'll call down to him oh janitor stop that noise you deserving a woman up here by the name of sapphire steven well done well andy i can't stand this offense about what's happened to george no longer i'm gonna do something about it uh do something about it yes me and mama is taking the trains first thing in the morning and we're going down to fort bragg and drop in and pay george a little bit [Applause] kingfish you better come out of that basement the wall has really started we only have 20 minutes to make the train to fort bragg take it easy daughter we got plenty time they probably got him locked up in the clink down there anyhow i bet it didn't take the army long to get wise to that guy hello what yes this is mrs stevens this is western union i have a wire here from footbag north carolina yeah arriving on fellow tomorrow morning so don't come down and see me sign your hero thank you oh mother that was western union george is coming home on furlough oh this is wonderful i wonder how george knew i was coming oh then down be so happy to see my soldier boy well how are look see don't forget use cast stuff in three different walls there what them two silver bars mean well i ain't sure but what one silver bar means two means you're twice as good well you look great kingfish i bet you're gonna make an imprint on south find that outfit well let's go yeah forward march right turn left hand kingfish uh who running this army boys gotta do any fighting in dewey they're going to be in a whole lot of trouble well you better leave this here you're going to arrive home and then i'll tell you the general i said general pal i just got to get home and see my wife and my darling mother-in-law and then the general give the whole 135th a night furlough oh george we're so proud of you oh yes son-in-law i sure got to hand it to you thank you mama george's you're happy down there great outfit that 135th and most all the officers is an ambulance men too hello status president hello mrs stevens this is donovan of the times citizen we'd like to get a statement from you you know uh how it feels to be the wife of a serviceman overseas all the seas why certainly your husband's outfit was shipped out last thursday honey stop jabbing on the phone i want to tell you about my life at fort bragg i wonder if you could call me back again later i think i'll have a statement for you how many of you want to see me in the and they were shooting at us with real bullets and there i was on my hands and knees through the top one and a gun went off to the left of me and a gun went off to the right of me oh i tell you it was something [Applause] could i see you a moment well yes my darling well kingfish despite it was two of them you put up a pretty good fight yeah andy are being on applying to the veterans administration for a pension [Music] oh wow [Music] you

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Length: 26min 26sec (1586 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 03 2021