Americans React to The BEST Joe Lycette Emails! 8 out of 10 Cats!

[Music] I've been trying to sell fake stories to newspapers and this is one I try to sell to the Sun newspaper I'll just read it to you I wrote I was recently walking through London Soho when I spotted Matt Baker from the BBC One show on his phone in the street he seemed angry about something and at one point he was so angry that to my amazement he tried to kick a pigeon he had about three attempts and on one of them he did clip its wing he was shouting what sounded like die pigeon prick in any way I've never met Matt Baker I managed to get some pictures I was wondering how much you might be interested in buying them for I got a reply from the Sun newspaper within two minutes [Music] Joe kicking a pigeon question mark that is pretty shitty for a one show bloke it's quite colloquial for a first email backup can you send me the pictures cheers I can't give his real name for legal reason so I call him Rodney I said Rodney my lawyer says I shouldn't send you the full pictures until I have an offer from you as to how much you'll pay for them I've attached a cropped version of one of the shots for the time being he replied that's a photo of a pigeon here's my photo of a pigeon he attached that one on the top there he also attached a picture of Matt Baker and said can you send me a picture of this man kicking a picture so I sent him a curveball and I just said is that a picture of Matt Baker I thought he was Chinese [Music] yeah I think we need a soundboard button with Jimmy's one yeah I need why I have to it just adds more like comedic value to everything that's [ __ ] stupid you thought he was Chinese question mark you mean you have a picture of a Chinese man picking a picture I said yes how much will you pay for it I said I fear we might be wasting each other's time good day you'll be sorry when you see tomorrow's guide in front page uh so I spend a lot of time writing letters and I found the email address of the CEO of network rail he owns all of the train stations in the United Kingdom so I genuinely wrote this dear sir I am contacting you regarding an urgent emergency at London Houston last night I enjoyed a prawn Masala and garlic naan from a Curry House in Peckham I had concerns about the hygiene standards of the establishment but was blinded by my hunger and chose to ignore the warning signs thus today I have been as my father would say pissing through my arms the reason this is relevant to you is that I currently find myself at London Houston train station without 30 Pence some of you might be ahead of me on this as your toilet facilities demand this fee and I'm about to explode I am left in a most perilous position I have managed to find some privacy and I'm currently perched behind a bin on one of the platforms near delishay de France desperately trying to hold in well I anticipate to be a towering cascading waterfall of post-missile sadness is I was wondering if you might be able to lend me some of your 675 000 pound salary then I put in Brackets that would buy you 2.25 million train station toilet trips you lucky to avoid this at 2.25 million train station toilet trips you lucky bugger I'm just asking for a friend can you guys put whoever she is down below I'm asking for a friend okay don't do it guys totally bro what's your problem why can't he can a man just be happy for once nah okay just ask your type would you mean that's not my type what are you talking about we talk what are you talking about wait till our trip to the UK I thought we'd just go in there and meet fans yeah what what is wrong with you yeah yeah yeah yeah be fans stuff yeah what are you talking about meeting I can't meet female fans too what the [ __ ] bro we have no female fans yeah we do 12 I checked last time 12 of them are female what's wrong it was just a simple question you gotta turn it into something else you [ __ ] pending atrocity either that or perhaps stop charging for what most people would consider to be a basic human right regards Jayla I say I also put PS should you lend me the money I would be delighted to invite you for tea at my home to say thank you but please give me plenty of notice as I'll need to install a turnstile outside the bathroom I'm gonna put PPS you're literally taking the piss [Applause] a lot of parking fans I I've realized if you ask for evidence then often you can get out of the fan now I was up north doing a show and I got to find so I emailed the council asking for the evidence I got an email from some woman called Steph who said Mr lysit I have passed your email on to the Freedom of Information team hopefully they'll be in touch with you soon now I didn't like that word hopefully so I replied Steph sadly hopefully doth Butternut parsnips can I have an email address for the person you have contacted my lawyers would like to contact them directly you have been very helpful and hopefully you won't get caught up in the forthcoming your request is very broad so I've assumed you only want information pertinent to your recent parking fine attached is the evidence which we have which are photographs of your car clearly parked in a taxi ride now the photographs they had are of my window which had taxes by presumably a disgruntled Taxi Driver there's actually no evidence of a taxi rank in that photograph so I went back to Colin didn't I said Mr Cullen when you assume you make an ass out of you and me I see that your evidence is nothing more than a picture of the words taxi rank written on my car I would argue this evidence is insufficient I also put PS apologies for the delay in replying to your previous email I'm currently on the Costa Del Sol I provided evidence of this and then I just put this picture in order to reverse the fire and you will need to provide evidence that your vehicle was not in a taxi rank so I said Oh Mr Colin evidence supplied I was actually parked on the moon as you can see clearly [Applause] next time I was on this show I received a little bit of feedback from a viewer who for legal reasons we're going to call Brian I received about 3 A.M after the broadcast the subject was 8 out of ten cars I saw you on the show and had to email you to tell you you are [ __ ] Jimmy Carr is the best thing about that show by Miles you're not even remotely funny here's some advice find another job you're a dick ah they misspelled your please consider the environment do you really need to print the scene Brian did foolishly as he left his email signature on from his workplace solicitors so I replied dearest Brian thank you for your email regarding my recent appearance on 8 out of 10 cars the spin-off show to the very guys out of ten cats I read with great interest your thoughts on Jimmy Carr he is indeed a fantastic comedian and broadcaster as you left your address for your workplace on your email signature I've had it arranged for signed photograph of Jimmy to be posted to you to thank you for your feedback yours Joe Lassa I also put PS I will now spend some time considering the environment before printing your emails he then sent me an email very quickly back he replied um please don't send me any stuff this is my workplace sorry about the last email I was drunk but regardless I sent him this picture which is your picture with my autograph Ed reply to my beloved Brian thank you for your apology but it is unnecessary if anything I actually owe you an apology as I've said what is clearly my autograph on a Jimmy Carr picture I practiced my signature on leftover photographs of Jimmy and there must have been a clerical error I've had Jimmy first class this morning with my compliments Forever Yours Joe Lisa I also put PS I'm still here in the environment [Music] please please don't send stuff to my office I'm sorry for sending the first email I was trying too late I'd sent him this that is how I signed my name he then replied honestly mate what the actual [ __ ] I've apologized and you're still sending stuff this is my work placement the glitter got everywhere oh I added glitter so I replied okay Brian I'll stop sending you stuff I should tell you I've finished my considerations as to the environment before printing your emails and I've decided to print them regardless the post to your offices and addressed to the manager oh a one word reply from Brian [ __ ] bro I like writing letters particularly letters of complaints and I um I recently got a parking fine on Christmas Eve in Birmingham city center so I I wrote this letter of complaint now my friends say that they think I went in too heavy I don't think I did I wrote dear bastards I got a parking ticket in Birmingham city center on the 24th of December you may be more familiar with this state's more popular name Christmas Eve I was in town buying food and toys for some sick and Starving Children after in a local orphanage plus a small gift for my aging mother brackets some novelty chocolates in the shape of male genitalia actually named cocklets when I returned to my car you can imagine my surprise and disappointment to find a parking ticket was affixed to the windscreen I cried as Jesus did on Christmas forgive these Sinners they know what they do that's actually Easter but I got confused I have also changed your parking enforcement officer shouting die Judas I am willing to offer as payment a bottle of Sherry Christmas cheer and all that if you fail to pay within 14 days it will be reduced to half a bottle if you refuse this offer I will have to pay the fine using money from the orphanage which will force me to starve one of the weaker children meet me as a child he's a six-year-old boy with Fair hair in the voice of an Angel to put PS just to be abs olute if you do not cancel the fine I will kill a child well Jimmy I've got some of my comedy correspondence I always leave my Christmas shopping to the last minute and last year was no exception on the 23rd of December I found a bowl a fruit bowl that I thought my mother would quite like on a online store based in Birmingham which is where I live so I emailed them to ask if I could get the delivery quicker than their usual five working days because I needed it for Christmas I received this email from Chris he said Mr licit thank you for your email this item is an online exclusive therefore we can only arrange it online delivery is five working days kind regards Chris I'm not sure his regards were kind actually so I replied Dear Chris thank you for your kind regards the issue is that I need the bowl tomorrow as it's a Christmas gift is there no way I can pay extra for next day delivery or pay online and collect it very kind regards Joe Dear Mr lassit we only offer delivery in five working days unfortunately kind regards Chris definitely unkind so I replied Chris I need this bowl for Christmas day which occurs famous where does the bowl reside is it in physical form in your shop in Birmingham or does it exist as an ethereal Spirit other than the internet manifesting itself only when purchased through your online store regards Joe he replied Mr Leicester I see well done Chris as it is an online exclusive but as a gesture of Goodwill that can be arranged if you order through the website and come in later you can collect kindergarten that's so hard I went in paid 4.99 Postage and Packaging on the website went in collected the bowl gave it to mum she loved it very nice Christmas a few days after New Year another Bowl arrives at the house get this email Mr license I'm contacting you regarding your purchase we sent you a bowl and error after you collected one from our shop could you return it to us if you would like to keep it we can arrange payment for it kind regards Chris so I replied hello Chris here is the bowl and just attached a picture that's the bowl I'm referring to could you advise when you'll be returning the bowl I replied I don't understand Chris I returned the bowl in the last email as a gesture of Goodwill if you sent me the 499 I paid the postage he replied keep the bowl and keep the change and just attach a picture of a Fiverr gotta go that last one just stopped it all off now that sounds amazing uh it's another guy I've never heard of to be honest um Joe like Joe license talks a lot but he's kind of funny I like the sarcasm yeah I wish up I wish we got to send emails like that at work bro [ __ ] always so formal yo he's speaking facts about the um like when you write like sincerely or 100 natural I don't mean that I don't I never put that please say thanks thanks that's that's mine it's been for a long time it's pretty neutral it's best but like you know when it's like a Friday you know they've let they made you work late and you got to send something through and you know you were like you'd like uh uh have a good weekend I'm really saying good [ __ ] riddance like f you guys it's like how could you make me work best at 5 p.m on a Friday like five it'll be like seven or so whatever these people will annoy me I'll be like the best yeah yeah and I because like so I used to get caught by that like best regards and then sometimes when I used to be tight I'll just put like regards so I just started putting best all the time yep um but he's wittish a lot of these guys on these shows remember we watched the uh what's the other Kevin bridges yeah on uh what was the show uh would I like to you yeah yeah and then we got to check out the guy in the middle of the Lee Mack yes they're so they're witty I don't know I feel like one thing us Americans like is the wit bro the sarcasm yeah I think it's because everybody's just weird about it about the whole human thing nobody's like witty and quick on their feet I feel like we lack in that department um we have a sarcasm though yeah yeah uh New York yeah New York sure but I I don't think it's all like for example like if you travel because I've traveled I've been to other states before it's not the same though of course like you'll say something people look at you like and you'll be like oh so you're not laughing okay this is weird now and it's you know it's not the same at all in New York either that's true well yeah if you go upstate you know they're [ __ ] well like usually if you ask someone you are for help or directions they'll usually tell you Michigan I was trying to get directions to Something the lady just like ran away from me all right that's a that's a different problem I'd run away from it yeah she probably saw your face yeah you guys you guys are dead talking about sorry it's a little there yeah it's a little there it was not bad it wasn't bad um anyway this was right I'm still looking at me what the [ __ ] Jesus if you looked at her that way God damn no wonder she really bro you do come off a little like [Music] I can't get them if you're trying to rob me or hug me bro it's something it's just weird I'm not trying to hug you bruh this is our banter so The Headstone hello thank you [ __ ] uh thank you to oh I'm forgetting the name I'm sorry you know who you are that recommended it always see you in the comments thank you so I have to give this video shout out to you to you uh let us know what else you guys want us to watch um taking some recommendations uh yeah got a lot more material to come out wrote The Honey K Subs yes sir if you made it this far if you didn't make it this far that means you're a real one so that means we're gonna let you know that our patreon is down below for the rest of the real ones and each you guys have been recommending so many shows we're probably already doing it on on patreon I'll be honest with you guys um so check that down below if you want to if you want to give that a gander um comment if you think so scary looking true and you'll remember put that put her name in the comment section don't do that bro come on

Channel: CityBoy Reactions

Views: 14,880

Keywords: #england, #british, #inbetweeners, #britishsitcom, #sitcom, #inbetweener, #britishcomedy, #comedy, #humor, #funny, #reaction, #hilarious, #darkcomedy, #comedian, #inbetweenersitcom, #8outof10cats, #jimmycarr, #kevinbridges

Id: RD56DbG9K6Y

Length: 18min 22sec (1102 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 28 2023