Rettungswagen hilft Ben aus schwerer Depression

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It is always possible to redefine your concept of life. And you should question it regularly, because otherwise you kind of get stuck . And I believe every person in life is here to have some experience or to grow, to grow personally. Hello, I'm Ben and this is my "big Bärbel" that I'm going to show you today. So here we are in the bedroom. These are my wardrobes or this is my one wardrobe. It's a bit empty because I'm not really living in the bus right now . This is another wardrobe with several compartments. For a second person who travels with you from time to time - or maybe will travel from time to time in the future. Exactly, here is just another little garbage compartment, where just all sorts of things are inside. Medicine, ukulele, books, games, electronics . Here's my laptop. Any outdoor lights, camera and so on. Then I have shoe cabinets here. Outdoor shoes or climbing shoes are usually still included here. Then here are sleeping bags, outdoor things, chairs - you can pull them out at the back. Then I have an outdoor stove, snow chains, binoculars, an inflatable sofa - everything that isn't necessary. Or sometimes. I could use everything. Exactly, this is the sleeping area - this is my bed. This is now a single bed and has a width of 80 cm. I usually sleep on it alone. Then there are also situations where you sleep in pairs or where friends or people are visiting. And there you have the possibility to take it off very easily. I still have some mattress pieces here that are simply put in here . And then boom, you can lie down comfortably here. I think four years ago I had the thought for the first time - during my studies - when I was just writing my master's thesis. That was quite a shitty time, and I wasn't doing so well mentally either. And there were a lot of stress factors that played a role. love stress. Stress with the master's thesis. I had a huge two part experiment to run. And then somehow I had to constantly extend my deadline because I didn't have any other time schedule. And the only thing that made me feel alive was the thought of breaking out somehow. Because I've often been out and about with my backpack - hitchhiked from Istanbul to Germany. Or I did a semester abroad and there was a lot of traveling. Or rode the Trans-Siberian Railway. And those were always moments where I felt totally alive and where I was able to reflect a lot and learned about myself. It was always these moments that made me grow so totally, totally strong . That was also at that moment, so to speak - I felt really bad. Then I went straight into work. I just didn't have any time to drive down. I was just in this stress mode, my body showed it at some point. I then struggled with severe depression and then moved to Berlin. Then it all sucked. Everything sucked for me at that moment. And there was just nothing more positive. And as I said, I always watched videos during my master's thesis and thought: Ah, how cool it would be to just take a bus and surf somehow. Just to be free. Then my illness just got worse and worse. I then also decided to move back home to my parents - because I was really not doing well there at the time. And at the same time had the bus in mind. I also talked to my parents about it, and of course they also tried to build me up mentally and support me. And my family too. And then they said: "You have to get out of here, get a bus. We'll look for a bus, I'll help you find it." That was actually the case. That was somehow my way out of this hole. This was milled in here with a CNC machine. My buddy Patrick Schmidt did that. Many greetings to Patrick Schmidt, who helped me with the expansion . He has a wood factory and I could use the machines there. And he helped me with the brainstorming, with the planning of the bus. These are ultimately the doors of the closet. Here I have another birch branch that is the support. You can use the cupboard as a table. I have a stable table here. I can take my food there. A second person can sit here. Of course, I also have the option of lowering this half here. Of course, that would not work now if the bed is pulled out . Then I can't get this one in here. That's why I still have chains here. They are then attached to these fasteners, hooked in here and then you can have breakfast in bed , for example - when the bed is pulled out. Then the program continues. I also have a birch stick here. Don't forget - this is the bookshelf. Here's another Bluetooth speaker. If I pull out the bed here, it just snaps into place here too. Then I have this birch branch here. It is clamped in here as a support to make the whole thing more stable. Then there's another piece of mattress up here. I'd love to get that out too. Zack. This is then placed on top of this and then I have a huge lying surface 1.36 meters wide. The cool thing is that we built it in such a way that if there are two or three of you lying in here, you can still put your feet in this cut-out. For example, you can hang the laptop here in these elastic bands and then you can watch a film here. I also have a second screen that is hung up here when I'm working. And then you can also make a small cinema out of the bus here. My boss was super human and also said: "Take some time off, reduce your hours and you're always in good hands with us. You're doing a good job." That's why I was able to reduce my working hours and still had a permanent job and was with my parents. Then I looked around for a van. And then I've been flirting with a Mercedes the whole time - with the little snout in front. And then actually wanted a 609D. But then at some point I discovered it. It was even in Thuringia, so my parents live in southern Thuringia. And then I called my dad and he was like, "Yeah, come on, we're going there." That was Schwabhausen. Then we drove to the dealer. Then I saw the bus and then we did a trail loop. and then my father looked at me like this: "Yes, that's a good engine, nice old naturally aspirated diesel." Then I said, "That's him." Then I took it with me. Then I bought it. So under the bed there is a lot of storage space, especially a lot of kites. This is my storage space for my kitesurf gear. All the kite umbrellas are in here, a surfboard - a twin board for kitesurfing. trapeze, bars. Most of it is really kitesurf gear. But also towels, sheets, a volleyball. There 's another tool box over there. There's still a fishing rod in there. It looks messy, but actually it's very tidy. It's all packed away in boxes. Here are spare parts, oil. If something breaks on the way on the bus. A watering can to fill up with water. A didgeridoo is still there and a tent. And the water tank goes in here a little further . It goes under the kitchen. That's 100 liters that fit in there. But mainly this is the storage space for all the kites. Zack. There is also a double bottom here. We installed it firstly so that the bed is higher and there is more storage space under the bed. And then at the same time there is storage space in this false floor. Or you have this floor and at the same time you can simply pull out the double floor here. Theoretically, you can open it completely. And then you get to the chairs here, you can just pull them out here. Then you have another outdoor area for cooking or eating. That's it. In addition, as I said, there is still a lot of storage space hidden here. And among other things, my outdoor shower. My homemade one that I built in Croatia with my buddy Patrick when I lost my shower bag. Here's just a rain pipe, an HTC pipe. It's just a faucet with a garden hose connection. In summer, when the sun is beating down on it, it gets really warm. Then this will be opened and then you can take a shower here. Here at the front is the filler neck, I put a valve on it. I first tried it with pressure, but then I would have had to glue the pipes with a two-component adhesive. And in Croatia it was all a bit complicated, that in the hardware store . That's why I just have this air valve so that the air can flow in. Here is the filler neck. It is simply screwed on and you can simply let water in at the gas station - or wherever you have a water hose. I also got a dog at the time. I had actually designed the expansion for him, also with the space here. So that he has a cave here, a place to sleep. And Soma was his name. I then watched him grow up, and then I expanded the bus at the same time. I also had a lot of support from my buddy Patrick, who owns this wood factory and also had very good ideas. I could just use all the machines, I could put in night shifts - which was super practical . All this against beer payment. In any case, some beer bottles became empty. At some point the two of us drove off . At first I was still struggling with anxiety disorders. It was still so deep inside me. I really have been possessed by these demons for so long. I was still doing therapy at the time when I expanded this bus . Which also helped me a lot to get out of this story. Then at some point I drove off with Soma and somehow everything was just over. The bus was mostly ready, therapy completed. Soma was ready too. He had already listened to the commands very well. She was still young, but somehow it fit, it felt right. Then we drove off and that was actually the really cool time. It was really a super super exciting time, actually complete adventure. We also did a lot - a lot of sports, saw a lot. We had such nice pitches. Actually, I only take it very rarely, but theoretically you could use the one now attached here. I have magnets here. On one side and on the other side. Then, as I said, you can take a nice shower here. That's the one shower option I have. And the other one looks like this: I still have a shower bag on the front. I really have to advertise it all the time. I don't do it now, but from the manufacturer, because I'm really convinced of it. This thing is totally awesome. Then I have a hose here. The thing is super practical, because you can just pump the pressure in here. Then you connect the hose and that's actually what I shower with the most. I also use that for my sports gear, to clean my kites, to clean the boards after a session in the sea. Or just for my bikes. And the only thing missing now is warm water. When it's cold and I want to have a warm shower, I heat the water on my stove. And then just make half cold water and half warm water - then I have a warm shower. So that works too, but it's kind of impractical. It would just be better to have a boiler. The firewood equipment - an axe, a saw and the most important thing - the machete. Where I really had big problems back then in Albania . Thanks again to my ex-girlfriend whose name is very important in Albania and who probably saved me from jail or something. That was a really funny story too. They held me at the border. My dog ​​Soma was there with me. The two border guards, I have to say , that was a bit scary . They peered at the ground with a fag in their mouth. My dog ​​Soma, he just barked the whole time , barked really aggressively. That's when I realized something wasn't right. And then I had to drive into a hall like that and tie it up outside. Then they tore the bus apart. Patrick and I had to completely empty the bus. Then they looked for things. Then one of the border guards discovered my hiking boots and simply put them on - such expensive hiking boots. Patrick, my buddy, was like, "Hey, he's putting your boots on." And then I said, "Hey, what are you doing? Those are my boots, can you go out there, please?" And he said, "No, these are mine." And I'm like, "Okay." I then continued to clear things out here because the other border guard was in my bus. And I kind of had my doubts that he would take things. Then I went in here and Patrick watched the other guys. Then he always found something. Once so long-papers and said: "Oh, big problema Albania, big problema." And then I said: "Okay, I don't have any drugs with me here, you can search everything. In Germany it's not a problem, we smoke tobacco." And he said: "No no, Albania big problema." Then he just put them away. Then he found pepper spray, a little tube like that. And then somehow said again that of course it's a big problem in Albania. And in the meantime the other one put on one of my headlamps and then said: "Ah, that's nice, I need it, thanks, I'll keep it." And I'm like, "No, mine." In any case, it just kept going like this and then at some point he just discovered the machete. And pulls them out like this: "Oh, big problema Albania." And I'm like, "Okay, what's the problem? In Germany it's legal to make firewood like this." And he was like, "No, that's a weapon, you can kill someone." And he just takes it, pulls it out and stops right in front of my neck. Then I was a bit scared, a bit skeptical. In any case, he then put the things on the table and said, "Okay, what do we do with them now?" Then he looked at the boots, the headlamp. Then I was really scared because of the machete, that it's a weapon and I get stressed out somehow. That's a bad thing to judge. And then he just said: "Yes, what do we do with it?" He still checked the IDs. Then I remembered my ex-girlfriend. She said to me, if something happened: "Call me, say my name." They know my family, somehow they have a connection there. Your uncle died there as a martyr for establishing democracy. Somehow they are well known. And then I said: "Okay, I know what we can do now." And then I just said her name, I can call her. Then they looked at each other and called the name that. And then just pushed things back to me and said: "Okay, you can go now." (You can go now.) Then Patrick and I looked at each other like, "Yeah." We were really happy and then drove out of this hall full of self-confidence. That's the story about the machete that just came to mind. Soma was now almost a year old and that happened so quickly when he had this accident. We were in Leonidio and I went to a laundry . I just wanted to drop off my laundry. We stood on the street and I closed the door, rang the bell and nobody opened the door in this laundry. Then I'm back and then I crouched on the bus and then just waited for a moment. Then at some point there was a knock on the door, and the man from the laundry was there. Then he said: "Yes, you can leave your laundry here." I have Soma because it just jumped out every time. He hadn't figured it out yet that he shouldn't. And then I held him tight and then I looked away for a moment and handed out the sack of laundry. Then he just jumped out, straight onto the street. It wasn't a busy street either, but that's when a car just pulled up and hit him. That was very bad. He was still alive and I went straight to the vet. The guy from the laundry drove up and I went to the vet. Then I noticed that something was wrong with his spine - because his front legs were still okay. He kept trying to get up but could n't move his back legs. Then the doctor scanned everything, but couldn't take an X-ray and just said: "It doesn't look bad." Then I just had to put him to sleep. I then drove back to Lenoidio and then we drove up the mountain and then buried him on the mountain. And that was very, very nice - that moment somehow, when the sun rose in the morning. That touched me a lot and it shaped me a lot during the time we had together. It's so crazy because I can get a lot out of it. Also this message that was hidden behind it - and which I gradually recognized or recognize more and more. So crazy , a few months ago, I took ayahuasca from a shaman. And then he said to me: "Ayahuasca is also called "Soma" in the vernacular of shamans." I actually named it Soma based on a Hindu story. I thought it was really nice, I didn't even think about it. But then I also saw and recognized so much on this Ayahuasca trip. And everything was so clear to me - also that he somehow had to go and also took this negative with him. Who got me out of these depths . I'm happy in any case - even if it was only for this short time, if this death or this letting go was so painful. But it really enriched me immensely. And somehow it was part of this trip - even if it was very sad. This is the kitchen. What can I say? Here is a stove - quite normal with two burners. They run on gas. The gas bottle is just under here. It's an old enamel basin from a friend's grandma - converted into a sink. I think it's an old aluminum pipe - converted from the recycling center into a water tap. Then I have a lot of storage space here. These are purchased glasses from the abandoned hotel in Croatia. Here my dad installed a foot switch from a floor lamp. And when I step on it now, it turns on the pump and the water flows out at the top - which is super practical. I had the counter here before and the sink was set further back. Then I redid the countertop. Then I thought: This is super impractical, because you have to constantly turn on the switch somehow and then you lose a lot of water. That's just not very efficient. In addition, you have water stains everywhere. That's why I changed my mind and have now repurposed the bowl. I think it's super practical with this foot switch . Here is a magnetic strip with cutlery, a good Opinel - must be everywhere in every camper. Here are a few boards to snip. Here is another pull-out mirror for women. Here is the fuel gauge from the water tank. This is from an old camper - just runs with resistors that are attached to the water tank. Here I still have two USB sockets. I may not look like it, but I have a degree in business administration. I work for an agency in Berlin and I'm committed to capitalism. No, it's not that bad. I work for an agency, I'm ultimately a marketing strategy consultant. For digital companies. It's pretty interesting what I do. It's very psychological. The team I work in is really great. I'm really happy with that. I also have a lot of creativity in me and I have a lot of energy or a lot of ideas. So when I have projects, such as my apartment that I furnished or the bus. Then I have so much energy and can hardly sleep because I somehow have new ideas and can hardly wait to implement them. I miss that a bit too, also the musical one, because somehow I've always wanted to work in the music industry or do something with music. Then I did an internship for a short time at a big music label. And then I realized that it's actually not that cool. That's how I finance myself right now. I don't work full time either. I wouldn't even want to work full-time anymore. I work 32 hours a week and am relatively independent now within the company. It's a very self-determined way of working, which I also need in order to be happy in some way. As I said - the team is great and my boss, he also agreed that I can always be on the road. And then you can work from the van. I have all the cookware in here. Funnel. As I said, behind this is the gas bottle. Here's my cool box. I can turn it on here with the switch. It's empty now, only schnapps in it. I showed you that before. This is also a very good Scotch from the hotel in Croatia. It's still good, probably 10 or 20 years old. At first I had a chemical toilet, which was then here under this compartment. You can open it here. Then I could pull out that chemical toilet. But I used them so seldom that I thought: Okay, I'd better give them away then. So I gave it to my buddy and instead I built a dry composting toilet. And that's the good bit. Here with the buckle you can empty it. You can pull that out there. That's what it looks like. In the end it's just a bidet, an insert bidet for the toilet bowl. And I just repurposed that, worked on it with a hot air hair dryer and then I glued this edge to the back with epoxy resin and fiberglass. Then there is a silicone insert that is closed. And when you pee in, it opens. So that it doesn't let the smell through. Super practical and is also a small chair or seat. You can then eat when this is undressed and someone else can sit on it. The bus is completely insulated, which is really nice. It's pretty cool in here in the summer, I have to say. It doesn't heat up that quickly. In winter , the heat accumulates here too. I also installed an auxiliary heater here, a 5 kw. As a result , the room here heats up relatively quickly. My buddy Patrick Schmidt designed it. Here it is unfortunately broken, let's take the other side - which looks a bit nicer. This is ultimately all plywood. Third -rate plywood, which is what we used here. Because of the grain, I wanted to have it in, because it just looks organic and simply alive. I just liked it a lot better than the slick plywood most people use. Ultimately, these are individual modules. Many always think that these are individual panels. This is a module and this is a module. This is ultimately a sheet of plywood that has been grooved. So here are different grooves at intervals of 10, I think. And here the groove spacing has been reduced. Then we wet this record, we moistened it. Then we initially - that was the mistake - pressed in the bucks. But then it wasn't enough. That's why it's broken here. And here we did it differently and stuck it in the press. We probably should have moistened that side a bit more to get that bend in, too. It just worked here. And that looks really nice. I just think it's great to use this space, to use this radius. In addition, it is much easier to attach than to screw on individual panels and then somehow still have individual cross braces in there. So if you want to have such modules, then you are welcome to contact me - then I can arrange it. Even if I hadn't had the job back then, I would have gone anyway - even without money. And then my need would have made me inventive. Then I would probably be somewhere else now or something, I have no idea. Of course I have my security now and I'm happy with what I'm doing. But I think everyone often stands in their own way. And just says: "He can't do it or he's just not brave enough." Because we somehow grew up in such a conservative belief - that somehow safety outweighs everything else - which is also good. But I don't think I can cope with these situations, where safety was always the priority. Or when everything was easy, I didn't take much with me. But when it comes to things that are somehow exhausting or difficult or that sometimes hurt - that's what ultimately gets you ahead. And as the saying goes: "Get out of your comfort zone." It's not bullshit, there's really something to it. You just have to pull yourself together, overcome yourself and really get out of this comfort zone. And then you just develop. So you have to do something, you just have to get your ass off. There's no other way. I don't know - I think that's a ladder from the swimming pool here. So here is the solar panel with 270 watts. Here I have handle screws that I can open very easily. Then I can set it up. I installed a joint here on both sides. Then it can be set up, so to speak. This is also a new construction and it's really cool - I 've integrated profiles here. You can take them off. And then you can now fasten it again . And I also have an identical profile right at the front and the hammock can still be hung up there - which is super cool. Or you can also implement the front profile, integrate it further back and then I can hang a pull-up bar there and then do pull-ups. You don't have to be a doctor now or you don't have to somehow fly to Africa with a plane full of food. Of course it would be desirable, but somehow it would be cool if you start with yourself and your environment. And maybe also inspiring for those around him. And become influential in a positive way or in a positive sense. That's why the Dalai Lama, because he just said, "Be yourself the change you wish for in this world." I would just wish that everyone would take a look and also uncover their downsides. And everyone clears up their beliefs, which can also be cross-generational. And doesn't always say: "Yes, I do it that way because I've always done it that way." But the world is also developing. That's where you start. I would like that.
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Channel: Peace Love & Om
Views: 137,796
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Length: 37min 29sec (2249 seconds)
Published: Mon Aug 09 2021
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