All Hallows' Eve Review

ah hello everyone web i'm doug shadow of the united personality best hair and welcome back to the march of the clowns march in any case we'll be reviewing all hallows eve which isn't your traditional horror tale but rather one of those fun little anthology horror movies where several short horror stories are presented with a small narrative thread connecting them all that thread is that these tales are being shown on you guessed it all hallows eve also known as halloween but that name's been taken also these aren't just random horror stories thrown together for the sake of it but they are made by writer director damian leone who is also the creator of art for the clown which he's all involved damien had previously made two short stories both using art the clown the ninth circle in 2008 and a 2011 short terrifier both of those tales are woven into this bone-chilling story of a babysitter haunted by the scariest damn video cassette she's ever seen there's also another story that's kind of shoehorned in that really doesn't have anything to do with art the clown but nevertheless let's take a look at all hallows eve and see if it all comes together the movie opens coincidentally enough on all hallows eve stop me if you've heard this one before but the story focuses on a babysitter who is watching a family's children on halloween this would be sarah played by katie mcguire who is watching tia and timmy played by sidney freehofer and cole mathewson respectively they finished their candy run but not quite done with all the festivities what time is it oh it's 10 15. all right seriously pumpkin carving in 10 minutes i want to get this over with yeah not all that much time left to get that one done i'm sure everyone's gonna love your spooky spooky jack-o'-lanterns on november 1st but what's this one of timmy's treats is a vhs cassette he says he doesn't remember who put it in his bag and it's unmarked let's watch it oh absolutely not why because we got a [ __ ] blu-ray player where the hell are we gonna find a vcr at this time of night timmy insists they must watch it because it may in fact be awesome sarah still refuses so they vote i vote we watch it too [Music] little traitor now you're on his side two against one we win yeah well the council of babysitter has determined that the babysitter officially has won the vote so stuff it it can't be worse than the stuff we see on the internet every day jesus christ you're 10 years old what do you watch on the internet however after timmy says if she lets them watch it the kids will actually carve the pumpkin sarah relents checking what exactly is on it first of course thus begins our first tale of horror in this anthology i don't see anything which youtube is promptly blocked worldwide god damn it eventually the horror show begins and the kids say [ __ ] it and sit down to watch it fine but if it gets out of control i'm turning it off blood guts and graphic sex is fine but if jackie chan shows up i swear to god which begins the ninth circle we are introduced to a lone woman heading home on halloween casey played by kayla leon she's waiting for her train to show up and in doing so find yourself all alone spare for a certain clown art played by mike gianelli who knows the greatest fear of anyone riding public transit is their fellow passengers being loud and obnoxious and sit uncomfortably close but it's all good he offers her a flower however she doesn't much like the bugs inside or being grabbed and drugged by the clown for that matter thus she passes out awakening later to find herself chained up in the dark subway tunnels where am i what's happening would someone talk to me please stop screaming you've just been kidnapped by a deranged clown drugged and bound up with the rest of the prisoners and uh abandoned subway tunnel i mean by horror movie standards is really not that scary yet the other two women who have been here long enough to know that screaming doesn't help anyway would be kristin played by marissa wolfe and sarah played by mina taylor evidently there was another girl earlier but they got pulled down the tunnel by the chains one by one and that's what happened to her casey can hardly believe the horrifying predicament she has found herself in but don't worry sarah is there to calm her down in the face of unavoidable death or is it avoidable casey says they should go down the tunnel and investigate we can't just stay here going into that tunnel is suicide oh and staying here isn't what did you know you didn't see what happened to that girl that's the magic of tell don't show for you kristen describes the incident horrifyingly enough but only to say their best bet is to just wait and hope for the best sarah on the other hand agrees with casey kristen we have to we can't just wait here to see who's gonna [Applause] well i guess we won't have to remember that character's name from here on out calmly strolling down the dark tunnels littered with human bones they find the end of their chains and some handy-dandy big [ __ ] rocks to smash him with ah even better the toxic avenger has come to save the day taxi the chainsaw around their necks it's dark hard to see i know it's even harder when you keep cutting away to the viewers i was just leaves me wondering how horrifying the gore effects really were or goofy leading to the cutaways actually being more effective our helpful hulking monster man cleaves casey's chains so she must run right into a handy-dandy random stranger there's a problem with this plan [Music] that's the thing when you find yourself kidnapped and chained in the lair of culty monster psychopaths chances are the first guy you run into isn't going to be a philanthropist he's going to be a culty monster psychopath and we suddenly teleport to the next scene i'll just assume the vagrant no face had another syringe of knockout juice or something casey has had better days now finding herself strapped into the midst of a monster cult they also have a tied up pregnant woman there played by anna mallory but as you all remember she swore she would turn this off if it got too extreme and as anyone with any sense could easily tell ripping a fetus right out of a pregnant woman's belly is that's nothing isn't it it turns out the sacrificial wound blood is just the opening beverage for [ __ ] satan played by eric diaz who then moves in for the main course casey that was sick okay that is enough for tonight what are you doing i'm turning it off oh thank [ __ ] for a second there i was worried i was gonna have to break out the damn dolls the kids are upset that sarah has decided that something as tame as this is somehow too much for them but props to her for looking out for my youtube channel dan damn sensors keep thinking this [ __ ] is real and it's time for them to go to bed which means it's time for them to fight for no apparent reason what's going on up there [Music] the real mysteries how the hell these kids live in such a giant house yet apparently only have one bathroom so things are winding down however there are strange noises coming from the window little [ __ ] damn kids these days don't their parents teach them nothing you're only supposed to egg the house if they don't give you candy hence the ore in trick or treat things are spooky enough inside though not only is the audio peculiarly loud but the closet door is cracked open don't worry sarah is here to remind us that monsters aren't real except there's a problem with that angle but he wasn't really a monster if you think about it he was just a man in a costume someone like that could really exist your suspension of disbelief shall not be breaking on her watch the clown's only on the video right so if you don't watch it he can't hurt you no no he just can't hurt you period unless we're going by the ring rules here not particularly reassuring so tia decides that she'll feel better if she stays with her [ __ ] brother tonight also after explaining the only way for the clown to hurt you is if you watch the video sarah decides it'd be fun to keep watching that video which introduces our second story of the horror anthology which i can't find a title for not in any trivia listings not on the director's filmography uh this one's just kind of here introducing us to the tale of caroline played by catherine callahan she just moved out of the city with her artist husband and is loving the seclusion and silence of being all alone in an unfamiliar house on a dark and spooky night i'm gonna have to get my hands on one of his paintings before he gets too famous oh i wish you'd buy his latest painting so i can get the hell out of this house he needed his subjects to sit still for hours so he just took his easel down to the goddamn taco bell drive-through actually its precise design has kept a secret for the time being but caroline says it's a very unsettling face that he doesn't even remember painting man that sounds awesome just being able to finish your work without realizing it nevertheless that night as we have established she is all alone the power fluctuates and goes out then [Music] a mysterious light crashes down outside which could be anything from a weather balloon to the origin story of earthworm jim can't live tweet about it though because whatever it was it knocked out the power completely the circuit breaker doesn't do anything to fix it and furthermore are you kidding me you gotta be [ __ ] kidding me come on she comes to the terrifying realization that she is in fact in our movie trying to calm herself down that it's no big deal the fallen object begins to glow as if to say yes i am a big deal so she hides back at her house terrified don't worry she might not be able to call anyone but her husband calls her up only to hear her talking hysterically about how something crashed from the sky the power's out and she is so scared did you call the police i couldn't my phone wasn't working until you called i'll just assume the phone not working is a euphemism for you not knowing to call because i didn't tell you yet and if that doesn't work just drive into town you can stay at the red line until the power comes back on don't give me that just try harder now it's got to be real fun when the slasher villain jumps her and rips her heart out of her chest only for him to look at her and be like get up right on cue the phone dies again and she is sure there is someone in the house with her someone or something introducing a freaky alien played by brandon de spain and what a relief i was really concerned for a second there that the monster in this movie might actually be scary to be fair despite this get up not being the most visually terrifying design i really have to give the actor credit for making something out of nothing here the suit is basic the grey alien mask is an interesting twist on a cliche but the way to spain moves in it makes this section of the movie they just walk around all human-like but no everything they do is odd and for lack of a better word alien she manages to slip away which is pretty much the entirety of the horror in this segment the creepy alien stalks around her empty house while she hides from it unable to escape and not even able to call for help thanks to her phone not working until it suddenly works again at the worst possible time well i guess a minute before or a minute after really wouldn't have made that much difference there so she is attacked once more unable to escape her extraterrestrial abduction and probing specialist with her useless husband on the phone confused and stupid as always ah see this story did involve art the clown there he is right there turns out all this time her husband did the r for the dvd cover of this movie internet film reviewer here it's not about the quality of the movie it's about how many expletives you can string together while describing it that's funny usually the monster from the vhs cassette has to come through the tv screen first she assumes it's the kids messing around but they insist they've just been in bed also she just learned that tia is in here because she's spooked too now your parents are going to be home any minute i want the both of you to go to bed maybe we could stop checking in on us every five minutes what are you talking about but as it turns out she's not the only one seeing and hearing strange things around the house which means either there's a spooky supernatural horror out to get them or the creaky old house noises have really stepped up their game still no reason to check those corners or perhaps get something for self-defense no there's only one thing to do when your anxiety is at a fever pitch and your sense of self-preservation kicks in this is ridiculous i can't convince a little girl not to be scared when i can't even influence myself just watch more scary movies hey whatever doesn't kill you can only make you stronger cinema makes me stronger doesn't it either way this brings us to the final tale in our horror anthology terrifier that is the original terrifier short not the feature film made some years after this this particular flick is a more grind house style presentation with heavy use of warm colors and a downright oppressive film grain effect throughout we are introduced to our protagonist for this story played by marie mazer she's running low so stops at an all-night gas station in the middle of nowhere and when you say it like that it sounds like a bad decision a horror movie character would make but what the [ __ ] else you're supposed to do in your gas tank says he it appears the proprietor of this service station was preoccupied with the antics of a deranged clown seriously you think this is funny you just piss all over the place and smear your [ __ ] on the walls of course it's art the attendant played by michael camille tells the clown in no uncertain terms to gtfo and he eventually leaves allowing the woman to finally get her gas seems she's trying to head to the interstate to get back up to new york after working on her latest movie is there anything i would have seen you in i'm not an actress i'm a costume designer well then i shouldn't be too surprised by your current deer and headlight style of acting so far however before he can finish giving her directions a strange noise arrests his attention this obviously requires investigation investigation that seems to take a damn long time so eventually she has to go up and check on him [Music] either she is very patient or art is really efficient with a hacksaw as the clown cuts off the man's head she flees for her life actually starting her car and driving away as fast as she can and calling for help your car starting was enough of a miracle let's not expect the phones to actually work also it's a supernatural evil as art appears ahead of where she was going so nothing to do but swerve to avoid an accident then just stop dead and be all like nah this isn't real i should just calm down that'll stop the homicidal clown [Applause] well let's be honest he doesn't need supernatural slasher teleportation powers at that point she gave him plenty of time to catch up now she might have that full tank of gas in that working car but ah it's so much better an idea to just stop by the guy with their emergency lights on that'll help or get this they were in need of help hence the emergency lights getting back in her car and fleeing the scene she calls home but her phone dies so that's that ah that's what i like in a good psycho killer variety she bests the saran wrap and runs for her life into the woods and a handy-dandy abandoned shack as you do barring herself inside she finally is safe from the clutches of the killer clown except of course you have to remember clowns aren't above using looney tunes methods of infiltration and art captures her and boy oh boy is this some straight-up torture right here until she stabs him in the eye and the back giving her yet another chance to flee into the night into the car of a random passerby hey are you okay oh yeah sure she just partied really [ __ ] hard this friday night she tries to tell her about the whole killer clown problem she's having but he's skeptical now i'll just need a little proof is all uh yes the the classic clown technique of nine millimeter the car spins out of control and crashes by the time she comes too she is in the lair of the clown and i i i cannot cannot show that where are my dolls thus the horror anthology comes to an end but the story isn't quite over hello yes please you have to help me there's been a murder oh god this is like the seven days except at seven seconds and they've already happened as such the tv turns back on and art the clown arrives to demonstrate that the show is not over well hell if i'm ever gonna use this clip it's gotta be here quick change the channel [Music] then she sees herself and art on the tv in their living room but he's not there in reality but he's there on tv and she definitely removes the vhs destroying it timmy's probably not gonna be happy to hear about that oh my god nah don't worry it's probably some [ __ ] everything is fine ending with the kids pulling each other's hair or something just your imagination been watching too many horror movies [Music] okay no no nevermind they're [ __ ] dead so um anyway that was all hallows eve pretty nice generally i don't care quite as much for horror anthology movies as instead of one great story or potentially great anyway we get three smaller tales that while possible to be very interesting in their own right can only do so much in the 20 or so minutes they get to do it all hallows eve does it well in that the stories themselves do hold up for the most part the middle tail of an alien home invasion is by far the weakest of the three but that's not to say it's without its charm the sense of tension is very high throughout and it really didn't need a whole ton of depth in order to be properly horrifying the opening and closing stories feel like they fit the whole thing a lot more thematically however and of course the manner in which a horror anthology is held together can help make it greater than the sum of its parts in that sense all hallows eve does something the big story about the haunted videotape works ish it's not really something we haven't seen before and the sacrifices made to the tales are evident hard to say the stories flow just as well when a good few scenes aren't displaced with shots of people watching a movie really uh really getting me into the story there but of course you know that i love me a horror story with a tragic ending and boy howdy does this have that not one not two not three but four bad [ __ ] endings more than that i might start thinking it's a bit much might but yeah this is horror because there are horrifying situations that the characters can and will not make it out of at the end of the day all hallows eve is a well done varied work of horror it's got its shortcomings and i will always believe that the middle tale could have been just about anything else and it wouldn't really affect the story all that much at all but the overall package is still very worth checking out for fans of the genre or general moviegoers that want to know what all this hubbub about people dying in horrible ways is all about coming in at four chunks of former friend out of five probably not gonna make anyone's best of lists but that's not to say it doesn't have a delicious sense of dread throughout thank you all for watching i've been decker and remember not every clown is evil that still doesn't mean you should let your guard down [Music] do [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Music] oh and sarah yeah don't get killed vernee

Channel: Decker Shado

Views: 106,726

Keywords: Decker Shado, all hallows' eve, all hallows eve, damien leone, art the clown, horror movie, movie review, review, review (media genre), terrifier

Id: r3JPR2F5--A

Length: 24min 33sec (1473 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 21 2021