Africa: Will You Marry Me? (Full Documentary)

[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] in Africa the woman is not Adam's rib but rather his shoulders and backbone she is the driving force behind survival and represents 80% of the manpower working on the continent on her back rests the weight of raising the children and keeping up traditions [Music] at the epicenter of those carefully preserved traditions we find marriage relations the family even today for the vast majority of African women in both the city and country their greatest dream is to get a good husband and have many children [Music] [Music] Rahil minima is 23 years old and until the age of 16 she lived in her honor a small primarily Muslim city in eastern ethiopia at that age she was to have married an uncle of her father's who according to the dictates of tradition had arranged this marriage when she was still a little girl Rahil never accepted the agreement and when the time for her wedding approached she fled to Addis Ababa where she works in a bar in the city centre at present she is going out with one of the waiters in the bar my man before he come in the house she bring me presenters one day my parents asleep a I get up in the morning I left my home I take a taxi I got a rider at a crane I'm coming up not this I'm terrified so this does it is very big and beautiful I think of myself and I'm free after I have little money I miss girl and in hotel I find a job after I get this restaurant Medicus restaurant we were each other one one one guy one day you asked me to embed to me we go together we make a Russian channel now we have to get that [Music] [Music] I can tell you that she the best thing that ever happened in my life what I like most about her is that her sense of Independence and she's so different from the rest what we know most to give young women you know tend to be submissive to other husbands nobody knows me a condo wherever and for adding country I have a good memories and in Hara like a joke on my friendís I think I come back I go back and harder for me her original catcher I remember my fan my parents I go back in herre I prefer to never not at this at this firm is good [Music] Ethiopia is a Christian island surrounded by Muslim countries her honor is an island within an island a Muslim city set in the center of Ethiopian Christianity but above all Iran is a city on which it is difficult to be in a label it is the fourth holiest city of Islam and within its walls it holds close to 100 mosques the greatest concentration per square kilometer anywhere in the world for centuries Iran was a key point on the trade route between Ethiopia and the Somali coast to safeguard its holiness and commercial supremacy Ferrara was closed to the infidel until 1854 when Richard Burton managed to get inside the walls and spend 10 days in Harar as a guest of the Sultan [Music] there was a curse according to which the city's power would decline from the time of the first Westerners arrival whether by chance or not from that moment it began the slow decline which has kept its Sun amulet as if drugged parar is a devout and ancient city where tradition rejects the pull of modernity a city in which arranged marriages are still an entrenched tradition [Music] I love this I will never allow my daughter to return if anything keeps the family and the community united it is tradition she has betrayed this and made a fool of her family I supported her ever since she was a baby paying her expenses all her life and she ran off with the money I gave her polyworks as a tailor on the streets of the city this is an ancient and highly regarded profession in her honor where it is the men who handle a task which in other cultures is the preserve of women he is also a devout man deeply Muslim the custom of arranged marriage does not originate in the Koran but in kinship needs even older than Islam itself needs and customs which still exist in many corners of Africa the most important thing is that the man should be good to the woman not how the marriage is made of her two sisters one has married of her own accord and the other in the traditional manner both of them are happy I could say much about failed marriages some were for love and others traditional [Music] Rahul's mother work selling chant chant is a stimulant which is taken throughout the Horn of Africa some needed to work better and others to study it is always present at social occasions and at weddings [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Malaka daaaisy Rahil zonko is also an offended groom he didn't like the way rahael ran off and isn't always willing to talk about the matter for me it was a surprise when raha left me from the time she was little I treated her as if she were my daughter her parents agreed to the marriage and the dowry is not small one this marriage was in everyone's interest she won't be able to find what I offered her anywhere a house money a secured life if you like you can ask my wife melaku is a rich trader in the city of Haram his father and grandfather were also traders he belongs to one of the families that made her our a strategic point along the caravan routes which joined the coast of Somalia with the highlands of Ethiopia the same families which for centuries prevented any infidel who might endanger both pocketbook and spirit from entering the city I have never hit her as other men do she goes out with her friends whenever she likes and once for nothing she is everything a woman could want [Music] if it had been my choice I would have let her choose a husband but women can't decide in this matter what Rahel did isn't right but as a mother I want her to come back I hope she comes back we miss her she's a good friend who took part in everything we did she was always making up stories and we had a lot of fun what most hundred women want is to marry a good man who will give them a good dowry love will come with time this is less important the important thing is to make a good marriage I married for love rahael suffered a lot I can't imagine marrying a man I didn't love I would have done the same thing [Music] I don't wish rile Hill but I'm sure that she's not having a good time they're not DS about she had no right to do what she did she had no right nobody knows how painful it is for your daughter to leave home so young a father doesn't forgive her but I do she'll always be my daughter I don't know where she is and I don't want to know you know Japan illustrates this for the dominant is language tremendous I take a course for maybe five finished two years forty plane that's Chi I dream that [Music] while one woman one problem two women two problems that's what some friends say but I have two wives and no problems well me I'm plenty stem units in again mother SIA is my first wife she's the mother of my two children and entity' is my second wife the younger one we've only been married a year and thank God they get along very well [Music] [Music] coño Daaga is a small bozo fishing village in the area of mopti on the banks of the Niger River the Bozo are an anchor for the traditional world of the river and polygamy is a common and deeply entrenched custom among the local population in West Africa 30% of men are polygamists [Applause] [Music] [Music] while yeah and I told her I think the housework is beginning to get too much for you by yourself and the second wife could help you this seemed like a good idea to see if uru began to get dressed topped when he came home from work and spent more time away from home than before I asked him about it and he always told me he was at a friend's house but in the village people said that he was looking for a second wife when he spoke to me directly I told him fine that's okay if it really is for the good of the family and for your happiness it's fine but you have to accept one condition I don't want her to become your favorite and take my place I get along well with my older sister with Bruce first wife I agreed to become the second wife because that's what my parents wanted but I asked him to treat me the same as here without distinguishing between the two of us [Music] [Music] voodoo works building boats this activity keeps almost all the men occupied during the entire morning and brings in the money that sustains the village the wood is obtained from the eucalyptus from the areas south of the Niger there were several underlying reasons that led me to decide to take a second wife there are times when the first wife gets sick or for example when she gave birth you can't sleep with her for at least a year and a half in case she gets pregnant again what do i do then I'm not an adulterer and I don't want to become one the second reason is love which for me is also very important and yes there's something of love in this decision if a man of a certain age takes a second wife the friends his own age will - men are like that they feel inferior if they don't have the same thing as a man next to them [Music] singing accompanies all of the daily chores including gathering the excrement that will be used for fuel SIA and in Paden work together on smoking the fish that food ooh catches they try to accumulate as much as possible so that once a week they can go to market and sell it at first I don't know anything my village is very close by and when Farooq came to talk to my father I'm sure that as soon as he saw me he decided that I would be his second wife I was happy to be the second wife because very often this one is the man's favorites my older sister is very good to me I still don't have children but I take care of Sears as if they were my own [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] Madaba women are persuaded in private the arrival of a second wife makes them demand more from the husband I have to spend double the time I spend on keeping and taught to happy one day to keep see a happy the next day they talk about everything you can't fool them I mean indignant my husband didn't get another wife because he was tired of me on the contrary since then Tata arrived my relationship with flu has gotten better I'm the older sister and it's normal for me to be the husband's favorite Lulu treats SIA very well because she's his first wife but I'm younger and I know that it's me he loves if you ask them I don't know what they'll say but there's no favorite I think they wouldn't like it very much to know that neither one of them is my favorite since the number one woman in my life has always been my mother once a week the five members of the family make a short journey by boat to the city of multi there they sell the fish they have smoked in Africa polygamy is not practiced exclusively by Muslims more than half the polygamous families are Animists or even converted Christians who practice polygamy in secret in many corners of Africa previously because of Wars and today due to emigration there are double the number of women than men of marriage' belaid of these women only 1/3 have gone to school it is normally women who have not received an education who continue to support polygamy however this is not true in the case of mama dowdy I'm in favor of polygamy I'm single for now but if a man tells me he's going to take me for his second or third wife Alice green why refuse busca de la fête member none associated Judy the fact is that in our society men marry two or three or even more women the law prohibits it but it's done it's an opportunity for us single women to get a husband once in monkey food who leaves his two wives alone this is a market where only the women can display their wares [Applause] [Music] my let's see can't clap all of them I'm against polygamy because when I love a man I don't want to share him with anybody bubala farms also too many wives mean lots of expenses if there are two wives for example and one has 10 children and the other 10 more or I have five on the other four that's a lot of expenses don't pourquoi Anupa accepted nepali the Malawian why not accept polygamy if you have a secure life and your marriage is guaranteed if you behave well I'm against it because it creates a lot of problems within the family discord separation of the children all that between the woman there are also problems it can even lead to aggression including the death of one of the wives my fool bit if he wants to spend the night with me and it's not my turn I'll tell him I don't want to the husband has to respect whose turn it is and we do too sometimes Faru skips a turn and comes with me I can't tell him now because he knows perfectly well who he wants to spend the night with [Applause] namsom pammi flynny I'd like both my son and daughter to be like me when they're older we say we want to know what a man is like go to his mother's house and you'll see what he's like [Music] wait yeah are they a CD a muffin potion send massages help the boy they make him stronger and I want him to be stronger than his father how many wives would I like him to have as many as he likes [Music] traditionally and still today polygamy has helped to reduce the number of widows or disowned wives a large family means more mouths to feed but also more manpower for work in addition there is still a firm belief that the young mother should keep her distance from the husband for two years until the child has stopped breastfeeding two years of abstinence which few men can stand [Music] [Music] [Music] the wodaabe are polygamists each man can marry as many wives as his financial situation permits that is the number of cows e owns but this is not what differentiates them from other polygamist societies the difference is that it is the women who choose yes that's right there's only a couple of problems if she decides to leave her family will have to return the cows and the children will continue with father's lineage they belong to him for the wodaabe a beautiful woman must have seven holes in her ears from which they hang seven heavy earrings to enlarge them her cheeks must have been marked by scarification and her limbs should be long and graceful according to them for a man to be attractive he must have a broad forehead a large nose white teeth and eyes and a nice voice [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] during the general festival the men dance dressed up as women while the women decide who they will spend the night or the rest of their days with until the time of marriage Madhavi women enjoy complete sexual freedom which is only restricted from the birth of their first child after marriage they lose this freedom but acquire the right to divorce their husband and return to their mothers can or go with another man without this leading to any rejection from society [Music] Oh God [Music] gives me lungi open the bar [Music] my dream is to get a good husband a husband who doesn't leave men today will go right off with another woman and when they return they start with their stories there's that and the other thing I want a good man a serious and responsible mess I'll be his wife from top to bottom Fanta mehndi is 21 years old and is already one of the favorites to win this year's edition of the beauty contest known in Senegal as Miss young Ghana [Music] this contest which is repeated in several West African countries price is the concept of African beauty a plump woman with a rounded but harmonious figure they also have to be single women the miss young demands represent the traditional concept of an African wife and this contest is the shortest route to getting a good husband [Music] [Applause] [Music] jung-mi is a set of values people should not be mistaken that doesn't mean stout figures it doesn't mean being deformed no that has nothing to do with young gamma is the feminine ideal for us Africans it is harmonious woman with a beautiful figure young gamma is an adult woman who has the whole ensemble first her way of walking up her radiant smile the way she holds her head her clothes her bearing it's got nothing to do with young girls no no a young gamma has a way of dressing she has a way of being and a set of perfumes and accessories which she normally wears the annual miss young gamma contest is a great social event attended by the creme de la creme of Senegalese society it is one of the best occasions to see and be seen before the final contest the organisers seek out contestants for mr. young gamma from all over the country 30 of them participate in the qualifying rounds prior to the final contest Fanta is one of the chosen one young master Hugh you know the philosophy of young gamma is our culture our tradition if you talk to any Senegalese person about this young Gummer there's an immediate reaction they know what you talking the same can't be said for miss Senegal it doesn't reach them it's not culture it doesn't represent the values of our women this this is what's ours [Music] fanta works Monday to Saturday as a cleaning lady in the house of a European diplomat intercom if I have a good husband who can keep me I won't have to work and I don't want to go out to work I have to keep my children my family and my friends Oh leave I can't treat them all and I don't have the money to be with my friends then I'll go to work the first Sunday of each month she and a group of her closest friends get together to draw lots for money which has been provided by the women themselves every month each of the women contributes eight euros and various household products the winner receives a considerable lump sum when one woman wins the prize she can't win again until all the others have done so each month they also leave a small amount to cover unexpected events such as accident or illness in a region where people live from hand to mouth and saving as a utopian concept these groups of women act as real family banks but the meetings are not only financial in nature they are above all a social occasion the perfect excuse to get together each month they're held at a different woman's house and she is obliged to provide food and drink for all the others at the end they sing and dance they are happy because fondue is a favorite to be crowned Miss young Demond in the final to be held the following weekend [Music] many African women treat their skin with chemical products to try to lighten it [Music] the majority of these products are both strong and dangerous the problem melody pigment as your sitter foot problem the problem of skin lightening is not a real problem sometimes if we look at the percentage of women who do it it's very low this doesn't come from Africa the product sold to these women are always products made in Europe or in the United States for them so I'll turn the question around how long will we continue to be the world's trash heap however there are women who don't worry about keeping their natural skin color women like Miriam yellow who tried to break the bonds of tradition I won't accept marriage to someone who makes me stay at home I categorically refuse because I want to be of use I want to move I can't sit still in one place it's impossible when I'm still I go crazy I can't stand it woman is the accompaniment to men women's liberation is not only about going out to work women's liberation is a cliche from the 1970s we have to move on I have songs like tell me which talks about abused woman I ask men why they do these things they have to respect a woman like they respect to mother there are also forced marriages there are people who come from abroad or very rich cousins and the parents give you in marriage without your consent it does a lot of damage to not love someone and marry him and we also have polygon I'm against polygamy I can't stand to have a husband and Sharon it's impossible the African woman is a very vain woman one who spends a lot of time on her personal appearance small cosmetics boutiques are all over the cities and women visit them frequently men are like children when they get home you have to have dinner ready for him you have to be dressed up and play with others you also have to excite them a good sir feel that's what a woman knows that's what she puts on at night this necklace is the young Lily it's what keeps men if you don't want your husband to go off looking for another woman you put this on at night and some underwear like this you see this is what you put on and men like this to be given pleasure and if you don't give them pleasure they'll go off with another woman the day before the big final phantom and the other miss younger male contestants go to the house of mr. in dia for a wardrobe fitting yayyyyy is one of the most famous fashion designers in West Africa his designs combine simplicity and colourfulness from his workshop emerged most of the designs worn by high society Senegalese women for the traditional festivals will be Senegalese women really like to dress well they change every day if they wear a boo-boo today they can't wear the same thing the next day me they like men to say sweet things like dresses and they're like pretty hairstyle today our young people like to wear short clothing not the sake but our tradition is to wear wide proper credit when Mama Fanning iboga all gives me longji coming out opener go - sighs - I wanna hear the bones ikkaku is a mythology coming up opener good elastic shyamala in a onesie [Music] you're new so Michael you got my got bopanna give your time no mama Tech is it that time though no mercy no Jo Jo how much Oh Adam I must have got some you maneuver Sawako leave a gap open the time a young gamma woman must be proper a young gamma woman must know what clothing is a young gamma woman must speak softly must walk slowly [Music] catskil seasons if I move a weapon what can these women have as pleasure in life we offer them the opportunity to feel beautiful to know that they are rejected by society that they are an important element of it [Music] my mama is an amiibo got 700 where mama listening iboga Oh gives me lungi coming up opener go - sighs - I wanna hear the bones iguana I'm very proud to be a woman of my language to be Senegalese it doesn't matter if I win tonight because I enjoy the catwalk I like feeling like a queen give your time to tango no mercy no toto madam I must earn some way less and follow thee ha yeah Papa me papa man ah oui I can add some pharmacy ah yeah Papa Papa mom you time mama is that under Mama's in yoga huh metal atom how much time the Sun the Sun Hung Hom how much time the Sun Hung Hom understand the Sun Hung Hom much time

Channel: New Atlantis Full Documentaries

Views: 4,303,086

Rating: 4.4992805 out of 5

Keywords: Weddings, Women, Villages, Population, Families, Dressmakers, Fabrics, Lake, Workers, Polygamy, Merchants, Holidays, Fishes, Arranged marriages, new Atlantis, documentary, full documentary, Atlantis, planet, planet doc, family, society, son, husband, marriage, jellewery, make up, fashion, perfumes, seduction, ethnic fashion, makeup, dance, dancing, africa, afican woman, women, marry me, marry, Documentary (TV Genre), Culture, Civil, Beauty

Id: aKPgX8sHqEM

Length: 49min 6sec (2946 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 18 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/Tipsy247]

Very good.. ʘ‿ʘ