I don't have time
for this, Adam. It's the 4th of July
and my schedule is packed. (eagle screeches) I've got a car wash
meet-and-greet, a mattress store photo-op,
a hot dog eating contest... (gasps)
And I have to finish writing my big speech
for the Americatown Independence Day Holiday
Blowout Extravaganza! Oh, how exciting.
(chuckles) Everyone's working
really hard to make it great, and no one wants you
to ruin it. Ah, you see them? They're living
the American Dream. Here, a little hard work
can take anyone from rags to riches. I was born with one leg
and no money. But I worked hard. And now, I'm a billionaire! I could buy all the legs
I could ever want. Sorry, Unc, America hardly
has the highest rates of upward social mobility. In a ranking
of 24 countries, we came in 16th. (sad trombone) How can that be? The truth is,
if you're poor in America, no matter how hard
you work, the deck is completely
stacked against you. Being poor in this country is actually incredibly
expensive. (bicycle bell rings) If you're living in poverty, you have to spend more
on daily necessities, 'cause you can't afford
to buy in bulk. (chuckles) Wow, now I can
keep my butt clean in all my vacation homes.
What a deal! You know, if I pull apart
the double ply, it's actually
two for one. What a deal. And if you have
a lower income, you have to spend a larger
portion of your budget on basic necessities. Up to 70%
of a poor American's income is spent on food, housing,
and transportation. After they cover
their basic expenses, on average,
low-income Americans who only make
$15,000 to $20,000 a year are left with just
one dollar a day. No, I shouldn't splurge. And that doesn't just make it
harder to get by day to day. It also makes it harder
to save money so you can live more
comfortably in the future. Well, if people need money, why don't they just apply
for a credit card? Or get a loan--
that's how I paid for my last three wars. Well, that's a great idea. Except that to open
a bank account or credit card,
our financial institutions require that you already
have money or good credit. Wait, so in order
to build credit, I need a credit card,
but I can't get a credit card unless I have good credit? And if you can't save, even a small,
unexpected expense can have disastrous
consequences. Right now,
46% of Americans say they couldn't afford
to pay a surprise bill for just $400. (bicycle bell rings) Oh my God, my bike! That's how I get to work,
and if I can't get to work, then I can't buy
another bike. Curse this vicious cycle! (scoffs)
He seems lazy. (dog barking) The fact is,
poverty in America is almost impossible
to escape without help. No... Johnny Appleseed?
What happened? I got bankrupted
by my medical bills. Turns out an apple a day doesn't keep
the doctor away. This isn't right.
These are Americans. They deserve
the American Dream, not this nightmare. Well, ironically, the reason
they can't achieve that dream is because we all believe
in it too strongly. A survey found
that 70% of Americans believe that poor people can make it out
of poverty on their own. Be the change you wanna see
in your can, my friend. Because we believe
in this myth, we are far less willing
to raise taxes or fund social programs
than other wealthy nations. And as a result, we have
far greater inequality. Right now,
43.1 million Americans live in poverty, while the richest
three Americans have more wealth than
the bottom 160 million combined. (gasps)
We have to fix this! Oh, well, there's a lot
of things that could help-- affordable housing,
free public college. And I know we can do it because we have the best system
of government ever devised, given to us
by the Constitution, the most perfect
founded document the world has ever seen. And we just so happen
to have a copy in the Americatown Museum! Oh, I love museums! But the Constitution
is far from perfect. What?! You can take
that kind of talk to the filthy Commie Museum! You have one
of those, too?! Grr!
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The American dream is just the carrot and fear of homelessness, starvation and death is the stick
People still believe in that?