Adam Buxton - Richard Herring's Leicester Square Theatre Podcast #138

hello and welcome to another exchange that the squares a podcast with Adam Buxton making its third appearance very exciting I'm going to try something a bit different and I've tribe's resisted being sponsored on these podcasts except by idiot to played on the Kickstarter and this isn't exactly a sponsorship because the people I'm recommending don't know I'm doing this but I've recently moved house and I've changed energy company to bulb who are a renewable energy company and they expect two hundred pounds a year less than I've been playing before and loads of their energy is renewable they're really good and I rang up their customer services and they're great and all the other people are with the [ __ ] so I thought I'd recommend bulb if you want to change your energy people plus there is some mercenary points to this as well if you use the code bold Co UK's slash refers last Richard two three four when you're signing up then you'll get a fifty bank credit and I'll get a 50 pound credit and hopefully I'll never have to pay for energy ever again so if you're moving energy anyway check out there's loads of Compassion's light bulb are pretty good there's loads of other ones all the big ones that comes and also because they're not actually sponsoring me if they're [ __ ] I will tell you in another podcast so it's a perfect win-win situation anyways go to Boulder CO UK / refer to last Richard two three four and you can get fifty pounds that I even get big bags of free energy I'm just going to leave my fridge open if it lots of people do it so it could be worth it for that right anyway let's watch the kind of guy who does this sort of thing all the time Adam Buxton on rehearsal Elizabeth [Music] [Music] ladies gentlemen welcome to the left where theater please welcome a man who just paid five P for a twirl effectively yeah find out how it's Ricky very very much welcome welcome to another edition of Richard Herring flexor square their podcast um I was at the Virgin Megastore the other day hanging out playing that Addams Family pinball in the basement some Dutch tourists and those guys called in for supper so I don't catch on and yeah so on my way to the theater this evening I I'm trying to give up chocolate so I stopped up painters and bought a twirl if you note I did see a lot of air in that barely count and so on and there is the bagging area automatic back in area one of those machines and then it's 50 P for a 12 not bad actually I was in WH listen paid 96 p1 for one the other day so don't stop at WX myth that it's my advice to you if you're buying 12 ah and I put my fifty P and I know it's in their little coin rejection thing 40 might be someone else has gone out and paying the changes in which you're in pocketed by favourite well that's how it's done ladies government now but if that someone got taken to court for someone who's been a cash machine the shop and dropped 10 pounds and the person picked up 10 pounds of pot ten thousand were taken to court and they're prosecuted for stealing ten pounds from my person would you know it's a slightly different example that genuinely happen but you know ethically it's a moral made why doesn't I didn't know whose 45p it was you know should I really have gone up to us and there's 45 Figgy there and the coin if someone comes back can you hold this for them give it basically given 45 PT insanely what would you do that's the question what would you do my I kept the money that's what I did in my own thought I'd be twirl enjoyed my five feet work but I'm going to ask Adam boxing around that cuz that's the kind of thing that I think I think he'll have a lot to say about so we plea I've given away given away what's coming up will you please trust even the way that secret against me and I said when you hear your name come on Tom glad that he didn't that's why we please will you please welcome a man I can't remember how I introduced in before what he was best known as before the hope it wasn't this he's probably best known as Louise from take over TV that's why we're here is that above the rice and sit down thank you so much but can't guess our third pond yes you here ever third time yes thank you I'm honored it's a waste when you're the first ever second time gets as well yeah but you did tell me the last time I saw you yeah there's the only other second time guest David Mitchell yeah was funnier overall I think he's they're almost the perfect guest for this podcast he's more or less the perfect guest but more or less any year because he treats me you treat me as an equal he treats me very much as a slightly imperfect five year old child and that is the correct way to answer yes I humbly and I was amazed that the last time you were on was three years ago I know I just can't believe how quickly those three years very different world haha is a simpler time that's incredible I know what have I achieved but I don't even quite know you got a happy that's true yeah yeah it's baseball cap time yeah I've had a few moments recently where I was a saw my head and one time was at the Brixton Academy giving an award to Louis the rule as part of the NME Awards and I turned around first of all I was very nervous about what I was going to say and I overthought that's one of my favorite things to do is overlying that about you a situation I like to overthink everything and so I overthought that and I think I spoke about it on my podcast but I was going to do my Donald Trump joke around like at the beginning of the year when everyone was awards ceremony time and everyone was going on about like we've got to stick together the artistic community and we've got a you know stand up to this kind of thing and I thought it'd be funny to go on and say you know I think it's very important for us all to stick together and just give Donald Trump a chance I think he's got a lot of good ideas and there's no one's really listening to what he has to say and be in quite mean about and so liner wheel so you know if I said that with you guys it would have gone really well but at any enemy Awards I chickened out and in the end I just went for making a joke about how loud it was aware of that he's very loud uh when when um while II was playing my guts were shy and I thought I was gonna do a poo because of the face and all I could see was am ia staring at me and kind of kissing her teeth in her in a way that I didn't think was positive and so then I said or I will hi let's get to the let's get to the nomination I said right because I was so flat you know I was so like rattles I forgot to say nominations all right okay let's take a look at the nomination turn around and for a second before the giant screen cut to the clip package I just saw the back of my head with a huge bald spot and I just thought it's halftime [Music] and more and more whenever I get the opportunity at the halftime now as far as for a while it was my dad's old cat his flat cap so I wore it for sentimental reasons after he died but then I saw a tweet from someone who was saying why can't we it was I can't have exactly what the wording was that the implication was stop pretending that you're wearing a flat cap for any other reason than that you're a UK protest yeah that's sort of nuts all over town that's a shame though isn't it I'm not a you kidding but you live in Norwich actually I think in large colabor that's why I did a lot of these acknowledge also was there remain because I think I was I would I did a joke kidding the my last thought about wherever I was I say I'd say something about how I thought racism was right and everything the court the course of every case then and we're like oh I'd love to go better post brexit and Nora Nora just one of the places that were actually we worked right I think so yeah well I won't do my trump joke there now okay and then I did my Trump joke in in a hundred club it didn't it went badly okay and I just there was a guy there was a period of silence and then a guy at the back after I said oh you've got a lot of good ideas Trump the guy just goes like what and at that point I stood it if I was a very comedian I would have started reeling off some of his ideas and a [ __ ] behind him but I just I just went oh I was joking sometimes that's the only miss one yeah I'm solid oh I wasn't serious I spawned me I think very shortly maybe after that loss [ __ ] I bumped into you in the streets of Norwich I summoned you up yeah we could know here I was walking I went out my uncle to a North Weber year that was and I went out my hotel when I turned up on the town center and I turned the wrong way and I end up doing a massive loop or Ram Norwich I went through this weird really old shopping arcades look like it's in the nineteen and Lee asked where I've it and you know and that was felt like I've gone good night sweet hi Jenny and it's really good that and then I kind of looping around I'm sort of looking at the sky mind trying to spot cathedrals and find my way back and I think I'm lost again and my phone had run our bachelor can check my phone as terrible and suddenly we have lost your own modern world and I wonder if I'll bump into Adam Buxton live in Norwich and literally five seconds later a car pulls in front of me into this the I wash up a carburetor show ya framers shop that's where I get all the pictures of myself frame and I got [ __ ] rude bastard and then I looked and you program and there was a my dungeon atom box come up and he save me said yeah you are hitting me right direction that I found I think I was even thinking of you as well because I maybe I saw a tweet that you were in Norwich er I knew you were doing a show it was very weird yeah I mean I suppose it's not astronomically improbable but that the timing of it was very odd you know what a waste of a coincidence really and I was I was actually a if you'd appeared like an hour earlier you can save me walking around or it just that you've got the wrong way there and be you know if there's someone orchestrating all of this and that seems a very strange use of their power yeah but you don't know there might be some way that it works out there might be a punch line to the whole thing that we're not aware of well we'll see we'll only at the end maybe we'll find out for the end the end of everything yes or will we'll find out there's no punch line and God will just say oh it's just it could be but it was a way of things by still car Carmel III my wife thinks I've weird because like last we're in nor I go to I'm unusual with my wife in Norwich because she's got friends in Norwich and I always get there like well and whenever I contour I only get to a town and then think oh I know someone in this town and then my wife because I've waived because I never then just between you as a do you want to meet up for a drink and I think it's too late to we'll retreat you and I have week up for a drink who do you think's right no you could definitely do it I'll respond - yes meet up for a drink - its I had a great time at wholeness city yeah and there's a guy called Baker Terry who does these he is one of the people that does don't hug me I'm scared of you overs he just moved to Norwich I'd like to find you a social person I'm not I'm dying I'm not so I wasn't well I think women find men strange in that they'll get something go you know someone he wine you ringing them up and talking them so that something up yeah no I die I'm delighted the thing is that I'm delighted whenever I'm on my own yeah I stay with a phone like tonight I'm staying with a friend in London but he's not there and if I if I knew that he was going to be there tonight I would have got a hotel but the thing is that term and that's not because he's one of my oldest friends I loved him dearly but it's just that I value especially when you have a family and there's a lot of people in this area you know you value that time totally alone and when you're on the road like I wouldn't like to be on the road but weeks and weeks that everybody tour like that but if I've got a day or two here or there I'm going to sit on my own and I'm gonna watch a lot of Frank Zappa okay and I'm not gonna have to justify it or I mean I can't quite I don't know if you get this when I'm one so quite a lot of you know a fan or say you believe and when you come and sleep we've got spare room like I'm going to be anywhere fridge off cool we got spare room enough yeah why don't you come and live in a spare room for the month it can I go well didn't you do that once before they turn out to be a weird shrine or my think no that party do it do it has that excuse she did it and then that became Alan Partridge generally happens a steward place we do an and the person it's such an amazing store but I think I've told you before but the person it was a student he went to this place there were posters of that he says himself but apparently lots of other comedians as well on the wall there were people watching Animal Farm the porn version Oh in the in the lounge which is where they said that apparently ever Liza's mattress while we watch quite hard calling it I mean I don't there's any not hardcore and pornography I posed where you just see someone teasing the piece of a big source of Myrna I think all what animal pornography fairly that's fairly full on that's a gap in the market I'm going to get to work because it's smoky ah but later I discovered the students that's do a sense this little boy who bites you back to that was Christine O'Connell the ejected a future teacher that independent self thing there were other it wasn't just but that see it wasn't just do it leaf hosted but that was the impetus that Pete Baymen then took and put that into an Apache girl but I'm Stu wrote a film and a book about and a routine about the pig [ __ ] basically mmm-hmm that wasn't just about that that would be quiet we specific film of a man watching that's just animal pornography we don't need to spend a long time on this but I'm curious to know if have you ever watched porn with a group of people I did when on earth stag night we that week as an ironic joke one of the boys brought along a quite hardcore pornography video this is before the internet really taken off as a as a place where you could watch these things usually and I found it quite embarrassing and slimy I never understood it now you know that's that's Ferb private it's a solo moment yeah lady that's my problem yeah I don't know I think one of the cannot agree that's very embarrassing I was backstage I was difficult with Jessica napat and I was wanted to check something on the image then I realized the thing the thing that comes up first people WWWF s is a pornography site do you not have the economic was disgusting don't you use google chrome happen come on it's not that the whole point is it's got the incognito aka the wonky window and it pops up and it's all grey and it's got a little it's got a little picture of a guy in a trilby with this colorful map with JSON like your spy bit and of course actually the the graphic should just be the same guy but with is not bad and whatever you do in though in the walk within the confines of the wanky window is is not supposedly logged in your history and doesn't pop up but you know it's all really ashamed of it emo I don't I'm not bothered about it am i I think my wife would mind no there's no well I don't know I'm not that pornography in general is it's it's you know it would be better if it didn't exist to engage your imagination well that's true I mean you know and also to remember in the old days when you used to have to occasionally you have to have a wank again where you have to use your imagination and it's very it's a very strange experience but I used to be safe quick the whole time you bring everything afternoon [Applause] now you know I've managed to do it I didn't excuse my brain yeah might be that being old as well have your feelings so if you were essay here to Puckett and I think this is a very Adam Buxton um you know conundrum are you I bought a 12 from Sainsbury's cost fifty Pierre put fifty P in the machine yeah and then as I put the victory and I noticed this 45 P in the coin tray already that someone had gone oh yeah so I got 12 for 5p I like stably and delightedly pocketed the 45 see what would Adam Buxton there now I couldn't see if it's a person they've long gone I don't see that I wasn't like I've seen them not taking then waited and jumped in pocketed it there was no way of finding the person would you keep the 45 piece that's yours yeah that's the bonus yes sir that's a cosmic boner - I mean it's derisory considering all the nightmarish nnessee cosmos is trying to offset yeah instead of saying well you know Isis but 312 only 12 by climate don't even give it you free I'm saying listen I appreciate that it's a horrible horrible stuff going on but look you can have this with five big yeah what about that well you know I would take it yes what if the person then ran back into the shop you've already pocketed the money oh my 45 feet would you just walk away or would you say hey I I would probably give it to them yeah yeah I mean I just feel guilty all the time and I'm worried I'm going to get busted for all sorts of things so I do appreciate an opportunity to be upstanding I get in today I got into a confrontation well after a long period of thinking out I think I'm out of my confrontation phase maybe I'm sort of growing up a little bit I don't know and I was at Cambridge Station at the WH Smiths there getting my 12 and 96 P very expensive gloriousness outrageous well I'm unlikely to get a free one after da I go there all the time is always the same guy there although today there were three serving people behind the counter I don't know if they were trainees or what but they were there in force and I was I'd been asked by my friend that I'm staying with in fact if I could pick up a pack of tobacco and I know what kind of tobacco he likes but I couldn't remember the name comes in a green packet don't remember the name so I went up and I said how can I have a pack of tobacco you know what kind I don't remember then can I just see the tobacco stuff none because they're behind these big black shutters now right yeah let's say you had to be over 18 and like okay can I seriously can I I can't can I just have a quick look and buy the one I want no you can't why's that because it's illegal all right okay but I mean how do I mean you open it when people buy cigarettes though right yeah so if I just say that I'm going to have some moral life then you'll have to open it and give them to me and he was like well do you want some or Veloz is like yes okay can I have a Pakistan right and so the lady who was there you looked furious with me already why talking publicly and she kept on going no it's illegal to us to lose our job now I just want to [ __ ] tobacco and I can't remember the name of so so I go yeah I'm asking more black and by the way I have no intention of buying the Borba likes I said I said oh well then you can't happen right now okay sorry please I would like so she goes up to the she stands in front of the color it's literally loaded as she opens in a crack which didn't grab him and then closed it again does that be 1119 I think if magic wasn't on our tape my mind I don't want them now and she said well you should go I said why can't I just see what I'm buying and the things the thing that was winding me up was how they were just falling back on saying it's the rules if the rule will get arrested obviously I knew that there was some goofy rule about you can't display them openly for underage people you have to be over 18 but I've since checked the actual ruling if you are over 18 of course you can [ __ ] looking thanks for clearing your [ __ ] buying but you have to be over 18 Jesus criminy what if they're digging in so hard I'm just saying no no it's illegal do you want us to pay a thousand-pound fine to lose our jobs right whether we work just explain to me I wanted to I wanted them to be able to say like and what the reason for the rule was so that I could say yes you're protecting children with this rule clearly I'm over 18 so we never got to that point and instead I got my phone out and I started recording [Music] because I thought long aside and I might be fun to the podcast or something so I got out my phone and I started pressing record later and the the three of them were staring at me by that time this lady was getting really upset and by the way I'd be scrupulously polite no swearing no no you know may calling so it's pretty great from buckling and it's not I start recording on my phone I start saying right so here at Cambridge station and I try to fight this tobacco I can't remember the name of it but they won't let me look in the cupboard and at that point the woman just runs off to the corridor like behind the stockroom grabs the phone off the wall and goes give me the police I need to believe there's a very disruptive customer in the shop he's causing all kinds of trouble and then one of the other shop assistants that are runs over to goes oh I don't think we need we've got a pink Brompton and I was saying right the way through like I'm not trying to wide you guys up I really know I just wish human being silly I thought we're all grown-up people yeah and you're just you just sort of mouthing these rules is it okay and you're not thinking about why they're there and what the reason for them is you know there's no children even in this shop it is madness and the weird thing is that at the end of it you know you're it's madness anyway because you're buying tobacco and that's madness actually for retirement as well isn't it to hasten your own demise and I just thought it's everything's [ __ ] madness there's no way we can survive but that was Cambridge you wouldn't happen it would happen in London London is six ago he said but for me those moments of fuel poverty for me that's government something when it has for me it's gold dust I was before the shows I've talked about a fight that had were not just the pressure being 40 and you know it meant I had 15 minutes for this show that was about to go straightaway and that story that Mitra defend that's a that's a complete routine I had an I had a contact with a postman that we talked about thinking that quite recently the podcast let me go through the whole thing again but I was actually quite pleased with it was text almost 10 years to the latest had this proper fight for someone yeah he was very angry mixed up posted to many Kickstarter awards into other post boxes and then I went up to the third can you put these in the van even now I can put them in the van you yeah such a selfish man he was furious of me and we had about 10 minutes just quite heated discussion but by the end of it we were sort of friends and it felt like I should be that I'm sorry we've made each other laugh a little bit he was quite a cool nice guy and I realized I was caught but not really that's a good thing that really I can't win then I walked away and actually felt that I was safe people earlier that punching someone the face feels amazing but actually walking away from that thinking I'll actually had a proper fight I will be the first there was that tool no we had a proper argument right we we went we both went away from it like okay we're okay with it there was no physical there was no physical bite it was very interesting that he was solving the right excited that I'm going to open one of these and find out your name and I'm going to get to find you guys to pay for this and that's the problem I'm not paid 500 words the postage was that not the payment put this in the post box so you know it is when you get those those two things colliding and they're in a bad mood and you know ice literally ruin his day by filling four post boxes with their emergency question kickstart books and so but if it's not good that story so now I'm going to pretend that but I know but I I wish I wish that we had made friends at the end I even went up to the guy as I was leaving the store realizing because he we went off to help our customer with some water that wasn't included in the meal deal and I thought I don't know I see this guy all the time this is nice you know it's dark so I went up now but maybe he make it they just were irritated by me I don't know what but I went up my said listen I'm really sorry I wasn't trying to like why did you happen to say well I know but there's no answer to it really you're going to have to get in contact with the government benefit you know so it's a very unusual thing when somebody resolves and you both more or less feel you know because people Behar both clutches doesn't leave people in a favor yeah man like you know so that's all the happening politics now I was saying in the in the last week possible but they're much better already subtly but they you know but tweeted things about the Labour Party six weeks ago and then people have waited six weeks coming up now are you going to eat your words now on in it they've just delighted not going yet but nobody could have really foreseen this six weeks ago so if you if you did you were insane six weeks ago and I'm also delighted upon that's one plugs up but it's sort of the way that people will hold on to something and want to you know it's very difficult let things go so it's nice to might story that and you attempted to let that go yeah so and you dumbass nothing so no I mean it was weird because usually I'm much more in the wrong than that yeah but it was weird this time I like the ones when you're in the wrong with the most are guard and they like the I talked on my on their six music show years ago in fact it was one of the anecdotes where things got very frosty in the studio because Joe didn't know he felt it made him uncomfortable because it was it reflected very badly on me so he then felt that it reflected badly on him by proxy so he was just squirming any like this is no good for anyone this story and then our producer James sterling I eaten not to do the cup gesture but it was he was reaching for it and it was basically about me getting a ticket when I still lived in London and I it was we were in the process of moving out of London so we no longer had residents parking I had a book of of temporary parking permits yeah and so every time I got to the house because we were I was very gradually moving all my stuff out there every time I drove the car to the house I'd have to run into the house grab a permit obviously the most sensible thing would have been to keep them in the car but I would never remember so I had to run into the house grab a plum in stay here in the car and one time I did it and in the space literally thirty seconds of me running into the house and grabbing a permit I got a ticket and I just [ __ ] lost it and said and just when you are making things worse in the world you know I all the cliches all the pathetic small man things to save someone who was just trying to do his job I went for every single one and then at a certain point out of sheer desperation latched on to the fact that at one point this guy who was you know weathering all my nonsense just went after one particularly bad point that I made he said [ __ ] please and he was a person of color okay so he felt within his rights to use that expression here but I I said how yeah that is utterly unacceptable and that is the most offensive thing I have ever heard I am going to report you you can't use language like that and I just went for that milked it rated and then and then I ended up stomping down the street filming him on my phone and then he called the cops and then at that point I could please beat them I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm having a bit of a breakdown and and then we had the same sort of thing that you described where we ended up shaking hands and he actually said to me like a film you know I think it was like different circumstances we could probably go and yeah it was quite it was quite beautiful but only after it only after something that was really grotesque yeah and and sort of let you let me feeling insane and frightened for myself yeah I mean that you know it's a thrilling thing when were like over spilled in that way and you lose your feel alive yeah I'm gonna do it with my wife all the time I'm always arguing with my wife yeah are you good at the apology section ugh no I just go and salt until cheese okay I thought we'd establish a moment because they said so yeah so but you exactly have a confidant in real life with someone is but I think as you get older I think it becomes you know I don't in a way not true though because a lot of old people are the worst of it only yeah by the way I'm shocked that I actually use that expression I in the past I've told that story obviously when I told her on 6 music I said n-word yeah but it's been so long it's such it's it's such a shocking word ah there's terrible it would have been the wrong decision to use it on 6 News but it was I bet paste on six music and they do may nearly shut the station down I Drive I drop the coffee on myself and you know and weave and somehow and then it looks like I pissed myself I think if I said really yeah and then I had to do an apology states had to apologize and there was quite a quite a big - huh that's bad yeah it was never it was always uncomfortable whenever things like that happen everyone got so I think six meters over anything go meanest pieces you would big it's not about rock and roll who's listening I mean it's people who listen to naughty music with swearing let's have a look at what I give up well let's talk about your podcast you came up this good idea of interviewing her comedian celebrities intended to quite a success yeah award-winning yeah we've had we've had amazing guests on there we had rich herring Scroobius pip I'm basically just going to realtor a load of people who we're on your podcast where that's the way well I just have you've had look it's been a bit of bit of both and you plans to get some people that I was but I think was the nice thing about your one I think is that you go where they are yeah rather than saying you have to come here and a lot of people get put off by the idea you can understand I mean that would be some of those people who were literally within they could spit at you here on a throne throw the excrement and they have done that many occasions so it's good that's quite an intimidating thing for indeed so like Michael Palin who I would my absolute dream yes that you got it's a beautiful I'm you know I don't think I could do anything approaching what you did with Michael Palin I would have been keen to hear who would have been in his human sense I happily I think the front ones the people I mean or of I find it very difficult to today to do that but also to resist the kritis leader tarsem the most inappropriate exactly just knowing it will ruin everything you know you've built up a nice day and let me fill up nice with my microphone you've talked about the death of your father within is the illness of his friend yeah and then you go have you ever tried to start your own because why would you but it's but ultimately that is the right thing I do that's why your podcast and very funny and good and I've listened to more episodes of your podcast than any other and like them like I listened to many other podcasts but you go through phases with them you know you fall in and out of love with them and I don't think I've ever really fallen out of love with yours and I'm constantly surprised by who sir what's the name of the direct hero yogurt on amazing amazing and I was thinking like what are the podcast would be like this this combination of surprising interesting funny weird spontaneous stuff was it was brilliant an eye-opener so listeners if you haven't heard that one whichever so did it Oh got notes about 30 years Tom get on it done really great because I didn't know about her and I just know you do you mean you have a nice mix rhyme and I think it's interesting I think both of us of doing something we enjoy doing it yes it's such a pleasure doing this show like I was just saying like that back they jump in here is such nearly always just incredibly good fun so it's a lovely job to do and we're both creating the world that our own world of we're in charge of that world in both the things we do I did it says and UK monitor though I'll do that then win all the awards then I managed to somehow transfer into getting onto TV as well and I did that so I've been banned I'm ahead of it and my head in a jar him and you yeah you are Crystal Maze we had yeah how was that have you recorded those already yeah I mean that was for not very strenuous day's work it's like you know in future Armour they have their heads in the jars same sort of thing they've got a future zone in this reboot of the Crystal Maze hosted by Richard ard and I am the head in the jar they haven't even bothered to make it look as if my head is floating in a jar it's clearly nothing guy with his head stuck to a jar and also also they designed it so that it looked okay from a certain camera position but actually when you go behind the the sentence that your head through it's unbelievably uncomfortable and you're in this in a precarious position and they put out a couple of pillows or something but depending on how long and I give riddles to the people who go in there I get the riddle right they get a crystal and depending on how long it took them to do the riddles I was sometimes stuck in this like really difficult position trying to hold my head up through this hole about 15 minutes and you know I'm nearly 50 but oh my god get pins and needles in my legs I wouldn't really be able to walk when when I share a meal to this fish yeah oh man it was very most of the riddles they didn't get right at all and I saw like oh this is weird why isn't it this should be easier I thought these riddles were quite easy I retooled some of them to try and make them more accessible but it was good fun that was gay they built that massive great set out there in Bristol a trek to the bottle yard or whatever it's called it's huge Studios out there and it looks magnificent Richard is very funny I really had to do about 50 20 minutes of work a day and that was it they had good Wi-Fi in the dressing room so - fun it's very exciting and well you got to get you into America as well with you with your podcast yeah I did I did so Howie how you funding all of this are you doing this all you managed to do this through this well ship yeah yeah so it's good old Squarespace yeah we're with the podcasting world SP whether I turned them down yeah well you I mean you don't do any answer I don't weirdly on this one I've done which I meant after that in fact they are you do sort of well I oppose this I mean I'm done the thing as if you were watching the beginning I've changed energy providers you might make Melvin is oh yeah yeah and so now we're competing on this but I think that quite good and they haven't I haven't asked me to sponsor today so I thought I just mentioned they were good then also if you give a code out and people want to change their enterprise to that they get a fixed background I get a 50 bank credit and I hopefully never have to pay for energy ever again right well they supposedly have a sequence renewable energy and they're one of those a cheaper is currently cheaper but also by not by they're not paying me and I can if they're [ __ ] I can the next podcast go in there does everything they were they were offered the 50 cap we we tried to switch the bulb there arm but we weren't eligible because we're out in a part of the country and our meter system is compatible so I'm still planning a pretty [ __ ] nothing yeah but no yeah the sponsorship is good I mean I every now and again I will come across that Bill Hicks routine where he's just going on about Jay Leno doing Doritos ads or whatever and saying you know Gary if you do an ad you're off the artistic role here for life no exceptions well maybe Willie Nelson but and it always chasing me and makes me feel a little bit queasy but then I just think wow bill to different world now the podcast model and the funding model wasn't something that makes was familiar with I'm sure he was I'm sure he wouldn't have done that routine of Squarespace have been around but if you're using that money to go and do podcast elsewhere yeah you know here's the thing right I'll because I do think about crowdfunding and patreon and things like that but how does it work we do I would state that if that was my only funding model source of income whatever to cover costs for the podcast I would feel that I had to put all that money in a pot and I wasn't allowed to touch it for anything other than the podcast yeah yeah that's the deal right yeah it sort of is it becomes complicated by the fact that like kick start doing the kick start actually much more complicated than doing the show right so Chris Evans on that one basically works for about two months for building all these pledges and do all this stuff that's the thing though you can't just go a trick in with I was very much like no all the money goes back into progress but you're paying people to do the jobs that they're doing so you know I think I think the ice I think with this and what I'm trying to do with this is get one to give me a pound a month or buy it if everyone who listened to the podcast brought my emergency questions but from go faster strike calm yeah at ten pounds each that week two million pounds I would have so then I think I could do some exciting stuff and you know that I think that the money from that doesn't go back into making more vodka and that doesn't seem like that much to ask relief you'd like a 350 pod cups I'm and still get a book about questions that will be an interesting in a the focus anyway are emergency questions but now it's open to page 60 first question are you a racist thank you then it says underneath and be they'll probably say know where you might catch one out okay I'll buy ya okay I'll give you one for free but yeah yeah that was the thing though because I was I suddenly got into this scenario with like well if the podcast goes well and it is I do enjoy doing it but it is very time-consuming and easily every other thing that I have in my stupid career may fall away and then I'm not allowed to use any of the money that I'm generating from this thing other than for more episodes of the podcast yeah so if one of my family gets terminally ill and I need to get a bit of extra it'll obligate thing and I think it comes from something English or British embarrassment and we you know I'm not when I start off I was a I wasn't charging anyone anything for any of the vodka identified well if we charge people then we might be able do more interesting stuff and bigger bigger shows and you know not going by if I could raise a huge amount of money it would be like let's make a film let's make a tick on this unit so it's all to make more stuff but I was actual on the panel with Roman miles who's a big American podcaster and he was on on the screen and he couldn't believe that I wasn't taking any it's all for myself of it so I think there but but with me it works because people come to see my tour yeah and you'll come see the show and I get some of the money from the audience here and so you know if it does it does become a way of making some money but it you know I think it it's interesting but I also think you saw probably have to do yes think of some way to do it a lot of people come to me and ask about Kickstarter's and you go think the reason why Kickstarter's have worked is because I gave five years of free stuff or you know I give a lot of free stuff yeah give quite good rewards so people do happy to do it every now and again but it's you know it's quite a complicated way of it really is I mean I I like I justify it for myself by keeping my ads fairly short there are beginning generally they're funny I saw you doing I tried of making fun unfortunately my lack of musical skills means that more or less all my songs and no it's extremely good has the has your relation with Rolf Harris going I always turn I check him every four years dated he well I doubt if he's out now and I think he was found remarkably innocent over the last I think I believe this what happened the last time at least not guilty ruffle good me out so I think he's at you that he's out but then you know I think your name has been tarnished yeah yeah I think you won't be drawing a portrait of the Queen again was he I've got to find out about it hey I'll tell you one thing I was going to ask you about about like stories and things that you're not quite clear on you need to look up is you know you've mentioned a few times on this podcast why is it that Kevin Bacon did those yes so do you know the art I do know the answers we write help me every time I mentioned I don't I thought it really not CDs caught up in the pond CCI wouldn't pronounce it pond spunky and emphasizes edge to take on me on to the end but I still only Madoff is the person that came over here yes but I would still argue that he's probably making enough money by the way and it's other ways to make money I mean would have probably got all that back and he's still carrying on dressed up Winfrey and it's [ __ ] I mean I do i I used to really have a be Bill Hicks without use of them and I'm really not mad because I think anything you do it you could say you know you know you're doing if you're doing a show on any commercial channel you're funded by advertising yeah you know and you know everything that we're selling something I mean it smelling it felt yeah very rarely occasionally I'll find myself reading YouTube comments for this and that clip from the BBC or whatever and the arguments ranging under there between people who are convinced that the BBC is just a bastion of left-wing bias and then other just as many people who say that they're all right wing as they're all fascists and you know it's yeah you can't win that you come with with a large corporation that's going to be unpleasant aspects about them and that's why I stick to vegetarian shoes that's it that's my sponsor but I also think it's having is a slight patronizing attitude towards the public which i think is a problem with a lot of these things so all the thing with the Daily Mail and the the Sun we're going all that they're polluting people's minds Olympics they're brainwashing and then nobody broke in and everyone votes against what the yelling when the Sun set in their case and I don't think people like not only people are listening to you going Oh Adam Pakistan just mentioned Squarespace I'd better build my own website because Adam for I love Adam Buxton and they'll be cross with me if I don't build it if you live that you know I want to put also a website and I want ten pounds off or ten percent off or whatever it is but yeah go for it yeah if you don't let it space versus pay for everything else like I think not only people are stupid people rip watch advert and know that there's a lot of [ __ ] on the depths of my Bill Hicks induced anxiety one time I made it I went and research all the people I respect you've done advert to try and cheer myself up make myself feel like a bomb Sylvia for David Lynch he's done alone every year with that so I'm not surprised me miss San Playstation adidas Japanese Georgia coffee with car McLaughlin as a Twin Peaks guy yeah alka-seltzer Rene Magritte his clients were in Belton bookshops a doula and Alfa Romeo Ridley Scott obviously Salvador Dali Andy Warhol Michelle country they've all done it yeah anyway um yeah lower let's sell us I'll ask you Ellis are pickin emerges question users for them but I was still hit by the death of Roger Moore that's not the emergency question I felt sad about it it wasn't it was not bowing proportional you meant you interviewed him didn't you Roger Moore you and me yes well judge Joe was the big Roger more obsessive and Joe sort of froze up with excitement at having Sir Roger there in the studio we didn't really have guests on our six music show so it was very ugly but he was really charming really sweet and like responded the nicest possible way you could in that sort of situation he wasn't practicing at all he was just unruffled and you know he's lovely he was uh but um which was your favorite McWhirter twin rocks right there which one which one got killed Ross was the one who was murdered by the RA and live oak bed now right I heard stories about Norris McWhirter they used to he was they were I mean they were quite unpleasant right-wing gentlemen both of them and Norris was especially of that persuasion really as someone who worked on record-breakers told me they used to deliberately surround him with as many children from ethnic by night as they could it all fits their notice perspective because it seems strange that Roy castle would hang out it yeah he couldn't have been like well the thing with them at work twins they no one else could do that job could they because they learned the [ __ ] book right so you know they were in they didn't matter what they thought no one could step in yeah couldn't go oh I did a good noise when you told me that he'd been killed by the IRA that's my atrocity noise forever I hear some new horrible attack what is your favorite fraction hey can I ask what yours is first um I quite like 3/8 I would say me I like 2/3 yeah good because that's probably where I'm at in my life yeah if I'm lucky when I start whether I'm turning 50 in one month from the date of this recording yes and you are if you just turned 48 I think you should just at that's right yeah yeah so if you're feeling the approach of 50 are you going to say the side yes would be the answer to that no I am I am um I think fairly yeah I've been working on about it too a lot of my guests on the podcast but yes since my dad died it's just all completely crashed down on me the whole mortality yeah I think your dad was pretty old man yeah but I was cheering myself up with that back and thinking and kind of thinking oh yeah my dad he lived to a ninety one nearly 92 I'm gonna live to 91 nearly 92 I don't take care of myself the way that my dad I mean my dad was you know he wasn't like a model of super fitness or anything but he did like smoke right the way through the Second World War and drink booze a great deal through the rest of his life and you know so I was hopeful but then everyone I've spoken to since then has been like a close friend of mine we were talking about this the other day and he said 17 probably 70 years you know Anna and I always looked through the obituaries and stuff and there's a lot of 70s there are yeah there was a lot 68 70 is I think that's the age for our generation that's projected curtains right especially I'm still 20 years 20 to 20 I mean I know nothing me I mean it's like unbelievable three years ago when I would lecture said that with a clean margin so like it and if that could have been if you told me what six months ago I believed you you know it was very fresh in my mind but yet for those three years going very fast it's that's going 10 years in sort you know 40 was a big deal I'm not that worried about 50 I mean I'm slightly worried about those I'm slightly worried yeah well when did you have you had a crisis all right yeah but I think 40 I was fairly how did it manifest itself well I was single so was I was getting drunk and hanging around with the people in their twenties and fighting university lecturers I was really I'm loving I was I was counting down the days how he's making university like I had a fight with a university collection of my fist fight that I had when I was born I was it about me no it was about him he pitted an appalling dick basically anything and gone to noggin with some young women by pretending aspect with as though one of the by one or two if I got lucky but and and then if any got violent towards them and then he was dragged out the bum then he waited outside the bars and then launched himself at me and I would usually any other time I would have walked away from it but I was just complete and I hoped he did did he what did he go for so he turns this girl he tried to take the girls out there all his friends dragged him out he's a CAD he was over anything you know then it turned out as a university lecturer after all this which is kind of evil I wasn't what did he lecture him I don't know I think I didn't meet someone it was a very complicated make someone think you knew him it was again it was about it was all came I saw the race thing as well with the girl he was this girl I was with the taken dislike to him we were having a conversation about big brother and it was a week where the name said the N word that you said it right and I would never say and and so we were having that discussion about rate she was a she thought racism was funny because it was so ridiculous but being racist was ridiculous so she found it funny I said yeah probably don't ever say that out loud again we're talking about but then this this guy's gave his business card to this girl he fences and she handed it around and this girl started ripping off this guy's business card which was a hard thing to do and he said why did you do that and she said it's because I am a racist and which didn't make much as to me he was he was white and she was last a metal karate and they went my wife is black and then went and then flew into a tizzy I don't understand why that really makes any difference and also why was he chatting up that girl giving her equivalence cuff so I think having met some people I think he was sort of lying he wasn't he had to he had a friend who was black or some guys but that's exactly the kind of night that I do not miss yeah that's the sort of thing that marriage cure yeah or lease is supposed to well you I'm delighted I mean I was surely after that within a few months had met my wife and everything changed for the better and that was so I had is that was a very stabilizing influence alien you know and save me really I think if it hadn't had that happen I mean I think it would have happened somehow you know someone with them so maybe it fell in love with me but you know I think if it happened I would have been screwed yeah because I would just been carrying on drinking and it was already getting to the point where we now at fifty the idea of spending at night drinking with someone who's 22 seems insane like like we're on two different such different continents that that just you know and certainly in a romantic way it's probably on in context yeah but therefore - you know it felt sort of weird and a bit wrong but just about acceptable so it's you know there's a big change in those 10 years but those 10 years have gotten so fast so that's the scary I mean a lots happened and lots of great stuff happens but it's but then that's the thing going ten years - I said I mean if you die in your fifties Google gardeners may be dying your 60s real good yeah he had his child oh you know I'm 11 I'm 10 years 2 months or 10 years a month or the day away from being much expected so you know that's the best kind of Terror and my kids will be teenagers I'm as I've you coping with that which will be which will be another story did interpret do you hate hearing people talk about it I mean I I like it Bob like so I really talk about my wife won't let me talk about him of the boys talking oh really yeah I'm always thinking that that what she should do if I die and I'm always working out what we should do if there's a terrorist attack where we are and I'm always giving her advice about what she was doing that sounds sensible very sensible and I'm ready to chuck myself I'm basically as terrible as all that London Bridge that obviously was the stories you get of the guys who stood up to that are just phenomenal I know when you think about it they have took this from their view they have bombs on them naval word going and confronting them so I would hope that you know you would be in the base so moving and incredible those those guys I know and in America as well like a [ __ ] white supremacist white on the train and those two guys oh yeah went for it we've got killed for their trouble awful yeah I probably wouldn't I don't think I love my own I don't think I would I mean I'd wait and see if there was absolutely no one else yeah then I would say listen you should stop there and I'm going to get my phone out and start recording this good chances given that net podcast so think about that I don't want to have to tell you again okay well we're perhaps not ik I would say I took my daughter's little Jim the other I want to talk to you about this and see whether how you feel about it I took my daughter little Jim and which is they do climbing up all right it's another pirate no they do it they do five dressed as one leave immediately ten total gettin well you know I'm most there's lots of different ages there yeah that's right I'm an older dad and I'm going to the young daughter there was a guy who's a very tall very athletic man he's probably six foot five and he had a three year old Southern say and he was throwing her in the air but not just throwing him in the air he was throwing them so the roof was twice closet and he was throwing him so he was nearly touching the roof ah I've been catching him and my daughter looks at me yeah II know you really wanted she's very adventurous so I threw her like my hand yes tiny little bit I mean I'm a shorter man and you're a shorter man and I'm we're older men and I haven't got a younger kids with you do but it's did you to look at taller men my dad think you know would you like that or do you have it we may have a complex about the warnings winter conflict about make sure I count myself Oh wonders if you have a kid no I don't really have it I don't think that was fit on went home that'll be fine I don't have it anymore because there's other things to worry about yeah you know there's more urgent problems when you look in the mirror these days then just not saying you one but you know the folds the folds and muscling the rippling but yes I used to I used to have a massive complex about it and I think you are a lot of your friends talk I mean no that's a marble or not most of mine are and you might very lanky friendiy yeah lanky friends my wife is considerably taller than I am and you know it doesn't take a genius to realize that I've got the complex fat old man because I do think I mean I think most of the studies have shown that like for example CEOs people in positions of power tend to be taller there are always exceptions that prove the rule of Napoleon II was that early on is the one that people have maybe wasn't as well Adam Ant used to cheer me up when I was he was diminutive but then he went crazy you guys haha throwing things to shop windows so let's all that but know it would obviously be nicer to be a bit taller and to have some easy charisma I mean where would it go over what kind of you know the only good thing about would you be whoa I don't know I mean I'd probably be awful but it would be fun all those tall people they are quite arrogant there and haughty yeah and also they pay for it when they're traveling they're often uncomfortable yes so buckle it's first-class wherever I go I'm like Ronnie Corbett and the big chair so that's nice and I've done generally comfortable in bed and things like that I'd rather be witty and clever than I mean it'd be nice to be both I think with if you had to choose between the two it's nice to be witty isn't it than be strapping and throwing a child to the brief and I don't think it I couldn't have given him much it's the coming of you that situation have I gone up and said my daughter would really like to be thrown into the room I can't do it can you do it that's a very different thing because if he joins in kills his own kid you know he's in trouble with his wife but it's okay if you drop my car that doesn't that's another we drop a charge don't know why bro I mean like [ __ ] hell I mean I know I'm so I'm so timid really I'm getting best as my daughter so adventures that she's making me more adventurous but the idea of the risk involved and Lipson thrown at him six feet above no it's appalling well you and I spoke about this on on my podcast but that weird vertiginous thing that you get of imagining all the terrible things especially when they're very yeah yeah that's right oh it's awful and I'm so glad a magnaphone now they're just responsible for themselves although now quickly you know they're getting into clearly finding me tiresome so that's the whole of a sad stage that I'm gonna have to go through my son turned into a kind of vinyl snob right so he's now going and buying with his pocket money and then just getting my wife to buy for him all these records on vinyl but I already have on CDs turning his nose up at the biggest fun though so you saw trucks and finally things he's like a proper creepy old vinyl shop and so he but he's too timid to ask for what he wants in the record shop in Norwich so my wife has the garden sake having excuse me and do you have any earlier text win or any Hannibal Auto Bob or business any yearly driven days my son kind of wrap hangs out the back of the shop which is bad I shouldn't be talking but is it's quite nice though I do it's nice to bother them over that stuff yeah it it's nice I mean there's more good days and bad days being a dad but it is scary sometimes yeah when you just think about what a stupid person I am and oh dear shocking I think I think you really must be an amazing dad you must be like no because I'm so ignorant that's good no no that's what you wanted a dance yeah I suppose they're not going to feel intimidated by me intellectually they speak but my my jobs already a grown my sense of humor so on my family so I'm hoping she'll come back but I now get a bit a bit of time with her but she's cheeky do you think I'm an idiot yeah is she doing jokes still yes well she saved is another because she sort of does little funny things and I think she is very funny she was messing around with a jigsaw and putting the jigsaw piece of delivery in the wrong place classic classic stuff five star yes [Laughter] she knew she knew in the planet there's something else was doing that onward but you know she is she we have until he had kids when she forgets was he above me yeah and she just so is she so I mean I think the weird thing is me needed me and my wife of cool people we're both quite nerdy and we view people and quite shy people and she's that door is quite cool most you've got some funk sunglasses bought on holiday and she's wearing a new after the other day and I want to take a photo for there aren't you thought it and she should've come bustle in this room I got a cheese chicken and then the minute the cam went down so she kind of is posing running she knew what people it's innate I think it's it's part of that you know the biological makeup on a genetic level of the human race of changing and adapting to Instagram and various other they understand all that amazing it's weird it's like when they pick up devices and they instantly understand you have to swipe them and do this kind of thing you know it's weird it is pretty but it's very recently you should be you should definitely have the young children have them have them baby whether you want them or not there's well candlenut resources we're fine for resources for the foreseeable future everything's going well there's going to be another election within the next six months jeremy corbyn's going to get in he's going to sort everything out so you have some children to enjoy that fun part of the world it's all right it's all right well we should probably wrap up at some point soon I well I'm moving to the countryside I was gonna hear about advice about that we were on open mind Italy going to eat a lot of peaches maybe what I was thinking when we move moving to the country going to eat a lot of peaches not remember that song president to the United States of America yeah no remember them I heard of the moment in that one extra music um the Chinese a childish thing um we're getting a dog yes my wife won you're becoming me yeah my wife we having difficulty the name right for dog this is a little yellow puppy at the moment we're not getting from a few weeks dear lady dog or a girl dog or and I said half German Shepherd half Husky oh my wife wants to call her I think it's going to be because I can't think of anything they're full of Wolfie will be quite common I've got a friend who's got a wolf being here I mean there's worse names there is I was gonna have a son as one we have to think of a name for him as well right I've tried to get moved into both the dog and and the babies are from a routine of misers which capture the Bible called booze Iraq a Bracken well there's a lawyer in each town and that podcast called Boozer so everything name is down yes there is much negative that's okay my wife won't let me call my son boobs please Harry I even as a middle name no that's a shame but it's quite a funny quite hearts that we with baby we kind of quite settled on VB we both agreed on food because one day lovely now yeah we can't think of and I can only say Jamie's do joke name someone we try to get you guys read all them joke made and Rufus coos rezonings redheaded that's and I nearly got Rufus through but for the boys I think we presented quite a nice name brother booze would be cook you only good but lobby for booze again we when we got our little dog who is now called Rosie and our son natty wanted to call her Steve okay we show still think would have been a better name that is a stylish name very much really I love calling animals by own I love school it with like ice for the first name and a second maybe yeah so it's always great yet an animal I've nearly got my wife scalded dog Liz Lemon for a big fan of 31 yeah it's not going only Liz seems so wrong for Liz but I think we're going to walk three rupees fine yeah it's fine what we bear she wants to call her professor Wolfenstein when the dogs in trouble professor whooping sighs good that's fine I mean no worse than calling your son Titus yes like people constantly they still in the modern world give them give their children names like Titus there was someone in the shop at the airport the other day with who was going after I think it was a [ __ ] was either a tiger so it was something like a Hercules or I don't know I try was gunning for Hercules we live at herpes Terrace at the moment all right Hercules easier for you Karen Hercules parents come on it for the Sun that's not the dog that we're addicted for a female dog but for a Hercules fairy doing yeah what would he get into her her cool it was a million in the wire wasn't it yes there was it yeah hook comes with a hook Carrie I'm behind you because I was the people sniffing as it heats and things like we can't have Heath Herring it to the new circle you know he's carrying it too but my dad called Keith Haring isn't really so it's gonna be and that's that's why I said he caring so much Keith Haring keep are you hearing me gay artists Vega yeah we can look at it that was the one gay artist it was I'm no homosexual fellow I want my my dad that artist and the gay one [Laughter] before we go I just have to ask you you're born in Hammersmith according to Wikipedia and I know you think your boy Shepherds Bush goals will grow what's that well it's on the border what is the tallest building in Hammersmith May I have no idea I mean there's just a flyover in the panel there as far as I know well their Wikipedia or maybe my Google search went for the Empire State Building in Earls Court which i think is stretching hamsters at 117 meters high is this one of your emergency question what sort of just asking guests if they know the towards building was the tallest building in Norwich the Cathedral yeah but I would think it probably is but the Google Google said Norwich City Hall hmm imagine victory drink we get familiar with moving here was the Cathedral well I think they can be for my honey it wasn't this is Norwich City Hall that's what it said so by how much it's taller I don't know why I didn't look up there Cathedral we can look it up um hey backstage could maybe be what we do anyway look I think can we should it's been lovely talk to you mate maybe we have to get you back another time I don't know I have to see well the listener to think RBS Hornets I won't agree on your folio what I'm not going to do I would go because I sometimes over prepare and then a thing that I over prepared tell me like you have to do it right yes but would this be good because I was watching I was watching a program about 1984 of BBC four I love those shows and it had a little section about free Nelson Mandela the song yes and Jerry Dammers was talking about it and I was reminded hey what a good song is see how actually effective it was when a few political song that had a clear effect via positive effects and so I was and you know how the first goes 21 years in captivity are you so blind that you cannot see are you so dead that you cannot hear I was thinking we could just carry on doing like we saw something that you that you can't something and see how long we could go for I go back and forth I go I go that I don't like some music for it you can cut this out right it's appropriate to do the thing up it's the karaoke version says clearable but the one used in captivity are you so blind that you cannot see are you soaked up that you cannot hear are you so lame that you cannot walk are you so stupid you don't understand are you so sexually 50-car an erection are you so sure that you cannot reach it are you so tall that you cannot reach down [Applause] are you so slow there's no good in it think I would you take money we just clean up that's why that's why they restricted it to justice I would have been going in there every day Gary ID I got a new one are you so boring that no one wants to talk to you about it Gary come back all right I try oh my god thank you very much for coming back Adam it's always good love to see we are next time I'm in Oh show me give your ring please do I will just do that I'll say thanks gentlemen attaboy [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] has I them sky potato you

Channel: Richard Herring

Views: 108,383

Rating: 4.7971334 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: -yhFMpDe6io

Length: 76min 51sec (4611 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 05 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Dissociatve]

I was at a Cliff Richard concert the other night and all the cool kids were calling it RHLSTP

[u/DaLateDentArthurDent]

Didn't know he was having Adam back on?! Love some Buxton

[u/king_bromeliad]

The Paul Merton one recently was absolutely brilliant. Will watch this one with interest

[u/lord_taint]

Classic booze of raccab!

[u/monkeyboyhero]

Have any of your siblings seen a ghost?