♪ (triumphant logo music) ♪ (movie theme music) (snake rattling) (loud gunshot) ♪ (ominous whimsical music) - Run little fella,
run for your life! ♪ (soft music) (horse neighs) Won't be much longer,
boy. We'll find us a blacksmith in town,
you'll be as good as new. ♪ (soft contentious music) - You shootin' at somebody or
is somebody shootin' at you? - I just killed a rattler.
- Why? - He was about to eat
hisself a baby rabbit. - So? A snake don't get
him, something else will. - Maybe, but I reckon
it's nice for a feller to live as long as he can,
even if he's a rabbit. - What about the snake? - Well, snakes is
a different thing! - Is they? - Anything happening
in Silver City? - The usual. - Usual don't mean much to
me; I ain't never been there. [Cass] So is anything happening? - You just asked that, sonny! - So he asked it again. I hear a new gal's coming
into town on the late stage. Gonna work at Mamie's. They stuck the picture
she sent up over the bar. If she looks like the picture,
she's something special. Every man in town's
turned out to meet her. The thing is, Mamie
thinks this new gal don't know what kinda
job she signed up for. If she don't know, it's
gonna be a joke on her. (awkward giggling) Son, Mamie's ain't
no flower shop! ♪ (soft music) You know somebody in Silver? - Nope. - Then if I was you,
I'd untie them guns. Folks around there are kinda
Eastern. They don't kowtow to strangers walkin' around
with the steel strapped tight. Well...I ain't no stranger
around these parts. Neither is Thunder
and Lightning. These folks have been
known to make exceptions... but like I say, if I
was you...I'd untie 'em. Silver ain't no place for a kid. - You just come from there. - I just come THROUGH there! And I ain't no kid! - He ain't no kid! - That's the best one I
heard since Hangtown! He ain't no kid!
(laughing) ♪ (soft contentious music) ♪ (soft piano music) ♪ (jovial crowd commotion) - You got a spell to tack a shoe
on my animal? I got the shoe. - Sorry boy, I'm just
fixing to join the fun. - Can you find
time for a dollar? - A dollar? You're
in Silver City, boy. Just a dollar might
buy you a nail! ♪ (jovial crowd commotion) I was only
kidding, son. How's if I shoe all
fours for $2.50? - Just bother
with the one for 75 cents, and...
use the same shoe. Mind you, take care
of my Winchester. - I've seen one of them
things before, sonny. (jovial crowd commotion) (women teasing & shouting) (jovial crowd commotion) (women teasing) (jovial crowd commotion) - [patron] New boy, Seth.
- [patron] Hell Ed, I seen him. - [Cass] Evening sir...
- Hold your horses, customer. I'm about to have
breakfast. - Well son, put your boot in
the rail, that's what it's for. (gulping sounds) - Passin' through
here, stranger? - Maybe...then again I might
take a hankering to your town. - You do that son,
you'd best untie them pistols
you're toting. - Nobody said nothin' to
you out there in the street? - Ain't nobody out there
fit to say nothin'. - Well Mr. Ed's
right, boy. We got strict
laws here in Silver. Well, we don't mind a little
hoo-rah now and then, and... well this here house keeps
stock of what the fellas want, whiskey and all, but... serious gun-totin's
another thing. I guess we all seen too
much shootin' not long back... so much so, we've run plum
out of sheriffs, temporarily. - I hear tell you folks make
exceptions now and then. - You've got good ears, boy. - Ran into a young
fella just at sunset up on the hill, and that's
sure what he told me. - This here young
fella riding alone? - Nope, he had a couple
fellas tagging with him. - This here your friend
from on the hill? - A spittin' image! Well, I'll be danged! - Yeah, we make exceptions
to Billy Pimple. He ain't quite Billy the Kid,
but he's sure working on it... and he's jealous of him
too, which makes it worse. Billy Pimple's got
a disposition like a rattlesnake
in the sun. This here wanted
sign was hung up pretty as you please on
that wall over there. It had to be,
it's the law. I always nail Billy's pictures
as far as I can tack 'em from the bar, but...it makes no
difference where I stick 'em. He still gets sore. Him and them two
sidewinders of his come in here about five o'clock;
they had one whiskey. Then Billy spots
the picture through the mirror...and just
starts shootin'. Cleared the place
out before I had time to duck
behind the bar. - Then he runs out
into the street, and invites the whole town
in here to have a drink. - Invites the whole
town in for a drink at the end of a gun.
- On the house. - That's what started
that whole mess out there. Our folks was gonna
be real gentlemen to meet the new girl, until--
- Billy comes to town. - By the time he left,
they was all so drunk they could hardly follow him out
in the street to wave goodbye. - To wave goodbye?
Do they like him? - Hell no, they
don't like him... but they don't dislike him
if you get what I mean. - So junior, if you can't
shoot like Billy, we can't-- - Now Seth, don't you
go starting something-- - Well boy, are
them real guns? - Now come on, fellas! (gunshots) - Hey, what's
going on down here? - I thought for a minute
it was Billy Pimple! - [Cass] Evening, I didn't
mean to disturb you. - Buster, we've been
all through that before! - Yeah, we thought there
was more free drinks! - This here boy is better
and faster than Billy! - Well he sure keeps
his bullets to himself. - You can wear them tied
down just as is, Mister! We ain't gonna
try to stop you. - Strong shootin' boy!
(women chatter) (women chatter) (horse neighs)
(crashing sound) (loud crash) (drunken men chattering) - [driver] Hey...come
on, get up there! Come on, move outta the
way there! Clear away there! Look out for the stage.
Get outta the way there! [driver] Hoo there, hoooooo. - All right, easy, easy boys!
Let the little lady out! (clamoring) - [drunk] Come on outta
there, honey. Don't be afraid. - [stage hand] Come on
fellas, she's just a kid! - She won't be no
kid after tonight! - Thought you had some
laws in this town? - Ain't no laws when
the whole town's drunk! - [drunk] My my, what
a pretty woman! Come on boys, let's give
him a hand outta there. Let's help him outta there.
He looks a little weak to me. (drunken clamoring) - HOLD IT! (crowd quiets down) [Maime] You drunken sots! Don't you touch one hair
on that little gal's head! She's mine, do you
understand THAT? Mine! I'm a'comin' out to get
you Nellie; don't you fret! You don't have to
work until tomorrow! (laughter) - Where you heading, boy? - I'm gonna ride them
men away from that coach! They're gonna hurt that girl! - [Maime] Evenin' Floyd, I
see you brung your brother. (horse whinnies) Although you're drunk!
(chuckles) - [blacksmith] No,
your saddle's loose! (thump) - You boys is acting
like rabbits, relax! There's gonna be
enough for everybody. (horse neighs) Evening, Carson. You
oughta have a full house for
sure next Sunday. (laughs) (door thumps) Grab her! (drunken commotion) (gunshot)
(drunken commotion) (drunken commotion) (gunshot) (dog barks) (gunshot) - [Cass] Look here girl...
I'm picking you up! Hahhh! Help me, girl! (drunken clamoring) (hooves pounding)
(shouting & clamoring) (shouting & clamoring) (men laugh) - Good boy! Go to it, son.
(laughter) - Keep on riding!
- Take her away! - Will one of you
bums do something?! What the hell are
you laughing at? - I was just hoping
they might fall off. - [Maime] Get in there! (hard laughter) - What a night, what a night!
- Wowee, what a night! (hard laughter) - [Cass] How do your
legs feel now? - I don't know! That's the first time I've
ever been ON a horse! - Yeah, well you weren't
on one, much... - Yeah... Do you know where we are? - Nope, I just know
where we ain't. That was getting
downright unhealthy. ♪ (soft music) - You think they'll
come after us? - There ain't nobody in Silver
tonight fit to set a horse. ♪ (soft music) Now look... didn't you figure
when that Mamie person wrote for a picture,
something wasn't just right? I mean you don't have to look
like you to wait on tables. - I guess I just
wanted so hard for everything to be
right, I didn't think. I've had so much trouble
finding a decent job ANY place. - Well for gosh
sakes, why? - Well a decent
job doesn't always mean that the menfolks
will stay decent. - Yeah well,
whatever that means. - How old are you? - Somewhere close
to 20, Pa told me. - I am 20. Do you know where
we're headed? - I don't rightly know. - Well don't you
live just back there? - Not JUST back there,
WAY back there. I seen Silver City
for the first time only a little while
before you did. - Why did you take
this chance? - There was two
good reasons. First, you was in
a heap of trouble-- - We're still in trouble. We don't even know
where we're going. - That's right...but there's
somewhere...sure ahead. The stagecoach comes
down this road... it had to come
from someplace. So we'll just keep on. - And the other reason? ♪ (soft music) - The other reason was... I guess you're the
prettiest girl I ever seen. I didn't want none of
them fellas touching you. ♪ (soft music) ♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (jaunty country tune) (chickens clucking) (squawking) (chickens clucking) (doors bang open) (knocking) - [Judge Bean] Oh
hell, come on in! - Buenos dias, Your
Honor. The sun's up. (groans) ♪ (whimsical music) (slapping sound) - Come here boy...
take care of that! (groans) You lame there, boy? Take care of that just now!
- Yes sir! But you told me last night
to remind you, first thing, that today's a big day.
You know, the horse thief! - Horse thief? Today's
Wednesday...(chuckles) I plum near forgot about it. Boy, fetch me my good coat. Oh my... No no, I said the good one! ♪ (soft whimsical music) - A new couple checked into
town...early this morning. - How new?
- Brand new! They ain't much older
than me. I seen 'em. - They sign up as
Mr. and Mrs.? Well, did they? I'm ony gonna give you a
nickel, 'cause you ain't worth a dime when you
only give me half-facts! You fetch me Cauliflower
and Rankin, right now! Boy! You hurry with that jug!
- Yes sir! ♪ (whimsical country tune) - Oh my.... (groans) ♪ (whimsical music) (groans with pleasure) (groans) Oh my...Wednesday... ♪ (jaunty country tune) - [boy] Cauliflower! Rankin! Cauliflower! Rankin! The judge wants to see
you both, right away! And he's sober! ♪ (jaunty country tune) ♪ (soft whimsical music) (bang) - Throw 'em out. All right girlie, get dressed.
- I am dressed! - That ain't neither
here nor there, you're both
going with us. - For what? - We got a little law
here in Vinegaroon called Indecent Conduct...
and you two just broke it. - Here together in
this nice hotel... - Why, you ain't even
registered as man and wife. - Here ye, here ye, here ye! This honorable court is
just about to begin session. Any of you boys
want another snort before I begin to
work, get it now! Bring Sonny out here! (excited chatter) (gavel thuds)
[Bean] All right, all right! Shut up and sit down! (chain clatters) [Bean] Well... Good morning, Sonny. - Morning, Judge. - Would you mind just stepping
around here please, Sonny? (laughter) Sonny boy... you was brought
brought in here for borrowing another fella's
horse without him knowing it. (laughter) Now, it's my duty
as the law of this fair city to pass judgment
and speak my verdict. Sonny, time will pass,
seasons will come and go... Summer with its
shimmering heat waves and the baked horizon
and then Fall... With a yellow harvest
moon, and the hills all turning gold under the
sinking sun, and then Winter, with a biting, whining
wind, and the land all mantled over white with
snow, and then...Spring again. Spring with the green grass
blowing gently in the breeze, and heaps of sweet wild
flowers on top of every hill... (bang) Well you won't be
here to see none of it! Because it's the order
of this court right now that you be took out of
here up on that hill and be hanged by
the neck 'til you're dead, dead, dead!
(banging) Now get him outta here! ♪ (dramatic foreboding music) Now...you boys got
just one minute before I start the next case. (excited chatter) - Roy, you know that
stranger we found dead from natural causes in
the hotel yesterday? Well, I spent $10
building his box! - Well that's your
job, Milton, ain't it? - My job is to stick
'em in the ground, but... I shouldn't have
to pay for it. - Milton you told me
all that last night, but the main fact
is I was so drunk, I forgot to ask you what you
found on that poor fella. I mean, now look Milton,
weren't he carrying nothin'? - Well...nothing much...
- Like? - Well, like eh... 37 bucks and a gun. - $37? Why Milton, that's
withholding evidence! - Well I was gonna
tell you about it! - You was gonna have to! (laughing) Oh hell, it don't make
no difference Milton... but the law is the law,
so let's just fine that corpse, say, $37 for carrying
a gun without a permit... (both chuckle) and Milton... you can turn the money over to
the City Treasury right now. You can buy that gun from
the city for two bucks later. - Later? - Later, Milton... And don't you be frettin'
about the money you spent on that box, because we're
gonna play some poker later on and you'll get
a chance to win it back. All right come on now, sit down!
(banging) All of you sit
down and be quiet. (sound of bodies shuffling) We're gonna have some order
in this here courtroom. I said quiet! Now bring in the next offender. (whistling cat calls) Now what the
devil did you two kids do to get in
all this trouble? - Well sir-- - These was
the two in the hotel. - [Bean] Well was
ya or wasn't ya? - Yes sir. - You got a legal
certificate of marriage? - We just met last night! - Fast work, eh son?
(laughter) - When these two came at
me, I was outside the room! - Well was he or wasn't
he? Speak up, boys! (deputies talk over each other) - Answer me boy,
are you two married? - No, sir. - Now where's my box...
- Right in there, Your Honor! (sound of rummaging) - Step forward, girl. Pick out the ring you
want, it's your wedding. Come on girl, hurry up! [Bean] Don't act like a woman.
My time is valuable! Now... do you two take--
what's your names? - Nellie Winters--
- Cass Bunning-- - Do you Cass and Nellie
take each other as lawful wedded spouses to honor and respect
from this time forward in sickness and in health
'til death do you part? [Bean] Well do ya?!
- Well-- - [Bean] I now pronounce
you man and wife! Stick the ring on her
finger, boy, and kiss her, and may God have
mercy on your souls. Oh yeah, I got a
surprise for you! You two young folks are
gonna be the guests of our fine hotel. Ain't gonna
cost you a cent, and boys, tomorrow I'm gonna
stick a new sign up on the hotel that says "Spend
Your Honeymoon in Vinegaroon!" (laughter) Yes sir, boy, your room's
gonna be on the house... but this here wedding
I just performed is gonna set you back
five bucks and girl, you can give me back that ring. You'll find a better one
somewhere later on, I'm sure. Now then, let's give a big
hand for our newlyweds! (applause) Get outta here. You boys have got exactly
one short minute to wet your whistles before
we go onto the next case. (excited chatter & commotion) - Cass! ♪ (dramatic ominous music) - [Cass] We must've walked
both our legs off. - [Nellie] It didn't seem long. - It's been hours, and we ain't
said a word...neither of us. - Well, where should we begin? - I guess I don't have
to pick petals no more. Looks like I'm
already spoke for. - Are you sorry?
- I ain't nuthin'... but maybe I'm mostly glad
that you're like you are. A thing like this could
be downright awful. ♪ (soft dramatic music) I meant that nice... I mean... it ain't bad at all with you. - Well...I guess we're
really married. - Well, I ain't never
seen nothin' more legal. - Cass! - [Cass] Think, that's
just a hunk of wood. Folks die everyplace
in the world. Anyway, up here's the only
cool breeze around town. - Do men always
think like that? I mean, straight out
with their feelings. - The only man I ever
knowed well was Pa. I hope I thinks like he does. My ma died awhile back.
- So did mine, and then my dad. - I guess being a girl and
having your ma die would be just like it would be with me if
something was to happen to Pa. I'm gonna take
you home to my pa. He needs you while I'm gone.
- Gone? - I got things to do. This ain't the time
to explain 'em. Nellie, we're in real trouble. They got all my money but
$2. They got my saddle and my guns and we ain't going
no place without my horse. That hotel ain't
safe for you tonight. Can't tell what them
drunks is liable to pull... - [Bean] Hey you two! Come on up here and
we'll visit for a spell. (chuckles) That's right,
come a-runnin'. I was a little out of
sorts this morning, and I reckon maybe I was
just a little bit crabby, eh? [Bean] Progress... Dang it! A man tries to stay ahead of
progress, so he can make an honest living and progress
can't never catch up to him. I ride up here every
morning to see if them railroad fellas stuck that
track down any closer. They said they'd be
comin' right by here... more than a month ago
when I stuck up my town. Hell's fire...I can't
even see the smoke from their train, which they
probably ain't even got... Gettin' so you just can't
trust nobody nowadays. (chuckles) Now don't go frettin'
yourself about Sonny, that's the second horse he
borrowed without asking. It was bound to happen
sooner or later. You know kids now, they
figure they gots the right to do anything they want
just 'cause they young. Hell, just being young
don't give you that right! A wild bunch out in California
hanged me once when I was young. My gal Cholita, whose fault
the whole mess was all about, she cut me down after her
folks thought I was a goner. Should've stayed hung. I wasn't
much good when I was young. [Bean] Girl... Girl, come over here. Come
on girl, come on over here! So, uh...(chuckles)
your name is Nellie, eh? I got me a sweetheart with
a name pretty close to that. Boy... you ever hear tell of
Miss Lillie Langtry? - My pa has, Your
Honor. He's seen her. - Where?! New York?
Chicago? San Francisco? - Not sure where, Judge.
- Well I'll be damned. The only other fella I ever
met who knowed her just happened to see her
passing by on a train once. Say, I reckon your
pa thinks like I do, that Miss Lillie
Langtry is the greatest actress in the whole world, huh? - And the prettiest.
- Your pa's a smart fella. Of course almost
everyone thinks that. Any of your family
ever seen a girl? Girl! You know you
two being married, I figured maybe somebody in
your family's seen her too. - No, they haven't seen
her, but they read a lot. - Well hell, I
should think so. I'm gonna build me a town
someday, and I'm gonna name it after her. Langtry,
Texas it's gonna be known as. ♪ (romantic music) That little old tent town
ain't good enough for a man of my education.
I'm gonna build me a real city with a real courthouse,
where I can practice law, and... I'm gonna name it after her. Langtry... Texas! ♪ (romantic music) Come on, Mule. Oh, um... like I said, you kids ain't
got nothin' to worry about. You can just be our guests
for the night, and be happy... Ain't gonna cost you a cent. Oh and boy...by the time
you walk down this hill, you'll find your saddle
and your guns in your room. I sure want to thank
you for telling me about your pa. It
means a heap to me. I've been in love with
Miss Lillie Langtry for... Oh, forever I guess... ♪ (romantic music) But I ain't never seen her. ♪ (romantic music) - He's just a little boy...
an old, old little boy. - Yeah? Well he sure didn't let that
Sonny feller get any older... and he didn't give me back
my five bucks, neither. (pigs snort) (background chatter) (childrens' laughter) - The carpenter has fixed
your door, good as new! The boss is giving a
fiesta tonight for a couple of newly-marrieds.
Reckon you'll be there? - There ain't no way out. You
got yourself quite some boss. - The best around! (dog barks)
(children chatter) - Look Nellie...I don't know
nothing about being married. - Well, why don't we start
by just opening the door? - Yeah, well... (water splashes) (Nellie screams) (rice poofs)
(Nellie screams) (crash)
(Nellie yelps) (laughing) (Cass coughs) - Oh, look... [Nellie] "Spend your
honeymoon in Vinegaroon." You better close
that door before everybody in town's
looking in here. Help me, please.
(door closes) ♪ (romantic music) Help me. ♪ (sentimental music) - [crowd] One, two, three!
(crowd groans) - Again, ready! - [crowd] One, two, three! (crowd laughs) (pow) (thump) (crowd laughs) - Why doesn't that
other man ever get hit? - So far he's
never lost. Look, closed fists
like this means rocks. Hands flat out
means paper, and two fingers straight
out means scissors. - Ready! - [crowd] One, two, three! (crowd laughs) (loud pop)
- Whoa! (crowd woos & laughs) - Now watch,
it's simple. Pa and I used to
play this game. Of course, we never played
it that way before. We used to do like this.
(slap) - Ow! - Now look,
here's the rules. Rocks breaks scissors,
scissors cuts paper, paper wraps rocks. One of them fellas always
loses, unless it's a tie. Then they just go at it
again until one of 'em loses. - And it's always the one
they call Cauliflower? - [Bean] He always loses! I reckon Rankin's got
the Indian sign on him. Ready?! - [crowd] One, two, three! (pow)
(crowd woos & laughs) (crowd laughs) - Get him outta here! (crowd laughs & banters) I just love seeing my people
have good, clean, rough fun. I give these here shindigs
every time I get a chance. - And Cauliflower always loses? - Oh hell no, he won once
about four months ago. Nearly killed Rankin! Damn near had to drown
him to bring him to! (indistinct chatter) [Bean] Ladies and gentlemen! Before we start this
evening's dancin', I want to dedicate a
drop of this fine whiskey to the prettiest girl
in the whole wide world! (applause) Ladies and gentlemen, here's
to Miss Lillie Langtry! (crowd cheers) (chatter & applause) Start the music! ♪ (lively music)
(festive chatter) - You oughta be the chair. - I'd be scared not to. ♪ (lively music)
(festive chatter) - [Bean] Change partners! ♪ (lively music)
(festive chatter) - You'd better dance a
turn or two with Lilly, and then you can trade her in
for some other fella's gal. It's no joke! The Judge
thinks Lilly keeps the fiesta going, and I'll
tell you something else... Lillie Langtry sat
on this very chair. The Judge bought it from
some show fella in Chicago. ♪ (lively music)
(festive chatter) ♪ (soft music) - My head aches. - You're lucky. I
ache all over. I must've got stuck
dancing with that darn chair
more than 100 times. - You two did look
pretty together. - We looked just as
pretty as you did, swinging around all
night with His Honor. - He's not all bad. I think he's only mean when
he's drunk or has a hangover. - Well that just gives him
24 hours a day to be mean. - He didn't have to
give me this horse. - That there wedding present
you're riding belonged to Sonny. - What?
- [Cass] Pepe told me. - Why didn't they give
him back to the owner? - Nobody knows who the owner is. That kid just came into
town riding that horse... so they figured he stole it. - And Judge Bean
hung him for that? - His Honor's your friend. ♪ (soft music) - Cass... When you leave me with your
dad, where are you going? I think I have a right to know. I mean, we're not just a
mistake anymore...or are we? - No Nellie, that's sure
not the way I think. Well... I guess my pa's the fastest draw and the deadest shot
in the whole world. Well...the reason I
can tell you is on account of he teach
me everything I know... and Nellie, that's all I know. [Cass] Guns, I mean. Nothing wrong, I mean I
ain't going against the law. There's posters out on
a bunch of fellas like Jesse and Frank James,
and Billy the Kid, and even that other Billy. Them posters, they
offer lots of money. Well, I'm fast enough
and good enough to bring them fellas
in...dead or alive. - You're going out
after Jesse James?! - Heck no, sure not Jesse!
He rides with a whole bunch, but sure enough
that Billy Pimple. I met up with him just
before I seen you. He ain't nothing, Nellie. Why, when Pa told me
about them fellas, I figured them to be strong
and handsome and 10 foot tall... but gosh, that Billy's
just a little squirt. - That Billy's just
as big as his guns. ♪ (ominous music) Cass, if your dad was such
a great hand with a gun, why didn't he turn
bounty hunter? - I bet you'd ask that.
- Well? - Nellie, you're just
gonna have to get to know my pa before I can
explain him and how he is. - Well why don't you try? After all, I am going
home to live with him. - Look, for instance...a
few years back a fella stopped by our farm. Said he
wanted a drink of whiskey. We didn't have none in the
house then, and Pa told him so. Well, he got mad and stepped off
his horse and challenged Pa. Ma and me just stood in
the doorway and didn't say nothin', while Pa went in the
house and strapped on his guns. Soon as he come out, him
and this fella faced off. Then a funny thing happened. All of the sudden Pa
sticks his hands up in the air and tells this
stranger to draw on him. Well he did, and Pa just turned
his back and reaches down and flipped his own two guns
in the dirt, and walked away. This fella called
my pa a lot of bad names, but Pa
just stood there. After some more
name-calling, this fella just got back up on his
horse and rode away. Turned out this fella
was Wes Harden. Pa knowed it all along. Later on he told me he didn't
draw on him on account of Ma... but I always figured he plum
didn't want to kill nobody, even a top gunman
like Wes Harden. My pa's too good a
man Nellie...too kind. Well that's his problem... and I guess that
answers your question. - Yes, Cass. ♪ (uplifting music) - We'll find us a
good spot later on and I'll prove to you
how good I can shoot. You'll be surprised. ♪ (soft music) (gunshots) [Cass] Well? - I didn't think anybody
could shoot like that! - My pa says there
ain't many who can. He's the onlyest
one I ever seen, but heck, all them
fellas I told you about can shoot maybe as good
as or better than me. There ain't no way
of telling, yet. I always figured it's
mostly a matter of luck, but Ma used to say
it was only God's will who lives or
dies in this world... but it's a chance I gotta
take. Like I told you... guns is all I know.
- But now we're married. - I didn't ask for that.
- Neither did I! - Well what do I do now, huh? Throw these guns away
and pick up Pa's plow just because all of the
sudden I got myself a wife? - [Nellie] I don't
care what you do! You just go ahead and
let those poster fellas blow your fat head off
if that's what you want, and they will,
any one of 'em! - [Cass] Well where do you think
you're going, Mrs. Bunning? - It's my horse, and I'm
gonna ride him as far away as I can from the greatest
gunfighter in the West! - [Cass] Nellie!
- Nellie?! I'm surprised you
remember my name! I thought I was
"Mrs. Bunning." - Look, I don't
know what to say... - Well, why don't you say... just once... that you love me? - I'd choke...
- Well I love you. - So do I...that
ain't easy to say. - There, you see?
You just said it. - [stranger] I sure
like happy endings! ♪ (dramatic tone) Now son, will you please
throw those two Colts out on the ground
in front of you. ♪ (dramatic tone) (guns clatter on ground) Toss that gun belt out
a little bit further. ♪ (anxious tone) Now drop your pants. That pretty little lady there
is your girlfriend, isn't she? - She's my wife! - Then that's all the more
reason you oughta do what I ask. You sure now wouldn't want her
to be your widow, would ya? - Do like he says! ♪ (soft ominous music) ♪ (dramatic ominous music) - You're real handy
with those guns. You've got a fine rhythm. We heard you when
you first started shooting, so we
rode down to watch. Where'd you learn
to shoot like that? - My pa taught me. - Your pa a lawman? - My pa's a farmer. - That's quite a waste. Excuse me, ma'am. I was so
impressed with your husband here that, I almost forgot
my manners. Good morning. - Good morning.
(contentious tone) - Son, what are you gonna
do with all that ability? - I was just showing
Nellie how I could shoot. I'm gonna go home and
be a farmer with my pa. - If that was the truth,
you'd be another waste, but you're not a very good liar. Let's see your hands, son. Look at how your
palms are sweating. [stranger] Now look at mine. You see, there's a difference... and that difference, boy,
just might mean your life. You could be the best
shot in the world, but you can't handle guns with
your hands all wet with sweat. Nerves, nothing else. In time the greenness
wears off, but... right now, you're
not worth very much. - Look Mister, if you're
trying to frighten us, you're not doing
a very good job. Now we don't have
any money, and you don't need our horses,
so what do you want? - By jiggers young
lady, you're something. Now if you could shoot
like your husband, I'd invite you to join
up with us right now. You make Belle Starr
look like a nun. [stranger] Couple of other
things, youngster... Don't EVER leave your
rifle on your horse... and the next time you
feel like practicing, pick yourself a
spot up on a hill so you have a chance
to look around. Down here in a
gully like this, you and that pretty
little wife of yours are like sitting ducks for
anyone that happens by. Where are you headed? - I'm going to my pa's
farm, on past Silver City. - Well you two
ride around Silver. We just came through there, and I got a feeling
trouble's brewing. Now, the reason I've
spent this time talking to you is I think
you're gonna be about as happy being a farmer
as I would've been. So when you change your
mind, you look me up. I could use a bright boy
like you with your talents. - I can't look you up, sir,
if I don't know who you are. - Well, I guess that's
the way we all get when there's been a
little talk about us. We just automatically think
everybody knows who we are. That's my brother
Frank over there. - Hello, folks. - [stranger] My
cousin, Bobby Ford. - Howdy. - And my name's Jesse. Now, we'll leave the
animals over there a ways. No telling just
how good you could shoot that rifle if
you took a notion. You understand, a man in my
position can't take chances... even with kids. Now like I said, you two ride
around Silver, and boy... when you get tired of
being a farmer, look me up. ♪ (dramatic music) - Jesse James...well that
even beats Vinegaroon! (thump) (Nellie laughs)
♪ (whimsical music) (Nellie yelps) (both laugh) ♪ (whimsical music) That fine wedding gift
your friend gave you might just not make it
all the way to the ranch. (Nellie screams) - [Cass] Don't move! Stop that!
(Nellie yelps) (Nellie gasps) (Nellie gasps) (Nellie gasps) Gimme that comb...it's the only
safe way to pry you loose. This here is cholla...
the jumping cactus. [Cass] It don't really jump,
but it sure moves around. The barbs get stuck
underneath a horse, it don't take long for it to
roll over its whole belly. The more he bucks, the more
it rolls. Won't shake loose. Pa lost one of his best
horses with this darn stuff. Bucked hisself
clean off the ranch... half across a river, drowned. Of course, he was
worse than you. He was stupid enough to back
hisself down on a whole bush. - Ouch, that hurts! - [Cass] You think it sticks, you oughta smell how it
stinks when it burns! Pa and I got the bright idea one year to burn all the
cholla off the ranch. Ma just up and moved to
Silver, stayed one full week! Then she didn't
speak to neither one of us for another full
week once she got back. It was awful...to smell
that stuff burning, I mean. Come on. We'll build us a fire,
and...heat some water and get that leg of
yours washed clean... and we can have
some coffee. Jesse James... Well... Jesse and Frank rode with
Quantrill during the war. Pa says Quantrill was the
bloodiest man in history. He knows them things. Anyhow, Jesse was only 16 then,
but he must've learned a lot. Pa says he still busts a
town like a Quantrill raid. Seven or eight of
his bunch ride down Main Street and start
hurrah-ing with their guns and horses acting
like they was drunk... then while all the folks
are screaming for cover, a couple of 'em open up
the bank. It sure works. One day the James
boys busted open three towns in the
same afternoon! The great thing
was, the towns were more than
1,000 miles apart. - Oh Cass, you know
that's impossible. - [Cass] Nope it ain't. I didn't say Jesse and Frank was
in all them towns. They wasn't. They wasn't any more than
they're gonna be in Silver, if that's your idea. But
their boys might be. Sometimes nowadays
they just tell the boys where everything is, and
what to do about it. They got a real plan. Well there must be $10,000
in that bank in Silver... - Then we better do like he
said and go around Silver City. - Nope Nellie...we're gonna
ride close...somewhere. All my life, I've been
listening and never doing. I sure ain't about
to get myself mixed up in a mess
if there is one... but by golly, if
there is one... I'm sure gonna see it. (fire hisses)
- [Nellie] Oh, Cass! ♪ (sentimental music) - Well, would you feel better
just comin' out and arguing? - About what? - Come on...you
know about what. Gosh Nellie, I can't
change things when I've been thinking about
it for years, overnight. - I wouldn't ask you to. - But you don't like it.
- I don't like it at all. I think it's stupid
and it's dangerous. - Ain't we supposed to fight? Ain't all marrieds
supposed to fight? - The only married people I
knew well were Mom and Dad. They fought now
and then, but they loved each other
and they were happy. ♪ (dramatic tone) - Good afternoon! Don't
reach for anything, boy. Our guns are on your wife. ♪ (suspenseful music) You ride on up to
me, little lady. ♪ (ominous music) Now son, you just ease up. We've heard about
both of you. Your pretty little
wife's not gonna get hurt unless you decide
to cause us trouble. [bandit] We're just gonna borrow
her for a little while, so it's best for you
to just sit there quiet in the scent of this wash. Count to a million. ♪ (suspenseful music) - [Nellie] You're a brave
lot! Six against one! No wonder you lost the war! - [bandit] Yes ma'am. We're
brave and we're smart, and I'll tell you
something else...we're rich! - And I'll tell YOU something
else...you're bandits! - Yes ma'am, the best! Now you just cup
your sputter and do like I tell
ya...when I tell ya. ♪ (suspenseful music) (chopping sounds)
♪ (suspenseful music) (thump) ♪ (suspenseful music) - [Cass] Ouch! - Now ma'am, we're gonna pretend
like we're a little bit drunk. We're gonna sing and
laugh and have a good time. So you just sing along with us
and have a good time, you hear? <i> ♪</i> (singing)<i> Oh, I wish I was
in the land of cotton</i> ♪<i> 'Cause my feet stink
and yours are rotten</i> ♪<i> Look away, look away,
get away Dixie Land</i> Sing along, honey child. ♪ (all singing)<i> Oh, way up North
they've got brave cowboys</i> <i> ♪ They bring soldiers
just like us, get away</i> <i> ♪ Get away, get
away, Dixie Land</i> <i> ♪ Oh I wish I was
in Dixie today</i> (gunshots) (women screaming)
(gunshots) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) - [bandit] Ya! (whooping & hollering)
(commotion & gunshots) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) - Bandits, bandits, bandits!
(commotion & gunshots) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) (glass breaks) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) (rifle fires)
(horse neighs) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) - [bandit] YEE-HAWW! ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) ♪ (dramatic music)
(doors clatter) (bullet richochets) ♪ (dramatic music)
(commotion & gunshots) (fire crackles) ♪ (dramatic music) - [man] Wanted, $25,000 reward,
Jesse James, dead or alive. $15,000 reward, Frank James. $1,000 reward for any known member of the James
band, dead or alive. Signed, St.
Louis-Midland Railroad. So you see what it says here,
any known member, and these two fellas in their coffins
there are sure known members! In the morning, Silver
City is going to advance this fine brave young man his
part of the reward, $1,000! [man] In a minute, our good
friend George is going to present him with a
Silver City certified check, and Silver City is going to
collect our part of the reward, another $1,000, as soon as
the people from the railroad come in and identify those
two bandits for themselves. (applause) - I've been trying to tell
you all night--it's important! - It can wait. George. - I hope it can wait! - All right George,
make your presentation. - [George] Thank you. Young man... as President of the
Silver City Bank, it gives me great pleasure--
- [bandit] Hero! There's an acquaintance of yours outside in the street
waiting for you. - That's what I've been
trying to tell you! Billy Pimple come
in this morning, heard about your poster
shootin' and damn near exploded! - Well are you gonna go
out and see Billy, hero... or is he gonna have
to come in here with all these nice folks
who he ain't mad at? ♪ (ominous music) - Nellie...there just ain't
nothin' else I can do. ♪ (ominous music) (Cass's slow footsteps) - [Billy] I hear
you're mighty handy with them guns of
yours. Is that a fact? - Well, I reckon
a fact's a fact. (Billy scoffs) - [Billy] Now that's
a downright shame... because folks around here
sorta look on me as the number one in that line... and I DON'T cater
to competition. - [Cass] Well, you were the
gent that called me out here. (spurs jingle) - Well boy...I guess now
it's anytime you're ready. - [Nellie] Cass! You do
just like your dad did once... Throw those guns
down, turn around and walk away, or I'll
shoot Billy in the back! - Who's your girlfriend? - That's my wife, and I
reckon she means it! - Ben, where are ya? - [Ben] Up here on
the balcony, Billy. If that girl pulls the
hammer down on you, I'll blow her husband's head
clear across the street. - Ben, if that girl pulls the
hammer down on me, it don't make no difference what you
do with her husband's head. - [henchman] I'll come in
from behind her, Billy! - [Nellie] Listen Mr. Billy,
you tell that friend over there to start whistling and
to keep whistling, or I'll-- - Orville...it might've been
better if you had just did it. So whistle! (Orville whistles) Girl... you'd shoot me in the back?
- [Nellie] In a second! - Then boy, I figure
it's best you do like the little lady tells you. I'm too young to die. - Nellie! You might as well just drop
that rifle. I ain't quitting! - [Ben] Want me
to blast him, Billy? - Ben, you just sit
up there and shut up! That crazy girl couldn't
miss me if I was in a hole! [Billy] Well... This here is what you could
rightly call a Mexican standoff. Looks like one of us is
gonna get it in the back, maybe both of us. You
got any bright ideas? - [Cass] Well, it's
like you said Billy... it's your party. - Some party. (soft whistling) - Keep whistling Orville! (Orville whistles) ♪ (suspenseful music) (gun fires)
♪ (suspenseful music) ♪ (suspenseful music) (Nellie screams)
♪ (suspenseful music) ♪ (tense music) (hooves echo)
♪ (tense music) - [woman] Oh for God's... - [man] Is he dead? - [man] He ain't dead,
he's just hurt. - Please, help us! Somebody please help him!
- [man] Both shoulders. - [man] Somebody get the doc! - [Cass voiceover] Snakes
is a different thing... (voice repeating) Snakes
is a different thing... - [Billy] IS THEY?! Gimme that! ♪ (ominous suspenseful music) (commotion & screaming)
♪ (ominous suspenseful music) (rifle fires)
(Nellie screams) (commotion & screaming)
♪ (dramatic music) (hooves echo)
♪ (dramatic music) ♪ (somber music) - [Maime] Come on honey...
come on with Mamie now. Come on, honey.
(Nellie weeps) Come on... There's nothing you can do. You know honey, this
time you came up unlucky... but Mamie's gonna
take you in the house, and... get you a nice drink. ♪ (melancholy music) [Maime] Jeanie, get a bottle! ♪ (melancholy music) You watch your step
now...that's it. [Maime] Now, now, we're
gonna take you upstairs. You stay with Mamie, and
Mamie's gonna see that everything's all right, and
then we'll take you home. You've got a home,
ain't ya honey? Honey? - My husband has a father... - Oh, of course he's got
a daddy, darling, and we're gonna take you to him just as
soon as you feel like going. Come on, now. Now
you stay with Mamie, she's gonna make
everything all right. You'll see, it's
gonna be all right. Come on now...that's my girl. ♪ (sentimental music) [Maime snaps]
Well, where's the liquor? ♪ (sentimental music) Come on, there we go. Now lay yourself down, honey. Gimme that pillow. That's
it. Lay yourself down, baby. ♪ (sentimental music) - I don't know where my
husband's father lives. Somewhere... near here, but I... - Well you know
him, don't you? ♪ (sentimental music) Well now nevermind, you
just lay down and rest. We'll find him just as soon
as you feel like looking. Meanwhile you've
got a home with us just as long as
you wanna stay. Now you close them
pretty blue eyes of yours, and Mamie's gonna take good
care of you, just like a mother. Like your very own mother. - [Billy] Snakes is
only snakes according to which side of
the fence they's on. (horse snorts) Well go ahead, say
it, damn you! - [Ben] You expecting me
to say something, Billy? - That boy down there,
he didn't think like me. He had hisself a
woman, and a woman like that gives a man ambition. No matter how much
she'd argue against it, one day for sure
he'd come a-looking. Maybe next time his
guns don't slip... and I can't afford
to take no chances on one day turning out
to be a rabbit, right? - Well it was your party, Billy.
- Yeah, you bet. From start to finish. When a man's gonna cut
down William C. Cootes... he better try it from the back! (horse snorts) That sure as hell is the
truth, ain't it boys? Just move on out, a little
farther than usual... and keep that distance!
(nervous giggling) (nervous giggling) (stagecoach driver shouts) (stagecoach driver shouts) (stagecoach rattles) - Hold there! Hoooooo! (door clatters open) - Thank you.
- It's been a pleasure, Miss. ♪ (soft jaunty piano music) ♪ (jaunty piano music) ♪ (movie theme music)
