A Spirit-Filled Family Life - Zac Poonen - September 5, 2015

you know our theme is be filled with the holy spirit how many of you know where that verse occurs in the Bible in the New Testament be filled with the spirit nobody visions 518 okay Ephesians 5:18 and what's the big section that comes after that husbands and wives did you know that that immediately after it says be filled with the spirit in Ephesians 5:18 is first speaks about praising God which is a very natural result of being filled with the spirit giving thanks singing and making melody to your heart and to the Lord Friesians 5:20 and then it speaks about husbands and wives verse 22 to 33 children and parents chapter 6 verse 1 to 4 and in those days all homes had helpers or servants at home slaves and masters chapter 6 verse 5 to 9 so it's an entire section on the Christian home such as found never anywhere else in the Bible and it comes immediately after saying be filled with the holy spirit teaching us that if you are really filled with the spirit it'll lead to godly homes and also that if you want to build our godly home you need to be filled with the spirit and what comes immediately after this section on the Christian home the battle against Satan chapter 6 verse 10 to 18 that's also the only place in the whole New Testament res gives a detailed description of battle against Satan teaching us that the home is going to be the place where it's going to be maximum battle against Satan so think of this the whole section on the Christian home is sort of sandwiched on one side be filled with the spirit on the other side fight the devil very very important to recognize it so the section on the home begins with husbands be subject to your wives right no how many say no how many say yes you heard me before that's why you say yes okay I'll show you that verse Ephesians 5:21 husbands be subject to your wives is it there or not you didn't see it yet it is there many people don't read it they rush into verse 22 wives be subject to your husband's that's the reason why there's such a lot of problems because the whole section begins with be subject to one another then he goes on to wives be subject your husbands and the husband to the wife see the reason why it says that is in the fear of Christ we need to understand this in family relationships that God has drawn a boundary around every one of us the husband has got a boundary the wife has got a boundary and amazingly children have a boundary I should not go into their boundary in other words I cannot treat a child like a piece of furniture a piece of furnitures got no boundary I can treat it as I like throw it round and do whatever I like to it I can't do that to a child for example I'll give you one example if my child disappears as does something wrong in the presence of visitors I should not punish that child in the presence of those visitors because that becomes a double punishment its punished physically and then it's humiliated in the presence of others and that hurts that child more sometimes than the physical punishment so there's a boundary the child has which says don't humiliate me publicly dad when you punish me I used to discipline my children I would not even let other children come into the room nobody would be in the room when I discipline each of my children what they'd be only there so there are boundaries a wife has got her boundary she's got a respect about her it's not that she's a slave in heathen cultures a wife is a slave in many Western cultures the wife is a boss so both are wrong be subject to one another God has given different functions it's not that the husband is the only you know the husband cannot do certain things that the wife can do for example the husband can't bear children no matter how much you try it's not possible that's the function of the wife because she's equipped for that in the same way the wise must recognize the husband has been equipped to be the head of the house exactly the same way just like it's crazy for husband tries to marriage a little never happen but the wife can try to be the head of the home it creates problems because that's not what she's called - he's not equipped for it God has given us all distinct abilities and equipment for our particular function man for leadership and if a man does not exercise leadership he's violating the function which God gave for him it's very important to recognize that in our churches we teach what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 11 that a woman wails her head when she prays or prophesies teaching thereby submission to her husband is 1 Corinthians there are 16 verses on that in 1 Corinthians 11 and then there are another 16 verses on breaking a bread many take the second part and don't take the first part but we take the whole New Testament and so what I've said in our church is the woman wailing her head is a sign I am submitting to my husband and it was like that even in the United States of 100 years ago wives recognized they're to be submitted their husbands and almost in every church women wailed their heads but it all disappeared once the women's liberation movement came up and they said well we're equal and all the chaos that's come up in homes the amount of divorce it all came from there it came from that business of we are equal in God's eyes but our function is not the same just like I said one bearing children and one headship so what I said was a man must exercise the leadership of the home for example in the matter of children it says in Ephesians 6 verse 4 father's it doesn't say fathers and mothers fathers don't provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord do you know that primary responsibility is the father and if a father does not fulfill that function he's a useless father then the mother has to do it but if children don't grow up to fear God to respect older people to speak respectfully to older people the fault is 100% with the father that he's supposed to be the one was supposed to bring up don't leave leave that to the Sunday School no we had Sunday School in our children but I didn't leave the bring you up in my children to Sunday School I brought them up myself instruction means God's Word and discipline means when they don't obey what God's Word says so if a father is not taking that leadership I told people in our church you men should veil your heads and sit here be honest you're telling a lie when you keep your head uncovered and saying I'm the head when you're not the head at all when a man does not mean his head he's saying I am the head of my home that's significance there and so it's just as wrong for a man to keep an unveiled head and not be the head of his home as it's wrong for a woman to veil her head and not be a subject to harassment so it's important that we follow God's order you know whenever we buy some very very expensive equipment that costs twenty thirty thousand dollars supposing in some very expensive woman or something even less than that even it's something like a washing machine and a very complicated electronic one it's got an instruction booklet saying if you follow this instruction booklet your machine will work perfectly now if you're crazy enough to think either a manufacturer doesn't know what head or tail about this I know what to do with it and you go ahead and push the different buttons and the whole thing backs up and you take it for its within its warranty period the first thing the shopkeeper lost you did you follow the instructions and you say no I thought he was on manufactures all crazy I know what to do with this this is exactly what a lot of people do when they get married they don't follow the manufacturer's instructions the Bible God was the one who ordained marriage just like that manufacturer manufactured a washing machine you are humble enough to acknowledge that when it comes to the washing machine the manufacturer knows better than you why aren't we humble enough to acknowledge that God who instituted marriage also knows what is best for a marriage that when God says the husband is the head it's not because he thinks the husband is superior in fact Bible says that's why God made Adam first if he wanted the wife to be the head e2 made the Eve first if he wanted both of them to be equally to made them all together at the same time and not only that it says he took Eve from out of Adam to show their connection and you know that passage in Genesis 2 which says God said let let us make up it's not good for man to be alone as something very beautiful here if you read Genesis chapter 1 you see something there the first day God saw created the light verse 4 he saw it was good again you read in verse 10 he saw it was good again in verse 12 Genesis 1:12 it was good and again further down he you read a number of times verse 18 it was good and whereas 21 it was good and on the fifth day it was good and even in the beginning of the sixth day verse 25 it was good so you hear that it was good it was good it was good it was good it was good it was good and suddenly God says it is not good when was that it's not good for man to be alone so this is what happened it's good it's good it's good - everything's good when suddenly God says is not good for man to be alone and then when he's made a wife what is he saying in Genesis 1:31 it's very good so what is it that made the transition from not good to very good a married couple who accepted their place that the manufacturer had planned the woman was to be a helper I will make man a helper suitable for him verse 18 now sometimes a man can be very arrogant towards his wife and say hey I'm everything here you're just a helper God said that but it's not it only like that I mean you couldn't look and look at it like this that God said well this guy Adam would never make it if I don't make a helper for him so I better make a wife for him so all the question of how you look at it there's a complimenting in husband and wife you need to see that when young couples are engaged come to me before they get married I draw a little diagram for them and a piece of paper of an egg and I say now I'm gonna break this egg with my hand I'm not gonna neatly cut it I'm gonna break it with my hand and then I draw a picture of these two broken eggshells and you know how they look with a lot of pokey edges both of them and I said I want you to know that both of you are like this you got a lot of pokey edges to hurt each other but the wonderful thing is wherever there's a pokey edge here there's a depression there and wherever there's a pokey edge there's a depression here when you put it all together it just fits in perfectly what that means is that you have strengths where the other person has a weakness and you have weaknesses where the other person is strength when God brings people that's what it means a helper suitable suitable means one that fits in perfectly so many people complain my name husband say my wife is completely opposite to me I said that must have been the choice of God then definitely if your wife is exactly the opposite of yours perfect but a lot of people think that's something to complain about no it's a compliment one that fits in with each other and we did need to manifest to the world how wonderfully God brought us together and and even where there are problems you know God can so work in redemption and salvation that he can make bring us to that place where we recognize our mutual you know fitting in with each other where we make up for the weaknesses of the other person and our weaknesses are made by made up by the strength and the other person that's the type of home in which our children must grow and see what a wonderful thing it is to be married do you know there are many many children grown up in broken homes and divorced homes and not only that in homes where they have always seen parents fighting with each other because I've been shepherding for 40 years hundreds and hundreds of people I know what goes on in so many Christian homes there's a lot of fighting and yelling and quarreling and it affects the children you may not realize it when those children grow up one of the things that make children very insecure is when they've seen parents fighting a lot at home and it affects them there are children who say I never want to get married I heard that because I've seen what marriage is like in my home and I don't want to produce another home like that so in the midst of a world which is like that we need to build homes which are like a light completely different from that darkness where people can see how a husband and wife complement each other and value one another and fit in together to fulfill God's purpose it's not that husband and wife don't have disagreements they do have disagreements because we are imperfect there's no perfect person on earth and therefore there cannot be a perfect husband and wife everyone who whenever young men get married I said please remember you're marrying an imperfect wife she's marrying an imperfect husband it's marriages to imperfect people being brought together by God so that they can gradually make a marriage that becomes more and more perfect this is the wonder of redemption of salvation that it both are saved and loud and be and are filled with the Holy Spirit like we read in Ephesians 5 gradually they can come to a place where they demonstrate the relationship between Christ and the church so if you turn to Ephesians 5 it says there that husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church see when you read a husband should not be reading who wives be subject to your own husband's that verse is not meant for you husbands do you read other people's letters I hope not well this letter is not addressed to you husbands so when you come across when you read the scripture and you read wives be subject man you got to jump to the next verse you see that's not for me that's a letter for somebody else and when a wife comes towards 23 and over 25 she should say hey that's not addressed to me husbands love your wives but what you see very often is has been studying their why's hey you're supposed to be subject to me how did you know that you were not supposed to read that verse and the wife says but you're supposed to love me as Christ laughs that you how do you know that you're not supposed to read that verse well I'm only joking but it's serious that this is not your responsibility the Bible does not say husbands make your wife subject to you but that's how some people read it our wives make your husbands love you as Christ loved the church that's not what it says it's the wives responsibility to be subject as the husbands responsibility to love and don't be a busybody in other people's matters if you do your part God will do a wonderful thing in your partner we got to believe that even if a wife has got a very difficult husband who does not obey the Word of God it says in 1 Peter 3:1 how a wife should handle a husband who is disobedient disobedient that's a strong word imagine if you're married to a husband who's disobedient to the Word of God here's the verse for you you wives be submissive to your husbands 1 Peter 3:1 so that even if any of them are disobedient to the world they can be 1 1 means they can be brought to Christ without a world without one world by the behavior of their wives have any of your wives got disobedient husbands have you read this verse that without you're opening your mouth you can win your husband you don't believe that because you don't believe God's Word by your behavior not by your preaching a lot of wives try to win their husbands by their preaching and that usually leads to greater distance between them but to win them by your behavior by your conduct I'll tell your true story or what happened to a family in India where this god-fearing woman was married to a husband who claimed to be a believer but was not really a serious Christian so almost the first day after they married he said I want to go to the movies we're going to the movies today and she said I don't go to the movies sorry he said no you're my wife you got to come to the movies with me today what do you do then so she said okay because husbands wives we subject your husband's so she went and sat in the movie theater and closed her eyes for the entire two or three hours however long these movies go on they didn't see a thing and the husband whenever there was an exciting scene he would nudge her and see she was a sleeping ho almost eyes closed and whenever there's some of the exciting he'd always find her eyes closed he came home and said I'm so fed up I'll never take you to a movie again and he got converted later on by the behavior of their wives that was wisdom so is a true story and you can see how there are many many other examples like that when we think that we can only win people by preaching they're wrong how does God bring us to repentance by threats that's what a lot of preachers do threaten people they're going to hell show me one show me one sermon in the Acts of the Apostles one where people were converted by being threatened that they were going to go to hell I believe in hell I preached in it but let me tell you something take a concordance and look up the word hell and you'll find it's almost always preached to believers do you know where the hell comes first in the Bible in the New Testament in the Sermon on the Mount it's not spoken to unbelievers spoken to disciples if you get angry and allow that anger to come forth of the big mouth again and again you are in danger of going to hell if you lust with your eyes after a woman pull out your eye otherwise you can go to hell if you sin sexually with your hand cut it off otherwise you'll go to hell three times believers preach it to unbelievers Jesus preached it to believers so we have to see how does God bring people to repentance let me show you verse Romans chapter 2 and verse 4 Romans 2:4 says in the last part the kindness of God leads you to repentance so I mentioned that if your husband or wife is unconverted or not unconverted but perhaps a believer but you feel there are some serious areas where your partner needs to repent they're not godly in some area where you are godly or you imagine yourself to be godly how will you make your partner godly by kindness that's God's Way why not try God's Way you've tried all the other ways why not try God's Way now kindness by a kindness he leads us to repentance it's very important to understand this because we must recognize because we have a flesh in which dwells nothing good and to people like that come together there's going to be misunderstanding conflict and when you have children it's very important that you don't have your arguments in front of them never argue in front of your children reserve that for the time when your children are asleep and don't lock yourself up in the bedroom and continue that discussion but not in front of your children that's a bad testimony those are innocent children brought into the world by you don't spoil them from childhood itself listening to having to listen to your arguments so it's a very important principle if you follow can't you wait I mean the words not gonna collapse if you wait till bedtime before you do your discussion so why can't you wait a little or if your children are grown up we'll go for a walk and talk about it outside the house little little the principles that can save you know a lot of an unhealthy atmosphere at home we have to face the fact that we are different and there can be differences of opinion but a difference of opinion does not mean we have to be separated in spirit I don't think you'll ever find a husband and wife on earth who are completely agree I mean of husband can force his wife to agreement like in heathen cultures but they not agreed really from inwardly and but they can be one in spirit you can be one in spirit with someone you disagree with on certain things okay we hold a different view on that so what it doesn't matter we can still be one in our spirit we have that beautiful picture in Exodus 17 of Moses you know sitting at a stone which Phil spoke about yesterday and Aaron and holding up his hands it reminds me of what Jesus said two or three are gathered in my name they can bind the activities of Satan Matthew 18 verse 18 to 20 and that was what is happening Josh Arauco defeat people when these three were united but they were not agreed you know Aaron disagreed with Moses about the wife he married you read about that later on in numbers chapter 12 but when they were fighting the enemy Aaron wasn't discussing with Mara Moses hey what about your wife I'm not gonna hold of your hand because you you marry the wrong woman he their only point was this are all three of us agreed that I Malik should be defeated forget about my wife they said yes okay that's a point of unity so husband and wife are you agree that the devil should not enter your home that's enough are you agreed that Jesus Christ should be the lord of your home matter settled all the other things aren't important that is the point of our unity that's what you see there they were not discussing things which were irrelevant at that point a Moloch in the valley has to be defeated and we got to be united in that because you know whenever a gap comes between the husband and wife that's it so it's through a wedge that the devil puts in there because he wants to get in and both of you may be mature enough to handle the devil but your children are not his aim is to get your children and there are so many children who gone astray because the husband and wife allowed a gap to come between them they were not faithful to keep that unity between themselves now we can't do anything about the past but we can do a lot about the future that we preserve that unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace even in the church see I worked with fellow elders in Bangalore and my church the two of us started 40 years ago and here is my honest testimony in 40 years that this brother and I have worked together we have never once had a division never once you know been separated in our spirit disagreements many times and there will be in the future also but separation in our spirit not even once so I know from experience that we can have disagreements but we learned to work together in that and say for example in something in the church if he and I disagreed on something we'd say ok then we won't do it till we come to agreement because we're not going to have a conflict over this issue so it's very important that husband and wife also work together like that that it's the same principle I followed in my home for example if Annie and I had a disagreement on how what we should permit our children to do for example if they went to school and there to participate in something and we discuss is it right or wrong for us to let them participate in that if both of us not were not agreed in their participating in that function we'd say ok then we won't do it we won't let them participate we will allow them to participate in the function only both of us are agreed on it it's a protection that because one person alone cannot fully see all aspects of a situation and that's why God gives us fellow elders that's why I've never believed in a one man faster we work in so many churches in India every one of them has got plurality of elders there's no such thing as a one-man pastor in the New Testament because there must be a balance one balance is the other no one is perfect the only one who could walk alone was Jesus Christ nobody else we all need one another and so that's the image in a home the husband and wife are the elders and when we consider something for our children all for the home the husband and the wife must put together their views and come to a conclusion it's like the husband viewing a building taking a photograph of a building from the north side and the wife taking a photograph of the same building from the south side and you put it together they look completely different and they can have an argument there this is not the same building it is but she's taken a picture from the opposite side and when you put both together you get a better picture of the house then if you as a dictatorial husband forced your wife to come to your point of view then you both get a picture of the house from the north side you lost something and every husband was a dictator who forces his wife to have his point of view he's actually destroying his house he's lost out that opposite view that his wife can bring because he doesn't respect her hmm or it could be the other way around when a wife thinks that my husband's dumb he doesn't know anything and that's so wrong just because somebody's got another view doesn't mean they're wrong they are presenting another view of the same subject and it a discussion about some subject even if there's a disagreement must never become a point of argument and quarrel we must set things aside say okay we will discuss it further and we won't proceed forward till we are united see Ephesians four this is an advice that I often give to couples when they are getting married and many times in marriages in our church I have given this advice Ephesians 4 and verse 26 be angry but don't sin don't let the Sun set on your anger now in those days when they didn't have electricity sunset was the time people went to bed and what he was saying was don't go to bed angry that's a legitimate paraphrase of that verse whatever discussion you may have whatever disagreement maybe you're upset with each other you know a godly person won't let that anger go beyond five seconds he'll over comment but the sunset is sort of the outer limit God gives for those who are not wholehearted because God knows that most Christians are not wholehearted then okay as a allowance for you I allow you to keep your anger to the sunset but don't keep it beyond that the best thing is to get rid of it immediately I mean it's like you get a thorn in the foot you can wait till sunset to pull it out or you can pull it out immediately that's God gives you an option if you prefer to keep that thorn there poking you all the time little sunset for some reason do it the best thing sensible thing would be to pull it out immediately but sunset is the outer limit you know anger is like that you keep a thorn in your foot it causes an infection and you keep anger in your heart believe it or not this bus that forms around that in your heart and the longer you keep it the worse it becomes and sometimes it requires surgery pretty bad the best thing is pull it out immediately but here's the outer limit don't let it go beyond sunset so you know when newly married couples they take a little time to get over their anger every married couple knows that so I see okay allow for the fact that it'll take time if you take a few years perhaps for you to really be free from anger if you really wholehearted but until then make sure that your anger never goes beyond sunset even if the discussion has not come to a conclusion for example supposing you're discussing some subject and you haven't come to a conclusion on it okay it'll postpone the discussion till tomorrow but we're not going to go to angry so that's the advice I've given to young couples don't go to bed with anger apologize ask forgiveness and I also have to teach them how to ask forgiveness don't say you know the common way of asking for us if I've hurt you please forgive me that's not the way to ask it that that's like saying if you're I don't believe I did anything wrong but if you're stupid enough to think so then please forgive me it's an insult that's not the way to ask forgiveness the way to ask is I was wrong I'm sorry please forgive me what can I do now to set it right so I get you all to repeat it after me no I'm not gonna treat you like children I understand this that was my mistake I'm sorry please forgive me what can I do to set it right that was my mistake I'm sorry please forgive me what can I do to set it right that was okay okay you got it it'll revolutionize your marriage and say it meaning it don't just but never say if I have made a mistake forgive me no it's an insult to the other person because we do make mistakes you know the only person in the universe who doesn't make mistakes is God the only person in the universe is God who doesn't make mistakes and we're not God so till the end of my life I'll make mistakes I know that so I'm ready to the last day of my earthly life to acknowledge one thing I am NOT God is that difficult for you therefore I will make mistakes I made sometimes accidentally sometimes without even intending I'm due husbands and wives I mean the imperfect ones among us like me haven't you had the experience of sometimes saying something and it was misunderstood by the other party you never had such experiences and what do you do then how the person's hurt you see it is misunderstanding I never meant that true but it was misunderstood so what do you do if you accidentally supposing you're standing somewhere you step back and you accidentally step on somebody's foot what do you tell him well I didn't really mean to step on your foot so I'm not gonna apologize for that have you ever anybody done that you you I know you didn't mean it you accidentally stepped on somebody's foot but you still apologize any sensible person would do that so it's no use arguing about did I mean it or didn't I mean it the point is you got you hurt the other person even though you didn't mean it why can't you do the same thing you do when you accidentally step on somebody's foot I'm sorry that can happen frequently in a marriage and it's it's it's so easy to apologize there and air is cleared immediately you know how to test whether you and your partner have a good relationship after many many years I've come to this conclusion it's not by testing whether you can read the Bible together you you know very well that even when you have a conflict with each other you can still read the Bible together right and you can even pray together of course you don't mean what you pray but you just repeat some words when you have a conflict you can read the Bible together you can pray together you can eat together you can do many things together as one thing you can never do together when you have conflict you can't joke with each other you try it when you have a conflict and see if you can joke with each other it never never happens so I say the test of a good relationship is humor can you joke with each other then your relationship is good not only between husband and wife between brothers between sisters you know when you cannot say something funny and then both enjoy it believe it or not your relation is strained and don't convince yourself while we are praying together we're reading the battle together no I believe that's why God's given us humor it's like a safety round you know prevents explosions so use it I use it all the time rip with my fellow believers and at home and I have a wife who laughs at my jokes even if I'm saying it for the hundredth time I believe it's a it's a very important thing and I encourage you to use it more and we must have a happy time in our home and it's wonderful for children to see that and as children grow up that we can have the same humorous relationship with our children I still have that today with all four of my sons they can say funny things to me and I see if I think's to them that's how we build up a home where there's an atmosphere of love and care for one another and gradually over a period of time it becomes a little bit like heaven on earth want to give that as an inheritance to your children there are wealthy people in the world who can give thousands of dollars or hundreds of thousand dollars as an inheritance to their children but we can give the atmosphere of heaven that they have seen in our home as an inheritance to our children when they leave and I tell you that's the greatest inheritance we can give them because when they go out and start a home in their own they'll say I want to have a home like the one my dad and mom made for me I hope your children when they leave home will be able to say that I want a home where which has the same atmosphere as I had my parents home that'll be the greatest compliment even if you couldn't buy lots of things for them and give them all the things that other rich people could get for their children doesn't matter when we grew up my wife and I were very poor and we couldn't give a lot of things to our children that other people could give I I couldn't even go take them around in a car most my I used to take my children on a scooter for more than 40 years and I see that he didn't harm them because I say this is not the greatest inheritance I'm giving you see what you learned about godliness see what you learned about Jesus and see what you learn about heaven here in our home that's the inheritance my brothers and sisters the greatest thing that you can give to your children to your children and that's why it's very important the greatest thing you can do for your bringing up your children properly is to love your wife the greatest thing you can do to bring up your children properly is to love your husband you don't realize that but loving your partner is the most important thing you can do for bringing up your children properly and I want to say something else about relationships see the Bible says that in the household of God 1 Peter chapter 4 and verse 17 1 Peter 4:17 in the household of God it is time for judgment to begin and it begins with us first see that expression household means family the family of God we judge us first judgment begins with us first so think of your home is a family of God judgment must begin with yourself first see that's where the family of God is like a light in the midst of a dark world light is the opposite of darkness and a true wholehearted Christian his value system is exactly the opposite of people in the world people in the world value money so highly Christians use money but they don't value it like that and in fact in the world they put themselves first in everything you know that the world is full of people who say me first from childhood it's like that me first except in judgment when it comes to judgment they are ready to judge everybody else first they don't judge themselves that's how the world is that's darkness so what is the opposite of that light means we put others first in everything except in judgment where we put ourselves first so that's the household of God which is the opposite of the world so in other words the husband and I have got to set the tone in the home but each judging themselves first not judging the other person Lord where did I go wrong show me and each person really did I go wrong that will be the family of God and if you judge the other person a person as a family of Adam that's what usually happens and the sad thing is a lot of people who called himself in homes it's like Adams home not a Christian home it's not the home of Jesus Christ it's the home of the family of Adam which is me first and everything except judgment I judge you why did you do this why do you do that how many times I've told you not to do it and you still keep doing the same thing that's not the way to build relationships we judge ourselves first and also I learned something from you know Genesis chapter 3 from God you know we are to me the Bible says be imitators of God in Ephesians in chapter 5 be imitators of God and here's one way one place where we can imitate God when Adam and Eve sinned they messed up they violated God's plan and they created a serious problem in the Garden of Eden and God came in and asked Adam did you eat it did you eat the tree and he blames his wife there you see the beginning how when man's relationship with God is gone Adam sinned his connection with God was gone and what is the proof of it he doesn't judge himself he judged his wife God didn't ask him anything about his wife he asked Adam a simple question did you eat of the tree verse 11 I told you not to eat it's a simple question to which there are only two possible answers yes or no you know like some of these question papers we get we're thick yes or no but Adam doesn't take either of them he writes underneath third point Lord I gotta tell you about my wife she is the one who plucked the fruit and and don't forget you're the one who gave me this way you know indirectly blaming God as well have any of you ever said this Lord way why do you give me such a wife Adam said that first why do you give me such a husband this is the this is what happens on a man's connection with God is gone and whenever you say that you can say to yourself my connection with God is gone that's why I'm blaming my wife and that's why I'm indirectly blaming God why in the world do you know why in the world you give me such children or why in the world did you give me imagine I hope you will remember the moment you start blaming somebody else your connection with God is gone in your home and but God doesn't say anything further he leaves it he asks the wife did you what is this you have done she came out from Adam side so she's got the same nature it's not me Lord it's the snake the snake is the devil's the cause of all the problem it's so difficult for Adam and Eve to just say yes I'm sorry it was my fault just like we find I said today - so difficult to say it was my fault I'm sorry please forgive me how can I set it right Adam found it so difficult yes Lord it was my fault I'm sorry please forgive me what can I do to set it right he wouldn't say that so you see that that is Adam's nature and if you still have that and you recognize it that is Adam's nature he could not take the blame for his own and what do what but what do I see in Christ on the cross the exact opposite he could take the blame for sins he had never committed blame for the sins of others now I ask yourself are you in the tree of Adam on the trave of Christ we all say I am out of Adam I am in Christ I hope in this area which I just pointed out you have really come out of Adam and into Christ where you can even be willing to take the blame for something you didn't do isn't that wonderful something you didn't do that but it was supposing it was your husband and your partner's fault in something they did but they didn't realize it and they blame you for it isn't it good to just keep quiet and say okay you're a really great person if you can do that you know very well that he messed it up but you keep quiet because you don't want to make a big fight over that matter the unity of the Spirit is more important you know this is godliness it's very easy to follow what's going to happen if you okay let's fix it but the thing I wanted to show you here is again God doesn't say anything to Eve he blames the devil he says you are cursed he he punishes the devil first so what I see there is a husband and a wife I messed up something they're not willing to take the blame and God says to the devil you are cursed but not only that he provides a solution to the problem that's the wonderful thing I learned here that adamandeva messed up something they're destined to go to hell cast out of Eden but before God cast them out he says hey I want you to know that I found a solution to your problem the seed of the woman first 15 will crush the serpent's head that's he's talking about the coming of Christ to solve this problem that is caused by Adam and Eve sin so what I learned from that is supposing my wife has done something wrong or you see your husband has done something wrong or the children have done something wrong you know let's take for example our children maybe they messed up something and you had already told them to be careful don't jump on them immediately for what they did wrong first fix the problem then advise them how to do it next time but very often we immediately jump on them how many times I told you not to do it like that and do this this is a wrong speeds you know the Spirit of God what I learned from this is fix the problem first and then give the advice how to avoid making the same mistake next time you remember when Peter was walking on the water looking at Jesus and he turned his eyes away and it says he began to sink and he said lord save me did the Lord first give him a lecture on faith he to reach the bottom of the lake by the time the sermon was over he caught his hand solved the problem of sinking and then gave him the lecture why didn't you trust me there you see the same then that's God's Way a problem is created let me fix it and then we're going to how to avoid it next time it's a very simple thing you learned it from Scripture that's the way God did it that's the way Jesus did it you read about an incident I don't know whether you read the incident in 1 Samuel 17 when you get time read it David tells C King Saul when I was a shepherd looking after the Sheep a lion came and took one of the sheep in its mouth and you know what David did you know he went up and gave a lecture to the Sheep no he killed the lion and then pulled out the sheep from the mouth and then must have told the lamb okay he must be careful to stay with the flock next time everywhere I see this principle a godly person fixes the problem and then gives advice how not to do it next time it's a very simple thing you know it could be your wife who's done something wrong okay or your husband's done something wrong fine let's fix the problem and then and also don't pester a child keeping on telling that child Oh King he heard it why do you keep on pestering him with that information that this is the way they do it is the way there that's that shows your own irritation then you're not correcting you're just manifesting your irritation that you've said you've said the correct way to do it but you don't how would you feel you know there's a great verse which Jesus said do unto others as you would have others do unto you it's a wonderful verse treat your husband the way you want to be treated speak to your wife the way you want to be spoken to always like I heard of a wife who told her husband you know if you will only speak to me in the kind way you speak to strangers who come to our door that's enough that much is enough I mean ask yourself do you speak to your wife you know if you speak to strangers in a kinder wave they come to the door then you speak to your wife there's something seriously wrong there that means you can speak kindly even if a stranger came and wasted your time it's to speak kindly and say okay but we really need to control our speech here I believe there can be a great demonstration of the atmosphere of em in our home if we just control our tongue the Bible says let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt Colossians 4:6 so that's a very important thing and concerning this matter of blame I read a very beautiful article the other day which I just want to give you a gist of it it's written by an American lady in an American Christian I think it's a mag magazine where and this is our testimony she says I got fed up with my husband it was I got fed up with all his ways and the time had come I took my little baby and I wrote a note saying goodbye I'm leaving we are breaking up and she says I was I had am NOT coding in exactly what is the gist of it and I'm going to my parents home the parents live in the same town so she took her bags and went to her parents home and her mother was a very wise god-fearing mother she said now before you finally run away from your husband I want you to do something she gave her as she gave her a sheet of paper with the line drawn down the middle of that paper and she told her okay on the left side I want you to write all the things which are wrong in your husband she said I'm just itching to write that I can write a lot lots of things and then she thought and she wrote there he my father is the pastor in the church he sleeps when my father's preaching and he belches at the table and he does he throws his clothes around and doesn't put them away properly and he doesn't tell me when he's coming back late and many many things the normal things that has been his wives have complaints about number of things like that and he's very tight with money and doesn't allow me to spend much and different things like this and then she said I knew what my mother will ask me on the other side right his good points so she asked her mother he want me to write his good points on the other side and the mother said no I know your husband and I know his good points there's no need for you to tell me that now what I want you to do on the other side is against each point where you've written your husband does this husband does when does this I want you to write what was your reaction when he did that for each point what was your reaction sometimes you got angry sometimes you got upset sometimes you pout it and sometimes you gave him the silent treatment and the various ways in which he react you made made a list and then when she finished his list said my mother took her scissors and cut it up that middle line and took all the complaints against my husband crumpled it and threw it in the trash and said to her daughter take this list now of your reactions I look after your baby now go home spend a little time looking through these reactions for a little while and then come back and tell me if you still want to divorce your husband or not and when she looked at his list without the corresponding other side of what her husband was doing it looked so horrible how she was reacting in her words and language and many many different ways she came back and said thank you mom took the baby and went back home before her husband came back from work and decided to follow that advice of her mother and then she goes on to say when her husband some years later when her husband is in her in his forties maybe forty-eight or something he got Alzheimer's now most people don't get that in their 40s it's much later as I MERS means you lose your memory and you can't even recognize people gradually gradually comes you begin to forget and forget and forget and become so dependent on other people and ultimately you don't recognize your wife and he was she was so happy that she had learned these lessons before he got that and the one day her son came to her and said mom what do we do when that completely can't even recognize us and doesn't know who we are in the house and doesn't remember anything then she said to her son we will remember all the good things that our dad did do it for us and all the good things we can remember about him we will remember it then and she says he learned that because she had learned to stop complaining about all the wrong things life passes by so quickly some of you may know there's a big uproar now about a website where people can have an affair with women and one of the advertisements and a lot of people have been caught even somebody told me four hundred pastors were in that list secret affairs and the advertisement on that website was life is short have an affair I say life is short be kind to one another because you never know when something may happen what if your partner gets Al's Lammers what if your partner suddenly dies I remember reading a poem where a man said I never knew how good my wife was till the day she died and I realized how she had patiently borne with so many wrong things in my life how she would make my life easy in so many ways at home caring for me alas I never knew I took it all for granted because she was my wife I expected it and one day she was gone I suddenly realized I didn't have all that don't wait til that day happens if one day the Lord takes your partner you should be able to look back over a married life where you say okay in the beginning the early years of married life been blundered a lot but we came to a place where we decided we're gonna live in a godly way from now on and perhaps for some of you that days today that you've decided you're gonna live in a godly way so that your memories will be good if the Lord takes your partner quite apart from that that your children will see something has happened it's a wonderful thing we have a great responsibility to bring up our children in a way that the next generation can hear the word of God and that's why it's important for us to teach them God's Word and the principles of God's Word see once they begin to read you can give them a picture story Bible or I gave my children a thing called the picture Bible it's an excellent book the whole Bible in comic-strip form you get it on Amazon for a very cheap price and when my children were small I got them to read it so that they could understand the facts of the Bible right from Genesis to Revelation all in comic strip form the picture Bible and I would ask them questions from that saying like who was Moses mother I'm sure you all know his/her name or who was Moses father I'm sure you all know his name see most of us don't and I wanted to challenge them to get to know the facts of the Bible by reading it so they would read it and they would come back with the answer and then they got wise on to that and said we gotta catch dad in some things he doesn't know and they'd look up for something there and I remember one of them came to me he used to discuss this at our dining table while we were sitting dad do you know who was the general of joy of David's army I see I know who that is joy how was Joab related to David I don't know dad he was David's sister's son oh really I knew Joab was the son of zeruiah I never knew that zero I was the sister of David I don't know whether you knew that so I got some in instruction in the Bible too through this type of discussion but it stimulated that you know that they got interested reading the Bible and all of them read through it they got the facts of the Bible and that's helped them so much as they've grown up and then the principles of the Bible of course I could talk about when we're sitting around the dining table that why we don't tell lies why we don't fight back with people who fight with us why we don't cheat in our examinations and why we must always respect older people and speak respectfully even if they're tramps and beggars and homeless people must always speak respectfully to human beings always we must teach children to speak respectfully to everybody and with respect to older people don't call older people by their first names we taught that very clearly it's a mark of respect to use a respectful title brothers aunts or uncles aunts or mr. so-and-so a lot of that respect is gone in the world today because we're approaching the end of time where the devil's just brought a spirit of rebellion into everywhere you see that in factories schools colleges homes and in the midst of this darkness we have to build homes where our children respect their parents where they are upright basically in my home there were two things I emphasized very strongly in our home one is you must always speak respectfully to parents and to older people children honor your father and mother and obey them obedience and the other was never always to speak the truth I would take telling lies very seriously and I would I don't care what mistake you did even if you set fire to a house come and tell me I won't blame you but you broke something nothing in my home is valuable to me that I don't have a single valuable thing in my house that they can't break they can break everything but they must tell me the truth so it's very important from early childhood that we teach our children to speak the truth and to speak respectfully as a beginning scene these small things immediate obedience when I ask you to do something do it immediately that is obedience and it's a wonderful thing if you can bring up your children like that particularly because we live in a world of rebellion it doesn't mean that we don't give them freedom to think and also once they grow beyond a certain age we have to be merciful to them and not treat them like little you can't treat a Treen teenager like a five-year-old and I want to say to your parents spend time talking to your children when they're small I remember hearing a teenage 18 year old girl telling his mother telling her mother when the mother wanted to spend time talking to her and her reply was mom when I was 5 years old I wanted to talk to you you were busy doing this that and the other he would say wait wait wait I don't have time now I want to tell you I don't have time for you I've got other things to do don't wait till your teenager tells you that because when she was small you didn't have time for her I believe parents need to take time with their children you know I remember here reading a story of a man who had only one son and his wife had died and son had grown up and left the home and he was living alone in his home as an older man and he was looking through his attic and he found an old diary of his son when his son was 7 or 8 years old and with different things written on different dates and he thought hey I've got my old diary too he was a businessman with a very ordered life and he had his diary he said I want to compare my diary with this boy's diary on the same day and he looked up one date in his diary and he found went fishing with my son didn't catch a single fish absolute waste of time and he went to his son's diary on the same day went fishing with my dad best day of my life see the different you know different perspective and at the end of that story it's written love for your children is spelt time2go partner is spelt T I am particularly for children it's very important the reason why so many children are going astray is because their parents don't have time for them they don't sit and talk to them we don't homeschooling is not permitted in India our children went to regular schools but every time they came back from school my wife one reason my wife decided never to work even though she's a medical doctor she never worked one day in her life as a doctor to earn money she's never earned one cent she's helped hundreds of poor people but the reason we she stopped working was because he wanted to be a mother at home for our four sons and every day our children would come back from school I would be very often traveling preaching here and there and going out of town when the children came back she would talk to them and say how was it in school day how was your day today and each of the boys became very close to her and we could immediately see their you know when you go to school they pick up habits words which you can't blame them they don't even know what those words mean and so you got to correct them at a very early stage see whether they bring any books back from school that some child gave them which are not good for them to read if you keep a strict watch on them in a loving way they'll grow up to love the Lord and so you know I find maybe not so much in your myths but I find that in many homes nowadays there are women who go to work to make more money no I realize in some places in India they're so poor that a woman has to work just for survival then God understands and he'll give grace but where a woman's going to work just to raise the standard of living for luxury you may find that same grace is not there and then the children suffer I've seen numerous homes in India where husband-and-wife go to work and the children I don't have the attention they need and the result is seen when those children become teenagers just for the sake of little bit of money today I weigh in a balance for sons who are following the Lord and on the other side all the hundreds of thousands of dollars my wife could have earned as a doctor I know which is heavier that money is worth nothing millions of dollars are nothing compared to what if you lose your children there's a song we sing will the circle be unbroken in the sweet by and by the meaning is here today we are standing as a family father and wife and father and mother and children all holding hands when you get up to heaven will there be a gap in that circle one child missing because you didn't take time to lead that child to the Lord to show them godly ways we're living in a very evil world and we have to protect our children that watch all them very carefully there are sexual predators all over the most unexpected places who prey on little children we have to protect them and from other things from spiritual dangers that they face in the world and with the with computers now children have iPads and so many things and play on their games on their parents phones and really be very very careful as to what are they doing what are they watching what are they watching on their computers we've got to be extremely strict if we want to preserve our children to teach our young girls to dress modestly I told a young girl once in our church here's how you must dress supposing Jesus were in the next street and invited you one day to come for a walk with him in the marketplace Jesus physically how would you go with him in the marketplace how would you dress to go for a walk with Jesus in the marketplace where he can be proud to call you his sister I said that's the way you must dress every day wherever you go don't look at the standards of the world that's the way you must dress and I believe mothers must be an example there for their daughters may God bless you all let's pray Heavenly Father we believe with the power of your Holy Spirit we can build godly homes please help us we are weak but you are strong we lack wisdom but you have wisdom give every family here Lord wisdom to live in peace with one another and to raise godly children we pray in Jesus name Amen

Channel: River of Life Christian Fellowship

Views: 18,938

Rating: 4.97193 out of 5

Keywords: family, life, be, filled, with, holy, spirit, zac, poonen, sermon, rlcf, conference, 2015, river, christian, fellowship

Id: GbKDhmCa9uI

Length: 73min 51sec (4431 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 05 2015