Hey everybody! So we have been out of internet now since yesterday. First we were out of electricity from the day too late in the evening And then we never got back to internet And today is Monday and we still don't have an internet And just like a big cable that is broken, and we don't know when it's gonna be fixed. You know, when you live out here in the woods. You're not really prioritized when you get a problem with Internet or electricity or anything. So we don't really know when we're gonna get it back. Hopefully today or in the evening, or maybe tomorrow. We don't we don't really know. it's like the worst month when this can happen cause it's soon Christmas and there's so much to do And like all my job is depended on internets, and right now we can't even make a phone call. So if something would happen, you know, in the village you can't even call ambulance or anything. Grundjärn is totally disconnected from the world. And I mean, that's good in a way. Sometimes I really like when that happens But It's not really good when you have a lot to do because it just makes you feel so much more stressed. So now I'm on my way to the closest village, you know, Myckelgensjö. You have heard about it before in earlier vlogs. That's the place where I rented a house for my studio last year or actually earlier this year and, that's where my beautiful cow, "Hana", lives during the winters. So I'm gonna go there now and see if they have Internet and phone connection Because I need to make some calls. Why did this happen now? Why now? it's December! All right, I'm gonna continue driving. Now I'm here in Myckelgensjö just outside their... Little store, they have a little grocery store here. I think it might be the best grocery store in the world because it's super small, but they have so many things. And it's a very tiny village. it's only like 70-80 people living here and it's really hard for small villages like this to keep a grocery store alive. But the people that live here They are really, you know, fighting for it. They have give up their time and energy to make it work. And I think that's amazing. Finally have internet again, but they have also been out of internet and electricity. They just got it back. I just wrote to Fryda now And she's the farmer that lives here. She has a farm where my cow "Shanna"... Hana lives Oh, it's so hard to speak Swedish and English sometimes at the same time Because the words ponunciation is so different. She asked if we should take a "fyka" You know, take a coffee. Oh my God! the weather is just so boring today. It looks so grey! Hopefully it'll be colder soon. Hey, Hana! Hey, come on! [Music] [Speaking in Swedish] [Music] That was a nice "fyka" with Fryda. It was good to see her again. It was a long time now, and it was really good to see my cow as well. I can't wait to have her back in Grundtjärn in the summer again, in the green fields. Now I'm on my way home again. Hopefully we have internet now, but I don't think so. A crisis meeting. We still don't have an Internet. And we have a lot to do, but we can just sit here and drink some coffee. Internet is still dead. Yeah! Give me five. Yeah! Okay, I'm gonna go and see if they're working with the cable out in the forest Me and my mom is gonna take the car. Hey Doesn't seem like there are any cars here so... Probably they are not working on this yet. We need to be careful because the cable had fallen on the ground. As usual, every day we go in here because we... We actually keep the fire alive all day. Unless when we're sleeping. There was actually someone that watched my blog that saw all the wood and he was like: "Wow, that's wood for so many years and so many people!" And I was like what? No, this is enough wood hopefully for this winter. Yes, it was all the way here. Actually, we don't have so much wood left now, when I look. Oh no! What?! it's only December! I haven't actually thought about that until I look now when I was talking about this. It's only December and we have to keep the fire alive until May. At least we need it for January, February, March and April. No, me neither. What are we gonna do? As you see, it takes a lot of wood to keep the house warm. It's Lucia tomorrow and I think this is the first year ever That I haven't had any time at all to prepare something for Lucia. It's eh, it's cold outside today. It's minus 25 Celsius degrees right now. But it's beautiful as always. It's like when it's super cold, is always super beautiful. It seems like the camera is getting a bit weird. I don't know if... Under the display. It looks like the camera is drunk or something. I guess the cold it's not so good for the camera equipment [Speaking in Swedish] What are you doing? Shoveling. Tomorrow the "chimney cleanser" comes. [Speaking in Swdish] The one who cleans the chimneys comes and we have to... Shovel away for him so he can come up to the roof. And also we have to move the ladder. So... Love your hat. [Music] So, good morning!
it's a new day and it's almost minus 30 degrees. Ah, so refreshing! "No mosquitoes" as we say here in the North. When is... it's this cold It's like when you breathe, the nostrils? Do you say that? The nostrils "drimp." "drimp"? "shrimp"? How do you say "krympa"? Shrink. Shrink! [Music] Welcome to Grundjärn, a warm and cozy paradise! Hey, "Mr. Coldie." How beautiful, isn't this? You should always have it like this. And that you're also beautiful babe, oh! Unbelievable how they can take it with their little paws. Yeah So, you know it's very cold outside and inside when these one freezes to ice. Roseship soup again! So the time is 12 in the day now, and the Sun just "rose"...rose? And in a little while, it's gonna go down again. I just feel so happy with the sunlight, though... Okay. We're outside now. Right, I really hope the camera can take this because it's really cold outside now it's like 26 - Celsius degrees. I've been struggling so hard with this vlog. Because of this scene that I'm taking now Where I sit down and talk to you. And that's because I felt that I really needed to... to share something with you. Because we are in a situation that just drains me so much That made me feel so depressed lately. And I just be feeling so sad. And I mean, I don't need to share it with you. But if I don't do that, I feel like I can't continue... Vlogging in a way because It's easier when I just do a blog post. It's easy to not say everything And It's just something with vlogging that It's... it feels like I open up so much more because you get to see me, you hear me. I share so much more than I do in my normal blogs, as I usually do. And it feels more important to me to to be honest with stuff. Especially things that really affect me and our lives. So yeah, I've been struggling so much with this because this is the third time I tried to record this And I did several days ago. I tried to sit down and talk and share, you know, my feelings and what's going on. But it's just, I just complicated everything so much. I talked for so long, but I missed out some things And I was too sensitive. I mean, I still feel the same feelings, but I feel more stabilized now. Maybe I can just share with you what I feel without making me it's too long and too complicated. And also, I mean this is not a super serious thing, but it's very... Huge for me and for Johan, and for people living here. So there is a big reason to why I felt so sad lately. I mean there's many small reasons as well. It just feels like a shitty time right now. I'm stressed out and there's so much to think about and I feel no inspiration, and... But it is all because of this big reason. I mean, it affects all aspects of my life. So, to explain to you in the best way what's going on I have to start seven years ago. Seven years ago I lived here, I have lived here for one year. I had survived my first winter And I mean, life was good. I was starting with photography and writing in a blog and... But that summer, all the people that lived here in this village and other villages around We got some... Terrible news. There was this big company called Fosca, That had sent in an application to the municipalities here. They wanted to build the biggest wind turbine park in Sweden. Here, on the other side of the lake. Llike two or three kilometers from here. And I mean I guess it would be fine with 5,10 wind turbines but this was over 200 wind turbines. And they would be 210 meters tall. With flashing intensive white lights and they would build over a hundred kilometres of roads in the forest. I have so hard to find the words but... There's so much I want to say about this Llike the wind turbine industry is a sensitive subject, I know that. But making so big industries in this... Beautiful nature areas. I mean, we were shocked. There were so many people that were shocked. The people living here, And the Sami people that have their reindeers here during the winters. This is why this is so hard to speak about, because I feel like I want to talk so much about... There's so much to say about this. But okay. I mean, I knew from that day that I might need to move away from here, Because if they're gonna make the biggest industry in this area, I'm not gonna be able to live here. Where many people they're not gonna be able to stay, But it was a long process. They got "yes" from all the municipality. But people were fighting against and trying to... To say "no" and the process went further to I don't even know how you say, like our authorities or instance. For seven years I thought about this wind turbine park every day. For seven years, I every day thought that I might need to move away from here. It's been a torture for seven years. Because I've never known if I can stay here. I don't know if I could have my future here. I love this place so much Because of so many things For the nature for, I have my roots here. It's just so much love for this place and it's been such a pain to go through this and not to know. So when I met Johan three years ago We were struggling a lot as well, because when we met, we both felt like we, you know. We started planning our future, we wanted to we jumped about having bigger house We dreamt about, you know, having plans for the future But we felt that we could not even renovate our living room. Because... We wanted to know first that, can we stay here? So for a while me and Johan, it was like: Can we start every year? We were like: How long is this process gonna take? We just wanted to know. But then, in the spring this year We got the wonderful news. That the company had got a "no" from the last authority or instance? I don't know what to call it in English. But the reason was not because of... They would destroy the nature or move away the land for the Sami people and the reindeers or... For yeah for destroying the nature area. It was not because of that. The reason was something about the placement of the wind turbines. They had not done the application well. So they got a "no". I will never forget that feeling, that relief. Me, Johan, my mom. We were just screaming out of happiness And I just felt that I moved here for the first time, in a way. I felt that: Okay... Now I live here, and I know I have my future here. I can continue live here And I don't know, we were just so happy. So yeah, this was half a year ago And since then we just knew that we can stay here And so we have, you know, made a lot of plans and dreams about the future How we're going to continue our lives here And It just have been feeling so amazing, especially lately. I know, I've been mentioned in earlier vlogs, that so much exciting things are happening. And I've just been so happy Because just a while ago, we found out that we might have a chance to buy our dream house here. It's like a little farm, It's super old and beautiful And there's an old barn that we was planning to run away to have our jewelry making And packing the planes and, you know, everything like that. And I dreamed about that for so many years. And now we saw a chance that this might be true. We can continue live here, in the house we love. We can continue doing what we love and we have space for it. We don't need to rent a lot of houses everywhere. We can have our own little place. Yeah, I don't know. I just felt so incredibly happy, so incredibly happy. And that's why I said that this is gonna be an exciting year, 2018. Because probably a lot of things will happen That will be... you know, be really good for our lives And that I want to share with you. But... So it was about one week after we... Found out that we might be able to buy her dream house and... You know, the barn and everything. All our dreams. One week after that, we got some terrible news. The company Fusca Was gonna send in a new application for the huge wind turbine industry here. They were gonna redo the process again. And I knew that now they might get a "yes" because they have fixed the placement of the wind turbines. I can't even describe in words how... how I felt after that. I mean, the first week we got to know about it It was still like a bit unreal and I, we both, and we all thought that You know, that this can't happen. The municipality should say "no" now Because they also continue to build hundreds of these winter beans like everywhere in the nature areas around the north of Sweden. That's a big problem. I mean, they don't build them where they need them They build them in this nature areas because there's too few people to complain. The first, I was a little bit positive about this. I thought that: "No. No, I mean this can't happen." Then last week we read in the newspaper, I think. That the municipalities around here are gonna invest even more in wind turbines park. So last week when we found out about this It felt like our world just fell apart. My heart broke because... You know, we might need to move away from here. And you know, it just came in the worst timing ever. Okay. Most people that live out here, we will live here for one reason And that reason is... nature The silence The night sky because there's no light pollution The beautiful seasons. You know, the quality that you get here. I guess most of you understand what I mean because you have, maybe seen my films or my photos You know, there is something special with places like this that are far away from from cities, from noise, from light pollution. There's something magical about it. You feel connected to something that I think... Many people today have forgot. We are so disconnected and I've been that too, you know. I used to live in a city and I felt so far away from what I was longing for. So, we have this beautiful nature outside. We have these cold winter days And the Northern Lights on the sky But you also have to pay a big price to live here, you know. You you have to prioritize away a lot of things in your life I mean, you have to drive far to get to the grocery store And if you've got to go to the city takes a whole day And the roads are so crappy Both in the wintertime and in the summertime. The phone reception is awful and the Internet is super slow. And if you live in an old house like we do, you have to spend like the whole winter trying to keep warm. I mean, it's a lot of struggle to live here. It's not easy, It's not romantic at all. But it's all about what you choose to see. And the city can offer you a lot. It can give you a very comfortable life if you, you know Have a good place to live and you live close to everything. But that doesn't interest me at all because I want this. So I have prioritized away all the good things that the city can give you to have this. And most people living here They have done the same, you know. We only live here because of this one reason. So that's why this hits us so hard. It's because if this wind turbine industry is gonna pop up here Then that one reason is taken away from us. There's no reason for us to live here anymore. There will be no silence anymore. There won't be this amazing night skies Because there will be so much light pollution all over this place. There will be explosions in mountains And the Sami people, the indigenous people of Sweden and Norway, and Finland They can't have their reindeers here anymore in the winters. And all these things that matters a lot to us is gonna be taken away. So there's no reason to live here anymore. But I think what hurts me the most is... The nature here. The wildlife that is going to be destroyed. Because I know we can move, we can still be all right, you know. We can still survive, but the forest can't. This place will be nothing what it is today. And that's what hurts me. Because there is not so many places like this no more. It's very hard to find a place That is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears. Often when people come here for the first time.
The first reaction is the silence. They're like, they have never been in a place that are so quiet And I understand that because it's hard to find. I just can't stop wondering why... Why the municipalities up here don't see the value in the nature. They don't care about what people here think, they don't care about how much people love this place, And they don't care about the animals or the Sami people. They don't care about us at all. You know, the northern parts of Sweden has been treated very bad by Sweden for many years. Because, you know, there's not so much people to live up here. Up here there is... they are beginning to use the northern parts of Sweden More like energy industry and not energy for the people living up here. But they take it down to the big cities or sell it to other countries. Like the energy they will get from this wind turbine park here It's not for Sweden actually, It's for Germany. And I mean, well you can talk about helping each other. I mean, it's nothing wrong about that But it's just that why... Why on earth are they doing it here? Why are they continuing to kill the nature? It just breaks my heart Becuase there are already so many places in a closed cities where there is already noise There is already traffic,
there is already light pollution. Why not put them where they have already destroyed the land? I mean, now I've talked about this for so long again Because it's a heavy subject and I totally understand that this might not interest so many of you. But I guess I do it for me Because I need to be honest with you. Maybe the municipality will say "no" and there will be nothing. I would be so happy. Where as so many people here that would be so happy. I don't really dare to hope that they will say "no" Because why would they? There's so much money in this. Oh, in January we have a meeting with some of the politicians and the municipality. I hope that we will get an answer of what they think. So we know. Because we are not ready to wait anymore.
We're not ready. So if we get a feeling that This will be a long process then then we will try to get away from here And I have no idea where we will go. This thing have dragged me down so much lately. I've been crying every day because of this, because I just feel so lost. And I mean, there is bigger problems in the world than this, but for us... Personally, this is affecting us so much, of course. Because we don't know if we can stay here. So now you know, now you know. And of course I will let you guys know If anything happens, you know.
I will keep you updated, of course. What I hope with this video is also that Whether you are positive or negative to wind turbines. I hope you get a perspective from someone that You know, need to move because of these parks. Because it's happening in so many places now. I'm sorry, the battery died again. So yeah, this is making me feeling really depressed right now, and it's like two parts of me. Because one part of me knows that, you know Everything is gonna be alright and everything is alright in a way, I mean. If you compare to other things.
I mean, we're all healthy, we have food, we have warmth. Everything is ok and we will be ok no matter what. This sad feelings, I can't control them. It's like a sorrow, I think. Many mornings now, I don't even feel like go up Because I feel like everything is meaningless. And it's a sorrow, it's made me really depressed. I guess that's how it is when you might lose something that you love so much. And also, of course, when something bad happens other things comes as well. The other day I discovered that one of my absolute favorite forests... Were gone. This have happened to me Three times now. You know, we have a lot of forest around here But not all forests are the same. You can find these more old forests that has very good energy. Yeah, you know. And... During the years I've lost two of my favorite forests
that I loved so much. You know, this places where I've gone to take photography many times and You know, they just have something special Now I had this forest that I called my Kulning forest. I always go there in... You know, the summertime, or spring, or autumn. Whenever it's not snow. Because it's like five minutes from the village and you drive a road And there's this beautiful forest with beautiful big rocks. Yeah, It just has something special
and I always go there to practice Kulning Because I don't want to be in the village when I sing Because I don't want people to hear me when I practice. So I always go there and I often bring Nanook,
you know. I eat berries and just love life. So this forest I have been going to almost every morning and every night for so many years. And now, when I drove by that little road the other day The forest was cut down. There was not a tree left. I don't know, I just got so sad And that's also a sorrow for me right now that the forest is gone. Every time I've lost a forest that I love, it feels like losing a friend. Literally, you know. If I'm sad I go to that forest or I'm happy or I'm singing, you know. I share so much things in the... with that forest, in a way. And when it's gone you just feel it's so strong Because you can feel that they are not there anymore. I wasn't ready for this. Not now. I mean... I'm aware of this forest industry. I just thought that I would have this one at least for a couple of years. Do you see the stone there in the middle? it's covered with snow now, but I did a little video once sitting on that stone Playing with the fire weed seeds. It's not as beautiful as it used to be. So, I mean in the middle of this bad news for the wind turbine parks The forest hits really hard as well. I feel so empty now. I don't have it anymore. I'm just so relieved that I finally... Got to say what I wanted to say. And now you know that my heart is very heavy right now. I'm gonna try to just take one day at a time. Now, I think I'm gonna go inside and
I'm finally gonna start to edit this vlog. It took me so many days. I can't believe this. Sometimes it's just so hard to talk about things that are sensitive or thinks that affects you so much. And if you have not listened to all of this, it's totally fine. I understand that this is not super interesting. And if you have listened Thank you so much that you did,
that you want to hear my feelings. Listen, it means a lot. It really means a lot. If you are struggling with something too Which I guess many of you do. I mean, we're humans. We feel a lot. I just want to send you a big hug and... Also, let you know that everything is gonna be okay. No matter what. Let's stay strong. Okay? Let's continue to follow the flow. That's what I've heard. Okay, my sweet friends. No matter where we are in Sweden, United States, Russia... Canada, India! I mean, you are from so many places. I hope you are having a wonderful weekend Because it's Friday today. And... Yeah, I see you very soon. Okay? And thank you again for watching my video. You are the best. Bye bye!
