A Dire Warning From Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

now I'm going to read a short story by Kurt vonet Jr called Harrison Bergeron the year was 2081 and everyone was finally equal they weren't only equal before God in the law they were equal Every Which Way nobody was smarter than anybody else nobody was better looking than anybody else nobody was stronger or quicker than anybody else all thise equality was due to the 2011th 212th and 213th amendments to the Constitution and to the unceasing vi vigilance of Agents of the United States handicapper General some things about living still weren't quite right though April for instance still drove people crazy by not being Springtime and it was in that clammy month that the HG man took George and Hazel Bergeron's 14-year-old son Harris in the way it was tragic all right but George and Hazel couldn't think about it very hard Hazel had a perfectly average intelligence which meant she couldn't think about anything except in short bursts and George while his intelligence was way above normal had little mental handicap radio in his ear he was required by law to wear it at all times it was tuned to a government transmitter every 20 seconds or so the transmitter would send out some sharp noise to keep people like George from taking unfair advantage of their brains George and Hazel were watching television there were tears on Hazel's cheeks but she'd forgotten for the moment what they were about on the television screen were Beller a buzzer sounded in George's head his thoughts fled in panic like bandits from a burglar alarm that was a real pretty dance that dance they just did said Hazel huh said George that dance it was nice said Hazel yep said George he tried to think a little bit about the binas they weren't really very good no better than anyone else would have been anyway they were burdened with sash weights and bags of birdshot and their faces were masked so that no one seeing a free and graceful gesture or pretty face would feel like something the Cat Dragged In George was toying with the vague notion that maybe dances shouldn't be handicapped but he didn't get very far with it before another noise in his ear radio scattered his thoughts George winced so did two out of the eight Bell Arenas Hazel saw him Wiz having no mental handicap herself she had to ask George what the latest sound had been sounded like someone hitting a milk bottle with a ballpen hammer said George i' think it would be real interesting hearing all the different sounds said Hazel a little envious all the things they think of said George only if I was handicapper general you know what I would do said Hazel Hazel as a matter of fact bore a strong resemblance to the handicapper General a woman named Diana moong glampers if I was Diana Moon glampers said Hazel I'd have Chimes on Sunday just Chimes kind of in honor of religion I could think if it was just chimes said George well maybe make him real loud said Hazel I think I'd make a good handicapper General good as anybody else said George who knows better than I do what normal is said Hazel right said George he began to think glimmeringly about his abnormal son who was now in jail about Harrison but a 21 gun salute in his head stopped that boy said Hazel that was a doozy wasn't it it was such a doozy the George was white and trembling and tears stood on the rims of his red eyes two of the eight ballerinas had collapsed to the studio floor and were holding their temples all of a sudden you look so tired said Hazel why don't you stretch out on the sofa so as you can rest your rest your handicap bag on the pillows honey bunch she was referring to the 47 lbs of birdshot in a canvas bag which was padlocked around George's neck go on and rest the bag for a little while she said I don't care if you're not equal to me for a while George weighed the bag with his hands I don't mind it he said I don't notice it anymore it's it's just a part of me you've been so tired lately kind of wore out said Hazel if there was just some way we could make a little hole in the bottom of the bag and just take out a few of them lead balls just a few two years in prison and $2,000 fine for every ball I take out said George I don't call that a bargain I if you could just take a few out when you came home from work said Hazel I mean you don't compete with anyone around here you just sit around if I tried to get away with it said George then other people would get away with it and pretty soon we'd be right back to the Dark Ages again with everybody competing against everybody else you wouldn't like that would you I'd hate it said Hazel there you are the minute people start cheating on laws what do you think happens to society if Hazel hadn't been able to come up with an answer to this question George couldn't have supplied one a siren was going off in his head reckon it all fall apart said Hazel What would said George blankly Society said Hazel uncertainly was wasn't that what you just said who knows said George the TV program was suddenly interrupted for a News Bulletin it wasn't clear at first as to what the bulletin was about since the announcer like all announcers had a serious speech impediment for about half a minute and in a state of high excitement the announcer tried to say ladies and gentlemen he finally gave up and handed the bulletin to a ballerina to read That's All Right Hazel said of the announcer he tried that's the big thing he tried to do the best he could with what God gave him he should get a nice raise for trying so hard it might be easy to just toss all of your discipline to the side for the summer but a life of greatness doesn't happen by taking the easy route the Hallow app offers an incredible range of guided meditations and prayers that are designed to help you deepen your spirituality and strengthen your connection to God with hallow you can embark on a journey of exploration diving into different themes and types of prayer and meditation from gratitude to forgiveness each session offers a unique experience sparking your curiosity and deepening your spiritual understanding you can choose different lengths of meditation to fit your schedule whether you have a few minutes or an hour with its userfriendly interface and hundreds of guided meditations the hall app has quickly become a go-to resource for people seeking spiritual growth and healing you can download the app for free at hall.com Jordan it allows you to set prayer reminders and track your progress hallow is truly transformative and it'll help you connect with your faith on a deeper level don't lose your prayer habits this summer maintain your peace and deepen your relationship with God download the Hallow app today at hall.com Jordan for an exclusive 3month trial that's hall.com Jordan ladies and gentlemen said the ballerina reading the bulletin she must have been extraordinarily beautiful because the mask she wore was hideous and it was easy to see that she was the strongest in most graceful of all the dancers for her handicap bags were as big as those worn by 200 lb men and she had to apologize at once for her voice which was a very unfair voice for a woman to use it was a warm luminous Timeless Melody excuse me she said and she began again making her voice absolutely uncompetitive Harrison Burger on age 14 she said in a grackle squawk has just escaped from jail where he was held on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government government he is a genius and an athlete is underhanded and should be regarded as extremely dangerous a police photograph of Harrison berson was flashed on the screen upside down then sideways upside down again then right side up the picture showed the full length of Harrison against a background calibrated in feet and inches he was exactly 7t tall the rest of Harrison's appearance was Halloween and Hardware nobody had ever been born nobody had ever borne heavier or handicap he'd outgrown hindrances faster than the HG men could think them up instead of a little ear radio for a mental handicap he wore a tremendous pair of earphones and spectacles with thick wavy lenses these spectacles were intended to make him not only half blind but to give him wanging headaches besides scrap metal was hung all over him ordinarily there was a certain symmetry a military neatness to the handicaps issued to strong people but Harrison looked like a walking junkyard in the race of life he carried 300 lb and to offset his good looks the HG man required that he wear at all times a Red Rubber Ball for a nose keep his eyebrows shaved off and cover his even white teeth with black caps at snaggle tooth random if you see this boy said the ballerina do not I repeat do not try to reason with him there was the shriek of a door being torn from its hinges screams and barking cries of consternation came from the television set the photograph of Harrison burgal on the screen jumped again and again as though dancing to the tune of an earthquake George buron correctly identified the earthquake and well he might have for many was the time his own home had danced to the same crashing tune my God said George that must be Harrison the realization was blasted from his mind instantly by the sound of an automobile Collision in his head when George could open his eyes again the photograph of Harrison was gone a living breathing Harrison filled the screen Clank clownish and huge Harrison stood in the center of the studio the knob of the uprooted Studio door was still in his hand bina's technicians musicians and announcers cowered on their knees before him expecting to die I am the emperor cried Harrison do you hear I am the emperor everybody must do what I say at once he stamped his foot and the studio shook even as I stand here he bellowed crippled hobbled and sickened I'm a greater ruler than any man who ever lived now watch me become what I can become he tore the straps of his handicap harness like wet tissue paper tore straps guaranteed to support 5,000 lb his scrap iron handicaps crashed to the floor Harrison thrust his thumbs under the bar of the padlock that secured his head harness the bar snapped like celery Harrison smashed his headphones and spectacles against the wall he flung away his rubber ball nose revealing a man that could have OD Thor the God of Thunder I shall now select my Empress he said looking down on the cowering people let the first woman who dares rise to her feet claim her mate and her throne a moment passed and then a ballerina arose swaying like a willow Harrison plucked the mental handicap from her ear snapped off her physical handicaps with marvelous delicacy last of all he removed her mask she was blindingly beautiful now said Harrison shall we show the people the meaning of the word dance music he commanded the musicians scrambled back back into their chairs and Harrison stripped them of their handicaps too play your best he told them and I'll make you Barons and dukes and Earls the music began it was normal at first chilly cheap silly and false but Harrison snatched two musicians from their chairs waved them like batons as he sang the music as he wanted it played he slammed them back into their chairs the music began again and was much improved Harrison and his Empress merely listened to the music for a while listened Gravely as though synchronizing their heartbeats with it they shifted their weight to their toes Harrison placed his big hands on the girl's tiny waist letting her sense the weightlessness that would soon be hers and then in an explosion of joy and grace into the air they sprang not only were the laws of the land abandoned but the law of gravity and the laws of motion as well they reeled World swiveled flounced capered gambled and spun they leaped like deer on the moon the Studio ceiling was 30 ft high but each leap brought the dancers nearer to it it became their obvious intention to kiss the ceiling they kissed it and then neutralizing gravity with love and pure will they remained suspended in air inches below the ceiling and they kissed each other for a long long time it was then that Diana Moon clampers the handicapper General came into the studio with a double barrel 10 gauge shotgun she fired twice and the emperor and the empress were dead before they hit the floor Diana Moon clampers loaded the gun again she aimed it at the musicians and told them that they had 10 seconds to get their handicaps back on it was then that the burger On's television tube burned out Hazel turned to comment about the block out to George but George had gone out to the kitchen for a can of beer George came back in with the beer passed while a handicap signal shook him up then he sat down again You' been crying he said to Hazel yep she said what what about he said I I forget she said something real sad on television what was it George said it's all kind of mixed up in my mind said Hazel forget sad things said George I always do said Hazel that's my girl said George he winced there was the sound of a riveting gun in his head gee I could tell that one was a doozy said Hazel you can say that again said georgei said Hazel I could tell that that one was a doozy Harrison Burger on is copyrighted by Kurt vonet Jr 1961 [Music]

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Id: F_IKlxlwuG4

Length: 13min 48sec (828 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 08 2024