a delicate balance

you you but what i find most astonishing aside from that belief of mind which never ceases to surprise me by the very fact of his surprising lack of unpleasantness the belief that i might very easily as they say lose my mind one day now that i suspect i'm about to or am even nearby there is no senior woman on earth for i'm not that thought merely that it is not beyond happening some gentle loosening of the moorings sending the balloon a drift and i think that is the only outweighing thing a drift becoming a stranger in the world quite uninvolved for i never see it as violent only adrifting what what are you looking for to pass we'll all go mad before you the answer thank you darling what i find most astonishing aside as i said from that speculation and i wonder too sometimes if i'm the only one of you to admit it not that i may go mad but that each of you wonders if each of you might not why on earth you want the there i thought it might be nice ziggy how do cognac supposed to be healthy the speculation oh the assumption i suppose that if it occurs to you that you might be then you're not but i've never been much comforted by it follows to my mind that since i speculate i might someday our early evening i think more likely some autumn dust go quite bad then i very well might some autumn dusk tobias at his desk looks up from all those awful bills and sees his dagness from there's a hat chewing the ribbons on her chest cognac magnus sit by the fire her mouth full of ribbons her mind a loft adrift nothing to do with a poor old thing but put her in a bin somewhere sell the house move to doosan say and pile in the good sun and live to be 104. thank you darling cognac is sticky too but it's nice to sit bobby huh to my mad lady ribbons dangling and of course i haven't worn the ribbon dress since julia's remarriage second oh no no first tom not uh not uh uh charlie comfortable for a little what astonishes me most aside from my theoretically healthy fear no no fear oh silly of me healthy speculation that i might someday become an embarrassment to you what i find most astonishing in this world and and and with all my gear says claire claire that anyone be they one sister not could be so well i don't want to use an unkind word because we're where we're we're cozy here aren't we maybe as the same has it the one thing sharper than a serpent's tooth is a sister's ingratitude the saying does not have it that way should why are you moving it's getting uncomfortable things get hot move off huh yes i'm not as young as either of us once was i'm as young as the day i married you though i'm certain i don't look it because you're a very good husband most of the time but i was talking about claire was beginning to yes you were if i were to list the mountain of my burdens if i had a thick pad and a monster spare that bending my shoulders most with with the possible exception of julia's trouble with marriage would be your it must be instinctive i think or or reflex that's more like it your reflex defense of everything that clear stop it agnes you're gonna throw something at me a glass my goodness i hope that awful his set all over everything no what then i shall sit very quietly as always yes and i shall will you to apologize to your sister for what i must tell you i thought to claire i've spent my adult life apologizing for her i will not double the humiliation by apologizing to her one does not apologize to those for whom one must neat succinct but one of the rules of an aphorism an epigram i thought an epigram is usually satiric and you and i am grimly serious yes i fear so to revert specifically from claire to her effect what would you do when i to spill my marbles put you in a bin somewhere sell the house and move to tucson pine in the hot sun and live forever i bet you would hurry though oh i try won't be a simple paranoia though i know that i've tried so hard to you know our little idea thank goodness i can't even raise my voice except in the most spectacular of events and i find that uh i find it both joy and sorrow work their wonders on me more evenly slowly within than most a suntan rather than a scalding there are no mountains in my life no chasms it is a rolling pleasant land verdant my darling thank you we do what we can oh marco if we should ever go downhill join things we must have that put in latin our motto we do what we can on your blazers over the mantle maybe we could do it in the linen as well you think i should go to claire's room no either she will be down or not i thought claire was much better tonight i didn't see any need for you to give us what you're going over claire was not better tonight honestly tobias i thought she was well she was not still i've decided all things considered that i shall not induce but all the years we've put up with each other's wiles and crotchets have earned us each other's company and i promise you as well that i shall think good thoughts healthy ones positive to ward off madness should it come by uninvited you mean i have no hope of tucson none alas you have the hope only of growing even older than you are in the company of your steady wife your alcoholic sister-in-law and occasional visits from our melancholy julia that is what you have my dear tobias will it too it will do i've never doubted that it would hark did i hear someone oh there you are i said to agnes just a moment ago i must apologize agnes i'm very sorry but uh what are you sorry for claire that my nature is such as to bring out the full force of your brutality look now i think if you come to the dinner table i'm steady if when you try to say good evening and weren't the autumn colors lovely today you are nothing but bowels if one smells the vodka on you from across the room and don't tell me again either of you the vodka leaves nothing on the bread if you are expecting it if you are sadly and weirdly expecting it it does if these conditions exist persist then the reaction of one who is burned by her love is not brutality though it would be excused believe me not brutality at all but the souring side of love if i scold it is because i wish i need if i am sharp it is because i am neither less no more than human and if i am to be accused once again and making too much of things let me remind you that it is my manner not the matter i apologize for being articulate tobias i'm going to call julia i think is it one or two hours difference i could never recall for three ah yes well be kind clear dear she is injured oh well i never know whether to applaud or cry or rather which would be more appreciated expected you are a great damn fool yes why is she calling julia you want to quit brandy before she comes back not at all a public one fill the balloon half full and i shall sip it ladylike and when she comes gliding in i shall lie on the floor balance the glass on my head which will give her occasion for another paragraph and you your ineffectual stop it nows you are a great damn fool is julia having another divorce hell i don't know she's only your daughter thank you i imagine from what i have watched that it is come home time why don't you kill agnes oh oh no i couldn't do that well better still why don't you wait till julia separates and comes home all confused and sullen and take a gun and blow all our heads off agnes first through respect of course then poor julia and if you have the kindness for it me you really want me to shoot you shoot agnes first and i'll think about it but it would have to be an act of passion out of my head and all that i doubt i could stand around with the gun smoking julia locked in her room screaming wait for you to decide if you wanted it or not but if you don't shoot agnes how do i know whether i want to live an active passion well yes oh that is funny i'm sorry no i'm sorry darling tobias i just can't see you playing the role that's all outraged maddened into action proceeding by reflex standing there in front of the judge stalin predictable tobias it all went blank your honor there i was sitting deep in my chair sipping my what is that and the set anna said really alison i like it sticky there i was your honor sitting in my chair sipping my hand a set and the next thing i know they're all lying in separate rooms with their heads blown off i have absolutely no recollection of it can you imagine that devise of course if you were all dead your brains lying around in the rugs there would be no one to say that it wasn't an act of passion leave me to last a breeze may rise and stir the ashes who is that no one i think though it should be why don't you go back to thing your alcoholics thing because they didn't like the people what's it called anonymous yes that why don't you go back why don't you mind your own hooting business i'm sorry claire because it was better be a good brother-in-law it's only the first one i'm not supposed to have i thought it was better thank you you mean agnes thought it was better no i thought so too that it would be i told you not our type nothing in common with them do you remember when you used to go off to business before you became a squire parading around in your jobbers confusing the garden i have never done any such thing before all that when you used to spend all your time in town with your business friends you're indistinguishable if not necessarily similar friends what did you have in common with them well everything our business we all mix well we're friends away from the office too clubs are an environment i guess but what did you have in common with them even harry your best friend in all the world as far as you know because you haven't met everyone you switching for mana set it doesn't go for a long time all right doesn't matter to me even your dearest friend harry tell me dear tobias did you have in common with him please claire what do you have in common with them outside of the coincidence of having cheated on your wives in the same summer with the same woman girl woman what except that hardly a distinction i believe she was upended the whole of july if you'll forgive me claire common practice is probably my poor girl whatever she was up ended the whole of that very hot wet july the distinction would have been to have not to have been the one or two of the very oh god many similar who did not upend that poor unfamiliar thing that dry very wet july please of course you only had the want and once while dear friend harry i have it from the horse's mouth was on top for good and keeps twice and a third try that wasn't so hot in the gardener's shed amongst the mulch and whatever it is all right what was her name i don't remember it doesn't matter she's gone would you give dear friend harry the shirt off your back i suppose i would he is my best friend how sad does that make you not much sound not much no one to listen to brookner with no one to tell you that you're sick of golf no one to tell you that at times you're suddenly frightened and you don't know why right now all right shall i tell you what happened the last time i climbed the steps to that fancy elky club why i have not gone back and what i have not in common with those people sure oh poor tobias sure light me a cigarette and then i shall have everything i need a sip a smoke and a good hard sex comfy very you remember the spring i moved out when i was so sick with the stuff drinking like the familiar fish which was such an embarrassment to everyone and you and agnes moved me to that apartment news station and agnes was so very good about coming to see me sorry when will it all just go in the past forget it when all the defeats are done admitted when memory takes over and corrects fact makes it all tolerable when agnes lies on her deathbed do you know agnes has such wonderful control i haven't seen her cry in for the longest time no matter what warn me when she's coming and i'll act drunk pretend you're very sick tobias like you wear with that stomach business but pretend your insides feel all green and stink and mixed up and your eyes hurt and you're half deaf and your brain keeps turning off and you have peripheral neuritis and you can hardly walk and you hate you hate with the same stinking green sickness you think your bowels have turned into yourself and everybody hate but oh god you want love l-o-v-e so badly comforted snuggling is what you really mean of course but you hate and you notice with a sort of detachment that amuses you you think that you're more of an animal every day you snarl you grab for things hide them can't remember where you've hid them like not very bright dogs you wash less prefer to be washed and once or twice you've even soiled your bed and you lie in it because you can't move pretend all that you don't like that do you tobias i don't know why you want you want to know what it's like to be an alky don't you boy sure well then you pretend all that so the guy you're spending your bottles with starts you going to old a.a and you sit there in the elkie cub listening to the better ones not recovered because once anaki always you better remember that or you're gone the first time you pass a saloon you watch the better ones get up and tell their stories once you drop you can't come back up part way but never really back again always descent well that's life baby you are a great damn fool but i am not an alcoholic i am not now and i never was all the promise all the chance it would be so much simpler if i wear an alcoholic so one night one month sometime i'd had one martini it was a test to see if i could which given my stunning self-discipline had become three and i felt rather daring nicely detached a little bigger than life not snarling yet and i marched more or less straight straight to the front of the room the hall and faced my peers i looked them all over trying so hard grit and guilt failing trying again and loss [Applause] and i had a moment's sweeping pity and disgust and i almost cried but i didn't like sister like sister by god and i heard myself say in my little girl voice there were a lot of different me's by then i am a alcoholic my name is claire and i am a alcoholic you try it my name is my name is claire and i am an alcoholic oh alcoholic hey alcoholic my name is claire and i am a alcoholic now i am supposed to go on you know and tell them how bad i was and and didn't want to be and how it happened and what i wanted to happen and would they help me to help myself but i stood there for 10 seconds maybe and then i courtesied i made my little girl curtsy and then on my little girl feet i patted back to my chair did they laugh at you an agnostic in the holy of holies doesn't get much camaraderie a little patronizing maybe oh they were taken by the vaudeville don't misunderstand me the one lady was nice she came up to me later and she said well you've taken the first step dear well that was nice out but she didn't say the first step towards what sanity insanity revelation self-deception change sometimes no matter what count on you tobias snappy phrase every time but it hooked me the applause the stage presence that beginning no school taught had more gold stars for never missing class i went oh god i did but stop until i learned being a slow student in my young old middle age slowly that i was not or ever had been a alcoholic or man either what i did not have in common with those people that they were sick and i was merely willful i've talked to julia ah how is she why what an art glass to put a soft drink in tobias you have a quiet sense of humor after all now well it can't be brandy tobias is a grown-up to you sweet sister not health persistence in good hard brandiage on canoe so if you're right my dear tobias if i were to go away drift off you wouldn't have a woman left about you only claire and julia not even people would serve you right but i'm not an alcoholic she she can drink a little i will not tolerate it i will not have you home i wouldn't mind for a moment if you filled your bathtub with it lowered yourself and it drowned or other wish you would give me the peace of mind to know you could do something well thoroughly if you want to kill yourself then do it right please what i can't stand is the selfishness those of you who want to die and take your whole lives doing it your wife is a perfectionist and very difficult to live with those people she is not an alcoholic she says she can drink some i'm not an alcoholic we think that's very nice we shall rest easier to know that it is willful that the vomit and the tears the muddy mind the falls and the absences the cigarettes out on the table tops the calls from the club to come and get you please that it is all willful if you are not an alcoholic you are beyond forgiveness but i've been left for a long time i speak for the worse with drink we are an alcoholic it is as simple as that who is to say if we are to live on tobias charity we are subject to the will of his wife if we were asked at our father's days are the ground rules tobias nothing are those the ground rules nothing too dried up too settled all right very well agnes you win i shall be an alcoholic and what are you gonna do about it goodbyes you will be unhappy to know it i suppose or or a mixed emotion certainly but julia is coming home naturally yeah she's leaving doug which is no surprise to me but wasn't julia happy you never thought you were happy she would not be coming home i don't want her here god knows i mean she's welcome here we go right every three years this is her home we are her parents the two of us we have our obligations to her and i've reached an age to buy us when i wish we were always alone just you and i without hangers on or anyone well i'm not going but if she and doug are through and i'm not suggesting that she is in the right then her place is properly here as for some it is not one two three four down they go well i would like to talk to doug i wish you would if you were to talk to tom or charlie yes even charlie or phil uh phil might have done some good if you've decided to assert yourself finally too late i imagine damned if you do damned if you don't julia might at the very least come to think her father cares and that might be help if not consolation well uh i'll talk to doug why don't you invite him here and while you're at it why don't you bring all the others along you might talk to julia too you don't very much yes philip loved to gamble charlie loved the boys tommy went for women why don't you go off on a vacation claire now the julia's coming home again why don't you go to kentucky or tennessee and visit the distilleries why don't you lock yourself in your room or find yourself a bar with an apartment in the back or agnes why don't you die if i saw some point to it some reason chance if i thought i might break through to her and say julia but then what would i say julia then nothing if we do not love someone never have loved them no there can be silence even having do you really want me dead claire wish yes want i don't know probably although i might regret it if i had it remember the serpent's tooth tobias the cat that i have hmm the cat that i had when i was a year or so before i met you she was very old i'd had it since i was a kid she must have been 15 or more an alley cat she didn't like people very much i think when people came she'd pick up and walk away she liked me or rather i could see that when i was alone with her she was content i don't know if she was happy but she was content and how the thing happened i don't really know she one day she one day i realized that she no longer liked me no that's not right one day i realized that she must have stopped liking me sometime before and one evening i was uh sitting alone home and i was suddenly aware of her absence not just that she wasn't in the room with me but that she hadn't been in rooms with me watching me shave just about for and i couldn't place how long she hadn't gone away you understand or rather she had but she hadn't run off i knew she was around i remembered i'd caught sight of her from time to time under a chair moving out of her room and it was only when i realized something had happened that i could give any pattern to the things that that i'd noticed she didn't like me anymore it was that simple but she was old no it wasn't that she didn't like me anymore i tried to force myself on it whatever do you mean well i closed her in a room with me i'd pick her up i'd make her sit in my lap i would make her stay there when she didn't want to didn't work she'd abide it but she'd get down when she could go away maybe she was ill no she wasn't i had her to the vet she didn't like me anymore and one night i was fixed on it now had her in the room with me sitting on my lap for the what the fifth time the same evening she lay there with her back to me and she wouldn't purr and i knew i knew that she was just waiting until she could get down and i said to her damn you you like me god damn it you stopped this i haven't done anything to you and i shook her i had my hands around her shoulders and i shook her and she bit me hard and she hissed at me and so i hit her with my open hand i hit her smack right across the head i hated her did you did did you uh hurt her badly yes well no not badly she i must have heard her ears she shook her head for a day or so and you see there was no reason she and i had lived together we'd been well you know friends and there was no reason and i hated her for that i hated her i suppose because i was being accused of something of failing i hadn't been cruel to her by design and if i'd neglected her well my whole life was and i resented it i resented having a being judged being betrayed what did you do i had her killed you had her put to sleep she was she was old you had her put to sleep i had her killed i took her to the vet and he took her he took her in the back and he gave her an injection and he killed her i had her killed well what else could you have done that there was nothing to be done i might have tried longer i might have gone on as long as cats live the same way i might have worn a hair shirt locked myself in the house where they've done penance for something for what god knows you probably did the right thing distasteful alternatives the less ugly choice was it [Applause] if we do not love someone never have loved someone oh stop that love is not the problem you love agnes agnes loves julia julia loves me and i love you we love each other we do we all love each other yes yes to the depths of our self-pity and our greed what else but love era quite possibly love and error hurry what a surprise why don't you take off your things come in tobias it's uh it's harry and edna hmm hello harry good evening claire we were just having a gojo sit down have you been out to the club i like this room to the club how are you all right pretty well claire not as good as i'd like but harry's been having his shortness of breath again i can't breathe sometimes for just a bit well two sets of tennis you know what have you done to the rule make this oh the summer things are after of course have you been to the club i was talking to edna about having our books done in leather bound oh yeah yeah uh the question on unless i'm going different from all the alcohol was have you all been to the club i wondered why no no why no foreign or perhaps that we were having a party and i lost today no we were just sitting home i'm just just sitting home well we're glad you're here party or not good to see you tobias uh how's julia wrong question may i have some brandy please device uh she's coming home i'm afraid oh not again just can't keep that one married i guess oh agnes what a that's too bad why'd you come harry please claire we're glad you're here we're glad you came to surprise us yes we were sitting home just sitting home we're glad to see you what happened harry claire please i don't see why people have to be questioned when they've come for a friendly harry wants to tell you this harry we well we were sitting home can i get you a drink harry good i we thought of going to the club but it's so crowded on a friday night with the canasta party and getting ready for the dance tomorrow we didn't want to do that and i've been tired and we didn't want to do that harry's been tired this whole week so we had dinner home and uh thought we'd stay rest of course i will not please go on harry so we were sitting edna was doing that panel she works on my needlepoint and i was reading my french i've got it pretty good now not the accent but the words and then and then i don't know quite what happened then we were it was all very quiet we were all alone and then nothing happened but nothing at all happened but we got prices we got scared we were frightened that was nothing but we were very scared we were terrified we were scared it was like being lost very young again with the dark and lost there was no thing to be frightened out but we were frightened and there was nothing we couldn't stay there so we came here you're our very best friends in the whole world no no we couldn't go anywhere else so we came here well we'll learn you you did the right thing of course sure can i go to bed now please ben we can't go back there please then you're uh uh uh so tired best friends in the world tobias of course we are harriet oh please of of course you can there's uh there's uh julia's room come with me huh tobias edna harry there was no one else we could go to i was wondering when it would begin when it would start start start what you don't know yet you will do you think i like it do you julio please do you do you think i enjoy it julia you think it gives me some sort of martyrs pleasure do you will you be well that is a house full of people oh yes what about that i come home my room is full of harry and edna i have no place to put my things they'll go to devices room he'll sleep with me that'll be different what did you say young lady i said that would be nice you did not say any such thing you said what are they doing here don't they have a house anymore has the market gone bust without my knowing it i may have been out of touch but just let it be why are they here they are frightened haven't you heard of it they're what they're frightened now will you let it be what are they frightened are harry and edna frightened i don't i don't know yet well haven't you talked to them about it i mean for god's sake no i haven't what have they done all day stayed up in their room my room not come down locked in yes yes what yes they have stayed up in their room all day my room your room now let it be no please hello i'm sorry mother i'm sorry for screeching i am too old as i remember to remember what it is like to be a daughter if my poor parents in their separate heavens will forgive me but i'm sure it's simpler than being a moth i said i was sorry i don't recall if i asked my poor mother that i do wish sometimes that i had been born a man not so hard their concerns are so simple money and death making ends meet until they meet the end if they knew what it was like to be a wife a mother a lover a homemaker a nurse a hostess a dagitator a pacifier a truth-teller there's a deceiver out i believe a new one by one of the 30 million psychiatrists now practicing in this land of ours a book which applies that the sexes are reversing or coming to resemble each other too much at any rate but to be read and disbelieved but it disturbs our sense of well-being if the book is right and i suspect it is then i would be no better off as a man would i no not at all oh there is nowhere to rest the weary head or whatever how are you my darling what how are you my darling how is your darling well i was trying to tell you before you shut me up with harry and edna hiding upstairs i will try to tell you mother once again before you've turned into a man i should try to hear you out but if i feel my voice changing in the middle of your rant you will have to forgive my male prerogative if i become uncomfortable look at my watch or jiggle the change and where do you think you're going you go straight to hell well now what's going on here will you shut her up well there you are julia your father can safely leave the room now i think hello my darling your mother has arrived talk to him your daughter is in need of consolation or a great cuffing around the ears i don't know which to recommend have uh have her harry and edna do they have not well i thought maybe well what was that all about as they say i haven't the faintest oh evening papers yes you want it anything happy my daughter's home any other joys sorry no small wars large anxieties are there are republicans as dull as ever a teenage marijuana nest not far from here i never had marijuana in my entire life want some wasn't fashionable what the hell did harry and edna want just let it be didn't you talk to them today about it i mean no they weren't down when i went off to the club and good old golf don't ride me julia i warn you i've never had any marijuana either aren't i a good old girl either that or slow great christ what the hell did i come home to and why both of you snotty me look there are some times when it all gathers up too much sometimes when it's going to be agnes and tobias not just mother and dad right sometimes when the allowances aren't going to be made what are you doing biting off your fingernails now it broke off first sometimes when it's all too much i don't know why the hell harry and edna are doing sitting up in that bedroom claire's drinking she and agnes are at each other like a couple of sisters what the goddamn government's at me over some deductions and you and me yes this isn't the first time you know the first time you've come back here with one of your goddamn marriages on the rocks four count em i know how many marriages i've gotten myself into four you expect to come back here and nestle into being 15 and misunderstood each time you're 36 years old for god's sake and you are 100 easily 36 each time dragging your i was gonna say pride your marriage with you like some raggedy ann doll by the foot you you fill this house with your whining i don't ask to come back here you belong here [Laughter] well now that i've taken out on my only daughter the disgust of my declining years i'll mix a very good and very strong martini join me when i was a very little girl well when i was a little girl after i'd gotten over my two-year burn suddenly having a brother may his soul rest when i was still a little girl i thought you were a marvel saint sage daddy everything and then as the years turned and i reached my somewhat angular adolescence five to one or more then as the ears turned poor old man you sank to cipher you've stayed there i'm afraid very nice but ineffectual essential but not really thought of gray non-eminence and now you've changed again sea monster ran nasty violent absolutely human man uh yeah as you make it five to one or better i made it about seven i think your transformations amaze me how can i have changed so much or is it really you i told agnes i'd talk to doug if you think that'd do any good bye golly dad that's a good martini you really want to talk to doug you won't get anywhere the compulsives you can get somewhere with or the illusion of getting the gamblers the the letters of this world yes you can have the illusion because they're after something a jackpot somehow break the bank find the boy climb the babe something you do pick him do i hmm do i pick him well you may have been pushed on charlie ah poor old charlie well for christ's sake if you miss him so much i do not miss him well yes i do but not that way because he seemed so like what teddy would have been your brother would not have grown up to be a who was to say hi libraries oh god my sweet claire oh you oh i must say the welcome home committee was pretty skimpy you and daddy gone now i said do i breathe gin you do well you don't look too bad for a quadruple amputee i must say are you gonna make me a whatever tobias besides my darling it's getting to be rather a habit isn't it yeah i suppose so then i shall make my own sit down claire i'll do it well i wouldn't want to tax you now well i had an adventure today i went into town thought i'd shake him up a little so i tried to find me a topless bathing suit you didn't yes it did i went into what's the name straight up to the uh swimwear as they call it department got me a 1890 school mistress type who wondered what she could do for me and i uh felt like telling her not much sweetheart are you sure you wouldn't rather have it very but i said hello there i'm in the market for a topless swimsuit really claire i i don't know what you mean she said i said oh certainly you do no top stops at the waist the latest thing lots of freedom oh yes she said i'm afraid we don't carry those well in that case i told her do you have any separates aha those weakerly shall i bring it or will you come fred you bring i said i said i'll buy the bottoms of one of those and uh she thought for a minute and then she said with ice in her voice what shall we do with the tops well i said uh why don't you save them maybe bottomless swimsuits will be in next year and the poor sweet thing gave me a look i i couldn't tell it was either a d minor so she was gonna send me home with a letter to my mother and uh she said sort of far away i think you need the manager and off she walked what were you doing buying a bathing suit in october anyway oh dad no no no that's a man's question that's a good martini truth will get you nowhere why why well maybe i'll go on a trip somewhere that would please agnes as few things would no what i meant was maybe toby will walk in one day trailing travel folders rip his tie off and announce he's fed up to there with the north the east the suburbs the regulated great gray dwindling life before him and has bought him an island of paraguay which has no sea coast yes way off has bought in this island and is taking us all to that to hack through the whatever build us an enormous lean to all of us take us away where it's always good and happy would you dad it's uh it's too late or something [Applause] well maybe i just simply wanted a topless bathing suit no well then maybe it's more complicated yet i mean claire couldn't find herself a man if she tried and here comes julia home from the wars you could find a man indeed i have found several briefly and none my own julia don't you think auntie claire could find herself a man i don't like the subject and here comes julia home from the wars four purple hearts why don't you just have another drink and stop it claire all right i have left doug we are not divorced yet you cooking another batch to buzz but you've come back home haven't you didn't you with the others where else am i supposed to go it's a great big world baby hotels new cities home is the quickest road to reno i know of you have such a lot of experience in these matters claire sidelines good seats right in the 50-yard line objective observers i swear if i didn't love my sister so i'd say she got you hitched for the pleasure of getting you back all right that will do now sorry they tell me in the kitchen they tell me we are about to die in a bit are we having a drink i think one might be nice it's one of those days when everything is underneath but we are all together which is something quite a few of us any news from up there no no i dropped upstairs well that doesn't make much sense i happened upstairs and i knocked at harry ledner's uh julia's room door and after a moment i heard harry say it's all right we're all right well i didn't have the i felt such an odd mixture of embarrassment and irritation and apprehension i suppose and fatigue i didn't persevere haven't they been out i mean haven't they eaten or anything make me a thing well you're martini i am told they tell me that while we were all out in our various whatever they may be is edna descended asked them to make sandwiches which were brought to the closed door and handed in oh my god i mean there is no point in pressing it there are very dear friends they will tell us in good time i had a glimmer of it last night thought on you that which we see in the bottom of the glass is most often drags really truly so are we having our dividend or are we not all happy families are alike well well look who's here harry just in time for a martini oh no we're with julia there you are oh julia there's just time for a drink before dinner if my husband will hurry no we're going home now oh yes yes well if we were any help at all get our things our clothes and things yes we'll be back in well after dinner so don't uh an hour or two it'll take us a while we'll let ourselves uh don't bother i want my room back i want my room i believe that dinner is served yes if any of you have the stomach for it that was without question the ugliest dinner i've ever sat through what did you say now what what can you mean was the rangoon of your pleasure did the floating island sink watch what you say if your father is proud of his wines no you sitting there like a combination pulp but we will not discuss it claire be still no tobias the table is not the proper place julia really like a nanny when we are dealing with children i must discover sometime who you think you are you will learn one day no more like a drill sergeant you will do this you will not do that to keep in shape have you heard the expression most people misunderstand it assume it means alteration when it does not maintenance when we keep something in shape we maintain its shape whether we are proud of that shape or not is another matter we keep it from falling apart we do not attempt the impossible we maintain we hold i shall keep this family in shape i shall maintain it hold it yes sir and if i shout it is merely to be heard about the awful din of your privacies and floats all of you i'm not being uh an ogre am i no no very reasonable if i am a stickler on certain points of martinet as julia would have it not sweet in fact if i'm a stickler on points of manners timing tact the grace is almost blush to call them it is simply that i am the one member of this reasonably happy family blessed and burdened with the ability to view a situation objectively while i am in it what time is it and if i must be the fultrum i think i shall have a divorce no fear merely testing everything is taken for granted and no one listens haven't divorced no no julia has them for all of us not even separation that is taken care of and in life the gradual demise of intensity the private preoccupations the substitutions they become allegorical my darling tobias as we grow older the individuality we hold so dearly sinks into crotchet we see ourselves repeated by those we bring into it all either by mirror or rejection honor or fault i'm not a fool i'm really not what's clear up to really not at all no really not well how would i know what she's up to well you are the fulcrum and all around here the double vision the great balancing act i dare say she's in her room at least she has one why don't you run upstairs and claim your goddamn room back barricade yourself in there put your bureau in front of the door take the biases pistol while you're at it arm yourself barricades pistols really so soon claire will you take off that damn thing they laughed when i sat down to the accordion take it off no will not this is going to be a festive night by the smell of it and sister claire wants to do her part pay her way so to speak justified you're not gonna play that dreadful instrument in here [Music] ma used to say claire girl she had an uncle named claire so she always used to call me claire girl that is not so clear girl she used to say when you go out into the world get dumped out of the nest or pushed out by your sister even in her teams your auntie claire had her own and very special ways was very advanced had a ball same as you you know your mummy got a pudenda scuffed a couple of times herself of course she met old toby there you know only i wasn't pushed with socially proper remorse every time you're what my pudenda you can come on all forgetful in your old age if you want to but just remember i'm not an old woman am i well you're my old lady what would it be sailing for harry and edna save her for harry annette save it for them please [Applause] we're waiting aren't we waiting the room the doctor's office the beautiful unconcerned the intensive study of the dreadful curtains the absorption and field and stream waiting for the biopsy no don't know what i mean what about harry and edna don't want to talk about it if they come back if if they come back we will you only have two choices sis take them in or throw them out how simple it is from the sidelines we'll do another imagine taking throw out oh well yes they're just passing through as they have been all these years well we shall know soon enough they're back yes i think i'll go up you'll stay right i want to go to my room it is their room for the moment among doug's opinions you might like to know is that when you and your ilk are blown to pieces by a chinese bomb the world would be a better place a lovely world come on now well it'll be a less crowded one you choose well julia that's what he says have always did he include you as ilk as well will you be with us when the fatal mushroom comes as those dirty boys put it are we to have the pleasure i'll be right here would you like to know something else he says no julia daddy no right this minute julian claire you oh come on you know i'd like to hear but i'd love to but toby and i have got an invasion on their hands we have no such thing and maybe you better wait for uh harry and i didn't too it does not concern harry and edna best friends tobias uh where what will i do with everything what what do they want harry and edna hmm harry and edna what do they want sucker pardon comfort warmth special room with a nightlight or the door ajar so they can look down the hall from the bed and see that mummy has her door open that's my room it's the room happens you were in it you're a visitor as much as anyone now and i know that room you home for good now you're home forever back from the world to the sadness and reassurance of your parents you come to take my place this is my home we are not a communal nation dear giving but not sharing outgoing but not friendly hello hello we submerge our truths and have our sunsets on untroubled waters come on in edna yes do you think we can walk on the water edna or do you think we sink we sing and we better develop gills right right i didn't see you come in oh we drove around the back harry's helping agnes and tobias get our bags upstairs don't you mean that agnes and tobias are helping harry if you like what were you two up to i think julia's home for good this time i say claire oh is it come to that i always said she would finally this is family business yes but i don't think that agnes and tobias have seen it as clearly i do wish agnes would have those chairs recovered perhaps now then why don't you call the upholsterers now that you're living here all in the family you're not a child anymore julia you're nicely on your way to 40 and you've not helped wedlocks image any with your shenanigans you are a guest in this house and if you have decided to return forever then it's a matter of some concern for quite a few people you are a guest as you for quite a few people whose lives are moved if not necessarily touched by your claire where does agnes have her upholstery done does she use no manners young lady julia why don't you ask edna if she'd like something no you have no right here i'll have a cognac julia my husband and i are your parents best friends we are in addition your godparents does this give you rights some some rights and responsibilities some hello harry come on in judy is about to fix us something what would you like i'll do it don't trouble yourself julia no no don't you come near don't you take a step julia no let her do it harry she wants to i don't want to then i'll do it to you mother mother oh honestly mother julia will you let me do it may i get the drinks stay away from it all of you not you yet mother come on now julia oh let her go harry mother father help me julia hello perhaps you had better come upstairs yes where what room come up to my room lie down your room no you will lie down in our room if you prefer your own you're oh my mom don't you don't hear that julia i won't what do you want julie what is mine well then my dear you'll have to decide what that is will you not cuddy daddy daddy daddy daddy i do believe that's the first time she's caught on her father since her childhood when she used to skin her knees yes and she would come home bloody i assumed she was clumsy but it crossed my mind a time or two that she was religious praying on the gravel a penance yes teddy had just died i think and it was an unreal time for a number of us for me poor little boy yes it was an unreal time i thought tobias was out of love with me or rather was tired of it when teddy died as if it had been the string would you like something edna mm-hmm things i doubted then that i was loved that i loved for that matter teddy had ever lived at all my mind you see that julia would be with us long i think i think i thought tobias was unfaithful to me then was he harry oh and this come on agnes of course not no fuzzy claire that hot summer with julia's knees all bloody and teddy dead did my husband cheat on me you got me sis and that we'll have to do poor julia julia's a fool make me a drink will you harry since you're being tobias a scotch sure thing claire why not claire could tell her so much if she cared too could you not claire claire who watches from the sidelines has seen so very much have seen us all so clearly have you not claire you were not named for nothing lay off says what do you want i don't know what you mean what do you really want i'm gonna tell her harry i don't know what you mean claire scotch was a diagnosis i said yes but i don't remember don't talk to harry like that i i i'm sorry and i forgot that um you're very frightened people don't you make fun of us my dear edna i'm not well i think it's time for a little music don't you kids we don't want music claire i yodel little too nowadays if anybody yodel yes what would you like harry of course to take me to the greenhouse and lay me down claire i wonder if before the concept one of you wouldn't mind telling me why uh my daughter is upstairs in hysterics envy baby she don't sing her nothing tweets now will any of you tell me why what was she doing i told you she's in historics that is a condition i inquired about an action i don't understand that girl action is that what you want okay how about press against the corner of the upstairs hall arms wide palms back eyes darting wide how about tearing in harry and edna's room ripping the clothes from the closets hangers and all on the floor the same for the bureaus i see more all right or into your room next twisted on the bed lots of breathing the great wide eyes the spread gathered under your big lace pillow in her arms like a lover eyes wide open no tears now though if you go near the sound star you think she'll scream if you touch her how's that pretty good and accurate i am you're down right now why i was making myself a drink for god's sake i asked her to make me something come on now that sounds incomplete to you toby somewhat julia has been through a trying time to buy us i suppose we did upset her son of course don't you think you should go tend to her no she will be down or she will not she will stop or she will go on no for god's sake i haven't the time to buy us i haven't time for the four-hour talk the soothing recapitulation you don't go through it my love for history nothing is calmed by a pat on the hand a gentle massage or slowly slowly combing the hair the history teddy's birth and how she felt unwanted tricked his death and was she more relieved than last all the schools we sent her to or did she fell in them through hate or love and when we come to marriage dear each one of them the fear the happiness the sex the stopping the infidelity all right the comings hold the new resolves departures oh my dear tobias my life has gone through more than hers i see myself growing old each time my own life passing no i haven't time for it now at midnight maybe when you're all in your beds safely sleeping then i shall comfort our junior and lose myself once more i'll tell you there are so many martyrdoms here yeah one to a person that is the usual though i do believe there are some with none and others who have known job the helpless are the cruelest lot of all they shift their burdens so if you interviewed a camel he'd admit he loved his load i wish you two would stop having at each other hell yes let's have a drink tobias huh what can i make you buddy i think you've actually spoken your mind what can you make me i do sometimes sure i'm here when an environment is not all that it might be oh uh yeah scotch is that for you to say here we come stop it claire dear i said is that for you to say we must be helpful when we can my dear that is the responsibility the double demand of friendship is it not but when we are asked no not only it seemed to me well to us that since we are living here i living living here living here that's my cue get them out of here all right julia baby let's have it now get them out of here daddy come on now get them out of here you want to be horse wet young lady all right now don't do it today i'll give it back dare you come into this room like that i'll get you and that's me and your father i'll date you right are you going julia please are you going no we are not going no you see coming down here with a gun like that you returned to your nest from your latest disaster dispossessed and suddenly dispossessing you scream the house down claw it on stop her willful wicked wretched girl you are not you have no rights we have rights here we belong mother we belong here do we not forever have you come to stay forever oh if need be sorry a godmother's duty if we come to the point if we are at home one evening and the terror comes descends if all at once we need we come where we are wanted where we know we are expected not only where we want we come where the table has been laid for us in such an event where the bed is turned down and warmed and has been ready should we need it we are not transients like sun no you have come to live with us then why yes we have well then perhaps it is time for bed julia mother come upstairs with me let me comb your hair rub your back and we shall soothe and solve and fall asleep tobias well i think it's time for ben well yes yes of course we know the way friendship is something like a marriage is it not tobias for better and for worse sure we haven't come to the wrong place have we have we toby no no of course you haven't good night dear tobias good night claire night you two night old man good good night you two full house to bars every bed every cupboard good night claire you're gonna stay up to buy some sort of night watch guarding i've done it you're breathing as you stand in the quiet hole slow and heavy special warmth and permeation of a house asleep when the house is sleeping and the people are asleep good night clay and the difference the different breathing and the cold when every bed is awake all night very still eyes open staring into the dark you know that one good night claire goodnight hi there you are 7 30 am all as well i guess so odd there was a stranger in my room last night you ah it was nice to have you there hmm i've never understood that teardu means lost not merely past but it was nice to have you there though i remember when it was a constancy how easily i would fall asleep face my breathing your breathing and if we were touching uh what a splendid cocoon that was but last night what a shame what sadness you were a stranger and i stayed awake i'm sorry were you asleep at all no i would go half then wake your your unfamiliar presence sir i could get used to it again yes i think didn't have your talk with julia no you're all night lulling no no she wouldn't let me stay look to your own house is what she said you'll stay down long when after before you came to bed some i almost went to my room by habit by mistake rather and then i realized that your room's my room because my room is julia's because julia's room is yes and uh i was awake when you left my room again you could have said i felt shy hmm did you go to claire i never go to play did you go to claire to talk i never go to claire we must always envy someone we should not be jealous of those like so much less you and claire make so much sense together talk so well i never go to claire at night or talk with her alone safe publicly in public rooms like this yes have never please i shall start missing you when you move from my room again if you do i had stopped i believe oh you're an honest woman well we need one in every house it's very strange to be downstairs in a room where everyone has been and is gone very late after the heat is gone the furnace and the bodies the hour or so before the sun comes up the furnace starts again it's rather godlike if i may presume to look at it all reconstruct with such detachment see yourself you julia look at it all play it out again watch judge no that's being in it watch and if you have a drink or two they do and if you have a drink or two very late in the quiet tire the mind lets loose and you watch it as it reasons over the kind of grateful delight and at the same time sadly because you know that when the daylight comes the pressures will be on and all the insights won't be worth a damn and what did you decide you can sit and watch you can have so clear a picture see everyone moving through his own jungle and inside into all the reasons all the needs good and what did you decide why is the room so dirty can we have better servants some help who help they keep far better hours than we that's all they're a comment on our habits a reminder that we are out of step that is why we pay them so very very much neither a servant nor a master leave remember i remember when you were very young and lived at home and the servants were awake whenever you were 6 a.m for your breakfast when you wanted it five in the morning when you came home drunk and seventy washing the vomit from the car and you telling no one stealing just enough each month by arrangement with the stores to keep them in a decent wage generations of them laundrous blind and always dying the cook who did a better dinner drunk than soba those servants those days when you were young and lived at home well my darling you are not young now and you do not live at home where do i live the dark sadness yes what are we going to do what did you decide nothing well you must your house is not in order sir is full to bursting yes you've got to help me here no i don't think so no no i thought a little last night too while you were seeing everything so clearly here i lay in the dark and i revisited our life for years and years there are many things the woman does she bears the children if there is that blessing blessing yes i suppose even with the sadness she runs the house for what that's worth make sure there's food and not just anything and decent linen looks well assumes whatever duties are demanded if she is in love or loves and plans i know i know but there are things we do not do yes yes we don't decide the route you are copying out now what is it yes you are don't you yell at me you're copying out we follow we let our men decide the moral issue never you've never done that in your life always my darling whatever you decide i'll make it work i'll run it for you so you'll never know there's been a change in anything no no so let me know i know i'm tired i know i've hardly slept at all i know i've sat down here and thought and made your decisions but i have not judged i told you that well when you have you let me know no you'll wake the house i'll wait the house this is not the time for you to lose control i'll lose control i've sat down here in the cold in the empty cold i've sat here alone i've looked at everything all of it i thought of you julia and claire and edna and harry well of course what do you think i don't know i'm listening morning well i'm supposed to shall i make some coffee why don't you do that darling come on julie sorry about last night daddy oh well now i mean i'm sorry for having embarrassed you coffee aren't you sorry for embarrassing me too well isn't it nice that julia's making coffee no if they help her out isn't it nice to have a daughter looking for a pot to boil aren't you sorry for embarrassing me too you have a problem there with julia i i have a problem but at least you have your women around you crowded round for mom support that must be a comfort to you most explorers go alone don't have their families with them pitching tents tending the fires shoeing off the antelopes or the bears or whatever aren't you sorry for embarrassing me too are you quoting yes next to my younger sister with us another porter for the dreadful trip claire has never missed a chance to participate in watching she'll be here will have us all you all sit down and watch me carefully smoke your pipes and stir the cauldron watch yes you who make all the decisions who really rule the game that's an illusion you have you'll all sit here too early for anything on this stupid sunday all of you and dare me when it's just as much your choice as mine each time that julia comes each clockwork time you send her back do you tell her julia go home to your husband try it again do you no you let it slip it's your decision sir it is not i must live with it resign myself one marriage more wait and hope that julia's motherhood will come one day one marriage i'm almost too old to be a grandmother as i'd hoped too young to be one or what wanted that the youngest older woman on the block julia's almost too old to have a child properly will be if she ever does if she marries again you you could have pushed her back if you'd wanted to it's very early yet that must be it i have never heard so teddy no no stammering here you'll let this pass please when teddy died we could have had another son we could have tried but no those months or was it a year no more of this i think it was a year when you spilled yourself on my belly sir please please tobias but no you wouldn't even say it out i don't want another child another last please please tobias and guiding and trying to hold you in like this please don't leave me then like that not a can't pass please i can take care of it we won't have another child but please don't leave me like that such a silent sad disgusted love i i i didn't want you to have to sir i didn't want you to have to you know that was thoughtful of you like a pair of adolescents in a rented room in the family car doubtless who hated it as much as i yes but wouldn't let me help you no which is why you took to your own sweet room instead yes the theory being pat that half a loaf is worse than none that you are wrapped with guilt stupidly and i must suffer for it yes well was your decision was it not yes and i have made the best of it i've lived with it have i not what are we going to do about everything whatever you like naturally morning kids all i can do is run it for you and forecast morning claire julia's in the kitchen making coffee claire which means i guess i go watch julia grind the beans and drip the water i tell you she's a real pioneer that girl coffee pot in one hand and pistol and other clears the comfort in the early morn i've been told yes that is what i have been told shall i ask them to leave who harry and adnan for a moment i i i thought you meant julia and clay now harry and edna shall i throw him up harry is your very best friend enough yes yours well you'll have to live with it either way do i don't well then why don't i throw julian claire out why don't i throw the whole bunch up oh oh get rid of me that would be easier rid yourself for the harridan and you can run your mission take out saint one papers i think you're stating an opinion a preference but if you do get rid of me you'll no longer have your life the way you want it but that's not my that's not all the choice i've got is it well i don't i don't care very much what choice you got my darling but i am concerned with what choice you make ready [Music] ah here are the help meets what would we do without them the coffee's instant i'm afraid couldn't find a bean those folk must lock them up before they go to bed pop let's clear away some of the debris huh pop it's true we cannot drink our coffee amidst the seed of last night's glasses to buy us to be a hell i didn't have to do a thing thank god for pre-squeezed orange juice that's much better isn't it whatever you say julie now i'll play waiter sis thank you claire little julie just put it down beside me claire i'm pouring you can see pop thank you claire well yours is here daughter when you're done with playing early morning hostess thank you claire now one for little claire why don't you have some vodka in it claire to start the sunday off now all of you sit down shut up i want to talk to you can i give you sugar be quiet julian yes i want to talk to you well i'll go on to bios you too claire please now now something happened here last night and i don't mean julia's history if you were a gun be quiet julia although i do mean that in part i mean harry and edna coming here yes do you want to say something julia no i came down here and i sat all night hours and i did something rather rare for this family i thought about something i'm sorry tobias but that's not fair i thought i sat down here and thought about all of us and everything now harry and edna have come to us and asked for help that is not true be quiet julia that is not true they have not asked for anything please julia they have told they've come in here and ordered just like the family asked if you're begging and you've got your pride if you're begging then you may not have your pride i don't think that's true judy told you you wouldn't know ask me those people have no right no right all these years we've known them ever since for god's sake julia these people are our friends then take them in take these intruders in look baby didn't you get the message on rights last night didn't you learn about intrusion but the score is who belongs you bring those people in here father and i'm leaving yes i don't mean coming and going father i mean it's family harry and edna are our friends they are intruders crisis sure brings out the best in the sato family circle julius standing there asserting the perpetual brat may be ready to pull eclair and poor claire not much help there either and look at agnes talky agnes ruler of the roofs maitre d and licensed wife silent all cozy coffee thinking of the menu for the week planning i was merely waiting until i'd heard and thought a little listen to the rest of you i thought someone should sit back especially me ruler of the roost licensed wife midnight nurse and i've been thinking about harry and edna about disease about what about disease for god's sake about disease or if you like the tenor terror yes the terror or the play they're both the same let me tell you something about disease mortal illness you either are immune to it or you fight it ten centuries ago and even less the treatment was quite simple burn them burn their bodies burn their houses burn their clothes and move to another town if you were enlightened but now with modern medicine we we merely isolate we quarantine we ostracize if we are not immune ourselves unless we are saints so your midnight vigil darling your reasoning in the cold pure hours have been over the patient and not the disease it is not edna and harry who have come to us dear friends it is a disease oh for god's sake agnes it is our friends what am i supposed to do say look you can't stay here you two you've got trouble you're friends and all but you come in here clean well i can't do that no agnes for god's sake if that is all harry and i have meant to ask then what about us when we talk to each other what do we meant anything when we touch when we promise or say yes or please with ourselves have we meant yes but only if if there's any condition agnes then it's all been empty perhaps but blood binds us blood holds us together when we've no more deep affection for ourselves than others i'm not asking you to choose between your family and our friends yes you are i am merely saying that there is disease here and i ask you who in this family is a mere one i am i've had it and i'm still alive i think claire is the strongest of us all the walking wounded often are the least susceptible but think about the rest of us are we immune to it the plague my darling the the terror sitting in the room upstairs well if we are then on with it and if we are not we'll why not be infected why not die of it we're bound to die of something soon or in a while or shall we burn them out rid ourselves of it all and wait for the next invasion you decide my daughter good morning ah you're up good morning edna how are you harry would like to talk to tobias i think they should be alone perhaps of course uh um why don't we go in the kitchen make a proper breakfast no no you don't need it yes yes we want you to have your talk tobias uh yeah we'll be nearby uh did you sleep well edna did you sleep at all i've never had that in bed but i know that when all right look at them girl they got out of here quick enough you think there was a good morning bias good morning harry know what i'd like to do something i've never done before in my life except once when it was about 24 no what have a drink before breakfast is it all right sure will you join me i guess so yes there isn't any ice well uh then just some whiskey neat uh brandy not whiskey then yes thank you well here's to youth again doesn't taste too bad morning doesn't no but i've had some before when earlier or three four while you all were asleep or whatever you were doing you were awake huh yes not slept a little god what you know what i did last night no i got out of bed and i crawled in with edna yes she held me let me stay a while then i could say she wanted to and i didn't so i went back it was funny yeah do uh you uh like edna tobias well sure i'd like it harry not a bias about last night and yesterday and our coming here i was talking about here last night i said sorry i said i sat down here and i thought about it harry and i talked to agnes too before you all came down and god i don't know harry we can make it if you want us to i can't i mean i think i can no we're we're going to the ass i don't know what help i don't know i said we're going yes but you'll die sure but you can try it here or we can well i don't know harry you can't go back there you've got to go to what sell the house buy another move to the club you came here do you want us here tobias you came here do you want us here you came here do you want us here ed and i all right so much over the damn so many disappointments of asians i guess lies maybe so much we remember we wanted once so little that we settled for we talk sometimes mostly no we don't like sure we like but i've always been a little shy gruff you know shy and edna isn't happy i suppose that's it we like you and agnes well and claire and julia too but i guess i mean i like you and you like me i think and you're our best friends but i told edna upstairs i said edna what if they had come to us she didn't say anything and i said edna if they had come to us like this and even though we don't have julia and all that edna i wouldn't take them in i wouldn't take them in edna they don't have any right she said yes i know they wouldn't have the right toby i wouldn't let you stay you you don't want us to do utopia you don't want us here what do i what [Laughter] do i want [Laughter] do i want you here you come in here you come in here with your wife and with your terror and you ask me do i want you here yes of course i want you here i built this house i want you in it i want your plague you have some terror with you bringing in bring it in you got the entree buddy you don't need a key you got the entree buddy 40 years you don't need to ask me harry won't ask you come for dinner don't you come for cocktails see you at the club on saturdays and you talk and lie and laugh with us and put old agnes on the hand and you say you know what old tobe would do without her and we've known each other all these years and we love each other don't we don't wait don't we love each other doesn't friendship grow to that to love doesn't 40 years amount to anything we've cast a lot together boy we're friends we've been through lots of thick or thin together which is it boy which is it for a thick fin well whatever it is we've been through it boy you don't have to ask i like you harry i like i really do i don't like edna but that's not half the point i like you fine i find not liking you has limits but those are my lemons not yours the fact i like you well enough that not enough that best friend in the world should be something else more wow that's my poverty so bring your wife bring your terror bring your plague bring your plague i don't want you here you ask no i don't but by christ you're gonna stay here you've got the right the right you know the word the right you put nearly 40 years in it baby syllabi and if it's nothing i don't give a damn you've got the right to be here you've earned it and by god you're gonna take it do you hear me you bring your terror and you come in here and you live with us you bring your plague and stay with us i don't want you here i don't love you but by god you stay stay stay stay please stay steady harry will you bring our bags down maybe tobias will help you will you ask him sure would you help us with the bags oh man upstairs harry he's not a callous man for all his bluff he came to my bed last night got in with me i i let him stay and talk i i let him think i wanted to make love it pleases him i think to know he would be wanted if he he said to me he lay there in the dark with me this man and he said to me very softly like a little boy rather do they love us do they love us edna i let a silence go by well as much as we love them i should think the hair on his chest is very gray and soft would would we let them stay edna almost a whisper and still again well i hope he told to buy us something simple something to help we mustn't press our luck must we test it's sad to come to the end of it isn't it nearly the end so much more of it gone by than left and still not know still not have learned the boundaries what we may not do not ask for fear of looking in a mirror we shouldn't have come ah for our own sake our own lack it's sad to know you've gone through it all or most of it without that the one body you've wrapped your arms around the only skin you've ever known is your own and that it's dry and not warm what will you do julia will you be seeing douglas i haven't thought about it i don't know i doubt it time time happens i suppose to people everything becomes too late finally you you know it's going on up on the hill you can see the dust and hear the cries but you wait and time happens when you do go sword shield finally there's nothing there but rust bones in the wind i'm sorry about the coffee edna the help must steal the beers the names or take them with them when they when they go to bed no coffee and wine they're much the same with me i can't tell good from back would anybody besides claire care for a drink oh really clear and that's all good heavens claire thank you no juliet all right i will thank you i think i hear the men we'll just take these down to the car now thank you agnes you've been well just thank you we'll be seeing you oh yes well don't be strangers how could i be with my lives are the same julia think a little hmm i will edna i'm fond of marriage darling clear do be good i'll try to be quiet i'm going into town on thursday agnes would you like to come well i i i don't think so and i have so much to do well perhaps another week oh yes we'll do it hold on all set hurry my darling take good care thank you agnes you too julia you were really good goodbye harry bye harry see you around sure thing claire bye device thank you bye thank you all man please stay at the club well then drive carefully it's sunday bye thank you well here we all are you all right my darling sure your daughter has taken to drinking in the early morning i hope you'll notice oh i had one here somewhere one with harry oh here it is i would seem to have three early morning drinkers i hope it won't become a club we'd have to get a license would we not just think of it as very late at night all right i will i tried i was honest didn't i wasn't there you were very honest father and you tried didn't i try claire wasn't i honest sure you were you tried i'm sorry i apologize what i find most astonishing aside from my belief that i will one day lose my mind but when never begin to think the years go by or that i'll not know if it happens or maybe even has what i find most astonishing i think is the wonder of daylight of the sun all the centuries millenniums all the history i wonder if that's why we sleep at night because the darkness still frightens us they say we sleep to let the demons out to let the mind go raving mad our dreams and nightmares all our logic gone around the dark side of our reason and when the daylight comes again comes order with it for edna and harry well they're safely gone and we'll all forget quite soon come now we can begin the day you

Channel: Brutus Alwaysmind

Views: 763

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: 1ua2bs0weyk

Length: 133min 54sec (8034 seconds)

Published: Thu May 13 2021