A Deep Dive On The Internets Most Hated Comedian - Brendan Schaub

how gangster is [Music] this three watch out watch out [Music] the real joke is whoever told brendan schwab he could do comedy i mean really hello everyone it's me leo but come on i'm not sure what's happening but this man thinks that he could do stand-up comedy and it is bad how bad so bad that i actually looked at both his specials and wrote a chat of the jokes that he makes because i wanted to break down his comedy specials and they've already been broken down by countless people the reason i wanted to talk about brandon schwab is i'm also a comedian believe it or not in fact when i was 16 i went to the new zealand stand-up comedy special the international festival and by 18 i was doing stand-up in high school here's a snippet i wanted to ask this girl to the ball and she was way over there and my friend started talking to me he said why don't you go talk to him i said i'm shy but this voice in my head came and said you're sexy and i started to walk right and when you walk and you're far away from a girl everything's fine your head starts talking i'm superman and then you get a bit closer and that voicing it fades i'm modest man and you get closer i'm just a man oh man i think i know my way around comedy but in case you don't think so let me actually show you the breakdown of brendan schwab's comedy routines sauce jokes jokes that he thinks are funny about him being gay in some way because he's a straight man dallas he seems to love dallas i don't know why all like he literally says and i'm all like and she's all like in every other sentence and i wanted to tell you that and the last thing he says is as [ __ ] that's the similar he uses it was cool as [ __ ] dallas believe me and i'm more like i just used all his jokes what i thought i'd do like i said was break down both his comedy specials and give you a short timeline on brendan schwab the man the myth the absolute legend and brendan if you're watching this and thinking that you're gonna take this video down joke's on you i don't give a [ __ ] i could care less if you liked the video at the end of it please consider subscribing you don't have to subscribe now but if you like it it would be cool while you're at it do follow me at 16 leo underscore that way you can give me props on getting a blue tick i guess i did today's video is sponsored by nordpass i don't know about you but i absolutely hate it when i try to log into any online account and i forget my password and they're like you need to reset it sure i could write down all my passwords and store them in a safe place but i usually end up using my facebook account to log into new websites apps or shops because it's so much faster but what happens if my facebook account gets hacked hacked like my youtube hackers would then get access to any and every account i've logged on through with my facebook account luckily nordpass has the perfect solution notepass is a password manager created by the cyber security experts who built nordvpn that safely manages all your passwords in one place it's easy to use for example if i wanted to sign up for a clothing website when it's time to choose a password nordpass automatically pops up and provides a strong suggested password which automatically saves to notepass you can even use the same account on up to six devices notepass syncs your credentials across your devices you don't need to type them in each time you pick up a new gadget get exclusive access to nordpass's best offer through the link in my description or use the code 16 at checkout to get an additional month for free thanks nordpass so like i said today is a deep deep scuba dive on brandon schwab whose last name i find hilarious because it sounds like something you order at an italian slash greek restaurant i'll have the schwab but let's start off at the very beginning brendon schwab was born great he was born with that facial hair don't know what that was but before he had it he was actually briefly into football he started with a little football career which he quickly gave up on um i'm looking at his stats right now 2004 2005 eight yards eight yards i'm not really an nfl player but um i mean to me it stands for nice leap he is six foot four which is congratulations for being that that tall ah there he is as a kid his position is full back which i'm sure he would tell you is how he likes it sus jokes um and yeah that was him before the weird facial hair that looks kinda like michael b jordan's leftovers but then on the flip side of that my mom was always really like but here is him talking about his football career and also interesting to note the people he sees as legends because they're gonna change throughout the series you see brennan schwab is not exactly a man of his word he kind of lies a lot and by a lot i mean a lot so she wanted for me to be like adam sandler or chris farley she wanted to be on saturday night lives it was this weird dynamic where i was the funny like athletic guy it's almost a blessing curse ah i love brandon schwab like self self what is what do you call it humble bragging my god i love it i was always the funny like athlete kind of guy it was like saturday night live but football brendan schwab in another episode of adam sandler happy gilmore more like happy gill [ __ ] i'll suck you off sauce joke you almost did the nfl right yeah so i had a cappuccino with the buffalo bills yeah they're like we're all set on slow white guys like say less and then i got my stuff and got out of there but you know as a kid like my heroes were like junior sail and all these nfl guys and i thought god if i just get the nfl it's gonna be like that's those was his euros junior seau and all the nfl guys tom brady braid my hair i don't know many nfl players you know willy wonka's chocolate factory like when that yeah willy wonka chocolate factory that's my favorite player in nfl he's the brownest guy there he's the chocolate thunder of the group chocolate thunder the kid gets in the factory like i'm gonna be like this is it baby like i made it and it was not like that and they don't have your name on your jersey and i was like dude you spelled my name wrong they're like we don't care so yeah that was his football career shortly after that he decided let me start kicking and punching people for money so he had a ufc career his record is stellar 10-5 10 wins five losses that's 50 that's you know in boxing that would be considered absolute trash but i don't know much about ufc i do know this man has a habit of getting knocked the hell out uh just by the way all things considered putting yourself out there and doing a sport like this is bravo to you i'm not gonna joke about that but at the same time those were some funny knockouts you should you should have said something about it brendan big brown schwab big brown schwab brendan big brown that sounds like [ __ ] like look like i mean literally that was his ufc career after that joe rogan told him to just not do that again and he listened but joe rogan is not only a podcaster but he used to be on fear factor but not only that he's also a comedian who tells jokes from time to time so brendan schwab saw that and was like you're my friend you do that i can do that and he started not only telling jokes but hosting his own podcast called the fighter and the kid he's also got one with theo vaughn i think and somehow his friends who are all comedians have led him to this influence to think that he is a comedian now i think as good friends you would sit your friend down and be like hello bro you're not funny i don't do ufc fighting i'm a comedian i punch people with my humor will smith not so much but nobody told brendan schwab this and he just had this unlimited confidence to start doing stand-up and that is what he started doing lies copyrights and joke theft before we get on to his unbelievably great stand up uh this man has been known to lie cheat and steal like eddie guerrero rest in peace but he also copyright smaller youtubers and i am smaller than other youtubers so i'm a little bit scared and by the way i hate brandon schwab i love brendan schwab he is the funniest man in existence he'd love his jokes funnier than kevin hart funnier than james chappelle he's so funny yeah anyway he's got he's copyrighted so many people and it's not actually him doing it if you look at the copyright holder it's actually joe rogan's company so joe rogan is strong arming them into giving up their content so that it's not making his friend look bad which i think is is pretty against what joe rogan stands for which is free speech of people right but also his joke theft is just unbelievable i mean you gotta listen to some of the jokes that he steals chris we've been losing 17 seconds into the fight this is not a joke this is actually him just plagiarizing someone else's speech about an nfl take which i find absolutely imagine taking the words out of someone's mouth and then putting it in your mouth and then regurgitating it it's not even a joke like you can't even think for yourself with the same shin injury that derailed the career and then the second fight between chris weidman and anderson silva dude hollywood would reject a script if you wrote that in because it would be just too impossible for the audience to believe two days later how yeah i mean if you wrote this for hollywood if you gave him a script and he gave him the story of chris weidman and how when he fought and silva then anderson kicks him you know [ __ ] bends his leg and breaks it and then he throws a kick and his leg breaks the exact same way as aaron shows did how i would go it's too on the nose beautiful he's plagiarizing another man's thoughts he's like inception except lazy it is crazy i feel like this is the spongebob episode where if you lift his head up you'll find just brain underneath there because i don't i think his head is unprotected at times you know my favorite food is fajitas i love fajitas do you like fajitas you ever get those yeah you do right they're good uh the next joke is nick swanson at the la factory telling a joke about fajitas which uh brendan schwab absolutely steals just fully steals the whole concept i don't even think it's a good joke because it's more than a meal it's very exciting when you order a fajita you order them and then a couple minutes later they bring them out and it is loud i want that same feeling i'm going to chili's in order fajitas you know what's up it's like smoke it's like fourth of july everyone's like oh my god what is that what the [ __ ] is that those for you is hit the floor [Music] what the [ __ ] right here i'm all like it's all i just cannot wait till we get to specials i'm just saying but he is plagiarizing the hell out of those fajitas is he not then it turns into an arts and crafts project another level of excitement tortillas you have all these little sour cream guac with tortillas so yeah he's pretty bad sort of like amy schumer which is a whole other topic but this man has been known to steal jokes and he does steal another joke which i will show in his stand-up comedy later directly from snl amazing but here is him lying and it is beautiful i'm not sure why he lies the way he does but he seems to be an uncontrollable lyle like he doesn't even know he's lying a half the time maybe a compulsive lie at that here's him lying about being poor after he says he's rich you know i'm the dumb one in the family so my my brother's a computer programmer so my father created like basically like any of the high security email encrypted emails that like the government uses or like wow so he's pretty well off huh because he created two key encryption for governments this man has nuclear secrets in his ass or something he's definitely got some money stored up that ass your dad's got some money in his ass my dad is like the ultimate businessman the ultimate so when i was 10 i grew up in venice in the summers because my uncle had a house here okay so your uncle is uh from venice beach california a place where people who are well off stay okay got it and he's your uncle and also your dad literally created government encryption okay i grew up in that and he was a professional bodybuilder so i grew up in that atmosphere i grew up in the summers being around my uncle who's insanely successful in a crazy businessman of course he's not only a bodybuilder he bulls koreas as well because you know you got to put whey protein in the korea then my dad too and i remember and a bodybuilder and a bodybuilder okay he's a bodybuilding businessman he he makes gains financially and physically he's the arnold schwarze businessman he might as well have said arnold schwarzenegger was his uncle at this point the way burn and schwab tells stories you never know how gangster is this in fourth grade i brought my phone up like so i wore my cleats to school so if i walk through the hallways and it was like clanking everyone's making fun i'm like hi [ __ ] with recess so here's where the story goes awry he bought cleats to wear in school because he thinks he's a fancy boy and he's wearing cleats in venice beach nothing really weird especially in venice beach in fact that might even be the most normal thing in venice beach so he's wearing cleats here's the part where he suddenly lies for no reason so i wore those every day for the rest of the year but what's great about that my mom loved it because we didn't grow up with a lot of money because there were the molded cleats so by the end of the year they wore down my mom's like see you got shoes now and there it is we didn't have a lot of money growing up my cleats literally wore down to shoes i wore them that much that they wore down to shoes my uncle was a professional bodybuilding businessman from venice beach and my dad created pretty much government encryption but i couldn't afford more than one pair of cleats because we grew up poor brother brava [Applause] phantom of the opera a real great performance there brendan i just have no idea why the needless lies just continue he just seems to always be lying insanely successful in a crazy businessman my mom loved it because we didn't grow up with a lot of money uh now we get to the copyright section and i'll let critical take this uh because he said it better yeah baby that's what i've been waiting for that's what it's all about there's an absolutely awful comedian named brendan schaub who is currently suing a small youtuber over jokes they made about him and why this is a big deal is because brendan shaw is going after him because of the jokes he made but also because he showed clips of his podcast you know i have a lawsuit against this youtuber who's a small time youtuber oh it's this guy who's big in the space doing the smaller guy so there it is brendan schwab is uh suing a small youtuber over the use of clips used in his show unfortunately he's infringing on that fair use policy that people so often do on youtube and when they don't like something set up a case for absolutely no reason i've had it happen to me over literally nothing it is absolutely the worst it's so hard to fight and it's such a loophole in the system and if you do it you're a petty person but what critical goes on to say is that brennan schwab by doing this is effectively setting a precedent on himself so that if he somehow wins this lawsuit and copyright and fair use on clips like that get copyrighted then him reacting to clips on his own podcast would be copyrighted and he would basically implode everyone brendan schwab has the power to ruin everything if brendan shaw somehow won this then it actually hurts brendan shaw too because from what i understand he also reacts to videos and uses clips from other things in order to joke and criticize so if he wins this case he [ __ ] himself too okay so let's also talk about brendan schwab ruining relationships now this is a video for itself and if you like this video let me know in the comments down below because i might actually do a whole video on the situation with bobby lee and kalila that's her name i was going to call her kayla brendan schwab somehow managed to ruin his friend's relationship in the process of everything else bad footballer bad ufc bad comedian bad podcaster horrible friend apparently ruining relationships i don't want to spend too much time talking about it but basically what happened is because he tried to hit on bobby lee's girlfriend who at the time wasn't the girlfriend i'd i'm hoping it might have been the girlfriend at the time he might just be a disgusting person she said no and she spoke about him on her podcast and she said the words bs and horrible comedian and everyone was like bs [ __ ] horrible comedian that's brendan schwab i had a guy that was like why don't you walk me to my truck this married guy where i'm like and we know him i'm not gonna say who it is and creating this false narrative of cheating on my wife like you should walk me to my truck i'm like so what i can blow you like wait who was it so everybody just knew it was him and he got so offended that he released private information about them being in an open relationship sorry it's out now um and it really really ruined their relationship brendan schwab is a home somehow this man adds to his tally of [ __ ] every time and we're not even up to the stand up yet cheating on my wife [Applause] this is just horrible by the way brendan schwab you know unfaithful to his wife is one thing in itself i just i don't know who found all these dms but congratulations to you i mean i cannot believe this man has been shooting a shot like the great late kobe bryant my goodness but he's also been missing every shot like the late great kendrick perkins who's not even dead [Music] [Music] don't go [Music] yeah that's that's married man brendan schwab oh yeah so he ruins his relationship other people's relationships his career podcasting bad comedian have you ever met a man who failed at everything he did geez you text bobby asking if he's handled the quote-unquote kalila [ __ ] yet because you're still getting negative comments i don't want to have to get nasty with her but if i have no choice i can def play that game brendon schwab also literally went on a podcast and got roasted like a filet mignon for some reason talking to kalila and bobby lee and he wanted to defend himself it didn't really work out the way that it was supposed to but she's no saint either and that is a situation for another time this man has made more jokes without holding a mic than he ever did with one it's crazy the amount of funny he can be when he's not trying he's like the joker there's so many different things so many different elements elements to it right it was a dark time it was very fragile so it was you know we actually broke up for a while yes in fact schultz knew that because when schultz came here we were broken up yeah so after doing all that destruction this man decided hey let me make some stand up comedy in 2019 he released his first stand up which is called you'd be surprised that's the name that's i didn't i'm also just as surprised he has a stand-up comedy it's got a amazing rating of 1.5 out of 10 on imdb the synopsis reads a modern day renaissance man schwab is a former footballer retired mma fighter and current podcast host now he adds another achievement to his resume he takes to the stage to tell his tales and is forced to have a stand-up comedy special yeah he's a renaissance man he's a relationship rooney a liar a cheetah a fat husband horrible friend a [ __ ] podcaster he's he's a renaissance man in the fact that he can't do anything equally i'm just gonna read the top of some of the reviews warm moist turd with a touch of steam i went deaf watching this special platoon was funnier than this oh before we start brendan schwab has a habit of laughing at his own jokes and doing this weird thing so that's annoying and i just wanted to bring attention to that sounds like you have to say bless you after every time he tells a joke because he either sneezed or you just really feel sorry for the man for trying it's real cockfest in here though huh so the first thing that i wanted to bring attention to is is stand-up specials uh one called gringo poppy the one released after this and the one called you'd be surprised he opens with the same joke practically it's a real [ __ ] fest in here real cockfest in here though huh all right that's cool it's a real cockfest uzi at these things love that he just that's his opener no matter what he could be at any place he could be at literally a woman's strip club it's a real cockfest in here i don't know what to say that was my opener i'm glad that's a woman i love you too good to see you a little different there are some ladies in the crowd tonight oh my god he even did the same thing with his hands this guy actually had it planned out he was like it's a real cockfest in here there's some ladies in the crowd two years later it is a real cockfest in here there are some ladies in the crowd i get my hair cut every tuesday because i'm an [ __ ] this mexican dude he gives the best haircut ever ah mexican humor man i almost forgot to write that down mexican let's put a big one there yeah he seems to bag a lot on mexican humor and sometimes a couple other racially racially motivated jokes i guess this man has used humor from the 1970s which he was born in or something but it is very dated and just isn't funny i have a weird suspicion he married his wife because he'd be able to tell jokes about her but you tell me he's the only dude i let touch my hair he's the best he knew i had a big week and i go to check in on tuesday i'm all is jesus here i'm old and i'm all like of the same thing to me uh i'm putting that one for i'm all the amount of times this man says i'm all or i'm all like makes him sound like a teenager from like the 1990s i'm not sure who actually says that these days i haven't heard anybody except britney the white girl say i'm a like like stop and he's all like uh and i'm all like please i cannot believe that's an actual thing that he's doing because nobody in their right mind would actually say that that would be like grabbing a fidget spinner and starting to spin it at the start of your set unironically because you think that [ __ ] is cool he took his kids to disneyland they go but don't sweat it bro we got jamal here he's very good this dude comes out of the bathroom he's all yeah he's all he's all they're all it's all oh my god what's up man i'm jamal he was asian as [ __ ] there you go he was asian as [ __ ] well that's two that's racial humor and as [ __ ] have you ever been asian as [ __ ] can you please explain that similarly to me brendan what is asian as [ __ ] what does that mean and what is with the weird skippity walk that you do after the joke [Applause] [Music] is that is that something that i don't know you told a joke it landed you like after every joke do you have to do a power rangers pose really married a mexican y'all i made a mexican ah back to the mexican humor this is from his gringo poppy set but i just wanted to add this in i don't mean like taco bell mexican no no no no i'm talking guadalajara came to the states 10 years ago illegally mexican always good to throw your wife under the bus because if you do it in stand-up you can't be charged with it i feel way better about this if i needed help with math or some [ __ ] you know there we go classic asian joke i thought he was going to do something about driving but he went with math jamal asian but somehow wanted to do math this man is using jokes that i used to in school when i was two years old and then i realized by three that's not cool this is like lori harvey dated very much dated oh [ __ ] bro gave it the old kim jong-un vibe huh that's kind of weird why would you even say that i mean i don't even know what that was okay so we've had he's good at math and he gave it the old kim jong-un so if you're asian the cuts you have to do uh kim jong-un mr bean somehow and uh i guess that number one fade that some of the asian kids have with their hair's all prickly that's not good man i uh i know i dress like an [ __ ] guys i know this yeah you do what is with the dress sense of brandon schwab by the way why does he look halfway in between eddie murphy's raw special and just a kid who went to school and is 13. like what is the glitter gold why do you have a glitter jacket on man this is distracting from your jokes is that why you got it right before i go on stage i look at my brother i go how do i look he goes you look like a lama i think that's good i'll see you out there okay here we go ah there it is back to the walk and actually doing that weird dance that he does after every other joke when it lands i was touring all over texas and they do not like fashion forward men out there i they do not like my kind out there i love you texas that's awesome oh there's another live from the likes of brendan schwab he loves texas and also hates it at the same time i love it two different specials two completely different opinions don't you love a man who changes an opinion every special these are the baggiest jeans i own this is me dressing down for my other friends out there in houston they were so tight they were you'd see my dick wrinkles they were so got in tight yeah brendan schwab takes the time to make jokes about showing his dick and you know what he does it again in the other special he literally makes time to talk about his dick this man is less of a comedian and more of a physical [ __ ] boy that thinks that his stand up special is a tinder special and people are going to swipe right on him after the show i mean just look at the dms can you tell a joke that doesn't involve your dick please jerry the uber driver goes remember even jesus can save your type he thinks you suck dick ah there it is the first of many slash gage wow good one brendan cause you dressed a certain way people automatically assume that you are a gay man and that is funny because he's straight and the humor is that he completely doesn't do that it's just funny we might as well be driving a tampon down that highway so the next joke he makes is about him and his brother which i just find absolutely i mean my brother had no idea we just had the top down just two thickies frolicking with each other that's kind of weird it's not too weird but it's kind of weird to talk about your brother like that but anyway they were looking at us like we were two gay wreck-it ralphs going down the highway well now it's weird you know it's kind of weird i'm talking about your mother [Music] it was exhausting the way they looked at us exhausting like we were sucking each other off at every stop i'm like all right all right [Music] let's just not forget about the fact that he said and i quote my dad's washing this is my first stand-up special dad must be learning some new things today papa's in the backseat hey the first time this pops probably come on brandon jesus chris this is what i put you in the ufc for this how have you been winning brendan you got five win you got ten wins how many of them were suck mission what and give me a slurpee as soon as the word slurpee came out my mouth i thought [ __ ] i love slurpees he really really likes slurpees he said that like a real like like a girlish almost like give me a slurpee yes yes give me a slurpee what was that about i didn't was that the punchline brandon did you love slurpies okay well i guess it's funny but it's it's also creepy i don't need your guns they're right here okay cool here we go there you go boys there you go boys that is some that is why this man retired that that is just fantastic i never seen someone less athletic in my life before my goodness what a move that was that is like mortal kombat if the character is aged i wanna do next month you wanna do penguins i don't give a what do you wanna do also this is not the first time that he has made a joke about kicking an animal in his next special gringo poppy he talks about kicking a cat and then insinuates it and actually mimics it he thinks kicking animals is funny i've never found something less funny than that but okay brace yourself dad remember remember hulk hogan in the 90s that freaking dime piece of a man the early 90s ah yes now he will talk about the dime piece that is hulk hogan because that's relevant information in today's world do you even know who hulk hogan is he's the guy who i know says brother a lot i think he also had like a blonde moustache which is just fantastic and i think he was bald that's all i know about him but he will go on to talk about his sex tape in front of his dad by the way while we're at it let's just break down why brennan schwab sucks at comedy and um i think this is an important thing to break down and i think it's pretty valid in what's saying this man if we look at his holy career which i thought was important to look at has had everything handed to him in life it doesn't look like a man who's had to fight for anything and that may not sound important but comedy is usually rooted in some sort of sense of desperation usually they say the best stand-ups are hungry stand-ups and what they mean by that are people who are fighting for survival that's when you write the best jokes it's like musicians their earliest work is usually their most creative and best because they have literally everything to gain and they offer the best of them it's usually when you start when you're at your most vulnerable when your back is against the wall and you have nothing to lose when you give your best walk and this man has never had nothing to lose he's always had something therefore he's never had to fight for it and therefore he's never had to write a good joke he's never felt the need to do anything other than be mediocre and unfortunately that is what his standup is amounting to it just shows a picture of someone who's never had to fight for anything and the jokes are as mediocre as the audience i'm sorry brandon but that's just the assessment that i'm giving now back to the hulk hogan jokes he was chiseled out of freaking marble he was perfect man and his freaking bronze skin oh my god to die for i'm just i'm gonna put one down in the i don't that's just okay 22 minutes sitting on my couch with my [ __ ] in my hand i go bro you owe it to hulk hogan to jack off to a sex tank i'm all i hear you man i'm all i'm all i hear you man oh [ __ ] my phone's ringing clip it's my son nick i thought that was funny i don't know why no one laughed at the fact that he said flip when he opened the phone clip [Music] that seems like something he'd do what's up brother like oh [ __ ] what's up brother yeah yeah jacking off to hulk hogan i guess that could be pretty that's that's a gig yeah shout out to brandon schwab's dad for having him and having to sit through this stand-up special watching your son say your brother blows you and also you jacked off to hulk hogan that's fantastic comedy right there god gotta love it gotta be a weird car ride home huh and as i kept going i thought oh [ __ ] this ends one way one way only i get to see my hero bust a knot that's that's i thought his hero is junior seau in all nfl players apparently it's hulk hogan now busting a nut since i was a child i fantasized about hulk hogan busting nuts nope that's just i don't even know what that is and there's just two random bald eagles in his room just swooping up and down like this he goes slap one he's like don't you [ __ ] touch him brother and his dick's doing his vintage move like this i did find this one funny i thought him calling the gold brother and then the dick going up slowly because it's he's an old man i thought that was the only good joke that this man had and unfortunately the stand up special is an hour long now if you look at his other stand-up special it's half an hour long they cut his time in half also they didn't put it on hbo they put it on nothing you'll see the background and the quality decrease so so much my brain is so brave it's like big man you got this don't sweat it so the next joke he makes is about him being high and after being high him driving home and trying to eat mcdonald's it's a very very long story now as a stand-up comedian i think if you have a long story it should come with a good punchline or a good set of jokes in between uh someone like the great robin williams would tell you lots of stories and in between have a hundred different punch lines and a hundred different accents that kept your mind engaged with the jokes and humor but brennan schwab makes you fall off to sleep he's like the meditation if you're having trouble sleeping put on brendan schwab you'll be knocked up i was so high man so anyone that drove by a bike all right let's add another one to the telly whoop i pull this mcdonald's it's two in the morning there should be no one there nah it's the crunkest mcdonald's you've ever seen in your life ever clearly you don't know why everyone goes through a drive-through at 2 am in mcdonald's it's because everyone else is high you're not the only one you should have made a joke about the fact that you were like worried about being high everyone else there is probably a stoner waiting to get a mcnugget combo are you kidding me why else would mcdonald's ever operate they know that the stoners come out at 2am when i look down i see a gentleman eating a 20-piece mcnugger sweet sour sauce my high brain goes bro suck his dick and get those nuggets let's just come in right here and just put a little one over there and needlessly suck his dick for nuggets you know what yolo and [ __ ] walk by all the cars you would've thought i came off naked and afraid for 21 days there's only about 10 yards i was all i thought he was sucking someone off he's still all like i'm all they're all has anybody thought to tell him maybe not use those words maybe not write a joke like that has anyone ever proof read any of his stand up or is it just in italics that they can't read and joe rogan and the rest of them are like it's good brandon can someone please quality control this man the next time he holds a mic someone's just like nope every time brandon just like his ufc career someone just blocks him defends someone needs to defend him i took out my credit card i went shut up [ __ ] i will pay for everyone's goddamn meal if you just give me my food first she goes really i went i swear to god so yeah that was the humble flex of brendan schwab the punchline is that she did not want to accept his order but because he said he'd pay for everyone she got somehow either turned on or somehow had a change of mind to the point she was like okay yeah yeah i'm gonna let you do that and he paid for everyone's order because that's that's what he does and brennan schwab likes to flex his money because he's just that type of guy by the way kevin hart net worth 450 million dollars never really heard him flex in that capacity dave chappelle he does make jokes every now and again saying he's rich but it's funny it's not a weird humble flex three large fries three mcflurries one of each different flavor that's the punchline people are laughing at the punch line three mcflurries with one of every different flavor this is what i paid brendan to see i paid six dollars for this felt like trump when he bought the clemson tigers they're mcdonald's it was the happiest night of my life that's the happiest i've ever been this man has kids and a wife but i just find that funny that he didn't mention that the happiest i've ever been i have two kids and a wife but this is the happiest that i've ever been he didn't he just every time he has the opportunity to make a joke he avoids that and goes straight back to what he's normally doing i got very sick i got very very sick that order cost me 3 600 no it didn't though because there is no way you and paying for everyone else in that place cost 3 600 do you know how much food you'd have to get at mcdonald's you'd have to get half the restaurant worth of hamburgers you'd have to be the hamburglar who somehow ends up paying for all his food that he stole in order to even get that tab are you kidding me why would you lie about something like that what a needless lie by brendan schwab i just don't get why he lies about stuff like this it's so random 3600 i've ordered food for five people it came to like a hundred and something bucks you could have ordered for everyone in the drive-through it could have been 100 people you would have paid no more than four or five hundred dollars please i know that it's not a big thing but it's such an arbitrary lie for no reason why i got me ah that's the punch line really i got me oh god ah he probably was happy when he wrote that one too he was like brendan you're done it again yeah big boy mick really happy with himself with that one huh jesus christ i cannot believe that's the joke that he went with i don't look like a traditional comic sorry we interrupt my speech because brendan schwab is trying to say the word traditional one more time brendan i don't look like your traditional comic what did he say i don't look like a traditional comic i crawl through some [ __ ] to get to this stage like andy dufresne and shawshank redemption so now brendan schwab finishes his stand-up set by saying that he's not like every other comedian who's had an easy journey to get there because as we all know all comedians have an easy journey especially richard prowl who was homeless and had a horrible childhood and used his experiences on stage to talk about his life and actually gain a career but no no brandon schwab is the real hero he's like andy dufresne from shawshank redemption crawling over that pile of [ __ ] that he calls a stand-up special tell me the story brandon this exact moment that i'm sharing with you guys tonight this has been a dream of mine jim carrey adam sandler robin williams those were his idols jim carrey robin williams and adam sandler even though his idol was junior seau and all the nfl players this is what i mean this man switches up every single time i'm so surprised his wife didn't come home one day and he was like yes yes it is me charlie sheen what's up i seriously seriously have no idea how you could sit in a room with this man and understand the amount of lies that he probably tells in order to one-up himself every time he's like a boy who constantly needs to prove to himself that he's better than he was before then when i was seven my dad walked up to me he had a football in his hand he was all let's cut the [ __ ] quit acting like a jackass in school making everybody laugh you're the biggest seven-year-old we've ever seen yeah stop making everyone laugh brendan yeah humble bragging everybody you're seven years old just doing stand up my hero is robin williams and junior say ow i want to throw a ball and do stand-up comedy i want to do stand-up comedy with my balls matter of fact i have an aunt louise who lives in san diego if you're here tonight louise [ __ ] you just kidding dad love you that's the least of your dad's concerns i mean he's probably worried about you blowing your brother but anyway my little humble house i grew up in a small house in denver colorado yeah a little humble house small house dad was security government security little small house war cleats cletes got worn down uncle lived in venice beach didn't live in denver colorado lived in venice beach when he was growing up but he also lived in denver colorado humble home small you tell me on a map where brendan schwab lives and i'll give you 10 bucks because i don't know but my favorite movie of all time is on ace ventura with jim carrey and my father comes bursting into that living room and that was a low kick bro i don't know how high with the doors he was like that was a low door he needs to be up there man what are you talking about son i'm in my locker room mgm warming up my giant hawaiian opponent what separates us about two inches of drywall so he goes on to tell a joke about him in the ufc having one of the biggest fights of his career his dad watching and he gets beaten up that is the gist of the joke it really doesn't go anywhere and it is very very very long with the amount of lack of humor it has he's just now telling a story as if this is a podcast and the jokes are few and far between no come on you look like a goddamn champion tonight and i hit that crowd my walkout music kids it's rocky it's all bomb yeah i know how the music sounds bro i don't you don't have to tell me what it's all like and then do it please brendan pl we only have an hour please you don't have to do rocky music i see my papa sitting cage side shout out to will smith yes shout out to will smith the only person in ufc that everyone fears i mean he's the only person who did it in a suit let's just say that everyone had to do it in underwear will smith shout out i see the a-lister himself leonardo dicaprio with two girls on each arm like this bro i've seen titanic 1 thousand times son yeah that's the latest movie he's been in hey is leonardo dicaprio from what's eating gilbert grape where's rose i'm talking with you man that's a horrible joke even on a stand-up special that's like asking johnny depp where's willy wonka yeah charlie in the chocolate factory and i see my ex-girlfriend sit in the front row i'm all well well well i'm all well well well look with the cat drugging couldn't get enough the big man could you yeah that's probably what it was and you're eating at the food court there panda express and a real gang member like tattoos all over his face it's across from me look at this [ __ ] and then they catch you look at me like oh [ __ ] damn what kind of panda express do you go to i mean panda express is fantastic but have you seen many crips at a panda spread do they order the red hot chili or what did they do i never seen it before brendan what the hell do you go to inglewood to get your panda express god damn son all i could think about was leonardo dicaprio sit in the front row and one scene in particular from titanic was on a loop just over and over over and over you must have angels flying out to your arse that's my favorite scene from the movie oh forget it boyle you just like have angels fly out of your arse has got next to the likes of her you remember that scene in titanic when rose about to jump off the giant cruise ship in the freezing cold water he's like wait rose give me your hand you don't want to do this i'll save you it's a great recap of titanic give me your hand quickly just do it oh you are so annoying why don't you just jump idiot i'm staring at little capri like this come on man i'll suck your dick brandon rose guaranteed then not really but you know what i'm saying yeah i know what you're saying but still i'm going in and off consciousness while fists rain down on my face i'm doing the concussion shuffle like this so anyway brandon schwab gets his ass beaten and uh he goes back to his locker where everyone is disappointed and his friend comes to console him that is the long-winded story now the corner of my i see this mom with two twin boys she was offering me a hug and she had some big ass titties there's some tiggle bitties lady oh he literally said the world he said take old buddies he literally my high school friend used to say that because he thought it was funny this man has literal child humor i don't know whether he got knocked out in so many fights that he's literally suffering and this is the apex of his comedy or he's actually just this dumb i don't know i'm sorry if i'm being really harsh by the way brendan but like god damn it man why why is why is brendan able to do this i i admit it's fine for him to do stand-up at the la factory but to get his own stand up special he's making a joke out of comedy and do you know how hard that is to do you must be andy kaufman-esque to be making a joke out of the idea of stand-up comedy this man is taking one of the purest forms of entertainment and putting gay jokes on it i just i don't get it yes you got this yeah i'm slapping asses right on flipping dicks get them no one cares don't care yeah all right then well just keeps going this giant asian doctor walks up to and goes mr shab i'm sorry for your loss don't do the accent don't what the what's that about what why would you do that no don't do that that was needless you didn't do it the first time for jamal mr shaab i have to numb your lip you need many many stitches this be worth paying your life guaranteed just be worse pain in your life guarantee what do you think this man do you think he just got out of guatemala or something what what what do you think this man he just came fresh off the boat or something this guy pro he's a doctor for ufc you don't think he can speak proper english better than that this is going to be worse pain in your life emotional damage at the corner of my eye can see my boss at the time dana white my eskimo brother jacking off to my demise yeah yeah yeah all right then all right okay this is how your movie ends man you're never gonna be the heavyweight champion in the world i didn't get to hang out with my friends late i didn't play video games no soda no candy no girls no dudes for the most part i mean i was just about to say he had a poignant actual end to speech where he was telling the story about how his movie ended and how you know to him he wanted to be the hero and he felt like he failed his father but of course he added a little dude joke there to just live he just spiced things up you know lovely i see a pair of sandals walk in i thought who in the hell would they let back here in sandals is my best friend brian cowan who is also accused of doing some horrible stuff look it up the company you keep is the company that makes you weep gandhi ryan kel and i took a taxi and we came up with a game plan of me never getting punched in the face again and pursuing my passion of stand-up comedy and that's how i got here so brendan schwab ends the special by saying that after getting punched in the face he realized that ufc wasn't for him and his best friend and him went from las vegas to l.a and they had a plan for him to do stand-up comedy and it's not actually the worst ending to a special but it sucks considering there was no jokes in between so that is how he ends the special with a sob story and i'm sorry that it's a sob story because it's actually a pretty decent story all things considered but it's more of a podcasting than a stand-up thing and i just if you're gonna compare him to other contemporaries like bulbar or maybe louis ck pre-jackoff these are people who really put in the time and effort they have a unique voice in stand-up comedy because always i always say this the great comedians don't just say funny things they say things funny and what i mean by that is certain comedians have a particular way of looking at things that other people don't see it and when they see it they really burst out laughing and they love the way other people think and that is special to only certain minds and brendan schwab has the mind of most teenagers so he might be a dane cook at best i don't know but that was his stand-up special 1.5 stars apparently platoon was funnier and it absolutely was willem dafoe dying in platoon like 10 times hilarious but he follows the stand-up special with another one just three years later in 2022 this year he released another special called the gringo poppy it's half as long half as funny which is hard to believe and the budget is one-tenth let's watch if you're wondering why dallas only has one mention you're about to find out okay here it is the last one gringo poppy here are some of the highlights we're almost done with this deep deep deep dive and at the end i guess i'll have to break down his score the gringo poppy 1.1 out of 10 so it actually somehow is worse than the first one you'd think that 1.5 is the lowest someone could do and they just lower the bar like limbo the gringo poppy a stand-up comedy special written and performed by brandon schwab wow he went from renaissance man to yeah they made it as usual the reviews are fantastic terrible kinda racist even worse than his last special an incredible feat he managed to produce a special worse than his last bottom of the barrel one star is being nice another disaster yeah you're gonna hear a lot about dallas in this one because he performed it in dallas and i swear to you in this 25 minutes at least 12 of them are dedicated to the dallas crowd my demo 18 to 36 bros that's that's what i specialize in uh he's wearing far less than he was in the first special and if you look at the background it's made out of cardboard uh the special really has gone downhill if you if you want me to be honest uh the production value has just just lowered it's a real cockfest juicy at these things the classic line i see i love you texas there it is it's good to be in dallas yeah it is i can't go through it on a lockdown straight up my the shop household barely made it through the last one dallas my lockdowns damn fran dallas my lockdown is different do you notice the way that he also has the inflection of perhaps many of the uh contemporary latino comedians such as george lopez specifically actually him but even gabriel iglesias some other comedians who are from that region the way that they deliver lines for some reason brendan schwab resorts to saying lines much like mexican comedians just because he's the gringo poppy doesn't mean he has to do delivery like them you know what i mean i got a five-year-old two-year-old parents know what i'm talking about i would rather do anything else than be locked down with those demons 24 7. you got it berate your kids i mean you love swearing at kids you did it in the last special the special is no different you also kick animals and you hate your wife continue she was fighting with me [ __ ] a faulty ninja delta ninja mask what are we gonna do opinion you know seeing myself oh my god my life would be so much easier if i was just gay as [ __ ] oh we got a double gay as [ __ ] lovely if i was locked down with the bros dallas we'd like play video games all day we'd work out at night we'd [ __ ] each other is he even trying anymore not really sure what's happening here he even lofted his own joke as if he didn't write it and you know he wrote it down and rubbed it out in his [ __ ] pen dallas i never thought i'd say this to a live audience i love you texas i realize my girl's not cool yeah so he goes on to tell stories about his wife not being a cool person now usually when we do humor we do self-deprecating humor we can do stuff about the wife you can do stuff about your perspective often but it needs to be in a way in which you're still the protagonist of the story if you want to be an antagonist as a comedian that is a very hard thing to pull off and you have to be very cynical but brennan schwab tries to be the good guy and the bad guy at the same time you have to know your audience and you have to know what you are in order to be a good comedian and brandon schwab is just trying everything at once he's a renaissance man if you will all his little friends out front in the first day outfits i'm like oh my god you guys are cute as [ __ ] i need to document this aot cute as [ __ ] you're cute as [ __ ] you're cute as a pile of [ __ ] love that i text it to my girl crap out the uglies resent i married a mexican y'all i made a mexican yeah yeah you did you did you didn't have to say it twice but sure go on it's a beautiful thing to marry a mexican person but anyway i freaking this one my boys goes dude dude papi what are you doing bro get with a latina bro your bro called you poppy your bro called you papi papi chulo you're broke i might have to add some more to that one bro i don't know if my bro has ever called me poppy he's called me by my name girl spicy you know what spicy means they're [ __ ] that's what that means a real mexican dishes y'all real [ __ ] from the motherland he then starts going on a mexican fueled special rant i guess where most of his jokes are about mexican culture and some weird stereotypes and then he steals from keenan thompson on snl i'm talking huevos and terrell [Music] you can make mofongo carnessa there it is he literally took that same delivery and thing from kenan thompson and expected nobody to notice that's one of my favorite bits i cannot believe he actually put that in his special expecting nobody to be like your delivery and weird punchline is the same as keenan's on that joke why that 23andme they sent me drive mayonnaise back i am white as [ __ ] dallas yeah what is white as [ __ ] can someone explain to me what is white as [ __ ] is that where you just go outside and every light turns green and you have a great day what what what exactly does that mean i know you know i'm on keto she goes miho miho bueno andale me o mio she grabs this straight she goes cabron cabron look taquitos nice good yeah lovely mexican humor for the crowd as usual oh the other thing you should know about dana mexican nobody told me this there's many flaming hot cheetos all over your house that's just plain racial i don't really even it's like saying indian people just smell of curry is it true no it isn't they love them they love them it's like catnip for mexican that's not appropriate either i don't get it why would you do this you know if it was your race maybe if you start doing indian humor and it's really scathing people are going to be like why are you saying that brendan you're white as [ __ ] to quote yourself so i don't know why you're making mexican humor i guess because you think your wife is mexican i mean she is mexican but because she is you think it's okay to make these jokes which it is not it's just weird apparently the mexican culture turned 15 is a big deal white people we don't give a [ __ ] these mexicans gave all the [ __ ] yeah that was my favorite joke from this special and it's not even a joke he said they don't give a [ __ ] these mexican game holder and he just he didn't even laugh nobody laughed it was just a very funny way to say that and nobody found it funny and i found it hilarious that was the funniest joke from a stand-up all 25 minutes they're there with their amigos i was taking my family out for dinner the other night my family i mean all 15 of them yeah he then goes into one last amazing joke about how lots of mexicans can fit into cars because you know back in the immigration days they would smuggle people into cars and they can all fit and that's what migrants do very funny humor by a man who grew up in venice beach you have your own car i will text you address we will meet at the restaurant she goes no me hoe we fit sure enough we fit y'all we [ __ ] pick there it is another one oh i know me my girl we're not doing well that's right we're not doing well yeah he then ends the special by talking about how him and his girlfriend are not doing well and they needed to go to couples counseling but somehow makes this again by mexicans watch this we're driving a couple's therapy she's crying just because she ran on flaming hot cheetos nice funny it says dr rodriguez i get out i'm like we did not go in there dallas i love that nobody laughed it [Music] i love her nobody laughed at that but he probably practiced that like a dance move like left right right left left up down god damn it brendan can you do anything right induce yourself right i'll pick some mexican cookies and you go over them like mexican cookies what are you talking about it's like a chocolate chip with sauce all over it what are you talking about nice just more of that just fantastic [Applause] people actually booed at that one if you hear it back if you replay that someone is like boo at this point it's just too much the special is just literally bagging on the mexican culture and it is just wildly inappropriate um that is probably the best way to end his special because it is just fantastically bad brandon schwab is a comedian the same way russell crowe is a singer which is to say that neither of them is good at what they're doing and i have listened to a whole hour of this man perform stand-up comedy in two different specials three different years apart and my consensus is that not only hasn't he learnt during that time he's actually gotten worse at stand-up comedy and i don't know if he's gonna do another one unlike dj khaled i hope he doesn't brenden schwab is a lot of things none of them are good and all i can say is that i hope that people like his podcast i'm sure he's a decent person but this man really doesn't have any business doing stand-up comedy hopefully he gets better at podcasting and i'm not going to assume for trying unlike some people hopefully he finds his way or his voice because he's still got time he's young he's only 40 and some stand-up comedians start at 50. so maybe the dude will actually learn but until he actually finds his voice and something to say something to stand for and a unique way of looking at it all he's going to have is this 16 gay jokes 10 what's up dallas's about 13 we're all like 5 as [ __ ] and 21 mexican jokes in one special this man is crazy that has been my deep dive on brandon schwab i hope you've enjoyed it please subscribe if you uh like the video if you want me to do that one on bobby lee and his girlfriend please let me know and brandon if you're watching this i have a joke for you knock knock don't open the door please go back to wherever you need to go and learn how to do comedy sincerely everyone on the internet thank you bye bye love ya thanks again to nordpass for sponsoring today's video check on the link in my description to get their best offer and use my code 16 at the checkout to get an additional month for free [Music]

Channel: sixteenleo

Views: 898,698

Keywords: sixteenleo, sixteenleo comedy, 16leo, brendan schaub, joe rogan, thiccc boy, internet culture, reddit, youd be surprised, gringo papi, brendan schaub bobby lee, the fighter and the kid, Reddit’s Most Hated Comedian, Seeing Brendan Schaub Live Was a Mistake

Id: Df_n3vR3c_k

Length: 63min 0sec (3780 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 19 2022