7 Things No Programmer Ever Wants to Hear

being a software engineer sucks I was told I would be working in a fast-paced exciting environment but in reality I'm stuck in this cubicle building super complex stuff that nobody understands or appreciates if I had a time machine I would do two things one I would tell harambe to get away from that kid and two I would go back to school to become a civil engineer so I could work outside building stuff everyone admires like Bridges and skyscrapers unfortunately I haven't figured out how to build a time machine in JavaScript yet now I would never recommend anybody choose software engineering as a career but if you do make bad life choices like me you should be prepared for some really bad things to happen like every doctor eventually loses a patient and every pilot eventually crashes a plane likewise every software engineer will eventually face a merge conflict and that's not even very bad in today's video we'll look at seven different devastating text messages that no developer ever wants to hear speaking of which I finally started a Discord so feel free to chat with me over there after this video we've got some T-shirts and licenses to jetbrain software to give away over there one of the biggest problems with software engineering is that you don't want your friends and family to find out what you do the reason is you'll get messages like this from your uncle or old roommate asking if you want to build an app together it will consist of a very dumb idea that's impossibly complex to execute like uber but for horses or Tick Tock without the Chinese with a 5 hundred dollar budget messages like this are so painful because software Engineers are usually introverts who have a hard time saying no what you'll want to do is respond and say hey that's an awesome idea I would love to build it for you but my rate is 300 an hour what they'll likely do is come back with a counteroffer of zero dollars per hour but 10 equity in the company which will eventually be worth billions that's pretty much Checkmate trust speaks for itself I would just recommend accepting the offer and building the app to get them to go away now when you're not building apps for friends and family you should be working on your own side projects and in doing that you'll likely use the cloud like AWS one of the worst messages you can receive is a cloud billing alert like hey it's AWS your 25 budget has been exceeded by 2.3 million dollars maybe you click the wrong button or accidentally created an infinite Loop but the important thing here is not to panic the easiest solution is to just stop using AWS and pretend nothing ever happened if Jeff ever sends his guys after you just tell them your account got hacked that may or may not work and if it doesn't you can at least find comfort in knowing there are many other homos people out there who simply forgot to turn off an ec2 instance another dreaded catastrophic thing a developer doesn't want to hear is that a production database has been dropped accidentally along with all of your company's data that was worth billions of dollars you just made the simple mistake of dropping prod instead of Dev when something like this happens it's absolutely terrifying but hopefully you have backups that are able to restore it back to its original state if not now would be a good time to start looking for a new job dropping a database is incredibly easy and can be accomplished with a single line of code you can use this knowledge to fight back against the system as this person did here by weaponizing SQL injection against speed cameras dropping a database is bad but at least it's over quickly many developers suffer a worse fate like this guy who got a message from his boss assigning him to a legacy angularjs version 1 code base that needs to be migrated to angular 14. sadly the previous developer died of old age and was the only one who had any idea how anything in this code base worked he knew exactly how to keep his job by creating an overly complex code base without any comments or documentation and now it's your turn to update it [ __ ] my life this job will take more skill and Ingenuity than building a nuclear submarine and when you finally finish the job in a few years no one will even notice or care because by that time it'll be time to migrate your legacy code base into the hot new JavaScript framework of 2025. speaking of which something a web developer never wants to hear is that a new better JavaScript framework has been invented when you learn a JavaScript framework you join a tribe and that means everything outside that tribe is dangerous and terrible now normally you can create an echo chamber to convince yourself that your chosen framework is absolutely 100 the best in every use case however at some point you may be convinced that a better framework does in fact exist when that day comes you'll need to turn your back on your tribe and lose many friends in the process and it's not exactly easy to make new friends when you're a software engineer can't sit here but one of the most annoying things that can happen to you is when a non-technical person like a client or marketing expert asks you to make one small change to an already finished product like let's just move this nav bar from the top over to the side here it should be an easy change for you to make you don't not want to look like a 10x developer so you go ahead and do it but it takes like 20 hours and modifications and 800 different HTML and CSS files then as soon as you commit your work that same person will come back and say you know what I think I liked it better the first way let's go ahead and change it back it's no secret that the most important skill of a software engineer is being able to Google things effectively that means one of the worst things that can happen to you is running into a problem that nobody else has already solved for you it's painful enough when zero results come back on Google with your error message but an even worse thing can happen you might search an error and get a single result on an obscure Forum from 10 years ago and find some dude going through the exact same problem as you as you scroll down hoping for a well-documented and detailed solution you find that all he posted was fixed all good now and now you have to figure out the problem all by yourself being the Chad that you are you get to work and as soon as you're about to solve the problem you get a notification that it's time for your daily stand-up meeting thanks for watching and I will see you in the next one

Channel: Fireship

Views: 1,745,731

Keywords: webdev, app development, lesson, tutorial

Id: OoQLoKHhohg

Length: 5min 16sec (316 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 10 2022