6 Qualities to Look for in a Husband | David Marvin

foreign [Music] what's up everybody in the room everybody tuning in online all of our porch live locations I'm gonna list those out porch live Fort Worth North Houston Austin Texas Midland Texas Scottsdale Arizona Boise Idaho Tulsa Oklahoma Cincinnati Ohio Des Moines Iowa Indianapolis Indiana greater Lafayette Indiana we are not sure what that was but we are wrapping up this series his and hers and finishing up a conversation about dating on the topic of dating this week marks an interesting week for myself and my wife because 10 years ago this week we got married here's it yeah thank you thank you here's a picture of our wedding uh JP actually did the wedding it was 10 years ago fun fact it was the first ever Shannon Shane porch Christmas concert so they like popped over there Shane took his hat off sang a song came back over it was a blast we got married and so to celebrate for 10 years you got to go big so I did what any person would do I booked a 10-year anniversary trip through Costco okay yes they don't just sell paper towels you can also go to Paris and Rome now when I booked this trip true story I didn't know quite to expect I I was basically the guinea pig of this whole operation because I didn't know anyone who had ever done Costco Travel before you walked by it if you've ever gone to Costco it's right there in these little pamphlets and I was like man interesting and I'm kind of a sucker for a deal and I typed in the price and it was shocking it was like certainly this is a down payment or something this is not the entire thing and it was so I didn't know if this was going to be amazing or you get what you pay for and I'm gonna have the I'm the guy that's telling the story for the rest of his life so on our 10 year anniversary get this one I booked a Costco trip and just living with that but it was amazing and we went for the last week or a week ago we went for seven days to Paris and Rome and I'd never been there before and so I just went full sin in research mode to make sure we maximized our time I'm reading books on the city of Rome they've got podcasts out there that you can download and listen to and I just went full send to make sure that I took advantage of this one shot we had potentially maybe ever to see some of the most incredible cities on Earth now what does that have to do with what we're talking about tonight well we're in a series on dating and love and relationships and our hope in heart is to as best we can give you as much information from God's word and truth and wisdom to help you succeed and have one amazing shot at this thing called marriage which is the point and really what dating is meant to lead you and be a path towards and to last week we opened up a conversation about the ladies and men who to date and what she should look like and ladies who to strive to be and what God's word has to say and tonight we're going to talk about the his in his and hers specifically to the ladies in the room any ladies in the room tonight who you should look for as it relates to a potential spouse that this is the character and characteristics that you should make required for any guy who is going to date you and what I hope to do in the next 30 minutes is not to beat down on the guys at all but rather to paint a picture men for who to strive to be who God calls us and I believe in you you have got it through God's spirit living with God's people you can be God's man and I want to paint that picture and look at a passage in first Timothy chapter three so if you have a Bible you can flip over to First Timothy chapter three here's what we know about first Timothy it was written to Timothy by the Apostle Paul and Paul writes and he gives instructions on what the leaders of a church should look like now what does that have to do with dating and love well the Bible says that God calls the church his bride in other words when God says here's the type of men I want to leave my bride the church he gives us really a blueprint for what men in general We should strive for in other words if this is the type of man that God says is qualified to lead his bride it's also the type of man that can lead you as a bride or in being and pursuing allows you to be someone worthy of leading a bride not the church bride but a wife so we're going to look at six characteristics from this passage I'm going to read all the way through it and then pull out six different things to strive for to look at what God calls ladies you to look for in a husband and us as men to pursue and prioritize becoming so first Timothy chapter 3 verse 1 says this here is a trustworthy saying whoever aspires to be an overseer or it may say Elder it's the same word there it's just a leader within the church that's all that that means desires and Noble tasks that's a good thing now the overseer or the leader of my bride the church must be above reproach he's faithful to his wife he's temperate self-controlled he's respectable he's hospitable or welcoming and warm he's able to teach he knows God's word and he's able to teach it he's not given to drunkenness not violent but gentle not quarrelsome not a lover of money he must manage his own family well as in he leads his family well and see that his children obey him and he must do so in a manner worthy of full of respect if anyone does not know how to manage his own house or his own family how can he take care of God's Church he must not be a recent convert or he may become conceited or arrogant and fall into the same judgment as the devil he must have a good reputation with Outsiders that he's a reputation that is positive even among non-believers so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap that there's a lot of characteristics and really what I want to do is succinctly put them into six different criteria that men whatever and wherever you are at in your journey today you can start pursuing and becoming and so we're going to look at six different things directly from this text as it relates to the type of husband to look for in other words if you're dating somebody and they don't have these characteristics that should be concerning and the type of person that you should allow to date and have a relationship with you if your lady should have these characteristics we're going to talk through these six so the first one that you should examine all six of them are things that hey it's you're in the dating time this is this is the process of evaluating is this a person I want to continue on this path uh called dating towards marriage and I need to examine these six things the first thing that you need to examine is his commitments his commitments every guy in the room is committed to a lot of different things some of them committed to Cowboys Dallas Cowboys some are committed to their job some are committed to you know Call of Duty some are committed to a myriad of different things but specifically evaluate his commitments to the local church and his commitment to the Covenant of marriage and I'm going to unpack both of those but the first one is he committed to a local church the scriptures command that you and I are to be connected to a body a local church not at the porch the porch is not a church it's a Ministry within Watermark which is our church my church that you are to be connected to a local church in order so they can control you no because it's one of God's ways of caring and protecting and caring for you are they committed in listening to God's word saying man I'm going to be connected to a local church I'm going to live in community with other guys I'm going to walk openly and honestly about where I'm struggling where I could use prayer with other guys in Hebrews chapter 13 verse 17 it describes teaching and the role that really Elders which Watermark as Elders Church leadership there to play in caring for the people that God has a part of their Church community it says this have confidence in your leaders submit listen to their Authority because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account do this so their work will be a joy and not a burden for that would be of no benefit to you the Bible just said hey that at the end of life at the end when Jesus returns in eternity elders and leaders within a local church are going to give an account for the people that made up their local church are you connected to a local church it's there that you're going to receive care accountability encouragement one of the greatest sources of blessing to my life to my wife to our world or my world is my community group that we've been with eight years that we meet every single week sometimes multiple times a week they know where I need prayer they know where I need to improve or do better or love my wife better they know that struggles and temptations that I face and they provide care and are a source of God's provision if you're dating somebody and for whatever reason and there's gonna be a lot of excuses they're going to say oh you know I'd listen to a lot of the podcasts and I really I like to stream Church from home and I like to check out a different a number of different churches like if I was to talk to you down front you have a reason why you're not connected to the church it's just not a good one or a Biblical one and God says you and I are to be connected to a local body as a source of receiving care encouragement and support and quite frankly it allows other people to know you like really know you like man if you came down front and you asked me to pray for you I'd love to pray for you but I don't know you I don't know the ins and outs of your life but here in at a local church you can get known and cared for and allow other people to see into your life and see quite frankly blind spots you have you don't even realize you have them it's like this when I was 22 for the first time when I came on slap a watermark I'd never had uh Dental Care before so I never went to the dentist 22 years growing up I know it's shocking and I go to the dentist and it was the first time I was like this is cool I get to go to the dentist sit back in this comfortable chair and you know experience the whole whole nine yards and she comes in does X-rays and I'm like that's cool they're doing x-rays my mom just for whatever reason she was like your teeth are straight get back in the game so that's how we live and I get the x-rays and he comes out and says man your teeth are straight that's great um you have 14 cavities I know it was like what and if you get to ask questions like how much soda are you drinking you know how often are you brushing flossing are you sleeping with candy in your mouth uh what is causing this and he was able to see a area of my life that due to just habits or not proper dental hygiene was creating problems in decay and in a very similar way it's inside of the church that not we open up you know your mouth for a dental procedure you open up your life and you allow people to speak into and to see the dysfunctional behavior in dating that you have and speak to it from God's word not to you know shame you or hurt you but to care for you help you that we benefit from others in our life as God's protection and provision of care the second thing he needs to make sure and I'm gonna move quicker through the rest of these is that he is committed to the Covenant of marriage this is really important okay if you miss everything else that I say and you hold on to this it'll be worth your time marriage is not a contract what's a contract you have a contract with 18c or Spectrum contract is you give me certain services and as long as you maintain that I give you a certain fee it's not a contract that's not what marriage is it's not a commitment it's not simply a commitment in other words it's not just you know what I'm committed to this marriage biblically for Christians is a covenant what's a covenant a covenant is a relationship that two people voluntarily enter into that only ends in death is the person you're dating of a mindset that hey marriage is not something that we just try and if it doesn't work you know we'll figure something out no marriage is a covenant and when we stand before one another and make crazy promises you know that's what they do at a wedding I mean promises that are extraordinary hey I am with you for better words sickness and health richer or poor whatever comes in front of us until death do us part are they committed to the Covenant of marriage how do you know ready you ask them what do you think about marriage what do you believe about it and if they say you know as long as the person stays in a certain Fitness level and does everything that I want then I'm married you run for the hills and you go red flag red flag red flag because they don't understand what marriage is marriage is a lifelong Covenant every couple that I've ever been marriage counseling with or done their wedding will do two on two counseling and I'll ask the same question is there any situation in which you would divorce Kyle you would leave Lisa they always say the same thing oh no no okay if Lisa ends up sleeping with your cousin and runs off to the Himalayas you're still in you're chasing you're pursuing you're prioritizing caring for oh well I mean if she sleeps with my cousin and goes to Himalayas that's a whole different thing okay great I'm gonna write that one down okay we're gonna put these in the vows till death do us part or till you sleep with my cousin and you run off to the Himalayas I mean that's the truth Grandma's not gonna like it on the second row but that's the truth and so let's be honest is the person you're dating committed to the Covenant marriage Jesus in Matthew 19 we don't have time to look at all he says something and he teaches on marriage and he says it was never meant to be something that could break it's a lifelong commitment and it was so breathtaking to the disciples they said if that's the case it may be better to not get married and Jesus doesn't say oh no no no no marriage is amazing oh yes it's amazing he says everyone who can accept this should accept this teaching Scott's Design This lifelong Covenant together is he committed to the Covenant of marriage number two you want to examine his humility his humility what is humility humility is not thinking less of yourself as though he's always putting himself down or he has low self-esteem that's not humility that can actually be Pride because it's still focused on self it's not thinking less of yourself it's thinking about yourself less that he's constantly focused and concern about other people around him is his life marked with humility First Peter chapter five says everyone should clothe themself like you daily get up and as my friend says I want to wear humility as I walk into whatever meetings whatever is in front of me today what does humility look like it looks like I'm going to ask for forgiveness I'm going to own my part I'm going to move in their Direction that when I'm wrong I want to say I was wrong I want to have a teachable spirit and not assume that I can't learn the scripture says in this text it says that he must not be a recent convert and he's talking about leaders in the church because the danger of being conceited or arrogant and falling under the same judgment as the devil the devil we know in Scripture is the ruler of evil and darkness inside of this world but at one point he was an angel the scriptures say that he was cast out from Heaven why well when he was an angel he didn't want to worship God he wanted to be worshiped as God pride is the person that you are dating does humility mark their life perhaps if the whole list this is one of the more important ones because without humility you won't get connected to a church without humility you're not going to be willing to listen to other people without humility you're not going to be willing to say you know I think I was wrong this humility mark their life what's interesting ladies and let me just pick a little bit on ladies there is something that consistently women will find themselves attracted to The Arrogant cocky jerk and I don't know what it is and it's puzzling and it you know you go back through all the way back to high school in the quarterback that just was all arrogance and there's something that ladies can find attractive that quality will not be something you find attractive in marriage it'll be something that drives a wedge in your relationship on the flip side humility is something that always looks good on everybody and will always look good in other words humility it's the little black dress it's the thing you go in looks good every single time in fact man let me just say this to you if you know you got a face made for radio you can be more attractive today some of you guys are just getting that right now you will be more attractive today if you are humble you can man if you will learn and practice humility overnight you are immediately because humility looks good on everybody you need to examine their humility is their life marked with humility number three examine the reputation if humility is one of the most important their reputation candidly ladies is one of the ones that often is most overlooked or neglected or excused away you need to examine his reputation the scripture says In this passage we read he must have a good reputation with Outsiders not even just within the church he's well thought of and respected even with Outsiders when he's at work when he's around non-believing family members they speak well of him what is the reputation of the guy or girl but in this case the guy that you're dating the good news is no matter what your reputation if you blow in every single one in this list God isn't done with you he can still write an amazing story but what is the reputation is he known for being flaky is he known for not keeping his word when he says he's going to do something or is he known for being generous and kind he's known as the guy who shows up to serve and help when somebody needs to move he's known as the guy who constantly is giving Friends rides to the airport he's known as the guy that is always looking out for family members and needs that they have what is his reputation for good or For Worse is he a known commodity one of the ways that you can know his reputation is by being in an environment where he's known this goes back to the first point of being connected to a local church that he's known by people in his life and he's not a perfect guy by any means but people know him and his reputation is one that is good with Believers and non-believers what is the reputation he has this is candidly white online dating is so dangerous and it's the number one way that people meet today but the reason it can be dangerous is anybody can look good over a cup of coffee and in their Instagram profile or their online dating or their hinge or their Bumble or whatever profile but you don't actually know them versus if they're connected and have other believers and they have Roots inside of a church and a reputation that goes before them whenever we were in Europe I would go on to Trip Advisor and I would evaluate everything that anything that we were going to do or any place we were going to stay man I wanted to go look at The Good the Bad and the Ugly of every place so I just went again Full Tilt I'm in there reading the reviews I want to know the recent bad ones not just all the glowing ones that somebody in the host sells Hotel staff wrote themselves I want to know like the crazy Karen Josiah mentioned what is she saying I want to know the good the bad the ugly everything about it so I go in with eyes wide open in the process of dating it is evaluating it is them interviewing for the position of husband interviewing for the position of your children's father you cannot be too careful and take serious or take too seriously knowing who they are and the person that you're dating them what is their reputation you need to examine what are they known for the people in their life if they have a reputation just like in that scenario where you go on TripAdvisor and you see oh man this hotel there's a number of different bad reviews you know the good thing about that scenario with that hotel you can get new management you can make decisions and all of a sudden operate in a different way and those reviews begin to change you can begin to see oh man they really started to operate things differently the same thing is true in life no matter what your reputation you may have a string of bad relationship after relationship after relationship and ways that you blew it man God isn't done with you and if you surrender to him and walk with him he can begin to rewrite that story I believe in you you can do it but you have got to decide I'm going to trust God's way what is his reputation all right number four examine does he have initiative does he take initiative he initiates he has drive he is not constantly or just simply spending every waking moment playing fortnite he has initiative specifically in the context of leading and leading in a dating way the scripture says In this passage it says he must be able to manage his own family well it's talking about leadership in the home you're looking for somebody who can lead your family and initiate and be a part of initiating and leading and caring for your future home does he have initiative biblically leadership is synonymous with serving Jesus would say that in Matthew excuse me Mark chapter 10. biblical leadership is Chief servant and having initiative is one of the ways men that you can serve her what do I mean it looks like this what does it look like to show initiative it means that you initiate the date it means you go up to her and this is going to be scary because ladies you don't realize it you're scary you got all the earrings and nails and all this stuff and guys are they look tough on the outside but there's a little part which is it's just intimidating and you're going to go up despite that intimidation you know what you're going to do men you're going to flex the courage muscle and you're going to go up to her and you're going to say hey Karen um I would it's like a third Karen reference tonight I apologize uh whatever your name is I would like to take you on a date this Saturday to the Mavericks game or I got all the Mavs fans good I would like to take you out to dinner this weekend to go to the Perot Museum I would like to take you out for coffee this Sunday afternoon you you very specific I would like to take you on a date and then you fill in the blank showing that you have prepared you have a plan you show an initiative you're giving Clarity on exactly the ask we talked about it a few weeks ago you don't just go up and say Hey you know uh got anything going Saturday or you want to chill you say I'd like to take you on a date and here's what I'd like to do then you give her a chance to respond and if she doesn't have a response in that moment you say it's okay you can take time and let me know I'd like to take you out on a date and get to know you better you use your words and you initiate now I answered this a couple weeks ago but let me come back to it ladies can ladies ask guys on a date sure I mean it depends what you mean like like if you ask him out does that mean you're going to hell no that's not the Bible is it best well God said that man is to be the chief leader in sacrificer for his family and in his home and already it's the first opportunity to initiate that he's not even doing so it doesn't communicate his leadership the other thing that you're going to do and this Show's initiative is all throughout the dating process you took her on a date and then you're going to continue to bring Clarity so if you don't want to go on a second date you don't just say I'd like to I hope to see you again sometime because that's not true you tell the truth if you do want to go on a second date you say I've really enjoyed this first date I'd love to take you on a second date you never leave her wondering here's the truth ladies they Wonder they're wondering guys guys we just fixate on one thing we're not even thinking about anything for like the entire day but ladies there it's always going up there and they're wondering and you don't want to leave her wondering and so you never want her to go I don't know where we what's going on with us and is he interested or he's kind of giving me just confusing Vibes none of that happens you drive Clarity because you're a man who's going to step up and show initiative and communicate I would like you to be my girlfriend when that moment comes you're driving Clarity into the relationship if you're not sure the relationship should go forward you communicate that with her and you all along the way are show an initiative in how you lead and bring Clarity to the relationship we've said before leaders remove confusion you're going to remove any confusion because we don't play games games are for kids you're a follower of Jesus and a Godly pursuing being a Godly Man and you're going to lead her in that way this also means leading her in purity you're going to honor God by prioritizing maintaining sexual boundaries sexy I'm going to honor you and honor God by Leading you in Purity now let me answer this question because there's a lot of confusion around like hey women do you submit to the guy that you're dating ready no scripture says that wives submit to a husband as husbands submit to the Lord so until he puts a ring on it and until he is in the position of hey I because the scripture also says guys you're called to die daily for your wife until he's in that position you're not in the position of submitting anything and his role is to be the chief servant and how he leads and cares and initiates with you in this time and in the marriage all right number five examine his self-control the passage we read talks about at least three areas but several areas that he as a leader of a bride should exhibit self-control and he brings up three areas it says he's faithful to his wife he's self-controlled he's not given the drunkenness he's not violent but gentle so here's three areas to evaluate alcohol anger and adultery alcohol anger and adultery if he is getting drunk in front of you that's a red flag and maybe the reason you don't see it that way is because you're getting drunk in front of him and it's just kind of part of your relationship that is a reflection of red flags in both directions does he exercise self-control as it relates to anger like if he is getting in fights at the bar over the latest you know Cowboys game that's a big red flag you are so valuable God would die on a cross for you staying in a relationship with somebody who is belligerent and acting out in his anger it's not worth it your time and that sounds not gracious my point is to not be gracious it's you are deciding you can extend him Grace and forgiveness but not your hand in marriage because you're evaluating is this this spouse and father and husband that I want to commit my life to and he brings up adultery that he's faithful to his wife like people will write in and ask or ask the question hey my boyfriend cheated on me what should I do let me give the answer ready you break up with him you break up with him he has shown that he's not in a healthy place and you can pray for him and hope that he gets to a place where he's not cheating on anybody with anybody but you don't date him and you don't move towards marriage with them if he is looking at porn consistently you should break the relationship and take time to get healthy and that's man I pornography is a big part of my story for years and the opportunities to get healthy they're all around here going to region signing up for Covenant eyes and getting a place on your phone to struggle well so that you're not training yourself for variety which is what pornography does and you're exhibiting self-control if he's pushing and pressuring you to go physically farther than God's word says that's a red flag is he exhibiting and exercising self-control because if he's not right now and you're dating what makes you think he will when you're married if he's not right now saying hey I have the ability to not sleep with someone who's not my wife what's going to magically turn that ability off whenever you guys get married then he's going to exercise self-control in other words right now you're evaluating the pattern of their life which is a far more in the path that their life is on it's a far greater indicator than a promise that they're going to make people can make promises all the time what's much more powerful is the path that their life is on in other words right now World Cup's going on USA Today did anyone not see anyone know the score I'm about to ruin it so close your ears okay ready USA Today beats Iran takes him down 1-0 on the paths of victory now Iran despite having lost they could say hey no but we promise we are going to win the World Cup what is a much more important variable or factor or determining Factor if that's going to happen is not the promise they make it is the path they are on and in the same way he can sit there and he can make promises about how we'll be and what he'll be and what it'll be like all day long the promise is not nearly as powerful as the path that his life is on is the path of his life one that is moving in the direction that Christ says Godly men should be moving and is he exercising self-control all right number six his trust in God evaluate his trust in God that he really believes God's word when it comes to living his life and how he thinks about money how he sees the future how he thinks about children in the home how he understands marriage in general is all of that informed by God's word or his opinions like does he actually I mean it does he trust God's word I'm going to live and look to God's word for direction it says he has to be able to teach it so that he can teach children and teach God's word which means he needs to know God's word and live by God's word which means he trusts God's word examine his trust in God that he trusts God in Titus Chapter one it's a very similar passage covers Elders as well it says leaders of God's bride must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it's been taught so he can encourage others with sound Doctrine and refute those who oppose it that when it comes to life he's constantly going to God's word and saying man hey this is how this is how I naturally think about it but this is really what God's word says about X topic this is how I naturally think about love sex dating but this is what God's word says this is how I think about my job and my boss but this is what God's word says he's constantly looking to it for Direction when we were in Paris we would take the metro which is the Subways basically of Paris and we were on such a tight schedule like I said because I packed everything in there that I would carry around with me this map of the metro station because I always wanted to make sure we got on the right line to go to the right destination in other words I didn't just you know pull out the map and go eeny meeny miny mo pick a talk about it so this one and then we go to wherever it ended up I didn't go off of my own perspective and I mean I just like the color of that Railway I would look at the map because if I want to end up at the right destination I have to make sure that I get on the thing that is moving in the right direction I follow the directions does he look to God's word as his guide source of Direction or does he look to the opinions of friends and the world around him or does he trust God's word in other words you're looking for someone who's committed to the church who's marked by humility whose reputation is one that brings honor to God and to himself has initiative has self-control and trusts God's word you're looking for someone who's in relationship with Christ who is walking with Christ you're not going to find a perfect husband there is no perfect husband there's no perfect man there is only one who's ever lived Jesus but the closer in relationship that he is to Christ and the more intimately that he walks with him the more that he will exhibit all of those characteristics and you're looking for somebody who is in relationship walking daily with Christ to be the leader of God's bride God says that's what it takes and to be the leader of you as a bride these are the things to look for and quite frankly this is not a message if going guys hey pull your bootstraps up and try a lot harder this is a message of walking Independence on Christ that's the only way that anything that looks like Christ begins to show up in any of our Lives is by walking in dependence on you Jesus I need your help to be the husband that I want to be to keep my commitments the way that I want to to be marked in humility none of that comes from me just like none of it comes from you it comes from walking Independence on Christ and if you've never had a moment where you trusted in Jesus as your savior you don't have a relationship with Christ you don't have eternal life to be quite frankly and your moment tonight is not to try to keep commitments and get plugged into insurance it's to accept Jesus as your savior the savior of the world who died for your sin that's what it means to be a Christian you know that right the message of Christianity is not try harder and let's all get a motivational speech and you go out there and you're going to do great this week the message of Christianity is there are no good people it's not good people in heaven bad people in hell it is Forgiven people who go to heaven only way you and I can be forgiven is by trusting Jesus as your savior the payment for your sin that he died in your place and he rose again showing the payment was more than enough check cleared all went through everything you've ever done paid for and that allows you a relationship with Christ and that's how God begins to bring about these qualities and characteristics no matter where you are if you look at all of these and you're like I've blown it on each one of those God is not done with you but you've got to trust him surrender to him say I'm going to walk with you it's the ladies in the room who have Faithfully been following Jesus who have prioritized God's word pursued purity not settled and lowered your standards I want you to hear from me I am so proud of you to The Godly men in the room who have walked with Jesus who are striving imperfectly like we all are to be God's man I am so proud of you and if you're in a place where ladies you're just going man I've done those things but it's just guys that are not asking me out I have a four-year-old daughter and for her to grow up and have all the Beauty and the clothes and the car and the looks and everything the world says but not have what you have as a Godly woman who says I trust God and I'm not going to settle for what other people in the world around me are settling for I'm not going to lower my standards because I know my worth I know my value I know whose Identity or whose image I'm made in I'm going to trust God I am so proud of you and if my daughter grows up to be like you I will be so proud keep going it's worth it and Men no matter where you're at God isn't done with you and you have a chance and I believe in you those of you who know Jesus and you're walking with him just like me and perfectly with other guys in your life keep going it's worth it and in time you'll see that relationship prioritized with Jesus it was worth it foreign [Music] father thank you just for the ways you come alongside all of us despite our imperfections our need for you and thank you that you Rush In to love us and help us I pray for the guys in the room who are seeking to follow you and honor you that you would continue to deepen their love for you their faith in you their trust in you I pray for the ladies in the room seeking to do the same you would strengthen their resolve and they would live and walk deeply in relationship with you thank you that you loved us so much that you would give your life for us to have a relationship in this life with you and for all of eternity for anyone who tonight has never accepted believed or received that with that change and they step into the most important relationship they'll ever have which is with you we worship you now in Psalm amen let's take a seat real quick oh man thanks dude I think I'm good actually where in 2010 I uh get asked by somebody named Jonathan pakuda to come teach at the porch and it was a very different day it was like there was 375 people and uh it was amazing and since then I've had the chance of seeing God just show up in unbelievable ways and one of the greatest honors next to being Cali's husband and Monroe and bear and Cruz dad has been having just a front row seat to see what God has done week after week it's been amazing and what he's done all over the country and the privilege of getting invited into dorm rooms and apartments where people are listening or on different walks and gyms where people are exercising and just the ways God is been writing Amazing Stories and people come down like the porch change my life the porch never changed any life Jesus changed your life and it has been so incredible see him write these stories and I'll never understand why he would give that privilege for me to get to see and my wife who's actually here tonight and I have for the last 12 months prayed and wrestled and felt like God is leading us to transition to something different and we don't know what that is and we're not disappearing we love this church but over the last 12 months it is continued for him to put on our heart leading to do something different and the timing doesn't make sense and I cannot say enough amazing things I want to be very very clear I love this church I have received more from watermark in 13 years than I will ever or could ever repay I love our leadership they have discipled me they've taught me God's word how to think so many of the things that even was shared here I will spend the rest of my life sharing with other people things that I was just poured into and shared by the leadership and the elders here we love this place and have loved serving and seeing God at work and we cannot deny we also feel like God's stirring and leading and that is scary because we don't know what's next and we don't know what that is we just felt like he was saying I need you to trust me I want you to trust me or inviting us to trust him oh I love this team my team is the best team at Watermark I'm biased but I think we have the best team the ports team it's incredible and God is I believe going to continue to write Amazing Stories the best brightest days of the ministry are in front and I want to do anything and everything and come back at any point in any time to help and to serve and to support in any way that I can but we feel like this is the step that God's leading us to and where we're trying to live out and Trust God's word and Trust God's Will and Trust God's way and so we'd invite you to pray for that and know that we love this place it was one of the harder decisions that I've ever had to make and yeah we felt like it was God's leading and we love you I love and I'm so honored and humbled to have gotten to play a small role in the ways that God's at work and so many of your stories and um thank you I'd love to invite our elders or a couple of our elders and some of my team just up here along with my wife just for prayer and uh and these are the men that I mentioned who I love deeply who have impacted my life greatly and have um for years been one of God's greatest amazing gifts in fact I'll say this last thing when I was at DTS I had to write a dissertation for my uh like final paper when I was in seminary and I said it was about your church like what's your favorite thing and I I wrote um our elders and uh we we should love this place man and so can I jump in yeah please all right hey my name's Kyle Thompson and uh I I've had the joy of serving as an elder here at watermark for over 18 years and uh 13 years ago I was hanging out met a young guy who was in seminary just come on staff and you know those times when you meet someone and even though I'm 30 years older than David there was a real connection and we developed a friendship and that friendship is only grown over the last decade my wife and I uh when when David and Kelly got married over 10 years ago we got to lead their newly married community group so we got to spend a lot of time together in those early years and David and I have continued to spend time together over the years and a couple of things that I want to say you know David is is one of the most gifted teachers that we've had on staff here at Watermark and one of the things that we want to do first I I just want to I want to publicly thank David for his investment here for his ministry here and just the ways that he has allowed God to use him to impact really thousands of lives and I'm one of them but I just want to publicly have us thank him for the ways that he surrendered and allowed God to use him here so thank you thank you and you know the y'all can y'all can be seated the second thing um and and this is so easy to miss but I I want to affirm what you heard David say you know one of one of the one of the hardest things to do is when we're in a place where uh we feel like we're thriving and God's using us and we're comfortable and we kind of you know you're in the the pattern you know the routine is to uh to surrender and to have silence and Solitude and to hear the voice of the spirit when he's prodding us to move and as you heard David say that that typically doesn't happen you know in a dream or in an instant that's something uh that happens over days and weeks and months and you you heard him say that he and Cali have wrestled with this uh for close to a year I've had the the privilege of getting to be a part of that process in time that that David and I have spent together talking and praying and and just uh being a sounding board just you know in in affirming that hey this this may be what God's doing as much as uh we love having you here and uh and so I I just you know to step out on faith like that especially when you don't know what's next that's a scary thing but that's our Bible I mean you see that you saw in Abraham you see it all through scripture and so as David said man you you guys just continue to pray for them and uh and it's going to be great I love that uh we're going to continue to have shared Ministry together with wherever David and Cali end up uh we've got platforms here that we host and so I'm I'm excited how you know just the ways that we as Watermark are going to continue to to partner in shared Ministry with and we don't know exactly what that looks like but uh what we want to do the most important thing we can do and we want to continue to do is I want to invite Cali up here because this is a journey for David and Cali this is not David and then uh Blake Holmes who's our lead pastor and my fellow Elder we lead together here I want Blake to come up and then Josiah I'd love for you and Sam to come up also and uh we're gonna we're gonna I'm gonna lead us in in uh and just praying for them you know doing what we said we can talk all day but uh God does things supernaturally just as we humble ourselves before him and so father I do thank you um for David and Cali I thank you for uh again that just the ways that you've used them to love people to disciple people to teach um just thank you for the ways that they honor You by honoring your word by following you by imitating what Christ would have them do so that they are worthy of imitation and father I do pray that you would overwhelm them with your grace and your love and your peace the peace that you give not as the world gives and in a way that they can just rest and not operate under a timetable other than what your timetable is you tell us in your word that you make our path clear that in your presence is fullness of joy in your right hand are Pleasures forever and I thank you that that's a promise and so just as you guide and direct them that uh that you would just again allow them to rest in that peace Father I do pray that you direct conversations that you'd even you know use tonight as part of that process we know that there's so many things that you're doing that we don't see and yet sometimes we get to see the lovers that you're you're pulling and get a glimpse of what that is and so just thank you for the journey that they're on which is rooted and traced in in trust and faith in you which is what this life is all about and so I just pray that you would make that clear we look forward to again how we're going to get to uh to be on stages together and just continuing to follow you as we lock arms in ministry as we love your people and so just thank you for the sweetness of relationship the way you created us for a relationship with each other the way we get to experience just the intimacy of that and above all the way we get to experience the enemy minimacy of relationship with you through Jesus amen Blake I might let you wrap it all right well um again I just my name is Blake Holmes and I just want to publicly thank David as well for serving here Faithfully for 13 years I've been on staff for 20 years so Dave and I have had many years serving together we've encourage each other we sought the Lord in prayer together we've admonished one another and we certainly laughed with each other and we've laughed and I got just one story I've got to tell on David I won't tell the milk story David I won't share that who believed he could drink a gallon of milk in less than an hour and I do remember that staff retreat was that your first staff retreat yeah and then the other staff Retreat do you remember the raft that you tried to build to get us from one side of the pool to the other yeah he went to a m and his raft was about that uh about that deep and it certainly took on water it sunk the first SEC few seconds it got in there I say a lot to goes Hey listen you know David is is a teacher and a communicator and I know him as a friend as a brother in Christ and it really has been an honor and a joy just to walk with him and I know that uh this year I've been a part of that process as well that he's he's felt that stirring of hey what's what's next for me and um and so I know every time there's a transition like this um right there's it raises questions and and for you there's candidly selfishly there's a part of the you're probably sitting there going okay what does this mean for the porch right and you could be sad or you could be mad or it could be confused by all that and I get that I totally get that I've having served here for 20 years I've had really good friends I've served beside he mentioned JP's or beside JP for years I was sad when JP transitioned and I can give many other names um but I certainly haven't lost touch with those guys I love them in fact on Friday I'm spending much of my day with with JP on Friday and I intend to spend time and laugh and continue to share stories with dmarv in the future as well but it's just to encourage you I want to invite you to to do more than just attend the porch on Tuesday nights I want to invite you to be a part of the body of Christ at watermark um to join us to be a part of the family that David spoke of it's God's provision for you he doesn't intend for you to live your life with him is just a Jesus and me mindset that calls you into a family of God where you are loved cared for supported and fully known and so that's the first thing and then as far as the porch on Tuesday nights and the spring you guys have heard Timothy atique ta some of you from a m and Breakaway he's going to kick off a series for us in the spring I know you're going to be blessed by so January 24th uh put that on your calendar and I hope to see you then okay um hey one song that the church is historically sung for Generations is the doxology and and I know uh staff come and go there's gonna be a time where I'm going to leave but there's three things that never change right and that's the word of God the character of God and the mission of God those things never change and so we're gonna stand and we're going to sing with the church has sung for Generations reminding ourselves of the character of God and his goodness so let's stay in let's do that we'll close together

Channel: The Porch

Views: 95,873

Keywords: the, porch, dallas, watermark, community, church, christian, christianity, ministry, movement, fort, worth, faith, sermon, dating, truth, bible, advice, biblical, counsel, jonathan pokluda, the porch, watermark community church, young adults, fort worth, david marvin, todd wagner, the bible, relationship, christian dating, love, romance, marriage, husband, wife, marriage counseling, marriage advice, relationship goals

Id: HQPQoe3ccnI

Length: 58min 8sec (3488 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 30 2022