- (sneezes) Uh. (beep) Today we're gonna be
talking about a subject near and dear to my heart. That subject is fifty shades. (beep) (beep) (beep) This week, we're going to
be talking about books. Now, I wanted to give you a
list of my recommendations and since it's the new
year and we always say, new year, new you, I wanted to come up with
a theme around that. This list will not only serve as a foundation for you to
understand yourself better, but also those around you. Ever since medical school, I've realized I'm a
better auditory learner. I can be multi-tasking and still take in all the points that I'm listening to. In fact, I told you this before, I used to screen all of
my lectures multiple times instead of sitting and reading the notes. Now my go to way to get these audiobooks is through Audible. In fact, Audible's the
sponsor to this video and I'll be giving you
guys a 30-day free trial if you stay tuned to
the end of this video. All right, let's jump right into it. I'm going to be talking about five books that I think will make you
a better all around you. "What Every Body is
Saying" by Joe Navarro. Now, I love the catchy title in this book. "What Every Body is Saying." - Oh, okay, I see what you did there. - This is a book covering
human body language and I think this is very important because most of human communication
is actually non-verbal. Joe Navarro is actually an ex-FBI agent and he talks about all these unique tips that you can use to read
people from across the room or even someone you're interacting with. Even the smallest body parts, eyelids, cheeks, fingers. - The name's Sherlock Holmes. - When I read this book
for the first time, it shocked me. I love people watching. I started understanding what
was going on in each situation without even needing to
hear what they were saying. The entire body gives us a
better picture than just the face and I'll use an example from the book where if you look at two
people having a conversation and you look at the direction of where their feet are pointing, that speaks volumes about how much they're enjoying that conversation. If you see two people
sitting next to each other and one person's feet are
pointing away from that person, they're ready to get out
of that conversation. Joe even goes as far as
to give you simple tips to change your posture to
allow you to express authority, to build trust with somebody else. If you put your hands
completely in your pockets, that's a very passive, submissive pose. Now, if you want to exemplify
a little bit of confidence, all you have to do is take your thumbs out and that just makes your body language speak with more authority. "Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion" by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D. I love reading books on influence and it's not because I want
to manipulate somebody. People often think that influence carries a negative connotation. I think it's more manipulation that carries the connotation. Manipulation by definition is a shrewd or devious way to influence
somebody for your own advantage. If a patient walks into my office, they have high cholesterol,
high blood pressure and they don't exercise, it's my job to influence them
to begin an exercise regimen. It doesn't mean that I'm manipulating them for my own advantage. Now in everyday life, we not
only need to be very good at influencing people at our jobs, whether you're a doctor
influencing your patients, or a teacher influencing your students, we also need to be aware
of those who are trying to influence, or manipulate, us. - It's just a matter of luring him out. - Yehaw! - One of the concepts this
book breaks down very well is something known as
the contrast principle. And it's something that sales
people utilize all the time in order to get you to spend more money. I'm a sales person and you're coming into the store to buy a suit. I will get you committed
to buying this $400 suit and then I'll offer you an $80 sweater, which is a pretty expensive sweater, but it won't look as expensive because you've already spent $400. - Wow, that's messed up. - "The Influential Mind" by Tali Sharot. If you want someone to understand where you're coming from, it's gonna take a lot more
than facts and figures. Oh, I like that. That was a good. Most people are influenced by emotions rather than facts and figures. You can see this right
now on the news cycle. When somebody starts talking
to your primitive brain, they do a much better job at influencing your thoughts and even your actions. When your mind is stressed, it's much more easily influenced. And we see this after
horrible terrorist attacks like September 11th, it takes
one person to start running in order to get hundreds to do the same because in that stressed state, they're more likely to be influenced. I think the real gem in this book is that it teaches you how to communicate with somebody that disagrees with you. The way you do that is you
establish a new concept that doesn't necessarily
disagree with their viewpoint but does agree with yours. Once you find that sort of common ground, it can facilitate that conversation and allow you to exert your influence. If I'm trying to encourage a parent to vaccinate their child and they happen to be anti-vaccine, instead of going
back-and-forth and arguing about the side effects of vaccines, I introduce a new point
where we can both agree that the disease that the
vaccine prevents, like measles, is a bad disease. If the parent agrees with me, we have a much higher
likelihood of seeing eye-to-eye and agreeing on getting a
vaccination for their child. "Public Speaking for
Success" by Dale Carnegie. We all need to improve
how we speak in public. To be an effective communicator, to share your story, to influence people, to be a better person yourself, you need to be able to be
a better public speaker. Dale Carnegie gives you some
really simple steps that anyone can follow in order to be
a better public speaker. One of those steps that I take to heart and use in all of my speeches is the idea of verbalizing
your speech or your talk before even doing it. That way, your brain can
recite the information, get used to saying it. You'll probably stumble and that's okay because you're practicing
but you have to practice. It talks about really great speakers, how they presented their
speeches, what words they used, why certain speeches were
more effective than others and that really goes a long way in order for you to
communicate your ideas. "Flow: The Psychology
of Optimal Experience" by Mihaly (mumbles) (laughs). Even though this book is called "The Psychology of Optimal Experience," it's basically a book about happiness. This is an evolving field of psychology known as positive psychology. And this is one of the first books I've read on the subject and I've become obsessed. In medicine, we always look
at the negative symptoms, we talk about depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, but positive psychology focuses on the positive aspects of life. What is flow? When you are playing basketball, when you are rock climbing, when you are playing an instrument, you're putting in a lot of effort and generally, for human
survival sake at least, when we put in effort it's done so in order to
get something in return whether that's financial
return, sexual return, that feeling you feel when
you're climbing a mountain, playing an instrument, playing basketball, is called flow. It's a very self-fulfilling, authentic happiness that you feel. When people look at my
Instagram or YouTube channels, they always comment on how happy I look and they say that they don't believe that I'm always so happy or that they want to know
how I'm always so happy. I think flow is a great
reason of why I'm happy. Flow explains that in
order to feel happiness, to get that intrinsic joy in life, you constantly need to set
these little achievable and meaningful goals for yourself whether we're talking
about cleaning the house in a certain amount of time, or reading a certain amount
of books in a given year. A great paradox that this book addresses is that we don't spend our free time well. Most people can't wait to leave work. They can't wait to
retire but when they do, they actually become more
unhappy and more anxiety sets in. When you are not activating your mind to reach goals and set
challenges for yourself, like you are every time you're at work, your mind fills that
empty space with anxiety. When you have anxiety, that leads to more
problems, more depression. When you're at work and
you're constantly setting new goals and new obstacles for yourself, you're able to reach those goals and therefore feel that
reward system kicking in. Boom. There you have it. Those are my five titles to help you become an all-around better you. I've listened to all of
these titles using Audible and now you can sign up
for a 30-day free trial and get one of these books for free using www.audible.com/doctormike. That's
A-U-D-I-B-L-E.COM/D-O-C-T-O-R-M-I-K-E or you can even text 500500
the word "doctormike." That's right, D-O-C-T-O-R-M-I-K-E and you'll get your 30-day free trial and you can read one of these bad boys. And as always, stay happy and healthy. Go into www.com/audible/doctormike I'm saying a lot of slashes, I don't know. By downloading your first
audiobook (mumbles). Audiovobook (laughs).
- [Male] Audiovobook? - Go to www.com/ Last try, if it doesn't
work, it doesn't work. But once you've already
spent $400 on a suit, $80 doesn't seem so much, seem like so much. I even listen to audiobooks on the gym. On the gym (laughs) what
does that mean, on the gym? I sit on top of the gym and I read my? (upbeat music)
