Hey! It's me, William, and today we're at Bot battles! [Applause Sound Effect] You're the best! And now, we're at Walmart! It's hot, it's like 80 degrees. And apparently, it's supposed to be 90 degrees today. Pants were a bad choice. Where are the toys? There's gotta be toys here. No, you can't have that. How do they sell this stuff for 25 dollars? This is perfect! We're gonna try to weaponize an RC car and stick it in the arena, in an actual fight, with a team that has enough weight to spare on their robot. But, our weapons... are gonna be pinwheels... with razor blades! What do you think, caretaker? Walmart... not sponsored, okay. But we need pinwheels. Aw, yeah. Dude, that coming towards you? You're gonna die. I need paint! Chelsea: "William, stop." Thanks John! What? What'd you say? Say it again! Say it to my face. She thinks we're embarassing. She's probably right. We're making a battle bot! We're gonna fight in the TV show! BattleBots! With big, big, giant scary robots? Robots, and they fight each other. Yeah, probably. Kids have good taste, though. So we have like a day to make this robot and then we'd have to fight it tomorrow- wait, no. So today, we basically have to make the robot, figure out what team it's gonna be on, how much weight we have... Oh, and also, and then we have to make it. Hey, other Will, can I build my robot here? "Yeah, okay." Nice. [Squeaking desk] Do you want to define a battle bot for me, please? Like at what point is this not a battle bot? Like when does it transition into battle bot? "Uh, that's not a battle bot-" Will: But... Other Will: "Yeah, that's a battle bot."
Will: Okay. Why is there a USB cable on it? Does anybody want to plug this into their computer? Did anything happen? "Wait hold on, hold on, wait wait wait wait-" Will: Alright, that's boring. This only recharges via USB? That's not a battery compartment, it's like a compartment for the charging. Other Will: "What?"
Will: I don't know, there's something embedded on the inside. "So that's the charging port..."
Will: Oh, what's in there? "Is that a battery in there?" Will: 3.2 volts... Wow.
"So is it already charged?" Will: I don't know, we should try it. What do you think? Like a pound? Two pounds? 1.5! Screwdriver! Thank you. [Flatline] Wait a second, what? Moist Pony is gonna go in the top, which means we're gonna have to cut this down. How tall do you think Moist Pony should be? Like right on it? This is gonna be a brutal pony murder. We're cutting his stomach- It's like a piece of PVC! Wow. Do you want it? It's your problem now. Weapons activate! [Sparkly noises] [Galloping noises] We're having some trouble deciding like where our weapons and self-righting are gonna go, I think we can consult a couple of the teams with more experience than us. "Oh yeah? Uh, you already have a wonderful spinner weapon there, you can keep that up front. As far as the sides, you wanna go offensive, defensive..." "If they're weapons, they've got to come out the sides." "How many do you have?"
Will: Three. Should we consider like self-righting when positioning? Or kinda like an anti-tip or maybe in the middle- "I figured the unicorn horn was for self-right." "I like the vertical spinner."
Will: Okay. "I think the sides' weighted weight, I'd put 'em all on in the front." Will: But what about we tip? Or what if we do two on the front, and these are the anti-tip, kinda like the "Trifecta of Death" "You know, everyone comes in with a different style bot, a different plan of attack..." "Two in the back as..." Will: The anti-tip, and then a vertical spinner on the front? "And then a vertical spinner on the front."
Will: Okay. "Or attach it on here-"
Will: Actually, that's, I think, the best advice we've gotten from anyone here. "I like the paint scheme, the themes, the sponsers, it looks really great. We'll see you in the box, alright? We're gonna add extra armor." Will: Yeah! God, that guy's great. Why are there so many airplanes? Shut up! You think it has anything to do with being right next to an airport? How long do you have to shake these for? Magical sparkles! Ponies and fun! How did you get dragged into this? "I have no idea." Everything's finally coming together! All our hard work and perseverance is paying off. Oh, I put the wrong screw in, dang it. Whoo! ♪ "Pink fluffy unicorns, dancing on rainbows" x infinity ♪ "I'm Cameron, and I'm your danger ranger for the day. What's your team's name?" Will: It's... oh God, I don't have a team name. I just have a robot name. Moist Pony. "Okay, so we're gonna wanna see safety covers on any sharp points, or anything like that. Anything that could be, you know, damaging to people getting it out of the pit." Will: Like this?
"Yeah, especially that. That's perfect, thank you." "These could be dangerous too-"
Will: Only when it's moving, though. So as long as it's not windy... [Intense Wind] "Do you have any flamethrowers?"
Will: Not intentional. "Internal combustion engines?"
Will: We could... but we don't. "Pneumatics?" Will: No. "So what does this robot do, then?" Will: Uh, basically, when it drives forward, the blades spin at ridiculously high speeds and just tears everything up in their path... as long as it's not metal, plastic, wood... "It sounds dangerous." Will: It is very dangerous. Do you mind if I just turn it on here on the safety table? "Uh, no, no. You're gonna have to do the functional test inside the box." Will: Do you wanna explain why it's so important for us to test the safety of these bot battles? "Well, safety comes first... Safety comes third." Will: Wait, what's first and second? "First is fun, second is danger." Will: Should I turn it on right now? "You have to wait... Alright, we'll do the activation test." Will: Can I be in the box? Can I, can I be in the box? "No no no-" Will: What happens if a safety inspector gets mauled on the job? "You're ready for the arena." Will: Can I have a hug, safety inspector? "Doctor." Will: Alright, so we've passed our safety, they've given us a cart, and now we gotta figure out when we're fighting. Welcome to the battle box! We finally got Moist Pony approved, and celebrity driver Simone Giertz. "Noo don't call me a celebrity!" Will: "Do you have any RC driving experience? Simone: "I mean I'm holding it right now- how do I turn the controller on?"
Security: "I just don't want her to walk by and get a razor blade in the eye." Commentator: "In the red square, this damp stallion isn't horsing around; it's Moist Pony! And its opponent, in the blue square, it's HUGE!" Will: You got this!
Simone: "I think the only reason you want me to drive this is so you have somebody to blame!" Will: Alright yeah, uhhhhh... Commentator: "In three, two, one, fight! HUGE spins up, and Surrender Bot goes shooting across the arena towards Moist Pony."
Simone: "Wheeeee"
Will: Come on, Simone! You got this Commentator: "Moist pony and Surrender Bot interacting out in the arena"
Will: Right in the razor blades! Commentator: "HUGE taking the shot and Moist Pony escaping, HUGE looking to sack-" "Moist pony, showing off its stallion prance as it moves around the arena-" Will: The best defense is offense! Commentator: "HUGE turning... Oh, and there's the shot! Moist Pony all over the arena! We're not putting that one back together."
Will: [Screaming] Simone: "I think that went well!" Commentator: "Surrender Bot doing a little victory wave, it was a very close battle, HUGE almost..."
Will: Oh God... not like this You did this! That was visceral. "I think it was a really close call, it's really gonna be up to the judges." Will: Oh yeah, who's the judge? Holy crap! Look, right above the lights! Like where is the pink fabric? There it is! "Shut up, William!" Alright, that's it. I would like to thank celebrity guests HUGE and guest driver Simone. Do you guys have a sponsor you want to shout out? "Thank you to-"
Will: Wait. "Thank you to Mouser who sponsered us, they're the best and you should buy your electronics from them." Will: Thanks Mouser. We should totally give away the parts of Moist Pony - not the fluff, though. Do you like delicious... MOIST... pony? Well get your own piece of Moist Pony right now just by leaving a comment down below! We got wheels... That's a drill motor relay thing. A controller! Simone touched this! You can have it... that's really weird. Alright, thanks to BattleBots for letting us film! You can check out their episodes of this show- oh man, how do you do this- in May the 11th! And thanks to Simone for filming! We got a link to her channel. That means there's four more razor blades. "It just disappeared." "There's still some parts you can salvage." Will: Ebay!
What exactly did the big bot do? It seemed like there was two bots on their team, both of which just drove around until the moist pony exploded
If you're like me and only care about the moneyshot: https://youtu.be/D0T1247mi8Q?t=9m
This video made me extremely happy