♀R: Hey guys! Today we’re here with Grace
and her husband Ryosuke. ♂R & G: Hi!!
♀R: From the channel: G: Texan in Tokyo!
♀R: Texan in Tokyo! J: You two are so close.
♀R: They recently started their own channel and they’ve had a blog for quite a while.
G: I draw comics and I do blog posts about being in an interracial, intercultural relationship
and also just being broke newlyweds in Tokyo! ♀R: They VERY graciously let us stay here
in their apartment last night after our big meet-up in Tokyo.
G: It was so much fun! ♀R: SO MUCH FUN omg!
G: There were so many people! J: It was crazy.
♀R: And we found out we have a ton in common, especially when it comes to being married
to Japanese guys. So we’re going to talk about a few of those things today.
♀R: The number one… strangest thing, maybe… J: “Strange…”
G: Sorry. ♀R: Sorry! They’re just big differences.
J: It’s all right. ♀R: Feet in Japan are considered really
dirty, and it’s never been a big deal for me in America.
G: But when we came here, then like… When we first started dating, he wanted me to wipe
my feet with wet wipes before I got into bed. ♂R: With this!
G: Omg, you brought them? Really?? And I was just like, are you serious? I’m not… I’m
just going to go to my own bed, then. ♀R: Right! And then we already take off
our shoes here inside the house, and for me that’s like… oh, this is already clean
in here. G: Especially if I took off my shoes, I’m
wearing socks all day, and now you want me to clean my feet before I get into bed? Like…
no. Sorry. ♀R: Jun’s the same way. Like, feet are
dirty. J: Like, never ever have your legs on the
pillow or something. ♀R: Oh yeah. And he freaks out if my feet
touch the pillow. ♂R: Oh…
J: Right?! G: There was one time I hurt my leg and I
was propping it up with pillows, and
he was like, “What are you doing?! Stop it!”
♀R: I’m like a monkey, so my feet are everywhere. At home [America] I’m barefoot
everywhere, like run outside in the yard, “WOO free!”
G: But not here. ♀R: No, not here.
G: Ahh… yeah, feet. ♀R: Feet.
♀R: Number 2 was telling your friends and family that you’re in a relationship.
G & ♂R: Ahh yeah. ♀R: In America people are so open with their
relationships. And even if they’re not, they’ll tell one person and then that one
person will tell everyone. So everyone knows. G: Everyone knows.
♀R: Right, there’s no such thing as a secret relationship in America. That’d be
kind of weird, actually. G: Yeah, or there’s a serious reason you’re
hiding it, like they’re not your only girlfriend or something.
♀R: Yeah, right! Exactly. If you’re hiding it then it’s usually because you’ve got
someone else… G: And even just telling your friends. So,
he studied abroad, Ryosuke studied abroad at my university and so we had a lot of the
same friends so a lot of his friends were my friends. And they started talking to me and they were
like, “Grace, it’s kind of weird. Ryosuke never talks about you. Are you guys okay?”
And I thought that was really weird because I talk to everyone about my relationship ‘cause
like… I’m a girl, and I was so in love! But it’s like a Japanese thing where you
don’t really talk in depth about your relationship to you friends. And so it was weird. ♀R: Yeah. J: Sorry. ♀R: It took Jun a while to tell all of his friends, too. ♂R: It's still kind of weird for me. J: We don't really feel for need, for example like Facebook, to change the status.
G: Facebook official. J: One of my friends got married recently. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. G: Sometimes I can’t tell when my friends
are dating. I was in a club and these two people were dating—I had no idea. It was
when I was studying abroad in Japan. And they’d been dating for three years and I was friends
with her, she just never really talked about the fact that she was dating this other guy.
And so it was like, “Oh… okay. Cool!” ♀R: They’re just so private about their
relationships here. G: Which can be good.
♀R & J: Yeah. J: Two more?
G: Two more. ♀R: Number 3—those were the communication
issues, right? This is HUGE. This is probably with everyone who’s in an international
relationship. G: Or intercultural, or if there’s any language
barrier. ♀R: Language barrier, yeah. And apparently
it seems like Japanese guys who are learning English end up making the same sort of mistakes.
G: Yeah. ♀R: Because English phrases have specific
nuances and you kind of just have to study the language and know what those nuances are.
J: But you can’t really learn or study nuances unless you make mistakes.
♂R: True. ♀R: Yeah. Right. So, for example, sometimes
I would call Jun, upset, on Skype. And I wouldn’t even be able to talk to him because I’d
be so upset, I’d be crying. And then Jun, instead of saying, “What’s wrong?” which
is what we’d usually say in English, he would say, “What’s wrong with you?”
Which has a completely different connotation to it! If you’re not a native English speaker,
“What’s wrong with you?” is angry, it’s accusatory, right? G: It's like saying, "UGH Why are you so messed up?”
♀R: “Why are you being like this? Omg.” ♂R: Aww, what’s wrong with you?
G: So many things. So many things. And then for us—he does this all the time, where
like, even like last month he sent me a message while he was at work. Like, oh, “Don’t
plan anything tonight. I want to talk to you about something.” And so immediately I was
like, oh no! We’re going to have a huge fight tonight. And so he gets back, and I’m
you know, really nice, and I’m just like, “Okay honey, what did you want to talk about?”
He was like, “Oh, you know. Anything! I just miss talking to you. Let’s talk about
something!” And I was just like, are you serious…? I have been freaking out all day.
What are you doing?? Sorry, I love you. ♀R: No, Jun totally does that. He still
does that sometimes, “I want to talk.” It’s so serious! That’s such a serious
phrase, especially if you have the word “need” in there, like, “I need to talk to you.”
It’s like you’re breaking up or something. G: Or like, “I have serious problems. You
need to wipe your feet more!” or something like that.
♂R: Yeah, you have so many serious problems. G: Wow, thank you honey.
J: I’ll try to be careful about the words I choose.
♀R: Thank you. What was our number 4? G: What was our number 4? OH! People hitting
on! ♀R: Oh, yeah! Maybe there’s also a cultural
difference with how you flirt in Japan? Jun is completely oblivious to flirting. And people
say guys are like that everywhere, but… G: He’s like REALLY oblivious.
♀R: Yeah, yeah. Jun doesn’t even know the signals so he unintentionally flirts with people sometimes.
Like, he’ll sit at a table- J: That sounds horrible.
♀R: He knows now, because we talked about it before, because I had to tell him, “You’re
flirting with people.” He would like sit at a table and like lean in while talking
to someone and then drown out everyone else, and like look at them in the eyes and talk
to them. It’s like such a serious connection there.
J: I just want to let the other person know that I’m listening to you. That’s all.
G: You are a nice person. Don’t do that with girls, though.
♀R: Right, and I think it’s also like, the trying-to-understand-the-English thing.
G: Ahh, gotcha. ♀R: Especially when girls are flirting with
him, like if they get up close, like *GIGGLE* you know, or put their hand on his arms, like,
“Oh, you’re so silly teehee!” G: Ryosuke doesn’t really notice when girls
hit on him. I don’t know, I think he’s really sexy so I’m a little bit biased.
Especially when we were in America, since he was studying abroad at my university, often
other girls would invite him out to dinner, or even just eating alone at the cafeteria
or going to a movie. And him it’s like, “Oh, yeah, sure! I’ll meet a new person!”
And to me it’s like, “No, you’re not eating alone with another girl who’s not
me.” Especially if I don’t even know her. That’s a little…
♀R: Dinner and a movie is a date. G: That’s a date!
G: I think he doesn’t really notice when girls hit on him. To other people it’s really
obvious, and he’s just like, “Oh, she’s such a nice friend!”
♂R: Yeah, that’s how I see it. Sorry. ♀R: I’m glad you’re so excited about
making friends. ♀R: It’s interesting we’ve had all these
same experiences. G: Yeah! And don’t get me wrong. I love
my husband to death, even if he does weird stuff. I think it’s entertaining.
♀R: It’s all interesting. It’s all a new learning experience.
G: Yeah! ♀R: And I mean, you have the same kind of
stuff in a non-interracial relationship, where there’re communication problems, too. But
it’s fun being with someone from another culture. There’s so much more to learn.
You’re always learning something. It’s always exciting.
G: Yeah! And if you sat Ryosuke in front of a camera and asked him all the problems he
has with me because I’m American, trust me. There would be a really long list.
♀R: Yeah. J: Ryosuke, we have to make the guy’s version
next time. ♂R: Ah!
G: No! Don’t talk about my bad characteristics. ♀R: Yeah, let’s not do that. All right,
well thanks for watching guys! I’m going to link to her channel down in the description
as well as her blog, so please go check that out!
G: Yay! ♀R: It’s really interesting. And like
I said, she’s another American woman married to a Japanese guy, which is always really
exciting to meet here in Japan. I’m really excited I got to meet you!
G: Yeah! It was really fun! Thank you so much! J: No, thank you so much.
♀R: Thanks for watching, guys! Everyone: Bye!! G: The first time his parents knew about me was he skyped his parents and was like, “Oh,
by the way, she’s going to come stay with us for the summer, and I’m dating this girl
named Grace!” like yaaay! ♂R: Yay!
♀R: Ours was like the same exact thing. Jun wasn’t planning on telling his parents
about us for a long time, after I had already gone back to America after meeting him, I
found really cheap tickets, like suddenly, out of the blue, for Christmas vacation. It
was only a week away and I was like, “Jun! I’m going to come visit you!” And he was
like, ‘I haven’t even… my parents… I don’t know…” And so he told his parents
literally a week before I went and stayed with them for a month. So that was probably
a bad way for me to meet my future in-laws…
