1952 Monkey Business

[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] not yet [Music] [Applause] Carrie [Applause] [Music] not yet [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] Carrie [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] AR you have the key uhuh well look for it darling look in this first pocket that's usually where you hide it oh yeah oh but I didn't hide it I put it there so that I could find it here it is would you turn on the porch light and turn off that hall light close the door and be sure that it's locked and I'll start the car I understand oh you come on in Barnaby what we're going to a dance oh yes and we're going to be late if we don't hurry oh yeah now let's start all over again you've got your key mhm now it's in that pocket that's right I put it there on purpose and you're going to turn the porch light on and the hall light off and then you're going to lock the door right now come along darling barab are you thinking oh yeah yeah it's pretty dark in here isn't it all that's it's better what are you thinking about why's the test being made in the lab today they prove that only 23% of the formula is being assimilated oh the formula well you know what that means that that means that 73% is absolute waste 73 what happened to the rest of it no no not 73 77 what did I say 77 oh I guess that's why it's having so little effect on those chimpanzees we're experimenting with we've been giving it to them for over two months now certainly hasn't done what he should have done I thought it was doing rather well no no no that's the trouble it isn't doing well at all what about that one monkey you told me about Oh you mean Rudolph yeah well he's pretty old isn't he well Rudolph's about he about the equivalent of 84 years old in a human well didn't the formula cure his rheumatism didn't it make his coat much glossier didn't you say he felt a lot better oh in a way well then what do you expect well it isn't what it should be edwen must it be before you're satisfied with it thetically it should have a much greater effect now I just got to find a way to make it more easily assimilable huh assimilable more easily assimilated oh yeah you know I thought I had a good idea at the front door just now I guess I just thought I had anyway it's gone well it'll come back to you I doubt it it'll come back to you oh that's the trouble about being a chemist you know you can't actually think every now and then you feel compelled to sit and stare at a sheet of white paper hoping it'll speak to you but it never does oh is that a new dress mhm oh I like that look at it I like a man sticks out or is that you well you ought to know it isn't you you ought to be going somewhere in a dress like that yeah I'm glad you like it oh ho these smokes we forgot all about the party why didn't you remind me we're not going why not well we're not going for a number of reasons one when I dance with you I want to dance with all of you I don't want your brain to be somewhere else I know you're not very often the absent-minded Professor but darling when you are you're a real zombie yeah I admit it and I don't want people to see you like that now go on sit down and and relax and be brilliant hey you know you're all right how do you like your eggs how did eggs get into the conversation you're hungry aren't you I'll fix you something to eat and call Hank and tell him we're not coming did your telephone hang mhm he wasn't in I left a message don't tell me you solved the formula already no now I had my mind on another thing I tell me you''ll be looking forward to going to this party for a month haven't you now darling we're not even going to discuss it oh I know then I'm just thinking it's queer about people what about people now through no F of their own to get older well now that's a Prof we do get older something happens to them are you referring to me Barnaby no I was thinking of the human race as a whole pretty sad Groove you get me some soup plates darling well if you don't think the human race undergo certain morbid changes as it matures I ask you to recall the night of the Everett Winston party oh I don't recall any ever at Winston party do you remember our honeymoon of of course I do D put those over there well a week after we got back from our honey the Everett Winston invited us to a party I'm sorry darling but I don't remember going we didn't go we didn't oh yes now I remember we stayed home just like tonight no Ed that's what I'm talking about we stayed home from that party for an all together different reason tonight we're staying home for an intellectual I remember we didn't want to share each other with anyone you were so sweet remember how the telephone kept ringing for hours and hours and hours I'll get it now you see what I mean tonight we're answering calls hi hi say what's this message about not going out tonight that's right why well sometimes your think's more important than going to a dance Oh The Genius at work again huh I'm glad I'm a lawyer not a chemist where is he he's in the kitchen I'm fixing dinner I've got a few things to say to him this has happened just once too often now look here double Dome what's the idea of doing something tonight you can do just as well tomorrow I'll get you a drink you'll feel better why can't you be a genius before Sundown and a human being afterward because I never know in advance when I'm going to be a genius here's your drink you can't call off a date at the last minute when your wife's got a new dress and I book a table it just doesn't make [Music] sense no I don't suppose it does what are you doing no nothing de I think you better sit down huh no no no do as I tell you and you see what I mean cold I see what you mean now neither one of you making sense no well I I think that Mr an whistle is disturbed because he can't take you to the party tonight and dance all over your feet as he did the last time well I certainly didn't reserve a table and order flowers and everything just to look at your face that's what you did I go on sit down have your soup while Hank drinks his drink and be careful it's very hard is it all right now well I can only tell you Mrs fton if you'd been smart enough to marry me instead of this you wouldn't be in a kitchen cooking no where would you be cooking be did you burn yourself I hope he did darling I told you it was hot don't worry he has no feelings here eat some bread quickly what Dar say something Heat well I know blow on it heat just ordinary heat I never thought of it heat could make the formula 100% effective darling I think you solved the problem for me do you really think so I'm almost sure hey do you know what just happened he burned his mouth no silly you just solved our whole future if your whole future depends on figuring out that a plate of soup is hot hey now wait a minute tell him darling I've been promised a pretty good job if I can make this formula work yeah no more commercial assignments no more working on nonskid girdles or noiseless popcorn bags no fully yes a roving commission select my own field of research exchange ideas with other professors all over the world including a percentage well that's fine what seems to me a celebration is in order no reason to stay home from the yacht club party now no except we're going to stay home from the ever Winston party what are you talking about ever Winston left town 3 years ago we're still staying home from his party but you can't stay home from a party if you your phone's ringing yes I know shall I answer it no just let it ring that's important isn't it oh it's very important uh you two are away Beyond me please convey our regrets to the ever at Winston and say we're very sorry the language is confusing but the actions are unmistakable good night you two just a moment please good morning oh Dr Fon Mr Arley would like to see you in his office thank you good morning Dr Fulton good morning aren't you here early oh yes Mr oxley's been complaining about my punctuation so I'm careful to get here before 9: Mr Ox is on the telephone won you sit down I'm glad we have a moment I have something I want to show you for instance isn't it wonderful I'll big of fun the new non rip plastic stockings you invented oh the m41 acetate project this is an experimental pair the first pair out of the factory aren't you proud turned out rather well I'll say you can't tear them or snag them or anything I'm familiar with the no matter how hard you try you'd be amazed doctor oh no I wouldn't be amazed I've done a lot of experimenting with this kind of thing course I'm through with all of that now Mr Oxley Dr poon's here good morning sir good morning you can come in now thank you if you not too busy well Miss Laura was just showing me her acetates yes no calls please yes sir Barnaby I want to talk to you yes you know I'm very much interested in this new experiment of yours as a matter of fact I'm all steamed up about it how's it coming well our problem is to increase the efficiency of the formula could be quite a thing you know I stumbled on to something last night that may be of help well that's good news oh I wanted you to see this advertising layout I want your opinion we jumped the gun on a little but I thought we'd better be ready well well why before before as in before and after emphasizes the youth angle get it what's the vulture doing that's a phoenix a mythical bird rising out of the ashes of age makes the youth Point again dignified yet forceful and do you mind a comment Mr Oxley not at all I'll welcome it I think it's appalling from what point of view well it's Ned and inaccurate it implies that we're going to offer the public some sort of Fountain of Youth drug but wouldn't it make people young Mr Oxley we're working with a large number of ingredients Each of which as we know accomplishes certain beneficial results results well well it depends upon which combination of those ingredients we use and the proportions in which we use them mathematically we may never find the right combination or the exact proportions to produce the effect you're talking about it will be a miracle but you can do it my boy he I told you I didn't want any calls Mr Oxley Dr Lenton on the phone I told him you were busy but he says it's very important who is he well he's D he's my new assistant oh yes well just a moment Mr find someone to type this oh Mr Oxley can't I try again no it's very important better find someone to type it for you yes sir anybody can type who' she say was calling Dr Lenton oh yes yes Dr lle yes I know he's not there Dr Fon is here with me yeah what really what sort of reactions why that's amazing we'll be right there come along Barnaby you've done better work than you know come along Miss Lael it's amazing what's amazing Dr what M it says one of your monkeys broke loose we've got to hurry he's acting very strangely obviously a reaction to your formula I knew you could do it Barnaby I knew it be careful monkey behave yourself but what keep going what happened J I haven't the slightest idea doctor all I know that he's opened the door of his cage and has been acting very strangely let go him Gentlemen let's see him in action not telling what he's all to do let go of him look at that old chip Miss Laurel 84 years old 14 years older than I am am and just look at him I am looking Mr [Music] Oxley this is incredible now Rudolph come down rudol you come down oh come on Rudolph understand you beh have you been giving him stimulants only the formula only x57 good boy the test we yesterday gave no indication that come on Rudolph act your age what's the matter with you today R come down here don't act like yourself this isn't like you come on now come on now come on Rudolph behave yourself come down that's better that's what you doing there that cage contains our new female monkey bye George bye George come here Mr Oxley haven't you seen enough yet come here something's wrong let me see if there's something I can do with him sir you're welcome now Rudolph you calm down now come on Rudolph you behave yourself that's better now that's be a good boy do as I tell you now come on down for that come on that's good Come Along come on all right now calm down and sit there and let me look at you yes well gentlemen I think we've seen enough I'd like to consult with Dr Fon alone bonbe if you're formula will have the same effect in humans it's the greatest thing in modern science sit down we intend to discontinue every other product in the plant we'll turn out before and nothing but before I'd like to offer myself as the first human to try it Mr Oxley that may be dangerous I'm perfectly willing to take that chance oh this isn't Rudolph what but no no no this this this chimpanzee is only 6 months old Rudolph is a male this is a female B me are you sure well reasonably she's wearing Rudolph's jacket but this is Esther here hold on Esther will you please look I'll prove it to you now there's Rudolph with Esther's number on well I suppose a janitor gave them a bet and swiss jacket by mistake yes well I suppose that's the way it happened M I certainly feel that now well personally I I'm really I'm glad it happened now you're expecting too much from that formula before Mr Oxley perhaps it's the name that's confusing you you just let me work in the laboratory for a couple of hours I'll be better able to prove what the formula will do well let me know when you're ready and let's have no more of these false alarms they certainly take it out of a man come along Miss Laurel what a ridiculous way to start a day well I hope it doesn't get any worse sodium escapate 3,000 MGR okay you keep quiet that Stu oh Esther don't you like the way I'm doing this sodium liate yeah let's say 4 T each do three dose will be 1200 Mig of check not tie on it 2,000 Mig the whole three doses well that about does it now you're WR we'll refrigerate these factors and heat these these remain as is we'll use Dr Miller's cooler and incubator shall we label this x57 as usual no x58 and not B4 oh good morning oh good morning oh go did the monkeys take a bath this morning why is there one missing no no Gus yes did you bathe the monkeys this morning oh yes of course sure why then you mixed up their uniforms oh I did oh I'm awfully sorry D I'll fix them up right away well no that's all right you can do it when you feed them this afternoon that'll be soon enough but don't let it happen again oh no sir I won't oh quiet down you've caused me enough trouble already grown up men playing with monkeys my rabbit guinea pigs now [Music] monkey what's the matter oh my brittis uh that's one of the things I hope the formula will alleviate intend to take it yourself certainly I do why not to try it on Jerome oh I wouldn't dare try it on Jerome you remember what happened with the hair restorer yes one of our more successful experiments well we learned how to remove hair anyway let's talk about something else hey hey hey how did you get out of there huh listen eser or rudol whatever one you are come on come on you get right back in your cave no I'm not going to carry you walk come on what you do getting out get back in how'd you get out anyway Gus I thought you were going to attend to that later I wasn't changing them Doctor Esther got out and not putting her back in her cage oh well I guess that was my fault I forgot to close the lock kind of messed your stuff up there I'll take care of it Gus all right oh don't bother with anything now Jerome I'm anxious to try this seriously doctor you think you should take it self-experimentation is against the rules of all good research WR the history of Discovery is the history of people who didn't follow rule well here it goes to x58 and a better world bitter get some water oh that Gus oh it even makes the water taste bitter well better put these away theoretically doctor what might be the first reaction oh I hav the vaguest idea what about the length of time it depends upon the period of abortion it's quite possible [Music] that touch of dizziness and you have a slight flush oh well that's probably due to my natural excitement around 150 well that's odd there's nothing in the mixture that could accelerate the heart and you feel dizzy you said as a matter of fact I believe it's increasing well I better recall my [Music] reactions pulse 150 is that right 15 mounting vertigo no nausea a sensation not unlike a series of small electric [Music] shocks jome jome where are you I'm here what is it I can't see I'm blind please go on with the notes oh this is too serious I get some help as I tell you there isn't time I know what I took if there's an antidote we'll have to find it ourselves just take the notes it's like a cloud very peculiar feeling a general milkiness but no discomfort in fact uh it's a sensation of extreme well-being as as if I do you what is it paralysis can you speak try typing one for yes two for no can you hear me doctor can you hear me perfect then hand me the telephone book please whose number do you want let me have the [Music] book Inglewood Dro Forge and Tool Company 1065 West Houser Avenue Inglewood West 6094 or five this isn't possible it is possible Jerome for the first time in 10 years I able to see without my glasses perfect vision I can't believe it there now I'm blind again fog you see now I can see again doctor x58 seems to be a success Oh indeed it does I'll try my best citus oh oh I beg your [Applause] pardon another twin this is amazing Dr barab Fulton let me shake hand with the next Nobel Prize winner delighted pardon me my phone's running over hello Department of Water and Power which one would you care to have cut off hello hello oh Barnaby you sound as if the formula was a success did it go well tell me anybody give me a party we can stay home from again tonight I know oh what a say well then pour yourself into that new dress we'll go out and celebrate right I'll be ready oh don't forget what you have to do what I have to do first get a haircut haircut yeah and get a new suit new suit y oh and darling uh stop by the automobile agency Mr Peabody just called and says he has a very goodbye a goodbye eh well goodbye to you oh what a joke a real knee slapper you do feel all right I'll get it oh H Griff par Zoo snake Department hello hello what is this this is Mr Oxley I'll see if he's here no no no I said this is Oxley who is I am speaking oh you're Mr speaking this is Mr Oxley speaking Oxley speaking any relation to Oxley barnab fton is that you who's called me I am barnab Oh no you're not barnab I'm barnab I have to know who I am this is Ox speaking Barnaby well now that's ridiculous you can't be all three now figure out which one you are and then call me back and I'm coming right down there coming right down all three of him what will you do what will you tell him I won't be here where are you going look up things to do what I've got to get my hair cut and a new suit and a new car but Mr Ry will be furious what shall I tell him just tell him the truth tell him you don't know who he is but doct I can see that just keep your bun burning but where's Dr Fon where's Dr Fon I want to see him he just left I didn't pass him in the hall he went through the window through the window what's this all about what's happened to the man he took some of the formula and went out of here acting almost as though no exactly as though he were 20 years old by George by George you know where he went yes sir hello get me Miss hello get me Miss Laurel quick where'd he go to buy a new automobile sir what kind of car does he drive Ford hello hello Miss Laro now listen carefully I want you to go to Every Ford agency in town and find Dr fton but Mr Oxley which shall I do first he'll be at the agencies to find him you'll have to go there oh I see Mr Oxley and bring him back here yes sir right [Music] [Applause] [Music] away well doctor I cut it the way you wanted me to I hope Mrs Fulton likes it she [Applause] will what do you think fits rather well but are you sure it's what you want Dr Fulton well tell me do they ever wear trousers to match oh very s uh usually gray flannels oh these socks ought to go well with [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] it to be honest with you Dr Fon I don't think either you or Mrs Fon are going to be happy for this type of car isn't exactly what you had in mind yeah well you're perfectly right let's take off the fenders no I'm sorry we can't do that doctor it's against the state law ah it's too bad well say you don't have to have a beaver anywhere around do you hello Miss l oh hello Dr fton hi hi I'm so glad I found you no I found you pick a finger Dr fton oh you know that one yes oh what a Pity Mr oxen sent me he wants to see you right away oh well hop in the bus I'll get you there in a hurry this your car sure jeez it's a Hy well takes one to no one oh Mr PE would you get that sup box out of my own car please well all set is your water running it's yours there you are doctor oh thank you Mr peot he just mailed me the bill certainly takes a while to warm up that's me too oh watch your head I'll watch everything [Music] else oh Dr Fulton this is fun what about Mr oxy the plants back that way I know we're going to circle the field so fasten your safety belt no [Music] smoking [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] a doctor look and see if the flaps are down well do she'll be good as new by 5:00 5:00 oh we can do lots of things by then can't wait sure DOC come along you skate much dog oh not lately but don't worry I'll show you [Applause] how look do care well I'm all right I'll get the hang of it soon I'm going to be good you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] wait doc that's awful high oh no not for me well everybody looking at [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] be how about some music I'd love it did you know how to have a good time yeah you know something I used to think he didn't you like me hey just a minute do you like me a little no just a minute well say so I like you I like I'm crazy about you doc oh no wait wait listen to this oh that's dull let's get don't you dare turn that off that's our favorite song ours yeah edu isn't mine edua my wife oh gentlemen songers off on the spre do I going say it sounds like a silly song to me why must you say that in my opinion it's a silly song now in my opinion your opinion that it's a silly song is a silly [Music] opinion is it getting dark no not particularly what's the matter on must be something wrong with my eyes is there anything I can do doctor no no no no it's just I can't see very well so please don't be angry with me oh I'm not angry I because I would why did you yell because nothing don't be mad at me do oh I'm not mad tell me is there planted along here somewhere yes oh would you please tell me where to turn turn right now turn doctor turn no yes turn turn Way doctor oh you all right Miss Laura I told you to turn yes yes I know I'm terribly sorry but I'm afraid I can't see would would you be good enough to park the car for me please sure I will thank you thank you hello Mrs F good evening Joe thanks for calling calling me he the doctor in his office yes ma'am when I went to tell him you were coming he'd gone to sleep so I didn't wake him up oh does the Mr Ox know if the doctor's come back yes ma'am he said he'd be down thank you Joe who is it it's me darling oh hello edua I can't see you well where your glasses how let me think oh I left them in the lab Jerome probably put them someplace well I'll find them for you yeah oh here they are Barnaby H you sure you're all right here where in they are oh yeah just a little fuzzy what time is it it's almost 8:00 oh no is that late oh I've done it again we' were going out for dinner well I've already had my dinner but I brought some for you you know Ed I'm terribly sorry I wouldn't have I know you wouldn't have darling where'd you get the poodle poodle well don't tell me I bought the poodle the haircut oh yeah that that oh yeah that's a quite a jacket you bought yeah know I now wait you see the car I got no what kind uh you'll see it soon enough oh darling you were a real idiot to try the formula on yourself something could have happened oh it did I mean something serious here have some coffee yeah thank you oh oh I strained every muscle in my body roller skating good Heavens don't tell me you went roller skating afraid I did and your face is breaking out with red blotches oh they're not blotches dear that's lipstick oh yeah Edina what I have to tell you is unbelievable yes it is unbelievable on roller skates H what balance well I I wasn't on roller skates all afternoon obviously no you never believe what I did I broke records huh oh you'd have been amazed I wish you could have been there well I wish I had been too well I did things I never dreamed I'd do you know I tried to Swan Dive I missed well no wonder you're worn out why to be all of this is very confusing what about the formul that's what I was telling you about oh oh I'll start at the beginning at 11:52 this morning I took a dose of the formula and in a few minutes I began to behave exactly like a college boy with 2020 vision and no burst citus and plenty of lipstick oh well the formula had nothing to do with that I'll get to that later uina we've discovered something that the human race has been searching for since the beginning of time are you really serious Barnaby it works well it did on me cuz I I can't explain the reactions it seems to work on the Mind edua imagine people never aging oh it sounds frightening you mean it it really does that well cuz I don't know half of what it'll do the dose I took is already worn off on let me see that was eight hours probably the dose was wrong now we'll see hey where you going well I'm going to try to explain in again but this time with a larger dose oh I'll switch on the light will you please do barnab must you make another test oh probably several I'm glad you're here to see if nothing goes wrong this time I want you to observe and make notes of everything I do knowing me so well you'll be able to interpret the exact meaning of my my behavior B don't you think you want to change that coat and wipe that stuff off your face before you try it again oh yes perhaps you're right by the way whose lipstick is it oh uh what's her name you know oxy secretary Oh you mean that little pinup girl very cute da but half infant not the half that's visible well she's not my type barav how much of this stuff are you going to take well just what I poured out there I've increased the dose see in that way I'll be he what are you doing what did you do that for because this is the way it should be after all you're the scientist and you should do the observing but now don't argue go on and get your notebook I've done it oh would taste awful bit or get me some water oh now really Adina For Heaven's Sake besides according to your story you weren't exactly 100% scientist after you took it other things became much more interesting perhaps you're right oh even the water tastes bitter it did to me too oh Barnaby I'm a little bit frightened I'm here dear it's kind of silly isn't it I'll take care of you I don't feel anything is it supposed to work right away just a few moments would you clean off your face because if I get 10 years younger and see that lipstick I'm to knock somebody's block off oh yes dear bar is it true about before before I've just heard the most fantastic things about you does it work you'll have a chance to judge for yourself quite soon Mr oxy my wife just took 50 cc's of the formula really by George by George Dr Bruno and Miss Laurel are on their way leave wor there to come in here immediately yes well Mrs Fulton it's very kind of you to lend yourself to this experiment thank you Miss darkley well we have to watch your reactions darling yes I suppose so now I know how a poor little guinea pig must feel may I sit down Yes dear but don't just stand there do something Yes dear pulse around 150 just the same as mine was it doesn't seem to be any fever outside of being somewhat embarrassed I feel exceedingly well what reaction do you expect barnab well I don't quite know I suppose it depends upon the individual with you it took the form of thinking as though you were 20 oh that's true keep still Ed we good what was Mrs Fon like at that age H well edwen was a very serious-minded student she majored in economics and took several summer courses in ethology and cooking ethology the study of fish Jerome said your first symptoms was your eyes your vision became perfect oh that's doctor but you can't count upon that you see eda's vision is already perfect it will probably take an entirely different form my dear do you feel anything strange not a thing how about you Mr Oxley oh but I haven't taken anything oh yes you have Mr oxy you hear that bonbe a rather odd reaction undoubtedly we can expect something soon we certainly can she's sitting very still is it possible there's not enough movement well if there isn't there soon will be I can hardly wait wait for the results this is quite a [Music] moment that's it Oxley watch him Barnaby watch him it's working it's working it's working you hear what she said bonab it's taking effect something wrong bonab oh what's the matter sir I don't know oh well perhaps the excitement's been too much for you perhaps you want to sit down Mr oxy no no not calm yourself Mr oxy now take your time Mr oxy that's better take your time and sit down oh my oh give me a piece of give me pie of I think we to go now of I think we to go give meie of where are you going I'll be right back Mr [Applause] O hi Dr Fon hi what did you say to her Mrs FY said hi I heard what he said you peroxide kissing bug Eda she hasn't done anything I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots Edina now come along Miss Laura you keep out of the way Ed Ed now stop it m o I'll be right back put them up put them up was that fun just see him jump and put a fish in his trousers come on let's go back I don't think you better Ed I don't why not where are we going well anywhere let's go dancing well Ed we well all right all right we go dancing anything you say oh is this our new car yeah I'm afraid it is hey that's super duper oh you like it oh boy yes hey why don't you let me drive you go on and get over there huh I know we'll go dancing in the pwi arms pwi arms yeah that's in La harya don't you remember of course I remember room 304 where we spent our honeymoon all that way yeah we'll stop by the house and get some things what are we fun just to go dancing Ed WEA I put the bags in the car and we can keep your coat on the Barnaby do you think this is too conservative well what do you think well say something well I'm glad you like it I'm going to drive you're too slow how do you work this oh yes like [Music] that oh Barney it's going to be our honeymoon night all over again with no hands yeah yeah yeah yeah honeymoon with no hands yeah sure aren't you excited well yes of course dear but there's no hurry about it wouldn't you like to slow down so that we can talk who want to talk well edua I have to test your reactions oh Bary no oh it's wonderful to have the wind in your hair and watch the moon and the stars and the road oh the [Applause] road evening sir oh good evening would you like to register yes please do you have a small Suite overlooking the ocean please uh yes sir thank you I B oh is room 304 vacant yes that's the bridal Suite you know yes I know oh oh yeah could you please leave word that we're not to be disturbed yes sir 304 come along de thank you very much yes [Music] indeed Edina Eda dear Barney listen to that let's not waste time let him take the bags on up to the room darling it's 11:00 I've had a very rough day oh Barney you promise oh oh oh oh just put the keys in the room bring me the bags and [Music] I [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] la [Music] Barney Barney don't go to sleep this is our song Oh [Music] yes every time I hear it it makes me feel dying I could never be mad or unhappy when I he it I just want to leave near you yes dear Barney wols wols wals Yes [Music] dear oh no [Music] oh oh come on Ed get up Ed Ed get up Ed get up help me up oh we that was fun Barney try it I wouldn't think of it come on try it just please this oh I know where the key is it's here you usually keep it here right there see okay here we go really open the door H anded WEA aren't you beginning to feel tired at all not a bit why do you want to go someplace oh no no no no I was thinking you know I I should make a few tests check your blood pressure and heart a Barnaby not tonight uh edua in making such an experiment it's always good to make a few Barney what are you sure you really love me of course I do dear whatever made you ask such a question well it just occurred to me now does that answer your question you know I love you so much it makes me dizzy really when did that start first time I ever met you no no I mean the dizziness oh I don't know this is our honey night and that's all I care to think about yeah Bonnie Bonnie what are you going to do I just going to put on my pajamas well uh uh don't you think you'd better change in [Music] there what for well uh well that's all right I'll I'll take my things in the bathroom I want to be a few minutes became suddenly shy better put that down 15 minutes to change complete reversal of usual Behavior pattern on Eda Edina are you all right yes darling I'll be out in a second oh Barney I'm so happy but what's the matter darling why are you crying I can't help man well is it because of something I said or did no what is it then I was just thinking what about mother oh mother now I understand no you don't what is it then I can't help of thinking how she must be feeling tonight she never liked you well I say she doesn't try very hard either I do everything I can to please her how can you be so insensitive she had such wonderful dreams for me and my future well she can still have them can't she no she can now Ed we drove all the way down here to enjoy ourselves and to pursue an important scientific experiment at the same time now let's not spoil it all by having a silly quarrel about nothing don't you call my mother nothing I didn't call your mother nothing don't you raise your voice to me I'm not raising my voice H anle wouldn't fly into a rage just because a girl happened to mention her mother oh for heaven what's Hank and whistle got to do with anything I only mentioned Hank an twistle because my mother was always very fond of him he knew how to please her you know there's something clinical about the way you bring up the name of Hank an whistle every time you get annoyed with me do you regret not having married him look who's talking what about alvara Bliss oh for heaven's sakes alvara Bliss that was in grammar school I know she was the teacher and I suppose that Myra mckillop was in grammar school too and Miriam Eng Les whom you tried to teach to play golf for 3 years oh yeah that reminds me she still got my Putter and you dare speak of Hank and twistle who only kissed me once he kissed you well that's something you never saw fit to tell me before you kissed Hank an whistle I never said that I said he kissed me I never kissed him said he did say exactly that I said nothing up my glasses you struck me you stuck me you horrible man you br you get out of you really got to cut it out you oh no no no Edina now stop it now really oh Edina now this is ridiculous you know I can't see Edina please let me in do you realize that I'm out here in the hall and oh no oh oh no edua something's caught in the door please let me in well it's your own fault please let me in no oh well there's only some way I can make her understand oh I know Edina edua dear listen to me we're poor little lambs who have lost [Music] away you hear that Edina Edina please operator now uina I can't stay out here any longer oh well oh oh you unlock the door well it's about time now dear if you just cooperate we get oh dear I wish I knew where there was a telephone oh perhaps there's one in here you think there'd be a telephone somewhere oh where am [Music] I oh let me in Eda let me in the keys in the car man' all right thank you very much thank you how's that Mr all right oh yes thank you now if you just Barnaby oh my poor darling oh edua is that you darling I've looked everywhere for you what are you doing here getting out of the laundry the uh these two ladies were kind enough to help me thank you both very much I'll be all right now we're glad to help anytime at all Mr oh I hope I don't do it again Barnaby do you want to go into the hotel and change oh no no please just take me away from here take me home oh the car's right over here how did you get in the laundry well I don't know I think I flew in got what I st oh but I didn't have my glasses yes I know I stepped on them here you better put this on what for because you might get cold oh that's it here now get in oh that's are you all right yes thank you dear you yes the effects of the formula worn off now don't talk just relax and try to get some sleep on the way home huh [Music] yes darling we're home wake up oh good good good good I'll help you you know I just had such a peculiar dream about Hank was that true about you kissing him not that it matters of course dar it's so s oh I just remembered I did something terrible and I forgot to tell you hey who's that hold it you get it Dr Fulton yes we're from the news doctor we'd like a statement what about we had a call from your lawyer Mr whistle oh my I do wish Hank wouldn't give out statements to the Press about my work come give us a whole story doc darling I I can't be impolite to the gentleman well I have nothing to say until I finished all of my experiment is there another woman doc oh no no there's no other woman my wife has been my only victim so far uh I'll have a much better story for you when I've experimented with 10 or 20 others I'm not going to try it again with human beings for a while I'll stick to chimpanzees is that right wait a minute Barney you you're talking about two different things what happened doc did your wife raage your love and N don't answer that Barney you don't know what don't try to protect them UA this is good for our soul what are you doing here I'm here because get inside now look don't do that Mrs Fon this is all the story I've got well that's all the story you're going to get to what is the idea of making statements to the Press don't try to pretend you don't know the reason I tried to tell you out on the porch but you know the reason very well and don't pretend that you don't happened at the hotel last night keep your distance after if you lay a hand on her you'll answer me sh up and go home Barnaby I've tried mother well oh no Ed Hank told me I expected you'd be bruised and disfigured but mother you don't understand Edina what is everyone talking about you stay away from her you wife mother it isn't what you think now it's all my fault no Eda I won't let you forgive him you'll just do it again shut up Ed and you too mother but as your lawyer and your friend I must adise you you just one too many you told me I did now what is it you want me to do if you don't now go on now listen here you two no you listen to me I'm not going to let you throw away the rest of your life will you please tell me what's been going on Barnaby if you'll only oh I just knew something like this would happen Edina will you please tell me mother I've been playing guinea pig for Barnaby trying a new formula and under its influence I caused all this mess oh oh you you mean you telephoned Hank yes darling I I did that last night after you left I'm terribly sorry but I couldn't help oh well I don't suppose it was your fault actually oh don't let him dominate you again do something do anything but just my my my dear mother-in-law yes now I have not lost my temper with you for 7 years do not trifle with your luck well let's be civilized about this that's better now just mind your business and shut up now would you drive me to the plant please said we know right away yeah yeah soon as I can put on some clothes I'll try to salvage some of the wreckage I seem to have made of Our Lives well I mother I think you'd better be quiet hello Jerome oh good morning Mrs filon doctor I looked everywhere for you last night later please Jerome right now I'd like to have the laboratory to myself for a while oh yes very well doctor uh oh Edina my spare glasses are in the top drawer of the desk would you get them please certainly dear here oh yes here they are D you're acting rather Stern are you angry at me because of what I did last night Ed weina I thought this over very carefully and I've almost come to a conclusion I was thinking of destroying the formula destroying it so then you are angry oh I've been in better moods do you think you'd feel any better if I fixed you some toast and coffee you haven't had any breakfast yet remember yeah thank you I'm starved all the coffee and coffee pot are in there you can use this plug as your own uses all right you know I I've decided that the formula is the most dubious Discovery since itching powder and just about as useful oh I wouldn't say that it cured your btis and improved your vision I must say it made you feel young H I'm beginning to wonder if being young is always is cracked up to be a dream of Youth we remember it is a time of Nightingales and Valentine and what are the facts Mal adjustment near idiocy and a series of low comedy disasters that's what youth is I don't see how anyone survives it now uina now tell me something because it's been bothering me yes dear why did you want a divorce oh Barnaby it wasn't me it was the formula you ought to understand that oh I understand it was the formula that brought it out brought what out some subconscious adversion to me adversion to you well I love you you Potato Head how I know there isn't some buried resentment that you don't consciously realize well I certainly don't consciously realize it and I think that's pretty rotten of you to say that wait a minute what about the way you kept bringing up Hank anst that's go do you love him now that is ridiculous I don't know you kissed him didn't you you can't seem to get that out of your mind can you no I can't well all right are you in love with this um who it of course not well you went smooching with her on roller skates and may I ask what was your hidden aversion or subconscious discontent or whatever it is you want to call it that made you go playing patty cake with her all over town doing a Swan Dive acting like a well go on oh Barnaby don't say anything darling and I won't either we should be fighting having doubts about our marriage that isn't right it's just my point that's why I'm going to destroy the [Music] formula oh now really are you crying are you sure you want to throw away two years of hard work yes I am that's still in my head unfortunately I'm going to forget it it's too dangerous is utterly unpredictable oh now please please don't use this water can't you see the sign just use the bottle water out of the cooler and make plenty of coffee I need a lot this morning that's right hello this is Mr Oxley oh Mr Oxley Dr Fulton's here in the plant he just came in with Mrs fton are you sure yes yes sir well how is Mrs Foton is she behaving normally well she didn't try to hit me but she wasn't very polite she never mind now listen carefully Miss Laurel I don't want them to leave have the guards hold them if they try to go you understand yes sir and notify the entire board of directors that I want to see them in the conference room immediately I'll be right down yes sir now this is funny tasting coffee it's bitter yeah I know I noticed it it's not the coffee it's the after effects of the formula formula what a fool I was to let you take that stuff last night you couldn't help it hey that's your third cup I know it it's your second cup isn't it yeah good suppose you taking an overdose perhaps I didn't no no I mean a serious overdose you know it's perfectly logical to assume that you'd have behaved even younger remember Mr Oxley jumping around you know my I'm going to be embarrassed when I see him again how young do you think it could really make you if you drank a whole glass full no I don't know 12 10 5 might even turn you into an [Music] infant I just imagining you not being able to talk or feed yourself even it could be very embarrassing yeah it couldn't have be well you know it's just about what could happen uh I'll get it hello hi hey did you ever find the fish what' you do with him yeah I'm Keen well he's serious going to actually what on your mind Bon could you and your wife meet me right away we're just here drinking coffee I'll be in the conference room we'll be right there put that back there put that back to any other orders sir going up good morning gentlemen good morning Dr foron will be here shortly so please be seated we must act quickly you all know why you here to negotiate with Dr Fon for his formula as far as money goes I say all out and hang the expense yes but as chairman of your board of directors I want to point out that Fon made his discovery on our time I've got bad news for you GJ we do not have the formula what last night Dr lentle Dr Lent sir Dr Lenton Dr Fulton's assistant brought me a dose of the formula and I took it I can't tell you with what eagerness I waited the results but there were none no reactions at all the formula that Dr thingamabob brought me is incomplete now there must be another ingredient that he knows nothing about Dr Fulton has made no record of it and there's nothing in his notes to tell us what it is and without that ingredient we are helpless failure to keep records is against every rule of this organization Fulton knows that he's been an employee for over 10 years failure may not have been intentional Fulton was not himself yesterday morning oh definitely not well let's hope he's himself now there's no doubt about it we are now dealing with a sane and adult scientist and I anticipate no difficulties well all right Oliver go ahead if you want them it's up to you I wonder what's keeping them doctor would you mind taking a look yes sir Mrs Fon come on in uh what's the matter now come on in Mrs Fon forget all about last night I assure you I have come in yes yes you fellas are always experimenting aren't you I believe you know everybody here yes come on take a seat make yourself comfortable oh Mrs Fon won't you sit over here do I have to no I want to sit here all right baraby I think I speak for everyone here when I say that I consider you one of the Great Men of modern science now I asked you to come here today to discuss the sale of your formula our organization our organization is ready to offer you a block of stock the income from which is sufficient to keep you and Mrs fon to keep you and Mrs Fulton in comfort for the rest of your life now the question is how much cash do you want barab I said how much cash do you want Oh name any amount a zillion dollars what how much did he say a zillion dollars that's a million trillion why Georgie's taking it again s look here foron your Discovery was our property in the first place take it easy we don't have to give you a cent oh I wish I had a nickel foron I'll black ball you out of the chemical industry oh you're talking to a child GJ don't be ridiculous he's no child oh what you said pull him up here give me some no no no no knock that off my should when we get mad we don't fight do we yes we do father they didn't teach you then in school well who hi hello Dr Fon did you come to play with me no I came to Mr mind Miss Laurel I think you'd better go no no no I wanted to stay and play with me come well if I let her stay will you tell me the missing ingredient in your formula yes yes all right go ahead well well all right now now say terrifi terrifi now say tissue tissue now say the both fast together d i te you [Laughter] no how dare you oh goody goody why Miss laa really Mr O don't you do that youo I did it I fixed her I shot her now now you sp everything did you see her R she just scared little girl you stop it you hear me stop it now you come over here you sit in that chair and behave yourself you understand behave yourself yes sir now Barnaby Barnaby Barnaby where are you he's under the table Bon what are you doing under there tickling Esther come on out I want to talk to you I don't think we want to talk anymore GJ we're dealing with a 10-year-old we've got to humor him there's no other way if you say so Oliver well come on down here and help me don't just stand there bonab Bon I want to talk to you you want to tickle last she likes it no no no no how would you like to have a nice gold watch and chain on your own would you like that bonab I've got one no no no but not like this one no no I don't want it well would you like a new bicycle or a pony yes how would you like that oh what do I have to do for it well all you have to do is to tell us what was the ingredient that you put in the formula oh oh well you promis me a zillion dollars and a nickel we'll give you a zillion dollars and a nickel and and a on a motorboat and and and a new pony yes how would you like that when just as soon as you tell us what the ingredient was you added to the formula oh that's simple I just add oh now look bonab bonab aren't you going to tell us bonab what you want to ride that for just throw it sh it is it is it you're going to erase it I won I won you promise to give the [Applause] in I'll somewhere can't catch me why don't you help me catch her catch her when you tell us sure somebody stop on there catch her catch good what was it heat heat yeah I heat to the mixture to 150° paranid by George we've got it no no fair I got go on you Ras it no I won yes youas it you hurt me let go Baby You Ras it oh es what are you doing up there come down here this is Mr Oxley Mr Oxley they're getting away you heard what he said we've got what we wanted that's all that matters but actually we better be sure bother me now I'm busy D come here we're standing on the brink of a new world and the new what is it you want Mr oxy I eat of the formula I gave to last night get that monkey down from there what' you say I said I heed the formula I gave to you last night it didn't do any good he's fooled us again well don't stand there go and catch him run after him go on get a police one get two [Music] police when are you going to stop tagging after me when I want to why don't you go play with girls why can't I play with you I don't want you to that's right oh R to be full and I don't like you then go away I will not so there then don't go away I'll tell my mother here's one for your mother I'll tell Hank whistle here's two for Hank and whistle oh now look what you've done I'm going to tell an I'm going to leave that pain was here hi [Applause] baby [Applause] [Music] he's going to be sorry for what he did very very sorry I'm going to call Hank and twistle that's what I'll do I'll call Hank hello I want to speak to Hank an twistle please you Mr that's what I said ma' I'll show him I'll hello Hank this is Edina oh hello edua you come over in my house right away what's the matter it's Barnaby he threw a whole bucket of paint all over me see what did you do I didn't do a thing I don't ever want to see him again now listen edua are you going to go through with it this time and really leave him yes I'm going to go away far far away I'm going to go away and hello hello Ed Ed what's the matter huh oh I don't know I just suddenly felt very sleepy that's shock edua I saw a lot of it in the Army now just like Li down and keep warm and it'll go away in a few minutes and I'll be right over goodbye coming over here what do I do when that's what I do I'll get my gang I'll scalp him scalp him man can't whistle you wait you see what I do to him I'll scalp him that's what I'm going to do scalp him [Music] I'll fix it I shouldn't Dr F I'm just getting this to scalp a [Music] [Music] man the thing some people think of good morning Mrs Branan morning you going to be here for a while yeah I should be another hour or so would you mind watching Johnny for me I have to go to market and it's too much trouble to drag him alone sure I'll watch him for you I won't be long all right come on Johnny here we go here now is a nice big yard for you to play in H you all right okay what do you want us to do with a bad man Red Eagle yeah Red Eagle tell us well first we stop his car and then capture him then what do we do with him that's time to a stay and then burn him yeah yeah and burn him good that won't work who said that I did oh you huh why won't it work somebody will stop us the minute we light a fire they all always do yeah that's right what do you say rle well that's time to a staken scalop him that's it you mean for real sure can't scallop anybody unless you do a war dance first oh but just a minute I I'll now no remember that you two Braves can't scal up anybody unless you do a war dance first he's right R eag well we can scalp him can't we you have to do a war dance first do you know a war dance Red Eagle uh uh sure that's no good you got to sing when you do it oh you got to sing all right we'll sing Oh you with the drum give me a beat now give me a beat like uh B you sing sing [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] gloo I I I wo wooho wooho baraby darling speak to me say something oh my God Operator Operator get a taxi will you this is 1605 guil press send a taxi rideway emergency thank you darling Oh Darling Barnaby are you trying to say something well speak to me Barnaby I'm your wife say something thing oh my poor husband what have you done to yourself driver hurry please hurry yes ma'am write this way Mis hello kids hi hi why did Mrs Fulton say to meet her here she didn't say was Mr Fulton there I mean at the house he could have been oh that's the reason I see it now Mister will you play with us we need a nice tall man to play mapole well I'm sorry but I haven't time now don't you like children of course I like children why are you mean to them then I'm not mean to them don't you want to make us happy of course I do then play mapole all right I'll play mapole will you if you'll go tell Mrs Fulton I'm here okay you're very nice to play mapole with us now you step right back here against this tree and hold this up real High all right that's fine come on I thought you were going to tell Mrs Fon can't I watch for a minute no you promised you'd do it if I'd play Maple what was it I promised to tell her you tell her that I'm here now why don't you hey wait a minute you're getting this too tight I can't move you come out now ready [Applause] go [Applause] W oh I have a message I don't yes I want to see him too oh Miss Laurel oh for goodness sake M Oxley M Oxley Mr Oxley you've got to do something about Barnaby and you've got to do it right away now there there little girl now don't get excited would you like some lemonade or a piece of candy oh stop Mr oxy stop it the formula is worn off I'm not a little girl any longer it's Barnaby I'm talking about well what is he up to now well you've got to save him you've got to bring him back I'm trying to bring him back I've got everyone including half the police force trying to find him do you know where he is he's right here right here in my arm oh no Mrs fot don't cry remember you were the wife of a great scientist oh poor Barnaby was so brilliant now look at him it's a pretty baby is it yours of course he is I didn't know you had a child Mr Oxley this is Barnaby what that's what I I've been trying to tell you this is my husband you mean the formula's gone too far and this is the result yes I can't believe it well it's true and you've got to do something about it by George by George Oxley speaking yes aliv prepare yourself for a shock GJ Dr Fulton's formula has backfired and turned him into a baby a complete idiot huh no not an idiot a baby an infant 2T tall don't talk rubbish Oliver I'm not talking rubbish I can see can't I I wonder well we've got to find an antidote and we can't do that until we know it was in the formula well just get the truth out of futon anyway you can well come on in here and help me all right now we've got to find out Mr Oxley he's trying to say something what are you trying to say darling well go ahead tell me please try let me talk to him Barnaby I'm going to speak to you very slowly so as not to confuse you but we're going to do everything we can to help you but you've got to help too you understand Barnaby please listen try hard this might help listen he remembers he wouldn't take it before and now he will Barnaby we can't find the antidote until we know the real formula well don't frighten him I didn't say anything to frighten him he's being evasive again Barnaby you lie to us about the missing ingredient now what is it what oh Mr Oxley he can't talk well what are we going to do we can't wait until he grows up I'll be dead yes and when he's 20 think how old I'll be well Oliver is that the brat you were talking about yes GJ this is Dr Fon don't you call my husband names madam what are you trying to put over on the Oxley Chemical Works stop talking like a fool I came here for help and you all are responsible Jerome you were my husband's colleague can't you find an antidote I warned him I warned him this proves There Are No Boundaries to science you're all talking nonsense that's no more Barnaby Fulton than I am I ought to know my own husband yes oh now look what you've done you've made him cry that's all right darling Don't Cry he's probably tired and sleepy yes sleepy well that would be a sign that the formula is wearing off that's the way it worked with me you mean sleep might bring him back to normal it did before Oh BOS Mrs Fon where are you taking him to his laboratory so that he can take a nap on his couch where he'll feel at [Applause] home hey look the [Applause] C this Darkly this is all I this is all I could find give it to Mrs Fon this is f to this too yes thank you isn't he cute Miss Laurel keep your hands off of him please I wasn't he's defenseless I can't have you touch him he's got to get some sleep yes ma'am he doesn't seem sleepy now perhaps we should take a blood chemistry please will you please be quiet and give him a chance yesterday when he took the formula he had to sleep before he became normal again and he's got to sleep Mr Oxley sometimes I try counting sheep well I hardly think you oh I know what might do it now now listen Barnaby we're poor little lambs who have lost our way nice song little sheep have gone [Music] asay but jge this waiting certainly takes it out of a man I need something haven't got a drink around you have you doctor but Mr Ry I don't drink I didn't ask you that ask you if you had anything to drink around you well for medicinal purposes no excuses just get it good idea some glasses get some more guess I like a little water with mine will you have a drink Mrs W no thank you drink comes in pretty handy sometime in what GJ please thanks well here's go here we go t kind of bitter doesn't it yeah strange get rid of that before anyone else drinks it yes I'll give you a hand there's no excuse for having water like that around here Dr see that that CL is cleaned out before it's used again yes Mr O [Music] oh who are you oh I don't get who you are just just move over there's a good oh oh I'm so sleepy what no no please no familiarity just just go to [Music] sleep [Music] [Music] Barnaby darling Oh edua I thought I'd lost you and now they're two of you what do you mean that two of me I I I I can't see my glasses you know oh your glasses well wa here they are dear oh darling are you all right yes thank you I'm all right here who is is this I don't know I thought it was you what do you mean you thought it was me I don't understand well don't you remember I carried you in here when you were a baby oh that's impossible well don't you remember anything well sure the last thing I I was scalping Hank an whistle what's that I don't know hey you better take this come on sweee you know we ought to find out who that is yes indeed must Dr Fon I'm so glad you you you got what's going on they've taken it it was in the water what do you mean the monkey mixed it I'll get you Dr you look I'm going to make a monkey out of Rudolph I'll get you back I'm going to draw you no fair using hot water me hi old boy I knew you pull out of it here's a contract for you signed sealed and delivered you're a genius old boy hey we go I you got a fire ho there what's the IDE me me come on in and Jo the party come on in there there's the man who did it to [Music] me Barnaby Can You Hear Me Yes dear I've been thinking I'm just beginning to I was wondering if I had my choice of living these last three days over again what I'd say oh let's hear it that interests me well we've got a new contract we've had a lot of excitement and we're going out on the town tonight just for two of us that's funny I hear you oh I didn't say anything anyway I was just thinking I was thinking about you care to elaborate on that how about you not being disappointed when you found out that it was Esther who' invented the formula M your suspenders would look better up Imagine The Secret of you locked up in the head of a monkey you think they'll ever find out how to make it oh I don't know they got Esther working awfully hard darling why weren't you disappointed well I've got a new formula on now Barnaby if you start that all over again say help me out oh I like that dress yes you do uhhuh all right what's the new formula well it doesn't come in packages or bottles you're old only when you forget your young want say some more it's a word you keep in your heart a light you have in your eyes someone you hold in your arms I I'm glad I'm going out with you tonight come here [Music] you like my [Music] formula Mak you think doesn't it I can use a lot of that what time did you order the [Music] [Applause] table [Music]

Channel: David Swinson

Views: 1,367,039

Keywords: 1952 Monkey Business, grant, cary

Id: eAiTvtGIJ-0

Length: 96min 57sec (5817 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 23 2015