13 Subtle Ways to Make Him Want More With You

what does it take to get a bloody relationship these days a lot of people finding themselves in these protracted casual situation ships dynamics that mimic relationships that give people the boyfriend girlfriend experience but try and pin someone down and ask them are we actually in a relationship are we actually exclusive is this going somewhere and suddenly they start to freak out is this something you can relate to well if so i think this video is going to be one you enjoy very very much i'm going to give you 13 ways to be taken seriously by somebody for a relationship and they are really practical and really easy to do before we do that i want to make sure that you go over to howtogettheguy.com we have a new tool over there it allows you to tell us what your love life challenge is right now and then the tool recommends you my best solution for what you're going through all you have to do is go over to how to get the guide.com put in your name and hit start here for your personalized solution now onto the video number one be more than a last minute plan it's so easy when we like someone and they text us at the last minute saying do you want to do something tonight it's so easy to just say yes now i'm not saying you should never respond to a spontaneous offer to see someone but if you find yourself routinely responding to last minute offers then you are devaluing yourself instead send someone a message back that says i'd have loved to but i have plans tonight maybe give me more than 24 hours notice next time question mark little blushy smiling face number two don't just go with their flow on a date there's a temptation isn't there to sort of please someone by going with their rhythm their pace what they want if someone else wants to have many drinks we feel like we should have many drinks with them someone else wants to stay out late we have work in the morning we're going to be tired we don't really want to stay out late but we do someone wants to have sex or go home with us we oblige because we feel like we should and we're attracted to them but it's a bit fast for us but i am attracted to them and maybe it won't hurt so we do it even though it's not something that we actually really consciously want to do don't just do it because the other person wants to when you set the tone when you go with your own flow you get instant respect and you get taken seriously number three suggest a date plan now this doesn't have to be for date number one you can see if they're good at coming up with a plan for date number one but for date number two or three or four don't be afraid to be the one who actually takes initiative and suggests something why don't we do this i found tickets to this thing do you want to go it shows that well a you're confident enough to suggest something b you're diverse in the kind of things you like to do hey i saw this event this mezcal tasting experience do you want to go do it i thought it could be fun but c it also creates a sense of adventure that this person experiences with you it's not just on a set dating track that mimics every other date he's been on there is a unique experience and moments that you're gonna have together number four send a post date text this is where you're the one who actually sends a text saying i had a really lovely time tonight now i actually don't get hung up on whether you're the one who sends the text first or you send this as a reply my point is don't be indifferent don't be too cool sending a text that says i had a really great time tonight is an act of vulnerability and it shows that the date actually meant something to you and this is especially important after intimacy if you go home with someone and have sex the next day don't play it call and just be like well i'm just not gonna text them i'm gonna wait for them to come to me i'm not saying you have to rush to text them but at some point that day send them a message and say i had a really amazing time with you when you send that what you're showing is that that actually had some meaning to you and so the implication is you shouldn't treat me casually or lightly because that wasn't just nothing to me playing it cool backfires if it teaches someone if the message received by them is that the moments the intimacy the experience of being together had no meaning to you by the way this is a technique called post framing what you're doing is attaching value to an event after it's happened so that that person knows that that event actually had some meaning to you and it makes it more likely therefore that it will have meaning for them too number five show genuine appreciation for something they did if there was effort made by somebody and by the way you can do this in the same text i mentioned before or you can do it in a different text actually acknowledge the effort that was made hey by the way that was really sweet of you to arrange the tickets thank you so much that shows that i actually noticed the effort you made i'm shining a light on it so that you see that effort too what it tells that person subconsciously is oh i made an effort look at that and if someone actually acknowledges and realizes they made an effort then it makes it more meaningful to them that they made that effort and of course the fact that you're appreciating it makes you valuable too because not everyone does number six have them come to your part of town one of these staples of someone being casual is them always having the dates on their terms where they want at a time that suits them what we want to do is bring someone into our world and one of the ways we can do that is simply by having them literally come to the area where we frequent where we live i'm not necessarily saying your house your apartment but have them come to your part of town especially if that part of town means that they're the one who has to go out of their way this time and i always think that bringing someone into your world is a way of bonding them to you more if everyone is always kind of uprooting you from your world and putting you into theirs then they're in their element and you sort of exist as this you exist in the abstract in a way you're not a person with a life and who is tethered in all of these ways and has these interests and where here's where you live and here's the places you go to here's your local coffee shop no instead you just exist in their world as an idea one of the ways to be taken seriously is for someone to actually see your roots who you are what you're all about the places that make someone realize oh this person is a person with a life and and things they love i remember the first time going to my now fiance audrey's place and seeing plants all over the apartment it was it was like a moment where i realized oh this is something she really loves and i didn't know about it before that and that created more of a three-dimensional picture of who she was and like i've said before when someone becomes three-dimensional to us they are far harder to walk away from number seven regardless of your beliefs about who should pay on a first date at some point pay for something whether it's you're the one who buys the tickets to something or you pick up the tab in a restaurant or you're ordering delivery and you just hand them your phone with the restaurant already selected and say choose what you like and you're the one who does it on your account it shows that the dynamic isn't a transactional one it shows the absence of any kind of entitlement and it shows you're a team player that you're willing to contribute and when someone is thinking about their future more than anything else registering that someone is a team player is a deep reason for choosing someone number eight send them a picture from a different part of your life where they see you in a context they haven't seen you yet we all are multi-dimensional but a lot of people only see us in one context the date context it could be a picture or a video of you having a fun moment with your family and they get the context of you being this person who loves and is loved by these people in your life it could be you a work conference where you're dressed up in your work attire and you say five hours of business workshops today wish me luck and they get to see you in a professional context whatever it is it goes back to that idea of painting a three-dimensional picture about you a huge part of that is what i call unique pairings when someone sees that you're not just this thing you're that thing as well you're not just sexy and fun you're professional you're not just professional you're sweet and warm and a family person it shows these different parts of you that make you a complex and uniquely attractive person number nine send them an i was listening text this is where you send them a text message that calls back to something they have told you about themselves or their interests so it could be that they talked about how they love movie scores and you send them a text with a link to a movie score that you really love they thought you'd like this since you're so into movie scores when you do this it's a a little vulnerable on your part and b it shows that i actually even in the amount of time that we know each other which may not be very much understand something about you something about what you like who you are as a person and in sending you something that relates to that it's almost a form of acceptance isn't it it's a a form of understanding and accepting who someone is number 10 save them a cookie i mean if just go if you show up you know to their house sometime and you say i made these for myself earlier but i saved you one because i know you really like cookies obviously the cookies are a metaphor um unless you ever come to one of my events in which case this is very literal and i will never be unhappy with you saving me a cookie but it's also a metaphor let's just call this one tiny gifts you don't want to do it with big gifts big gifts reek of trying too hard but little gifts shows that i was thinking of you when we weren't together and therefore you're a thoughtful kind person to be taken seriously number 11 be playfully assumptive if someone sends you a message that says what you're up to you say why miss me then you follow with another message before you freak out and go that's so arrogant i would never say that you immediately follow up and you say just kidding i'm with my sister right now we're having such a good time what are you up to but the work has already been done you've already had that moment of being self-assured being extra confident and also putting in their mind the idea that they miss you so that thought has been created you texted me because you miss me and i'm making you aware of that i am someone to be missed number 12 avoid the bandwagon of agreeing with someone all the time one of the sexiest things we can do at times is disagree with someone be willing to break rapport not aggressively but in a way that shows that we have our own mind our own opinion our own way of thinking i actually think one of the really sweet ways to put this into practice is if you see the person that you're dating talking in a mean way about someone and you get to just kind of almost check them a little bit sweetly and playfully but let's say they're saying something mean about someone you go hey be nice now in that moment you are calling someone out and that creates like just a little hair of friction which is good that kind of friction is actually good you're breaking rapport what it says to someone is i have a high standard for myself and you just fell beneath that standard for a moment and you're confident enough to albeit playfully and sweetly check them on that now number 13 is i think the most surprising of all of these little techniques before i tell you number 13 did you at the beginning of the video when i said go over to how to get the guy.com put in your name and hit start here tell it your love life problem it will give you my best solution did you do that or did you just brush past it like it was a dove advert like it was an advert for pantene shampoo it's not it's an advert for me the guy that you came here to watch so please go over to how to get the guy dot com put in your name tell it your love life problem and it will recommend you one of my solutions seriously though go over there it's really good and lots of people have benefited from it now number 13. number 13 beware the weekend away now the reason i think this is surprising is because when someone invites us on a trip it feels like it might be a route to something more serious a route to getting really bonded and connected with someone so that by the time we come back something more serious is on the cards the problem is if we just go and do that without assigning any meaning to it we run the risk of assuming that just because time spent away in close proximity with somebody would mean a lot to us that it also means a lot to them too now i'm not saying you absolutely shouldn't go and have that weekend away with somebody but what i am saying is they should not be in any doubt as to what something like that means to you or the significance that something like that might have to you now by the way if it has no significance to you that's okay but we're not having that conversation if you want to go have a fun weekend with someone go do it just don't think it's going to move the needle on anything but what you can do if you're looking for something serious with someone and they've invited you on a trip is say to them i instinctively want to say yes because i like you and i think we would have the best time but i also know that something like that is meaningful to me and i wouldn't just be going on a trip with a boy if we weren't on the same page about it now he may say about what which by the way if someone says about what that's normally a bad sign if someone starts our acting obtuse when you say things like that that should be treated as a little bit of a warning but if they say about what then you say well you know about whether there's any intention behind this afterwards or whether it's just a bit of fun which is totally fine but i know myself i wouldn't just be going on a trip with a boy if it was a bit of fun to recap on this point don't do it thinking that it will mean the same thing to them because that's a massive assumption and it may be wrong and don't go away with them without them knowing that it does mean something to you and by the way for anyone out there who is nerdy like me and just enjoys the language to put to these things in number four we were talking about post framing in other words sending a message or having a conversation with someone after the fact to let them know that it had meaning to you this is pre-framing letting them know before you do the thing that it will have meaning to you hey let me know what you thought of this video we were excited to make this one for you and i'd love to know what you think please leave us a comment let us know which of the 13 was your favorite technique for being taken seriously and like the video subscribe to the channel hit the notification bell so that you get the notification for the next one and we'll see you next time go over to howtoguide.com put in your name tell it your love life problem and it will recommend you one of my [Music] i kind solutions love it i like it i think we keep it

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 1,124,268

Keywords: Matthew Hussey, Matt Hussey, Get The Guy, How to Get the Guy, Dating Advice for Women, attract men, keep your man, dating coach, relationship coach, relationship tips, what men want, make him like you, make him love you, how to talk to men, how to attract men, meet men, get the guy, tips for women, flirting tips, texting, calling, love advice, relationships, matt hussey, matthew hussy, mathew hussey, how to flirt

Id: HC57S5vgFI4

Length: 17min 53sec (1073 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 31 2022