105FF: Moving from Scarcity to Abundance Mindset with Money - Feelings & Finances

hello and welcome back to the feelings and finances mini podcast series on the money skills for therapist podcast this podcast series is all about answering listener questions questions from you the folks who listen to the money skills for therapist podcast and giving you the chance to have your question answered and it's fun for me too to just answer questions like this is kind of what I do all the time in money skills for therapists and money skills for group practice owner calls is I kind of have this feeling of like okay bring it what's the question going to be and gives me the chance to support the folks who listen to this podcast so today I do have very much this feeling of like okay what's the question going to be I'm ready because I have not listened to this question yet today's question is from Lind she is our marketing coordinator here at money nuts and bolts she has a submitted a question and I haven't heard it yet so let's listen to Linda's question together hi Lindsay this is also Lindsay just spelled differently first up I just want to say that I'm love your podcast I think that you have such a soothing voice and I feel like I could just listen to you talk all day so thank you for putting that out into the world for all of us my my question uh pertains to my relationship with money I'm always scared that I'm going to run out of it now I don't know when exactly this started I mean in high school I had absolutely no problem spending money my teen years it was a nonissue but now I don't know somewhere along the way I I feel like i' I've started to almost hoard it in a way and while I want to be conscious of where my money is going I don't want the act of spending money to feel so heavy on me so I was just wondering if you had any advice for me that could you know help shift my mindset from the scarcity mindset to one of more abundant thank you so much for listening and I'm excited to hear you hopefully answering this on an upcoming podcast episode thanks okay so this is a great question Lind and this is something that over I think over the last few years in money skills for therapist I've seen this happening more and more like when I started doing my work on money skills for therapist like when I created this course in 2018 was our first round I was really focused on folks who overspent who like couldn't stop spending money and felt like really like money always disappeared and I used to like talk about that a lot and I still do you know in terms of helping folks understand who the course is for but over the last few years Lyn I've had more and more folks in the course talking about what you're talking about which is the other side of the spectrum right which is like clinging and hoarding and something that I want to reflect is like that is also a disregulated relationship with money right like that shows a relationship that is out of balance but rather than this kind of like out of control can't hold on to it it's like the opposite where it's like can't let go of it right there's this clinging around money so you know since this is something that you're aware of but haven't dug into too much yet the first thing that I always encourage is curiosity right like start to notice around this fear of spending money spending money being heavy like what is that heaviness is there a story that goes with it is there specific fear that you have is there a belief about yourself or belief about money itself like the first step lenss that I would encourage is to really be with this experience to start to kind of turn it over in your hands and be curious about like what is this what is this right is this a fear of running out of money and like not having stability is this about security and safety is this about like not deserving I know for me for instance like some of my anxieties about spending over the years when I reflect on them now were about not really feeling entitled to take up space in the world or kind of like General existential anxiety about like consumerism these kinds of things I know for me have made it like hard to spend and like accumulate things so it's like what is that for you right like what is making it difficult to enjoy spending money because what I'm hearing is in the past in your your teens your younger years you you were able to spend money freely I don't know if it was too freely like I don't know if there's maybe a pendulum swing that's happened here but I would be curious about what changed right like what what has brought you to this place that you are now did it change when you had kids did it change after a certain Financial experience that you had just really being curious and digging into this and whether that's through journaling talking about it with your friends talking about it with your partner something too that can be really helpful for all of us is just letting ourselves slow down and track what the experience is like if you know that you need to spend money on something and you are noticing that like feeling around it trying to stop notice like what is the emotion what's happening in my body like what are the thoughts all those kind of like typical therapist questions go a long way to starting to uncover what it is for you right because once you know what it is for you then you can start to address it you can shift it if there's parts of you that are stuck in the past like if there's a part of you that went through the experience of like making a big Financial mistake or like being broke or maybe not having enough money in your life not enough food to eat like there's such a spectrum of experiences that we have around money if there's a part of you a part of your brain a part of yourself that's still stuck in that place sometimes it's about helping that part of us catch up you know to where we are now to notice like oh right I'm scared of spending money because of this but also letting yourself see like but the conditions have changed right my life is different now helping yourself see why it can be okay to spend some money and then with this this as well Linds I would encourage you there's a couple more pieces that you know come to mind for me one is that I would encourage you to think about how do you bring some more lightness into your relationship with money are there places that it feels good to spend money are there places that you could experiment with playing with money like what if you give yourself $15 and you just get to think about okay how can this $15 bring the most joy into my life I'm going to go out of my house and I'm going to take this $15 and I'm going to turn it into the lightest most joyful experience that I can and letting yourself notice that like playing with almost the opposite experience of lightness and joy around money so that's one piece and that'll also let you start to really see like what comes up what's in the way what is it like to spend money on things that you really enjoy can you take in that experience can you notice that you do that and it's okay then the other piece is you know I know that you uh have a young daughter at home I know you have another kiddo on the way and that's also a very financially stressful time of life it's very expensive to have little kids and so it also makes me think about what can you put in place with your spouse so that you do feel like there's a good stability there is a good base you know you do know that you're covered you have set clear buffer goals with your spouse or you've got a budget together that you know okay this gives us like Safety and Security this is actually what we need to be okay because the reality is you can't spend all the money you have but to know okay once we have this much in the bank or we keep our budget around this then we have this room to play and spend and you know have more light experiences with money right so it's like a both end we don't want you swinging to the opposite extreme where you're just going nuts and spending all your money but we also don't want you to be in this tight place because that's also a very stressful place to be with money so to summarize I suggest being with the experience being curious about it journaling about it talking about it tracking the feelings and emotions I suggest experimenting with going the other way and trying to play with bringing some lightness into your relationship with money how can money feel light where are their times with there's exceptions and then look at if stability or safety which I think is often a part of this hoarding and and clutching around money is often about stability and safety if that is part of your picture to talk with your partner about what is actually enough you know what do you need to put in place to know that you are covered and you do have enough and that can give you the the space and permission to also just enjoy your money because you know you have actually taken care of those foundational pieces of your financial stability and security so thank you so much Lind for your question this is a great question uh I really appreciate you asking it today if you would like to have your own question answered on one of these feelings and finances podcasts you just need to head over to our podcast page you're going to see a little icon for speakpipe that's where you can leave your name and your question I would absolutely love to answer your question on one of these podcast episodes thank you so much to my team for getting us started Ashley and cristelle and Lind getting us started with our first three questions on the podcast and I'm so looking forward to answering other questions listener questions questions from students in our future feelings and finances podcast episodes thank you so much for listening today [Music]

Channel: Money Nuts & Bolts

Views: 39

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Id: JR7nUSpPedE

Length: 9min 30sec (570 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 07 2024