10 Tips For Taking Your Kids To Church | The Catholic Talk Show

hey everybody welcome back to another episode of the Catholic Talk Show today we're going to be talking about how to get them kids to mask and not how just to get them to mess but how to have them enjoy going to mass and we're joined with Jordan Wildwood from everything Catholic we're going to tell you some ways to get your children more engaged in the mass so that they have a faith that sticks with them through the rest of their life spare the rods spoil the kid let's figure out how to do it [Applause] [Music] thank you all right Jordan welcome back hey thanks guys hey Jordan here hey very popular Jordan's keeping up there on the all-time guest list it's almost a permanent member of the table at this point I mean we got Brandon Vaught Steve wydenkoff and Jordan wadward are most free and our boys Keith Nestor too we can't forget he's been on yeah we have a couple of people who have been on twice there's only been a few have been on more than twice oh good point I feel very privileged thank you but we're also very privileged to have you but you know today we're talking about how to get kids to mass right yeah I always remember the saying that babies crying in church is the sound of a church that's going to continue to live on right when you and when you don't hear babies cry it means the church is dying yeah no crying the church is dying that's right and you know we're parents all of us have kids you are the priests right so you got you got to minister all these kids it's it's amazing and especially here at the Paris at Saint John Paul II in Nocatee like we have a ton of kids and young families coming to church and it's just really enjoyable to kind of see that Revival but there has to be a disposition pastorally in leadership for openness to to the children and and give them a sense that they belong to the church it's not just that they're getting drug to church I remember Lecrae the my my favorite Christian rapper but he talked about like how he was a drug baby and because his mom drugged him to church and it's like the sense of being you know coerced about your parents like forced into the car of the van and like against their will and you're taking them to church and it's like it's always a fight that's not that's not the spirit but I think once we once we create on a leadership level pastorally speaking a sense of openness to families and I remember talking to this mom in Publix and and we were having this great conversation she got little baby and she's like father I really don't feel comfortable I'm Catholic but I haven't been to church in a long time because I feel bad because my baby's gonna cry and I said well come to the noon Mass because it's the cry room mess everybody in the church has a baby and it does not bother me at all to hear babies crying it's it's more important to hear that than anything I have to say during a homily yeah you know and I think that that's important on the leadership level but knowing from you guys you're you're with your kids day in and day out you have to discipline them and you want to discipline them spiritually on top of all the other things behaviorally so how do you guys approach it I mean she'll like well you know I think one of the things that I hear all the time is people who you know I know who are ex-catholics or who like don't go to church anymore like yeah my parents used to drag me to church and I hated it and then as soon as I was 18 they didn't have to make me go to church they stopped going and that's yeah it was me too like I I broke my mom's practice of bringing me to church when I was 6 to 15 16 years old you know and it's like she almost gave up on the on the fight of like fighting me constantly to go but she prayed and suffered that for several years before I came back yeah she's here on Saint Monica she is that's why I wear my same Monica socks now one of the things but talking about that and think about that there's always a thing that in my mind my concept of parenting is you know you're raising kids right no you're raising adults they are children but you are raising adults you don't want these people who are entrusted to you to be children morally emotionally and functionally stunted as children the rest of their life you want them to be confident capable healthy happy adults yeah that's where we treat our children as extensions of self and it's like they almost as like an appendage it's like they they bring you a value yeah they're they're a side piece they're they're an ornamentation like oh I have children I have a dog I have the car right yeah they're not they're people individuals of themselves so a great way don't bestow your own dignity right they are dignity in itself so when you start treating them like adults and you give them a sense of the responsibility I'm not dragging you I'm not making you go I'm telling you why there's value to it I'm showing you and I'm teaching you the value so that when you're an adult my age or and wherever you are in your life there's still going to be something grounding comforting but also there's a real intellectual and spiritual connection not just a forced making kids go to you know church and what about you guys I love the way my my boy my boys boys school gets kids to go to mass they're really really good with boys and and what they do is they say okay well we've got mass and Silent reading during this time you guys can choose whatever you want to do so so they all go to mass you know it's really good and and they've helped us as parents develop an appreciation for Mass which I really appreciate about them uh shout out to Western Academy but um yeah I I think it I think it all goes back to the man of the house we've talked about this before we did a show on men uh we talked to a lady today his husband watched the show and really liked it too um and and and practicing your faith uh understanding how to ask your kids for forgiveness to in practice they see you doing it and they see this culminating every Sunday at mass and what I like to do is go out to lunch afterwards we went uh we went to dinner afterwards uh after Mass we went to the six o'clock mass Mother's Day and we all go out to dinner and we we celebrate after Mass you know and so it's just developing habits and also developing um you know your own way of doing that where you're celebrating something you know I mean this is this is something to be celebrated and then you're practicing your faith as well yeah meals meals after Mass is one of the best things I mean because then there's kind of you know children don't have a fully developed intellect yet so there's kind of a payoff right okay if I do this then there's the payoff for this and it becomes a tradition something they think of fondly so that there's it's the entire experience and not it's not just the solemnity and the Stillness of match which doesn't always fit with the kid's disposition and let me tell you it doesn't just work for kids it also worked for my stepdad because that's how my mom brought him into the Catholic church it was like after Mass we go have crumb cake and a bagel Jack's like I'm down next you know we're we're immersing them in the holy water like your youth pastors like how do we bring them in you know we have the pizza we do the fun activities and then we have prayer there it's definitely not something that you know you should say you need to go you know what I mean it's like you have to go uh my mom did that uh you know my dad didn't really play a part in helping me Foster an appreciation for Massey just went quietly and participated but uh yeah I was like you guys you know it's like once I went got 18 I just didn't have any need to go yeah you know Jordan you've got four four boys yeah right yeah let's go what's what's the mass attendance situation for the Wildlife Sundays can be tough they can be great um I think that that the best Sundays are the ones where we make a point that the most important thing we'll do all day is going to be mass and spending time together with the sacrament as a family and so we make sure that in the beginning of the day the very beginning of the morning that they know that's coming right because bringing it on the kids is gonna cause them to get all upset or or frustrated or even though it happens every single week they forget right so kind of setting the stage and then you know doing things like on the way to mass listening to maybe the readings or something like that or some soft music so that they're not all amped up on you know fast loud music I've got a couple DJs that like to sit in the back seat and request songs right so that way when they're walking into Mass they're kind of you know a you know a good speed and they're they're ready to go um and then we just bring lots of things for them to do um and you know just kind of keep them focused and keep them from running around and and that's for younger kids yeah so my boys I've got my oldest is 11 and then we got a four and a half year break and then we've got a uh six five and three year old and so the younger ones need to be occupied um otherwise they're gonna be acting crazy um so yeah that works doesn't we aren't always as intentional about that as we should be so sometimes it's a it's a bit rough yeah we were said um Good Friday liturgy right and we're there and Johnny was maybe two at the time and his cousin had brought his iPad and there's this uh Thomas the Train game right and they're playing this game and you keep tapping the button and the train goes faster well they had the volume down so we were like you know Stations of the Cross and we're right you know Jesus is on the cross and Johnny turned on the volume and he starts hitting this button and Thomas the Train in this English accent is going fast off fast stuff oh no so there's there's some dangers of bringing uh Implements of of uh distractions with children you know yeah you know there's always there's Cheerios and candies and junk all over there I've seen some I've seen some awesome resources out there in in kids hands at the parish and one in particular kind of reminded me of like a children's uh missile and it had like these spinning wheels and you could you can basically close the priest and what he's wearing and then it had just like a brief description of like you know Green ordinary time purple Advent you know and so like I I see her and she's sitting up front and she's like looking at me and doing all this stuff in the book and it's like coming up with creative plans of how we can move away from iPads and have like distinct things in our children's hands that could be a help to them almost like our missiles are and our our hymnals are to adults to create that helpful tool in the hands of a child that they can enter into the mystery of the celebration and the Liturgy it's important yeah I mean you've recently had a yell at me and Della cross yes I have and you're goofing off in the back of the Church of Our Lady of Guadalupe father Rich has this amazing ability where he can weave rebukes into his homily where no one else knows that it's happening except for years and you know when you think about the things in the catechism it's no laughing matter and you should stop laughing about it and you know or like if like the slides that he's going through is like you know and it's all about timing if we're not on God's time and the timing isn't right it's over with I'm like dude you're pulling double shift here man very impressive um how do you feel I mean does anyone how do you feel about you goofing off so let me tell you how I feel here's how you get children our sizes in there but um you know we're talking about kids crying in mass and distracted does anyone here really care if kids are crying in Mass everyone's self-conscious parents and a lot of parents when they have kids they're like I'm not going to mass and they will get out of going to mass the habit for years two three years until the kids stop does anyone care about that I don't I I had a lady come up to us at our uh Parish in DC and um and she came in she's just like you need to watch it with your kids like he's freaking two right like I mean I don't know what you want for me but yeah I'm not gonna stop coming to mass that's what I told her so you got to figure out a way to make this work for you yeah you know you know so some things that I I've seen and this is just based on like you know four years being here at the parish and having an attitude and a response toward the children that are crying where I've always worked it into my homily like always but thank you baby for that emphasis that you just put on that yeah and it's so good here you know like and it's it creates a moment of laughter but then also like employing other women to help parents like sometimes you know I have a I have a single mom that sits well she's not a single mom I don't think her husband comes to mass so she's there with four of her children up front by herself little ones and she's constantly having a discipline them but that she's also trying to pray because she needs to be built up in the spirit you know and in the word and receive the Eucharist in the disposition of reverence that needs help you need help like open open yourself up and interact don't be like the stranger danger but like Hey I'm and this is really cool so you know I think you guys know Teresa this is tease T's mom and um you know there was a poor woman she was going through hell in her personal life and I was walking with her for for a couple of months and um she had three children and they were very animated children but you knew that they were kind of also uh acting out of the stuff that was happening you know that was bad yeah and she was just so overwhelmed and she kind of like like kind of had like a little mental breakdown during the mass because the kids were acting up and I just looked at Teresa because she's just like a saint you know I'm like Bishop estebus did things like Teresa is a total say I believe I believe it too and I just looked at her and I'm like and I just like kind of glanced over and uh and she just shot over there and just helped mother these children and it was beautiful and they calmed down she gave him something to entertain them with and and that's the community response to the crisis that the child's going through sure so you know we may look at a baby crying and say you know oh come on kid like Get over like what are you doing you're like you're a little hungry that's what you're upset like no like this is a crisis for the child yeah you know like respond to the crisis be Collective about it be conscientious about it and and at the same time that child's going through that crisis so is the mom so is the dad yeah have a little bit of sensitivity that's super cool I know when we were this is another thing that I think really helps too with the kids is um when we lived in Nashville we went to St Philip Catholic Church Church in Franklin and the priest there at the time his name was father Bala and he was he was awesome the kids loved going to see him because he was so approachable you know he would if he wasn't celebrating and you were out in the narthex with crying kids he'd come out and he was The Franciscan so he had this hood on the back and he'd fill it with candy you'd pick up a kid and they'd go in and grab a little piece of candy out you know he was always you know had like little stuffed animals and things but it was just really fun he would he would take our youngest Benjamin and he'd just walk around the whole church he'd be like I want that baby and he just walked around and then the kids were like man I want to go see father Bala and it made it a lot easier to go to mass because he was there and they they had a connection with him so that's super important there is a charism to that you know like Father Peter Aquino Tico you know he's just like such an intimidating huge Nigerian man with his deep voice but he has this heart of like love and like a teddy bear like these kids just I we I was at my first Parish at Saint Elizabeth and these kids in the Gathering space I'd be preaching mass and they'd all be climbing up and they'd be running back to the Gathering space just to spend time with Father Peter which is really really awesome you don't want to see that I think in talking about this I think this highlights the need for churches to be more intentional about how they are welcoming children and having resources available because you can have all the prayer shawl Ministries and you can have all the soup kitchens and stuff but if you're not getting young people in your church your church is going to be dead with that generation the most important Outreach and that's right we've been driving with our Capital campaign it's like we're building out of Campus for one principal Outreach the Human family yeah we've got to make sure that we're ministering to our families what would it cost to church a couple hundred bucks to have some of those those guides some books some kids rosaries look even snack bags or whatever have them available make it a really intentionally welcoming place for children that would make such a difference and even if you never use them families would see that and say this place cares about the family you know it's like you guys know you guys know how much I love Phil you know he's like my sacristan volunteers like anything I need I just call Phil but you know like is he the one who brought us over the bourbon yeah okay it feels awesome but you know Phyllis also kind of goes through these like manic episodes like you know any kind of like hyper focuses on stuff and he starts getting upset and riled up and like you know he I see this uh there's a couple stories about Phil so we have legit candles I don't like the electric ones we have legit candles and I want them there and I told the kids there's no there's no cost on it like if a kid wants to light a candlelight a candle take a moment of prayer got the Mary statue in front of the Blessed Mother in St Joseph this morning I don't have any money on me so I didn't that's true this uh so this this kid you know his boy goes up and he's lighting the candle well you know it starts turning into like a couple candies yeah you know it's a kid got a lot of stuff going on so you know Phillip starts approaching this kid and he's in one of those those places and I know he's gonna like ream this kid so like as he's getting up to like yell at this kid I'm like Philip but Phil stops I'm like do not talk to that kid right now this kid in church you know and then you know the the other thing is like he's sweeping out the the uh the chapel area and there's like Cheerios all over the floor and stuff and he's like losing his mind I'm like thank God the kids are there it's fine so what we sweep up a little bit of Cheerios this is the home of all of us you know it's yeah like you said I think those things are really important to have that really intentional Outreach to the families um so that would be helpful to a lot of people now here's another thing you know having families what are some of the things to get to church on time because dude the the getting going to church with kids that's got to be so that's not that hard getting to church getting kids dressed so tough there is nothing that increases my internal temperature hotter than having to dress a child who does not want to get dressed and get them to church I mean I am my internal temperature is in the thousands of degrees finding shoes finding shoes it sucks like you're wearing mismatched socks doing one of them's dirty ones clean I don't care that's what's going on my kids have almost like a visceral response to fabric that's not synthetic clothes like it just irritates them beyond all beliefs so the church clothes are typically not made of that fabric and so like I've got one one of my kids number three it's like he'll turn into this heavy limp noodle when you're trying to put him in he'll just be like you know you're trying to get it it's just so tough sometimes playing the dead weight on yeah so I've got a little one Jude with the Limbaugh family shout out Megan Tyler but you know Jude one time because cause they've got they've got a ton of kids the Limbaugh's here and uh you know Jude just shows up with no shoes it's like and Meg just looks and she's like hey what's what's up I've done that I've done that I'm totally cool don't pull Moses on this man take off your sandals take off your shoes and come on in oh yeah but like honestly that's one of the reasons like I go to like 11 30 or 12 o'clock mass I've been specific because it's like it takes so much pressure off like get up it's like six you got enough time right you got six hours at the nine o'clock mass you'll get there at 11. yeah the nine o'clock mass I'm sorry is not feasible seven o'clock not I don't I don't think I don't think that we would make it if it was my own funeral for a seven o'clock mass you know so that's why our family mass is is noon yeah you know and then we have the kids as ushers we have kids that are electors that are developing the skill of public you know and then they feel like this is this is our church this is you know inviting kids into the Liturgy and in the ways that they can participate is super helpful too like I know for me I I don't remember if I was great about wanting to go to mass up until I was 10 but from 10 on I was an ultra server and I loved that I loved having that thing to do and in the Paris that I was in growing up we had you would kind of graduate into different ranks like we wore the Surplus the cast like everything and we'd have the cincher and it would change colors it's just like a karate belt right yeah and so we we started green we go to Red we do white and then like purple and gold were the big ones right so you're always trying to aim towards that oh cool and it was really cool surgical climber over here for me that worked like it was like something and if you get up here you get a pointy hat and we'll call it yeah but there were certain masses like I remember the Holy Thursday Mass was always the best one to serve because it was so different than everything else you know and then getting to play with the incense during the Homeland that's awesome every kid wants to have the incense yeah yeah being an altar server I was an ultra player it was it was great and you'd also get tips every now and again which is which is pretty cool funeral or wedding funeral or weddings yeah you like you you like doing funerals because like hey I'm getting paid for this but it's at the expense of someone's death so you felt a little bit bad about it about weddings though you're like this is great like you were like no Tim dude I got this one you got it you know don't you have baseball don't you have a game I think check your schedule like that was like your side hustle right it was being an ultra boy um but yeah getting 12 o'clock masses you know having kind of a children's oriented Mass even just the time frame I mean honestly you know everyone's always like well I don't want to waste the whole day and if I go to mass at 12 I get home in one what else are you gonna be doing that day you know I think it's great because again like that makes the day focused around math right that's the most important all we're doing today that's it you know and then we'll get something to eat afterwards then maybe take a Sunday nap and then it's time to start getting ready for school the next day yeah and that's that's the days oriented to that so I I love that but Saturday evening masses those are also pretty good too the vigil masses for families makes a lot of sense as well yeah yeah one of the reasons why I love the that noon Parish family mass is because it does flow into the afternoon and my hope is with the programming is you can have like two three hours of programming and like you said you have meals there at the church you have Fellowship you develop that sense of the kids relationships around their church around their faith in Christ and then you know you go home you take a nap you relax you have the family dinner Sunday evening and then you're you're already kind of order in the sense of starting your week you know the first day of the week is ordered by God and you're ordered by your family and you're starting out in those good family Dynamics you've reconciled with God you've reconciled with one another and we're starting a new a new week yeah so what are the comments we get a lot on on our you know YouTube channel or whatever to say your intro music we don't like it and you can tell it's an older individual like you're just I I know you're trying to go after young people with your intro music but I'm like wait a second okay this music hasn't been for young people since 1973 okay this is like Led Zeppelin or AC DC it's great we like it it's not for young kids and I think that brings up the point of people trying to make liturgies and things for kids when they have no concept of what kids are into and they're always a day late dollar short and they're the they married a certain age into the Widow of the next right so you got these adults trying to like make things for kids and like oh kids love I mean they really love doing that my name is Jesus and I like to rap right and kids are like dude you are the uncoolest thing I've ever seen in my life and I think what kids really want and I think this is something that I've seen in so many interactions with young people now we've been talking about younger children but let's start getting into maybe more teenagers and stuff yeah but they want is authenticity sure they want to know that you're not a hypocrite they want to know that what you say is what you actually do that's the biggest thing that turns off kids of that age is hypocrisy um and inauthenticity and when you start having a kids mass and it's you know some it's stuff that's obviously not for kids they don't want that kids respond more to traditional liturgy and mystery and things that they can't get in the world because look you're never going to make a TV show that's Catholic that's better than you know Marvel movies you're never going to make music that they like more than you know whatever it is they listen to nowadays I don't even know what they listen to trap or whatever right yeah you're not that's what they listen to right you're not going to make music like that in church right yeah you're not going to have what fetty WAP does the Liturgy it's not going to happen right um but so and when you try you just end up looking cringy you look cringy so what really I think is going to be the most helpful and father I know you probably know this from ministry as being authentic and showing the traditions of the church and something that really stands apart from what they can get everywhere else in the world for free that's being advertised one thing I like doing with uh my older kids is like I'll play Halo like I'll do a their lectio Divina and then we'll go through it and I'll say what you know what kind of stuck out with you you know and we just have conversations about it and so that's that allows me to be authentic about what I heard with her and that God spoke differently to her and and just be there with God together you know hallow has been very hopeful with with my relationship with my older kids it's it's been such a blessing because I've seen hallow go across my Parish with a lot of my families and using that on the way to church whether it's the rosary or whether it's meditations and it has been very helpful in respect to the Quality that they deliver it but it's not a quality where it's like they're trying to be something of the this kind of trend or generation they're revealing something that is beautiful and something that's inspired them that's ancient that's Transcendent the thing about Transcendence it's across it's across all ages and and it's applicable to one's life and to the point where you know the authenticity of delivery of the message that is understandable that's discernible people and and Carries truth with it that that appeals to every human heart no matter if it's a kid that's four years old or 44 years old or 94 years old it's going to cross through all generations going to bring us together and the interpretation of that what what's applicable in my personal life is going to be different for all of those generations and that's where that sharing and that Dynamic of of community development and family development is the joy of of sharing in the word of God yeah I think one of the things that we've found a lot of success with is and and I started doing this for a practical reason but it's kind of had a really nice unintended consequence and and it's we'll listen to we use the amen app from the Augusta Institute and we'll listen to the readings on the way to mass I do it more because I don't know that during mass I'll be able to hear it because I'm going to be wrangling some crazy kids but like our oldest who's 11 like he's going to be distracted by the younger ones too so he can listen to it as well and then they see that example there's so much I think that this is a good thing to remember for me as a dad like they're watching me they're watching like am I enthusiastic about going to mass am I preparing myself for mass or is it more just like oh let's just do it we got to get it over with and then their behavior is going to kind of be launching off of them right so you gotta you have to think about that you know and it's a good kind of gut check reminder for me because if I'm if we're rushing if we're late if I'm mad you know and goodness gracious like trying to get the kids in the car drives me nuts you know the car we need to be peace that's right exactly yeah but like taking that step back and being in the right frame of mind they pick up on that yeah my sister sent a meme like maybe I don't know like eight years ago um and it was like you know Mom preparing us to go to mass and it was like this kind of like you know a mom like the you know and then like like all peaceful looking and then like this monster you know like of like yeah it's like rainbow or something exactly like you know to get to get to mass and you know for me it's like I do remember when Mom was fighting us but I remember more prominently and this is what impacted me is my mom kneeling straight with their hands folding her eyes closed just taking a moment you know to pray before she had to smack my butt when I wasn't kneeling when I'm supposed to or doing what am I supposed she always took that time to like just lock into God and offer her prayers and preparation for Mass and and uh you know that that left a lasting impression on me so I remember that more than than the fighting um but having that disposition is like okay am I being authentic in relationship to mass or am I just forcing this on and proselytizing my children because proselytizing anybody never works yeah I see I'd see that sometimes in church when my kids are looking at me after I open my eyes I'm like dude you're weird bro dude what do you want Joe stop man well I think that's a really good point so there's so many things in your life subconsciously that you do exactly like your parents do you cook the same food you celebrate the holidays the same way you probably like the same sports teams you probably go to the same Parks or whatever there's all these things that your parents influence you on why wouldn't you think that the way that you behave in church is also how you kids are going to react right so if they see you kneeling you know when you walk in if they see you uh going to the to the Blessed Sacrament you know in the chat Apple if they see you you know praying and whatever they're going to emulate that right uh so being a visual they want that they want it they want to be oh kids want to be their parents and you got to give them a good visual example of what it means to be a Catholic and uh and like you said Jordan and again this goes back to the point we're making it's about authenticity you know if you're there and you're just like just dude just hit the prayer or whatever like that's they're not going to get the sense of the Sacred or the the desire or the peace or any of the things that the church promises and offers Transcendence yeah I think one of the things too like for parents this works for me um but just lower your expectations on what mass is going to be like right like and that's another part of the reason why like I like to listen to the readings on the way to mass sometimes mass is just about being in God's presence and I'm not going to pick up a lot from the homily I'm not going to pick up a lot from the reading but I'm there and I'm soaking something in you know and my kids are there and they're soaking things in too and so like I I can tend to be a bit of a perfectionist and if Mass doesn't happen exactly the way I want it to happen I'm frustrated just let that stuff go yeah and we rolled out a seven week prayer preparation for our Capital campaign and we utilized lectio Divina as a part of it in Germany and one of them that's super cool yeah it really turned out beautifully um but equipping the people of God to approach the word in a very uh spiritual and infilling manner because to your point Jordan you know one thing that I learned on my journey when I was traveling around doing Mission work overseas is I may be in a place where I don't understand the language yeah and I don't understand perhaps a delivery even in the language of English in another region of the world but I can be attentive spiritually to discern what is God saying to me in this in this Liturgy of the word what is God communicating in this Mass to me particularly today where I am right now my walk with Christ like what is he saying exercising that ability um even if you are at a church where you understand every everything that the that the pastor is saying or the priest is saying the homilist that's great but at the same time you want to be listening in the spirit you know I'm I'm I like how you described it it's like I'm in the presence of God he's manifesting himself in his word he's manifesting himself in the source and Summit of our faith in the Eucharist and and in the community life where two or more gathered so if he's manifesting in this way what am I receiving today you know no matter what's going to happen it could be you know a deacon fumbling around in the in the sanctuary that makes you laugh um it could be it could be other things that could be somewhat distracting the music you know or the priest tries to get up and do a rap to sort of like a puppet show for the kids you know it's kind of strange but it's like you know I'm not gonna let that get in the way of me receiving yeah what are you trying to say God puppets I know this is terrible but you suffered and died for us and I will do the same for you so I want to move on to what do you do when you have kids who really don't want to go they're starting to get to the age where they can make a conscious effort they say I don't believe in this I don't want to go I'm rejecting this because you know kids when they get to 13 14 15. that's tough you know they're trying to figure out who they are their body's freaking out their mind's freaking out they're in such flux they don't know who they are and they don't know what they're going to be and they're trying to figure that out and a lot of times that's when they reject Faith right what do you do when a kid says I don't want to go to mass because this is stupid you can't make me yeah you know how do you do you just say too bad get in the car we're going yeah I mean sometimes you have to take that approach but that's not always the that's kind of like an angry Last Resort there's other ways to do it so what are some of the strategies that for parents out there listening who you know maybe they have a a young teen young adult who's just doesn't want to go anymore you know I'm sitting here listening to you queuing this question but I'm thinking about the three of you and you guys not suffering that with your children and I think the reason why is because of your role as father and how enthusiastic you are about your faith and all the statistics from that Swiss study back in the like late 90s or whatever or early 2000s that that articulate the importance of the role of the father in relationship to the spiritual life of their family and how the retention of the practice of the children are retained at like the 90 percentile level which is huge um so that's why we that's why we can see that in your family and your children not bucking the system I think that's one thing but two um I'm real proud of of Kim you know who I work with every day and and the way that she approached her 13 year old child in her adolescence and you know fighting against getting confirmed and it's like okay here we are we're in this we're in this situation where it's like Lord have mercy you know she doesn't want to be confirmed like I took her out we sat down we had a long conversation and and um but ultimately it comes down to like love and openness and authenticity with this person that's that's trying to express their independence trying to express their intelligence and and they're looking all the stuff and they're trying to reconcile it so let's just give it time let's give it time and what she expressed was look I undertook a responsibility for you when I had you baptized that I would raise you in the practice of the faith you are still my responsibility until you leave this house and you you take on you know your own responsibilities you know you're still in my home I have a responsibility for you and you're going to come to mass it's it's not a it's not a point of argument this is what this is what uh is is is how this is going to play out and you know as as times come on like you know I I see her over there kind of listening but if I make eye contact with her forget it she'll be late you know so it's just exactly you know so it's a 13 year old yeah but now she's now she's 16. you know and I just see her spiritual journey like it's okay you're trying to wrestle with all these things as a kid I do believe in the reformed order by the way on a tangential point we need to go back why Whoever thought it was a great idea to confirm adolescent kids well yeah I think it's so important that you bring that up because a lot of times the Battleground for this fight between parents and kids the Battleground has fought on the confirmation field and like I remember I mean I'm to be honest here I probably shouldn't say this but when I was getting confirmed I was like 16. you know my buddies would sneak out the back and go smoke weed in the parking lot during the confirmation classes I wasn't there for it I got kicked out yeah I mean they're just like what are we gonna do with them you're talking about the Seminary or what are you talking about a confirmation class well the thing was I spent a lot of time with Sister Anne too so I'm not gonna cast in any judgment yeah I was in trouble a lot too you know like the lady was uh God bless her heart uh Dolores she was 82 3 years old and I was just like this is dumb and and then they actually got me I got confirmed because I came back the second year and they're like like Catholic graduation and that's that that really most kids have the son this is Catholic graduation and that's the last time a kid will step in church until they're like 25 in a lot of cases if they ever come back yeah I made my last Sacrament my mom made me do this last one but I don't really care I want to be out partying and you know chasing girls or doing whatever the kids do or watching Tick Tock or you know expressing their gender as an animal whatever it is kids these days do which God knows and but it's confirmation okay I did this last thing mom don't ever ask me again don't ever expect me to show up again Dad I'm out right Catholic Confirmation as graduation is terrible number one theology in practice it just doesn't help the kids um that age you know and then kids go to college I think out of uh I can't remember the exact number but in the study that of people who left the Catholic faith like something about 90 of them leave the faith during their college Years between 18 and 24. that is that is the most critical window but you know everyone's always like well you need to reach 18 24 year olds but you know stitch in time saves nine right good luck converting a kid who's 19 years old you know doing keg stands at college that he should be going to church not going to happen getting a 12 year old to understand why it's important to go to church so that he's not doing keg stands and bumping lines of cocaine instead of going to church well that's probably a little bit easier of a task right right yeah yeah and not to say that you know college campus ministry doesn't work right so you know some of our friends and and Father Tim holida and and father Josh swallows and uh Mike father Mike Nixon and Qin and all these guys that got really like hit hard in the power of the spirit during their college Years because of the witness of the ministry that was going on in their college campus by people that were like three four five six years either senior you know and like drawing them into a retreat and kind of confronting them you know like like only a peer could these things have inroads for sure but I see I see what you're saying too at the same time they were like the fertile soil they were the they were the seeds that were thrown on the good soil you know but a lot of these kids they're going to college and they're the seeds that were thrown on the Stony path right and and it's like that's statistically we're setting ourselves up for failure in that in that respect like so we need to be more conscientious with how we begin the formation with children I talk about this with parents all the time and we're talking about children as an appendix or like as a side piece or an extension of self you know if we're not raising our children in that practice from the time that they are babies where they're learning how to self-soothe and they're learning how to uh uphold a certain behavior and responsibility um you know we're failing them as individuals and then we can't expect that if we aren't upholding that responsibility as in in the infancy stage in child development how are we ever gonna do anything of positive value when they're now what teenagers or now we're gonna say like consistency yeah yeah and it's like we we can't leave it to the children to make their choices if we left it to the children to make their choices they're going to be sticking their finger in the outlet and you know and and burning their hand and and and you know when I was when I was like 24 I had my first house uh you know I got out of an apartment and I was like I'm an adult I can do anything I want now so I got those like those really thin like angel wing cookies and I bit through a whole stack of them I was like I'm a dog I could do it but I also took a fork with me to Home Depot and I took a bunch of sockets I was poking the fork and all my this is so therapeutic and cathartic all right I've been wanting every kid wants to do that I remember I went to the store and I'm like I'm gonna do this if kids are watching the show right now do not they were not plugged yeah yeah but no I think I really like the point that you made about out is the consistency like you never really care about what your kids are doing with their faith life and then when they leave at 18 you're like how dare you yeah we need to get you back to the faith well dude you have no working materials to work with there's no basis to even bring them back like I said it's the parable of the the sower that is soil that will not accept seed because you've never tended it you've never put nutrients into this soil that will be able to grow later in life and there is a mentality in our generation though of like raising kids where it's like well I'm going to just let them choose yeah for sure you know and it precedes us a little bit but like you know what is that mentality yeah I know for me one of the things I'm sorry go ahead I know I don't care you go ahead I know for me one of the things that um that that so I don't have my oldest is 11 so we're not quite there yet but um one of the things that we're trying to do is with all the changes that are going on their body and their mind from you know when they hit puberty all the way through college the church can be that constant you know and so there's all this chaos and change happening trying to figure out who you are but this thing stays the same and it's one of the beauties of our faith is its Globe it's Global it's Universal it's you go to this Catholic Church here or this one across the the country or this one in another country it's the same mass that's being celebrated and you can return to that and it's always a pla it's an anchor it's a place of constant stability and so having that in there I know that that helped me when I was in college because there was a period of time where I was playing rock and roll I was kind of getting into some stuff and I remember kind of hitting this bottom point where I was like I craved being at Mass I just needed that and and it was there and I went back to it and that was a huge turning point for me that's huge yeah I think there's a I think a lot of I've got some friends that have you know college grads and they're frustrated because they they don't know what they want to do after spending whatever amount of money and I think I think what we're talking about in in educating children and bringing them up in the faith in the intentionality that's required that sacrifices required the time that it's going to take you to do that it's not an easy bake oven right yeah John's terminology and I think a lot of people think well that's just what you do you just go to church and I look back at us going to church when I was little it's just what you did and I remember like coming back to the faith I remember as a child like hearing God talk to me and not knowing what was going on and there was nobody in my life to help guide me through that to build me up in that right that's a beautiful Point dude and I was uh I was preaching at the mission in San Diego de Alcala a big shout out uh Father Peter mcguine who's the Rector out there um and Peter Escalante who was director when I was there but I was preaching and I saw this little four-year-old kid this little girl stepped up on the on the uh nailer and she's locked in on me right when I start the mass dude and she does not let up like looking watching everything that I'm doing and she listened to every single word and I noticed her because she's just locked you know yeah and then um after the mass I'm out the side door where you greet everybody and I'm greeting each person mainly adults and then all of a sudden this little girl is like standing there so I knelt down and face to face and her mom said you know my daughter would not allow me to go home without her coming to talk to you and uh I knelt down and and I said sweetie what's on your mind what do you have to share and she said um father during mass you were speaking directly to me right and I said I said sweetie did you feel in your heart that I was speaking like just to you and she said yeah I said well that was the Holy Spirit that was God speaking to your heart and I said I want you to remember something that whenever you come into the church God is speaking to your heart and you got to listen huh because he wants your heart to feel the way just you like you are right now he's speaking to you he loves you and uh she wraps her arms around me gives me a big hug you know and it was just such a moving experience because it's it's God doing something in the midst of the church manifesting himself once again and you know we as adults me as a priest we get to witness that you know we get to witness that when our children receive an inspiration because we're forming them to say God speaks in the midst of the church you know let them speak a word into you that Rouses your spirit that lifts up your heart you know and it's it's beautiful to see that yeah Ryan I'm going to ask you a question what would you do if one of your kids came up to you one day it's dead I don't believe in God how would you how would you handle that oh Leo did that to me one time Leo did that yeah and I was like okay well you probably don't want to be here yeah that doesn't mean you don't want to believe that you don't believe in God that just means you don't want to be here and he's like oh [Laughter] so yeah that's the that's my uh my only experience with that but uh let's say when they get older though they say you're like that I don't know this isn't for me how how do you well it's about listening to them and where they're coming from all of this is that right like uh Joe my wife and Joe you know where it's our first Pancake you know he's going through this you know so there's all this stuff right and and they just been going at it especially when I'm away and you know so I sit down and talk to him about it and you know and you know there is a bit of that where he's like you're not here you know and I'm like we could just talk on the phone you know but but it's I I don't uncover that by by saying you did something wrong I'm gonna punish you get it right next time it's like this is coming from somewhere I it's my duty and responsibility to find out where it's coming from right I understand how Grace works and how all that stuff works fortunately so I know that I can't convince him that there's a guy but I can't convince him of his own you know feelings towards that his own rationality towards that I can help him understand where that's coming from and navigating that I think that's what your responsibility as a parent not you're wrong there is a God you need to go to like all that stuff is just it it's it's laziness it is laziness spiritual laziness my grandmother whom I love and who was always a Beacon of Faith for me but she had this magnet on the on the refrigerator that I hated and I did wind up throwing out because it's just like it's just a terrible mentality but it's like God said it I believe it that settles it you know and a lot of times we parent that way too and and we're like you go to church that's what you do that settles it like that's not a great argument you know like there's more to that right and there needs to be more to that yeah if Saint Peter our first pope is expressing in the scriptures to us be prepared at any given moment to give testimony for the reason you believe like yeah we need to be we need to be disposed to say this is why ask yourself yeah like why do you go and if you if you can't answer that question like look into it like really develop a sense like this is why I practice my faith you have no excuse now we got YouTube we got the YouTubes right I mean there's like no excuse you can find anything you can you know if your kid comes to you and says you know they don't believe in God why should they could you answer that for yourself could you can you really articulate why you believe in God why do you think God is real yeah and if you can't answer that question when you're talking to yourself how would you ever answer to a kid you're not going to convey it to anybody right I mean it's it's just like it's any it's anything else it's like your profession you're a lawyer right well you know you had to go to law school you have to understand this you have to think that the legal system works and that you're a part of it right and so you you can give testimony on why you're a lawyer right you give testimony on why you're helping people you know for you know insurance or something and you like it right if you don't have that desire if you don't have that inside of you it's not going to be conveyed to a child yeah how can you give what you don't have right you know now talking about giving and things that we have Jordan has brought some stuff that's really super cool that's what I always look forward to every show yeah Jordan Jordan's like our Christmas really cool things here for for kids now this first one I wanted to talk about because I think this is a great thing to do for kids and this is one of the biggest tips that I have for parents and it's one I've always done explaining to kids what's going on in math why is the priest wearing that why is that there why is that candlelitting not this one it's interesting and if you get kids interested they're gonna be paying attention so this right here yep what is that Jordan because I know about this and this is super cool this is cool yeah so it's a it's a new new item that we're carrying in the store um and it's it's the Holy Mass and it's made by uh this group called the building blocks of Faith but they use Legos right so like my kids love Legos I'm always stepping on them they hurt like crazy but they're put into these really cool pictures to illustrate the book and it's all about the mass and the different parts of the mass but with Legos right so it's super cool yeah I don't know why we're laughing then it goes down across is sneaking in on your frame but this is exactly this is exactly what we were talking about just a minute ago you know like when the kids can be at mass and it's really cool because it's got like Lego investment this is Kevin and Mary O'Neill and I've talked there they're great people and they this high quality they're using these building blocks yeah right they're not Lego they're bad guys right this is the Jesuit approach of evangelization right here I mean you're meeting the kids where they are culturally appropriated right yeah they're building Legos they love Legos I'm hoping I have this contact that mentors the main contact of Lego Europe and I really want to John Paul II Lego for the Lego room it's like a massive sized jp2 and then the kids can go into that to be destroyed yes yeah seriously you gotta glue that together he's such a rookie but like Lord Business you got to glue it together right the quality paper you know the storytelling like I'm looking at the Ark of the Covenant yeah all built in place like a graphic novel too which kids love and there's a lot of these books it shows them the order of the match yeah I think this one so like all of my boys would love this like even the ones that can't read they just love to look at the pictures obviously my 11 year old would read it and he would love that he's real into a lot of those uh it's really good yeah the books that are so bad look at the Sacred Heart here that's cool and also kids love Lego sets and the creativity that they've done here I mean look at the look at the Divine Mercy oh wow check that out even see that yeah Mercy they'll probably start building their own like mass at home with their legacy no they also have like mask kits too that you buy the actual building blocks I gave that to uh Amy and Mark moles where I gave that to their to their son Elliot who's like one of our altar servers here now they also have same group puts together this one right yeah so this one is the Mysteries or a pocket guy to the Holy Rosary so this is a short one but it just goes through the Rosary in it same kind of thing you know it focuses on that graphic novel approach using Legos and uh this would be a great thing for kids to follow along with while they're saying the rosary goes through all the different Mysteries and helps unpack those so super cool and they also have a kit that you can make a rosary out of Lego so where can they get these two things yeah these two books are on everything catholic.com just go straight there and you'll you'll find them so I mean in all reality if you want anything Catholic it is on everything Catholic and there is some incredible stuff on here for babies for kids books devotionals Home Goods fragrances you know we always we really got into the chrism uh this last show which is awesome so if you use the code talk t-a-l-k at everythingcatholic.com you will be able to save 15 off of everything like this this Lego book and these things like that that's cool what else you got for us yeah so this one's kind of in the same vein um this is a uh Mass ring that goes to the different parts of the mass great thing for kids to follow along with and each each different card has just a simple picture with an explanation on the back and it goes from the starter mask to the end of mass and this one's made by another one of our vendor Partners Catholic Family cray they have several awesome items on everything catholic.com but this is one of my favorites and my six-year-old loves this he's always got in his hand when we got a mass then you're leaving these with us too correct yep leaving them with you yeah so these are kind of that's kind of like what you're talking about it's almost like an order of the mass or a missile yeah the little flipbook style and we've got other uh Catholic Family yeah we've got other items on the store from the same vendor we've got one that unpacks the rosary we've got a really cool paint by sticker that has different images that you might see in mass or images from the faith that you can use different stickers like the responsorial psalm thinking of uh King David with the harp yeah then what's his head on the back it has the explanation it has the explanation right yeah so I mean instead of an iPad you know maybe maybe drop a couple bucks this is cheaper than an iPad and I you know I I definitely use uh you know eye bravery and like different digital offerings like hot Halo like Hallows phenomenal but there's there's something too of just having no distraction no other correlation with your device and like this is exclusively for prey this is exclusive it's just that type of heart yeah it sets it apart and it should be like I love there's a clear difference when I pray the Liturgy of the Hours with how or or um or the eye bravery and then actually having my bravery in my hand yeah you know there's there's a distinction I'm grateful for the services because it helps me because life is crazy and it's like I need to pray my evening prayer I need to pray a daytime prayer it makes it super convenient I'm really really grateful yeah but you know to have these things in the kids hands during mass is really really important so I see that you got this too and this looks like is this your Rosary Ryan yeah it's uh it's uh one I can chew on what is that Jordan yeah yeah so we got two rosaries from choose life which is another new vendor that we've just had to the store these are silicone rosaries so these are great for babies um so is it choose like c-h-e-w-s right so it's a chew toy but it's also whatever it is cool and they're really neat you know like they're they're chewable they're totally safe to choose grab this one right here [Laughter] is that good yeah you like it sister's better than the thing uh [Laughter] speaking of Mike where's our candle right here right there I thought a bicycle Schmitz is always great for us or know this so uh choose life they're a great company they do all kinds of things for children and then they also their profits help support pro-life Ministries great company we love the the owners of the company beautiful good people um but this is really cool I mean this is a great gift for baptisms a great gift for birthday really quality uh you know for Easter baskets or Christmas things for you know little kids um that's gross so big right like it's like losing it is not gonna happen right we're breaking it yeah we're breaking it yeah well and we had we had for years like the multi-colored big chunky wooden bead rosaries but those things like they become a weapon a little too easily doesn't get hurt um and you know what they start to get some teeth and chew on it there's little things falling off into their mouth and this isn't going to do that it's got these like raised Nubs on the cross that are great for babies who are teething and things like that Isn't that cool like the suffering of teething is met by the cross yeah like that's beautiful the same Apollonia model yeah yeah all right so what are these yeah the last two are again books these are crinkle books from uh be a heart um another one of our favorite vendors and these these would be for little babies to chew on to play with um great to bring to mass this one is the baby's first devotional it's just got a few pages it kind of goes through some different Catholic images uh there's the Monstrous right there it's really pretty Divine Mercy race yep and then there's uh baby's first story of Saint Francis so this one goes through Saint Francis and has some similar uh fun kid-friendly pictures and these are awesome because you know you could toss them in the washing machine if they get dirty I love it yeah and they're just fun for the kids they're tactile same Francis and the Wolf the cardinalale again all this stuff is available on everything cathode.com if you use the code talk t-a-l-k you save 15 on all this and they have a category right in the top menu for babies and kids so you can go right to all this stuff but you can also check out all the stuff for you know adults so they have great rosaries apparel uh devotionals Home Goods all this stuff but if you're looking specifically for this kid stuff go to the babies and kids section use the code talk say 15 everything catholic.com hey what are these here yeah so the last thing I want to show is just um again from be a heart uh who we just looked at the crinkle books from these are Rattlers oh those are nice yeah so these are fun Jesus and Mary again for the little guys or little gals um fun to chew on fun to play with these would be great uh [Laughter] this would be awesome for babies and then if for kids that are a little bit older we've got a Holy Family Doll set here too which is cool so we got Mary and then I love Joseph true story well you kind of looked like you during coven too back of your leg yeah so Joseph he's got little tools too I love this Workshop that's good very cool my boys like that one and then and then baby Jesus here too and these are from being hurt these are beer heart as well they made really cool stuff great quality material I love what you do with everything Kathy that you're buying stuff from Catholic vendors you're not buying stuff off of Amazon and just you know it's just made by whomever to you know for making money we have to support each other you know we've got to support each other in entrepreneurial efforts and I love what you're doing and we get to meet a lot of these families or the different creators behind the brands and they're awesome people and they've got a real heart for this stuff and so it's fun to get this into the hands of other people feed my sheep do you love me yes I do Jesus I should keep rattling Jesus yes uh Jordan it's always awesome to have you on I mean you know you're one of us you know your your father you have so much insight into the you know how you're raising your kids but then everything that you do with everything Catholic super cool stuff that's really helping parents like us have stuff to you know instructors like me too to be able to have this on hand to be able to you know pass on to our family yeah you got to get this stuff for your kids big shout out to my mom's Ministry because my mom's Ministry at the parish they're at every single baptism they put together a basket or like a little gift bag for every single family and it's stuff like this and they could say 15 on elements for that basket by going to everything catherine.com and using the code too that Mom's Ministry I also want to give a shout out to our sponsor we talked about them in this episode Hollow so if you go to catholictalkshow.com Hollow you can try out the app for free and it really is the best Catholic app out there it has so many resources it has prayer guides it has a new Bible feature they have uh new group features they have Parish features coming up they got a lot of really new um awesome features they're adding to it and it keeps growing every day over a billion prayers have been said through this app uh it's the number one Catholic act for a reason I literally use it every single day I'm not just telling you like hey they sponsored so buy it you know you know every day you know it's it's it's that kind of thing that you can incorporate your life and use technology in a positive way instead of you know in the negative ways that technology too often is used so true so go to catholito.com forward slash Hollow and another technological way that you could really look into some cool stuff that's happening through new evangelization is my little sane Adventures yeah you know it's a wonderful way for kids to Adventure with the Saints in a beautiful creative way and you know the impact of evangelism realization and looking to how we can influence our kids from you know an early age and catechize them and introduce them to the mysteries of our faith and the way that that's played out in the Saints lives I know for me having the book on on the Saints and as a kid looking through that book and getting to know Saint Anthony getting to know Saint Francis was very important well now the animation that we can do with technology is next level and I mean it's phenomenal yeah little city Adventure is a really cool app I mean it's basically a catechetical tool for kids in the form of an app it's got games I mean you know Bible story apples at a snake and having your kids learn about you know I've played that every game and I have enjoyed that game were you any good at it that was okay yeah I mean that's I've man I smoke those uh yeah I know it's a great app it's got five star rating on the App Store it's for kids ages I'd say about four to eight or nine yeah you know it's right in that age when they're going through their you know first confession first Holy Communion uh and it's an app that you can feel good about them using so if you go to littlestaneadventures.com little sandadventures.com yeah yeah thanks for joining us today it's always a joke thanks for hanging out with us even though we're a bunch of big kids Jordan what a pleasure it's always great to have you at the house and have some fellowship so as we continue to go forward make sure that you're subscribing giving us a thumbs up that helps us out tremendously and make sure you're sharing this content we're on all the social media platforms Instagram Facebook Twitter and we're continuing to spread the good news of the Catholic Talk Show and you help us every time you do stuff like that so God bless you and to our patrons out there thank you for supporting the financial components of making the show available to the markets that we're in and we wouldn't be able to do this without you so if you're considering becoming a patron of the show go to patreon.com forward slash Catholic Talk show or even better go to our website catholictalkshow.com forward slash patreon and we've got amazing tears and some cool gear to send your way to say thank you in between time let's pray for one another and continue to build up the mystical Body of Christ for we are one body in him who loves us who's joined us together God bless you see you next week [Music] foreign [Music]

Channel: The Catholic Talk Show

Views: 15,303

Keywords: Catholic, Catholic Podcast, Catholic Talk Show, Ryan Scheel, Ryan DellaCrosse, Father Rich Pagano, Catholic Radio, Catholic TV, Catholic Show, Matt Fradd, Mike Schmitz, Robert Barron, Catholic Answers, Catholic Stuff You Should Know, Bishop Barron, Breaking In The Habit

Id: Dufsr3ig1EM

Length: 64min 43sec (3883 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 24 2023