- Soon it's gonna be all
that you can eat or drink, is just water. Delicious, delicious, filling water. (slurping) If you're like most people,
you want to eat a healthy diet, full of foods like granola, fruit juice, diet soda, and turkey bacon, except, as it turns out,
those foods, among others, are not as good for you
as you once thought. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Here are 10 healthy foods that
turned out to be unhealthy. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Number 10 is margarine. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) But I Can't Believe it's Not Butter. Allow me to have this
yellow paste that was made in a laboratory.
(laughing) Butter was declared
public enemy number one, in the 1950s, by heart doctors, as well as fitness
fanatics, because this pure, unadulterated source of saturated fat was going to lead us
all to an early grave. So science came to the rescue
with the magic of margarine, where hydrogen is added to vegetable oils, to make a solid known as
partially-hydrogenated oil, which was supposed to be the healthier alternative to butter. Now while there was an early
reduction in heart disease thanks to margarine,
studies have since shown that industrial trans fats were associated with a 34% increase in
death, of its consumers, from heart attack, stroke, and diabetes. And the most disturbing
thing is that margarine technically isn't even a food, and yet it can be found
in many processed foods and grocery stores. So while I'm not suggesting
that you take a bath in a tub of melted butter, make sure you check the
label before you buy. Number nine is granola. Mmm, that crunchy
goodness is gonna kill ya. Once upon a time, granola was
the healthiest thing to eat since sliced bread, which as it also turns
out is very bad for you. You would think that dried
fruits, nuts, and seeds, combined into a bowl or formed into a bar, would help you climb the
highest mountain and yodel. And it might, but if you don't
actually climb a mountain, then you just consumed a
crazy amount of calories. The health-food granola that
you're used to, is really not healthy, since it's
typically made with butter, shortening, and or sugar. And it's often an excuse
to cram in chocolate chips, sugary fruits, and yogurt covering, so the average serving can
have as much as 400 calories. Just keep in mind that there
are healthier granola options, but instead of going
for a misleading tsunami of sugar and fat, just go
for the original cast member, a handful of raw nuts. When I get hungry, I
just eat some walnuts. (imitates crunching sound)
Healthy. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Number eight is fruit juice. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) (slurping) Aah, fruity. Wait, what? Not everything that comes
off a tree is healthy, because while fruit juice certainly packs a lot of vitamins,
minerals, and antioxidants, it's also just a glass full of sugar. Juice that you squeeze
yourself from an orange that you hand-picked off an organic tree, is certainly better than a
supermarket variety juice pumped full of added sugar, preservatives, and other chemicals meant
to taste like fruit. (slurping) Tastes like sugary death. The truth is that juice
is just the liquid essence of the fruit, without all
the healthy stuff like fiber, and it allows you to consume the calories of up to five oranges or
apples, without feeling full. Now we all know that liquid
calories from booze and soda are bad, but the same
rules apply to juice, since they don't provide a filling effect and cause a rapid blast
of sugar into the blood, as well as insulin, which
is a hunger hormone, so you actually end up eating even more. You hear that? That's a whole lot of parents
slapping fruit juice boxes out of kiddies' hands. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Number seven are energy bars. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) there was once a time when every gym had an army of
energy-bar-munching zombies, convinced that they
would get six-pack abs, tighter buns, and sweeter pecs, if they just supplemented
their routine with a PowerBar. These compact miracle
meals provided athletes with the fuel that they
needed for greatness, aka calories, to sustain
their extreme workouts. But for the average consumer watching TV, it meant higher numbers on the scale. I've eaten 40 of these bars. Am I supposed to be heavier now? The problem is, many of
these bars are marketed as healthy snacks, and contain
as much sugar as a candy bar. So you might as well just have a Snickers. At least it'll actually taste good. Even the sugar-free or
low-carb protein bars typically use artificial
sweeteners for flavor, and cause sugar cravings,
which leads to weight gain. So I'll just pass on
that protein bar, bro. While we're passing on
that, can you spot me, man? 'Cause I'm trying to get a swell on. Number six is diet soda. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) News flash to all you ordering
a double bacon cheeseburger and a Diet Coke, one does
not cancel-out the other. In fact, it may actually be worse for you than a regular coke. Diet sodas typically have zero calories, thanks to their artificial sweeteners, and are a smarter choice
for people with diabetes. But there is nothing
nutritionally substantial in these fizzy,
sort-of-sweet-tasting drinks. What they do have are possibly
carcinogenic food colorings, tooth-enamel-eroding
flavors and additives, and the sweeteners like
aspartame can create elevated risks of heart disease, stroke, and type-II diabetes. And if the risk of death
isn't enough of a draw, diet soda also alters the
bacteria in our stomachs, that create glucose intolerance, which can lead to weight gain and obesity, which kind of defeats the
purpose of a diet soda. Double cheeseburger and extra large fry, oh, and a diet soda. I'm on a diet. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Number five is couscous. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) I only eat couscous 'cause
it doesn't harm any animals. I don't care if it tastes
like mother nature's fart. The exotic and healthy-looking couscous is so clever, all dressed
up like one of those healthy grains like barley,
spelt, and buckwheat. But spoiler alert: it's just white pasta with clever marketing. That's right, suckas. Couscous is just little balls of semolina, which you find in cheap spaghetti, and is used as filler in meat stews in places like North Africa. Sure, the texture resembles
the grains beloved by vegetarian hippies, but
a cup of plain couscous contains 176 calories and 36 grams of carbs, which is about the same as many pastas. So don't fool yourself into
thinking it's a health food. And if tiny balls are
your preferred texture, might I suggest quinoa,
and other superfood grains that couscous is merely
trying to impersonate. Couscous, more like nope nope. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Number four is turkey bacon. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Okay, this one personally devastated me, because I used eat
nothing but turkey bacon. Bacon is so dang delicious,
there is actually a United Church of Bacon, that substitutes their
faith in a higher power with faith in the higher flavor
of greasy meaty goodness. Pork belly bacon is as
unhealthy as it is delicious. Because of the high fat and sodium, increases your risk of high
blood pressure and stroke. So the poultry cartels saw an opening and created turkey bacon
as a healthy alternative. And boy did we eat it up! Even though turkey bacon is
kind of rubbery or leathery, and either too dry or too soggy. But because we think it's healthy, we tend to eat more of it. But turkey bacon is still processed meat, treated with mountains of
sodium, artificial colors, sodium nitrates, and still
has plenty of saturated fat. Now turkey bacon is still
a healthier alternative, but with only slightly
less fat and calories. You might as well just go
for the full pork bacon, just don't go wild hog. Number three is coconut oil. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) But man, I clean with
it, I put it in my hair, and I drink it. What are you doing to me? Be wary of any superfood where
marketers claim it's healthy, especially when it has the
word oil in it, which generally just translates into high fat. The coconut is indeed a miracle fruit for keeping tropical cultures
alive, even in drought. Its fiber is used for rope for fishing, its meat, called copra,
that feeds animals, fuel lanterns, and is where
coconut oil comes from. Coconut oil does have photo-protective and antibacterial properties,
but it still has 115 calories and 12 grams of saturated
fat per tablespoon. Mmm, leave that coconut uncracked. I think I'll pass. Saturated fat creates
low-density lipoprotein, or LDL, which is the
bad kind of cholesterol. So its saturated fat content, at 82%, compared with 63% for butter, 50% for beef fat, and 39% for pork fat, coconut oil is in some
ways the worst for you. I think I angered a lot
of people with that one. Don't be throwing coconuts at me, man! They kill you. Number two are veggie burgers. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) Just like turkey bacon but less meaty, veggie burgers are, in theory, supposed to make summer
barbecues a little healthier, if you ignore potato chips,
corn, and keg stands. The problem is that patties
don't grow on trees, so they must be bound together to create the burger texture, which often means unhealthy fillers like gums,
yeast extract, and corn starch. The actual veggie content is often low, and they can be loaded
with bloat-inducing soy, salt, fat, and preservatives
for long shelf lives, which hardly makes them a health food. A vegetarian meal is generally
healthier than grilled meats that become carcinogenic
when put to a flame. So if you're going veggie burger, choose brands offering mostly vegetables, whole grains, and legumes
like lentils and beans, that can provide fiber,
vitamins, and minerals. Otherwise you could just
be eating veggie death. And number one is sushi. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) I can't have sushi now either, man? That's it, I quit, it's my favorite. Blue zones in Japan, where
people live past 100, attribute their longevity to
a diet of raw fish and rice. But if they ate Western-style sushi, like a deep-fried California roll, they'd die young and
beautiful just like us. Many of the fish found in
traditional sushi meals contain lean protein and
anti-inflammatory omega 3's. But spicy tuna rolls are
loaded with enough mayonnaise for one to one and a half tuna sandwiches. Then there are the
sauces, particularly soy, which is sodium city, and is
ubiquitous in sushi meals, and grossly overused
by Japanese standards, so you can't even taste the fish. And we haven't even gotten into
the whole mercury thing yet, where migratory Pelagic fish like tuna absorb toxic metals. So just be mindful of
that healthy sushi lunch you go to after your
spinning or yoga class. I raised my leg above my head today, but also I'm about to go
eat some toxic metals, so I'll see you later, okay. (water bubbling)
(playful theatrical music) So that was 10 healthy foods that turned out to be unhealthy. But if you enjoyed this, remember to give it a big thumbs-up. Also be sure to subscribe to my channel, and turn on notifications
by clicking the bell beside the subscribe button, so that you never miss a video, because I release new ones all the time. Thank you guys for
watching, and I don't know what to eat now, 'cause
I was gonna have sushi. (crying)
