❤️Story: Kim Walker-Smith & Skyler Smith - Full Podcast Episode 🎧

[Music] engaging story where the fairytale is and real life again and I got this idea in my head that if I could just get him to talk to me but he would know he wants to marry me you know nothing to be expecting it was that love stories with practical ways to strengthen your relationship I made this deal with the Lord I don't know if it's the right thing to do now but it ended up in the right place strengthening your marriage one story at a time and we both have a really high value for feedback and so we've made it a point in our lives and marriage to keep our lives open to specific people you know around us mentors and mothers and fathers now this is engaging story I'm Matt and this is Becca and today's guests are Kim Walker Smith and her husband Skyler cane Walker Smith is one of my favorite worship artists and I always wanted to be a part of a church where there would be music like hers or with her leading when I moved down to Sacramento when Matt and I got married Jesus Culture started a church plant and they have opened their church now it's been two years I've been so blessed because I actually also attend a church where she is one of the worship artists and she's just so great about like assuring the Holy Spirit and making you just feel God's presence it's so amazing Kim's got a brand new album out it's called on my side and here's a quick little sample yes me [Music] you tell me [Music] you're in for a real treat hearing their love story and their wedding was very original you're going to love hearing about it as Kim and Skylar we're sharing it made you just want to be there and see the events of their wedding play out also this episode is perfect for the single people out there if you're single and you have the desire to be married this episode will definitely give you hope and encouragement you can get kim walker smith brand new album out at itunes on spotify and all those places you buy music we've got it linked up at our website engaging story com today's episode you get to hear how Kim and Skylar met I think it's really fun because we all know Kim as the worship artist but it's a really big treat to know Kim as a wife in a moment mm-hmm so you're going to hear about the dating relationship how they met and their first series of marriage and how they make it all work and if you want to take a guess right now how many dates Kim and Skylar went on before you proposed tell you this you can count it on your fingers yet this was truly a love at first sight kind of thing but we have some history but God just preordained this relationship together I think that two are better than one there's strong together and they are a great team Kim and Skylar have a very busy life two kids one on the way tours albums and all that they share a little bit about how they keep connected and how they organize their schedule to make sure that they keep their marriage connection going and their connection with God strong and ordered to have the strongest marriage possible if you're a brand new listener to the engaging story podcast welcome our mission here is to tell great love stories that give you hope and ideas on how to strengthen to your marriage so what that means is we have different themes we know that there's different things that people go through in life financial problems sickness maybe even infidelity some kind of lost so kind of lead you through their journey and how they made it and how with God as their foundation they have a stronger marriage today I've given each one of us story and testimony to be shared this podcast showcases stories of couples who have overcome obstacles in their marriage and our goal is to strengthen your marriage by hearing these wonderful and amazing stories so check out our website and you can download our by several different books and we also have some marriage are available that you can hang in your home to really help celebrate and strengthen your marriage we have two pieces of our home that everyday remind me of the commitment and covenant I've made to Matt in our family and it just reminds me of God's love and keeps me excited and joyful about all the blessings that I have with Matt as my awesome husband and if you want to see examples of that artwork check out our website engaging story com we've also like I said got all the details about Kim latest album linked up there to check out some lyric videos and just connect with her and Jesus culture let's get into the episode we like to kick off each episode with a song that was significant in the couple's life and their story today's song is from Ben Folds [Music] but I ah [Music] but you guys are you guys picked it or was it just we just how we're lucky not each other I think it's a special song just because it's saying how unique it is the finding the one person that really mentioned be perfectly and with good leading self that way yeah just hit us Natalie futsal player you got that okay we actually grew up in the same little farm town in Oregon come fall to be exact and I was in love with him when I was a little kid and I got sent to a like a youth camp one year and saw him there and immediately just was in a club quick system convinced I was going to marry him and my mom married a man who became my stepdad and some Vadis going to church and lo and behold it was the church that he and his family went to and our parents became friends and we started like you know having feels like Super Bowl parties and things like that where our families would get together and every time I would be so excited hoping that I could just have a conversation with him and I got this idea in my head that if I could just get him to talk to me but he would know he wants to marry me that was like the thought that was like I was obsessed with this thought in my head and sudonym instantly with me that I could not get him to talk to me in fact Skylar didn't talk too much anyone really and every time you know fine family Lawrence's house he neither disappear you with bedroom or we like go somewhere with his friends it was just crushing to me and I tried and tried to try not that I had anything against came for anything I just you were in the Bolivian yeah yes and then built the last chance in my head was he was a senior graduating and I was two years behind him and his family invited my family out on a mountain biking trip to San Juan Island and I yeah and I told my mom we have to go yeah I I knew like this is it he's gonna graduate high school and he's going to go somewhere this is my last shot and I told my mom we have to go my mom's like you don't even own a bicycle she's like mom I will do anything really we have to go on this trip she's like why are you so obsessed with this trip and because it's my last chance to get Skylar to talk to me and I know if he would just talk to me you would want to marry me and my mom like you are crazy and I remember like writing in my journal all the time mrs. Kimberly Smith I love Skylar's bed like I was just oh just mentioned well my mom she said no we needed one that trip and he he graduated he moved away his family moved to Wichita refers to Washington or was it I believe yeah and um and then that was it and I just him anymore and ten years later ten years here ten years was the Schuyler did you have any idea that she was interested I might have had an idea I wasn't I was one of those guys that eat up being outside and I felt like hereabouts I wa I don't I don't remember thinking better once but I wasn't thinking magic yeah girls really so that was good not just the time well I think it's the way so yeah we moved away separate places and then it kind of went out of Kim's mind it was never in my mind so myself and a friend ended up back in Klamath Falls or something and we ended up my mom my stepdad were still there in college they were there me and my buddy were looking for a place to stay and he ended up setting up with Kim's mom I would stay there because it's you know family friends everybody still connected to some level so we ended up staying at Kim's mom's house and then I know something clicked was there is that that was like you know we saw the daughter we need married off yeah I know I just say I'm the oldest of five and my stepdad was constantly because I was very career-oriented and my siblings were getting married and the younger siblings and my younger sister already had like two kids and my my stepdad would always make these jokes about Holly just can't get Kim married off and any like single guy to come out he go you know I got a daughter that still be single why are you milk but he yes send dr. Skyler yeah he said that to me and we were there for a couple days and then we pick up he was buddy but something clicked in me and I don't know if it was what you said obviously the Lord was doing something in my heart already and I wanted to seek Him and so the next opportunity ahead and just made every effort to go see her and that would have been well that was the country yes so I was leading worship at a conference in Spokane and his parents were like hey we're going to go this conference you remember Jim she's going to be leading worship there and then he was back in Jersey so I made this deal with them oh he didn't know what I was like doing with my life like he didn't he didn't like know who I was as far as like the stage Jesus Culture San Marino all right so I made this deal with the Lord don't know if it's the right thing to do or not but it ended up in the right place I was like I don't want to try like if this is me because feelings are just me I don't want to try and talk to him I don't want to try cuz I was doing it for a team to go any direction I'm like I know the last thing I want to do we're living in different places the last thing I want to do is you know get us both distracted from what we're doing you know some inclination in my mind so I was like okay Lord if this is you I'm going to do my part I'm going to go to this conference but I'm not going to try to toxic you know I'm not hey get your eye anything I'm just going to go and see what happens so I had some friends going and my parents were going so I went with plans to think it showed up there and randomly ran into another friend a girl and she's like hey I'm going out to lunch with some friends this is AB in the comments with simulator and it's like about 5,000 people that's not nested a conference you just run into yeah yeah so run into this friend she's like hey and we're going out to lunch or some frames do you want to come yeah cool and so we head out some lunch and then I start thinking like I wonder like absolutely he didn't say and physically we knew a lot of certain people so it would be like hey I'm going out with Jimmy or whatever you not being obvious but so I started to think about it like I bet we're going out to lunch was Ken so sure enough we're waiting him and where we were waiting him come block him in and I remembered the people he walks in the room and came right up to me we were like these guys the Moga time I was like oh my gosh it is Skyler Smith and I merely felt like the little girl again and I was so excited and so I went right up to say hi but we're in this big group trying to like contain my excitement I'd like this to be awkward so we're all going to lunch and I'm ignoring everyone to only talk to him even that's what I wanted to do yes but I think I didn't we're sitting at a table all having lunch together and just my big difficulty like no Achille yeah yeah so we end up to lunch sitting next to each other and talking and obviously I had clipping in my head I'm not going to try to end up here and a sudden we ended up here so my my brains fire and I'm like what is coated with that and really excited obviously don't eat the rest and we leave the restaurant yeah and we end up and I said I was like a Jew when I go out on a walk and catch up and it kind of came out of my mouth like an out-of-body experience because I wouldn't just like go up some guy and be like hey you went going oh oh yeah I remember I had a girlfriend that traveled with me and she also was my roommate she knew me really well and she just went like her jaw just dropped like what did you just say to this guy like I just asked this guy going to walk with you I know ketchup like good luck and and and then I was really embarrassed I thought oh he's going to think I'm so weird like this awkward you know me and he looks at me and he got super excited it was like yes there's like oh we do this okay so we went to this part that was right next to the venue and just sat there talking for the next like two hours and it's kind of like what have you been doing the last 10 years in our conversation it was thank you conscious it was a conversation that I knew if we just had it and he of course it'd say this but later I find out in that conversation he knew he was going to marry he didn't tell me and then I'm stuck with this balloon I'm like okay this is cheese and one this was it and I just saw her today for the first time look and what do you do that you're like hey let's get married or you're like I think I'm going to marry or you just leave it alone and I was excited I'm just going to leave it alone obviously the Lord is working in all this and it's going to leak along yeah and here's what she didn't you he didn't ask for my number she didn't ask for my email like nothing and so I'm sitting here the end of the trip say goodbye thinking some idiot like you he doesn't even just deke not realize what a great conversation this was and yeah I just you believe this coffee I get on the plane going number two a Los Angeles for a little bit and I just got well that's it I mean I I'm part of me wanted to be like here's my number just in case but I was like no I I will be pursued I avoid pursuit so he figured I know how I can find me I have no idea how this guy's gonna find me but you better just find a way figure in my mind I'm thinking okay no problem finding here so but I have been in recent communication with her mom you're like yeah it's not gonna be hard so a left cuz I'm trying to sort it all out negative my everybody that can talk to you basically in there everybody was just like that sounds like the Lord man and I remember my patent at that time gave me some pretty direct advice that I did surprise me he said sounds like the party's probably take it as fast as you can take it within reason how do you expect to hear but I'm also not 18 years old explain that in 2012 26 yeah we were again playing exactly so in comparison a thing your kid but yes on my home spent a lot of time in prayer trying to figure it out and just everything was yeah she's the one that's good so from that point on it was no time and we next time we got to see each other some living in Washington watching you did it well there's the part fridge you called me so I I'm down in LA and he why I went to Disney there one day by myself oh I stood I came Disneyland alone and I got down to LA and I I remember having this moment where I just started crying and I told the Lord no I my career is taking off and I love my career I love where you pretty much all my friends are married they're having babies very different life and I didn't ever want to seem less grateful for what everything that God has given me or done in my life and I just aren't crying and I and this kind of feels like this thing's like bubbled up somewhere down inside me and it was just been I'm really happy I'm really thankful but I wish I had someone to share it anyway and I just felt I don't know like this piece like this thing that was like it's now or never like lord if you're going to do this do it now or just don't do it at all like I did it I in my head I can fathom like if things are growing and moving forward in my life it just seems I could be harder and harder and harder to bring someone into that and so I could be man one day and when I come back to my car I think of my phone and there's a message from a number I don't know there's him and immediately I knew this is the Lord into my prayer I'm going to marry this guy and it's over and you seem like a little girl and I immediately like panic which I was not expecting I panicked like you answered that we're really fast am I ready am I ready am I ready for my single life to be over I would not expecting it to be this quickly and I didn't call him back and then he called a second time and I literally just watched the phone ringing and let it go to voicemail because I always like chickening out now like literally Isis is so what super the wiser and then you call third time so after two times I calls in two days I was like okay one more try and then he'll do that so I color again three times no answer [Music] must have been just who knows what I supposed to learn to you that and I'm like sitting on a beach sobbing going I don't know what to do I'm fine me it was like reality week dinners anyway what am i doing what I wanted without a little kid and runs in my car and pick up my phone and called him right then and I sat on the five we talked for like 45 minutes it was such a casual conversation I got the phone going okay I think that was something because he was being so discreet about it and he wasn't he wanted to just coming right out and saying I'm gonna marry you both oh yeah I think we both knew and then we arranged to meet up and see each other in our hometown and that was like our first date when he told me like some Tiffany see you yeah I'm living in Washington State she's living in California so it's pretty big difference in terms of finding each other right you know we met up in the middle and then she said you went pursue me and I said prove it we had two more dates after that and the third date he proposed and we got married six months later so you took that bastard yeah that was the first time that you talking up phone right when you were on the beach yes okay yes yes so there was literally we decide to other few times before we got engaged on anything after that it was yes we saw each other two times before we got engaged yeah the beautiful thing was there's kind of a history like families knew each other it wasn't like it was a stranger it was I two friends that just walk out to get more when you pull that God answer pretty specific prayers yeah no way like you just kind of leave me man yeah yes it was it was really clear the Lord was doing stuff just left and right yes confirming I remember when I was single the merry friends always wanted to tell you like this is how it is and they would make me so angry because they would talk like it was a formula it was right when I finally stopped looking that he showed up and I'm like there is room for there's not a formula to find me and I reckon I've seen I just got angry and I was like it is just God's timing and that's it and you cannot control vertex and I didn't understand this I mean and then the other thing that would always irritate me is when married people say my destiny well what does that mean like us people forever yes because I not know what that means yeah you say I just knew and it's not person to sight you're talking to foreign language baby okay yeah and it wasn't until it happens in Italy Oh Baby what they're talking about that just know me it's like the piece that there's no doubt or question and it's hard to verbalize it the hard to explain and I was like typing you just don't know what that means until you actually let me the car same with kids and different areas of life like you know before I had a kid I had no idea what sleep deprivation right really I where yeah I really don't like when I study for the exam you know till 3:00 in the morning no I proposed on a rainy evening was a Friday night or something mm-hmm so again brought Kim's mom and scenario but she went to a little Church in kind of Paul's everything's smaller so it's not figure that one out so we I brought some friends down there and Kim didn't know that they were there and so we took over the church sanctuary basically you pushed up that grand piano in their purse a grand piano out into the middle of the room and like put a bunch of roses out stuff like this and all candles yeah all while Kim and I were out to dinner to my buddies we came up with this grand plan you guys are going to do that we're gonna be able to bend yourself no idea what's going on and so the one hitch in the plan was how I was going to get her from the restaurant to charities can make yeah kind of a strange thing yeah I was very irritated and I'm asking a million questions at once we need to stop talking and I was like what is going on we're done at the restaurant like okay I just need a run by the church here really quick and truly really and like yeah come on Mac I like to speak in certainly get a little bit any of my no doctor pointed and so we pulled up there having it became fairly apparent quite quickly what was going on so I open the door walk in there and it's all candles and roses and suits no no any played the luckiest look cool I'm saying it's me you were so nervous so he didn't play it very well but he yeah yeah and then keeps family that lived there they were all liking other side of church watching thing with my buddies after I've ever done and heathering right there and down on one knee close and she said yes and then they all came out yeah that was it I yeah and our wedding was kind of crazy I wrote when he broke loose with CS and his friend Wow made like a bunch of original music for it and some of the music was performed live and some of it was according we had like the groomsmen and bridesmaids were all like characters and roles in this and it's kind of like a Cinderella type story and so I came out for the first scene and I'm like in normal clothes and you hear this whole crowd go what is going on we did it in a theater and it is all on stage and here's clearance about the Android people there it was kind of thing and it was really kind of a show we didn't really do anything normal at one point the town passed and he we exchanged rings but we sang our vows to each other and we did communion first because we before we did anything else because we it was kind of like a symbolic thing of like we're making our commitment to God first and before make a commitment together to each other and yeah nothing we didn't do any of the like normal like all this stuff that you say at a webpage no do it any of that and responses afterwards I'm with reception people actually came up and said you did actually get married right I was like well yeah because there's nothing that you could recognize this like traditional wedding jargon or anything else you know we yeah it's like yeah all intertwined in the story and we reach in our rings out in the audience and had like some audience interaction everyone looking for the Rings and one guy finally finds those stands up like I don't know and then if we're like you're the winner you know he comes up means like Hannah we're glad you round them that's cool you don't see that I think saying your vows to each other yes yeah we wrote wrote our vows and then wrote mix two songs one of the groomsmen was a composer quite a musician so he made me do it Samir like I went probably the hardest thing you could sing ever yeah yeah boys yes we have seen video the wedding every time we watch it brings up all that emotion you know you can hear inner voice is really on the verge of losing it over Tennessee yeah yeah that's cool there's only one other has been changed yes the one cottage is an actual wedding dress yes people coming to the wedding they did know is going to be declared no I mean a few people like to exist in like our family and I remember my mom just seemed like oh my word Kimberly are you sure you're gonna just going to work just going to work I'm like well you may have been Papa doesn't like who cares I'm getting married finer so this is kind of like it will er well I honestly for me I I was excited bout getting married and I was like I know I this is very elaborate crazy thing I'm doing here but in the end I ended up married no matter what so I was like I'm having the best but it all actually went really good and really smooth and everyone knew their parts and their roles and did their lines perfectly it was it was incredible actually and the kind of a miracle that it turned out so smooth and people everyone loved it because it was like going to a show and they they kept saying I have never gone to a wedding where I'm laughing hysterically and I'm crying and I'm a Pilate looky there where there's songs being sung throughout and lots of comedic action and things like that it was it was very light-hearted and very very fun and yeah awesome amazing do you guys have any expectations going into marriage and just have any like mentors or do any premarital counseling we did premarital counseling with Danny silk who had been a father in my life for many years it's a kid Danny he knew me even you know through all the the dating the setbacks like everything I was working through as a single woman and when Skyler came along I told him there's there's two guys that you're going to have to have a conversation with for this to move forward and it was Bannen who you know over Jesus culture and Danny as soon as you just say yes when he calls listen he's calling you to seek his face and know the most satisfying part of relationships is when people are connected and they feel the love that they have for one after this conversation said to me marry him marry this guy do it quickly Jackie yeah so yeah we did we did it with him and as far as expectations we we've set out some things early on that helped us grow pretty solid foundation in our marriage one of the things was both want to just be on each other side no matter what life looks like for us or who's who's in the lead obviously Kim has spotlight on her a lot and it's you know create some unique dynamics or like sometimes that's going to be the case sometimes it'll be the other erection but really what we both want to do is just push the other one as hard as we can towards you know success basically whatever success looks like in that moment until if that's you know relationship with the Lord or career success organic expecially whatever that is we just want to make sure that we're both on that same page if I'm going to be pushing you that way and you're going to be pushing me that way and sometimes it'll look differently and that's okay it's just two years down the road maybe it looks the opposite way so I think that idea set us up for a lot of successes and you know before I did a lot of potential struggles is because that are always I want you to be the best team you can be as you read Skyler you can be whatever I can to help that and we spent our first year of marriage in San Francisco we found out like originally I had planned on going to this theater school before he had come into my life and I just said the timing is interesting because I applied to this school I got accepted and planning to do this because I'll move anywhere for you and which was great but we get there and we're like I think this is more about our marriage than it was a school I think like the Lord was already setting that up because you know readying where I was living it's a very small town and I can't like I shouldn't really go anywhere without knowing people you know and people knowing me and it was just best a lot of pressure on a marriage you have like everyone just watching you and just watching staring every move and decision you make and so it actually was really good for us to be in San Francisco away from everyone you know people talk about the honeymoon cave you know people get married disappears for a while and we disappeared for a solid year straight long I mean we came and it was it was perfect because that is what we really needed and it helped us really solidify like who we are as a team because people did know me but now we were trying to coming back as ice I'm Kim Smith now like this it's different it's a different dynamic different person and it's a team dynamic and so I was good because we were able to kind of establish that a halogen spotlight and we needed that it's really good fortunately the way that everything worked and with being able to travel and ministering do that we've spent pretty much the entirety of our first year together and like not separating for work during the day or yeah like every day but Bella Bay which is really great it's really expensive time well I'd feel the grow closer to each other for being away from all those years and yet since if you have to be on stage and traveling I could be without that unity there that yeah you're back and we're a team here yes yes awesome yes definitely we needed that yeah we did you have the foundations are still there I think about some of the things that we set up then you know obviously the Lord was moving and talking to us because those things are still foundation pillars for Jack and I'm like you've gotten yes judge and yeah church planters clamoring yeah yeah a lot of a lot of stuff a lot of life but we just we'd do it together and we don't kind of are both kind of the personalities where we feel like we don't have to defend or explain our decisions or we know that it's unconventional at times like people seeing me a lot but they don't they don't always be him or the strength that he brings or what he does but we don't mess excuse thing of having to prove our yourself to anybody you know and so we just continue to push each other and cheer each other on and to encourage what's in each other's hearts whatever that looks like you know and remaining flexible we're going to have to do that with everything happening in our in our life being changed so much in the tears kind of different I think early on we thought I were going to figure out how our life how our marriage works you know our lifestyle I figure that out I'm a gentleman can be great now we're a little older and wiser and obvious to us beliefs in our lifestyle that we may not ever figure out that one thing as as soon as we get there it changes and then we have to rearrange it's been always adjusting and always just trying to reassess okay this was last year that works that didn't work next year is going to be different use of stuff that works and throw away some of the other stuff and try new things what does that look like practically like is it part of your date night or is it you know once a month check-in or is it constantly lot of lots of communication and they are constantly working out and I'm a little more as a sealer especially you know since having kids and I feel really in tune which they with the kids and kind of gauging like how they're feeling and what's going on and Skyler's he's more specific you know Cavell all think I can conquer the world and he's like your arm is hanging off sorted like no you need a break like he's the one who I kind of keep resolve rounded and and helps with realistic expectations and ideas and plan because I do have a tendency to like be living out in the future and just constantly like dreaming and fingering out there and he's good at helping bring me back in and go okay let's be realistic about this we we can handle this one thing we can't handle all these things so pick your favorite different you know whatever it is especially with kids ever since kids came along you know so our boys we toured with them the first two years the first one year each of their lives and first two years of our older sons eyes and it was great it's really hard know as musician on the road and touring and ministry with kids and we got to that end and you know we kind of reevaluate towards the end of every year because when you did to fall there wanting to start planning the next year and get it all planned out so a whole year of our life is planned way ahead for us so we started looking at our boys England I think they're done I think they need a break from the road and these two years where babies on the roads been hard and good they did great but we just feel it like they they need some stability and it's not real normal perfect toddlers do not have stability you know like they really need that and so it was a tough decision but it was up we're in this together so we decided to take the year off and I couldn't there were some things that I you know contrast and I couldn't get out of but we were able to Justin shorten everything to like the very smallest amount of time gone and the very wrote you know most few things on the schedule and we stayed home and we left the boys at home so I just would go out like to night max and come home and he stayed home with the boys why did that and that was a big change for us it was crazy for me to be gone and not have him or is the boys with me and that was a huge adjustment I remember my first trip I cried the whole trip because I had never been away from my kids like that I've never been away from him like that and it was just kind of it's just bizarre but it became the new normal for that year and then we got to the end of earring wet okay you know what they're doing really good spacing staple they seem they're older they're one of them potty-trained like and then we said I think we're ready to get back out again and we kind of talked like if you want if we not what if we get out there and they fall apart indicated or you know what would and we work just decided we'll then we change it we just say we pull out we say operational we thought it would work but it not and so just remaining like constantly flexible and we've talked about our schedule and our life and even if like what's on to the week like nightly kids go to bed we start talking life you know both of them so sitting they put the kids to bed early at all have a couple hours to so I was room I wish our our kids are not great sleepers and I don't know if it's just because of life on the road you know a different time zones and things like that leeches are not very good and so we reach them up kind of late because we're just hoping that they will sleep in the precision of the degree anticipate and they feel what kind of wake up early so I've any books or any courses or anything that you've taken that you thought was really good for helping me couple of some you need I mean what we did Danny in course you did that but we we were done a lot of books really not yeah we really kind of book we took a little more than four dozen together as much info as we can and hold on to what we what your next like that okay well you guys and bust out some great people speaking into your life and so maybe anything I'd like sticks out and given travel I mean probably opens with a lot of different experiences and wisdom from people's anything from from the road that you heard or cleansing is in terms of pressures and expectations that you know we all put on our marriage and other people put on a magic no matter who we are we've got a consistent message from people that we respect and honor and just that's like you know not taking you forward in any way you need to focus on being healthy and you know let the Lord take you where your money building yes invest in making your marriage strong and invest in each other and invest in communication but like having these really high expectations and not meeting them all the time it's like you know an egg becomes a negative in your life but if you have not that I don't have high expectations for a marriage but like you know way out there all time I think we bring it in a lot closer all the time in life okay we're disconnected right now is it contagious you know then just more of a very personal approach and trying to trying to keep it like this is us right now that six feet of this and our struggle right now is the boys haven't slept in three days how do we sort this out and you know our over right now is next month is going to be crazy let's figure out how we're going to approach this and win at it and that's been really instrumental in us doing well I think and to still allow the Lord to do what he does and taking our responsibility which is my responsibility is not treat him well and treat the family well and take care of myself in terms of if I got something going on I need to get that sorted not good let it hang out there and have it affect them all the time and so being present in our relationship is a big thing and something we always work on let's give this connection let's keep our connection at all costs and if there's something that's pulling us apart you know whether it's just a silly argument or it's you know life circumstances for these months let's figure this out so we can approach life from a place of connectedness not a place of disconnection which is not huge for us and we both have a really high value for your feedback and so we've made it a point in our lives and marriage to keep our lives open to specific people you know around us mentors and mothers and fathers who they can speak into our life and give us feedback on just being the best version of ourselves and that always influences the marriage you know and I mean there's been so many times that banning has met with us one-on-one and spoken into our lives or given us feedback or challenged us in a certain way and Skylar might come home or I might come home that was behind Shane was really challenging me and this and I'm sure Skylar's had the experience where I tell them you know being challenged me this week like you know like finally someone set in you know or or or like mg after years and finally you just up now you heard it you know and and I I've had the same thing with him like he's come home and he's like man I mean take something really like pushed me to kind of go I I am totally doing it I'm like thank you Jesus you know you have those moments but I think that's important to like not every you know company or whatever it is always done together but I think just having a high value for I want to grow and change and allowing feedback has come in at to you just as a person able they always benefit your balance you know because you're on an endeavor to grow and you then end up you know growing together so as that that you view for you guys have you both always been open to feedback or hands up and across that well actually we got that sorted yeah when for me um you know when I so I kind of like to really surrendered my life to God at 18 and I graduated high school I moved to reading and I was going to a Christian University there and then later I ended up at special and connected with banning immediately and I think that was just in their environment they're like you know having value for feedback and growing all that kind of stuff I had never been exposed to that up to that point and part of it was probably just you know life also age I don't think teenagers are thinking about that so I'm with an immigrant name and so I kind of feel like I was kind of brought up in that environment and taught to have a value for that and and I accepted it because I've always been extremely ambitious and career minded and for me I relate that to I got to grow and I got to be the best version of myself because I I want to grow I want to go forward and Tyler comes from a family that's like they're super it's a super healthy family it's a great environment and they're really strong people and and very independent which which has its strengths in weaknesses which is not struggle done like this is my problem I'm going to sort it out and I don't my first thing isn't like oh I need to add somebody for help or oh I mean they hear what somebody else's perspective is my thing is like yeah contemplated human inwardly and project yeah - I mean there's obviously that's good to some extent but my world is bad sometimes because it's so far that I won't yeah you know reach up and like help me out here tn somebody actually I think it's banging he's like dude it's like you're Alan ocean you're in a little tiny rail boat you're both thinking you got a box full of flares on a flare gun and the ship they're waiting to help you and you're not shooting up your quarters what hit him you make sense so that's that's definitely when you didn't see the change you received feedback really well I just took you out like realize that you wanted it or needed it were bringing bringing people in to what's going on it's difficult and I and it's like even talking about it right now I'm like oh yeah it's clear as day yes but yeah it's people can help us let's help each other cook for whatever reason my mentality in my head is I'm gonna do this on my own [Applause] okay I have the same as you can I have to be working on the creating community the card you are on the road and traveling to keep other couple of sets can get in your life and in your face and help define you and do it we kind of like to world like we've we've got there's like couples and people in other cities and other places where we feel really connected to them and we stay in contact with them and we make it a point to see them you know a minimum of once a year but usually ends up being more and we feel really connected to those people but it's obviously not the same as like community like where you live and so we've been that's been better for us since we moved here to plant the church so we came to grant the church too much that's its planning at churches hearts the best part about it I think is fun just being in the foundational stages of getting to know people and also kind of that it's like it for me at this nice like just getting to know people like just I can't get the mom standing in the back with her screaming children and not like necessarily like worship leader can enjoy need so that's been good it's a challenge because we really are country kids and we like living in the boondocks oh we do we live out in the country on a little farm we're like how awake remember so we have to be super intentional about like getting together with friends or whatever because it's kind of hard we look at it like there's since a like three peers of that we need that healthy operating in our life and one would be people that we can impart to pour into you know help out so almost like we would be with mentors in that situation and then peer level friends which is people in our playing stones like you know like we're all working through some of the same things and figuring out life on the same level and then the other side the mentor thing you know people speaking into our lives that can help out when we get that mix working well together it's like oh yeah we're super connected but honestly you lose one of those in our lives and it's like something doesn't feel quite right you know I'm likely missing something so it's always our challenge my team said yo yo kids look away from everything you care claim they're on the road for weeks you tell me I'll hang out with you in three weeks yeah I feel kind of bad so my girlfriend's I'm like I I'm preparing them going okay I'm going to be gone on it honest word for three weeks and they know with me it feels so weird but we have to like really plan ahead and you spend a lot hanging out and I always feel feel like kind of it's like I can't really just say yeah playdate today let's do it cuz usually are like like if I kind of not able to do that and so aside you I I will be looking ahead and like scheduling and planning stuff out is we have to be intentional indoors we just don't have and at all so we can't function that way yeah in those things because they're important to us you make time being on the estimate time phone because they're important to us and it means that we don't have you know tons of friends all the time tons of people are mentoring those time and comes people speaking into our lives but there's definitely the select view that we're always like an excuse our connection points here here and here and to make sure if we're home for now or you know like catching time Malik's first fostering the connections begin pull the intentionality behind but I love that blend so I feel like when you're mentoring someone you're getting to you look back on your own life your learner this is how God is faithful and it's in a way sharing your testimony mentoring and the super inspirational yeah it's like good in you like cool well yeah God has gotten me to this point where I get to speak into someone's life and I think that that's the one because I think it's easy for us in any area of life to go yeah I want someone's begin to me we go to church and we go to the conference's and we want me not we crave that but to be able to go and God's given us our story to share it's funny and even this someone that brings the most life sometimes it seems and yeah and this because like you said you get a reminisce on what the Lord has done in your life and then share that and then it helps someone you're like okay I'm take those just because of what the Lord has done so it's really important [Music] who tells about 2017 you've got a lot going on yeah yeah we got my am numbers three the mid solo records not counting home and the Christmas album which is my favorite record coming out in April just finish your crane Jesus culture all on the next one of those and that will come out and I want to say like August I think to my obvious come right on there and baby number three will be joining our crew and through June yeah I recommend all right and he'll print or did you all forget this exactly what I did with the blockage Rose my boys when we first went out it was at two ones old traveling with that as I actually that is a lot easier and Charlie with them they're like no new boy facially that's like a breeze yeah they was leavin dangerous like that's it yeah and it's so much easier than when they start getting real active crawling and mighty loggin sorry you can't just crawl around the dirty airplane board like me okay yeah yeah all that related top of your group yeah thank you so much Kim and Skyler for sharing your story was so encouraging day in and day out I have Kim's music just playing in my house it just encourages me and my Christian walk you know that God is right there with me throughout all my struggle always waiting for me that should speak to them we are extremely blessed to be able to go to church with Kim and her husband and again Kim brand-new album is out now can't recommend it highly enough and learn more about it on our website engaging story calm and lastly if you love the episode and love the podcast and what we're trying to do here to strengthen marriages head over to iTunes and leave a review and the podcast source you've never left a review on a podcast will let us see your first one we've got details on how to do that you can go to engage in story calm the step-by-step instructions on how to leave a podcast review thanks so much know again Matt left out the most important thing about relationships is that Heather was living in Washington and she was living in California there's just something magical about formula for good marriage that people that ya date from Washington in California they just end up with the best healthiest happiest sexy marriages so I encourage you wherever you are to move there if you're not moving California another person who is Washington and you'll meet your soulmate Matt you want explain that at all I think people realize that was our story mmm-hmm we've got a lot more episodes on their way if you want to get updates you can head to our website we've got a blog and we like to give you a little sneak peek in the editing process engaging story calm and follow us on facebook facebook.com slash engaging story

Channel: Engaging Story

Views: 8,252

Rating: 4.9371729 out of 5

Keywords: kim walker-smith, skyler smith, jesus culture, on my side, podcast, story, marriage, marriage podcast, hope, Jesus, faith, christian

Id: xeo95fTBCHE

Length: 53min 55sec (3235 seconds)

Published: Mon May 01 2017