>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY.
LOOK AT THAT. IT'S MR. DAVID LETTERMAN,
EVERYODY. YOU KNOW HIM.
I UNDERSTAND, DAVE, I UNDERSTAND YOU'VE GOT A FEW ANNOUNCEMENTS.
>> David: I HAVE SOME ANNOUNCEMENTS.
BY THE WAY, THANK YOU FOR THE TIME.
FIRST OF ALL, TODAY IS MY WIFE'S BIRTHDAY.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND I THINK NOTHING IS MORE
PRECIOUS IN A MARRIAGE THAN A TV GREETING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY! [APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: DON'T WAIT OUT. >> David: YEAH, THAT'S IT FOR
THE ANNOUNCEMENTS. IF I THINK OF ANY, I'LL COME
BACK TO THEM BUT THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT SO FAR.
>> Stephen: A STRANGE JOB A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AS YOU SAID, VERY FEW PEOPLE HAVE HAD THESE KINDS OF JOBS AND
I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE MY FRIEND JON STEWART TO TALK ABOUT
THIS WEIRD JOB WITHIN MY FRIENDS IN STRIKE FORCE FIVE.
IN MY DOTAGE, I HAVE BECOME WITH MR. DICK CAVETT WHICH HAS BEEN
FUN TO HEAR HIM TELL STORIES ABOUT YOUNG JOHNNY CARSON AND
JACK PARR. WAS THERE ANYONE FOR YOU WHEN
YOU WERE IN THE CHAIR THAT YOU COULD DO THAT WITH, SOMEONE YOU
COULD CALL AND TALK? COULD YOU CALL JOHNNY?
>> David: NO, BUT I HAD SUCH GREAT RESPECT FOR THESE GUYS.
JOHNNY IS/WAS THE MOUNT OLYMPUS. YOU DIDN'T JUST CALL JOHNNY AND
SAY HEY, JOHNNY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
SHOULD I DO THIS? WHAT ABOUT THE COLOR SOCKS?
OR THEY GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT, JOHNNY?
I WAS PRETTY MUCH ALONE. I WAS ORPHANED IN THE TALK SHOW
WORLD. >> AWWW.
>> David: I DON'T APPRECIATE THE SARCASM.
>> Stephen: TONIGHT FOR US THIS IS SHOW 1,431.
WHICH IS NOTHING. NOTHING FOR YOU.
YOU DID JUST OF "THE LATE SHOW" ALONE, YOU DID OVER 4,000 SHOWS
HERE. I'M JUST CURIOUS.
[CHEERING] THEY CALLED TO THE IRON MAN OF
LATE NIGHT. >> David: THAT'S RIGHT.
AND THEY WERE ALL DAMN GOOD. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MISS
MOST IF THERE IS ANYTHING? >> David: I MISS EVERYTHING.
MOSTLY IT'S FUN. VERY FEW THINGS IN LIFE PROVIDE
ONE THE OPPORTUNITY, AND I CAN'T SPEAK FOR YOU OR TO YOU ON THIS
TOPIC. BUT FOR ME IF YOU MUCK ONE UP,
24 HOURS LATER YOU GET TO TRY AGAIN.
>> Stephen: WE CALL IT KLEENEX IN THE BOX.
THERE'S ALWAYS ANOTHER ONE IN THE BOX.
>> David: THAT WAS GREAT. IT MADE IT MORE AND MORE FUN AND
THEN WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING YOU'RE REALLY PROUD OF, YOU
THINK "MY GOD, LET'S DO THAT AGAIN."
AND SIX OR SEVEN YEARS LATER YOU HAVE THAT EXPLAINS ONE MORE.
>> Stephen: THE DAY BEFORE I WENT ON THE AIR, MORTY, YOUR OLD
PRODUCER, CALL ME. I WORKED ON SOMETHING ELSE.
>> David: WHAT DID YOU WORK WITH THEM ON?
>> Stephen: A PILOT THAT NEVER GOT MADE WITH BARRY LEVINSON AND
TOM FONTANA. THE THREE OF THEM WERE DOING
SOMETHING TOGETHER. I WORKED FOR MORTY'S COMPANY AND
HE CALLED ME UP THE DAY BEFORE I WENT ON THE AIR AND SAID "HEY,
STEPHEN. HE GOES LISTEN, I JUST WANT YOU
TO GIVE IN MIND IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
JUST KEEP IN MIND NO MATTER HOW IT GOES, IT'S NEVER AS BAD AS IT
FELT." IT ALWAYS PLAYS BETTER IN THE
BOX. AND HE GOES "IT'S NEVER AS BAD
AS IT FELT. IT'S ALSO NEVER AS GOOD AS IT
FELT." >> David: THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Stephen: KEEP IN MIND IS ANOTHER ONE TOMORROW.
THAT WAS HIS ADVICE. >> David: THE HOME SCREEN IS A
GREAT EQUALIZER. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU.
I COULDN'T LEAVE THE BUILDING UNTIL IT WAS DARK AND REALLY,
REALLY DARK I WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED.
IREMEMBER WHEN YOU CAME UP, WHEN YOU CAME UP TO THE OFFICE
AND WE VISITED AND THIS MAN SEEMINGLY FINE, WELL-ADJUSTED,
NICE GUY. HE SAYS TO ME, THIS IS THE ONLY
THING I REMEMBER FROM THAT EVENING, TWO THINGS.
I SHOWED HIM OUT HOW TO OPERATE THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR.
>> Stephen: IT'S A BRASS HANDLED OLD FREIGHT ELEVATOR.
>> David: ANYBODY GETS A CHANCE TO DRIVE THE FREIGHT
ELEVATOR, TAKE IT. IT'S GREAT FUN AND SENSE OF
POWER IS AMAZING AND OVERWHELMING.
AND YOU TELL PEOPLE. NO, I DON'T.
WELL, I KNOW HOW TO DRIVE THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR.
SO WE DID THAT. WENT UP AND DOWN ABOUT NINE
TIMES. AND THEN HE SAYS TO ME, AND I'M
PARAPHRASING, BUT I THINK THE MEMORIES PRETTY VIVID.
HE SAYS "DO YOU HAVE IN THIS BUILDING LIKE A HIDING HOLE?"
YOU KNOW, I HADN'T HEARD HIDEY HOLE FOREVER.
AND I SAID, I'M THINKING, WHAT KIND OF SHOW IS THE GUY GOING TO
DO? >> David: I ASKED IF THERE WAS
A PLACE I COULD HIDE. >> Stephen: SIMPLY SAID I
COULD HIDE FOR MY PRODUCERS. YOU SAID YES, I DO AND IT'S
GREAT BECAUSE IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH. >> David: WHERE IS IT?
>> Stephen: I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU BECAUSE THEN MY
PRODUCERS WILL KNOW. YOU SAID IT'S GREAT BECAUSE IT'S
CLOSE ENOUGH TO WHERE THE PRODUCERS ARE THAT YOU CAN HEAR
THEM CALLING FOR YOU AND THEY WON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AND
THEY HAVE NEVER FOUND ME. BUT THE SECRET MIGHT BE THEY'RE
NOT LOOKING. THEY MAY NOT CARE IF I SHOW UP.
>> David: MY PROBLEM WAS I COULDN'T HIDE FROM ANYBODY AND
IT SHORTENED MY LIFE. GIVE ME A HINT.
IS IT IN THIS LEVEL OF THE THEATER?
>> Stephen: YES. THIS IS WHERE YOU WANT TO HIDE.
>> David: IS IT UNDER YOUR DESK?
>> Stephen: NO, THAT'S WHERE JON STEWART LIVES DOWN THERE.
>> David: [LAUGHS] >> Stephen: WE ARE GOING TO
TAKE ANOTHER BREAK HERE BUT DON'T GO NOWHERE.
IT'S LETTERMAN. MORE WHEN WE COME BACK.
