ZANE HIJAZI COMES CLEAN ABOUT HIS ADDICTION | JEFF FM | Ep.20

[Music] all right let's get that energy up ah we got zayn on the show zayn from the vlog squad not from one direction that's what all the questions are for i knew that was going to be an issue but it's going to be fun where's good to see you yeah there you go that's like our first ever barbershop intro that you did when you walked in you gave a little wave to the camera interact with the audience because these are the people that let us live out our dreams thank you guys thank you for tuning in every time there's times when we don't want to [ __ ] do this stuff you know but we we still got to show up we changed the change the angle yeah dude dude i'm a [ __ ] subscriber i watch do you really yeah well we had to change it because when i had michael bisping on his bad eye was here and my bad i was there we were like this the whole time we were both so insecure the whole episode and i mean he wasn't he would he's not insecure at all and neither am i i'm not [ __ ] yeah at all you're good i'm super excited to have zayn on zane's a a long time friend of mine one of my faves i don't know how to introduce you you're a tick talker now you're a podcaster you're a real estate agent both podcaster and real estate agent tic tac is like you know it's my side thing it's like my side hustle house flipper house flipper yeah i was a house flipper for three years and then i lost all i i lost i lost every time i tried to flip the house so no you made money on those houses no because i spent money on like designing and planning all this [ __ ] and then when i ended up not doing it anymore and i sold the house i ended up spending more money because you blew money on the furniture yeah because i was born i was getting my house back so i broke even but the money i was spending on planning that ended up being negative so but at least you had all those idiots move in there and help you pay a mortgage for you exactly they don't know that but i try my best they know they know if they know what i hear from todd on the hikes i'm paying all the [ __ ] money at zane's house paying this damn mortgage you know a bunch of [ __ ] 40 year olds living in a contest and you don't shoot content together enough i think you should do more of that it's tough man the the the magic isn't there i don't feel like dude having to pick up a camera and just be like hey guys welcome back to my channel thank you for coming i can't do that yeah sometimes when you spend too much time with people it's just tough to continue filming exactly and i keep having people check out this unit that's open next door and scott's looking at it now and i'll even take scott you know if scott move in here that'd be nice to have another friend it's just nice to have people around it'll be a little bit more depressing but it's fine you know we're all going through this yeah but todd's in the building now um because he has bread here he's doing his podcast here i don't know if that's top secret oh that's here todd's starting a podcast oh [ __ ] i didn't know that yeah todd's you know [ __ ] roommate you guys don't talk over there dude you know what i haven't i haven't really talked to todd for a little bit now dude i've it's i've been like focused on others you guys beat him no is it over now no he no he asked me the other and he was like hey dude like are you okay i was like yeah no i'm okay there's just a lot of things happening i have to figure out he's like you're not mad at me right i'm like no i'm not mad at you he's a sensitive little one like that todd yeah i feel bad because he's always like he's always positive he's always very energetic and i've been like the complete opposite lately so i'm low energy too i'm low energy right now but yeah todd i'll always you know i'm always being debt to him and giving my career he puts me through you did too as well you were my first one of my first episodes on the barber shop that i really loved oh thank you i i do i mean i should get credit for being one of the first ones to um save you from the korean accident so i think he's one of the first to say yeah so we all have our own thing i mean that episode that we did the barber shop was one of the most fun ones i ever it's kind of helped me figure out the flow of the show yeah see how you guys start 17 times in a row and you just got so pissed off and it made for such just such a good episode yeah i'm not gonna lie when we did that episode i was a little nervous because i thought you're gonna ask me just [ __ ] insane questions that you'd put me on the spot i'd be like [ __ ] how do i answer this but you did it was actually a fun episode well i'll probably do that now now you'll do that no i'm prepared now so you can ask away and uh by the way we're live yeah we are live oh we're live live podcasts now because we're editing are we actually live yeah no we're not are we actually live it's only seven thousand no no no we're not oh no oh no no jeff you know okay you know we can't do live live have a drink have a shot it's heritage month month munch munch i gotta [ __ ] in my brain okay so if this is live three hard words to say hispanic heritage month i keep saying hispanic heritage munch that's [ __ ] racist don't do that put it loud let's get this let's get this morale up over here let's [ __ ] get this have this some of that tequila that was dropped off by bruno mars yesterday right at my door if he came right to my door i was like what the hell how the hell do you know where i live bruno mars this is this is nice is it really nice tequila oh no it's rum that's why it's nice i haven't had rum in ages yeah i thought it was tequila i don't even know oh wow they just came and dropped it off i was like how the [ __ ] did you even get my address i feel like i'm in the [ __ ] bahamas now it's hispanic heritage month we're not exactly sure i just saw that on an instagram post beforehand oscar is it actually can we can we do some research before i say the wrong thing and i look like a [ __ ] idiot uh it is until october 15th yeah half a month hold on so who's can we see if people are watching a live right we're doing a moment for hispanic heritage munch [ __ ] [ __ ] why is that so hard to say month hispanic heritage month you don't know it can't be edited out because it's live right yeah it can't be edited we can't edit it oscar can we clarify the dates is it october it's hispanic it's i'm not even trying to say it the month of hispanic heritage friday it's uh september 15th through october 15th so they started they started they started on the halfway point through a month yeah okay i don't i don't want to comment on that i think it's kind of [ __ ] uh kyle you don't have anything to say about this you're woke ass they got they're going to start halfway through the month yeah i guess we're halfway in it because oh well i mean congrats congratulations hispanic people yeah we're gonna have a few tequila shots someone in chat said why does zayn look nervous because i because we're live we're [ __ ] live now so i i really i just have to yeah are you guys [ __ ] with me where are these people where are these don't worry about it okay it's all good um all right so if you ask me anything and i can't answer it then i'm just gonna say uh pineapple okay cool well let's talk about the global crisis the world is going through all right pineapple pineapple in your own little hollywood bubble full of influencer parties and [ __ ] that's all fairy tales and rainbows but we are still very much a pandemic and the world is in a dark place outside i'm not i'm not going to parties i don't know what you're talking about have you seen me at a party lately i don't go out anymore it's not a big deal that we're alive nobody cares nobody [ __ ] watches this [ __ ] um just be happy man it's not live it's far down here when we stop [ __ ] around because we're not live i don't want you to oh thank god oh thank god this was going to be a really rough episode i'm glad you told me that it's going to be a rough episode regardless because i haven't even done anything i haven't left the house i kind of feel like i'm going a little insane me too man i'm right there with you seriously oh yeah are you not doing well mentally oh no dude i've been in a really bad place for the past time that's a perfect segue dude that's why i haven't like do i haven't hit up anybody i know you're getting deep and emotional right now but save this because this show is actually sponsored by better health online yes the world is in a tough spot but your inner fortress and achieving some peace during the chaos visit betterhelp.com and get to building that's right better help baby okay what's going on with you mentally is this still part of the ad read no no we're not we just that's a little short addre we do these little ones oh um i just feel like my world is falling apart seriously i kind of like and a part of me i just want to get out of here i don't want to like live here anymore where do you want to move to anywhere else like yeah mid middle america no middle east yo you want to go back to middle east go to lebanon really just me and my sister hidayah we just go out there she lives in florida no she lives in new york now but i think we're both ready to really you can't do that bro i'm gonna do that you're gonna i don't i don't i don't need to be here with anybody i don't need to be how are you gonna do the podcast with heath over zoom oh [ __ ] i forgot me and he thought the podcast you're not seriously thinking about this are you what would you do out there gas prices are cheaper out there yeah you control the oil well exactly we'd get it for stock prices so you would bottle up the gas and mail it back here and say pretty much oh yeah i'll give you a discount under under my family's like name now you're talking yeah you want to have a plan laid out you don't want to just do a big jump and move to lebanon when you're you know um no yeah i would definitely plan it out a little bit yeah and about a house being built right now for me out there you just got a house here with everybody i know but there's a house being built out there for dirt cheap for me when i'm ready to go out there i can't tell if you're [ __ ] with me or not because i i've been people a lot of people have been [ __ ] with me with moving over the past couple weeks it i had christian tell me he's gonna move next door now scott said he's gonna move next door now you're telling me you're moving across the world to live it out yeah well i think people are moving here into this building because they're worried about your mental health and well thank god you have better help because you know you can get back to better better space mentally i tried to get out of the house yesterday i got tickets given to me by roman because it's the erectile dysfunction uh company and we did such a good job with their brand steven naked and they were like you know what you guys did such a good job we want to give you tickets to the dodgers game no way it was wait hold on we got a roman attorney too they didn't give us any tickets to a game well you show you should have one of your co-hosts i guess they like that if we knew that i would have showed up naked too well try it for next time but that's not the part of the story i'm getting i want to get to um they gave me these tickets and i wanted to go yesterday but we had to post the barbershop so i had to miss the game and i was like you know what [ __ ] i don't really care that much about baseball i did like baseball as a kid but i gave the tickets to liam who's [ __ ] from liverpool and he has no idea i think he thought he was going to a soccer game the [ __ ] tickets were behind the like home plate they were sick tickets like 2 500 a seat it was like a playoff wild card game yeah so the loser gets eliminated and it was a walk-off home run that they won the game with wow it's like a like an insane game too so liam was [ __ ] excited he left before the end i think because he thought like it was like soccer like if it's like the score is like two goals ahead like you're sitting there with a baseball with baseball like and it was a giant walk-off home run and i missed that [ __ ] game to post a barbershop but whatever it's cool because you know we're back and i'm happy about it oh was he actually naked throughout the episode yeah he was naked but i'm happy i'm back where i'm launching my own company i kind of feel like how you guys when you launch this yeah i'm drinking it right now are you really um no i i never have anymore what what's in there right now i just got regular no there's coffee in there but it's not our cause i'm gonna promote a cup you guys only sent me one box i don't know where i don't know where to buy no that box was supposed to last you for about like 20 days so that's our fault is it sold out right now yeah is it because we're i mean we're working on things right now to get it back but it's you guys mixed up with the mob i heard you doing deals yeah mafia yeah you know it's uh you have to really watch out for who you work with you know yeah so what do you got to sit down now now you took a deal with the mob and if business goes wrong you know how that ends yeah no i mean we're i mean trust me we're about to kill ourselves so we need them all to kill us but but we'll get back you know yeah it sounds like people are gonna die bro why are you playing so much [ __ ] music i can't even hear about myself think i mean who really cares what we got to say it's not like anybody's watching anyway so we're completely maxed out we got a lot of topics um that we want to get into today oh let's do it my first topic to get into i mean i was going to have you do like some financial advice for the kids or something like that because you're like so good at it i'm not if i'm the last person flipping houses yeah but i mean i was not good at it at all i thought i was like could be this real estate magician but i i'm not so funny because uh jeff was looking for a house and the day that we went on zillow like your house went home yeah yeah my house is the same price as david's right now how the [ __ ] is mine gonna get sold no way yeah your david's house went uh they did a 500 000 price cut is that insane what is it the the market now i think it's the i think it's the foundation the foundation needs to be like um fixed a little bit oh because this house is about to fall off that [ __ ] cliff right it's something i mean i don't know how bad it is but they just it just needs to be fixed so every time someone goes and looks at the house they need to be told that hey look the foundation needs to be fixed and and then they're like how much is that going to cost and they're like it's going to cost around 500 000 so that i think that's why they looked at the price guy i don't know i didn't ask david but i'm pretty sure that's why yeah damn damn that's funny which makes my house look good because my house you don't need to fix it well if if david's house falls off it lands on your house so oh i have no idea what you're talking about you're old how oh you sold that house no that that house is what do you mean the house is nowhere near david's your house was directly below david no but it's like it's it's not in the the way of the house falling down bro david's house falls off that mountain are you trying to [ __ ] not have your house affected okay my bad that's my bad well we can't cut it out because we're alive i know i know i don't know both your [ __ ] houses just dropped 500 g's that's enough for the financial advice segment i know i i gotta call my real secret let's move on to the the guy that got drunk and went out on a search party for himself we're just recycling topics over here whatever's hot in the morning what what happened there was a guy who got so drunk this guy was in turkey he's a 51 year old man and it kind of reminds me of you a little bit i guess you can relate because you've been drunk in situations just anywhere in the middle east just you they relate to me right yeah is that anything anymore i'm talking about the drinking part because you're a known drinker and you go [ __ ] hard yeah you don't have a drinking problem i wouldn't say like you don't drink every night but when you do drink you [ __ ] i like to have fun yeah yeah and everybody around you because i mean there's no point of like taking like drinking to to the what i mean the the taste of alcohol isn't good so like if i'm drinking i'm drinking to make myself feel better that's why everybody pretty much drinks because they that's how you know you're not an alcoholic because once you you really like have a problem you start enjoying that taste of it yeah but i mean don't get me wrong you can still have a problem with drinking like people that like drink and they get [ __ ] crazy and they do dumb [ __ ] and they stop drinking they they stop drinking because they did dumb [ __ ] when because they were drinking but like i feel like i never get to the point where like i do really you do i've seen you dumb [ __ ] but i'm saying you do it when it's like when people want to see dumb [ __ ] done exactly yeah the camera's on me when i'm drunk that's it game over so this um this situation this guy he's a 51 year old guy this is a good story zane you get a kick out of this drunk man reported missing joined search party for himself so this guy is a 51 year old man did he do it as a joke no he's a turkish man he's a turkish man he's a turkish man his name is he's a 51 year old guy he went drinking with his friends he stumbled into a forest out in the middle of turkey i don't know how you [ __ ] end up in the forest maybe they were just looking for yeah i know i really i really maybe they don't have like a saddle ranch or a place like we have to go to so they just went out to the forest nowhere else to drink yeah so this guy ended up getting shit-faced and he was out all night in this forest the one [ __ ] god knows what and then his wife doesn't see him for a day she panics and she's like well he went out drinking i'm worried and she starts a a search party for him and he wakes up now and he's like hallucinating he's like all like you know that next day like hang over you're like what the [ __ ] it was my name how did i even end up here and he's like oh there's a search party going on let me help out let me let me get in this yeah we'll try to find this guy yeah and they start yelling his name and he's like wait a second who else is named baehan [ __ ] mutulu you know yeah and i mean maybe there's that's a popular name in turkey i don't know but yeah he catches on that these people are all searching for me and he's in there [ __ ] searching with him so can can i guess what happens was he so embarrassed that he joined the search party because he he didn't want to be like found well i think well what do you do in that situation in that situation i would get up i would go join the search party because i don't want to be that's embarrassing do you just pretend like oh i'm not that guy let's keep searching or you like try to sneak off and be like oh [ __ ] go ahead keep searching i sneak off i joined the search party and play dead and just be like let them find you or just be like oh damn you found me you guys found me yeah you're my heroes i would let the wife know hey i'm joining the search party yeah she'd be confused at first but then she'll probably laugh oh so yeah why didn't he [ __ ] throw his wife a call you know what i don't think they have phones out there do that in turkey they don't have phones that's the middle of the course they gotta have nokias or something yeah i mean there's probably no service out there yeah this is bad yeah we're [ __ ] being racist kyle's gonna get pissed off if we keep this up that's fine we're not we're just kidding but can i tell you about can i tell you about something that happened to me well you want two weeks ago you want me to finish the the end off oh i thought that was that so basically after a while they said they were looking for bayern mutual and he heard his name he broke into a cold sweat when he heard his name and then he eventually just told them straight up he was like hey uh we're all out here searching for me last night did they believe him no they didn't no yeah and they got it eventually i mean he was found oh um a few weeks ago i was partying with uh jc and all them and i wake up in a kia soul the next day like across the street from his house i wake up i'm like oh no and i like the passenger seat and i check my pockets and my phone wallet keys all gone and my hat that's what's more important than anything else and i'm like holy [ __ ] what the [ __ ] happened i opened the car door and my phone my hat my keys my wallet were all lined up on the curb and i was like what the [ __ ] happened it was eight in the morning i get up and i see jc's house i was gonna walk in just and i was like you know what [ __ ] this i gotta go i don't wanna embarrass myself i'm walking at eight in the morning so i just called an uber i went home and i called everybody that was at the house and i was like hey does anybody own a kia soul and they're like no why i was like nobody at your house owns a kia soul like they're like no nobody owns a key so nobody has a key i don't know anybody with a kia well that night i got so drunk where i climbed into a stranger's car and i went to sleep it was actually a stranger's car imagine a family a family was going at disneyland i got arrested yeah b and e yeah breaking and entering yeah they would have they would have saw me sleeping and they would have called the cops grand theft auto they might have thought you were trying to steal oh yeah even if you get caught uh if you have the keys in the ignition and you fall asleep drunk in a car that's a dui oh no i didn't have it i didn't have any keys it was just you get in the car it was i think it was just open it was just open who lined up your stuff on the curb i did what the [ __ ] i was so drunk where i put my stuff outside of the car i i don't know what i think this story tops this [ __ ] guy over in turkey or i or i fell asleep on the street and somebody found me and they they're like you know what just sleep in my car you know what i mean nobody does that bro i don't know he's asleep in my car who who puts their [ __ ] especially drunk you i would never because drunk you is like funny if you know you and yeah you're friends with you and you get to watch you just [ __ ] be crazy but if you just met you while you're drunk i'm like let me get as far away from this guy as possible oh no of course i would too i would be as far away from myself as possible two days later everybody started tagging me in a post of some kids sleeping in a gray car and i freaked the [ __ ] out and i looked at the tick tock and it was somebody else but somebody like a mom woke up and she was like hey this is my car and this kid gets gets up obviously he was [ __ ] drunk and he was like what and she was like you're in my car and everybody was tagging me in it because they heard this oh did you tell this story on the i did it unfiltered story yeah i mean god damn it we need to get out more and do more stuff i know but like dude there's gonna be people that don't watch us and watch you that are gonna see this i guess it's exciting i feel like we've all been like doing our own things but we still hang out yeah it's just like yeah it's dissolved yeah the group the squad has dissolved i mean to be fair i've always hated the [ __ ] name yeah the name sucked it was the two worst words combined i never even made a vlog i i mean now we're doing them on patreon and they're fun they're fun to do the [ __ ] vlogs and we use all copyrighted music it's great that's what i heard you could do whatever the [ __ ] you want on patreon by accident we shot the behind the scenes of how we shot the first episode yeah because it was like a lot of um scripted stuff and like the stunts and all the things that we pulled so we shot behind the scenes and jonah was at the kebab restaurant and i had new jonah who's steven who's his replacement and jonah who's like beef is kind of like it's exaggerated for the content but who knows really what's going through his head yeah so we have steven go over and we're like stephen go [ __ ] with jonah like go go you know push his buttons yeah i'm like you're like i replaced you because you hate that yeah yeah and jonah is like you could tell he's getting like a little mad so stephen is like scared so he backs off and he's all right like i think you're better than me and like he freezes up yeah and like stephen you [ __ ] [ __ ] you better go back over there and do it again yeah and he goes over there he's like you know what [ __ ] you you want to see this dick look at this big [ __ ] dick and then he's like i mean it's it's and you left it up on patreon yeah i mean it was just him i thought can you put like can you post [ __ ] like that on patreon or is that only on only fans yeah no you can but you're not supposed to because okay it's not a good look did you get flagged is it still there i mean it probably is but it's like a little flash of like his you can barely even tell what it is it doesn't even look like a regular penis good so make sure to subscribe to just patreon you might get a sneak peek of steven's nuts yeah so we slipped that in there but it was nice to see them uh go at it steven was actually super excited that you left that in really yeah i talked to him yesterday have you seen the new episode the one with matt no the barbershop i brought back oh i watched the i watched the the ad and i immediately went off and texted you oh yeah yeah but i i didn't go back to watch the rest i i but i was watching it but i could not believe that they approved that yeah i get away with it i almost i almost got a little pissed because you should see the notes that i get from [ __ ] brands every time i do something they're like oh zane we don't like uh that you said this word i was like are you [ __ ] kidding me jeff had someone shoot somebody in his video and it was died in my man died in your video i i couldn't believe it and everything was [ __ ] this stephen get in the [ __ ] car you mess with the wrong [ __ ] i feel like you stain your ground when it comes to brains like brands come to me they're like hey we need this and this and this and you're just like well you know what my content is so if it's anything outside of my content then i'm not [ __ ] doing it no we don't even have those talks honestly they were just like you just do it and then if they don't here's the thing like that that bit you did with the current ad that would have been great with or without current in it so if current was just like [ __ ] this we hate it then i feel like you could have easily just took out those talking points and still did the intro i realized this i stole that whole bit from the barbershop movie the movie the barber shop the beginning of it they steal an atm machine and that's oh my god i didn't catch that no i've never i've never seen barbara no thank god nobody's seen it oh i mean not people have seen it i've seen it i like grew up on but it's like a very few amount of people that like notice that besides we're just making fun of it anyway yeah it's a parody he's giving a homage yeah homage exactly yeah yeah paying homage yeah exactly makes sense yeah so we did that uh we had that idea like they wanted to sponsor like a large chunk of the sh the season i'm trying to shoot and that's right now so that i'm not stressed out all year round and have to just like do a video and then you post it and you don't get to enjoy it at all because you're already on to the next one so i'm trying to figure out how to balance my life out and enjoy life while i'm i'm making stuff that i really love that's good and we shot that [ __ ] thing and they were cool with it i'm surprised they were cool with it we didn't write a script we didn't pitch like exactly what we were going to do we were just like we'll have it sent over once it's done yeah and they were cool with it some brands are cool some brands will [ __ ] tear apart every little thing like i did yeah that that's the relationship i had with old spice they were much more corporate and everything i did had like exact talking points i was like this is just i can't send in a script for the show i don't know what the [ __ ] i'm going to do the day of yeah you know when we robbed that 810 machine the only thing that we had planned in the script was tire screeching atm rips out a wall yeah and steven gets shot and the rest i mean all of our ideas and when it comes to concept everything is so last minute that's why you got to respect brands like [ __ ] current that literally just like go with the flow because there's no brands like that anymore yeah it's you have to give them credit for that and the fact that they're even like doing this like half the season like or sponsoring half the season yeah that's [ __ ] incredible because because 99 of the brands are not that cool and now i get to say [ __ ] like old spice gives you lice old spice gives you licenses they're going to [ __ ] probably hit me with a cease and desist exactly and you know what [ __ ] it i don't even have any [ __ ] money to come get and i feel like they're not that big yet right they're not like full like they're still pretty new current i don't give a [ __ ] i mean i don't i don't know exactly how how large their uh market cap is but i'm sure they're [ __ ] i mean they're giving me money to give to people which is pretty cool i think charles emelia's invested with current is she i think so i think one of the like one of those sick talkers are yeah like i heard it somewhere we're hyping this up too much wrong [ __ ] yeah wrong show to do it but look at i got my products coming out soon i know i saw i saw you posted an instagram picture yeah were you were you nervous the week leading up to your coffee launch yeah yeah it was i think the scariest part was not knowing if people are going to like it or buy it because you know everybody sells merch you know everybody sells like something in the sort of an emergency and you know you don't have to say their name on it exactly and you you know you don't really see youtubers doing coffee there's a i know there's a few that have done coffee but like normally youtubers don't do coffee and that was all heath and i wanted to do so we were [ __ ] terrified we were like yo if this bombs then like we're just there's nothing left that we'd want to like sell as a product that's all we because we merch has always been like this weird thing where we're like uh we don't want to do merch we want to do something that we really enjoy we use this product every day and we want to be able to be a part of it i have [ __ ] like no joke like 10 coffees a day i think i got a problem yeah as i kick some addictions i pick up others and i've been slammed i slammed down all your crota's thank you well they're all gone and i've been drinking [ __ ] store-bought [ __ ] now but yeah coffee's coffee you know but i love that you made your own thing that you're passionate about and this is same thing with me i've been saying i wanted to make hair products since i'm like 13 years old and my sister got me my first hair gel and she did my hair and i was like i knew it from that point on that that was going to be my thing you know we need to release with this i mean you really release it but you need to release this like soon because everybody [ __ ] uses it i'll use it but shampoo and conditioner oh that no we're getting there it's a [ __ ] everyday thing we're going to get into oh do you use it two in one oh i use it if it's there i use a two in one now i want to make the first like luxury two in one but i'm also gonna do that other like is there no luxury two in one it's just tough because they do opposite things one strips your hair of everything and one's trying to moisturize it exactly it's tough to mix those two but whatever this isn't a goddamn [ __ ] chemistry course so yeah you buy the products and they come out to be on a couple months we're doing the first drop with these two just to test the waters these are the actual things i use in my hair the only things right now and then we'll get into the shampoo conditioner hair oil every the whole [ __ ] shebang would wave caps also like that's what i'm saying if my [ __ ] flops and say like somebody sabotages my my the palettes of the product over there and they put a bunch of [ __ ] i don't know what would you put in anthrax yeah somebody hacks into that are you putting air in it that'd be fun oh my god if somebody sabotaged my [ __ ] and yeah my first ever product everyone's just bald how do i know i'm not specifically sending those out yeah each person checking them for nair and anthony it all it takes one person in that lab to not like you yeah and i've i've tested these mixes i've gone back and forth to labs [ __ ] 17 times to make sure they're perfect but somebody could [ __ ] sabotage you at any time and then one person makes a video a bad review and could [ __ ] my whole life's work up because i can't go back to selling weed i can't go back to doing crime no dude you're past that you're passing out i've already made myself into a clown on the internet yeah and nobody's gonna [ __ ] pay me my dough or take you seriously yeah exactly i need to [ __ ] make an example out of somebody exactly i need you do you know what we want to see we want to see you at the lab make making this product yeah that would be funny i think that's a whole video right there yeah we could do a lot of fun stuff like you're [ __ ] like you're mixing [ __ ] and just explosions just trying to make something for hair which is like yeah yeah i love that i love all those ideas of like going down there and like now this is this is my new career yeah this is the the long-term one yeah the long-term plan this is is the products but um when are they coming out they come out october 20th and i was worried about like the come back at the barbershop because now it's in a new set it's a new style yeah and like are people going to [ __ ] with it or they're going to hate on it i'm already too deeply invested you're gonna [ __ ] with anything that you are deeply passionate about well they're gonna have problems with the change i think everybody hates change you get used to it and yeah you know you don't have a choice yeah this is [ __ ] it i can't go back to jonas i can't go maybe i could go back and open a barber shop or something but i love the idea of being mobile and getting out on the road and i think you'll get more [ __ ] done and you'll be able to like have like cooler guests on because you'll just pick up people on the side of the road or you'll just like you'll be in this random [ __ ] town and yeah some crazy person's just like the [ __ ] you got going on here you're like a barber shop hop on in and you just click the [ __ ] record button like that's something i would much rather watch just like out of the blue just people just hopping out of nowhere it just makes it fun again exactly yeah it's exciting it's just so much so many things that are coming out all at once a lot of build up and i was just nervous about it i was a little stressed but i'm getting different different is good though it's good you should be excited yeah yeah i'm changing things up and it feels good i know we put out uh a request for video questions for zayn oh that's fun i did this with matt and yeah i saw i saw and we had requested hate for them and we said send nice things for you oh that's nice okay zayn what i want to know is what was it like when you left one direction like do you realize what you did you literally broke everyone's [ __ ] heart what the [ __ ] so see i think what's going on here i i expected this to happen explain that to me you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] okay [ __ ] off okay look you see here's the thing yeah sorry i don't know i mean she got the wrong guy it's disrespectful i saw a mistake i wouldn't take it i wouldn't take it personally so make it you know making all those songs i mean obviously harry and um and uh liam and uh i think niall niall they're i mean they were truly the best to work with and you know we made [ __ ] hits and we're making so much money but like i decided to take a step back humble myself and come up with a podcast what happened to you called zayna heath on youtube you changed your accent you really adapted to the american slang yeah i think you lost that accent zayn he has a british accent yeah bro they're all from the uk they're all [ __ ] wait i thought he was arab oh air people can be have a uh damn no no no everyone can have a british eye sitting in the chair i just noticed that now looks like i'm sitting in there with you i'm looking at you directly and i've been blocking myself out it's funny my left eye was always kind of a little [ __ ] up yeah you always had a little little like like a twinch but bro look at your old hairline this is insane that's crazy do you ever wake up and appreciate your hair 100 yeah bro that hair transplant was the best decision i've ever made yeah i mean i think we're going we're going to go back me heath and ellie we want to go to turkey for hair transplants you want to do more out there really is there a better deal on there it's um well we found this company who wants to do it for us for free no uh like i went to their page and the work that they've done is insane they're good at search parties too they found that guy exactly exactly so if they're good at search parties there must be greater hair transplants and they're actually the country for hair trends people fly all the way out there are you trying to have bro you're trying to get that whole forehead dude i want to dude i want to have like a head of hair like you and todd for sure you're trying to get that hairline to connect your eyebrows yeah it's hard to walk around with both you next to me like you have [ __ ] this beautiful luxurious area and i'm sitting here with [ __ ] three ball spots we're gonna go to turkey and get [ __ ] hair plugs next time you see us we're gonna have our whole face is gonna be covered in hair or not just just around our eyes you're just gonna see white eyes and we're just gonna look like those guys i'm gonna bring my hairline down to here yeah yeah that's what the women like yeah hair lines down to your [ __ ] a lot of women like unibrows too i think i might bring that back really is a thing can you even grow one oh yeah i would if i wasn't if i didn't plug it oh you [ __ ] that natural good job no i plucked it if i do if i let this [ __ ] go i'd have a full [ __ ] unibrow todd on the other end todd todd's whole face would be covered in hair todd no todd yeah that's what todd's face would look like if he didn't shave todd's nose grows hairs on it sometimes because i look at him so close when we're on the hikes and the bright sunlight and i see little hairs come growing out of his nose todd has to get his whole face waxed to look have that beautiful appearance of his dude that looks like jonah if he lost weight he literally literally does he he has the neck bridge i was able to connect it so yeah i'm sure jonah probably looks like that too but yeah that's real people out there have that i bet you're jealous yeah that's crazy oh i'm really jealous i i wish i could pluck all those hairs off his face and put it in my head get those implanted yeah 100 look how [ __ ] nice and healthy that hair is what did the first procedure do well no it looks fine now but i think i've gotten to the point where i keep looking i'm just like i could use more yeah you're addicted bro yeah just just well i mean i only did it i only did it once i told scott today because scott was complaining oh he went on a hike after he looked at the apartment and he was complaining about his rib he was like i when i did the crate challenge i hurt my leg and i bruised my bone there and i bruised my rib when i was wrestling my brother drunk and he's like i just can't wait to [ __ ] wake up not hurting i was just like [ __ ] deal with it bro just [ __ ] suck it up and deal with it everybody's got issues and he's like oh i forgot about your [ __ ] accent i wasn't even talking about that because like i i feel good now you know yeah you don't notice when you're healing you only notice the bad [ __ ] yeah focus on the bad thing so he's focusing on his on his injuries but just [ __ ] deal with it don't [ __ ] complain about it and then in a week from now you won't even notice it and you'll be complaining about something else exactly i mean i don't have enough money in my bank account all right come on come on hey this is [ __ ] up that's insane where is that wait how'd you get that picture i took it wow this is do you want this literally is this embarrassing uh we could take it down have you not seen the [ __ ] i've posted on my instagram it's worse than this but it is crazy look at that dude it looks like i got burned this was like the day before because you came and got a haircut hold on hold on hold on this [ __ ] is upstairs on the stairs and he's too old to walk down so i have to carry him down oh is it he's barking at you just to carry him down he's getting too old jeff i think it's time to let him go this episode is sponsored by raycon there's so much going on in the world whether it's stuff you're excited about like you know going for a hike because it's what i get most excited for or stuff you'd rather not think about like my mental health and you know going nuts and do a nerf 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as good and raycons come with a 45-day happiness guaranteed right now listeners can get 15 off their raycon order at byracon.com jeff at them that's by raycon.com yeah baby recon dot com slash jefferson okay this episode is also sponsored by avast i would like to thank avast for supporting my channel a vast new all-in-one solution a vast one helps you take control of your safety and privacy online through a range of features learn more about a vast one at avast.com now look if you're like me and you got tons of stuff that you're hiding on your computer and you don't want people to find out about because it could be detrimental to your life and career and your relationships with your family then you're going to want to get a vast because avast is an award-winning antivirus that stops viruses and malware from harming your devices data breach monitoring enabling you to find out if your online accounts have been compromised and whether or not your passwords need to be changed it's got 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that all jokes aside i really do this episode of jeff fm this episode of jeff fm is brought to you by what's going to be there's too many jeff ffm jeff ffm this episode of jeff fm is brought to you by better help betterhelp is customized online therapy that offers video phone and even live chat sessions with your therapist so you don't have to see anyone on camera if you don't want to it's much more affordable than in-person therapy and you can start communicating with your therapist in under 48 hours unload the stressors and get some unbiased feedback you'd be pretty surprised at what you might gain from it see if it's for you this podcast is sponsored by betterhelp and jeffm listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com jeff fm that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p dot com jeff fm damn you're a good reader bro thanks man well he read fast dude where'd you go to school florida yeah and they taught you how to read out there i know how to read i just don't know how to do comprehension obviously guys you just read super fast but you don't know what is your reading yeah i don't know what i'm reading sometimes sometimes i do that with books i'll be like you know what i'm just killing it blazing through pages and i'm like wait i don't i don't even pay attention any of that yeah my brain is like completely [ __ ] when's the last time you read a book middle school why don't you go over to matt king's room and take some of those [ __ ] dr seuss books he reads why the [ __ ] would i do that those dr seuss books are hard and you know i can't pronounce afterwards experience out of it exactly you just did a hundred episodes of your podcast yeah we just we just filmed our 100th episode did you ever think you would make it that far absolutely not i thought we were gonna stop and quit at three did you and heath ever have like a big argument being like [ __ ] you i'm gonna do this [ __ ] on my own no no never no i because i feel like we know we need each other to do this and like we like to do we like doing it with each other yeah yeah when we know we're in that room and we're just like [ __ ] having fun [ __ ] around it's there's nothing better yeah there's nothing better than that and we really we really love doing it and yeah i'm just going to love it all the time yeah no it's it's fun it's fun and we um we could see ourselves doing it forever yeah we'll never stop yeah uh okay here we go boston high school forced to use party bus with stripper poles for field trip because i guess all the other party buses or those other school buses were occupied yeah they're i mean i think it's like shortage shortage yeah now you've spent your fair share of time on party buses oh yeah and a lot of them do come along with these stripper poles and it does feel a little [ __ ] scummy inappropriate you're actually in a montage licking the pole this is post cove it's so nuts to see we don't have to we don't have to revisit that you're just licking a pole like it looks like a subway pole that you hold on to and you were just licking it and that's just a different version that was before that was before kova too i this is another experience of yours with a stripper pole now i hope these kids don't end up engaging in this type of activity especially on a field trip because this ended terribly for you there you go having a good time going to school on the field trip and then boom dead yeah did you crack your head i was gonna keep going like out like i was i was bound to fall at some point i'm a [ __ ] idiot tripper poles are a dangerous thing they are i hope they remove them from that party bus happy school bus you should go stripper pool like accidents compilation it's it's unbelievable yeah yeah half of them are used we have any other uh things for zane hey jeff and zayn it's jane um looking at this picture and i was thinking why does that brown boy look so familiar and then i realized oh my god that's saint malach famous pop singer i had a really important question to ask you where'd you get your start like how did you start all this i'm really interested in that okay today this is what we have to work with because we put out a late notice this was like a late replacement fill in i honestly wanted to get mariah on here today why'd you to be honest i was trying to make it seem like you wanted to be like a staten island sopranos thing she was gonna walk in i was gonna be like oh quesadish and then we were gonna get all [ __ ] you know uh i got my ghoul like you stupid jerk how was the [ __ ] movie but you know i'm always i'm always the last last minute man man no you're you're a big draw but only mariah i'm not in it for just for numbers i want to talk sopranos i want to talk [ __ ] tony soprano i wanted to get into that movie but you know this is what we got to work with how'd you get your start and are you zane [ __ ] malek yeah you know everyone's not a banger everyone's not and i don't want to already [ __ ] be negative about your episode here i was wondering why i was i mean what the [ __ ] do you want to do you want to come here and talk about squid game like every other podcast oh yeah i don't want to talk about squid oh yeah it's the best show ever it's killing it with [ __ ] netflix's biggest show ever yeah i don't give a [ __ ] about squid games sorry you little [ __ ] squid game fans i'm seeing youtube squads doing squid game um really die if you're going to do that really [ __ ] have one of your friends die because it's not real life squid game because they die or if you're gonna if you're gonna do the squid games like video make it better than the [ __ ] show like go go above and beyond put money into it and make it a [ __ ] insane video exactly and do it in english just for my own personal preference i don't speak korean okay don't keep your woke mouth shut kyle this is my own personal preference i'm calling it now that mr visa is going to make him yeah mr b and he better kill his friends if he's going to do that they better [ __ ] get shot down yeah i agree because otherwise i'm going to go to that video because if they like dude the whole world would be talking about that mr beast killed all his friends for this squid games video or if he got like big youtubers on it i bet you david could have [ __ ] killed that if i mean literally if oh yeah this is post crane yeah before he was like well no you didn't know that crane was actually number one this was the first game yeah i lost oh no i won i'm alive no you won yeah i'm alive dave david is the game david was the game master is there a game master i gotta watch this show before i come on podcast and talk about i don't even know if that's what they're called i doubt people come to me for squid game reviews oh answer go ahead not that it [ __ ] matters you're not beef no no no no i want i was hoping it would be up there oh do you want to put them up there um no hey what are you doing jeff's podcast hello david hello yo what's going on if you guys want after what do you want to do you want to go party tonight what what do you say you want to do a hot tub stream tonight no come by on that's that's karena's job come by if you want to uh if you guys want a hot tub after are you are you seriously calling us the hot tub yeah but the boys are here they planned a hot tub tonight and they're like yo okay i'm sorry i called no it's cool bro that's that's how you organize the laptop david normally invites me over for the hot tub when he's by himself is that what you guys do yeah it's not weird it's just boys hanging out jeff okay i mean we do a lot of boy things i could use a good old hot tub night with the boys all right well just don't make it weird just come back do you guys wear clothes and when you're in this hot tub or is it bathing suits or is it full nudity we start the night with bathing suits but when the conversations start flowing the clothes start coming off okay hey i'm down to try anything i'll be there shortly i'll get my shorts get out the boat get out the poker set it's already out we're playing poker that tonight playing strip poker tonight this is [ __ ] some behind-the-scene [ __ ] you don't film this this is not for anything no is this a real thing you guys do hot tub nights uh i'm probably in his hot tub once every like few weeks is jonah in this tub i always feel weird when i'm in a hot tub yeah and you know his ass is pissing in there and stuff yeah and i don't mind like i get you pee in a pool but you pee in a hot tub that's [ __ ] up yeah you're in that little space and you and you know like because he eats so much oils you could see his piss just like on the top of the series yeah oh my god that's [ __ ] gross how many men are in this tub at a time six to eight round 11 to 12. really i'm kidding no it's uh when i'm in there it's probably like what three to four well i don't want to [ __ ] cut this short but you got to [ __ ] hit the hot tub hot tub night isn't a priority i don't need to do hot tub oh no you thought i was going to get up and just end this show to go to a [ __ ] hotel leaving us right now to go [ __ ] you know what no it's because uh jonah why would i do that keeps priority so he thinks that you're the same yeah i'm just so used to jonah anytime he gets a call from david he's just like you gotta go dave needs to film a bit and then he's in the background of a [ __ ] doritos ad oh his instagram story no no i i i give us some music guys to get us going because sometimes we need to get a little into the okay [Music] it's good to see my boy zayn again this was nice um if you guys are fight fans i hope you enjoy the heavyweight boxing championship title fight tyson fury deante wilder hopefully i'll get out there and i'll be able to see it in person i need to get out of the house more and get out and start doing stuff meeting people making new friends relationships network coming here with some nice fresh stories for you guys you know just get out there with my my friends because there's nothing i enjoyed more in life when i was just cruising around with zayn creating content making you guys laugh making good videos for you guys nothing i love more than that and a good old good old baseball game can't believe i gave up those tickets [ __ ] stupid move that would have been such a nice story to tell here i just watched this show on netflix called jailbirds it's about like women in jail and did it just come out it's it's good it's like a reality show but it's edited like a drama like they go into like the relationships and like oh really oh that's but it's real it's like a real reality show and sometimes they'll show the guys side because it's all in like like floors there's like the guy's floor and then up above it is the women's floor so yeah separated but you could talk through the toilets so if you drain like you uh bail out all the water out of your toilet yeah you could talk through the pipes so it's like having a cell phone you could talk to your cell mate that's a like uh of the opposite sex through the toilet they call it toilet talk oh that's romantic yeah nice nice sound like a good time nice love story over there yeah so there's like relationships happening and there's this guy dalla in there the way he talks he's like so smooth he's like an rmbc his name is dallas his name is dolly like one dollar yeah yeah and he's talking to all the girls and he's got like five relationships going on at once and i don't want to spoil the show i mean are there all the girls using the same toilet to talk to the same guy yeah the same guy and then all the girls go out to yard and they're all talking about it and like damn i'm about to see my bullets and like wait wait how do they take out the water the toilet yeah they take you guys thinking about doing it in there trying to talk to jonah downstairs how do you clear out the toilet like how do they do that if you take your little dixie cup your water cup and you just scoop out water and there's still water on the uh like you can't take all the water out no you can so you it's like i don't know i've never done this like i've been in jail for [ __ ] a few months and i never got into toilet talk and they didn't have that option where i was at because i was in dorms but they yeah you have a toilet in your thing and you can bail all the water out you take all the water out of it and they do the same thing below you so they take all the water out of the pipes yeah and you just dump it down the drain in the cell or whatever and you can fish [ __ ] down so you take your t-shirt you take these things on your t-shirt like the threads and you make little ropes out of that and you can put a little spoon on it and they drop their spoon string down and the other person drops their spoon string up and then you have a connection and then you can pull up contraband knives [ __ ] notes pictures so dalla was sending out the same picture of himself like looking all [ __ ] cool on the street and then all these girls in the jail had the same photo and they're all outside like bragging they're like oh yeah i got i'm in love i got my boo like we're you know all we care about is each other we're soul mates and they all show the same picture a dollar and this [ __ ] got so much this is real started a riot with all the girls in the jail they all start fighting each other like all the girls got put on lockdown like solitary confinement this isn't like one [ __ ] dollar and you're not even getting it he's just playing mental games like he's not even dating these girls and hooking up with them i mean he's bored he's [ __ ] saving yourself just like everybody else and he's got this whole system where he's got like all these dixie cups down to his toilet so he's just a player on the toilet like just using his toilet as a phone damn you gotta give credit to him what a smooth [ __ ] he's breaking hearts through a toilet like he has never even met any of these women he's he got them fighting over him yeah he's keeping himself entertained and he acts like he likes it in jail and all this [ __ ] like i normally hate watching jail shows because it just like it's just depressing yeah but this show's done really well it's called jailbirds did you only watch one episode or did you watch it like the whole season and at the end of the season they get out and it shows them on the street and you're like it's like a happy ending kind of it's like a really well-known show for them to make like like follow people around can i ask is one of the episodes where this girl gets um sent to a prison and she like killed her kid or something and they all found out and they all like forced her out of there is that one of those episodes i think it's all they're all in there for kind of like minor offenses oh actually there's one girl in there 17 that was charged from like an accomplice to murder and he was the only one that had like the most serious charge and there was one guy who's like a1 and he's like in there for life and he's also another player but the guys in there are just like [ __ ] playing all the girls but it's just such an interesting dynamic is there like seniorities like i've been i'm i'm here all my life like i get yeah yeah you work your way up the notches you know you you get up there and i'm sure like you know you get you get special benefits you get a job in prison or they're in jail so they're waiting to get sentenced or they're fighting a case and it's usually a max like you're not in there for more than a year unless you're fighting a case they're like waiting to go to trial then you can go overboard but yeah i mean jail's just like a [ __ ] crazy place so many people go in and out of it and it's just wild how they all know of each other like you get to get out and they come back in and they're like hey you back yeah [ __ ] like a whole nother community that just is like doesn't it's not even like real life it's just it was nuts first show i got through the whole thing in a while so i don't know maybe i need to go back to jail have you ever thought about going back just for like no as like you know how people go back to jail like they they pretend they're one of the well 80 of people are return offenders when you get arrested and you do time eighty percent of those people end up back in jail about you yeah so no i meant like go back no go back as a as a you're posing as an inmate for like documentary purposes like would you ever want to go back there just uh oh yeah ah it's a miserable place it's just so boring if i went back there to film a reality show in there yeah i would do the content of course but no i wouldn't want to just go back because there's so many hours like we get to see them when they're filming the show and i'm sure you get a little boost of like oh like a cameraman filming me like when you're in jail they make you feel like a piece of [ __ ] animal at all times yeah they take your name away from you they call you inmate number so and so by the time the the second the camera is on you're like damn i'm a human again you're treated as a celebrity i'm an entertainer and they loved it it seemed like it made their time go by quicker which would have been nice for me to have a reality show follow me around dude imagine you're a you you were in jail and you had a camera on you dude you'd be bro barbershop i was just cutting hair the whole time every day i would wake up they would just give me clippers and i would just give people a haircut for a ramen noodle soup and i would build up i would do like say 10 to 12 haircuts a day yeah that's 12 soups each soup was like 50 cents a pop wow so i would make like six dollars a day from cutting hair six dollars a day goes a long way in jail like you can eat good i could i could [ __ ] basically run the whole joint making that much money like six dollars a day six dollars a day i could have honey buns i could have literally whatever i want i was running a card game yeah i would have a poker game and like i bought the deck of cards and the chips and stuff like that we make fake chips out of paper or whatever yeah but yeah i was able to do a lot of stuff do you ever give a bad haircut in jail well they give you only one clipper you don't have scissors you don't have straight razors obviously everyone slice people up but no you have one clipper and a comb and you have to learn to make that work so experience i learned so much from because i had to learn to work with what i had and i still use that till this day like even when we shot the last barbershop episode that's coming out this week i had this [ __ ] huge star terrifying guy and i didn't have my tools because it was like one of our first episodes we shot yeah and i had to make it work with what i got and this guy is a [ __ ] multi-millionaire like so particular about his hair and little a guy with a [ __ ] up eye oh no me i'm talking about it with the [ __ ] up i don't i don't know you know i like to build up the guests and have like a oh oh it's not uh no it'll be out on i think wednesday but okay yeah so this guy was like i mean i i just didn't have the proper tools so i had to and he's black so that's like a complete different technique to cut hair yeah with white people you against the grain with black people you go with the green depending on how their they style their hair yeah so having kind of i haven't cut a black man in a while in a while yeah you know i don't cut hair like that anymore but i used to work in a shop that i was like 50 50. like yeah you know so i'm used to it and it's like riding a bike you come right back to it but i didn't have all my clippers and my tools and i wasn't prepared for it so i was just like [ __ ] stalling and trying to figure it out i feel i felt like i was doing a jail cut was he is was he expecting like a good haircut like a nice haircut no he was pissed he was like i don't i don't want to do his accent because i'm going to give it away yeah he was he was [ __ ] picky and he was like stressed out i mean it makes for the show that's what the show is that's fun i'm excited to come out if i had like a [ __ ] buzzer to your head the whole time and you were like at risk of like losing me like shaving your head off that's like a six month change to your appearance well you did shave my head off i did shave your head because it's because stupid blonde hair fried up blonde hair halfway grown out i [ __ ] like you gotta let go of it you gotta lose it either don't have two-toned hair it was why you had four months of growing out brown hair and then blonde hair at the tip just lose that [ __ ] start fresh it's healthier for your hair trust me i know what i'm doing i did not i did not look healthy when i was [ __ ] bald and then i was and we were back then we were giving you the old spice products so you should get checked for lice yo i looked on old spices twitter and they were replying to a lot of complaints people were adding uh old spice on twitter saying their deodorant was giving them chemical burns oh that's a new way let's try to try to get something that rhymes and then that'll be a new slogan for us well yeah that's like that's like a legit thing they're still replying to like all these tweet complaints to them because they have a aluminum in their deodorant you're going to learn old spice deodorant gives you burns i don't use old spice though yeah that's it's good i'm only going to use jeff's barbershops well you could for now you just have to rub that pomade in your armpits yeah because i don't have because you decided to do pomade and spray when i need [ __ ] shampoo and conditioner this [ __ ] will work great for you and then we're coming around be quick about it because i need shampoo bro we're moving we're [ __ ] going straight into the movie i can't wait for my hair to just naturally grow good because of your shampoo i don't have to go to turkey to get a hair plug zane um i know you've been here for hours and you've got to get the hot tub night i'm not going a hot tub yeah right whatever we [ __ ] oh i'm home every night i don't go out anymore you want to sing this with me for the end [Applause] can i get one too do it again do it again all right thank you guys for tuning in i uh i appreciate it i appreciate all of you thank you for uh listening to our mental problems and thank you baron with us for another week here we will get our [ __ ] together just we'll do it next week all right we'll [ __ ] get our [ __ ] together do it at our own pace

Channel: JEFF FM

Views: 446,105

Keywords: Jeff Wittek, Jeff's barbershop, Jeff FM, podcast, views, impaulsive, frenemies, h3h3, vlog squad, david dobrik, zane hijazi, zane, heath, unfiltered podcast

Id: y424pBGZJnk

Length: 57min 7sec (3427 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 11 2021