Your Anime Sucks: Sword Art Online II (Part 1)

October is the month for horror and you know what that means right now let's make one thing clear this is not a fair and balanced unbiased review of sword art online 2's gun Gale online Arc I do not see any value in that kind of review to begin with and you will find nothing like it on my channel moreover let it be known right here and now that I have never hated anything with the level of fervor and passion that I hate sword art online this is the kind of hatred that has come around full circle to being loved you may find yourself asking if you hate this show so much why watch it why take so much time out of your life to rag on it and the answer is simply that I love a hating sword online and believe me there is plenty of demand for this kind of video in case you missed it I've already made an hour-long analysis detailing why I hated the first season you don't necessarily need to watch that video if you're just here to sit back and laugh at this show with me but I do recommend checking it out if you want to get an idea of the mindset I'm approaching this show with and also just a witness one of my all-around best analytical videos I won't pretend to understand this obsession of mine honestly I think stored online may have broken me somehow I'm really not used to watching bad shows all the way to the conclusion and most of the time when I drop a show I actually do so expecting that it probably gets better later I never would have imagined that a show I had first found to be mediocre and dropped after 6 episodes would turn out to be the most vile trash I've ever consumed in my life but let's backpedal a bit here and address some concerns that viewers had about my last video a lot of people were upset by the fact that I gave sword online a 1 out of 10 score people have tried to rationalize with me their reasoning for why the show deserves a better score or that I might have some kind of broken and stupid scoring system some have even said that if I think Sao is that bad there must be very few anime out there which I can actually enjoy that one I would chalk up to the accusers having seen very little anime as I can quite easily name hundreds of shows that I enjoyed more than Sao I'd also like to point out that I have given out every score from ten to one and still found that sword art online is at the bottom I will admit that there were things about Sao that I kind of enjoyed I liked asanas character design a lot and found the general look of ein Craig kind of appealing the animation quality was pretty high in a few scenes although I would argue that it can lately goes to waste because of the shitty fight direction but there are some memorable sakuga moments in the show plus as mentioned in my review I actually enjoyed the romance between asana and Kirito in like the two or three scenes that they actually made a decent couple sword art online is not the least enjoyable show that I've watched in recent enough memory to grade it that dishonored goes to Armitage that their dual matrix however I gave Armitage a 2 out of 10 because even though it was horrendously boring it never managed to offend me other than in the fact that it wasted my time meanwhile whereas I probably would have given Sao a 2 or a 3 if it had ended with the AI Incred Ark I was so put off by all the ridiculous asana rape scenes in the Alfheim Ark that I took the score back down to a 1 that is to say that the negative aspects of Sao so overwhelmingly outweighed the positives that even the few things I did like about the series were not enough to raise it score above a film in which I found nothing even remotely enjoyable moving along another complaint I got a lot of on my last video was that I didn't understand the reasoning behind Kirito announcing himself as a beader at the end of episode 2 basically the idea was that Kirito was trying to divert all of the hatred towards beta testers onto himself in order to protect them and I admit that I [ __ ] up in my video by failing to grasp this somehow however this doesn't make it any less [ __ ] and narrative ly broken first of all no one actually knows who the beaters are exactly so they still end up doubting anyone who's overly powerful as evidenced both in the dialogue of certain episodes and in that Kirito has to hide his power level moreover I still stand by that the most intelligent course of action would have been to just have a [ __ ] conversation like a normal human being and sort [ __ ] out instead of trying to become the Batman and failing I acknowledge that I made a mistake in the last video and I hate myself for doing it because every stupid Sao fanboy who gets to that part screams at me that my whole analysis is wrong completely ignoring the other 50 odd minutes of legitimate criticism based on that one little mistake that even when corrected does not in any way improve my opinion of the show so anyways I said before that I wasn't going to watch sword art online too but my brother Victor and his friend Hope who both hated the first season just as much as I did thought it might be fun to watch season two and make fun of it the whole time and I knew that it would make for a great video series so we filmed ourselves doing it unfortunately we only got to do three episodes before Aniplex started pulling them down for copyright infringement so I thought [ __ ] it I give up we got someone who had read the novel's to explain to us the bafflingly stupid plot of gun Gale online had a laugh got over it at least we would have were it not for the fact that somehow gun Gale online began to heal the series's reputation which Alfheim had shattered even though I watched the same first three episodes that everyone else did which were some of the most straight boring and badly written episodes of anime I've seen all year I saw people on 4chan and Twitter buzzing about how it was showing a lot of promise already better than Alfheim and had an interesting character in the form of sheen on wait who that cardboard cutout I flipped off at Otakon really so here I am again 1,300 words deep into the longest video introduction ever and if you stuck around this far then welcome aboard my friends because the ride never ends whereas with season 1 I broke everything down into major points that I wanted to tackle with season 2 I've decided to take a different approach and tear the series of parts scene by scene in a way similar to the your movie sucks reviews of The Walking Dead assuming you've seen my last video you should already have a good basis of what my major problems are with this series as a whole so here we'll be bouncing off of those points by analysing how badly the show [ __ ] up on a moment-to-moment basis so without further ado let's get it on or personal Bourne the first episode is called the world of guns which would actually sound kind of rad if I didn't know any better it opens up with some legitimately [ __ ] awesome cityscape shots before diving into this little bar now I don't have a problem with this little bar I like bars but I'm just gonna put this little counter here on screen for a second and I'll explain it later all the patrons of this bar appear to be wearing noob armor which happens to look almost exactly like the new armor from sword art online everyone's tuned in to this video cast where top players are being interviewed inside the game kind of seems a name to watch this kind of thing while inside of a game world but I know people who actually picture-in-picture Netflix while playing their xbox one so I guess I kinda get it though in that case there at least playing the game and not just sitting around in a virtual bar watching videos whatever this blue haired douchebag is explaining that for eight months agility based builds have been dominating the game but for some reason recently strength builds are now starting to gain more traction when I first heard this I assumed that the game must have been patched recently to nerf agility builds but if this was true players would probably be [ __ ] rioting as basically happens when anything changes in League of Legends especially if it's is hard to change your build as this guy is implying they don't mention any patches though so my next assumption is that something new was learned about the fundamentals of the game caused this change sort of like when wavedashing was discovered in super smash brothers melee and it came to completely define the way that professionals played the game either way most of the best players would probably change their build immediately even if it's a game where you can't respect your character high level players probably make a bunch of characters with different specs anyways I've watched my little brother go through a ton of path of exile builds which are exceedingly easy to [ __ ] up if you don't know what you're doing basically unbothered by how much grinding it takes to get a new character up to a decent level it's just what MMO players do that said I can't possibly imagine players getting into a game where it takes eight [ __ ] months to be able to make a high tier build you'd basically be trapped into one build forever so if you did anything wrong or anything changed about the game as is the case in this show you'd be completely [ __ ] which is exactly what happened to all of the agility players this wouldn't just be grounds for strength players to mouth off it would more likely be the death of this game as something which anyone played seriously and people would move on to the next one anyways this [ __ ] death gun gets up and starts mouthing off and I guess the people on the other side of the screen can hear him for some reason because they all stop talking death gun shoots the screen and seconds later Zechs seed starts grabbing his heart and falls over dead hmm an item which when used on someone makes them die of a heart attack moments later with death in the name what does that remind me of oh right it's death note they ripped off Death Note but with a gun also can we just talk about the name death gun as opposed to what life gun honestly this is one of those things that's so dumb I kind of love it so we'll leave it at that now we cut to best girl Asuna who helpfully tells us the month and year just in case we weren't sure when this takes place she wonders what's the difference between the real world in the virtual world to which Kirito replies the amount of information now I suppose if you could manipulate the brain to experience a virtual world in a way that's indistinguishable from the real world then from your perspective it would seem to be identical but I think there's a lot more separating actual real world existence from virtual existence than just information for one thing the real world doesn't disappear during a power outage admittedly this first little exchange between them is kind of cute where they realize they're wearing their old SAO colors it reminded me that I like this couple once briefly Kirito then starts detailing how the East Park of the Imperial Palace it's like its own little closed off world which has its own closed-circuit security isn't allowed to be flown over or tunneled beneath and is basically isolated from the outside I tried looking into this to see if it's true of the modern Imperial Palace but I couldn't come up with any info on it when I first saw the scene I assumed since it came out of nowhere that it was some kind of plot foreshadowing and that the closed-off nough sub this place would be significant but I was wrong apparently it's because this place reminds Kirito of the floating castle from pine crab you know that place for all those thousands of people died in a gigantic tragedy how romantic Asuna asks Kirito about his plans for the future and he clarifies his previous statement about information to indeed be about individual perception of reality while explaining that he wants to eventually develop new technology to improve the function of augmented reality and make it so he and asuna can live with youí as if she were real now I think this is pretty fine as a motivation but I thought it was odd that Kirito suddenly has this ambition which we've never heard about before as it turns out the explanation for this lies in accel world the series which got Reki Kawahara popular and allowed sort of online to finally get published and continued professionally accel world actually takes place in Sao future and is based around the very VR technology which Kirito goes on to create in other words if Kirito wasn't enough of an absolute God in his own story he even lays the foundation of accel world - we are hearing about it now because this volume was released after accel world was well underway so Kawahara is basically retconning Kirito into eventually creating that technology at 8 minutes and 40 seconds into the episode Kirito walks into this little diner the counter again he's here to meet some guy who apparently works for cyber Connect I mean the virtual division whatever that is we launch into a [ __ ] insanely massive exposition dump the likes of which are rarely seen seriously this blows the [ __ ] walking in circles scene from fate zero out of the water and that scene at least was so ridiculous to look at that it was entertaining in its own way these two just sit around dumping exposition half of which we could easily have inferred from the opening scene for what feels like an eternity Kirito comments that gun Gale online is the only Japanese game with players which just seems preposterous to me considering there are Japanese games with professional players in existence already in the middle of it all we get this [ __ ] amazing visualization of death gun firing a bullet through someone's Ethernet port which flies around the room mr. mosquito style and murder someone in their bed when I first saw this scene I couldn't stop laughing for minutes on end the fact that it's actually really well animated but looks so [ __ ] ridiculous just makes it all the more perfect Kirito then explains that in gun Gale online you can exchange your in-game currency for real-world currency which is why there are so many passionate high level players once again this is something that happens in MMOs in real life already but not on official terms that said I can't imagine how or why this system would actually work in an official capacity when people sell in-game funds to another person it's a trade of one currency for another but Kirito implies that in this game you straight-up payout the points you've earned for cash it makes sense to have a system like this in a casino where you only win if you're lucky and you get kicked out for winning too much but I don't understand how a game developer can afford to consistently pay its players often far more than what those players are paying for their subscription fees apparently the top players are making 200 to 300 thousand yen a month which is like two to three thousand dollars how can this system possibly function by the way is that Steve Jobs is ghost introducing the eye glass is that Apple's answer to Google glass because if so 11 years is a hell of a long time to stay behind the curve Apple Kirito seen in the cafe ends at 19 minutes and 22 seconds into the episode that's 11 [ __ ] minutes that this episode spent on pure exposition between characters sitting down in a cafe one of the worst parts of sword art online has always been that the show is just plain [ __ ] boring I thought the exposition in the first episode of season 1 was bad but even that wasn't nearly this long and at least it had this whole thing with the evil guy floating in the air and like every Randy in the whole game [ __ ] themselves in terror this is just a couple guys eating [ __ ] cake and explaining the whole plot what baffles me is that anyone made it past this episode if I'd gone into this show with no expectations and watched this episode I never would have made it through this entire scene I've shows halfway through the first episode that weren't even this bad about their exposition the idea that anyone watched this episode and got like really excited for another season of sword art online just blows my [ __ ] mind as Asuna explains the connection between the imperial garden and castle ein cried she still refers to the creator of sao as commander you'd think something more like that [ __ ] monster might be more appropriate but i guess since these two met in sao they prefer to think of it as their romantic getaway rather than that terrible place where everyone got murdered by a sick evil man whatever keeps the PTSD away I guess at the end we get to meet Sheen ons ass and camel toe followed to a lesser extent by chignon and oh my god she's voiced by miyuki sawashiro I loved you how could you do this to me we closed out on the horribly obnoxious opening theme which by the way I highly recommend that everyone watched my a MV where I set this opening video to that one [ __ ] horrible Hawthorne Heights song it's legitimately my favorite thing I've ever made and I've watched it like 30 times seriously go do it it's link below pause the video our patrol crew episode 2's cold-open has sheen on fighting a large boss by sitting on a Ledge outside of its attack range and emptying like eight cartridges of ammo into it I assume that she's exploiting a glitch in which case someone needs to catch this [ __ ] boss because there's no way this should be a viable strategy this would mean that the sniper class has no chance of ever dying as long as they have a perch to fire from meaning they can basically cheat the system and solo the entire game by playing in the most boring way imaginable so I guess to make up for the first episode only having like two minutes of game footage this episode is set entirely inside of gun Gale online and follows a mission with chignon it opens up with a bunch of Randy's talking about some mission they were about to do and it's evident from their character designs alone that none of them matter at all this guy's moustache is notable enough to make him relevant to this episode but just by looking at these guys you can tell that none of them will ever show up again so there's no reason to care about anything which might happen to them mustache guy explains that in this game only real guns are effective against other players whereas they kill monsters using energy guns because players who focus on killing monsters primarily use and assume expect awards energy guns they are easy prey for player killers using real guns in other words the PvP in this game is horribly [ __ ] broken and makes no sense because Reki Kawahara doesn't know [ __ ] about MMORPGs have some shots of xin ons legs and tits while this guy purrs on her even though he knows she's a high school student even though you know she's a high school student this might be a bit of a nitpick even for me but what's up with scheana on putting on a headset when the other guys run out onto the battlefield do you have to actively equip a headset in this game in order to party chat I guess it's supposed to add some kind of realism factor which I can totally see being a thing but it seems really asinine to not have party chat available at all times and who knows how they handle guild in private chats this is the kind of thing I could see being done in like an ish military style realistic MMO game but not in one of the biggest games around apparently one of the mechanics in this game is that you can see the trajectory of bullets that are coming at you theoretically you'd think this would make sniping nearly impossible since the element of surprise is gone the moment you fire and as long as the opponent notices in time which the cloaked guy does they can easily sidestep it it's explained later that a sniper's burst shot doesn't have a prediction line but that's just cheap since they're basically guaranteed at least one kill being able to see these lines isn't necessarily a bad mechanic but it would probably turn it into sort of a tactics game that's more about misdirection and team effort than typical cover based shooter strategies like what the characters seem to be using at this point though it really just feels like how Ihara was throwing in every new idea he had for a game mechanic with reckless abandon by the way chignon can easily dodge a flurry of bullets without even being behind cover all of the Randy's get killed like you know they were going to and chignon keeps repeating this corny ass line about how she has to kill this guy because he's quote strong enough to smile on the battlefield it's a [ __ ] video game I kind of hope most people are having enough fun to smile on the battlefield when the big guy catches her before she has time to shoot she gets the drop on him by jumping an absolutely insane distance into the direction of his fire and for whatever reason he just isn't capable of raising the gun fast enough to shoot her before she can get into point-blank range and annihilate him at this point it's less a matter of Shino being the best sniper in the game in more giuse that she's unstoppably unbelievably overpowered seems to be a common theme among Sao characters so once all that's said and done we jump cut to Alfheim online and hey it's the lolly from episode 3 of season 1 and oh my god she's getting tentacle groped by plant monsters again what a [ __ ] phenomenal callback you know my good friend ghost lightning had a term for when a show would call back to memorable moments from previous iterations or works he called it remembering love however my friends for this scene I'm coining the term remembering hate as in oh yeah I remember why I hate this [ __ ] show because it thinks that lolly who's always getting tentacle grope is an actual characterization anyways this episode gives us our first look at my favorite thing in Sao - the spurned woman's Club this group consisting of the girl who fell in love with Kirito in episode 3 the girl who fell in love with Kirito in episode 7 and Kirito sister who's been in love with him forever follow kirito and asuna around so they can bask in the glow of their unyielding jealousy with only one another for comfort seriously this is a thing all of Kirito rejected would be girlfriends just follow him and his girlfriend around it's amazing I assume asana lets them stay just to look down on them hey Kirito isn't it uncomfortable to lay with your arms on top of your sword like that I'm still not clear on how much feeling the characters actually having these games if I find out it's none at all then kirito and asuna sex scene from the first show it's just gonna get really awkward or perform brew it was around the time of episode 3 coming out that people started to really warm up to sort on on line 2 when the show was first airing and I totally get why it's the first episode that actually injects some [ __ ] human drama into the show by giving us the backstory and motivations of she knowns real-world counterpart asada that said I would be hard-pressed to call this a good episode of anime by any stretch yeah in a show that's this barren with things to care about any little bit of characterization is going to feel like a breath of fresh air but that doesn't change how sloppily paced boring and generic most of the episode is it starts off with carne asada in a generic bullying scenario in which she gets brought to her knees by a girl pointing a finger at her and threatening to show her model guns at school I guess guns are her trigger [Applause] [Applause] carne asada gets rescued by some kid who obviously wants to [ __ ] her and they sit down and yet another cafe for another four [ __ ] minutes of completely boring exposition this time they don't even have the decency to show the characters eating or waiters taking away their dishes or any crazy visualizations they're just [ __ ] sitting there having a mirror in the background isn't impressive when the characters aren't doing anything which is why the disappearance of haruhi suzumiya is the only show that got this right exposition scenes in cafes are one of the worst things you can ever do in a show because they're totally [ __ ] boring in cliche if you take screenwriting classes as my brother Victor has they actually teach you to never write exposition scenes in cafes or restaurants because it's so [ __ ] tired and boring and it was at this point in episode three that I started thinking back and realized that sword art online is crazy with its diner scenes off the top of my head episodes 3 4 5 6 8 15 17 and 25 of season 1 had dialogue scenes in some kind of pub or cafe and that's just what I can remember this wasn't as aggravating in season 1 though because the first two arts were set inside of fantasy games so the cliche of meeting at the pub or in is a fitting trope of the genre even when they met at the bar in the real world it wasn't so bad because one of the characters from Sao actually ran the place now however there's been two exposition cafe scenes in the real world and it just comes off as [ __ ] lazy while drawing attention to just how much Reki Kawahara uses cafe scenes as a crutch to dispense large amounts of story details that he isn't creative enough to weave into the narrative when I see two characters sitting in a cafe talking I take that as a signal that I'm about to see a bunch of boring [ __ ] for X number of minutes and it immediately disengages me from what's happening and characters introduced in these kind of scenes leave no impact whatsoever it's the worst way to handle expository dialogue yet it seems to be the only way that this show knows how and it only gets worse from here anyways now we jump into carne asada is backstory I like how when her mom gets jumped to the ground she doesn't even drop her magazine she just sits there like an idiot eventually she gets up and attacks the guy and amid the confusion gets ahold of his gun and gets that son of a [ __ ] find it kind of hard to believe that she would have fired the gun more than once or that it would have been necessary to do so but whatever this is fine as a backstory it makes enough sense as a reason that she'd be scared of guns though this whole conceit that her mother is afraid of her now is total [ __ ] I'm pretty sure if my daughter saved my life from a crazy [ __ ] drug addict I'd have given her a high five put her on my shoulders carried her straight to McDonald's and bought her a happy meal with a My Little Pony toy then I would have educated her on gun violence or something look I'm not irresponsible Kirito tells astana about how he's going to go play gun Gale online for a while and then we learned that for him to transfer his current file into another game it'll erase all of his items in Alfheim for some reason this is really a plot device for why asana isn't going to follow him into gun Gale online although if she knew the circumstances behind why he's going that I'm not really convinced she wouldn't have gone anyways to look out for him it certainly would have been better than basically writing the best character out of the show for 14 episodes Kirito then visits this creepily flirtatious nurse and jumps into the game back with chignon it's finally revealed that the reason she plays gun Gale online is for some kind of exposure therapy to get over her fear of guns and she's convinced that if she can become the best player in the game it'll erase her fears you know I could rag on this but it's really not that bad of a concept from a dramatic storytelling standpoint it's fine it's a character motivation that makes enough sense that we can at least buy into her desire to become the best player in the game like I get it it's certainly not the stupidest motivation we're going to see this season or purse rolled for let's talk about kiri toes [ __ ] character design first of all apparently in gun Gale online your character model is totally randomized no one would play this [ __ ] game no one and I mean no one would play an MMORPG in which you have to manage your build for months on end if you can't even design your own [ __ ] character this is like the most basic feature of MMORPGs and most games are constantly trying to expand on customization rather than reduce it the idea that this is one of the biggest MMO games around is practically insane at this point moreover on what basis does the game choose your character model because it seems like most people have voices that perfectly match their design part of me thinks the game might automatically morph the to match the body since Kirito starts talking with a really effeminate inflection before he even realizes that he's in a female looking body but at this point I can hardly imagine the concept even making that much sense the fact alone that not only does Curie does character look just like him with long hair but that carne asada scare achter is just herself with blue hair and without glasses feels like it's trying to insult my intelligence hey remember that big guy from episode 2 did he only SPECT to be a gigantic strength build after his character was already oriented that way his randomly designed character and don't try to tell me that the character designs somehow read with the person playing them looks like because xsede looked nothing like his character I don't even want to know how they're going to explain deaf gun but you know what's really [ __ ] up about all of this is the logic behind it the only reason this system exists is so that Kirito can have a girly looking character designed for this arc and the conceit that he couldn't customize it exists because it wouldn't be in character for him to design it that way not a single thought was paid to how this would shatter the immersion by making no [ __ ] sense ah ha ha look at Kirito trying to use feminine hand gestures to convince chignon he's a girl it's funny cuz it's sexist chignon tells Kirito a bunch of [ __ ] that we already learned in episode 2 and then we meet this magnificent character it's funny cuz it's racist no really it's actually kind of funny though Kirito plays this little bullet-dodging game and immediately displays a better understanding of the games mechanics than most of its longtime players because he's some kind of virtual MMO newtype seriously is predicting the prediction lines really that novel of a concept wouldn't high level players have discovered this technique like immediately I know that every decent FPS player I've known is able to predict their enemy's movements and firing trajectories so I don't see how this is any revelation to the players of GGO chignon says some things to suggest that at this point she's basically a gun otaku excitedly describing the histories and capabilities of several guns which kind of calls into question how she's still so afraid of them even being suggested in reality Kirito being the gothy fifteen-year-old that he is immediately goes for a black handled beam saber arguing that if the weapon exists in the game then it must be usable of course usually when a weapon isn't being used in a game it's because that game is unbalanced but if this game is in fact then kiri toes right and you'd think that sword users would be pretty common for the same reason that people always rushed for the energy swords in Halo multiplayer [ __ ] why am I even questioning this obviously our Lord and Savior Kirito is just so good that he'll make this otherwise broken weapon usable while he's at it he makes these buggies which apparently everyone finds impossible to control usable and at this point a wondering if GGO is just meant to be like this really shitty broken game that would kind of suck if you weren't stupidly awesome like Kirito I mean what kind of MMO makes you travel in real time with no teleporters and then has cities that are several kilometers in size why is anyone playing this [ __ ] game corner and park rule hi there did you enjoy that video I know I did not the editing part though that was actually hell but I did put more effort into it than I've ever put into a video before and if you really enjoyed it and you'd liked me to be able to make more of those kind of videos than by all means show your support subscribe to the channel like on the video and all that stupid crap but more importantly give me money I've got a patreon and a paypal you can send me money and I can make more videos because that's all I do it's all I do it's all I do

Channel: Ygg Studio

Views: 1,545,855

Keywords: Sword Art Online, Sword Art Online II, season 2, gun gale online, phantom bullet, sinon, shinon, kirito, asuna, your movie sucks, YMS, Digibro, analysis, review, reaction

Id: CHhebk70xRo

Length: 27min 26sec (1646 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 21 2014