Would I Lie To You with Frank Skinner and Jon Richardson | S05 E06 | All Brit

[Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] i lied to you the show that celebrates the dark art of the tall tale on david mitchell's team tonight he's spied on more birds than a teenage russell brand it's the comedian naturalist and tv presenter bill oddie and one of the country's best loved comedians who's also had a number one hit in the charts finally someone i can relate to it's frank skinner and joining lee mack tonight a comedian who used to have a job in a call center she says it wasn't that bad but the daily 17-hour commute to mumbai was knackering and the comedian who trained as a chef but had to give it up when he realized he wasn't a rude cantankerous ass john richardson so we start with round one home truths where our panelists each read out a statement from the card in front of them not to make things harder they've never seen the card before so they've no idea what they'll be faced with and it's up to the opposing team to sort the truth from the lies and sarah milliken is first tonight sarah okay i once wet myself in a car and then blamed it on my friend's dog david right um i mean it's i'm willing to believe it i'll say that at this point why did you wet yourself in a car because i needed a wii in a car i've needed a wii in a car but i've never weed in a car i was once stuck in a very long a line of traffic trying to get onto the seven bridge on the m4 and i let myself go in a one liter bottle of volvic i did that on the motorway and my problem was i was really desperate and i had a bottle of water and i had to drink the water my body was saying oh no more water so it was it was a terrible cyclical thing now syrina got it down it was out again i didn't want to draw attention to myself because people might pull up either side and i'd clearly by my facial expression be urinating please show us that face so i mean this is obviously just for everyone but me a commonplace occurrence basically lavatories are just for me what a great day for your autobiography who did you blame the dog too if you said a man uh to the mechanic when i took it in for a ballot so whose car was it my car your car you peed in the car yep were you in it is there a good reason for that were you in a traffic jam after a large bottle of evian i always say well just tap water probably um i've never been in a car with a tap so you know it's a very posh car all right um yeah i was stuck in it it's so posh it's plumbed in you've got gallons i've never done this but is it conceivable because as a woman you don't really have much control over where it's going but as a man is it conceivable you could aim it out of the window you could you could but the speed you were going at would mean [Applause] so when you got to this mechanic what did you what did you say i mean was the stain so clearly visible no it sunk right in was he a bit confused that the dog was driving because it wasn't on the driver's seat you change seats that is dangerous you change seat in a traffic jam where you're in control of the vehicle you can't buy class can you if i looked in a rear view mirror i think that passenger looks very very content considering there's no one driving so what are you thinking david what do you think i just think sarah is the kind of strong independent woman who would step out of her car stride to the hard shoulder and say just go and then do it yeah bill do you believe it yes all right it happened well you think it's true and you think it's a lie so i have to decide which i hate um i think i think it's true it's true yeah okay so in that case sarah truth or lie it is true [Music] goodness me i was stuck in traffic for two and a half hours i was in absolute agony and thought it was the only way out and it was either that or rupture something so i just moved across stripped wade moved across pulled back up champion well there we are and uh if you've been affected by any of the issues raised uh frank okay i was once driven to a e in an ice cream van in place of a siren the driver turned on the musical chimes what happened to you that involved having to go to a e well i was um i was playing um rounders and i ran in between bases and i sort of went over on my ankle and it was in cornwall your ankle yes that's so far out of place so i was in i mean real proper agony like honestly i thought i was going to it hurts so much and somebody found an ambulance and it probably was about 25 minutes and still no sign this bloke came over from the ice cream van and um he said i'll take you to the hospital so they're trying to dial the emergency service perhaps they set it down in 99.99 so you've gone over on your ankle yeah and the ice cream man has seen you from a distance we didn't have a car we all got the train down so no one had a car with them right so this bloke said i'll give you and i was just the idea of getting to somewhere where they could just give me a pain killing injection would have been lovely i presume he didn't get the siren going straight away no it wasn't the siren it was it was green sleep well great did you like give him some money for lost trade oh no john when you've been a celebrity a bit longer you'll realize that money is no longer relevant well that's informal i was intrura i don't understand why you would put the siren on i think i said i didn't mention to him that i liked um music from the tudor period i also don't understand why you were in true role cause if you didn't drive you would have got the fast service to penn dance holiday was a combination of rail travel and taxis and a little bit of ice cream time for a decision what do we think i'm not happy with it you're not happy with i'm not happy with it you're not having it oh i think it's true i don't want to become trevor travel planner but if i mean around this kit is something you throw in the boot of a car you don't take it on a train okay so you're saying it's true it's true john thinks it's a lie yeah we'll say it's a lie then you're gonna say it's a lie okay frank truth or lie it is a lie [Applause] yes it's a lie frank wasn't driven to a e in an ice cream van in fact accidents involving ice cream vans are incredibly rare yet always result in the tragic loss of hundreds and thousands bill you're next right okay i was saved from drowning by a character from the children's show rainbow wow surprisingly buoyant you're six foot felt covered man we don't know there was unfelt covered men as well people human beings i think that's jeffrey well let's not give him any names don't help him which character he says jeffrey and i'll kill you freddie well there was a freddie there was a rod jaylen freddie yeah yeah that's he was the sexier of them i was like the pink hippo only one arm though what yeah george and zippy had one arm each oh no no yeah they did the other arm was in the mouth wasn't it what are you saying sorry you said a lot of disgusting things on this show but now you've gone too far so freddie has saved you from uh from what was that pond from drowning the pond there was the ocean the ocean okay which ocean was it it was the indian ocean did you get the train there [Laughter] now the question i want to know is is fred from rod jones and freddie is he on holiday with you or is this an unbelievable coincidence it is actually an unbelievable coincidence yes he did no he did know me i didn't uh hadn't met or anything else he was aware but he was aware that there was somebody in the sea somewhere offshore waving as if to say i am drowning he probably thought you're doing the funky gibbon didn't he it might have been pre funky game man what year was it wow truly human beings still lived in the scene [Laughter] we're in the sea and then rod jane and freddie i'm just freddie's he's with rod and jane by the way and he was with jane well jane and freddie were were a couple weren't they i think there still are a couple did rod must have felt left out he was giving it to zippy [Applause] well i'm not suggesting you'd arrive and before i save you [Applause] have been intercepted by a lifeboat that was the angriest he has been three series don't come onto this show and soil the seats too late [Laughter] so bill he gets you back to the shore was that the end of it we then exchanged the pleasantries and said you know are you what the hell are you doing here they were on holiday we were on holiday total coincidence my query would be this and it's not train related if no one else bought freddie was around how did you not know you were on holiday with freddie it was a very small island i'll name drop it now and the seychelles middle class [Laughter] [Applause] we all get free holidays in the seychelles now i also think the seychelles sound nice i've always adored the island of mauritius okay time for your decision what is your laser-like mind telling you no it's a lie yeah i think it's a lie because i don't remember any episodes of rainbow that had freddie swimming in them so i'm not sure he could i think it's true but i just have this really sad image lots of other people watching you drown then okay john says it's true sarah says it's a lie i i'm gonna say it's true okay very well the answer is it's true [Music] yes it's true a bill was saved from drowning by freddie from rainbow our next round is called this is my where we bring on the mystery guest who has a close connection to one of our panelists uh this week each of lee's team will claim it's them that has the genuine connection to the guest and it's up to david's team to spot who's telling the truth so please welcome this week's special guest kathy [Music] welcome kathy so uh john what is kathy to you uh this is kathy and we crashed into each other while we were both on our driving test sarah how do you know kathy this is my friend kathy we fold the newspapers into reporting that she'd be left under the spell of a hypnotist at a hen party and uh lee what about you this is kathy she's the hotel receptionist that i had to phone from my room when i found a peacock in my hotel room so there we have it john's pranked motorist sarah's newspaper prankster or lee's peacock remover david where would you like to start john you're hi driving test you how did the crash happen what maneuver were you attempting i was pulling out of her junction onto a carriageway but then i saw a car so i stopped and she drove into the back of me basically two driving tests in convoy as it were yeah well you do that you do the same route from the same driving school didn't you when you go to get your exam did you file your test john uh we both had to have our tests annulled because of the accident the knoll that usually involves the pope when was this john i had just had to renew my license so 11 years ago 11 years ago okay kathy hasn't changed her number in 11 years she described it as weird what had happened and i remember thinking it wasn't weird you hit me so she said we should keep numbers jokingly and said so that we don't get our test on the same day next time lol did yeah say lol 11 years ago it was just coming in then right before we even knew you could write it down sarah why why did you um what's the story here what a disinterested policeman i think you mean uninterested policemen all good policemen are disinterested yes good point not an amusing point but grammatically an absolute belter yeah what's the difference between what is dissonance disinterested means impartial uninterested means bored i don't know which one the audience yeah sorry um so sarah you fooled the newspapers about a hypnotist at a hen party fooled the newspapers into reporting that she had fallen under a spell uh put under by the hypnotist at the hen party and what what was the nature of the spell what did kathy think she was uh every now and again she would just burst into the song as madonna so how did you then fool the paper you did you just phoned them up just phoned them up and told them and they printed it they came out and did a photo shoot the local paper did it end up in any national paper yeah it ended up in most of the national papers seriously the most was kathy photographed was she in the paper looking madonresk uh yes she was david are you satisfied with your witness would you like to move on let's say what about what about you had you found a peacock in your hotel bed yes i found a peacock in my hotel room here did they have ornamental grounds they they had some sort of ornamental grounds to a degree i don't they definitely had peacocks did you hear the peacock uh i woke up in the morning it was ground floor and uh uh you know like most blokes who sleep on their own hotels it can get a bit whiffy all right so i opened the french doors that were all you are from the french doors so i go into the swimming pool which is very near my room i come back with the dressing gown on i walk in and there's a peacock yeah did he do the thing with his tail he saw me and he sort of went like that and i think his tail went up a little bit and then he sort of ran around a bit and then he sort of got a bit flustered and i tried to waft him out the door i was a bit panicking because i know a peacock doesn't sound very threatening but it's one of those things that in your room suddenly becomes terrifying so now you've you've tried to off the peacock out and then you your ring reception kathy answered yes what what do you say i said there's uh this is a bit weird but there's a peacock in my room and she said oh yeah they do that a lot believe it or not and she came round she sort of just literally sort of was more assertive than me she wasted it with a bit more i'm saying it was a bit more masculine than that i said you haven't let it go have you so you use the pillow maybe you know the peacock went out even shut the doors from me i was like i could have done that it was just it was a takeover by the peacocks to distract kathy when she got back to reception 50 peacocks this is our hotel now i just i just think a receptionist would phone someone else another member of staff to deal with it wasn't a big five-star hotel it was a sort of you know i don't know what star it was but it was a sort of it was more casual the hotel than you're imagining no no peacocks are in very posh places and very formal places very rural places generally no not no it's not like you don't you don't farm peacocks yes you do people do farm peacock no but what okay yes inside is covered in masses of peacocks peacock milk we endlessly drink occasional panicky later and say we won't let him stay here again he's all stuck up so uh we need an answer david's team is kathy john's unfortunate learner driver sarah's hypnotized hoaxer or lee's receptionist to the rescue well you see if we think kathy though is the core of this whole thing yeah i think kathy looks too alternative and cool to work in a small anonymous hotel you know what i'd say to that frank have you ever noticed sometimes you're talking to the receptionist at a hotel yeah and they seem one thing and you see them in the local pub later that night and they can be quite punky all right believe it decision time what are you going to say um bill what do you think i would think that it could be the peacock rescue i can see her doing all the moves for madonna i can see her with three muscular black men behind her doing a synchronized dance so can she by the look i think i think it's sarah's i think it's a local paper scam you're local that's what you're going for yeah okay cathy would you please reveal your true identity hi i'm kathy and together sarah and i filled the local papers with our fake hypnotism story wow it was in the national press it went in the star and the express but it was biggest news on the shields gazette when it was front page news there it is thank you very much kathy which brings us to our final round quick fire lies in which our panelists lie not only through their teeth but against the clock first off is it's lee when i'm at home i amuse myself by shaving only half my face and doing that thing where you have a conversation between two people are the characters of the of the shavedly unshavenly i'll often do a sailor because that suits the look of the longer picture can we have a little bit of sailing looks like you saved off your beard off again that doesn't make sense because it doesn't it looks like he's got the computer no no no no no no he has got the beard and he's talking to the man yeah looks like you shaved off your beard off again yeah but the other person goes i couldn't help it i had to because i was feeling a bit hairy but that doesn't make any sense because the other one looks like he's completely shaved his beard no no no sorry i've shaved half the beard yes yeah the one with the beard is the sailor with the beard going it looks like you've shaved off your meaning half your yes [Music] i'll do okay looks like you've shaved off your beard off again okay yes i had to but you should see the other side look it's still there and then goes i'm just as bad as you look clean you want to let the story finish you know what music is because i am a you know what the kids just laugh and clap right david time for a decision well i think we think it's a lie don't we i think so yes yeah yeah definitely saying it's a lie okay lee is it the truth or were you telling a lie it is in fact true yes it's true lee does amuse himself by shaving only half of his face and pretending to have a conversation between two people uh john possession right there's a box under your desk john would you put bring the box up please this is the emergency kit that i keep in my car at all times okay well not at all times obviously it's here [Laughter] john will you take it out of the box and put it on the desk there what would have been brilliant can we investigate it yes i'd quite like it i'll be very careful with it are you going to bring it back yeah yeah i'll be careful there we go thank you oh i've never given another man my box before okay there's a mug spotted mug yeah well spotted yes here's options belgian chocolate bill sorry can you be careful with that that's his mother's [Laughter] [Applause] ashes here a little little bottle of some red wine can i just say this is like the most boring version of the generation or the best freddy steady it's a sort of a post nuclear deal or no deal um right okay so take us through why you've got these items well i'm on the road a lot and uh i like uh food and alcohol so i make sure i have some in case i have an unexpected overnight stay i love how how seriously bill and frank are studying the product this has got a very curious marking on it there's a circle and a pregnant woman and a lion going across it what's that that suggests to me that they don't advise that pregnant women drink [Applause] it's hardly hieroglyphics see what if i found this in a car i'd assume it was the flight recorder david time to guess i think it's nonsense so are we having to say you're saying it's a lie okay uh john uh were you telling the truth or were you telling a lie it is true and uh i should say if you're thinking of compiling an emergency car kit of your own both would i lie to you and the bbc would like to point out that other brands are available [Music] and that noise signals time is up and it's the end of the show and i can reveal that tonight's winners by a massive seven points to three lee's team of course it's not just a team game and my individual liar of the week is sarah milliken yes sarah sarah hasn't lied so much since her first day on loose women when she told her co-hosts honestly i can't smell gin good night [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: Banijay Comedy

Views: 162,484

Keywords: britcom, british comedy, british humour, british comedy series, Comedy, British comedy, banter, best British comedy, the inbetweeners, British humour, classic comedy, classic British comedy, would i lie to you, wilty, wilty series 5, Bill Oddie, Frank Skinner, Sarah Millican, Jon Richardson, lee mack, david mitchell, rob brydon, lee mack would i lie to you, david mitchell would i lie to you, rob brydon would i lie to you, would i lie to you series 5

Id: 7ZCy0jEYAdM

Length: 28min 39sec (1719 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 03 2022