Worst MRES vs the Best MRES

[Music] thank you the worst MREs meals rejected by everyone humans have fought and died for countless causes on innumerable battlefields but while many people share Sympathy for the sacrifices made by the common Soldier they should probably feel worse about some of the god-awful rations they would have been forced to consume before they were killed biscuit Browns for many British soldiers biscuit Browns is a term that can excite fondness disgust and discomfort in equal measure however this didn't apply so much to the bowels a staple of British Army ration packs until February 2009 many soldiers actually enjoyed these fortified vitamin biscuits despite the rather unfortunate side effect that came with them described by one British soldier as six slices of compressed cardboard these rather unappetizing Wafers were known for their versatility and could be paired up with Pate dunked in instant soup and even mashed up in milk and sprinkled with sugar to make a rudimentary weetabix-like breakfast meal yet the Browns were not universally favored since they actually prevented anything Brown from leaving the eater the biscuits tendency to constipate was undoubtedly useful on the battlefield where all distractions even natural ones had to be minimized on the other hand biscuit Browns and their unique ability to bung up the nether orifices of a soldier for as long as three days meant they were also widely reviled and often used instead for target practice the cheese and vegetable omelette the cheese and vegetable omelette was an Infamous U.S army meal ready to eat ration pack introduced in 2005. quickly dubbed the vomit by troops this gelatinous beige slab not only looked like barf but it actually tasted like it as well news of the vomits notoriety would soon filter back to the branch of the army responsible for releasing it the combat feeding directive desperate to make amends for the foul monstrosity it had Unleashed they soon tried to sugarcoat it by including a complimentary bag of Skittles or M M's and a Pop-Tart to go with it but while these were welcome additions it still didn't address the basic inedibility of the main course later on a miniature bottle of Tabasco sauce was added in an attempt to camouflage the awful flavor but to no avail to the relief of all the vomit was discontinued in 2009 after a mercifully short four-year production run yet as anyone who has Trident will assert the trauma it left behind will last a lifetime embalmed beef in his Memoir veteran Carl Sandberg vividly describes a moment of shared revulsion a tin of red horse would be handed to one man who opened it he put it to his nose smelled of it wrinkled up his face and took a spit the next man did the same and the next until eight men of the mess had smelled grimaced and spit then that tin of red horse was thrown overboard for any of the fishes of the Atlantic Ocean who might like it here Sandberg was making reference to one of the most controversial food scandals to ever grace the United States the Spanish-American war of 1898 is perhaps best remembered for the embalmed beef Fiasco which cans of grisly rotten beef were supplied to American troops so called because they smelt exactly like an embalmed dead body the meat had become rancid because it had been treated with a food preservative called formaldehyde that simply didn't work resulting in widespread food poisoning amongst the American ranks following a public inquest that led to the resignation of the secretary War Theodore Roosevelt who had tasted the tainted rations himself past the 1906 Pure Food and Drug Act and the Meat Inspection Act so that a repeat of embalmed beef could never happen again makanochi's stew makanochi's Stew was a well-known ration supplied to World War One troops consisting of beef potatoes harico beans carrots turnips and onions somewhat edible if warmed up the Stew's stinky side effects only became apparent when eaten cold known as the man killer at a lower temperature the stew resembled a ghastly blob of congealed animal fat populated with barely recognizable chunks of meat and vegetables and was described by one reporter as an inferior grade of garbage if a soldier somehow managed to Wolf down this stomach churning Abomination you could be sure that shortly afterwards his comrades and a frantic attempt to stop their nostrils dissolving would be on the lookout for absolutely anything resembling a gas mask yet most troops had no choice but to deal with the ungodly smell usually the result of an Unholy Union between the turnips and the harico beans a private recalled how one of the features of the night marches was the frightful stink the makanochi's stew ration gave the troops flatulence of a particularly offensive nature so we marched Along on air released by hundreds of men Breaking Wind essence of coffee during the American Civil War coffee was incredibly important for Union troops who were each given around 36 pounds of java annually to fill their ration packs it was a spirit boosting Brew drunk at every available opportunity and while the idea of some servicemen having carbines with built-in coffee grinders was a myth there were officers such as general Benjamin Butler who were renowned for launching attacks at the precise moment the caffeine levels of his men were peaking thus when it was not readily available this could cause a huge dent in morale leading to the creation of several coffee Alternatives the worst of this Bunch was known as the essence of coffee the brainchild of businessman George Hummel which is made from the evaporated husks of coffee beans with condensed milk and sugar paired with this condensed milk and sugar the essence of coffee was a nightmarish mess of vile Brown sludge despised by Union soldiers that was often so tough it had to be broken up with a rifle bun before boiling on colder days even worse this horrible slush which caused painful abdominal cramps was often reconstituted at the back end as a nasty stream of violent diarrhea since suppliers often added spoiled milk to the mix to cut costs premium quality beef among the most prominent articles in the ration pack provided to the Russian soldiers invading Ukraine currently is the canned meat which can come in several varieties that include a vegetable and meat dish supplemented with either buckwheat porridge or peas and carrots and also in a classic form of beef goulash while these rations may sound appetizing now in the past they were anything but in 2011 whistleblower major Igor mattmayev revealed that the Russian top brass had tried to cover up a scandal in which Russian troops were fed dog food instead of beef at a military base situated in the remote Far Eastern city of Vladivostok in a bid to save money dog food labels were plastered over with another one suggesting the contents were in fact premium quality beef in a video taken at the base's storehouse matve explained that according to internal documents there should have been about 13 800 cans with 4 485kg grams of meat inside what he found instead were 1374 expired tins and 3 111 cans of dog food although supplying additional photographic evidence of the wrongdoing the Russian military denied all of the claims stripping methayv of his Rank and imprisoning him for four years on false charges that he had assaulted two non-commissioned officers horse blood and fermented horse milk in the 13th century Marco Polo the iconic Venetian Explorer traveled to the court of the Mongolian warlord a Kuba Khan where he remained for four years during his stay Polo alleged that Mongolian Warriors had a rather peculiar custom if they were in a rush to get somewhere he stated on such an occasion they will sustain themselves on the blood of their horses opening a vein and letting the blood jet into their mouths drinking till they've had enough and then snodging it although this may be somewhat over exaggerated the Mongolian Warriors thirst for a fermented horse milk was certainly not for this is a beverage that's still enjoyed today by Nomads in the remote Eurasian steps like a mixture of beer and yogurt this legendary and moderately alcoholic drink which is also called erag was certainly an acquired taste modern research however is shown arag to the protein dense and packed full of antimicrobial on anti-inflammatory effects making it the perfect tonic for battle scarred Mongolian pillagers traveling long distances although the oldest it's surprisingly the only entry on this list that was actually healthy for the consumer and the only one that could be safely recommended beware of trying the others though unless of course constipation incessant vomiting uncontrollable flatulence and explosive diarrhea are your thing the best MREs MREs or meals ready to eat often get a bad rap from military personnel who often alternatively refer to them as meals rejected by everyone meals rarely edible or meals rejected by the enemy but while there are certainly a few downright horrible MREs they're not all that bad with some even being considered to be culinary masterpieces Chili Mac in 1995 one of the most popular MREs ever made was introduced to Hungry American soldiers the Chile and macaroni is now a celebrated MRE winning diners over with mouth-watering combinations of delicately soft elbow noodles taco flavored beef crumbles and Rich tomato sauce complimenting this delicious main course is a host of additional treats that can include a salty kippered beef stick a scrumptious slice of carrot cake and a colorful pack of wild berry Skittles among the best of the goodies on offer is the cheese bread with jalapenos a highly processed pot of joy that if lathered over dry tasteless crackers transforms them into a tooth and feast that's washed down with a grape flavored powdered drink reminiscent of Gatorade the chili mac MRE is more than a ready meal for anyone in possession of one holds in their hands the ultimate bargaining chip the contents of which can be traded for just about anything one desires nowadays it's considered so delicious it can fetch anywhere between 20 to 80 dollars online with some ex-army Personnel even maintaining their own private stashes so if you ever get the chance to try an MRE be sure to pick chili mac for according to one veteran military MREs suck overall but the chili mac is life Beware of the smelly After Effects though beef stew tracing its Origins back to the very first MRE menu issued in 1981 this Exquisite example of military food technology typically contains a hearty beef dish supplemented with carrots corn green beans onions potatoes Tomatoes gravy and a helping of white rice that can be optionally drizzled with lashings of fiery Tabasco sauce this MRE is also perfect for those with a sweet tooth featuring a wide array of sugary desserts such as strawberry jam a muffin a chocolate and banana cookie and either a powdered Juice drink or an exuberantly thick milkshake a slab of peanut butter and a portion of chewy pretzel nuggets are among some of the more Savory goodies on offer the Real Genius of the beef stew MRE however is that its various accoutrements can be combined to create a smorgasbord of gastronomical Wonders with peanut butter and jam crackers and beef dip pretzels being among the most popular fusions the creators of the beef stew MRE even thought about the post mail phase since there's also an accessory packet that has an instant coffee session as well as adequate amounts of toilet paper and towelettes you know to deal with any potentially messy consequences Norwegian Arctic field ration this NATO approved field ration is simply a Sumptuous banquet masquerading as an MRE that was first developed for the Norwegian armed forces and other Nordic military outfits by Norwegian company dry Tech this sizeable food pack consists of 24 items more at home on the menu of a fine dining restaurant that can be eaten as Standalone meals starting off the day the field ration provides a tantalizing selection of gourmet breakfast items such as blueberry and vanilla Berry and chocolate muesli as well as two fruity porridge variants for lunch there's a flavorful catalog of options like creamy salmon with pasta chicken with lentils and lime kebabs stew and even a vegan chilies too for dinner one can Chow Down on chili con carne Pasta Bolognese pulled pork with rice and Norwegian Staples like cod and creamy curry sauce the Highlight however is undoubtedly the gamey reindeers do with creamy potato and carrots from the 2016 Edition that's so good that famous MRE reviewer Steve Thomas proclaimed quote I cannot stop eating it this MRE is also jammed with energy drinks chewing gum coffee and disinfectant swabs making it the perfect support package for lengthy Arctic Adventures make sure to keep it away from the polar bears though French Armed Forces 24-hour combat ration pack this MRE is surprisingly luxurious since it's specifically tailored to satisfy the appetites of the world's Premier fine dining Nation this is perhaps the classiest MRE of them all providing the more sophisticated trooper with 3 600 calories of the finest foodstuffs over three meals and several snacks Folgers can either drink Arabica instant coffee or tea as they gobble down a breakfast of strawberry muesli nougat fruit and plum jam to quell mid-morning hunger pangs Gourmet sides such as venison wild boar and duck Pate as well as blue cheese can be liberally spread onto salty and sweet biscuits for lunch and dinner are two ready cooked dishes of the highest quality chosen from a list of 14 including such culinary Delights as beef tortellini duck confit carbonara pistachio stuffed sausages pork cheeks with ravioli gizzards and quinoa salad and Spanish paella top it all off the French MRE contains a matchbox adorned with pictures of the Eiffel Tower and the Arctic Triomphe allowing the soldier trapped in a god-forsaken hole somewhere to bask in the glory of France's greatest architectural achievements as they eat by candlelight buffalo chicken the legendary MRE that had such an impact on the appetites and orifices of American servicemen during its original production run between 2009 to 2011. pack tightly in this food packet is a bounty of enticing riches ranging from toffee cookies Reese's chocolates and instant cappuccino to Stonewall Classics such as jalapeno cheese bread and wheat snack bread the buffalo chicken MRE however is most renowned for the tasty orange buffalo sauce that not only saturates the chicken wings and fried rice but any post meal waste product that emerges from the rear end for although delicious the buffalo chicken MREs certainly has a few explosive side effects for example one U.S veteran is remarked in reference to supporters of the NFL team the Buffalo Bills that the effect on the stomach is quote like having 40 tailgating Bills fans making a mess of your insides end quote accordingly the same individual advises to quote diggle a tree before you crack this bad boy open end quote the buffalo chicken was discontinued in 2011 while an improved prototype was canceled in 2015 since the ration was more likely to loosen the bowels then ball them up as is the goal of most other Mr freeze janissary rations surveying the annals of History it's almost impossible to come across an ancient medieval or even pre-modern Army that was fed as well as troops are today the one exception are the janissaries a band of elite Warriors that serve the Ottoman Empire from the late 14th century until 1826. these highly trained Killers acted as the Sultan's personal bodyguard which meant they always had to be a Tip-Top shape in case they were forced to defend their Master as such their diets were Superior in comparison to other soldiers of the time janissary subsisted on daily generous hunks of freshly baked bread or biscuits if bread was unavailable that were eaten alongside a meat rash of approximately 200 grams supplemented by Honey coffee and rice with bulgur and barley also issued to feed their horses the janisseries not only ate well but were unique in that their organization Drew heavily on food as a way to foster a spirit of comrades ship within their ranks the janissary hat for instance was called a Burke was embellished with an ornament known as a spoon holder which was meant to symbolize that all janissaries were messmates furthermore a janissary who was in charge of a regiment was generally referred to as a chorbabashi which translates to head of soup while non-commissioned officers bore titles such as head water carrier scullion and Master Cook in battle the most heinous crime that could be committed by a janissary was allowing their Kazan a type of symbolic cauldron to be captured by the enemy and if disenchanted janissaries could even declare an official Mutiny by kicking their cooking pots over this of course probably wouldn't happen today since soldiers are far too preoccupied with stuffing their mouths full of processed goodness to make much of a fuss as it turns out they're not really that interested in biting the hand that feeds them

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Id: s49y2RP5C7E

Length: 18min 6sec (1086 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 22 2023