Will You Ever Find 'The One'? From Matthew Hussey & Get The Guy

I have a particular problem in my profession and that's that people constantly ask me how do I know when I've met the one or they'll ask me how do I find the one the problem for me is that when people ask these questions I have a hard time telling them the truth about what I actually believe that's a lie I used to have a hard time telling them the truth about what I believe now I find it much easier the one doesn't exist not only do I not think it's real but I'm glad that the idea of the one isn't real firstly why it's not real take Jane Jane has met the one at her college class in fact he just happened to sit next to her in her sociology class she says he's the one I'm so happy that I finally met him and what an incredible world where the one was sitting next to me in my sociology class that would be an incredible world Jane because there's seven billion people on earth this is slightly simplistic but let's say 3.5 billion of them are men many of them are too young and many of them are too old we're left with approximately 1 billion guys let's just put these numbers into context for a minute 1 billion guys one of those guys is the one let's take a woman who meets three guys a day every day for the next 50 years which we already know is a ludicrously high number of guys because most women don't meet three guys a day but let's say they do over 50 years that's around 55,000 guys that she meets well 55,000 guys as a percentage of 1 billion is point zero zero five percent chance that she'll meet the one now think about that that's meeting three guys a day for 50 years and she still only has a point zero zero five percent chance of meeting the one and yet we look around and we know anecdotally that far more than point zero zero five percent of women have found a guy that they want to spend the rest of their life with so why are these numbers so different here's the point we want to believe in the idea of the one human beings crave this idea one of the reasons I believe we crave it is because we like simplicity we don't like the idea that many people could be the one we like the idea that there's one person out that's right for us is what movies have taught us is what books have taught us and it seems neat and tidy because if there's just one person out there then I can just keep searching for that one person who it's supposed to be perfect with what we have to do is we just have to sit back and wait for the one to arrive and when they do we'll know about it there's a reason that I don't like this concept what happens when you're in a relationship and the one cheats on you what happens when you're in a relationship and the one starts disrespecting you or treating you badly consistently there are two schools of thought on this one person would say stick around because they're the one you have to fight it out and make it work because they're the one which of course is a recipe for living your life out with someone who doesn't meet your standards the other person would say no leave because that means he's not the one leave because the one is still out there they're not the one it's what leads to chronic relationship hopping is what leads people to consistently leave relationships when they find out they're not perfect and passionate every single day part of the problem is that we live in this incredibly entire society we have this entitlement culture where we believe we're led to believe that we're supposed to just find the one and it'd be amazing that we're entitled to that and I think that's a problem we're not entitled to something but we do have the opportunity to create something and this to me is this is my big argument you know I'm not a cynic people will be watching this and this is what you'll see in the comments is people go oh but Matt life has meaning and it somehow brings the one to you and that's how it works and you just don't get that you're a cynic I'm not a cynic I believe that the idea of love at first sight is the most unromantic idea there is if we believe that the one comes ready-made we know we don't really have to work on a relationship this person comes to us ready for us and I think that's an abhorrent concept the idea I could look at someone across the room and oh they're just right for me and they've done nothing for me but they're just right for me what an insult to a marriage of 50 years where people look back and go look at what this person has done for me that's what makes them special is how much they've invested in me what we've built together the idea of love at first sight is an insult to long-term relationships where people have actually built something through effort through hard work that to me is what's for Mantic when people stick around for each other when people look after each other when they're a genuine team I think what's romantic is when someone builds a relationship with us I have a massive belief that an amazing relationship is built it's not found creating opportunity the fact that we even have the ability to do that to walk outside and go and do it again so that someone could break up with us and we have the ability to do it again that we could lose our partner someone could pass away and we have the ability to go out there and find happiness again it's one of the most redeeming parts of love is that it's possible to find love again if we should need to now god forbid that happens to us but when it does I don't want to be worried about the one argument and how I can never be happy again I want to have that redeeming quality that knows I can go out there and make this happen again if I want to it is up to me I can find happiness again by the way does this mean that everybody could be right for us no there's still a percentage of people that we could make it work with and that may be a very small percentage but it's a lot better as odds than finding the one if you want my help with this I'd love to be part of the journey with you in creating more opportunity in your love life if you find that you don't meet enough men if you find that even though you meet men you don't attract men in the right way I want to help you with that I created a program several years back called the man myth which is still my highest selling program today it's helped so many women before you and I would love for you to try it so go to the man myth com if you want to see that or click the link below we'll link up below and otherwise I'll see you in my next video take care you

Channel: Matthew Hussey

Views: 587,150

Keywords: get the guy, matthew hussey, matt hussey, dating advice, love advice, love life advice, love life, get a guy, how to get the guy, The One That Got Away (Composition), The One (Film), The One That Got Away (Film)

Id: hnFUFy4GbdQ

Length: 6min 11sec (371 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 26 2014