Will I Be Single for the Rest of My Life?

based on the Inbox pastor John there are a lot of Christians listening to the podcast who did not expect to be single entering 2017 Ashley one of our listeners is among them she writes and asked this pastor John my struggle is singleness I'm 28 an elementary teacher and that's not really a profession to meet single men I know that with the age of tender and hook-ups casual sex will leave me empty inside and it's not a lifestyle that I'm seeking at the same time I feel alone as a Christian single I feel the church only sees me as serving material because I have quote time to serve in addition to the lack of men at church I am an extrovert I do have a life outside of my singleness and I try to live as if my singleness doesn't define me everyone tells me I'm attractive outgoing and have a lot going for me well everyone but a Christian male which is hard not to take personally how do I have hope in something uncertain I'm not promised a life of marriage how do I cling to the truth in a world lying to me about the satisfaction of hooking up how do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church Christian men and even God himself seemed to have no place for me Pastor John what would you say to Ashley wow there's so much there that we could talk about what's clear from the way Ashley asks her question and I'm going to determine what I say here because what I hear in the way she asked the question what's clear is that she knows at one level the essence of the right answers to her own questions she asks with regard to a future husband how do I have hope in something uncertain and she answers I am NOT promised a life of a marriage in other words she knows we don't hope in uncertain things we don't put our hope in what we are not promised if if we do we're bound to be crushed we hope in things that are certain not Unser things that God has promised not things that we may rightly want but have not been promised and may receive or may not receive we hope in what is sure what God is absolutely promised and he watches over his word to perform it and Ashley knows this and she asks how do I not turn to the world when I feel like the church Christian man and God have no place for me and she answers the world is lying to me about the satisfaction of hooking up she knows it to lie she knows it's a lie now my concern for Ashley and many are like her and were all like her from time to time my concern for Ashley is that the lie is already starting to creep into the way she asks her question this is exactly the way Satan insinuated his lie into Eve's mind in Genesis 3 and I don't want Ashley to become another Eve in the garden here's what he said or here's what God said now the serpent was more crafty subtle than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made he said to the woman did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden [Music] now you see already what he's doing god only for bad one tree Satan is insinuating the thought that God is stingy and for bad all the trees tragically that seed of God's tanginess took root in Eve's mind and you can see it immediately the text goes on the woman said to the serpent we may eat we may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden but God said you shall not eat of the fruit of the tree in the midst of the garden and then she adds neither shall you touch it lest you die God did not say that God did not say you shall not touch this tree but Eve was already feeling the lure of resentment against God God is withholding something from me in my life and I don't like it he's a he's a stingy god he's a narrow God he doesn't have my best interest at heart so when when Ashley says I feel like the church Christian man and God have no place for me we may understand and empathize with the feeling but alarm bells should be going off in her and our mind that the lie of Satan is taking root in the statement God is no place for me so in answer to Ashley's question how can I not turn to the world even though she knows the world is lying my answer is swim in the truth swim in the truth of God's Word and promise about you Ashley you will know the truth and the truth will set you free from the lies of the world and the devil that's what Jesus meant when he said that in John 8 so let me point you Ashley to one truth we could do dozens one truth big enough for you to swim in for a long time when Jesus was teaching about marriage and he told his disciples there's no back door once you walk in you are committed for better or for worse till death separates you no back door the disciples were stunned that Jesus shut the back door of marriage and they said if such is the case this is Matthew 19 10 if such is the case of a man with his wife it's better not to marry and then Jesus said something even more amazing he said not everyone is able to enter this relationship with such a high demand and then he uses the word eunuch to describe different kinds of people who don't enter marriage here's what he says not everyone can receive this saying this high expectation of marriage without a back door not everyone can receive this saying but only those to whom it is given in other words only divine grace verse 12 of matthew 19:4 there are eunuchs who have been so from birth and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven let the one who is able to receive it receive it now however literal we may take the word eunuch here the implication is that there are various reasons why people are not called into marriage some forego it unwillingly some willingly what does the Bible have to say about God's grace toward them what about their happiness and and and the answer that God gives is found most beautifully in isaiah 50:6 he pictures two kinds of people who feel explicitly or especially excluded the foreigner the Gentile who's not part of Israel and the eunuch who feels fruitless and like there's no future for him because he has no family and here's what he says this is Isaiah 56 verse three let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say the Lord will surely separate me from his people and let not the eunuch say behold I am a dry tree for thus says the Lord to the eunuchs who keep my Sabbath's who choose the things that pleased me and hold fast to my covenant I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters now pause there and let that sink in do you believe this Ashley that's the question a monument and the name that will last and be more satisfying than husband's names and children's names and people surrounding you with family and then he goes on I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off do you think your name or your identity will not be perpetuated because they're gonna be no children bearing your name no no one carrying your DNA there is something better God says something better that God has for you an everlasting name so Ashley the way to turn you're asking how can I turn from the world the way to turn from the world with its lies is to stop focusing on the world and it's deceptive images of pleasure but rather to focus on the infinitely superior promises of God and this is one of those hundreds of promises I don't know if God has marriage in your future he might you never know but I do know this he will give you in his house and within his walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters an everlasting name that shall not be cut off and don't miss the thing that you're most concerned about Amy that God has no place for you it says I will give you this in my house he does want you there he wants you there and to be wanted by God is better than being wanted by a thousand men think about you John for addressing this question and thank you for the email Ashley we really appreciate these kinds of personal emails that ask for advice when it comes to the most sensitive areas of life in this fallen world and as long as you have questions and as long as the Lord wills we will continue to do our best to provide the answers as we quickly approach episode number 1,000 now in the history of this podcast and as our inboxes as full as ever you can find our audio feeds to track along with new episodes at desiring God or go forward slash ask Pastor John we return on Wednesday I'm your host Tony ranky thanks for listening to your number 5 for us here on the a special John podcast you

Channel: Desiring God

Views: 137,740

Rating: 4.9004259 out of 5

Keywords: Desiring God, John Piper, God, Jesus Christ, Christianity, Christian Hedonism

Id: KLuN_n06eWA

Length: 12min 39sec (759 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 02 2017