Oooh. You see that one? “Would you ever date a bisexual guy?”
Amber? No. I just wouldn’t be comfortable with it. Um...and I don’t know why. I just feel that way. Amber Rose isn’t the only one to express
this sentiment. A Glamour survey found that 63% of women respondents
wouldn’t date a man who has ever had sex with another man, and a recent study found
that straight women rate bi men as less attractive than straight men. It’s not uncommon for people to feel uneasy
about bi men. They’re not quite sure why, but even after
overcoming their homophobia, acknowledging prejudices, there’s still something that’s
just not...quite...right about bi men. In the 1970s, when the gay movement really
found it’s footing and properly entered the public consciousness, bisexuals were still
sidelined, even while beginning to organize with bi-specific organisations and activism
or working within the gay movement. The gay community wouldn’t acknoweldge them,
and straight people didn’t even really know what a bisexual was unless they listened to
David Bowie. According to Mark Wilkinson’s research of
the UK paper The Times, the word bisexual hadn’t been so commonly used to refer to
sexual orietnation before the 1980s. He found that if you were talking about bisexuality,
you were far more likely to be talking about something unisex, like a bisexual item of
clothing. A woman might proudly sport her bisexual coat
without any awareness as to what connotation that would have to a glam rocker. Bisexuals rarely appeared in film, and when
they did, they never used the B word. Bi men of 80s cinema were portrayed as violent,
drug addicts, murderers. Let's f----! I'll f---- anything that moves! Hahahaha! But why would that be? What was happening that shifted our concept
of bisexual men from androgynous feminine boy rock stars to to violent criminals? Its 1987, and the lady in her bisexual coat
picks up a copy of The New York Times, and the cover reads: "AIDS Specter for Women:
The Bisexual Man". HIV/AIDS was first reported on in 1981. It would take years to figure out exactly
what this disease was and how to treat it. The virus seemed to be predominantly impacting
the gay community. So much so that AIDS was considered a gay
disease, originally called GRID, Gay-related immune deficiency. There was nothing uniquely gay about HIV,
it was just that it could be sexually transmitted, and it just happened to be transmitting fastest
within the gay population. But most people - straight people - saw this
as a gay disease for gay men. In 1988, Cosmo printed an article about AIDS
which assured it’s mostly straight woman readership that "most heterosexuals are not
at risk" for AIDS. It was impossible, they said, to transmit
AIDS... in the missionary position. I’m just trying to imagine why they think
the position is relevant. Like...is it...is it a butt thing? ‘Cause I feel like it’s butts related. This was an unbelievably absurd assumption,
clearly based in a moralistic perspective on HIV. “ If you have normal good straight christian
sex with your spouse you won’t get it!” This enraged activists. Like this is literally the kind of information
which will lead to people dying. Just use a condom. Misinformation means death. We know this in this pandemic, we knew it
then. Early on, governments felt free to brush off
concerns about HIV because from their perspective it was only impacting a demographic they actively
hated. What The New York Times was proposing on their
cover was that AIDS was not only for gay men. AIDS was coming for straight women. And it was bisexuals who were going to give
it to them. “Seven years ago a Miami office worker had
an affair with a bisexual man. She recalls that his confusion about sexual
orientation was one of the things that made her feel tender toward him. Now she wonders if she should get a blood
test for the AIDS virus.” “She might also be distressed to learn that
bisexuals are often secretive and complex men who, experts say, probably would not acknowledge
homosexual activity even if questioned about it. Indeed, some cannot even admit such behavior
to themselves. ''Homosexuals have been out of the closet
a long time but bisexuals have not,'' said Dr. Theresa Crenshaw, president of the 5,000-member
American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. ''Straight women are going to discover some
very unpleasant news about some men they have known.''” The article isn’t really about preparing
people for how to survive in the context of an HIV epidemic. The article wants to sensationalise this fear. It wants you, the straight reader, on edge. It wants you to question your husband. Your ex-boyfriend. The man you had a one night stand with 3 years
ago. “''If the guy won't tell me I could only
guess,'' said the Miami office worker. Her solution: no sex with any man until she
is confident of her safety. But ''even then the guy could be a good liar,''
she noted. Some women believe they can recognize bisexual
men. ''I don't care how much they want to cover
it up, their little effeminate ways tip you off,'
The article never mentions condoms, nothing about safe sex. Like imagine an article introducing you to
the threat of COVID but not mentioning that you should wear a mask. What’s the point of warning people about
a virus but not telling them how to protect themselves from it? But to the writer of this article, the threat
isn’t AIDS, the threat is bi men. The Specter. In 1989, Cosmo published an article called,
"When a Wife Discovers Her Husband is Bi-sexual”. The point of this article was to promote the
“bisexual bridge” theory, the idea that bi men were the vectors of transmission between
gay and straight populations. They had clearly changed their tune on the
missionary position! This is bad graphic design, by the way. Pink text on a pink sleeve, come on. You can’t trust these people, okay. The article begins by describing a woman who
comes home one day to find her husband cheating on her… Cindy feels like she’s the only woman in
the world to go through this, but the article assures us that, no actually, millions of
women have unwittingly fallen for... bisexuals. Because the horror does not lie in his unfaithfulness,
but in his bisexuality, which in this context is synonymous with cheater. The article never really separates bisexual
men from cheaters. To Cosmo, the bisexual existence is inherently
nonmonogamous, an idea we explored in the bi women video. They say that bi men need a gay outlet, so
its best to either divorce now or find a way to tolerate his cheating or at the very least
buy him a dirty gay magazine. “Wives who know their husbands are bisexual
can at least take steps to protect themselves from venereal diseases. Wives who don’t know are in mortal danger. More women have contracted the AIDS virus
from bisexuals than in any other way, except sharing needles or having sex with IV drug
users.” Wow! Women have contracted the AIDS virus from
bisexuals than in any other way...except for the other ways that are more common! They set up this whole article to make it
feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that no bisexual is capable of monogamy, and then at the end
they remind you that AIDS is out there and now you know, you can use this article to
help figure out if your husband is a bisexual and if you need protection from AIDS. "Few women realize how many bisexual men there
are and how risky it is to get involved with them." “It is astonishing that so few bisexual
men are found out, because in general they have more sex with their wives than the average
heterosexual - and more sex with men than the average homosexual!” There’s no citation for this! They’re just making stuff up, I feel like. Like, this idea of the oversexed bisexual
is so contrary to the modern idea of the bisexual disaster who doesn’t know how to talk to
anyone, it’s wild! So now you’ve go the fear, here’s how
to tell if your man might be a secret bisexual: “If a man’s eyes follow other men, be
very cautious.” Be suspicious if he seems intensely interested
in how other men dress. (Occassionally, heterosexual men are really
interested in this, but it is not common.) “If he looks into another man’s eyes for
even a microsecond longer than it takes to make socially acceptable eye contact, beware. Heterosexual men do not do it.” “Bisexuals (and gays) are prevalent in such
narcissistic businesses as theatre, fashion, the beauty industry, art and design, and fitness. Many bisexuals are also attracted to the helping
professions: medicine, social work, counselling.” Is your partner talented? Artistic? Maybe he spent a decade in medical school
so he can dedicate his life to helping others. Well you know what that means, ladies. They basically just listed all the jobs you
would want your husband to have, like, famous actor or doctor, they’re like no, that makes
him a bisexual, fear him. Clearly this article, like The New York Times
article, and various other articles popping up all over the place at the time, wasn’t
just about a fair and reasonable concern for sexual health and safety. Bisexual men were in danger because AIDS was
devestating the community. But this article was about making straight
women frightened, not just of AIDS, but of bisexuals. On the whole, it doesn’t seem like bi men
were ever really a major vector for transmission of HIV from gay to straight communities, though
of course it did happen sometimes, tragically. And as they said before, it was more common
for straight people to contract HIV through IV drug use or having sex with an IV drug
user. And on top of that, thousands of hospital
patients were being infected through blood transfusions because of blood banks who didn’t
want to pay to test the blood for HIV. Some research I found from the 90s showed
that bi men were actually having much safer sex with men, being more likely to use condoms
for penetration. Bisexuals who were out as bi, who identified
as bi, may have been more likely to have safer sex. But, the fear of bi men, the specter, meant
that a lot of guys were scared to come out. So bi men stayed closeted. It seems like the social stigma kept bi men
closted when actually being out would have supported a safer sexual lifestyle. In 1989, Alison Gertz began to share her story
about how she had contracted HIV in 1982 through a one night stand with a bisexual man. Alison was from a well off family, she was
white, straight… as the New York Times put it... “Alison L. Gertz wasn't supposed to get
AIDS.” Gertz had only been 16 when she contracted
HIV. She was on the pill, so she didn’t use a
condom, because people didn’t really know about AIDS at the time. Alison Gertz became an activist helpling to
spread information about safe sex. She died when she was only 26. Alison Gertz was used as an example of why
we should be afraid of bi men. A side effect of this fear, whether intentional
or not, was that it caused people and governments to invest more in protecting people from HIV. The government doesn’t generally care about
queer people, poor people, people with drug problems, people of colour...but if women
like Alison Gertz were in danger, that was something worth fighting against. Women like Alison were innocent enough to
avoid this “sinner’s disease”. But they might be tricked by a bi man. It’s his fault, it’s the queer’s fault,
never hers. That is a narrative which changes people's
perspectives on AIDS. But this also requires, for the first time
in history, that we acknowledge that bisexuality exists. As Kenji Yoshino put it, "HIV has forced straights
to confess the bisexual they would otherwise deny." When I was in high school in America they
actually showed us the Alison Gertz film in sex education class. They wanted to scare us. It worked. I saw a number of films when I was younger
about AIDS, besides the Alison Gertz movie, including Philadelphia, the Captain Planet
episode about AIDS. I saw straight men with AIDS, I saw gay men
with AIDS, and I saw straight women with AIDS, and that was all good, those stories needed
to be told. But I never ever saw bi men with AIDS. In his book The AIDS Movie, Kylo-Patrick R.
Hart studied thirty-two AIDS related films made before the year 2000, with seventy-six
characters who had AIDS. 68.4% of the characters were gay men and none
of the characters were bisexual men. Hart’s study showed that the only characters
who weren't portrayed to ever have AIDS were lesbians and bi men. Film and television can give a face to victims. It can help people empathise with a group
they previously knew nothing about or maybe even dehumanized. Bi men were not given this treatment. We were just warned about, encouraged to fear
them, distrust them, until that specter became what a bi man was in the minds of the general
public. Films weren’t made for bi men. Articles about bi men were not written for
bi men. A bi man could never be the hero of any story. So we wanted to keep straight women safe. But there was less of effort to keep bisexual
men safe, even when working on gay mens’ safety. Bisexual activist and sex educator David Lourea
had trouble convincing any programming to include HIV prevention for bisexual men. “In 1982, there was a “wellness” conference
at UC Medical Center - every single one of the people on the main platform refused to
say the word “bisexual.” David Lourea was a major bisexual activist
from the 70s to the early 90s. Founding member of the San Francisco Bi Center. He was a part of a group of bisexual activists
who were also doctors and sexologists and recognised the urgency of the AIDS crisis
and helped shape the response to it, based in sex positivity - as opposed to fear tactics
- and recognising women as a potential risk group His work was incorporated into internationally
utilised programmes, except for the importance of recognising bisexual men’s education
and safety. Lourea died in 1992 from AIDS-related kidney
failure. A few months before his death, Lourea said
in an interview: “As horrible as it is, I think AIDS brought
bisexuality out of the closet.” You can feel the lack of presence of older
bi men in bi activism. You can feel the lack of younger bi men too. Bi men only make up about a quarter of the
bi community now. Guys are scared to be out as bi. And while it’s true that people held a lot
of prejudice and resentment towards bisexuals before the 80s, the impact of AIDS can’t
be understated. Bi activist Stephen Donaldson once said,
“Demographically, one major difference between the movements of the 1970s and early 1990s
is the noticeable preponderance of [bi] men in the 1970s, whereas [bi] women now outnumber
men by far both in the leadership and grass roots levels. The change may reflect how AIDS has decimated
the male population and stigmatized bi men as AIDS infectors of the straight majority.” Donaldson was another bi activist, you might’ve
heard of him as cofounder of the very first american gay student organisation in 1967. He died of AIDS related illness in 1996. People still often think of bi men as the
Specter, and up until 2015 any man who had ever had sex with a man was banned in the
US from giving blood, regardless of whether he was having safe sex or whether he tested
negative for HIV. The UK had a similar law up until 2011, and
both countries still have limitations on blood donations from men who have sex with men. We have all lived in and many of us raised
in a world where this stigma still had a very real, lasting impact. We live in a world where mens’ bisexuality
is in the public consciousness primarily because of scapegoating during a global pandemic. For most people watching this video, based
on my youtube demographics, you grew up in a world where the very concept of bisexual
men existing was shaped by the kind of media we’ve just looked at. I realised while researching this that nothing
ever kind of “went back to normal” after the AIDS crisis. In some places the threat of AIDS is an ever
present danger, but even where it isn’t, the way we approach sex has never gone back
to how it was before. HIV is here to stay. It’s a part of our realities now. HIV changed our attitudes toward sexuality. The kind of biphobia targeted at bi men is
much bigger than just the idea that they might have HIV. It’s the idea that bi men are liars, bi
men are unfaithful, bi men can’t control their sexual urges. A 1999 study found that heterosexuals had
a lower opinion of bisexual men than other group assessed, including religious group,
racial groups, ethnic groups, political groups, gay men and lesbians - everyone except for
IV drug users. This is the world which has shaped our attitudes
towards bisexuality, a world without bi men like David Lourea and Stephen Donaldson who
helped shape not just the bi community, but gay rights and AIDS activism as well. A world where generations of bi men died while
some just stayed closeted for fear of becoming "the spector" in the eyes of those they loved. Bisexual was the word used by the activists
who fought for us and who fought against homophobia and AIDS. But most people became aware of bisexuality
because of AIDS. Bisexual was the word used by the media to
stir up fear, to sensationalise, to demonise bi men. Jonathan David White speculates that the evil
bi man of the 80s was then transposed onto bi women for films in the 90s, such as Basic
Instinct. So much of our perspective on bi people today
is shaped by this crucial coming out moment in our history. Bisexuality came into mainstream consciousness
because of AIDS and all the prejudice and hatred and fear mongering that came with it
shaped our perception of bisexuality. Today we’re far more open minded and accepting
of LGBT people. Except when we’re not. And sometimes we just can’t quite put our
fingers on the reason why. Something just doesn’t quite feel right. The word bisexual just feels wrong somehow. Like the specter is still there, thinly visible,
out the corner of your eye. Thank you to all my patrons, and a special
thanks to CatR, Dani Aidan Stone, Siobhan, Aeron, aj, Aric Parkinson, Charis Edwards,
Dweebin, E.S., GaySteve, Jamie, Juicy Fantasy Queen Plant Hook Ups, Jules, Julus, Kiki,
Lord Asriel, Marla, nico, Nina, Oddbjørn the Frizzy, pregnantseinfeld, Rava Raab, Rebecca
Peacock, Rock_the_chelle, Sarah R, Sav Radmussen, Sindri LeRose, Soy, Spencer, Strawfox, Suzy
S, Talon, and Tinna Gígja And also a special thanks to Kait G who helped
me get a copy of the Cosmo article!
