Why Pet Loss is a Heavy Grief

[Music] today we are exploring the under recognized grief of pet loss some people just won't get it and some people will minimize it and some of us need to acknowledge it for what it really is i'm joe mcrodgers and i'm a social worker who supports grief through this youtube channel through my private therapy practice and through my online private membership community called the revolution collective please be sure to subscribe and turn on the notifications and like this video so that youtube will know the important work that we are doing here where we are committed to doing grief differently grief can't actually be measured but the research does say that the more the loved one is part of your everyday life of your routines then the more you can expect the grief to impact you and this so deeply applies to our bonds with our pets many of us share an intense love and a bond with our animal companions for a pet is not just a dog or a cat or a bird but rather a member of our family they are one who brings us companionship and fun and unconditional love to our lives a pet can add structure to our day it can keep us active and accountable they can help relieve stress they provide a sense of meaning or purpose to our lives so when a pet dies it is normal to feel overwhelmed by the grief and loss people all over the world find comfort and connection with pets and that's why cat and dog videos on instagram and facebook are so popular pets are important it's an inexplicable human animal bond science has studied it if you want to learn more about it look up human animal bond because it is a thing pets bring us friendship connection and emotional support and many humans struggle to find this with other humans so pets brighten our lives with an estimated 67 percent of households in the us owning a pet they are an important part of our culture so how do these critters hold such an important place in our lives and therefore our grief well the average length of a marriage in the united states is 8.2 years a dog's lifespan is 10 to 13 years and a house cat is 12 to 18 years so the most common pets outlive some of our human marriages we can lose our loved pets from many different sources the loss can come from age or illness it can come from accident or circumstances finances that can be lost or stolen and we might find ourselves having to make a painful euthanasia decision each source of this loss will have its own cadence and its own implications in our grief and each family member will have different paces and means of processing and integrating this loss symptoms that may show up of pet grief can be very similar to the death of a person that you have loved and lost so it can start with denial and anger aches and pains impatience sadness vomiting gi issues sorrow sadness depression diarrhea extreme thoughts of not being able to live without them repetitive and intrusive thoughts and our massive friend of guilt it's also common to keep looking for the pet out of the corner of our eye you can imagine hearing their tags jingle you can imagine the smell of the lost pet we can keep going to fill their water bowl repeating habits that are no longer needed to care for them grief for a pet can have social implications you can feel withdrawn or isolated you can experience a loss of identity as their caregiver the tendency though is to minimize the grief of pet loss because it was just a pet so grief symptoms may not be readily connected with the loss of the pet and this can lead to questionable medical diagnoses and treatments next talking about grief and kids if you have kids know that this may be their first time that setting their early blueprint of dealing with grief the loss of a pet may be your child's first experience with death and mortality and then it is your first opportunity to teach them about coping with grief and the pain that inevitably accompanies the joy of loving another living creature losing a pet can be a traumatic experience for kids many children love their pets deeply and some may not even remember a time in their life when their pet wasn't with them a child may feel angry and blame themselves or you for the pet's death or maybe a sibling they may feel scared that other people or animals that they love may also leave them how you model this grieving process can determine whether the experience has a positive or negative effect on your child's personal grief blueprint doesn't mean that they aren't going to feel the pain grief support needs to be age appropriate that reflects their developmental milestones sometimes it needs to be really concrete how do i know this because i was so bad at it when my kids were little i tried to hide the dead squirrel at the bottom of the telephone pole i tried to prolong the death of our guinea pig i seriously considered replacing the dead fish and while watching harry potter i told my youngest that hedwig would surely come back to life as a grief therapist i am living proof that you can challenge and change your grief blueprint what have you noticed maybe in a child who was grieving leave a comment below so we can explore all the ways that children grieve the other element to give consideration to is if there are other pets in the home because they too will have reactions both to picking up on your pain and your experience plus their own experience of the loss as well time and space needs to be given to them too have you seen your other pets grieve did they take on new roles or did their personalities change leave a comment below so how to navigate your grief from pet loss first of all make time schedule time for your grief if possible both before and after if you can if you're aware that death is coming if you are aware that a death is imminent do your research can the vet come to the home who will be present how will you make sure that you infuse those final hours and moments with love next decide how to honor and connect after the death cremation burial and urn jewelry plant a tree write a letter make a memorial picture book or find a keepsake please don't expect others to fully understand either find those who do and surround yourselves with those who fully appreciate the grief of a pet loss please don't let anyone tell you that your feelings are invalid or that it was just a cat or a hamster know that in grief the small can carry large assigned emotions and significance only you can decide what carries significance and solace when you are grieving your pet only by giving your loss expression will you begin to heal or integrate as my word integrate your grief from your pet loss it is real it is valid and it is deep so as you navigate this please give yourself kind thoughts kind words and a kind heart [Music] you

Channel: Jo McRogers Grief Support That Works

Views: 28,549

Keywords: grief, bereavement, widow, loss, death, end of life, miscarriage, stillbirth, early infant loss, grief anxiety, grief depression, grief and spirituality, connection with loved ones, death positivity, Grief rituals, grief support, Jo McRogers, loss of sibling, loss of adult child, grief counselling, mental health, tools for grief, grief and loss, support for grief, widower, coping with grief and loss, suicide, murdered, sadness, pet loss grief support, pet death, pet bereavement

Id: nQyOoQthn2U

Length: 8min 2sec (482 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 15 2022